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If A I 1 iv ,r r. -V •1 1 fil I 11 4 1 p" 1 fc amwemmeemweemewitts^weweiwiwiwiiiwesaBiBsscssesvewtiwaBSwig^mepewewiwiwi1 CHAPTER XXII. The scene that presented itself to Col. Wartlebury and Dr. Mansell on entering the ladies' saloon was very Inexplicable. They could se'e at a glance that something had gone wrong there, but there was no sign of vio lence, nothing to account for the scream. Miss Somers stood in the doorway of her cabin, her plain, benevolent face full of consternation Gertrude, in evening di^ess, stood in the middle of tlio saloon, her hands pressed convul sively to her breast, her eyes staring, her checks pale, her lips still parted As when she uttered that one cry, gaz ing like one horror-stricken at Mr. Law x'ence Soames, who had apparently staggered up against the woodwork of the ship and was leaning there as if for support with, a face no less pale than Gertrude's, and a general appear ance and expression of bewilderment about him. He was the first to recov er himself. "It seems," he said, turn tiebary7-"tbor«is-be£n ing io Cui. votrtte some mistake here." Col. Wartlebury looked at Gertrude for an explanation. "That man," she gasped, "is not— my—husband!" "What!" Dr. Mansell ejaculated. "Oh, what does it all mean?" Miss Somers exclaimed, coming forward as she spoke. "Well, it means," Mr. Soames said sarcastically, shaking himself together and lounging away from the wood work—"it means, so far as I can make it out, that I've got among a set of staring—lunatics." Hereupon Col. Wartlebury Instantly recovered himself also. "I am afraid there has been an unfortunate mis take," he said, with his usual dignified precision. "I think, sir, if you have no •objection, we bad better ask the ladies -to excuse us. I have an explanation to offer you, and an apology to make," with whioh he led the way back to the .great saloon. The scene that followed is indescrib able. Mr. Soames was naturally en raged. At fir§t he thought himself the victim of an elaborate practical joke, and he was not to be ihollified even when he found that his host and the doctor were as much sold as himself, as he phrased it. "Why didn't you ask to see my papers?" he roared at them. This very proper precaution had •never occurred to them, because no •doubt of his identity had ever entered their minds. To do Mr. Lawrence Soames justice, however, after the first outburst of in dignation, and after Col. Wartlebury had sufficiently abased himself, going so far in his anxiety to make amends as to promise the use of his interest in the Consular service or any other branch of the Legislature to him and to his heirs forever. He began to be genial again. He was even immensely tickled when he thought over all that had occurred—the way he had been ,chased from place to place by a lovely lady, carried off in a floating palace inul guarded by an eminent physician, •without once suspecting the object of .all this care and attention! It was all to6 funny, really and when the story •came to be told it was evident that the laugh would be at his expense. And, after all, he had lost nothing by the mistlike. On the contrary, he had made a powerful friend and had had -a very good time. And now if they would be good enough to put him' on shore at Malta he would be able to catch the very steamer on which he had taken his passage for 'Frisco when she touched there, and might go .on his way rejoicing. He was a common-looking fellow, -without the faintest resemblance to Leslie Somers in the face, but he was about the same height his hair was "the same color, and grew in the same way "and he happened to have been wearing much of the same sort of •summer tweed suit all of which, with the circumstance of his leaving Trew -port Station at the time he did, ac counted for the mistake. The difficulty now was how to repair itf The Star Avas, of course, headed home imme diately but what precious time had been lost! Poor Gertrude sat on deck all day long and half the night, with her hands before her, thinking. She •wiis very quiet and very patient, but seemed to dislike being spoken to. Dr. Mansell distracted her a little by read ing to her, while Col. Wartlebury tried to comfort Miss Somers, who was naturally nearly as anxious on her "brother's account as his wife was. On arriving in London the case was at once put into the hands of competent detectives, as all now felt it should have been at first. Gertrude went with Miss Somers to see if anything had jot been heard of her husband at his home or chambers, but both were ,still closed and deserted. I-Iaving done all that there was to be done in London, .she went at once to Trewport to see her boy. She arrived late one afternoon and walked down from the station, leaving her luggage to be sent for, there being no vehicles sent to meet trains frota that primitive place unless specially ordered, a pre caution she had neglected, wishing to .