The herald-advance., September 26, 1890, Image 2

About The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922

Image provided by: South Dakota State Historical Society – State Archives

                
I
I
THE BEST MAN.
How Youn Van Bibber Assisted
a Boston Lochinvar.
Young Van Bibber came back to town
from Newport the other day to seo his
lawyer about tho disposal of some prop
erty that needed his sanction, lio found
tho city very hot and dreary and empty.
lie had to wait over for an afternoon
train, and as ho was down-town ho de
cided to lunch at a French restaurant
near Washington square, whero some
one told him you could get particular
things particularly well-cooked. The
tables were set on a terrace with plants
and flowers about them and covered
with a tri-colored awning. There were
no jangling horso-car bells nor tlust to
disturb him, and almost all tho other
tables were unoccupied. The waiters
leaned against these tables and chatted
in a French argot, and a cool breeze
blew through tho plants and billowed
the awning, so that on tins wliolo Van
liibber was glad he had como.
When he had given hit order ho
leaned hack and surveyed tho other
diners. There was an old French man
scolding over his late breakfast, two
young artists with Van l)yke beards,
who ordered the most remarkable things
in tho same French argot that the wait
ers spoke, and a young lady and a young
gentleman at the tablo next to hia own.
Tho man's back was toward him, and he
couid see only tho girl when the youth
moved to one side. Sho was very young
and very pretty, and she seemed in a
most excited state of mind from tho tip
of her wide-brimmed, pointed French
hat to the points of her patent-leather
ties. She was strikingly well-bred in
appearance, and Van liibber wondered
why she should bo dining alone with so
young a tnan.
"It wasn't my fault," said tho youth,
earnestly "I no i lea ho would bo out
of town, and. anyway, it really dixjsn't
matter. There are other clergymen In
the city besides your cousin."
"Of course," said the girl, almost tear
fully "but they're not my cousin and
he is, and that would havo made it so
much—oh, so very much different Fm
awfully scared."
"Runaway couple, by Jovo!" com
mented Van Bibber "most interesting.
Read about 'cm often never soon 'em.
Most interesting."
Ho bent his head over an entree, but
ho could not help hearing what fol
lowed, for the young runaways wero in
different to all around them, and though
he rattled his knife and fork in a most
vulgar manner, they did not hear him
r.or lower their voices.
"Well, what are you going to do?"
N.aid the girl, severely, but not unkind
ly "it doesn't seem to me that you are
exactly rising to the occasion."
"Well, I don't know." answered the
youth "we're safe hero, anyway. No
body we know ever comes here, and if
they did, they are out of town, now.
You go on and eat something, and I'll
pet a directory and look up a lot of cler-
f?vm
n's addresses, and then we can
make out a list and drivo around in a
cab until we find one who has not gone
off on his vacation."
"They'll never forgive us," said tho
girl.
"Oh, well, that's all right," exclaimed
tho young man, cheerfully "really,
you're the most uncomfortable young
woman I ever ran away with. One
might think you w»ro going to a funer
al. You wero willing enough two days
ago, and now you'ro sorry you camo."
"No, not sorry, exactly," said tho
girl "hut, indeed, Ted, it is going to
make so much talk. If wo only had a
girl with us, or if you had a best man,
or if wo had witnesses, as they do in
England, and a parish registry, or some
thing of that sort or, if Cousin Harold
had only been at home to do tho mar
rying."
Tho young gentleman called Tel did
not look, judging from the expression
of his shoulders, as if ho wero having a
very good time.
lio called tho waiter and told him to
bring a directory, and as he turned to
givo tho order, Van liibber recognized
him and ho recognized Van liibber. Van
liibber knew him for a very nice boy of
.very good Boston family named Stalul
ls
b, and tho younger of tsvo sons. It
was tho elder who was Van Bibber's
particular friend. Tho girl saw noth
ing of this mutual recognition, for sho
was looking with startled eyes at a han
som that had dashed up tho sido stroot
and was turning tho corner.
