Newspaper Page Text
if. ii.. i ggg ".'Hi III ZgSSBSSSSSSBSS^BSSi 1 I I , ! B M?1 ?i^??? ??ftgg^
*????-?- - - . - - s
WINNSBORO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22, 1885.
The wind is spent and the srale is past.
And the morning; sun shines forth at last;
It shines on h strip of yellow gand.
And a good ship sinking in sight of land.
" " ~ ? J
Over Her aock ana ner oanerevi muc
Lazily washes the ebbing tide;
Out of the rtrujrgle and deadly strife
Lo! nothing saved but a baby life.
A wee. frail thins: is the <mn poor waif?
t A wee. frail thing to lv sound and safe:
But all lorgotten its brief alarms,
^ It gayly crows in the stranger's arms.
jj&b A Bailor looks at the little form?
** 'Tis a tiny craft to have stemmed tb9
He sighs a bit as he bends him low,
And his thoughts fly back to the long ago.
Just such a babe on his young wife's breast
With clinglnjr fingers his own caressed;
Just such another?but where is he?
wrecKea ou me voj agv ui uic, maj w.
Is this bat spared that in years to come
It may drift away from its heaveniy home?
The baby laughs as his boy once did;
-Ah, will it bo so? Nay, God forbid!
The sailor's hand has a gentle touch
> For the^ake of the lad he loved so much;
And soft from his lips are the words that fall,
"God bless the children; God keep them all!"
' I see nothing as yet, Maggie. , I do
hope Jesse will not disappoint lis."
"Have no fear, Ida, replied Maggie;
,4and I declare, here they are!"
A carriage stopped before the houseBoth
ladies descended to receive
Jesse and his friend, Arnoia, woo iea
the way to the carriage, accompanied
by the sisters, Ida and May Bronson,
who were visiting their cousins, the
"By-the-by, Ida," said Jesse, "Ihare
a letter for yon."
"You have brought me ill news," she
said; "the letter is from Eugene Har,
ojave, telling me he will call tomor||r
??TT do hone vou'll make seme
J ? ? ?r - >/
alterations in your toilette to receive
Eugene Hargrave. That shade is very
unbecoming to your complexion."
"I-dislike Mr. Hargrave, Pattie, and
will not dress specially for.him."
"Of course you are at liberty to do as
you choose, but some deference ought
i to be shown him. He is tho richest
man in the country and very influential,"
"What do I care for that?"
Further conversation was interrupted
, by the arrival of the man in question,
and Ida rose to welcome Mr. Hargrave,
who was rather handsome, but showed
marks of dissipation.
When Ida and May were about to re
turn to London, Mr. Hargravewas profuse
in bis expression of regret, and remarked.
among other things, that he
would do himself the pleasure to call
on them in town.
A fortnight later he did so, and Mr.
Bronson, out of politeness, showed
him every respect, and his visits became
as frequent as they had been in
One evening, after dinner, when the
gentlemen, consisting of Jesse Stevens,
Bert Spragae, Mr. uargrave, ana Mr.
* Bronson, were lingering over their
wine, Har^rave tapped Mr. Bronson
on the shoulder and requested a privk
r Tlie old gentleman, excusing himself,
took Ear grave's arm and led him into
the library, while Jesse and Bert sought
lip the ladies in the drawing-room.
"My dear Mr. Rroasoa, I am obont
rr W comer quivo *lll uuuujl uu juui iouu!y,"
Hargrave said, waving his head
MAh, really? I am delighted, Mr.
Hargrave. Xou have shown decided
preference for my home and its inmates,
and I need not assnre yon that
I am greatly honored thereby."
"Thank you. Now you have seen
$s, my decided attentions to Miss Bronson,
r 'but ere they go any farther may I enquire
how much you propose to give
U&i OO +* V4V T?*J
Your request surprises me," answered
Mr. Bronson. "I have given
the matter no thought I must know
how my daughter regards you before
"You surely cannot doubt my ultimate
success with Ida? Remember
what a marriage with me means."
;,I am aware of your position," was
the retort, "and to avoid further pain
you had best consult Miss Ida herself,
^ and after her decision we can arrange
? And he rose, thanked him, and left
the room, promising to send Ida.
Hargrave, adjusting his eyeglass
and refastening his bouquet upon hia
tcoat, waited for Ida's appearance.
Presently she entered, bright and
smiling, and -loG&iag wondrously lovely
in a bright bhwsifk'dinner-dress.
"Papa mentioned that you wished to
see me," she said quietly.
"Your father was ri^ht Ida?there,
don't be surprised?f wish to enquire
whether Cuoid has ever touched that
heart which I hone to win for my
| ..^ot knowing what heart you refer
I to, I ca.nnofc exactly say."
t*~ ?! mea/u are you aware of the drift
of my atten.^oas to you?"
"Tilat IS pi ay
He began to gr^w uneasy. He had
rmade but poor heaa way thus far.
"I ask you to be my wife," he blurted
forth, after a paut""^ "to become
Mrs. Hargrave, and rei?n mistress of
my heart and fortune."
"Mr. Ram-are. I recognize this
W honor conferred upon me, but must decline
it, since my affections are centred
l * elsewhere. I esteem you as a friend,
but nothing more."
Hargrave, grasping her arm, hissed:
"Woman, is this my reward for tolerating
your insolent coquetries and contradictions?
- Have I 'danced attendance
on you only to be cast aside like a
useless glove? You have aroused the
demon of anger by this cool refusal."
"Mr. "- Har^rave," exclaimed Ida,
^ queen-like in her outraged pride, "will
you conduct me to the drawing-room,
or am I privileged to go alone?"
"I hare only this reply to make?
that you have grossly insulted me, and
2* 1 it I ever have the opportunity to retaliate,
I will not spare yon. Make my
- excuses to the others, and remember
r me a* your enemy/'
"Shame, sir?' criad Ida indignantly.
"And now accompany me to tne drawing-room.
as your *brnp? departure
mi^ht cause commest,,J
Together they entered the apartment,
rand ffcortly after HargTave made bis
VAVUAM *ad lett tne house.