•see how her boy had fared in her ab sence. as she might exactly, if she took the household by surprise. It was a lovely afternoon, but sul itry, and she found all the doors and windows wide open and the sun-blinds ustill drawn. No one appeared to be bout, so she walked into the hall and looked around. It seemed smaller than •when she had last seen it and felt strange. The drawing room door was .ajar nnd she went in there. A gaunt figure sprung from a couch with a iflad cry. ''Gertrude!" -"Leslie!" And in a moment they were locked to each other's arms. And then they Jacked Jil each other, and each found V':' I By SARAH GRAND, Author ol ••THE HEAVENLY,TWINS." the other so sadly changed that both wept and fervently embraced again. Leslie had a foot and hand all band aged and could not stand. "What is it, dear?" she ashed. "The cause of a great deal of misery, I am afraid," he answered, and then he told his story. CHAPTER XXIII. It was Lawrence Soames. she had seen iri the distance walking away from her, for it seemed that after hav ing tied her to the telegraph post that morning Leslie had only wan dered off some two or thre hundred yards or so into the bracken. It was a perfect jungle growth of weed-and fern he could not see what he was setting his feet on, and all at once, to his horror, he vfelt himself slip through. He grasped convulsively at the weeds about him, but they came up by the roots and only served to break his fall—which was something, how ever, as otherwise he must have drop nertji dead. weight some thirty feet or more into a sort of gully or rift in the heath. As It was, he fell heavily enough upon stones in the dry bed of a torrent and became insensible at once. When he cdme to himself it was evening. He was lying on some sheep skins on the floor of a rude hut There was a wood fire in one corner, with a hole in th« roof above It for the smoke to go through. Over the fire stood a creature scarcely human in appear ance, stirring something that simmered in a large pot, with a stick. It was a man apparently, but he was more like a huge monkey. He had short, mis shapen legs, with great depth of chest betokening strength, abnormally long arms, upon which the muscles stood up suggestively, and small, grizzled head looking out of all proportion to the rest of the body, with close-crop ped hair standing up on end all over it, as a monkey's grows. Leslie pxpected to see a hideous face when the crea ture turned, but the face was not hide ous. It was animal beyond a doubt, but with a sensitive, expressive mouth and a pair of soft brown eyes, speak ing and pathetic as a stag's. The ani mal idea was suggested by the short, flat nose and long under lip, while the human being appeared in the whole ex pression of the face, which was gentle and caressing, wanting iri something certainly, but still intelligent, though the intelligence was assuredly not of a high order. There was nothing extra ordinary about his dress, which was such as was worn by many of the poorer shepherds on tjie heath. When he came to himself, the shep herd's back was turned to him as ho tended the pot, and he did not there fore see that Leslie had recovered. "Did you carry me here yourself?" the latter asked. "I think you could carry an ox in those arms of yours.". But the man took no notice. He had evidently not heard "Hi!" Leslie called, with the same re sult. "Stone deaf, I suppose," he mut tered to himself, then tried to rise, but fell back on the skins again with a groan. He thought every bone in his body was broken, and he lay there suffering, not daring to make another effort for some time. At last, however, the mild-eyed mons ter ^urned to look at him, and seeing he was sensible, came forward with a pleased smile, making every sort of pantomimic demonstration of delight, but without uttering a syllable. Leslie shouted at him, and he evidently saw that he had done so, for his counte nance sobered down to the saddest ex pression possible, and he shook his head vehemently, without, however, opening his mouth. Leslie rolled his head despairingly on his sheepskin pil low, and groaned aloud. He had taken' in the situation at a glance. The shep herd was a deaf mute, amiable, igno rant, and semi-imbecile, probably, and he himself was at bis mercy, a help less prisoner, unable to communicate with his jailer at present, and, until he could do so, cut off from his friends. Doubtless they would search for him, and discover him in time, but the thought of his wife's anxiety and sus pense was terrible. He noticed that the day was waning, and for a moment wondered what they were doing not to have found him already, then suddenly he remem bered Gertrude's position when he loft her. She might remain for days tied up on that lonely spot, and never a soul come by that way to rescue her. True, she might be seen by a passing train. Then he thought of the boy, the trains and the boy, and saw all the awful things that could happen, and in an agony of mind struggled to his feet and staggered forward, only, how ever to fall fainting at the first step, and so to lose his one chance of im mediate, deliverance, for while he was still insensible Col.,. Wartlebury's men came across the deaf and dumb shep herd standing at the door of his hut, but not being able to make out any thing, went their way. For several days Leslie lay on that sheepskin bed, unable to move. He had no