Newspaper Page Text
Janupy 2, 1S0G. THE WEALTH MAKERS. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS, -j "She's an old friend of mine." "That may be, but don't let her hear you put It in that way." Boston Courier. Hoyt has written a play called "The Satisfied Woman." This must be one of Charley's jokes, or else he doesn't know woman. Boston Courier. Bowlder (excitedly) I tell you, sir, this town Isn't big enough to hold us both. Waugh (calmly) All right When are. you going away? Somer ville Journal. Old Lady Well, here's ten cents for ye; but I should hate to feel that I was encouragin' ye to drink. Tramp I I don't need no encouragement, mum. Judge. "Had an accident on my run to-day," said one gripman to another. "What was it?" "Woman said, 'thank you' to a man that gave her a seat." Wash ington Star. Miss Pert Is Miss Strait Lace cir cumspect? Miss Caustic Circumspect! Why. she won't accompany a young man on the piano without a chaperon. Salem Gazette. ; Miss Gushington How did you feel when you, -found that the ship would surely godown in ten minutes? Capt. ' Salted-! felt for a life preserver. HaneA Bazar. Doctor I hold that bicycle riding tends to make a more active and ath letic people. His Friend Ah! you mean the people who walk and dodge. Philadelphia Record. Doler Are you troubled with the toothache? Moler (in agony) Did you ever know a person to have a toothache without being troubled with it? RoX' bury Gazette. Passer (seizing pickpocket in the act) Here, what are you doing with my watch? Pickpocket Making it useful. You see, a watch is worthless without hands on it Richmond Dispatch. Teacher Now suppose there were five boys going skating, and they had only three pairs of skates; how many boys would have to look on? Boy I know; the two that got the worst of the fight Harper's Round Table. Yeast I wish this restaurant fellow would print his bill of fare in English, so a fellow could tell what he is eating! Crimsonbeak Good gracious! Do you want the fellow to lose all his trade? Yonkers Statesman. SHORT AND SWEET. The call to arms "John, take the baby." Contentment is better than money and just about as scarce. A woman with a silvery laugh often exposes a gold plate in her mouth. An earthnuake ia resnnnsihl for many ground rents that are not col lectable. The editor who "violates no confi dence. in saying," frequently wears a black eye. One form of toothpick is where a den tist allows a person to select his own false tooth. A man is like a razor, becaase you can't tell how sharp he can be until he is strapped. A religion that does not stick to a man doing business, is no good after business hours. A female lace smuggler has been ar rested in New York. By the way, what is female lace? This world is all a etage, but it is a long step from the man of property to the property-man. If a praying machine were invented many would use it if it did not take too much time from business to wind it up. There is no connection between mar riage bells and chestnut bells, although it may be admitted that the former is an old joke. "See here," said a fault-finding hus hand to his wife, " we must have things arranged in this house so that we shall know where everything is kept." "With all my heart," she sweetly answered, "and let us begin with your late hours, my love. I should dearly like to know where they are kept" He lets things run on as usual. , George Washington never told a lie! Just think of it! He never skulked out t . AlA 1 1 . 