"Ted! oil, Ted!" sho gasped "it'syour
brother. Thoro! In that hansom. I
saw him porfoctly plainly. Oh, how did
he find us? What shall wo do?"
Tod grew very red and than Tory
white.
"Standish," said Van Bibber, Jump
ing up and reaching for his hat, "pay
this chap for thoso things, will you, and
I'll get rid of your brother."
Van liibber camo down the steps,
lighted a cigar, as tho elder Standish
came up them on tho jump.
"Ilellol Standish!" shouted the New
Yorker "Wtiat a coincidence! Why,
I've just scon your brother, and now
hero you are. What's up?"
"You've seen him!" cried the Boston
man, eagerly "yon, and where is he?
Was she with bin Are they married?
Am I in time?"
Van Bibber answered theso different
questions to the effect that he had seen
young Standish and Mrs. Standish not
a half-an-hour before, and that they
were just then taking a cab for Jersoy
City, whenco they wero to depart for
Chicago.
"Tho Jrrivcr who brought them here
and who told mo where they were, said
they could not havo left this placo by
the timo I would roach it," said tho
elder brother, doubtfully.
"Yea, but they have," said Van Bib
bor 'however, if yo
U
politely.
"No#, then.'' said that young man,
as hi approached the- frightened couple
o:i the terrace, "I've sent your bro'hor
off to Chicago. I do nut know why I
selected Chicago as a place whore one
would go on a honeymoon. But I'm not
very good at it Now, if you will in
troduce me I'll sec what can be dono
toward getting you two babes out of the
woods."
Standish said: "Miss Cambridge, thU
is Mr, Cortlandt Van Hihl^r, of whom
you have heard my brother speak," and
Mis-i Cambridge said she was very glad
to meet Mr. Van liibber even under
such peculiarly trying circumstances.
"Now, what you two want to do,"
saiii Van Bibber, addressing them as
though they were just about fifteen
years old an I ho was at least forty, "is
to give this t.uing all tho publicity you
can."
"What?" chorused the two runaways,
in violent protest
"Certainly," said Van Bibber: "you
wero about to make a fatal mistake.
You were about to go to somo unknown
clergyman, of an unknown parish, who
wouid havo tuarvied you in a ba'k room
without a certificate ur a witness, just
like any eloj ing farmer's daughter and
a lightning rod agent. Now, it's dif
ferent with you two. Wliv you wero
not married respectably in church, 1
don't know but a kind Provide:!'
0
got over to Jersey
City in time for tho two-thirty, you can
reach Chicago almost as soon as they
do. "hoy aro going to the Palmer
House, tney said."
"Thank you, old fellow," shouted
Standish, jumping back into bis han
som "it's a terriblo business. Pair of
young fools. Nobody objected to the
marriage—only too yo^ng, you know
Ever so much obliged."
"Don't mention It -»&ia y
-v, y
an
Bibbar
1
Las
sent me to so:- that there i-5 no talk or
scandal, which is such bad form, and
which would havo got your names in
all tho society papers. I a:n going to
arrange this wdding pi'operlv, and you
will kindly remain here until I send a
carriage for you. Now, Just rely on mo
and eat your luncheon calmly. Allow
1110 to recommend the salad, which is
especially good."
Van liibber first drove madly to tho
Little Church Around the Corner,
whero he told tho kind old rector all
about it, and arranged to havo tho
church open and the assistant organist
in her place, and a district usesscnger
boy to blow tho bellow:.*, at three
o'clock. "Now," ho said, "I must, get
some names. It doesn't matter much
whether they happen to know the high
contracting parties or not, but they
must bo names that everybody knows.