bones broken, but he was terri bly bruised and shaken, and one ankle was badly dislocated. It was from this that he suffered most. It became swollen and inflamed for want of prop er attention, and the result was fever and delirium doubtless, for time pass ed, he was sure, of which he could render no account to himself. He knew the sun was setting one even ing, and almost immediately after he savr It rising again, yet he had riot slept, and there were mornings when at daylight the shepherd crumbled bread into broth, and gave it to him for breakfast, as was Ms wont before he went to his work, and made tea in the evening directly afterward, as it seemed to Leslie's imagination. His reason, however, warned him that he must have lost all consciousness of time In the Interval. Daring one of his awakenings he found that the Shep herd had brought a sick sheep into the hut to be liursed, and Leslie was amused to see the way he divided his attention between the two. He rather thought himself the favorite patient, but it was difficult to decide, for the uncouth nurse was tenderness Itself to both—too tender, in fact, as far as Leslie was concerned, for the latter began to be sure that the shepherd liked to have him there and was doing his best to hide him, instead of making his presence known or doing anything to enable him to communicate with the village. The very first day he wrote to his wife on a leaf of his pocbetbook, and gave the slip to the shepherd with some money, making signs to him to take both. The shepherd looked first at one, then at the other, as he held them in either band, smiled and went out. Some hours later he returned with fr?sh pro visions, proving that he had been to the village and spent the money. Les-j lie showed him another leaf of his pocbetbook, trying to find out what he had done with the first. The man seemed to understand, for he made a backward gesture over his shoulder toward the door with his thumb nnd nodded several times significantly but what the pantomime signified Leslie could not determine. Eventually, how ever, he became sure that the note had not been delivered. (To be continued.) WHEN SILENCE WAS BEST. Boy F,nrnTpl hy Inciting Hla Parenta Settle the Dispute Themselves. She was angry. The boy had been in trouble again. The boy usually was in trouble of some kind and even a mother's patience wil give out in time. "You're the worst behaved bey in the neighborhood," she said. The boy's father looked up from .his paper as if somewhat astonished, but one glance was sufficient to convince him that he didn't care to get mixed up in th'e affair. "You're always in some kind of a I scrape," she went on. "I don't see why you can't act like other boys." The boy had nothing to say. A boy learns early in life that there are times when there is nothing for him to do but hold his peace and the lesson stands him in good stead later in life, when he marries. "I never heard of Johnny Brown throwing snowballs at the little girls when they are coming home from Sun day school," she continued in earnest tones. "I never see Earlie Odell throw ing stones into the mud puddles to splatter people, and Willie Tucker nev er talks back to his elders or speaks disrespectfully to his mother." "I haven't said a word," protested the boy. "Not to-day," admitted his mother, "but yesterday I was actually ashamed of you because of your impertinence, and to-day I saw you swinging on the Fer rinses' gate when you have been repeatedly told not to, because it pulls off the hinges. You have had a fight with Freddy Jones, too. I'm sure I don't know what to do with you to make you behave properly." This seemed to be an opportune time for the boy's father to chip in, so he suggested: "I quite agree with you, my dear. I think we ought to do something to im prove Georgie's manners. He's too rough and noisy and regardless of the right of others. He seems to have ac quired a reputation as the worst-be haved boy in the neighborhood and "Who says he's the worst behaved boy in the neighborhood?" demanded his mother promptly. "It was proba bly that man Odell that you go down with in the morning, and I want to say right now that his Earlie is as bad as two of our Georgie. Or maybe the Browns have been talking. If our Georgie was as rough and unmannerly as their Johnny they would have rea son to talk and you can tell Mr. Brown so the next time you see him. Worst behaved boy in the neighborhood! Well, I'd just like to have somebody try to tell me that." And the wise Georgie said never a word.