1 A 1 ui iub uacK. iiuui wueu me mercury was hugging zero, without overcoat or muffler, coming back six hours later, with purpled face and pinched features, and shaking like a donkey engine, to declare in chattering accent, ""I ain't cold one mite." George never did this! What a funny boy George was, wasn't he? Texas Sif tings. L. F. Da vis, Dentist over Rock Is land ticket othce, cor. 11 and 0 street. Bridge and crown work a specialty' Returned for Correction. The following story is told of Lard Robert's first experience with the Dub lin postofflce: "Having taken up his quarters at the Shelbourne hotel, he later on walked up to the postofflce to give instructions about his leters and telegrams. The postofflce dignitary gave him the usual form to fill in, which he did, and signing it 'Roberts, Shel bourne hotel,' handed it back to the clerk, who, after scanning it In a con temptuous way, flung it back to the field marshal, exclaiming, with wither ing sarcasm: 'What d'ye mane wjd this at all? Maybe, perhaps, ye'll "be afther puttin' , your Christian name afore t'other one av ye have one!' " There 1b more Catnrrta In thin sm-tlon of the llonntry than all other diseases )int togetner, and Kmi1" "'e ,8,"t 'ew .vearg was snpioel to be in- i utnuy .yeiirn uui-iiim pro- rmnceu n a incai uieas, anil prewritiou locnl Ineilleu, andly constantly faillnn to cnre with eal treatment, urunonnced It InnuraWlfl. science has proven catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and therefore reanlres mnstitiiMnniii treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cnre, manufactured by F. J, Cheney Co., Toledo, Ohio, Is the only constitutional euro on the market. It Is taken Internally In doses from 10 drops to a teaspoon Inl. It acts directly on the blood and tnnrous surfaces ol the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any ease It falls to cure., Send for cir cular! and testimonials. Address, i F. J. CHKNEY CO.. Toledo. Ohio S BVIU UJ AruaS'BtB, -IV. THE TELL TALE FACE. Emotions of the Mlud 1'lalnlr Indicated by Facial Contortions. Expression is undoubtedly charming, and an immobile countenance not to be desired, yet it Is an open question whether one may be permitted in so ciety to go about wearing a tell-tale face. One should acquire the art of sup pressing, if not of concealing, one's thoughts when they are disagreeable or when they reflect unpleasantly on the company surrounding one. Not to express all one feels, either by look or speech, is a necessary accomplishment among polite people, and the person of training and culture learns to hold much in reserve, to refrain from ejacu lations of surprise or dismay, in short, neither to wear the heart upon the sleeve nor to carry about a tell-tale face. Among the lower orders there is much less self-control of eye and lip than among those who have learned that a cardinal point in good manners is re spect for the rights and feelings of others. One hears the resident of the tenement volubly screaming her com ments on the neighbors, scolding her children in shrill tones with furious gestures and excited and glowing face. Her sister in a higher circle, perhaps equally emotional by nature, restrains herself and holds passion in leash. The repressed manner is decorous rather than vehement, leans toward the calm of the statue rather than to the raving of the tragic actress, is never too pro nounced, is tranquil, gentle, restful, and always self-controlled. Young girls, in the acuteness of their feelings, are apt to express more than is wise by the curl of scornful lips or by swift and exaggerated speech. They tsay iiiurt) than they mean . were their meaning analyzed, and they sometimes regret bitterly, when too late, the im pulsiveness of their censure or of their praise. For the word once gone from us is gone beyond recall, and, like the pebble thrown into the stream, may go on with its widening ripples to all eternity. The too easily moved face grows old much more rapidly than the one which has habitually less play of the muscles. One does not find a smooth, unlined forehead in the woman of forty if from fourteen she has been knotting, wrink ling, and puckering her brow over every trifle, wearing a habitu?l frown, fur rowing perpendicular lines between her eyes, and' drawing deep marks around her upper lip, and in the place which should be invisibly labeled "For dim ples only." Not