OCR Interpretation

Payne Field zooms. [volume] (Payne Field, West Point, Miss.) 1918-1919, September 04, 1918, Image 4

Image and text provided by Mississippi Department of Archives and History

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/2018270511/1918-09-04/ed-1/seq-4/

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Special Rates
Boys in Uniform
Come here and have a
pleasant time.
• -
-- .-..1
Bell & Buchanan
Soda Fountain
Satisfies, Make it Satisfy You
Okolona, Mississippi
The Harris Hote 1
Uncle Sam’s Boys
W0 i ->«.!> T»0,3£ 5* &5»B3ia® BBSS «a&
bfiowc b aanvo is »j sera < <n>. w«<ev«; t
Never appear at your stage
on time. It is preferable to
saunter nonchalantly up to the
Officer in Charge, say some
forty-five minutes late, drop a
condescending “G’ mornin”;
bum a Lucky Strike from
friend time-keeper (who, of
course, holds his position pri
marily to furnish R. M. A.’s
with cigarettes) ; select a
prominent seat in the instruc
tor’s section of the tower „nd
deposit thereon, with much
gusto, your anatomy. (Note:
At this point be sure and select
some position in which you will
be in everyone’s way—several
trials will show you the place.)
As soon as you are sure that
you have been noticed, glower
ferociously at your instrustor.
demand a ship, appear much
grieved if refused and stalk
away. At this point, it has
been discovered by eminent
authorities, that if you plunge
unrestrainedly into dissipation
at the Post Exchange milk and
cake counter, your instructor
will become repentant and as
sign you a ship.
If the instructor dare sug
gest that you spend the hour
in doing side-slips,by all means
do tail-spins. Make him realize
you know your own business
and that you are as good a
flyer as he ever had the oppor-!
tunity to watch wield a con
trol-lever. Be independent;
notbinor inrrpnsAQ tVio
cy of the flying field more. If
you are sent on a cross-country
to Okolona, land at Gibson, or
if you do land at Okolona,
leave the ship unguarded, call
your girl and talk awhile. No
one at the field would dare
suggest that the ship might be
used while doing this.
Never help put gasoline,
water or oil in the engine. The
mechanic has nothing on earth
to do but wipe off the plane,
check adjustments, carry gas
oline, turn over propellers and
—oh, well—some few hundred
other duties. As soon as you
have decided you have flotVn
enough for the day, leave the
tower without notifying the
stage commander — it would
worry him—retire to your bar
racks and sleep.
Of course you enlisted to
fight in France—not to train in
Mississippi—who could suggest
that you needed any train
ing? You’re a natural flyer.
However, be lenient toward
those in authority, they
haven’t the wonderful and un
canny insight into the future
that you possess, and can’t
conceive the idea of a pilot de
stroying German planes, who
has been unable to destroy
more than eight ships during
the unnecessary training he
receives here.
To cement yourself in the
good graces of everyone adopt
Bolsheviki methods at thefield.
Knock everything and every
body. Do it right. Proverbs
Chapter 9, Verse II, says:
“Woe be unto him that kick
eth, but kicketh not with his
entire soul.” Use this beauti
ful thought as your beacon
light. The mess, hangar
guard, lights out at nine at
night; all these topics can be|
enlarged upon until most any i
one can become an ultra-pro-!
ficient “griper” within two or
three weeks.
Lieutenants T. W. Osborn
and I. E. Elm, ZOOMS repre
sentatives, who flew to Mem
phis, not only placed Payne
Field Zooms before the United
States by way of the Associ
ated Press, but brought down
an airplane near Holly Springs
on the return trip. Lieut. Os
born is officially credited with
the victory (?). It is his first
Speaking of the Aero Supply
Department, we realize that
there have been many worries
in this department, but the
thing that worries us most, and
the thing that we cannot figure
out is why or how a man like
Pvt. l3t cl. John T. Hughes,
Jr., can produce such beautiful
evidence of his work.
It’s an 111 Wind, Etc.
Hokus—Polly Peaches dis
plays poor taste in always go