Whoever is in town will bo lunching at
Ih-lmonico's and the men will bo at tlio
club." So he ju went to the big res
taurant, whore, as giolluek would
havo it. he found Mrs. "Bogy"' Van
Arnt and Mrs. Jack I'arrish and tho
Misses Brook line, who were just off tho
yacht Minerva, of tho Boston Yacht
Club, and he sworo them to secrecy and
told them about it.
At the club ho pressed four men into
service who knew everybody anl whom
everybody knew, and when they pro
tested that they had not been properly
invited and that they knew only tho
bride and groom by sight, ho told thorn
that made no differeneo, as it was their
names only he wanted. Then he sent a
messenger-boy to get the biggest suite
of rooms on the I'dII River boat an.l
another one for flowers, and then he put
Mrs. Bogy Van Arnt into a cab and sent
her aft'-r the bride, aud, as bi?st man, ho
got into another cab and carried off the
groom.
"I havo acted as best man or usher
fortv-two times now." said Van Uibber,
as they drove to the church, "and this
is the lirst timo I ever appeared in
either capacity in Russia-leather shoes
and a blue-serge yachting suit. But
then," he added, contentedly, "I'm
nothing to the other fellows. 0n3 of
them is in a striped-flannel suit."
Mrs. "Regy" anl Miss Cambridgo
wept a great deal on tho way np-town,
but the bride was all smiles and blushes
when she walked up the aisle to meet
her prospective husbmd. The,' all
shook hands after it was over, and ho
assistant-organist played the* "Wedding
March," and one of tho club-men in*
sisted in pulling a cheerful and jerky
peal on tho church bell in tho absence
of tho janitor, and then Van Bibber
hurled an old shoe and a handful of rice
which ho had thoughtfully collccted
from the cook at the club—after them
as they drove off to the boat.
"Now," said Van Bibber, "when that
is printed in the papers to-morrow, it
will read like ono of tho most orthodox
and swagger weddings of tho season.
But, still 1 can not help thinking—"
"Well
said Mrs. "Regy," as ho
paused doubtfully.
"Well, I can't help thinking," con
tinued Van liibber, "of Standish racing
around Chicago with tho thermometer
atone hundred and two in the shade,
and of our meeting when ho gets hack.
It will bo feverish—very feverish. I
wish I had sent him to Jersey City only.
It just shows that a man who is not
practiced in lying should leave it alone."
—N. Y. Sun.
Qu«*r Facts About Oolrfflih.
Goldtish that swim in globes of water
in our parlors aro very sensible to
changes in the weather, and an observ
ant person may l^arn to rely on them to
foretell the coming of a storm. At such
times tho tlsh are restless. They dart
about from place to place, and never re
main long in ono spot as in mild, pleas
ant weather. Thoy may bo taught,
when kept in a large tank, to approach
their attendant by ringing a bell. An
other of their peculiarities is that they
may be frozen in a lump of ico in De
cember and be thawed out alivo in
April. Although goldfish are now reared
and kept as pets all over this country,
they were first brought here from China
only thirty years ago.—-N. Y. bun.
(tome I xce Irrit Maxima.
Keep up your spirits by good thoughts
Enjoy tho pleasant company of your
best friends, but in all enjoyments be
temperato. Learn tho art to bo pr»
ferred before all others, of being happy
when alone—which consists in the en
couragement of good hopes and ration
al pursuits—in leading an industrious
life, and in havingconstantly before you
some object of attainment. In your
converso with tho world, bo over care
ful, for the sake of peace, to speak ili
of no one, to treat your known enemy
with civility, and to shut your ears
against evil reports of all kinds. —N. Y.
Ledger.
—Stranger (seeking information)—
"Well, bub, do you know tho lay of the
land?" Bub (aged ten)—"Ye#, air the
Star Spangled Banner,' air."
ENGLISH F!AILr UAD3.
Till* Can Turd hjr I ln N»t 'fMV,r,»r
Favorably with American tuai-hi-,
Tiie.se Americans who go abroad to
discover the sbortiv-mingsof I-luiopo aud
to exaggerate their own satisfaction'
with everything American arc al ways
happiest when they are describing an
Lnglish, French or Herman railroad,
They are half wrong, as bigots usually
are: but then, again, '.hey are half
right. Tlie truest comparison and fair-j
est statement of the facts concerning!
