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ii m tjvii!iiiilPiMppi 10 The Commoner. VOLUME 4," NUMBER a. - . im pwwrr'rw-i'!T"- Tlio Road To -Swlfevlllc. There are golden roses that bloom and blow In tho balmy winds and the golden glow To greet and inspire as I gaily go Along the road to Smileville. Tho winds sing sweet In tho leafy trees, And a rich perfume lades the summer breeze, ."While a nectar sweet calls the hum ming bees Along the road to Smileville. There arc shady nooks in the flowered . lane, And a vista clear of the waving grain; .There's a balm for every acho and pain Along the road to Smileville. There are songs to cheer as I wend my way; There are echoes' sweet as the children play; i And tho skies aro blue and my heart is gay Along the road to Smileville. In a cosy cottago on Quiet street. My darlings wait with their kisses sweet, And they run to meet me with flying i'eet Along tho road to Smileville. ' i 'Tls a charming road that is over now, And tho cheery ending is e'er in view; And a lasting welcome is waiting. you .Where ends tho road to Smilovllle. barback on ol' Dobbin 'cross country; I've walked nine miles back an' forth across the woods pasture lot; I've swum the crick eight limes; I shot and scalped three fox squirrels an' a woodchuck; I challenged ol Bill Skeeziks to a wraslin' match an' flung him three times out o' five; I've stacked two ton o' hay, mowed- an acre o' that wet medder, dug nine post holes and nailed up the looso boards on that back cea lot fence, an I wus just wonderin' if th' notification committee hadn't dropped in to tell mo I'd been nominated f'r somethin or other." Rehearsing. "What's the matter with Posticus? He's performing all kinds of queer antics over there by tho wash basin." "He's rehearsing." "Rehearsing what?" ' "His surprise. He was nominated for road overseer last week "and the committee is going to tell him about it today." Th Dally Press. "I have bin readin' the Daily Whooper f'r seventeen year," said Un cle Billy Haicede, speaking to tho city editor, "an' I thought I'd just drap in an' git orqualnted with th' fellors that make it. My father aforo mo took tho Whooper, an' I've took it ever since he died." "Glad to meet you Mr. Haicede," said the city editor'. "Just look around and raako yourself at home." "Thank'eo. I want to see th' feller that writes all them strong articles ag'in th' opposition.. That follor is a wonder, an' I want to shako his hand." "You moan Mr. Dlgdown. That is tho gontleman over there by the desk." "What, is that consumptive, thin, peaked-looking feller th' ono that makes life miserable f'r th' opposi tion?'! "Yes, that is Mr. Dlgdown, the editor-in-chief." "But I thought that fine Iookin' feller all dressed up like a prince or a jook, was th' man that writ all them strong articles." "0, no; that is Mr. Squeesom, tho manager of tho advertising department." Waiting. "Mlrandy," said Mr. Squeedunk, as ho entered tho house, wiping tho pors "poratlon from his brow with ono hand and waving his hat like a fan with the other, "have they como yet?" "Ha3 who como, Abinldab?" asked Mrs. Squeedunk. "That notification committee." "Abinldab SqueedttnK, exclaimed Mrs. Squeedunk in a sharp voice, what on earth are you talkln' about?" "Well, Mlrandy, I've chopped down 'leven big trees an' cut 'em up into cord wood; I'yo rid seventeen miles Trouble. The campaign poet Is steeped in gloom And grasps with a frenzy his hair. Tho candidates names have proven his doom And filled his heart with despair. Ho yearneth in vain for a suitable rhyme t To fit with the candidate Fairbanks, And seoms to bo having a- terrible time With "air tanks' i "share thanlcs," "square pranks," "bare shanks." "fair cranks," ana g ; "square planks.-' He turns him at last with a heart rending moan And tackles tho strong opposition; And find he is groping aweary, alone, And still in an awful condition. He seoketh in vain lor a suitable rhyme To fit with the candidate Davis, And seems to bo having a terrible time With "save us," "brave us," "crave us," "lave us," "cave us," and "shave us." The voters would count It a bountiful gain Well worth their eternal endeavor If poets would loaf in the country's campaign And cease their bad rhyming for ever. But it is too much to be hoping they will; They'll keep up their rhyming eter nal. And columns and columns of space they will fill With rhymes that are really infernal. CoapeBsattea. "This packing house strike is not an unmixed evil," declared Snoresby as he suspended his hat on the usual peg and reached for his office stool. "Well, go on!" exclaimed Gorgely, who was complaining all the timo about his boarding house. "Since the strike and tho resultant elevation of tho price of meat," con tinued S'noresby, "1 am no longer awakened about 5 a. m. by tho coolr pounding a shoulder steak to faake it eat like prime porterhouse." Unplaced. "Is Wicherly a rich man?" "That question puzzles me. He shaves himself, and I dont know whether he does it because he is rich or whether he is too poor to dwn a safety razor.' Strong. 'Bilkins has the strongest will pow er of any man of my acquaintance." "How do you know?" 