Newspaper Page Text
WATERBURY EVENING DEMOCRAT, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1895.
Is Ten pora Little c 11 gars cts. 50LD BY ALL, DEALERS. - Xhe Photographic Rifle. r Tha American Nimrod will soon ba cble to decid to a nicety whether his Enn has failed him or not, saya a foreign correspondent Ho ;rcill be able to toll at a glance when he has shot a strolling cowfnstead of the expected bear, or, perchance, riddled one of his hunting friends or a passerby with buckshot. This he will do by simply removing from the gun barrel a small photograph ic apparatus affixed to it Tho German emperor recently introduced the "pho tographic rifle" among his royalguests at Bomingtcn prairie. It proved to bo an immense success in deerstalking. Iu this form of hunting Mho cportsman matches the keenest power of human pa tience, endurance and skill against tho marvelous defensive instincts cf the game. The ewift antlered beauties aro more frequently wounded than killed outright by a ball. In that condition they run many miles, with the hounds and hunts men often following, and even then may escape. The new apparatus adopted by the kaiser shows exactly whero tbo shot took effect, and tbus enables tho hunter to determine whether or not it will pay to follow up the game. ' . The nakod eye may deceive the hunt er, who i3 usually trembling with ex citement. But as the axis of the gmi camera always corresponds with the "sight" it must necessarily reflect tho exact ppot where tho bullet is aimed. The camera opens the moment when tho "sight" is taken and closes with the picture fixed in it a fraction of a second before the firing of tho shot. Tha device is light and easily detachable. The hunt er's breast pocket errves as a dark room for the records of hit; tkill. No Cornolaints of bad efiects ever heard of from chewers of For over 20 years B. L. Tobacco has been the most Popular Chew. Send 6 pauits for Satapla Ptaclca, 2ATJLTLiZ3 CUmUOAh COMPANY, Sweet for S SKETCHES BY M. QUAD After Fifteen Tears. A big inau with shaggy eyebrows and a fighting jaw entered a shoeshop on Michigan avenue, and after looking all around and closely scanning the pro prietor he said : "Ton are not the man who run this shop 15 years ago?" "No." "Are yon his son, brother or any re lation?" "No." . Where i3 the man V ' T-St ?, "Heisdad" - ' "What dead!" "Been dead 14 years. Owe yon any thing?" "No! lowed him something. I owed him the all firedest licking a man ever got, and I came in to give it to him to day I" "Well, you are too late. Why did yon wait so long?" "He was a big fellow and had a bad look to him. I was only a boy when I came in here one day 15 years ago to have a lift put on the heel of my boot. I accidentally upset some of his traps, and he put the lift somewhere else. I told him I'd grow for him, and that's what I've been doing." "Sorry for you," said the shoemaker as he shaved away at a piece of sole leather. "It's a mean trick 1 It's 15 years thrown dead away ! Have his heirs any claim on this shop?" "None whatever. " "And you are not related?" "Not in the least. " "Then I couldn't punch your head on the old account?" "Mercy, no! Might a3 well punch the man next door. " "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see how it can be helped. I suppose I ought to have kept closer track of him. Yon don't want to stand up before me?" "Oh, no! no! no!" "Well, good day. I'd like to give you one punch for the sake of the departed, but I'll let yon off this time!" The Barber Tumbled. A man who appeared to beat least Go, years old and was lame and gray and almost toothless entered a Michigan avenue barber shop the other day and said: "Guess I'll kinder slick up a little for the winter campaign. Guess you may shave me." "See here," said the barber as the old man got seated in the chair. "Let me go ahead and fix you up just as if you were going to get married tonight. " "Say, did anybody tell ye?" whis pered the old man. "No, not exactly. " "But yon tumbled?" "Yes." V "Kinder givo myself away by acting so colty, eh?" "That's it." . "Well, it's coming off tonight, and I suppose I ortcr to fix up a leetle. How old would you judge I am?" "Well, yon sec, you have sort o' gone to eeed by neglecting your appearance. I can fix you so you won't look a day older than than CO." "You kin! How much?" "Well, shaving, hair cutting and dye ing will cost you 1.50. " "Go in ! Put on a little extra dye and call it $2 ! Guess