English and American railroads is that
if tliey had our cars and we had their
roads, both countries would enjoy rail
roading in perfection.
In order to present tho completes*
picture to the American reader, let him
or her imagine a summer horse car with
the sides hoarded up- OIK? of those hors.«
cars we New Yorkers ride upon Third
avenue in, with cross seats facing one
another in pairs. Let him imagine the
buck of every alternate seat carried up
to the ceiling. That would divide the
car into three or four boxes. Then put
a window at each end of each seat, and
a door at each end of each passage. The
window nr st be tight and immovable,
but there must bo a sliding window in
every door, to hoist, up and down by
means of a broad leather strap, worn
black and soft by handling. Now mark
"Third Clit^s"' on tho boxes that
arc over tho wheels at either end of
the car, and paint "First Class" on the
boxes between the wheelsin tho middle
of the car. Cushion the first-classseats,
and pad their backs as high as one's
head: then carpet the third-class seats,
and nail carpets on their backs, and you
have turned an open horse-car into
an Knirlish railway carriage. There
is a narrow board on each side of the
horse-car for tho conductor to walk upon,
and that is there also on the English
ear: but the English railroad car is
boarded up at either end, whereas the
American horse-car is glazed.
Now let the American think of all the
comforts and conveniences there are in
our railroad coaches the toilet, stand,
the closet, the heating apparatus, the
drinkinir-water cylinder. Not one of
these is in an English railroad ear- not
one. All those things are at thostation,
not in the cars. In the Kngiish cars
there is an ineffectual and timid lie-lit.
half concealed above a thick convex
glass in tho roof of each compartment,
and there is a rack over each seat. This
is the fact whether yon ride first class i
or third class. In some of the cars there
is a map of the railroad over one
branch, and an ad ver' i:.emont of the
railroad hotels facing it, in each com
partment. Tho map strikes me as n
most, excellent idea. Then
1
is also
posted in each compartment as! tement
of tho number of persons it is designed
to accomodate. "This compartment is
for ten persons." was always posted in
ti.e third-class ami com!-class com
partments: in the first-elas* ones tin
seats are divided by padded arms to ac
comodate three persons e,-eh. or six to
the compartment. '1 hat is a European
custom. Even on shipboard on your
way to Europe you will notice, cast, in
the iron door-frame of every room aboard
the vessel, a statement of tiie number
of sailors or passengers or stewards or
stokers that may inhabit each apart
ment. Julian Ralph, in Harper's
Weekly.
NATURAL ELOQUENCE.
Many Orators Keplare It by Carefully
KlfthorMt«l
Kltjii«*rw'ea
Though nritunil nI'mhu'uco in Aupy.osi'd
to be a thing of the heart, and of the
i nspira' ion of the mom en!. great orators
Tory often have to depend for their elo
quence upon somcthing'iuiteother than
inspiration. It is impossible for them
to speak from a full heart on every oc
occasion, and natural eloquence must he
replaced by carefully elaborated elo
quence.
Edward Everett, the "silver-tongued
orator." used to write his addresses and
commit them to memory. This method
fcas been followed by many other public
men whose "impromptu'' eloquence has
been a matter for great, admiration to
their hearers. Indeed, it may be laid
down as an accepted rule that great
speecpes are made beforehand. There
havo been some notable exceptions to
this rule, but it is nevertheless a rule.
M. Paul de Retr.u-.at relates that, vis
iting oneo hiS friend, M. Thiers, who
had not yet become President of the
French Republic, but was one of the
most noted orators of Europe, ho found
tho great statesman at his desk, busy
with paper and pen.
"\'ou come just in time," said Thiers.