—New York Times. BACK TO THE FARM. Conditions Becoming More Favorable for Life in the Country. One of the most serious problems that confront the economic world to day is to keep the young men on the farms, r.iys the Lewiston (Me.) Jour nal. For many years there has been a tendency to congregate in the cities, and to such an extent has this been carried tjint all the vocations of city life have been so overcrowded that to day it is well-nigh impossible for a stranger to get a foothold. For every situation there are a score of appli cants, and the young man who has no influential friends to render him aid is indeed unfortunate. We have long believed that this con dition of affairs would correct itself. One of the reasons that our young men have been so willing to leave the old country have has been the lack of country attractions. This can hardly be said to hold good to-day. The trol ley car, telephone and free rural mail delivery have well-nigh wiped out the distinctions between city and suburb an life. Another powerful factor now working for the upbuilding of the country life is the agricultural college. Our young men are fast learning that farming Is no longer the haphazard business of a former day, but is one of the most exacting and scientific of pursuits. With this knowledge comes a higher respect for the vocation and a stronger desire to enter the industry. The tide is thus gradually but surely turning, and the time is near at hand when farming will be held in the same high regard here that it has long been in England. In that country when a man achieves financial success he at once seeks a country estate for a home. Here the reverse has long held true, and the city home has been held up as the ideal. This false system of ethics is rapidly going to the wall nnd a more exalted idea of country life Is taking Its place. Rich and poor alike are be ginning to take to the farm. It is the ideal spot for a home. Want of care does us more damage than want of knowledge.—Franklin. -,'1 vV„'W ...si/ TELLS HOW TO KEEP YOUNG. p-V" -r.£f Blti TREATING BUSINESS AS A SCIENCE. By Dr. George P. Wall. In olden times men lived to a great age few died under tlw century mark unless killed in the battle or the clxase. There Is no physical reason, no edict of nature, why men should not live 100 years and upward now. And yet age of Itself Is no virtue. Unless one can keep young in looks, feelings, actions and ambitions what pleasure can there be in merely piling up years? I believe that the art of keeping young consists largely in' the maln- tenance of a right attitude of the mind on the subject Tlie great apostle Paul down one of the most profound philosophical truths of the ages when he said: "Ag a man thinketh so is he." If a woman constantly thinks gray hairs and wrinkles "she will soon bays both In abundance. On the other hand, if •be boldly defies spectacles, powders, paints, stays, wigs, etc., and Constantly asserts to her own heart and the whole world her right to remain young, nine times out of ten she will still be a girl at 40 instead of a broken-down old wom: an ready for the grave. If, a man will defy old Father Time by a constant menV tal and physical declaration of his right to keep young and buoyant he can win in a walk. There is no use for a nervous collapse at 35 or 40. Most men chew too much tobacco, smoke too many cigarettes, drink too much liquor end live too'fast every way.. Too many mistake reckless dash for atrenuousness, of the hour. Repose is one of the gfeatest needs Washington was a man of giant purpose and iron will, yet withal a man of magnificent repose. But for a Uttle carelessness which precipitated pneumonia he might have lived to pass the century mark. Sandow advises exercise and cold baths. This Is all right as far as it goes. But a regimen which considers only the physical man is worth very little without a pure, strong mind, a clear, honorable life and a God-centered soul. By John A. Rowland. There is a strong tendency at pressnt to re gard business as a science, knowledge of which can be reduced to principles and general laws. This means that the painfully acquired experi ence of individuals is being sifted, formulated, made general in' application, so that it can be handed on to benefit others. In no department of business practice has there been such enormous development in the last decade as In organization, the Intellectual framework by means of which a business moves, and this organization of business Is now being stud led as never before. It has long been known that system was an Important element, but as competition grows fiercer and fiercer, 'the perfection of method, of system, appears to be (he very key to success. The latest' development of this tendency to discard the methods of our fathers Is shown in the rise of the "business doctor," who is an expert who may be called in to examine and prescribe for any business that shows symptoms of failing health. He Is a graduate from the school of experi ence. He takes charge of everything and bosses everybody ooncerned. The first think he does Is to examine the work lag system, and he invariably finds this to be closely con nected with the seat of the disease. Striving at every point eliminate waste, he often finds it necessary to reorganize from top to bottom. Detecting leakage here, waste of ie there, he endeavors by introducing time and labor Saving devices to reduce the running expenses. He teaches managers how to advertise most effectively for the least money, how to have the windows dressed, how to economize floor space, how to make two men do the work of three. Besides examining into wastes that result from lack of MEN CHEAPER THAN HORSES. Vtalm In Horsed and Hush of Work Make Them Hard to Hire. If anyone Is deceiving himself that the automobile has any