Ida related her interview, and thev
t J. J!
sppjaaue'-i aer mouo oi proceeuiu^.
"Say no more about it, requested Ida,
and sue sat down to the piano and gave
them some music. Then the party
. broke up to meet the next evening: at
W the reception by Mrs. Baldwin at Tell
There, to Ida's great surprise, she
met Mr. Hargrave; she bowed coldly
to hi? salutation, and exchanged the
formalities of the evening. She firmly
declined dancing with him, however.
"You will excuse me, Mr. Hargrave,
? * but after your threats to me, I must
decline to dance with you."
"You are kind to remind me of
them, Miss Bronson, and if my intention
had been to forget of the past,
your words would have spurred me to
renew the old score."
44I care less than ever for your
threats, sir!" And she turned proudly
away from him.
Stung to the quick, Hargrave sprang
forward, and would have rudely detained
her had not a gentleman come
forward?Arnold Maynard?and inter
"How dare you molest a lady?" he
said. Thee, turning to Ida, he continued:
"It was fortunate I appeared
"By what authority do vou interfere?"
And Hargrave advanced with menacing
"Take that for your answer!" exclaimed
Arnold, violently pushing him
back. "If you were a gentleman, there
would be no need for questioning me."
"You shall hear from me, sir!"
"Not another word; you are too
iv\war.ilv to fitrllt."
Hargrave slunk away, muttering angrily
"What a bragging idiot he is!" cried
Arnold, after he had left "I detest
men of his calibre!"
"He must have sprung from an obscure
stock, for everything about him
is base and iow." * And arm-in-arm
they sought the ball-room, and in the
waiL? lvrgvi. kucn au^'
On the way home it was agreed to
spend a month at Harley Bay, and preparations
were begun on the following
The third day after the reception at
Tell Cottage, the party, consisting of
Ida, Belle, and May, Jesse, Bert, and
Arnold, found themselves domiciled at
Harley Bay, determined on an enjoyable
Having discovered that an old house
upon the cliff was haunted, they resolved
to pay it a visit, and on that
Wn or. f WAAn VlTir* fT lr?W ftTlH
everything was propitious, the party
Ida had takeu a good position upon
a rock high above the ruins, and made
sport of those who were more slow in
But suddenly her voice was hushed,
and, with a frightened look, she pointed
to the extreme end of the building
All eyes were instantly fixed thereon,
and they saw a light moving to and
iro, and a ghostly figure came in sight.
"There is the ghost!" at last stammered
Ida, recovering her voice. "How
kind of him not to keep us waiting!"
This jest, coming at such a grave moment.
produced its effect, and peal after
ueal of laughter followed it.
Bert, struggling to climb higher, lost
* i t-* ^ Ti.J 1 i
uis noia, lumuieu, auu muucu mm a
bruised head among the party.
"This is really alarming," said Belle.
"We had better remained at home.-"
"Oh, it's nothing," answered Bert.
"I was trying to elevate myself, and
had a fall in consequence. Why, where's
Sure enough, the spirit had departed,
and darkness reigned supreme.
"Who will follow me to yon ruins
ouu v;Apiv;;c i to UIUUVU mjownw.
tragically cried Ida.
'Lead on, fair maid, I follow!" cried
Arnold in the same tone.
They descended, and shortly found
themselves in the rains. ...
Bat their courage failed when the
moon veiled its light beneath a clond,
and the hoot of an owl emanated from
"i imns: we naa Deuer aeier our explorations
till to-morrow. We have
not provided for any emergency, and 1
am getting tired of this rambling."
And Belle proclaimed herself exhausted
by the scrambling over the
This was agreed upon, and entering
their carriages, tLe party drove away.
The next morning Ida was up bright
and early, and indulged in a row all
by herself, refusing escort.
"They had to humor her, and gave
themselves up to various pursuits during
When the hour for dinner arrived,
and she had not returned, they began
to grow uneasy.
The gentlemen entered separate
boats and departed in opposite directions,
each hoping to be the fortunate
one in finding the truant.
As hour after hour passed, and none
of the searchers returned, the ladies
were really alarmed; and, add to all,
a severe storm arose, dashing the
waters of the bay into large waves,
which beat the shore with a dull sound.
On the following morning a letter
reached the hotel, throwing some light
upon the matter. It was anonymous,
and suggested the idea of Ida, and also
of Jesse, could be accounted for only
in one way?that of an elopement
' This was written by Eugene Margrave,"
said Belle. "He has striven to
disguise his hand somewhat."
Bert sought the landlord of the hotel
and questioned him.
"Why, yes," stammered the host,
-'such a person as you describe came
here shortly before your arrival, and
made rather pointed enquines about
my expected visitors. He was very
particular, too, about obtaining s close
description of the haunted house."
Thanking him, Bert sought the party
and imparted his new idea to them.
In the afternoon of the same day the
party found themselves in the shadow
of the ruins. Bidding Arnold and a
few others keep a lookout on the outside,
Bert entered the building and
picked his way among the winding
and obstructed passages.
Having reached a dead wall, he discovered
a huge iron door that obstructed
his further progress. It was the
work of but a moment to shatter the
lock with a stone near by, and, wringing
open the door, he" entered and
found himself in a large empty apart
ment, from which several doors iea in
different directions. Ere he could prevent
it, he received a blow on the head,
and some one rushed past him.
Recovering himself, he pursued the
person, only to have a door shut in his
On hearing shouts froin without, and
going to the door by which he had entered,
he saw a man, bearing the figure
of a woman in his arms, running at full
speed through the hall.
in TMTrcrnt* unH PmPT*Orfid
into daylight, only to find the man with
his burden climbing the steep cliff
against which the ruined building had
One glance at the woman convinced
Bert that it was Ida, and that the man
was no other than Hargrave.
He put down his burden, and still
It/il/H-nrr T/4e Kit fVio ?rro YTftr OTfl/Vft
JLUV* VJ vuv ? ??I ? ? - ?
glared upon his'pursuer with malignant
hatred, and the fire of insanity gleaming
in his eyes.
"Save me, Bert!" cried Ida piteous]y,
stretching forth her arms in supplication.