"I am just finishing the speech that I
am to deliver in the Corps Legislatit
to-morrow. I will road you some pas
sages, and vou may toll mo just what
you think about it."
It was. perhaps, M. Thier's most, fa
mous speech -his great impeachment of
Napoleon III. and his policy. The
young man listened with interest, and
veni ured to say after the reading that,
while tho address was a remarkably
strong one. he missed something of the
"asy, natural, perfectly simple method
which was characteristic of M. Thiers.
"You are right,"said the groat orator,
"I haven't put in the negligence yet.
Taking his pen, he proceeded to add a
touch of negligent ease here and there,
changing careful expressions to careless
ones.
"Now," he said at last, "it is sponta
neous!"
M. Thiers once wrote to Sainte Beuve:
"I have spent my life in public assem
blies, and have beenstrtick by one thing:
Tho moment a speaker begins to make
what we call phrases, the audience be
gin to smile disdainfully, and to cease
to listen."
Notwithstanding his love for the sim
ple and unconventional in oratory. M.
Thiers was in the habit of putting his
spoken speeches into more formal shape
for permanent record. Taking the
proofs of the nervous, often incomplete
sentences which the stonograper had
caught on the wing, ho transformed
•li.eni into stately periods.
"They wero all very WPIL in their
way," ho said, "but they were not
1'"re nc.h.'' Youth's Com
pan ion.
-"Thai was a capitil lectura of
Hick's." "Do you think so? I thought
it was horrid. Why, the man didn't
know what to do with his bands."—
Harper's Bazar.
COUNTRY CHILDREN.
I i i n i v i s w e y o n i
1'rivile#*** of fcarm Lifts
I' a great thing for a family he
t'. ndent. It is a good 1 hing for \!.«»
boys and the girls to know how to do
all the family work, and to be willing
to do it, and wo have tried to raise our
thick that way. The boys can hang a
gate or a window curiam, or put in a
pane of glass, or mend a chair, or make
a wagon for the baby, or cut the wood
and feed the stock, and the girls can
paper a room as nicely as Mauck, and
they can cut and tit and make their own
garments, from calico to silk, and cook
as good a meal as anybody, but we don
want thetu to do these tilings all the
time, and they shall not as long as I
can help' it. There are some social
privileges and pleasures that are reason
able and natural and innocent, and wo
all like to enjoy them. If a friend comes
to see me I wish to entertain him pleas
antly and cordially, and not have to say,
"I've got to (nit some stove wood right
now and you will havo to excuse me."
If ladies call to see my wife and daugh
ters it would not he pleasant or polite
for them to say, "We don't keep a cook
and are doing our own work, and you
will have to excuse us this morning."
Tho poor should not envy too rich for
enjoying these social pleasures, nor
should the country people be emious of
the town people. All would do the
same thing if thev could, and it is
everybody's duty to better their con
dition if they can. Nine fanners out
of ten would move to town if they
could afford to. They would do it for
their children's sake- -for better schools
and better preachers and better social
advantages. But nine out of ten can't
move, and so it is their duty to buiid up
he country school sand country churches
and raise the trrade of both. If the Al
liance does no other work in the legisla
ture than to demand and enfore a tax
that will establish a good ten months'
school in every
settlement that
can num
ber fifty scholars between the ages of
eight anil eighteen, it will have accom
plished a great, work. (live the country
children a chance. If they had had it
heretofore I would have been in the
country farming until now, for there my
children spent the happiest years of
•heir life. They talk about it yet with
memories of delight. The springs and
branches, and tish-pond. and the creek
and mill not far away: the wash-hob
and the spring-board the walks through
shady, winding ways to tho lime-sink
field, and the little spring beyond that
was overhung with haw ireos the dells
aed coves, and meadows, where the wild
ilowers grew, trie hunt for huckleberries,
and may pops, and biackhuws, and scalv
barks, and walnuts: the ripened grain,
and i he grass tailing before the reaper's
blade, and their sweet, dizzy rides oil
the. top of the loaded hay, Tliey --till
love to tell how they fished, and seined,
and hunted squirrels, and rabbits, and
coons, and set traps for birds and killed
the water mocca-ms that hung in ttie
bushes that bordered the meadow
branch. Ti.ey talk about the colls they
raided, and tin- narrow escapes they had
from hutting rams and vicious hulis and
runaway teams, and they magnify all
these accidents and incidents the more
and more as time recedes from those
happy days. ]f they live to the allon-.d
agi s of three score years and ten, they
will still recall their farming iifo with
fonder memories than any other.