chance of driv ing hones out of the market let him ask (lie teamster or bus driver, says Chicago Cfcrorilcle. The contractor will toll toe samelittory, giving figures to prove that'the horse market was never In better shape than it Is this fall, and ttiat horses were never in greater He considers this a big estimate, allowing for the high rental of barn room downtown. "And even at that rate we think It Is costing more to keep a horse than a man," he explains, "be side that we have our Investment to look ont for, we have put money In the horse-sad the man didn't cost us a cent. And then again the man can take care of himself, bat a beast of a man will abuse a poor beast of a horse. A horse will work all day long and all night If HORSES GET BIGGER PAY THAN THEIR DRIVER. demand. Indeed, It is much as the su perintendent of one of the city bns Uses said the other day: "It Is a pity the automobile docs not take hold of the tvngh work the horse now has to do. We don't need automobiles to haul the fashionable about town. We need them for delivery wagons and for dirt banllng and for coal wagons and the like. The horse can do the best of the work himself. What he needs is some thing to help him with the hard work. There are not on the market to-day enough heavy horses to do the hard work of city teaming. According to re the price of an average team se has doubled within the last nine months and the scarcity of teams for general hauling' is alarming. Contrac tors are having the greatest difficulty In getting enough teams to do their work and the price of hire for a team, wagon and driver has recently ad vanced from ^3 to $4 to $5 to $6 per day. Even at this price horses are not to be found and general teaming com panies are unable to fill their orders because of their shortage in horses. Xrtvers and wagons are plenty enough, but It Is Impossible to get the horse to complete the outfit It so happens that wlille a man Is earning $1.50 a day his toam Is earning $3. The superintendent of barns for a Wf cab company figures the cost of a bone's keep at $12 a month. The sum la divided something as follows: Feed $6 00 Barn rent... $3 00 Green 4 00 Shoes 1 00 li the driver'forces it, bat a man won't --there's the difference. We have to look out for the horse and the man can look out for himself. If you were to figure it out deducting for the extra expense of keeping a horse and for die odds and ends In the line of expenses you will find that a single horse does not hire for quite as much per day as a man does. But we never hire a sin gle horse—we get them In an outfit— horse, wagon, harness and driver for so much. Naturally the outfit will cost more than any one part of it" Many of the large contractors, un able to get horses to use in the work of excavating cellars, have put in iarge forces of men, who, with pick and shovel, are able to do the wtfrk of teamg. In the meantime If there is an auto-,, mobile which will haul dirt or scrape roads o,r do any of the drudgery of the horses' work the equine family will no doubt welcome it. There will be plenty of work left for the horses. WOMEN MAKE PAPER MONEY. -r-— Even Guide* at Bureau of Engraving and Prlntiong are Girls. The government and the banks, and even the postofflces, would be In a hole for a time if all the women In the bureau of engraving and printing should dpop dead all at once. That shop would have to close up pretty quick. Why, you can't even go over there and look around without a wom system, the business doctor looks out for possible dishonesty on the part of employes. He uses all sorts of clever devices for detecting such practices. He mercilessly prods .every body to see how much work he can get out of him. He pries Into every nook and corner and into every slightest transaction till he knows just what is going on everywhere every minute. He shakes up and he shakes down the whole business, tightening a screw here, fastening a loose board there, applying to one man a tonic, to aito^ter a dressing down, always with his finger on the pube of his patient till finally it steadies down to a normal, healthy action. It Is not such a long stretch of years since the Dutch trader used his foot as the standard of weight in buying furs from the Indians of America. There was method in that! But we have elaborated business knowledge and methods In America since then. To-day experts and spe cialists in business principles are known as "doctors," and we may without undue exaggeration dignify the sifted,' classified, and duly arranged substance of their special knowledge as science. AMERICA AND THE PRESENT TIME. Jrljghr C»auncey H. Depew, I have onTy_contempt for watery pat riotism. I know men who invest abroad because they see the shadow of an an archy and communism which Is to touch their possessions. I know* men who live abroad to get out from under the American Avalanche. I hope they will never return. We neither want thorn nor do we want the offspring of tfuch stock.' What are our perils? In senatob depew. comparison with what we have gone through and overcome they are noth ing. Our dyspeptic friends talk about the glory of the old time and how we have fallen away in