I do look purty old in the face, but ycu fix me up there and I'll throw away this cane, rub up my legs with liniment, and fur the next week I'll jump off a street car without its stopping or break my back trying!" M. Quad in Detroit Free Press. An Unsociable Town. The electric car was running to the exposition grounds at the rate of 15 miles an hour and was about 15 min utes bsbind time, when a man appear ed in the middle of tho track, waving a red handkerchief excitedly. The frightened motbrman brought the car to a sudden halt and yelled : "What in the thunder is tho matter?" "Nothin 'tall," said the man, who was from the rural districts, and had decided to walk to the fair grounds ; "I jest wanted to know the time o' day an how long it'll take me to git to whero the show is!" The motorman, the conductor and seven enraged passengers were about to demolish him, but voices from a dozen blockaded cars in the rear yelled, "Move on!" and the man from the country stepped aside, muttering: "This is thedurndest town I ever did see ! Git mad as creation ef you jest ax 'em the time o' day." Atlanta Con stitution. How It Struck James. Millionaire James, I am making my will. I have been a worldly man all my life, but I have made up my mind to do good with my, wealth, and I am think ing of leaving a large sum of money to found a benevolent institution of some kind. How does it strike you? Poor Relation About how much do you think of leaving for that object? Millionaire About $100,000. Poor Relation with decision) It won't square you, Roger! It won't square you 1 Chicago Tribune. A. D. 1095. "Can any little boy or' girl tell us what one thing particularly showed the benighted condition of our ancestors 100 years ago?" asked the teacher of the primary class in the year 1995.- Every hand in the room went np. "What was it?" she asked. "They had grade crossings in cities," replied tha class in chorus. Chicago Post. :' . ' '. Felicity. "Happy?" murmured the bride. "Ah, yes, I have a good, noble husband, and just think of the number of people I got oven with by not inviting them to my wedding." And there sb,ene in her eyes the strange, terrible light that revealed the woman who did somebody. Detroit Tribune. Ber nrt Bioomen. A well known Washington lady who has become a great bicycle enthusiast intends to take an extensive wheeling trip with her husband. Because of the inconvenience of 6kirts she decided to adopt bloomers, and left her order and measure with the ladies' department of a well known tailor. In answer to a card to "call at her earliest convenience to try on,"" she dropped in the other day. The lady fitter at the time was not in, but the new woman said that didn't make any difference, she would try them on anyhow. She was therefore ushered into tho email dressing joom and tried the pa tience of tho proprietor and cutter, who awaited her appearance, for she was gone a good whiie. When she came out, she was in bloom ers, but not in a very equable frame of mind. Turning to the proprietor, she exclaimed: " "This is a horrid fit. I don't see how you could ha ye made such a botch. I don't know jjst how they ought to be, but I know they are not right. I can scarcely breathe. Where they ought to be tight they are loose and whero they ought to be loose they are tight. " The proprietor looked at the cutter and the cutter looked at the proprietor. Tho proprietor blushed, but the cutter, who was behind the lady's back, smiled and boldly winked at his employer. Then tha proprietor determined on heroic measures. Gently but firmly he said : "My dear madam, if you will kindly return to the dressing room and put them on right side before, I think you will find that they fit all right " Sadly she disappeared behind the cur tain and said never a word. Washing ton Star. An Anecdote of Grady. Many are tho anecdotes of the late Henry W. Grady, and all of them aro interesting. Shortly before his death he extended an invitation to , a newspaper man whom he had never seen to call at his office. When tho journalist entered, Mr. Grady was seated before a window in his private office writing. "Sit down," ho said, and then wrote on for half an hour in silence. His visitor became restless. He seized his hat and said, "Good morning 1" "Sit down," said. Grady. "I'll talk With you in a minute. " The map resumed his seat, but just at that moment another visitor was an nounced and admitted. Seeing that Grady was not alone, he said: "I'll call again when you are more at leisure. " "Stay," said Grady; "this man over here," pointing, to the journalist, "doesn't amount to anything. Just talk away!" . Then the journalist grew hot in the collar, and rising said : "If I don't amount to anything, Mr. Grady, why did you desire this meet ing?" "My dear fellow," replied Mr. Gra dy in his most winning way, "you're too sensitive. Just sit down again. I am perfectly delighted to see you !" And the result of the interview was a remunerative contract to contribute a number of articles to The Constitution. Atlanta Constitution. The Baby Yelled. She got into the car at the corner of Broadway and Fortieth street. She car ried a baby on one arm. On either side within the car ran an unbroken line of newspapers. The line remained unbro ken. She held on to a strap. The baby yolled. The newspapers rustled in disquie tude. The baby yelled. The newspapers trembled. The baby yelled three times in suc cession sharp, ear splitting, terrible. The newspapers were rattled. A voice said," !" She said: "Poor darling, does 'oo always twry when 'oo can't get by a window and look out? Yes, 'oo does." The baby yelled. All the seats were vacated simultane ously. Each seat was by a window. She took one. The newspapers settled down with a rustle of relief. The baby yelled. " . The newspapers shook with astonish ment indignation. The baby yelled. "Thirty-fifth street," sang the con ductor. m All tho newspapers got off. Tho baby yelled. Truth. '-."T- Namiaff No Names. "I don't know what I'm going to do about my memory," said a member of a London club. "I'll have to take some kind of mental gymnastics for it. I'll forget my own name next." "That's easily fixed," was the reply. "How?" "Go over to America and lose a yacht race. People seem to nevr forget then. " Washington Star. JS f ft J.' J Hostess Ob, Mr. Longwynd, I'm so glad I've found yon. I've been search ing for you all over the plaoe. I w&at you to do ma a favor. He Delighted ! Hostess Thanks so much er no body seems inclined to go at all. Would you mind reciting something? Ally Sloper. aiakiss Them Go. jmm I $ 11 A BATTLE OP h6rSES. A FIERCE FIGHT BETWEEN ARMY STEEDS AND WILD ANIMALS. Equine Passloas That Became Flondlsb. When Fnllj Aroused Biderlese Cavalry , Steeds That Showed the Results of Their . Military Training. Just at sundown, and. while we were at supper, a drove of wild horses num bering 88 suddenly emerged from Thatcher's pass and deployed on the lev el ground of the valley. They had made use of the pass to cros3 from Cli max valley, where grass and water might have failed them or horse hunt ers had appeared to give them a fright. They emerged from the pass in single file, led by a spotted stallion whose inane reached almost to his knees and whose tail touched the ground when he was at rest. He wasn't as handsome as some of the drove leaders to be met with in the days of the wild horse, but ho was, yet a king among horses. Of the remainder of the herd about 80 were fine animals. The others would hardly be worth the catching. Three or four were recognized as cavalry horses abandoned on the march, and twice that number had collar marks to prove that they had stampeded from some im migrant train. When clear of the pass, they formed in line and advanced upon us to within a quarter of a mile. We had 75 horses at the lariat pins, and for half an hour we had all wo could do to prevent a stam pede. The wild horses were finally driven down the valley by two mounted men, but they did not seem to have mucli fear of us. On the contrary, the leader of the drove exhibited such tem per that the men feared they would have to shoot him. It was an hour be fore our cavalry horses calmed down in the slightest. Every animal seemed en raged at tho sight of the free herd, and the captain's Kentucky stallion acted as if possessed by a fiend. He had been doubly fastened at the beginning of the exoitement, and later on this proved a fortunate thing. He made the most tre mendous efforts to get free, and when at length he realized the futility of fur ther efforts in that direction he uttered shrill screams of rage and lashed out with his heels till no one dared approach him. All night long he stood on his feet pawing and snorting, and the camp sen tinels reported the wild horses as hang ing about within half a mile of us. Daylight had come, and the sentinels of the night were coming into camp, when the wild horses