Bert made a step forward, but the
voice of Hargrave arrested him.
"Not a step farther, unless you wish
to see her hurled down this abyss! I
told her my time would come, and it!
has. Advance at your peril!"
His voice was hoarse with ptission, |
and he pushed Ida to the edge of the
precipice, and held her there.
It was an awnu preaicamenr, ana
the sight well-nigh drove Ida's anxious j
friend crazy. But who was that stealing
from rock to rock, and every mo-;
ment creeping nearer and nearer toward
Hargrave and his victim? Yes,
it was Jesse.
Cat-like he moved towards the de- !
sired object, and while Hargrave was
still glaring upon those below, and
holding Ida's insensible form over the i
precipice, he had reached the top, and
in a moment seized Ida. and droDDine*
her gently to the safe portion of the
cliff, clutched Har?rrave by the throat :
and essayed to bring him to tho,
Bert and Arnold now rapidhr made j
their way upward, just in time to save ;
Jesse from being hurled down the J
yawning gtil , and binding Hargrave,
they carried the insensible girl down to
the level ground.
It seems that Hargrave had met Ida
on the bay i:i her bo:it, and. while
seemingly wi hing to s:ty a few words,
had casta handkerchief saturated with
chloroform over her nostrils, and then
secured her without a struggle. When
she recovered she found herself a prisoner
in the haunted ruins.
Jesse, in Ills search, had come across
the empty boat in the neighborhood of
the ruins, an i imagining she had gone
to tliem, h:.d d;?::e likewise, only to
lind himself a pr!>o:ier when be wished
to return to daylight.
The shattering of the lock by tsert
had given him his freedom, and it was
he who had struck Bert, thinking it
Hargrave, who had launteu him with
his capture. He had not discovered
his mistake until he saw Hargrave rush
by him with Ida in his arms, and he
immediately started in pursuit, with
the result described.
Of course, Jesse and Ida were soon
married, and equally, of course, were
"happy ever aft^r."'
. - ?? o*?
A Joke Which Mark Twain Enjoyed.
*'I remember one circumstance of bygone
times with great vividness," said
Jiark Twain recently to a Buffalo audience,
"I arrived here after dark on
a February evening in 1870, with my
wife and a large company of friends,
when I had been a husband twentyx??
\ 1 4.1
iuur nuurs; auu tuuj' wiiu us iu a.
covered sleigh and drove us up and
down and every which way through
all the back streets in Buffalo, until at
last I got ashamed, and said: 'I asked
Mr. Slee to get me a cheap boarding
house, but J didn't mean that he shod! a
stretch economy to the going outside
the state to find it.' The fact was,
there was a practical joke to the fore
which I didn't kuow anything about,
and all this foolinc around was to Sfivo
it time to mature. My father-in-law,
the late Jervis Langdon, whom many
of you will remember, had been clandestinely
spending a fair fortune upon
a house and furniture in Delaware, for
as, and had kept h's secret so well th?j;
I was the only person this side of Niagara
Falls who hadn't found it out
We reached the house at last, about 10
o'clock, and were introduced to a Mrs.
Johnson, the ostensible landlady. I
took a glance around, and then my
opinkra Mr. Slee's Judgment as a
provider of cheap boarding houses for
men who had to work for their living
J 3 i.. T 4. - VJ ^ f
uroppea to zero, i torn mrs. i/uuusuu
that there had been an unfortunate
mistake. Mr. Slee had evidently sup- :
posed I had money, whereas I only
had talent; and so,* by her leave, we
would abide with her a week, and then
she could keep ray trunk and we would
hunt another place. Then a battalion
of ambushed friends and relatives burst
in on us. out of closets and from behind
curtains; the property was deliv- ;
ered over to us, and the joke revealed,
accomuanied with much hilarity. I
Such jokes as these are all too scarce in
a person's life. That was a really ad- I
mirablc joke, for that house was so
complete y equipped in every detaileven
to the house servants and coachman?that
there was nothing to do but j
just sit down and live in it Well, the
house isn't ours now, but we've got the
coaciiman yet All these fifteen years
he has been a living and constant reminder
of that pleasant jest He was
a spruce young stripling then, with
his future all before him. He showed
himself worthy of high good fortune,
and it has fallen richly to his lot?beyond
his most distempered dreams; he's
srot a wife and nine children now. I
would not discriminate; I would not
show partiality; I wish you all the same j
He Forgot to Ask.
. A good story* was told at the Scoville
House, inWaterbury, recently, during
the settlement of a number of election
bets. During the Polk campaign much
interest was taken in Waterbury in the
rpcnlf and nartv strife ran hi?h be
tween Whigs and Democrats. Waterbury
was only a little village at that
time, and it had no railway communications.
It was also before the days of
the telegraph, and a number of politicians
made up a purse and hired Colonel
Richard Welton, proprietor of the
New Haven stage line, to make a special
trip to New Haven and get the returns.
The crowd waited anxiously on the
tavern steps all through the afternoon
of the day*of Colonel Welton's trip,and
when he came in sight, witn norses
smoking from their long drive, he stood
up in his wagon and caUcd to the expectant
"New York's gone 5,000."
"For whom?" arose on every side.
The Colonel jumped from his wagon,
hesitated a moment, scratched his head,
and then blurted out: "Well, 1 swan, I
forgot to ask." i
'ihe feelings of the politicians can be
better imagined than described.?New
The late Gen. Judson Kilpatrick
used to relate this story at his own ex
?- -? ^ AVtnyMin AAmAnf
pdlSe; OUUU 111 LCI IUC auuv/uu^iiiguu
in the newspapers that he had been appointed
Minister to Chili, Gen. Kilpatrick
was met by an old lady who had
known him from childhood, and to
whose bucolic mind the gallant General's
large way of relating some things
had sometimes seemed like exaggeration.
"Wall, Jud," she said, "f hear
you have been called to the ministry.
f/% Kflor it- Vnu'll mnbft a real
WV v ? -- ?
good preacher; but (solemnly), Jud,
you must stop your lying."?N. Y. Tri2wne.
