The Chippeway herald. [volume], April 01, 1902, Image 7

About The Chippeway herald. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1902-19??

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
HIAWATHA ON THE
LINKS.
HIAWATHA went a-golfing,
Went with gentle Minnehaha,
Where the golfers were a-golfing, ,
Where they swiped the bounding gutty,
Where they sclaffed and where they
foozled.
Where the mighty Auchterlonie,
And the Alacs and the Willies —
Willie Smith and Willie Walker —
And the other famous Willies,
And the Turpies and the Campbells,
And the Foulises were gathered.
Full of zeal, brave Hiawatha
Bought a brassie and a mashie,
Bought a bulger and a Niblick,
Bought a haffy and a driver,
Rolled his sleeves up and his trousers,
Paid a quarter to a caddie,
Winked at smiling Minnehaha,
Winked • and murmured: “Minnie
watch me,
Watch me when I wield my brassie,
Or my mashie or my driver,
Watch me hit the ball and knock it
So blamed far they’ll never find it,
Watch me closely when I swart it,
Watch me knock out Colonel Bogey,
Watch me beat great Auchterlonie —
Auchterlonie —Auchterlonie —
Oh, I wish I could stand here
All day, saying ‘Auchterlonie,’
Not a thing but ‘Auchterlonie;’
For it tickles me to say it—
Tickles me down to the thorax —
Down around my Adam’s apple—
If you don’t believe it, try it —
Just say, ‘Auchterlonie,’ Minnie —-
If you do I know you’ll like it—
Merely murmer ‘Auchterlonie,’
And you’ll never want to quit it.”
“Watch me beat this Auchterlonie
And these various famous Willies:
When I hit the ball I’ll bust it:
Knock it into forty fragments:
Knock the pieces through the bunkers:
Stand aside and let me wiggle—
Give me room to swing me driver:
Hurry, here comes Auchterlonie,
See him coming with his haffy—
Auchterlonie, Auchterlonie,
I can almost seem to sing it:
Watch me now: ? :: ?
Say Minnehaha,
What has happened? Where’dit goto?”
“There it lies right where you put it —
All you hit was terra firma,
Merely hit the ground and doubled
Up as if you’d eaten something
That had griped in the middle.
Auchterlonie’s laughing at you —
There he standsconvulsedwithlaughter,
And the Willies, too, are laughing —
All these various famous Willies —
Standing ’round and laughing at you,
Oh, my noble Hiawatha.”
With a groan the prostrate warrior
Looked and saw; his heart was broken.
And the maiden, kneeling, heard him
As his spirit left him, murmur,
“Auchterlonie, Auchterlonie.”
—Chicago Times-Herald.
GO TO
B. L. FAIRBANKS ®. SOH
“THE BIG STORE”
FOR
Dry Goods,
Groceries,
Hats, Caps,
Boots and Shoes,
Patent Medicines,
Hardware, Crockery
AND
Ready Made Clothing,
? WITH :
All other goods usu
ally kept in a De
partment Store.
B.L.FAIKBANKS ®. SON, White Earth
FIRST CLASS HOTEL.
WHEN PASSING THROUGH
DETROIT, STOP AT THE
EUROPEAN HOTEL
Steam heat and all
Modern Conveniences,
MEALS Served at all Hours.
A SKEOCH, prop., - - Detroit. Minn.
THE CENTRAL
MEAT MARKET.
“Is this a LEG OF MUTTON
*or BEEF I see before me,
The shank toward my hand? Come,
Let me clutch thee; I have thee not
And yet I see thee still. Art thou,
Leg of mutton, sensible of the inward
Craving I feel for thee, or art thou
Placed upon that spit to mock
My hunger?” I’ll endure it no longer,
But will straightway go to
THE CENTRAL MARKET
IT KEEPS
The best the packing houses afford
at all times.
CASH PAID for LIVE STOCK.
E. F. Harris Prop. De tr.it, mi™.
HOTEL LEECY.
RATES sl.oo per day
S OR 4
$4.00 per week.
tr*Livery Sfevble in
John Leecy, prop., Whit e Ea . rt h,
Reid & Wackman.
DEALERS IN
Lumber,
AGRICULTURAL IMPLIMENTS
and BICYCLES.
Heating, Plumbing and Pump
Work Done.
R.EID <S. WACKMAN Detroit, Minn
WHITE EARTH
HEAT MARKET.
A full line of Fresh and Smoked Meats
Consta.rvtly on Hand.
We also carry a selected stock of
Groceries and Canned Goods
Nuts and Fruits in Season.
Cash Pa.id for HIDES a.nd CAME
B. L. FAIRBANKS & SON.
WE
Make it pay you to trade with us.
Are not satisfied with what we have
done. We want to do more business.
Want to make it a pleasure for you to
trade here.
Aim to please and our success shows
that we are doing it.
We want YOUR trade.
John H. Smith Co. Detroit, Minn.