1 wish that all the children of this
blessed, bountiful land could bo raised,
at least, in part in the country upon a
well-watered, w.-U-managed farm. Hill
Arp, in Atlanta Constitution.
JULIUS1 SUBSTITUTE.
Why the I»rky Wasn't n Hit Afraid
Of Poisom»! MHoiih.
"Julius." said tho Colonel, with a
benevolent smile, "you probably know
that i havo a hundred acres of wata:
melons?"
"I -I- has yo' dun gotdat much, stih?"
"Why. you livo out there, Julius, and
know all about, it."
"Deed I libs out dar, but J'se bin so
worry busy I hain't had time to inquar'
around. U hat about dem wateruiill
yons. Kurnel?"
"Julius, suppose I should drug some
of those melons'.'"
"Yes. sab."
"Put in something which would make
the thief awfully sick?"
"1 follers yo", sail."
"Ho you think you could tell ono of
the drugged melons by feeling of it in
the night?"
"Me? Me? What would I be doin' in
yo' millyon patch at night, sail?"
"But suppose you went there?'
-n
1
"Art.er millyons?"
"Yes."
"Gwirie t,er steal 'em?"
"Yes."
"Wall, Kurnol Johnson, 'taint no use
to argify dat pint, kase I wouldn't sro."
"Why not?"
"'lvaso I'd send one of de bovs. vo'
know!"—N. Y. Sun.
Th« Lain l.oril Stamford,
The strange history of an Englishman
of title has just boon real led by his
death. Ihe late Lord Stamford went
out to South Africa as a missionary
about forty years ago, and during the
latter part of his 'lifo he lived in se
clusion on a farm at Wynborg. which is
within a short distance of Cape Town.
Lord Stamford was throe times married,
and ono of his wives was a colored
woman. The titles to which he suc
ceeded about seven years ago camo to
him without the estates which had be
longed to his predecessor, but the valu
able Cheshire property will revert to
the earldom after the death of Lady
Stamford, who has tho whole of the
estates for lifo. I ho late Lord Stamford
has only left a daughter, who bea.*s the
historic name of Lady -Fane Grey, and
his nephew, the new earl, was recently
professor of mathematics at a college in
tho \\,st Indies, lie took high honors
at Oxford and has traveled nearl v all
over tho world. \. Y. Letter.
liriiiK iioitil lo Ifiinsolf,
llott fto departing gu-sti-Why, it's
rum!.) r! Let me lend you this umbr-ila
(niest- Haven you a better one than
ihat? going out of town for a fe
r, SCFLLANEOUS. SCIENCE AND
lie in in 0.1 andoi'j- new
the yt-..r jii.st
:ro credited to
:,o tho United
ror-t"""
pa^se
Fram
States.
lotitu ivdidn 'akofchat
sea: thegei,- i \'..ia ofTere Larn
es in'
1
--"Because I would nave had to
sit next to that woman whoso i rei
doesn't harmon :n in color with msue.'
Domestic servants are so scarce in
Montreal that women in want of help
are said to visit the jail w.th
of engaging young women '.
thorn at tho close of their
prisonmenU
the view
.cork for
n- of in.-
Jockey "Can't tile to-day. Mr.
Pettit." Poti.it—"What's the matter?