too much expression, please, if you wish to remain youthful in look and engaging in freshness. It must be added in fairness, how ever, that many facial movements are inherited, peculiar liftings of the eye brows and down-droopings of the lips being characteristic of certain families; and a face does not always lose by the lines of maturity. Only let the pleasant things do the tracery not those which take us at our worst, but those which speak for our best moods. Harper's Bazar. Dr. Mndtlen, Rye, liar, Jiose and Throat diseanes, over Rock Wand ticket office, S. W. cor. 11 and O streets. Glasses accurately adjusted. . Go to 117 So. 10th St. for R. Steamship tickets. ft. and RAM'S HORNS. If some men would give up more, and lay up less, how soon they would be rich. Only when we are determined to do right can we begin to cbunt upon Christ for help. If you have both tracts and bread to give to the hungry, give them the bread first. Many a man who claims that charity begins at home, lets his wife saw the wood. Whoever willingly helps to bear the burden of another, takes a step toward Christ. The Christian should be a man whom people will instinctively seek in time of trouble. The man whose hope is in God may be kept waiting, but he will not be dis appointed. Before we can truly possess anything, we must have the spirit that will enable us to enjoy it. It is not what we give to God, but what we keep from him that keeps us from becoming rich. When people are set on having their own way they don't care how much it is going to cost them. The devil will fight hard to keep the man who has power with God from get ting on his knees. It is only by remembering what God has been that we are willing to trust him for what he would be. It was because Daniel kept his win dows open toward Jerusalem that he had no fear of the lion's den. One of the first marks of backsliding is worldly conformity. We are anxious to please Mrs. Grundy in proportion as we fall in grace. Make Cows Pay. Twenty cows and one Little Giant S Separator will make more butter than 25 cows and no separa tor. Five cows will bring $200 to $300 and one separator will cost $125. Five cows will eat a lot of feed; a separator eats noth ing. Moral: Make the cow business pay by using a sep arator. Send for circulars. P. M. SRAEPLE9, Elgin, 111, ' . - ) .... - ; . : . Throat Paralysis. (from theCgarier-HeralJ, Saginaw, tohh.) It wan publicly talked all over Clare county, Mich., for some time before the lourirr-lleruld st-nt a reporter to Hover to fully in vent it'll te the Coulter matter, lie tlnully went and we publish today his iull report. The Coulters are prominent people, though Mrs. C. in renponne to the iK'tition whether nlie objected to being interviewed, said, "Ortaiuly not." Her story follows: "About 14 years ngo we decided to take up our ubode in Hover und every thing went along smoothly for several years, business tlrogresued and being of a saving temperament we accumulated quite un amount. Our family increased us the years rolled by and we now have 5 children living, the oldest 15, youngest '6, but sickness made its way into our household, and doctor's bills flooded upon us1, until we have nothing left but our home, and these sweet children. Everything went to satisfy the claims of physicians. "About three years ago I had a miser able feeling at the back of my ears, my right haud became paralyzed and the paralysis extended to my arm and throat, and would affect my head and eyes, soimzimes for days 1 would loso my sight, my face was deformed, lifeless us it were, my nose was drawn to one side and I presented u pitiable appearance and never expecting to regain my natural facial expressions. I employed the best physicians that could be procured ex pending thousands of dollars for their services but could not obtain relief. At last, they stated that my case was be yond the reach of medical skill, and that it would be but e short time until