A London lawyer suffered a long
time from lead poisoning before the
doctors discovered that it was owin<*
I to his use of snuff put up" in so-called
tin foil wrappers. According to the
Jieaicac rrcss mere are now on record
thirty-four cases of this kind. Some
; samples of moist snuff contained 2.50
per cent of lead.
... . y.. *
Bill Xye Emits Some Iuteresting Ideas
Regarding- Oar Thought Manufacturer.
This article, writes Bill Nyc to the
San Francisco Argonaut, is designed
more especially for those vertebrates
who are able to keep and use their own
brains. It is not intended for the perusal
of those who simply have a ganglion
or nerve-center which they are
using temporarily until they can afford
r /NTTtQ/? W! fll *
ivia.ii is mure mgun cuuum-?
brain than any other animal. Still,
nearly all animate creation has a trace
of this organ?decreasing, of course, in
intensity downward, from man to the
lower mammals, birds, reptiles, batracliia,
and fishes, till finally all traces of
the brain disappear in the amphioxus
The elephant has the heaviest brain
of any animal. It often weighs as hi?;h
as nine or ten pounds. The whale
come3 next, with a brain that weighs,
perhaps, live pounds. So, great mental
strength is the result of quality,
more than quantity in the matter of
The brain of an adult man weighs, on
an average, forty-eight ounces, while
that of the average aciult woman weighs
forty-four ounces, and yet woman" is
far superior to man mentally. I have
obtained this information from a lady
friend of mine who is thoroughly trustworthy.
The brain is enclosed in a bony sphere
tho sVnll. This bonv envelope
is air-tight. The brain does not have
to be aired, it is in a normal condition.
It .should be kept inside the skull constantly,
and in as compact form as possible,
for when it is otherwise great inconvenience
The parts of the encaphalon, we are
told, are the cerebrum, cerebellum, medulla\
oblongata, pons varolii, obligato,
pianissimo. Anyone wonld think that
. t hrRin with all these things in it would
not feel well, but such is"not the case.
The brain ha< been found upon, microscopic
investigation after death, to contain
not only the foreign microbes and
things named above, but also a cineritious
substance, cranial nerves, motor
oculi, corpus collosum, corpora striata,
tkalmi, tubercula quadregemiiia, staccato.
arbor vitaz, crura, cerebri, and
other foreign substances, which must
^ n on/? TTOf
ilUVC iliauc iiiC ib UU1UVU) MUU jvk
death did not result for many years.
Nothing, however, is so destructive
to brain tissue as daylight Many
have died almost instantly after light
and fresh air were freely admitted into
the brain. The brain is one of the
most useful of all organs, and, therefore,
we should use eveiy precaution to
retain it; for, like the self-cocking re
volver, a man may struggle along for
years without having occasion to use
it, and yet when he does want to use it
he wants it very mucb. We might get
along in society for a longtime without
being called upon for any mental demonstration,
but some day, without any
notice whatever, we might be requested
by our host to express an idea, and
we would feel very much cut up to admif
tViot wa Vtar? lAff. nnr thinker at
home on the piano.
Physicians who have never had much
experience with the brain, never havJnSLAcnsft
of it in thfrir,, Atcn fmnrwlina^
nor studTedrrts'habits in other people,
frequently make an erroneous diagnosis
where a patient is suffering from brain
trouble. I once knew a youn^ doctor,
who has since resigned his lucrative
practice in order to accept a highly responsible
position as chambermaid in a
livery-stable, to make a mistake of that
Kinu. jiae paueui was a vjciuuiiu, nuu
was unconscious at the time the doctor
was called. The latter felt the pulse,
examined the tongue, wrote out three
prescriptions on different drug stores
for medicine to encourage zeal on the
part of the liver, and went away.
The coroner was no expert in cases
cvf that kind, but he went at it on the
theory that the brain had been affected,
and traced up the symptoms till he
showed the jury that it was a case of
quick coupling-pin on the brain- It
seems that the patient had been exposed
at a saloon on A street, and this was
followed in quick succession by coma,
semi-colon, and full stop.
We should take great care of our
brain if we intend to use it It is a
very sensitive organ, and is easily affected
by external influences. Very
little, after all, is known of the location
of various phrenological organs in the
brain. The relation between thought
and the material organ which we call
the brain is a little misty yet. It is not
for the poor, short-lived, and puny man
to know everything. The brain, however,
is a curious organ. It is a good
thing in its place, but entirely useless
when removed from the party to whom
it belongs. We should not overwork
the brain, or strain it in trying to think
of hard words that no one else knows
the meaning of. Neither should we
try to preserve our brains in alcohol
during office hours. Alcohol and gray
matter are always antagonistic. Let
us take good care of our brains and not
wear them out trying to impart information
to those who do not seek it.
Another thing that we should remember
is that the brain weighs abont
twenty times as much as the tongue,
and, therefore, there is no physiological
law which requires us to tell all we
A nf \fn/>h PnAfA^tir?r>.
Speaking of "getting away" with
anything, I don't suppose any citizen is
so well protected?not even William
H. Vanderbilt?as is Jay Gould. He
can tell within five minutes if any part
of his premises, vaults or property arc
being attacked. A special wire communicates
with the nearest police station
between his office and his home in
Forty-seventh and Fifth avenue. The
cnmp remark armlies to his residence at
Irvington. An electric bell in his private
room at either place will notify him
of burglar}'. The special facilities of
the Western Union.give him extraordinary
advantages in this respect. Whenever
he travels, either by rail or yacht,
a spccial secretary, w ho is also an operator,
accompanies him. He carries
additional lengths of wire,and should he
be staying at a hotel a spccial and privnf-o
line nnmmunicates from his anart
ruent to the nearest telegraph office, so
that be he in the South or jSortli he is
in constant communication with the
center of business.?New York Slar.
At a Sunday-school concert in a
town near Boston a picture of the Madonna
was used in the exercises. One
of the little girls asked: "Teacher, is
that the mother of Jesus?" "Yes,'''
replied the teacher. "And is that Jesus?1'
"Yes." "And who is the othI
?1 OH ikT'U,,* it K1X7U?<-?
ur uuv; xuaw is uu wuu. n uai.
the St. John who was up for President?"