manners and in mor als. Early records speak of the exceeding drunkenness among the clergy of Virginia, but no such record attaches to any church in any denomination in any State, In any township, of the United States to-day. The eighteenth century had for Its inventions by Amer icans two things, the lightning rod and shingle nails, but the nineteenth century contributed more to the happiness of man and the glory of God than all the centuries which preceded It General Washington's administration and his republic were rocked to the center by a whisky rebellion in a county of Pennsylvania, but In our time thirteen States and a million of men, American at that in arms against the republic for its overthrow only placed It on firmer founda tions wir.i purer liberty. Bah for your good old times! The best thv.j is to-day, except to-morrow. PEOrLE OF TODAY ALL IMITATORS. By Geo. C. Vincent. W are all terribly alike, and every man and woman Is but an Imitation of some other man or woman. In literature, art, religion, we are all under the influence of some domineering power. Even In sports we are not free from Imitation. Thousands of people who did not want to ride blcycles-vdid so because they wanted to ijgjtate the wealthy class at Newport. And of what use was their rejoicing? Now they must needs motor, and play golf, because It is fashionable to do s* and the people they want to seem like enjoy these things. We will never get rid of the fads, and we may never get rid of the Imitations, but the only chance for the latter is to cultivate individuality. The way to do that is to stimulate yourselves for greater efforts by never letting a day pass without spending, fifteen minutes at lea&t with some one you feel is superior to you or by reading for that length of time in a good book. an to ehow you. All the guides to the bureau for the benefit of tourists and other Ignorant people—which includes all Washington people, for Washing ton people are the most ignorant peo ple on earth about Washington Institu tions—all the guides, and there are seven of them, are women, young wom en and pretty women at that And how the people do visit there! Three thousand a week, said a guide. That's GOO a day. And that's one a minute for every working .hour of the day. Pretty constant stream of callers that Not oo many years ago three decrepit old "men were the guides. Now the seven are women, which Is significant, and ene that typifies the work done in the bureau, for here, of the 3,000 em pfejres, m«rc than half are of the fem tolas persuasion. These young and goodrlooking guides will explain how American money is pdnted en the baek, then pot in cold storage, where it goes through a dry ing process then sorted and the Im perfect sheets thrown out then print ed ea the face, and then perforated and put up In packages to be sent to the treasury for the government seal. They generally tell how oseless.lt would be for any one to try to rob Hie wagon containing this money. In the first place, because six guards al ways acoompany it and, in the sec wad place, because the money at this stage of its manufacture wouldn't be any goed, anyway. "It I* seven days after a bill Is print ed on Its back before it is printed on the face," aald this visitor's guide. "It takes thirty days to make a silver dol lar bill, and forty to make a gold one. The gold one Is printed three times, twice on one side, because it has to have the word 'gold' and a little splotch of gold on this side before the face can be printed." Then she led the visitor to the framed dollar bills fastened to one of the walls in the hall, and showed these bills, calling special attention to the gold certificate, and then led the way back to the front door and said adieu. It was all over in ten minutes.—Wash ington Post Furs Growing Scarce in Siberia. The wealth of Russia In furs Is be lng rapidly sapped. It is reported that In a certain district of the Yeneeei gov ernment, where fifty years ago hunt ers annually shot 2S,000 sables, 6.0001 bears, 24,000 foxes, 14,000 bhie foxes, 300,000 squirrels, 5,000 wolves and 200,000 hares, hardly a sable can be found to-day. The blame is laid to the wanton destruction of wild ani mals In the course of the hunting ex peditions. No steps seem to have been taken to put a stop to this. Bnllfroga as Sentrte* A Pennsylvania fisherman has dis covered that bullfrogs act as sentries to fish, and that It Is useless to try to catch bass when a deep-voiced bellow ing frog is wdtohlng. 