theend would come. This certaiuly was not very encouraging to me, but 1 never gave up hope. In connection with receiving the attendance of physicians 1 have tried every medicine known to the nphothe cary but never received any relief until Hr, Williams' I'ink Tills for l'ale People came to my assistance. Before 1 had taken half of the first box the deformity in my face had left me, and before four boxes had been consumed the paralysis had disappeared entirely und much to my surprise i felt like a new woman. I have not taken any medicine since last spring, just, about a year ago and my trouble has not appeared since. I owe my health, my life to Hr. William's Pink Pills. "A short time since my little boy John was afllieted with St. Vitus' Dunce. He could not walk across the room without assistance, in fact he would fall all over himself, but after taking a few boxes of Hr. William's Pink Pills, St. Vitus'dnnee entirely left him, and no trrce of the affliction is left. These Pills are Worth their weight in gold. You may say in this connection that I am willing at any time to muke affipavit as to the truth ol these statements, and furthermore 1 will. answer any -communication concerning my case, as 1 consider it nothing more thnn r ght and just that I should assist suffering humanity." Hr. William's Pink Pills contain nil the elements necessary to give new life und rjchness to the blood and restore shat tered nerves. They are for sale by all druggists, or may be had by mail from Hr. William's Medicine Company, Schen ectady, N. Y., for 50 cents per box, or six boxes for $2.50. . CHAMBERLAIN Commercial College. Tf? Is now offering special inducements to all parties wishing to study Bookkeep ing, Mathematics, Shorthand, Type writing, Penmanship, Latin; Trigenome- try, Commercial and Kailroad Telegra phy. Special attention given to prepara tory work for State University. OCK FACULTY, W. 8. LLEWELLYN, H.A., t Principal Commercial Department. W. e.-CBALBEKLAIN. Principal Shorthand Department and Lec turer on commercial Law. BERT E. BETT8, Official Court Reporter, B. If. TRUE, Principal Tsleirrapky and Railroad Bnel Dens Department!. 1. C- OLSON, Principal Penmanship Department N. C. ABBOTT, Latin, Trigonometry, etc Call or write for special rates during summer months. Lansing Theatre Building, LINCOLN. - - NEBRASKA, Why Pay Interest? Sixty million are paying it to five million. They do not enjoy it, but they suppose it is inevitable. One man knows better. His name is J. W. Bennett, and he has written a book called A Breed of Barren Metal, or Currency and Interest. He shows the absurdity of the old arguments to justify interest; he shows what a blight on human ity interest is; he shows a practi cal and peaceable way of abolishing it. His book is simple enough for a schoolboy to Understand, and yet so scientific and original that statesmen can learn from it. It is a book of 250 large pages, but to reach the millions it is offered at 25 cents postpaid, or in a handsome cloth binding for libraries at 75 cents postpaid. Charles H. Kerr & Company, Publishers 56 Fifth Ave., Chicago. Holiday Itatea via the Route. Burlington December 22, 23, 24, 25 and 31st, and also on January 1st, tickets to points within 200 miles will be on sale at rate of fare and a third. Minimum ralo 50 cents. , Tickets and information at B. 4 M. depot or city office, corner 10th & O St f 1 TOYS TOYS TOYS A NICE LINE AT REASONABLE PRICES. FASCINATORS, SAMPLE LINE. Regular 90c, f 1.00 and f 1.25; this week COC Regular line at 17c, 23c, 85, and 45c; worth from 15 to 20 per cent more. DRESS GOODS. 