The teacher suspects that that
girl hears more political than religious
conversation at her bome.?BostonTranscript
"You would think that a cross-eyed
person would overcome his sensitiveness,
said an oculist, "but he seldom
does.' He broods over it. It grows on
him. TTft imnfrinpi! that evervone he
meets thinks as much about it as he
does, and life often loses all attraction
for him. Did you ever notice a crosseyed
man walk? No? I can tell one
as far as I can see him. It imparts to
his gait a eerfain movement peculiar
to the whole class of cross-eyed people.
But it is not altogether bashfnlness
wuicii causes mm tu ;tvwu. luumug n
person squarely in the face. If he retained
the power of sight in each of his
crooked eyes, as is often the case, it
would do him no good to look the ordinary
way. He would be very likely to
tniss the object altogether. The lines
of his vision would probably cross a
foot or so before the object "was fully
comprehended, and all he * would see
would be the faint and shadowy out4-V*a
XIUW U1 tA P<J.LL \JL caia Wi tuv v* c*
The place where the face ought
fi&'be would be a dismal blank. Many
bifebfc features are ruined by this fearfiSfmisfortune.
Some sensitive victims
never pluck up courage enough to marA.
They often become selfish misanTOropes,
grow stingy, and leave a fortune
for a horde of straight-eyed relatives
who tolly ignored them while they
were alive to fight over. Others, with
that natural yearning for the love and
ormnotliTr nrViirtVi oro Olmncf 11711 X-PTSflllv
TTUIVU WAV MULWVWV MM*.
denied cross-eyed men, take what they
can get in the matrimonial market.
They spring at the very first chance
which offers. Thus often a soulful, but
cross-eyed, lesthete finds himself joined
tfca loving, but unsympathetic, helpmeet,
whose ambition never rises above
the kitchen or the laundry. He loses
his hopes, descends to the level of his
mate, and what might have been a talented
career is ended on a large box in
front of the corner grocery in retailing
neighborhood gossip. Occasionally
you find a man with sufficient strength
of mind to live down the malign effects
of strabismus and come out "a victor.
When once a man has . overcome his
diffidence he becomes as bold as a scwing-machine
agent. When he is courageous
enough i ~ !ook a woman obliquely
in the face without stammering
an apology for having been born he
can fairly be said to be superior to his
misfortune. Such a man would make a
heroic soldier. Unfortunately, there
are few who can do this. The ordinary
man melts under the affliction like a
cake of ice in a July sun.'1?New York
,r Very Old Crockery. !
- ____ I
Mre. Henry Winship, of this city, has!
i remarkable collection of antique:
crockery, all handed down through the'
Winship family. The most antique is
a marble butter plate, nobody knows!
how-many years old, but its age must
be quite respectable, because Jur. Lyon\
says marble dishes were the first
"crockery" ever used in England. The',
nlate is of dark, variegated marble::
part of the edge has been broken off;
and restoration has never been attempt-;
ed; it is marvelously clean-cut ;
"Those old Englishmen," said Mrs.
Winship, 4'ate off marble, but our Rev-'
olut?*Ary fathers in their diee__dis--'
bark dishes, which were burned after
A teacup and a saucer, blue save for
nn interval of white and a checked
border, are among the choicest of the
legitimate crockery. They were used
by Mr. Winship's great-grandmother,
and are at least 200 years old. They
have been preserved with religious
care. A decorated bowl is one of the
same set. A tea-set of pictured blue,
used in the family seventy-five years
ago, is also a treasure.
A water-pitcher with decorations of
ninl- tint ic nnt nnito cn nlrl Vint liao AO
-? 1?? 1 ?~ ?
remarkable a history. Thirty-eight
years ago Mrs. Winship dropped it
down the well. It probably lodged,
under a ledge of rock, for during these
many years it has not been injured
save for a few slight nicks. Its glaze
is nearly as good as when it was lost?
a commentary upon the impenetrability
of the material. It was accidentally
ished up, a few days ago, while search
was being made for one of the buckets.
But what shall we think of a punch
tumbler over 200 years of age? it resembles
in size the loving cups of our
German friends, and is incrusted with
designs of mated birds?of necessity of
English manufacture. In it probably
much punch was mixed in the golden'
days of long ago. It- is whole; not a'
nick or a mark is visible. It comes!
down through the Winship family. A
fine large crockery cider mug is also
down at 75 years of age. It is em-,
blazoned with a butcher's coat of arms.
?Hartford Evening Post. '
At the Rink.
"Anddon't yon skate, little girl?" he
asked, as be ?'..t down beside her.
"O, no, sir."
"But you can learn."
"I guess I could, but I don't want
"And do you come here just to watch
"O, no?I come to watch Mrs. R."
"She's papa's second wife. He don't
want her to come, but she will do it."
"And why do you watch her?"
"Well, papa wanted her to promise
that she wouldn't. lean on anybody
>V litJLl SUC w ciCS oouiuj.ug mui cui, auu
that she wouldn't flirt when she was
resting, but she wouldn't promise, and
so I came to watch her. These short
marks are when she leans, and these
longs ones when she flirts.""
"And you show them all to your
"Yes, and he dates them and puts
them away, and by and by we'll have
enough to get a divorce on and marry
somebody who can't skate."
A Ghastly Scarf-Pin.
A harmless yet ghastly scarf-pin is a
mechanical skull of enameled gold with
a moveable under jaw, and diamonds
set back in its hollow sockets for eyes.
The skull is worked by a current of
electricity generated by a little battery
carried in the pocket, and transmitted
over wires no heavier than strands of
thread. Pressing upon a button which
completes the electric circuit, the teeth
rattle. They are made in Paris and
are worth $100. The price is rather
steep, but the ornament has to be very
carefully and nicely adjusted, and it is
made of platinum and the best of gold;
besides, the diamonds alone are of
some value. No cheap counterfeits
have yet been made.
In some villages in Colorado,Kansas,
and New Mexico, where sand is sprinkled
over uat;er to dry the ink, it is said
the natives would not know what blotting-paper
was were it not for the insurance
An Inventor's Dilemma.