rushed into view a mile below us. On the instant we discovered them, and while four-fifths of the men were yet under their blank ets the captain's horse uttered a scream which must have been taken as a sig nal. He reared up, shook his head like an angry lion and freed himself of his halter. In the same instant every other horse in the command secured his lib erty. Some pulled up the pins, some workod their heads clear of the straps, and away went the whole drove down the valley. It was not a stampede, as we naturally feared. Even had our ani mals desired to join the ranks of the free they would have been rebuffed. Our horses were bunched, and in a sol id bunch they drove right through the lines of the wild horses and left four of them lying crippled on the grass as they passed. The prairie drove retreated np the valley half a mile and then wheel ed about in a single line. When our drove halted and turned, there was a distance of three-quarters of a mile be tween the combatants. We were ordered to fall in, with a view of advancing up on the wild horses and driving them off, but before we had gotten into line it was too late. The sight was a wonderful one. The two leaders advanced as if they meant to decide the issue by a fight between them, but when within 40 yards of each other they wheeled and returned to their respective lines. Then we wit nessed something which only a cavalry man will credit. Our horses fell into a double line and dressed to the right as perfoctly as if a trooper had occupied each saddle, and while we looked the lines suddenly moved forward on a charge. When they swept past us, the alignment was absolutely perfect, with the captain's horse on the right and leading by about 20 feet. The line of wild horses bent and wavered, but did not break until struck. It was like strik ing a drumhead with a sledge hammer. I believe that fully 40 horses went down under the shock, but all except four were speedily on their feet again. From this on it was a-melee, the whole drove circling around, and each horso biting and kicking and displaying such ferocity as to astonish us. The mob fought past us down the valley and back, and right in front of the camp the climax came. The battle had been rag ing half an hour, when the spotted stal lion hobbled out of it on three legs and bleeding from half a dozen wounds, and that seemed to take the pluck out of his followers. Some ran up the val ley and some down, but of the 88 only 57 got away. When the hottest of it was over, we dashed in and secured a horse here and there, and in this man ner we finally got hold of the last one, which was the captain's. Of tha 75 Only 5 had escaped scot free. Every one of the others had been bitten and kicked, and 12 of them were so crippled as to be worthless. In al most every instance our horses had kick ed off both hind shoes, and in some cases the front ones were gone as well. There were 7 dead and 36 crippled horses on that battlefield when hostili ties ceased, and of the 57 wild horses w'hich made their escape many were limping badly. Before breaking camp we turned to and put an end to the suf ferings of the cripples, and we were not yet in the saddle when a hundred buzzards and a dozen wolves were feast ing on tho bodies. -Detroit Free Press. HOODOO PII.LS cui f jdver Ills, Biliousness, Indl-esUon Headache. LIGHT AND AIRY, The Coquette. Two red lip3 are turning to mj as I stand there in a maze ; Roguish brown eyes seem to woo mo throcgh tho soft Kovcnibcr haze. Ever since I first had met her had I coaxed tho ' vrcyward miss ; Vainly had I tried to get her to bestow on me a kiss. Deaf she was to all my pleading, deaf to every passioned vow ; Hence I wondered that succeeding could re ward my efforts now. Twas no dream tho lips were turning cato mo with gesture coy; In my breast my heart was burning with a thus far unknown joy. Glad at this relenting toward my long made and anxious prayer, Eagerly my head bent forward, meeting naught but empty air. Gono tho hope within me springing, gone tho lips inviting, cool. While I heard the laughter ringing and a voice Bay, 'What a fool!" New Orleans Times-Democrat. ; , , , Not a Tighter. 'How did your great unknown pan out?" asked the sport. "Wo had. to drop him," replied the trainer. . 