ing out in a high wind.
Pokus—Yes, but she shows
good form.
s -.anw8aK&&r-s»'ss£aw3«ffistr'a
S3 ____ S*
n .■Win "will "Jiwumre sasmasm.
The War Department an
nounces that the airplane ser
vice will require all the castor
oil for lubricating purposes,
and we have resolved patriot
ically to turn over our share to
the government. — Columbus
Even So!
Go down to the hangars to take
a little flight.
The d—d old mechanic says,
“Machine’s alright.”
You climb a thousand meters
and the engine fails you
You fall and break your
head-rest, and they
give you
Hell for that.
R. M. A Reveille
“Item! Item! New Or
leans Item!”
Girl to Lieut. Ott—“Oh, sir,
you’re a . First Lieutenant,
aren’t you, because you wear
a silver bar?”
Lieut. Morrissey (before Ott
recovers), “Yes, he’s a First
Lieutenant by corrosion.”
Squads Right!
Lieut. C. A. Neff to ZOOMS
representative who is getting
news from the Lieutenant:
Lieut. W. S. Crowe has been
made Inspector-Instructor;
make a humorous story of that
because Lord knows there’s
nothing funny in what he does.
I ve bought two Liberty Bonds
for a shoe-shiner in the past \
few weeks because that darned
drill makes a daily shine nec- j
There Go the Profits
Lieut. Nathanson—“'If you
don’t serve something besides
Hungarian goulash I’m going
to quit giving you the best
parts of the beef.”
Liuet. Stratton (grieved)—|
“Well, if you can’t appreciate
a good customer I’ll quit buy- j
ing meat from the Q. M.”
And the funny part is that
he DID.
What can They Talk About?
Lieut. Neff reports that there j
is so much hot air at the Post
Hospital that a requisition has
been made for five additional
electric fans.
Mistakes We Make
Irate Lady: That attendant
over there doesn’t act as cour- j
teous and obsequious as he;
should. I wish to report him.
Hotel Clerk: Then you’ll
have to write his commanding
officer a letter, madam. He’s
in naval aviation.—Sun-Dial
“What is this volplaning
any way?”
“Sort of a back to the soil
movement, I suppose.”
A m nu/I Av nf Z""1 n w» »-\ T rmrie
prohibits the soldiers from
gambling. Are we going to
send men to France who do
not know what it is to take a
chance ?~Tacoma Daily News.
No danger of this with so
many “Aces” (?) at Payne
Rules for Aviation Poetry
Just spin some airy chatter,
For it really doesn’t matter
That your theme is slightly
lighter than a feather.
You may talk o’ gin, like
But so be your verse is rippling
You can even pull some stuff
about the weather
But no matter what your topic,
Be it cold or be it tropic,
You have got to link it up
with aviation.
Be sure in stanza one or two
To have a clever pun or two
(And maybe knock a Hun or
And make the knock a
stunner, too!) —
You’ll thank me for this bit
of information.
Don’t be afraid to
To a
flop bit, to . . stop . . a . bit
(I always try to set a good ,
1 could keep this poem going
Till the Shannon stopped its
But I’m certain that three j
stanzas will be ample.
M. R. |
Ladies and Gentlemen
Corner Commerce Street and
Jordan Avenue
Everything New!
We Want to See You Again
and Again!
That is why we cannot afford in all we carry to sell
you anything that does not render you your full money’s
worth of service, and that has not our own service
behind it.
By far the vast majority of people who come into our
garage are people who have been there before; some of
them many, many times, simply because they find here
the things for which they ask, from tires, tubes and acces
sories, to practically every article in our stock, and re
ceive with earh purchase an ample, even surplus, money’s
You, too, we believe, will be numbered among our
regular customers, jnce you have let us demonstrate the
service of our goods and ourselves.
Also Ford parts of only Ford make—not the wildcat
manufacture stuff.
To sell you Goods That Prove Their Quality in Ser
vice, is Our Invariable Aim. ,
West Point Motor Car Co.
In Town or Camp
He liable Tailoring
of All KJnd^f
Dry Cleaning, Pressing, Repairing
Payne Field • West Point
Lovell Bros
For Camp and City
We Solicit Your Patronage
West Point, Mississippi

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