In a ground floor room in one of the 1
lar<re public buildings of London sat a
man writing at a table covered with
papers. He was a short, stronglybuilt
figure, with a prominent nose,
and a face hard and massive as a granite
statue, and wearing the set look
peculiar to men who have surmounted
great perils. Few, indeed, had more
practice in both than this man, for he
was no other than the Duke of Wellington,
and his crowning victory at
Waterloo was still but a few years
There was a tinkling of a bell outside,
and then a murmur of voices in
the ante-room; but the duke never
raised his head from his writing, and
even when his secretary entered and
"If it please your grace, that man
with the bullet-proof breastplate has
called again, and wishes very much to
see your gracc for a moment."
The duke's face darkened, as well it
might, for the man in question was the
most pertinacious bore whom he had
ever encountered. The bullet-proof
cuirass was his own invention, and he
never lost a chance of declaring that
the safety of the whole British army
depended upon its instant adoption of
this "unparalleled discovery," which
he carried about him and exhibited at
all times and in all places.
Had this been all, he would soon
have been disposed of; but, unluckily,
he had contrived to interest one or two
of the duke's personal friends and to
get from them letters of recommendation
which even Wellington could not
easily disregard. Something must
clearly be done, however; for although
the fellow had hitherto been kept at
bay, he was evidently determined to
give the duke no peace tin me matter
had been fully gone into.
For a moment Wellington looked so
grim that the secretary began to hope
for the order which he would gladly
have obeyed, viz., to kick the inventor
into the street forthwith.
"Show him in," said he, briefly.
The observant secretary noted both
the tone and the smile thai accompanied
it; an,d he inwardly decided that it
would have been better for t:iat inventor
if he had not insisted on seeing
In came the great discoverer?a tall,
slouching, shabby, slightly red-nosed
man, with a would-be jaunty air, which
gave way a little, however, 'before the
"Iron Duke's" penetrating glance.
"I am glad to think that your grace
appreciates the merits of my invention,"
said he, in a patronizing tone.
"They are, indeed, too important to
be undervalued Tby any great commander.
Your grace cannot fail to remember
the great havoc made by your gallant
troops at Waterloo among the
French cuirassiers, whose breastplates
were not bullet-proof; whereas, if?"
"Have you got the thing with you?"
"The inventor unwrapped a very
short looking cuirass of polished steel,
and was just beginning a long lecturc
uoon its merits, when the duke cut him
short by asking,?
"Are"vou quite sure that it is bulletproof?1'"
"Quite sure, your grace."
"Put it on. then, and <ro stand in th^t.
corner."" ?1 ? ^''
The other wonderingly obeyed.
"Mr. Temple," shouted Wellington
to his secretary, "tell the sentry outside
to load with ball cartridge, and
come in here to test this cuirass. Quick,
rrl> cn/>rnfow ixroc
JJUW *jci:v^rv. cuvit^u cvvi wui j n uot
the inventor was quicker still. The
moment lie realized that he had been
set up there on purpose to be fired at,
and to be s. ot dead on the spot if his
cuirass turned out not to be bulletproof
after all, he leaped headlong
through the open window with a yell
worthy of a Blackfoot Indian, and
darted like a rocket across the courtyard,
vanishing through tiic outer gateway;
nor did tiir Ouke of Wellington,
from that day fonh, ever see or hear
of him again.
Bath-Jtooms in Farm-Houses.
Not many farm-houses, writes a correspondent
of the Boston Journal, have
a convenient bathvoon*, nor is it convenient
to arrange one in many old
houses without more expense than the
nwiitr or tenant: is willinrr to exnfind.
Shall I tell you how one house is arranged,
not far from where I am writing.
The house was so small for the
family that there was no room to spare
for a bathroom, but it fortunately had
a good large kitchen. Upon one side
of this kitchen stands the bath-tub,
cased in with pine boards. Above this
casing is a movable board six or eight
inches wide, and the whole is covered
by a smoothly-planed hardwood board
or boards, hung by hinges against the
wall. "When the board is letdown over
the tub it forms a kitchen table about
seven feet long and about four feet
wide, and those not in the secret would
not suspect what is beneath it When
the table is turned up and the movable
boards taken out the bathing-tub is of
^rvn-eoriienf- Vinio-Vif A ninfi OarriftS
the water off t&rough the same channel
that takes it from the kitchen sink.
Here, by the kitchen fire, the members
of the family can take their bath before
retiring for the night, and the delight
of the younger children at a tub in
winch they can lie down ana spiasn to
their heart's content is, as their mother
assures me, something worth witnessing,
and after the children are ofi
to bed the older members pay their
tribute to cleanliness. The same lady
assures me that the great kitchen table
is as handy as two smaller ones T would
be. Of course, this is not as convenient
as the regular bath-room, where
the latter can be kept at comfortable
temperature, but we cannot all have
new houses with all the modem improvements,
and if we can afford to
make our old ones more convenient for
fchnsf> who hriTfi to do the work therein.
let us do so. The making of the house
comfortable for those who spend their
days in it should be a part of our everyday
work, as much as the fixing up of
barns ana otner buildings.
There is a story about a doctor who
was recently called to a fashionable
lady at 2 o'clock in the morning, and
astonished his patient by asking her,
after a brief examination, "whether she
had made her will. He then asked her
to send for a lawyer, and perhaps also
her pastor. "Must I die?" asked the
lady. "I am afraid so/1 was the an
swer. "How much time do you give
me?" asked the lady in despair.
"Well," said the doctor, "if you treat
your family and yourself as you do now
there's no telling what will happen.
If you sleep when you ought to and use
your judgment, you may be good for
thirty years more."?Boston Beacon.
Washington, D. C., has a "teacherof
memory, who claims that in a few
lessons he will enable one to memorize
iiia most difficult things without effort.
"MAD" ANTHONY WAYNE.
Insubordination in the Revolution ? How
Wayne Disobeyed Lafayette.