'that's tho trouble?" "At almost the last minute ho became Incapacitated for work." "How?" "Ho lost his voice." Chicago Post. The Proper Time. Judge "What is the use of appointing a receiver for this corporation? Ther is nothing left to receive. Lawyer Your honor, I will show by numerous cases that it is not customary to appoint a "receiver while there is any- imiig xeic to receive. UrooKlyn IiifOb The Unequal Tariff. A man poor persecuted thing , Relentless tribute pays - -; Upon his drinks, on his cigars, ; On every card he plays. If lovely Mary Jane insists That "woman's rights" shall come, : :, Let man retaliate and put i wf..lv. A tax on chewing gum. -Washington Star. Fearful Moments. Jonley Yes, sir, I was once up in a bal loon with a crazy man. I don't suppose you can even imagine the horror of suoh an experience. Jimley I don't know about that! I've gone up in an elevator with a 6mall boy runnirjg it. Roxbury Gazette. : Very Much Alive. Mr. Henpect (anxiously) Can I bring proceedings in court, Mr. Blackstone, to set aside my wife's will? Lawyer Why, your wife isn't dead, man, is she? Mr. Henpect No. That's just the trou ble. Somerville Journal. . '. - i THE ROAD TO RICHES. There never was a timo in the country's history when tho newspapers were so largely looked to as inciters of trade as tho presont. Salem Gazette. Tho road to poverty is easy to find, but hard to travel. The road to riches is hard to find, but easy to travel if you know how to advertise yourself on the way.--Newspaperdom. The growth of advertising and the in creasing necessity for it develop some very bright work, ko that it is almost a waste of money to advertise unless one advertises cleverly. Printers' Ink. GASTRONOMIC GOSSIP. Mushrooms stewed in cream is a filling dish. Crocodile flesh is said to bo rich and del icate. Fried apples jo well with bacon instead of eggs. Brown "roux" is simply a brown thick ened gravy. Real shark's fin is worth in the market 16 a pound. Celery soup is a valuable soporific lb? convalescents. Hotel Mail. the new must be ( ''- w ' T f I) results. Never, in any recipe, use more than two-thirds as o much Cottolene as you used to use of lard. Never put Cot- j g tolene in a hot pan. .Put it in when cold and heat it with E the pan. Be careful not to burn Cottolene. To test it, add a o drop of water ; if hot enough, g THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY, Chicago, fi rightly used, delights everyone. Get the genuine, sold every- where in tins, with trade-marks ' Cottolene? and steerSfhead in cotton-plant wreath on every tin." Made only by ; o IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMI Tb&i Pl&te Tfoe Best Bicycle On the steering-head of every Columbia 2t ! "3 Vnrvrl nf tbi var' mrtlrt .Ct . Ti. : 1 J i appears, u ii unique, nanasome, w much satisfaction and highest bicycle ever shall equal a Columbia. The greatest bicycle KUAuijr in uic wuuu says $v. New Pries $1QQ H HAHTFOIU BICYCLES, cex; best, sso S60. $50 for boys and girls J sizes. POPE AFG. CO., Hartford, Ccxjr. BRANCH STORES I Dostca, New York, Chicago, j SlifoSLEA - are not necessarily dear things. Yet they become dear to ns because of their goodness. Lorillard's Rose Leaf Cut Plug is not a cheap tobacco. Yet it is cheap. The prudent man smokes it from motives of economy. The extravagant man smakjes it from choice because it's good. When your tobacco dealer asks "What kindl' Say o s 9 e o o : i i 6-cent pack&ga contains two oonce. A Preuiislac Sprig of the Law. j "What course should a lawyer pursue when called on to defend a man whom he knows to bo guilty i" asked tho examiner. The examined scratched his head a mo ment and answered, "Charge him double of course. ' 'Cincinnati Enquirer. Declined. 'Don't give me gas," the patient said. "I fear that if you do And use the kind I get at home You cannot see me through." New York Herald Worse Still. "We hadn't a bit of cut glass in the house When our present girl came to u3." "Indeed!" "But now wo haven't anything else." n Detroit Freo Press. The Discreet Young Man. . "Shall I sing 'Ben Bolt?' " she asked him. j It happened his cpme was Ben He never stepped to answer, But bolted there and then. Sau Francisco, Examiner. shortening, like all other things U riehtlv used if vou wish the best d it will pop. ' Cottolene, when Produce Exchange, N. Y.f 224 State StBoaton.' ! ' ffiof rinrMA.rvl-jn ... j -j Ca- ana indicates enjoyment to the rider. Ao Art C2italo$u of these famous vrheels free ' at any Columbia Agency, or will be mailed for two 2-cent stamps. San Francisco, Providence, Bnffalo. ! Lo'rsSIiril s ill 0:j Standard Bicycle r- world. v.