'He can read a patent medicine ad vertisement without experiencing one of the symptoms described." ound Ve. Spelling "My biggest fish got away." "0, come off! That's the same old gag." Well, it's a fact Had my pocket scales along. It weighed nearly three pounds." " Outre. "That Mrs. Pneurych is really vulgar In her display of wealth." "What has she been doing now?" "Why, at the DeSwell's reception last night she woro a receipt for two pounds- of porterhouse- as a neck ornament." Brain Lo.kJ. Sanctity is not necessarily serious ness. ' Prayer is a petition, not an ulti matum. Do Now is; always envied by Wait Awhile.. ..,'.' - . ; , Unionism is of tho Heart; not of the pocketbook. '" The finest way to grow oia it to forget about it. The sermon that does not make men wince is usually poor stuff. A man never knows how little he can. get along with until he. has to. You'll never get close to God by re maining away from your neighbor. Some men are so anxious to avoid doing wrong that they neglect to do right Did you ever pause and wonder if a woman in summer is as cool as she looks? The "popular novel' is usually tho ono that doesn't sell after the first six montns. We didn't win anything in tho Rose bud lottery;- neither did we lose any sleep over it. Happiness consists largely in ror gettlng the things that are not worth remembering. The husband who Keeps on court ing his wife never complains about an unhappy home. Brag & Bluster may attract atten tion, but Quiet & Quick accumulate the persimmons. About the worst fooled man we know of is the man who says ho "can drink or let it alone." We rather like to hear a man toot ing his own horn, providing he doesn't forever toot in the same key. A man is rich when he is contented with what he has, although ho may not be satisfied with his possessions. ad Once in a whiin -ma ..,.,, , , ..-.- ,, .wu oviusa moiuuuui, wuu is very liberal in a vcrtising his wares ana very eacer conceal his weighs. Every city laborer' envies the Inde- J a 1- to pendent life of tho farmer, and everv farmer's boy rather envies the easy lot of the city workman. There is nothing quite so pitiful as the spectacle of a man who spends all. of his' time preparing for death The wise man devotes himself to prep arations for living. '; Oom Paul. Tn'liis rude rorce, his crart, his fan aticism, his passionate assertion of the-rights of aclass, his intolerance, in 'a' certain savage solitariness of disposition, even in his avarice, Paul Kruger suggested' some English com monwealth's man. "Nearly seventy years ago he trekked across the Vaal. The loneliness of the veldt was in his blood and that of his follow Boers. They were pos sessed by an implacable Independence. ' Their autonomy was overthrown at last, but not until after such a strug gle as shook the power of England and showed these farmers as among tho best fighters, in the world. The patriarchal ruier or the Trans vaal was the orgamzer or that war. The foresight and the secrecy with. which he prepared for the inevitable contest would be sufficient to give him the high rank as a statesman, even if he had displayed no other marks of statesmanship. His unmasking and thwarting of the Jameson raid re vealed the man, swift to act and as Utoioiigh as Strafford. Hi? signed deeds were done at an age which is old ago ror most men. The flame burned inextinguishable in him to the last. He naa a primitive and an original quality, self-sustained. Something of the slyness and patience of Jacob, another pastoral chief, appeared in him. But it is fu tile to find comparisons for the in pomparable. Oom Paul has not left his like behind. . ,. i The rugged old man, smoking his pipe, has long been, a ngure in tho gallery of the imagination. Associated with a hopeless and heroic struggle for freedom, his name is sure of per manent survival. New York -Sun. Curious Coincidences Curloua, coincidences mark the lives of two women who married Dr. A. T. Knox ofBowen, Powell county, Ky. One is dead, the other living with her husband. Both women were named Alice, both removed to Ken tucky when 8 years of age, and each bore him three children. The father of each wife is dead, the mother of each is living and each is named Ann. The parents of each wife had nine children four boys aha five girls each wife has three brothers whose names aro exactly alrae, and each has two sisters whose names are alike. One wife was born in North Carolina and the other in Virginia. 6ne was the eldest of nine children and tho other the youngest of nine children. Three children of Dr. Knox are living and three are dead. The wives were intimate friends. Kansas City Journal. Aged Lsrnrs At Harvard. (Boston Telegram to the Philadelphia Record.? The Harvard summer school has tho distinction of having a group oi students older than any other college can boast of. The oldest is Rev. Ed ward Roblo of Greenland, N. H., eiga-ty-threo years old, who is taking spe cial work in theology. The next old est is Dr. Leonard Wolspy Bacon, a Congregational minister, of Assonet, Mass., whose, lectures have been wioe ly published in America. Dr. Bacou ia sovonty-four years old and w tireless student. The Rev. W. Jf kel, the Rev. Warren Ach, each i aw years obi, complete a quartet, nameu the "Deans.' of tho summer school. , 'I w. ll'!