The dreadful drama of the Revolution
cottc Hi* C.in rivnnfi Commercial
Gazette, was entering upon the last act,
in the spring of 1781, though the footsore
and ragged continentals knew it
not. The final storm-burst was entering
in Virginia. Lafayette, in the command
of the Virginia 'army, was compelled
to evacuate Richmond before
the advance of Cornwallis; and Arnold,
the traitor, at the head of 2,500 men,
was marching to reinforce the confident
Meanwhile Gen. Wayne was enroute
from Pennsylvania to join Gen. Greene
?? flrn Porrtlinoo "Rnt. Wsshincrtnn had
ordered Wayne to aid Lafayette, should
the latter need reinforcements in his
resistance to Cornwallis. Lafayette's
troops were in a dispirited and disorderly
condition upon the retreat, and
Cornwallis knew it In writing of the
pursuit the duke said: "The ooy can
not escape me."
This "boyhood" of the brave young
Frenchman was a source of ridicule
among British officers, and of jealousy
araonw the continentals. Of the latter,
Gen. Wayne was a conspicuous instance.
His reputation, rank, and
violent temper made him intolerant,
and he never failed to give expression
to CIS opinions in uumeaaureu tcxiua.
Wayne was but a day's march from
Lafayette when he received an order
from the latter to join and co-operate
with him, indicating therein the route
Wayne's army should take, and the
point where the forces should become
Upon reaching the designated point,
Lafayette was surprised not to meek
Wayne or receive any word from him.
This delayed Lafayette's movements
and filled his mind with apprehension.
The marquis thereupon sent his aidde-camp,
Maj. Anderson, to urge Gen.
Wayne to march with all haste. (This
officer was Maj. Richard Clough Anderson,
aid-de-camp to Lafayette, the
father of Maj. Anderson, of Fort Sumter
memory, and the late Larz Anderson,
Esq., of Cincinnati.)
Maj. Anderson found Wayne in
camp, and received from him an ungracious
promise to move up. At the
end of three days Lafayette^ learning
that Wayne was not advancing, again
sent Maj. Anderson with a peremptory
order to join him by forced marches;
and Maj. Anderson was instructed to
remain with Wayne, and to send forward
hourly dispatches to his chief until
the troops should arrive at camp.
When Anderson reached Wavne on
his second mission he found that Gen.
Wayne had moved but four miles from
his former headquarters. Upon entering
the room that served as the adjutant's
office, Maj. Anderson saluted
Gen. Wayne and his staff; then, asking
for pen, ink, and paper, sat down as if
to write. Looking up to Wayne, whose
curiosity had been excited by this proceeding,
he told the general that he
had been sent by the Marquis de
Lafayette to report the order of his advance,
and that as he was about to for
W HI U U1C U.:u U1 line 1X\JHiijr uuptvuw
required of him-he desired to know
what should be the nature of the report.
"Wayne was amazed" at the con- .
he asked the aid-dc-camp: - "Do you
mean toinsultme?" - ' '
Anderson denied, having any such intention,
but said that in course of duty
he carried the commands of a superior
officer. Wayne's voice, which had been
husky and choked with passion, now
broke forth: "Superior! superior! Do
you call any damned foreigner, anybody,
my superior." He then poured
forth a torrent of oaths and imprecations
upon all foreigners, not sparing
Anderson himself, for having associated
himself with 4'the fortune-seeking
Frenchman/*'' He became more vehe
ment as he lashed himself into a fury,
striding up and down the room, stamping
his feet in a paroxysm of rage. It
was the indulgence of these furious
outbursts of temper, and not his well
known rashness in battle, that gave
him the nickname of "Mad Anthony.
The account says that Wayne,!
fatigued by his violent actions and the
vehemence of his passions, gradually
subsided into gentleness of action. But
any reference to the object of Anderson's
mission led to a repetition of the
passionate outburst. An officer succeeded
at last in turning the conversa-:
tion from the dangerous topic.
ITT , , ? Kj 1*
vv ayne naving expressed mmseu.
confident of ultimate sucecss, Maj. Anderson
gave expression to his own
gloomy forebodings. Pressed for his
reasons by Gen. Wayne, Anderson replied
that as the only hope of success
against a formidable foe lay in voluntary
union and subordination, the ex-,
ample he had witnessed that day of an
officer high in rank, and of distin-,
^uished services, refusing to obey orders
of a superior officer deprived him of
the hope of useful or permanent success.
"Gen. Wayne," said Maj. Anderson,
"I look to you to remove these apprehensions."
This arraignment of Wayne's course
seemed about to produce another
storm-burst of passion; but Wayne was,
though envious and excitable, a true
patriot and soldier, and with almost
the same heat with which he had reused
to obey Lafayette he cried out:
"Tell him I'll jine him! Tell him I'll
jine him! By G?d, tell him I'll jine
^ ? m
Poe and Stoddard.
"O, yes, I knew Edgar E. Poe," said
Richard H. Stoddard, the poet, to me
the other evening at a reception; "in
fact I had a little business with him
I asked him how it was, and he said:
"I was a young fellow ami had begun
to dabble in verso a little, and I wrote
an 'Ode for a Grecian Flute' and sent it
to the Broadway Journal, of which Poe
was then editor. After waiting awhile
I called around to sec about it. Poe
was not there; they said he was ill at
home. I got the address, and after
awhile found him at his house on Amity
street?him and Virginia, his heartbroken
cousin-wife. Poe received me
kindly and told me my poem was
accepted and would appear. I waited
and waited. Finally, impatient,I went
around to the oilice. Poe was asleep in
the editorial chair. I waited awhile
for him, and then gently awoke bim.
He glared at me and said, madly, 'Who
' 'My name is Stoddard,'J said, 'l
wrote the Ode to a Grecian Flute.'
" 'You are a" liar,' he shouted. 'You
never wrote it! Get out of here or I'll
kick you down stairs!'
"I was too much astonished to protest
I got out. Afterwards I found
that he thought he recognized it as a
European production, and fancied I
was tryingto palm off a fraud on him."
?Nan York Letter.
TV IT AND HUMOR.