7 pieces novelty Press Goods, worth 40c, 45c, and 50c; this week 33c yard. 44-inch Storm Serge, regular price 60oj this week 47c yard. 46-inch Storm Serge, regular price 75c; this week , 55c yard. 54-inch Diagonal Storm Serge, ex tra heavy, cheap at 75c; this week 63c yard. i SHOES T I $1.75 Ladies' Kid Button, pointed pat. tip, all solid, this week... ft. 60 pair $2.50 Ladies' Kid Button, pointed pat. tip, white stitching, this week..., $2.20 pair $3.00 Ladies' Kid Button, pointed and square toe, pat. tip, this week... $2.69 pair Our constant aim is to give the best goods at lowest prices. FRED SCHMIDT 92 1 O LINCOLN, - Clubbing List. 1895-96. THE WEALTH MAKERS' ClnliblnK Lint for thin season hua been carefully culled, and only ths best publications are used Our readers can make considerable saving by ordering ail of their reading matter lor the com Inn year, through us. Cash must accompany all orders: and remit tances must be made by lianW Draft, Postofflce Money Order, or Kxpress Order. Where checks upon local Banks are sent, there must be 10 cents added lor exchange. TThe prices quoted below include one year's subscription to The Wealth Maker. Address all orders to THE WEALTH MAKERS, Lincoln, Neb. Old subscribers may take advantage of these offers as well as new subscribers, by paying up back subscription, If behind, and the club rate for the year to come. r. Price, including one year's Nimb or Papbb. gabscription to The W. M. Nonconformist. Indianapoiis w f 1 60 Advocate, Topeka. ....w 1 M) Southern Mercury, Dallas w 1 6 Appeal To Keason, Kansas City,.... w 1 "0 Coming Nation, Tennessee City w 1 20 Prairie Farmer, Ctiicairo w 1 60 Missouri World, Chilllcothe w t 25 Farm, Field Fireside, Chicago w 1 60 Representative ( Donnelly's papr)St.Paul w 1 60 Formers' Tribune, Lies Moines...., w 1 50 Advance. Chicago w 2 H5 American Agricultui alist, New York w i 00 American Bee Journal, Chicago w 1 85 American Gardening. Chicago ...w 1 85 American Poultry Journal, Chicago m 1 45 American Swineherd, Chicago m 1 SO American Bheep Breeder, Chicago m 1 85 Arkansaw Traveler.Uttle Bock 4 Chicago in 1 40 Babyhood, New York m 1 90 Ilabyland, Boston m 1 45 Christian Work. New York...- w 3 70 Cosmopolitan, New York m 2 10 Demorest's Magazine, New York m 2 80 Family Story Paper w 3 70 Fireside Companion, New York w 8 35 Forum, New York m 3 60 Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly, N. Y m 8 50 Gleanings in Bee Culture, Medina, Ohio,a-m 1 85 Good Housekeeping, Springfleld, Mass....m 2 70 Uolden Days, Philadelphia.- w 8 35 Harper's Bazaar, New York w 4 80 Harper's Magazine, New York m 4 10 Harper's Weekly, New York w 4 80 Hoard's Diiryman, Ft. Atklnton, Wis w 2 00 Housekeeper, Minneapolis, Minn s-m 1 60 Horseman, Chicago w 8 10 Judge, New York w 6 10 Lite, New York '.. w 5 85 Llppincott's Magazine, Philadelphia m. 8 10 McClure's Magazine, New York in 1 80 National stockman and Farmer w 2 25 North American Review, New York m 6 10 Our Little Men and Women, Boston m 1 85 Our Little Ones and The Nursery.Boston m 1 80 Outlook, New York w 8 60 Outing, New York in 3 35 Phrenological Journal, New York m 2 85 Poultry Chum, De Kalb, III m 1 26 Puck, New York w 6 10 Ram's Horn, Chicago w 2 10 Review of Reviews, New York m 3 10 St. Nicholas. New York m 3 60 Bcientillc American, New York w 8 0 Bcrlbiier's Magazine, New York m 8 60 Hwlne Breeder's Journal, Indlanapolls.Ind -m i tw Texas Sittings, New York The Klnsdom, Minneapolis.... The Arena, Boston Wltneso. New York Yonth's Companion, Boston . 8 60 1 90 8 60 1 90 2 60 It la J ut Wonderful The time th TTiiirnPnriflr "fWnrlnn" fast mail No. 3 make to Ogden, Salt Lake. Butte. Hplrnn. Pnrtlnn.-I &attln San FranciHco and Los Angeles. Tms daily Meteoh has the finest eqnipment j COnnintinir of Piillninn Pnliina nnl I'nhnl. stered TnnrtKt Klponora PVoo llai.)mlr. Chair Cars, aid Diner. For full informa- A.r n J i uon can on v aaareas o. Slbsson, General Ar It, 1044 0 St, or J. T. Mas- tin. i t - i w WE ARE REACHING OUT FOR MORE TRADE With irresistible inducements beyond the whisper of com petition or comparison , :. COME AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. BED COMFORTERS. KEEP WARM. 75o Comforters, full sine...,f .57 11.00 Comforters, full size..,. .79 1.25 Comforters, full size... .98 1.50 Comforters, full size.... 1.28 2.50 Comforters, full size.... 1.97 8.00 Comforters, full size.... 2.45 HANDKERCHIEFS. 