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He Is a W riter of Clever Epigrams and Here Are Some of Them ., " flSjw n ML I S ' LEWIS ALLEN BROWNE The must intelligent people in the world are our admin rs. The miser .suffers through what he has failed to hoard. Few interpret the law without corrupting it. The few criminals who escape detection, do so by firing mankind credit for more cleverness that the average person believes it to possess. The cleverest men of the Stone Age were the rich est. Tunes have not changed. Shopping by telephone is first aid to the high cost of firing. Out oi debt out of trouble. The man who remains silent is never as sorry as the chatterbox. When the honest working people cease trying to live like the idle rich, the high cost of living will be largely ercome. Th wife who is cold to her husband is a fool if she th ka he is going to freeze. Ftlth, Hope, Charity the scarcest of these i Char it . It v lies were automobiles beggars would still be pleadir. for gasoline. It a wise mother who knows as much as her daught . Talei t is the art of constant application. who live in glass houses must go down cel lar to drink their private stock. There would be fewer divorces if wives treated tneir h isbandl as well as they treat company. All the world loves a lover especially the instal ment mi best ion never saw a pessimist's friend The Woman who does her own housework has the ervant sin- can get. ahlV ' a reat deal about common leftSC J prob acy because it if tach a rare (piality. sabbanl 1 S Wur! is ,u T tnnK1," tttl nature forgot the hast intelligent arc the first to pass judgment. nrJ! UUt of to hh,w nr own horn. Hire a aent. needs Brothorly LOVc.t mon. than a .M L, tju. wnrid. rcJvination W 123? nextVCd UU 10 luarta,ul gct wonun"'U,ni) Dctw'ii men is convenience, between U1 commodity. X of a hat brings a nightmare oi B b;ll. n.e i,,V(. ( N- 01 ntOQt) is the root of all alimony. When second childhood sows wild oaU the crop seldom matures. The gentle wind that is kind to the shorn lamb is quite as comfortable to the wolf. Umbrellas cover a multitude of absent minded men and a vast army of thieves. Eve thought she was getting something for nothing when she ate the apple hence her daughters love of a bargain. Women do not mind Kipling's "rag and a bone" but they will never forgive him tor allowing them only a "hank of hair." Woman drives a nail like lightning never striking twice in the same place. The "Public" is a large body of people entirely surrounded by politicians. Many a man rushes in and gets married for the same reason that he bids highest at an auction, he is afraid someone else will get it. Man is made of gold dust according to most wives beliefs. Happiness is that time we are going to have to morrow. Woman certainly can hold her tongue if she will use both hands. Once there was a woman who got dressed on time, and met her husband on time but her clock was two hours fast. It isn't woman's fault that one half of the world doesn't know how the other half lives. It's a muddled old world. Bad women are never happy. Good women don't know enough to know they are happy and the men in ignorance are trying to lose their bliss by finding out. The wise woman flatters a man by asking his ad vice. Her wisdom comes in not following it. Between a man's good judgment and a woman's "guess," trust the woman. T EWIS ALLEN BROWNE, of New York, has a gift of putting a great deal of philosophy in a very few words. He has been writing epigrams for years and there seems to be no limit to his supply. Read these; you will enjoy them. A patient man is the noblest work of a nagging wife. The trouble is with excuses that they sound better when we are making them up on the way home than they do when we make them to friend wife. A woman will go through everything to get a man and everything he's got after she does get him. If wives took as much interest in their husbands' business as the husbands take in their meals, the hus bands would soon be millionaires. Knvirontnent has more to do with one's morals than conscience. It takes a tool to love a fool. Women make no protest over a shortage of sugar, but think of the howl that would go up over a shortage of cosmetics. Tolerance is the basis of religion. ( )nly the lazy curse the rich. The distant girl is only a stone's throw away if it s a three-carat stone. It is a short lane that knows no paving graft. Until men develop X-Kay eyes women will be satis Tied that beauty is only skin deep. A great many people repeat in their minds the things they have read, and flatter themselves that the arc thinking. The wise husband not only gives his wife an al lowance, but makes many allowances for her. Many a man kisses his wife before going out to the lodge because he believes in business before pleasure. Man realizes he U growing old by looking at the calender, woman by looking in the mirror. Kisses forced upon us in childhood, given in youth, taken in maturity, bought in old age. living keeps friends; lending loses them. There is no smoke without tire; there is no flirta tion without desire. The woman constantly leaning out oi a window is like an apple hanging over the fence. If all men understood women, all men would be pessimists. The greatest liars in the world are "yes"' and "no." If silence is golden they ought to pav us for at tending the opera. The two most useless things on earth arc uack doctors and coquettes. Woman forgives everything in man except his fail, nre to admire her. Woman figures her age on a banking basis- Jo days to the month. There are four kinds of women, wife, maid, widow and guests at a house party. The eighth wonder of the world is how woman, in removing the shine from her nose, escapes death from face-powder on the lungs. Savages do not dissemble, they hire mourners for the funerals of their relatives. The meanest miser in the world is the man who hoards his kind words. Read much, digest all, believe little. Between a fool and a knave, trust the knave. Love is chaos, marriage chaotic. Money is the fruit of all evil. The perfectly frank suitor remains single. Half the marital troubles result from letting go the tame bird in the hand to clutch at the wild bird in the bush. Hope is life's greatest deceiver. The successful politician regards every enemy as a possible friend and every friend as a possible enemy. Love is the voice of Nature passion the command. Repentance is the sponge that rubs our sins from the Slate of Life. Most epitaphs are good examples of imaginative prose. Tell the average man that he is good and he is secretly surprised. All monarchies are founded on ambition. Virtue is easier defended than reputation. Piety is all too frequently the tag end of a mis spent life. Fast talkers are slow thinkers. Divorce is another exchange rate that has not dropped. An Knglish narrow ou the root is worth nothing on a hotel menu. 2 If it were not for men's deeds and women s mis deeds (and especially vice versa) what would the news papers print? soft answer turneth away no tax collector. The judge who rules strictly in accordance with the law has no love in his heart. The woman who is in love with herself is never mixed up in an alienation suit. Those who used to drown their troubles in alcohol will now smother them with rich foods. Gold needs no passport. Here's another eternal triangle a mouse is afraid of a man, a man is afraid of a woman, a woman is afraid of a mouse.