"There are good and bad points about
this coflee," said the boarder, in a judicial
tone. '-The good point is that
there is no chicory in it: the bad that
there is no cofi'ee in it."
A household magazine says that"very
nice codfish balls are made by cutting
a codfish up fine," etc. We "supposed
that nice codfish balls were made by
cutting a picce of liver up fine, etc. It
seems like a queer notion to put codfish
in codfish balls.?Xorristown Eerald.
An agricultural paper contains an
article entitled "How to' Preserve
Sheep-Felts." The recipe may be the
best known, but we shouldn't think a
sheep-pelt preserved would be very
pleasant eating. Preserved quinces,
peaches, aud plums are good enough
for us.?Korristown Herald.
A man has just died iu New York
who, on his death-bed, confessed to
having murdered an organ grinder
twenty years ago. Why he kept the
matter so long secret it is difficult to
imagine. He would have be&x president
if he had made.it. known. Some
men never know when they are in luck.
Stockholder in Texas railroad (to
president of the same)?Anything enf?rinrorrin(r
nffor in fhfi wftT of TYTOS
pects? President (enthusiastically)
?Everything, sir, everything. The
future is most promising. I have just
borrowed our July interest on unexpectedly
favorable terms.?Boston Beeord.
He was at breakfast wrestling with a
piece of remarkably tough veaL His
wife said to him: ''You always say
there is something to be thankful for in
everything. I guess vou'd be troubled
in this instance." "jSot at all," herecnnnrtod
cf-nrmin cr tn hrPflfcTif?_ "T was
iust thinking how grateful we should
bo that we met it when it was young."
A physician advises everybody to
ascertain what diseases have carried off
his ancestors, with a view to guarding
himself; but suppose a man finds that
his great-great-grandfather was drowned
at sea, his great-grandfather took
poiso", his grandfather was hanged,
and h;s father was elected Vice-Presi
dent, what is ne going to ao.*?aosion
"How much for candy?" asked a
little boy. "Six sticks for five cents,
eh? Now lem'me see; six sticks for
five cents, five for four cents, four for
three cents, three for two cents, two
for one cent, and one for nothing. Pll
take one stick, mister." He got it, but
the dealer is still in a state of bewilderment
and can't see how that can be.?
He had been run over in crossing the
streets, and his family surrounded his
bedside. "Poor John!"' sobbed his
heartbroken wife. "Have you any
wish to make?" The man shook his
head. "My poor husband!" repeated
his wife. "I'll see that your grave is
kept watered." "No you don't," es>
claimed the dying man; "no water on
(hie) my grave."?New York Graphic.
t ?. tt -i,:
in li certain cuvvii in jcw
a minister being on trial for a grave
offence, one of bis brethren was so anxious
to clear him that he said to the
Judge, "May it please YoUr.Bonor,
I hag* a dream last nighty aad saw two_
beliot guilty." "Voiy^qod," returned
the Judge:" "cause them to appear as
witnesses and I'll swear " them. ?Ear- ,
per's Bazar. .*
One day last week we accompanied
a friend to supper at the Barnes House,
'and when about to enter the diningroom
the old handle who presides over
that hostelry objected to our entering,
and we forgot our religion 'and smote
him upon the cheek, which resulted in
a ease before Justice McMurry entitled
The State of Texas vs. Deed H. Meyer.
t .1 j j ci ^
u uiy lh;u* auu uucu gi auu -wato.?
Albany ( Tex.) Kcios.
A Galveston mendicant was in the
habit of calling at the office of a local
lawyer and receiving a small sum on
account of former acquaintance. Last
week the mendicant called as usual,but
the lawyer said: "I can't assist you any
longer, as I've got a wife now and need
all the money 1 can lay my hands on."
"Well, now that's just coming it a
little too strong. Here you actuary go
and get married at my expense."?
"Just listen to this, Martha!" exclaimed
Mr. Jarphly, who was reading
his evening paper. " "One of the dogs
at the London nrizp. show is valued at
$50,000! Good gracious! That's more
money than I ever expect to be worth
in my life!" "Some dogs are worth
more than others, Jeremiah," quietly
remarked Mrs. Jarphly, and Mr. Jarphly
eyed her for a moment and said
sne need not sit up lor mm tnat evening.?Pittsburg
They do say that it is now the custom
of lovers to send their sweetest messages
on the outside of envelopes, securely
covered from sight by the postage
stamp. Mothers and guardians may
read the main epistle in welcome; the
real persimmon is devoured by the
daughter when she has opportunity to
soak the stamp loose. The rumor that
Congress is to be petitioned to increase
the size of postage stamps Is believed
to rest on a sentimental foundation.?
The Shuttle family sits around the
evening fire and manages to enjoy itself
notwithstanding the rattlino- and slam
ming of the shutters by Ihe wintry
wind. "The English have whipped
those wild Egyptian hordes, I see, said
Job, as he threw down the paper.
"I'm glad of it," rejoined the wife,
"Egyptian mummies will be cheaper
now." "What if they are P Do you
want an Egyptian mummy?" "I want
something that will keep quiet when
I'm trying to count the stitches on this
worsted shawl."?Hartford Post.
While digging a well in Rome, Ga., a
workman found, at the depth of sixtyfour
feet down in the bowels of the '
earth, a petrified oyster. A legend
exists to the effect that a church-supper
held in Rome twenty-five years ago
was almost a failure on account of its
oyster escaping from- a back window
and talcing to the woods. It is sapposed
that this petrified bivalve is the
missing oyster. We suspect it was recognized
by a mole between its shoulderblades.
The oyster must have been
terribly frightened to burrow so deep
into the earth.?Norristown Herald.
Some of the researches lately made
by English explorers in regard to deepsea
beds have led to the belief that
there are no rough ridges, abrupt
_V - - .?- -- ? 1? - ~ AW/) 1* ? ! <r fV /\
cnasnis cur u;uc luu^, anu.
sea bottom at great depths is not affected
by currents or streams?even by
those of the magnitude of the Gulf
stream?its general appearance rather
resembling that of the American prairies,
and it is everywhere covered by a
kind of mud.
Less than seventy years ago death
was the penalty for more uian 200
crimes in England