03ey tell of a young man who was educated so much that he finally had all the. native sense educated out of Uf*u4 HAD AN .ABOUNDING! NERVE. Startling Proposition a Kansas chant Made to Hit Crcdito The out-of-town merchant ow Kansas City house $200 for goods pur chased the month previous. The bill was due and a letter was written re-' questing payment. A letter came back ,, saying that the writer was somewhat short of cash and requesting an ex tension of ninety days on the bill. The Kansas City merchant wrote another. letter saying that he must insist on the payment of his bill and suggested that if the customer was "hard up""*' the local bank would updoubtedly ac- commodate him with a loan of $200,*'^ so that the bill might be paid. In seventy-two hours the Kansas *-J*M? City man received a reply, whioh he is '••"at carrying around and showing to his friends as a certificate of the nerviest business proposition ever issued in Missouri. The letter follows: 'Dear Sir: Your letter of Dec. 28, came today and noted. I was much pleased with your suggestion about borrowing money from the bar^ In fact, I was so pleased t" morning I went to the bank and askel for a loan. I was told that it would be necessary to get onother signature on the note besides my "Now, I do not care to ask anyone down here to indorse for me, but as you and I Have had considerable business to-,, gether I Inclose the note for your sig nature. Please sign just below where I have written my name. "You will probably notice that the note is lor $300 instead of $200, the amount of your bill. You see, I owe two otheF fellows who intndle "thfir same kind of goods as you $50 each and I thought as long as you and I are going to pay your bill we might as well borrow enough to pay the other fellows at the same time."—Kansas City Star. Kentucky Man's Dntjr. Jamboree, Ky., Aug. 29.—(Special.) —After suffering for years with pain in the back Mr. J. M. Coleman, a well known citizen of this place^ has found a complete cure in Dodd's Kh Knowing how general this df all over the country, Mr. feels it is his duty to make his ence public for the benefit of sufferers. "I want to recommend D»W's Kid ney Pills to everybody wlio has pain in the back," Mr. Coleman says. "I suffered for years with my back. I used Dodd's Kidney Pills aad I have not felt a pain since. My Httle girl, too, complained of her back and she. used about half a box of Dedd's Kid ney PiHs and she is sound aad well." Backache is Kidney Ache. Dodd's Kidney Pills are a sure c»re for all Kidney Aches, Including Rfruauiatism. Not a Flying-Fish. It was "a beautiful tish the butcher said so, and Mrs. Wilcox was a beauti ful woman a clever one, too, and the first In her class at college for "think ing out things." Therefore, when jjner maid of all work went to her coy^tea wedding, Mrs. Wilcox was qiMSflHe' that she could prepare the fish dlhfier. for which Mr. Wilcox had asked. What he thought about it is no part of the story as the Chicago News prints jit- At four o'clock precisely Mrs. Wil cox put on one of her trousseau aprons and began to think. She thought out the gastronomic trimmings first, but when she had made some bollandaise sauce, and put it where it could not possibly keep hot, although that was not her intention, she began to consider the fish. To her intense annoyance, the butch er had neglected to clean it and make it ready for cooking. Very well, she would do it herself. So it came about that when Mr. Wil cox got home ho found his wife with worried brow and flushed cheeks stand ing over the sink, the fish in one hand and the teakettle In the other. "There is something wrong with this fish," she announced. "It is most peculiar. I have poured gallons of boiling water over it,—just as I re member grandmother used to treat newly killed chickens before she could pick the feathers off,— and thefhorrid scales stick just as tightly "|Mker!" "Why don't you try sipJRIB^t?" Wilcox managed to ask belWe ne ex ploded. Motion Overrnled. Merely a Hint. The man who thinks he knows it all May find out by and by, That the man who doesn't know so much Eats far less humble pie. LEARNING THINGS. r-v* A*.. JL 'r si t. "I say," said the captain of baches lors' hall in the boarding school, "let's be swell and call our dormitory the,. Latin quarter." "No! No!" shrieked the rest of the crowd. "Because," ventured one of the pro testing mob, "all the other fellows will be coming here tiding to borrow the quarter." And so It was thus that the dormi tory went nameless.—Baltimore Amer ican. We Are All in the Apprentice Class, When a simple change of diet brings back health and happiness the story Is briefly told. A lady of Springfield, 111., says: "After being afflicted for years with nervousness and hcfjJU^oa ble, I received a shock four yeiHM^ that left me in such a conditloinsfcA my life was despaired of. I could peij no relief from doctors nor from the numberless heart and nerve medicines I tried because I didn't know that the coffee was daily putting me back more: than the .doctors could put me ahead. "Finally at the request of a friend I left off coffee and began the use of Postup, and' against my convictions I: gradually Improved in health until for the past six or eight months I have been, entirely free from nervousness and those terrible sinking, weakening spells of heart trouble. "My troubles all came from the use1, of coffee, which I had drunk from childhood, and yet they disappeared when I quit coffee' and took up the use of Postum." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Many people marvel at the effects of leaving off coffee and drinking Postum, but there is nothing marvel* ous about It—only common sense. Coffee is a destroyer—Postum Is rebuilder. That's the reason. Look In each pkg. for the famoua Utile book. "The Road to Weill 1-.^ ,1$ 4 if i* 0$% 'y: Jc'ii,'.'