100 dozen Ladies' Japanese Silk Embroidered Handkerchief, this week at 8c, 13c, 18c, and 23c each. 100 doz. Gents' Japanese and Brocaded Handkerchiefs at 25c, 35c, 40r, 50o-and 75o. CHILDREN'S SHOES, MISSES' SHOES, LADIES' SHOES, GENTS' AND BOY'S SHOES. St., Opposite Postoff ice, - E d-SsHEWIb, k DENTIST: Second Floor Burr Block. . Teeth on Rubber, Platinum, Gold, Aluminum, and Porcelain Plates. Gold and Porcelain BrldM. and Crown Work. Gold, Porcelain, and Amalgam Fillings. ' Three Cent Column. "For Sale," "Wanted." "For Exchange," an small advertisements for short time, will be charged three Oftits per word for each Insertion. Initials or a number counted as one word. Cash with the order. If you "want" anything or have anything that anybody else "wants," make It known tbrongb this column. It will pay. IRANK I. KAGKII, Attorney-at-Law, RW4 O (Street, Lincoln. Neb. OWIT QHT Attorney-at-Law Tt 1 1jCU1, Rooms 90 and 81 Burr Block, Lincoln, Nebraska, T ANTED Fire and Cyclone Agents, Good pujr. . x. jyi. isiuuAiii, tec y, Lincoln, Neb "lirANTED-Gentlemnn or lady to sell Doble's H Alnmlnum Coffee Eronom zerj fits any coffee pot; saves one-tlilrd the coffee. Arthur ii Dobie k Co., ill Wabaeh Ave., Chicago, 111. , $75 a Month r" fiurutod. Wrila todar. AddrftM P.O. Bot 680H, BosLoa, l DE LAVAL CREAM SEPARATORS Address, for catalogue and particulars. Or Thc Oc Laval StMro Co., Buiw, III. 74 Cortland t Street, New York. TINGLEY & BURKETT. Attorneys-at- Law, , . 1026 O St., Lincoln, Xeb. Collections made and money remitted tame day as collected. Smith Premier Typewriter Is the most simple, most dur able, the easiest to operate and therefore capable of most speed. Send for catalogue and prices. Address, No. 1625 Farnam St., Omaha, PRAIRIE FARM FOR SALE. 162 acres 3 miles south of Lonoke ; all uiider fence ; 15 acres timber, bal ance prairie, of which 30 acres is in cultivation; best quality of prairie land; title perfect, 6 room dwelling good stables, orchard and well, Lon--oke is the county seat; 23 miles east of Little Rock oaLR.iM.RE. Price 12,150. Address, ; W. H. VITION, Lonoke, Ark. L. P. Dayis, Dentist orer Rock bland ticket office,, cor. 11th and O street. Bridge an ji Crown Work a specialty f CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES 'nuts NUTS NUTS f f t t I J t t UNDERWEAR. 20 dozen Gent's Merino Shirts and Drawers, cheap at 40c; this week 20c cacl. 25 dozen Gents' Natural Gray Shirts and Drawers; a bargain at 37c eaclj. BUY A PAIR OF White Blankets THIS WEEK. 13.50 10-4 Wool Blankets...$2.80 6.00 114 Wool Blankets... 4.79 7.00 1 1-4 Wool Blankets... 5.50 8.00 11-4 Wool Blankets... 6.25 25 pairs 10 & 11-4 Grey Biankets, 59c, and 69c pair. J SHOES & BR0., NEBRASKA j An Organ for $5.00 Per Month On these terms you can buy the celebrated KIMBALL organ, highest grade, latest" style, up-to-date, fine stool and book, freight paid, only $63.00 on payments. Write for catalogue and descrip tion. Agents wanted. A. HOSPE, Jr., Omaha, Neb. DO YOU WANT IT? Salesman Wanted In trtrj county, salary or sommlssloa. No fiperlenc, Nsw Tariff Rill glTss unlimited profits, actlye mta ap ply qnlckly statins; salary and territory wssted. Manufacturer, f. U. BoxtiSOS, noiioD, juass. OUR WONDERFUL OFFER. Our grand catalogue, over 350 illustrt tions, agents' latest goods and novelties, 1 writinir nen. fountain attachment. 1 elegant gentleman's watch chain and charm, guaranteed 20 years. lour nam in agent 8 directory i year, an sent, tor 10 cent. Postage 2 cents, EMPIRE NOVELTY CO., 157 TremontSt, BoBton, Mass. World s Fair Highest Award: on our INCUBATOR and BROODbR Combined. 'Old Reliable" kSSft If nu n IMmMd la huttr It villi p tn u 4 xta hi Mail tor ma ku!tn Cslrvr. Adirtm RHiabli Incubator and Bmedr Co. li!t?T'.Tjiiiiif - II Y .JJ JHWWJ""",""i fT festal putney, .ill.