Are you sick?" Jockey -"No, I in not
sick: but I've got. a sliver in my tingi
anl I'm afraid they'd make it out tha
1 was overweight." --Judge.
-••Lady—-"I would like to get a serv
ant-girl. The family consists of mv
husband, m\self and five
Employment Age:.'.
niiidaiu, but you w .i -.
some of the children."
ildren."
-,- sorry,
kill off
M:
i
n e v i
11
o W i h.
Brighton, Staler! Island, s v
ing as a humane form of capital punish
ment. lie says he came near being
drowned not b»ng ago himself. Ho went
far enough to discover that death by
that method would he painless.
—Ohl gen:lem:in i-it his daughter's
wedding) "My uear, I don't see how I
am to get along without you." Bride
"Never mind, pa. Since the ceremony
was performed, my husband has con
fessed that he hasn't enough saved lo
go to housekeeping, so you may not losa
me after all."— N. Y. Weekly.
-—Eighteen words have come into the
language probably temporarily, most
of them to denote the act or state of
electric killing. They are as follows:
Klectromort. thanrdeciri/.e, thanatelec
trize, thanatelectrisis, elect rophon, elec
trici-e, eleelrotony, electrophony, elec
tri.ciony. cb-ctrectasy. electiicide, elec
tropietii/c, electro! henese. olectroed,
electrocution, fulmen, voltacuss and
c-lcctrostrike. —(iarratt,
"Pon't clean your nails in
said a critic to a ler:-oit Free lV
porter. "It i« unspeakably valgar. 'ine
toilet should be male in the privacy of
cuie's chamber, or, at any rate. out. of
the public gaz-.e. I'
in the u orhl that di
to see a fetlow pull e
street car and
is anything
a persen :t is
ackknife in a
1
inm
ost.
hands,
the higl
A tr
ibe pri
said to
reply:
wa-diin.
agent,
swer tl
T'
n
half an hour.
Lewiston Journal.
The London Hospital tells of a
pe am stress, who, like Hood's parotic
heroiuo in the "Song of the Shirt,"
worked till the stars shone on the roof
Her eyesight failed, and the story goes
on: "Mie saw at the same time four
hands, four needles and four seams
She at. first treated them as an illusion!
but, at the end of sortie days, in
so.|uenco ,,f v.oakne-s
tn
ri'AifoV'u e
d' prolonged
mer.ral anxiety, :ho imagined that she
was really sowing four seams at oneo.'
and that God, touched by her misfor
tune, had worked a miracle in hor
lavor.
-According to a calculation rr.ado by
the Lcononiiste Beige, the cost of firing
a 110-pound gun is, in round numbers.
divided as follows: ti'.io pounds of
powder SHSO
U
,s„ pounds proicct.ile,
Sb", silk for cartridge. SIT total Ss-jo
But this is not all. The 1
!0- ,ound
it appears, can l.,e fired hut'.i:, times
and after that becomes incapable of be
ing used, ana requires repairs. Now
the ,-ost of the piece being «s
)0o u
necessary to est imatethe oost of'wear
at about ?s, s for each shot, thus raising
the cost of each charge to «i.vo!).
Iboy struck town Tuesday, pictures
0 nual neaithand unsophisticated
pin
ess. says t- Sidney X.
ll
1
,"
:iv n: nau
fCht but the
light of the ger.tle (lame of love illum
inated their path and enabled them to
e?e their way to Justice Pierce's, where
their aching, throbbing hearts were
Boklered into one, blissful and indi-
Ind Adonis kf tl
Vermora v
«nus
v
CaS was rp, r(
-sontod
by Lc..ter D. Newton, of Norwich ™,i
Miss May Hulbert, of Walton. After
the nuptial knot was knotted the hannv
pair went to Ilotaling'a ^,-oeerv
vested in two slices wCmiw
rti)»irlonabl« Oflt»iia«
Mrs. fiazzam nover apeak to Mrs
Jaysmith again. So there!
.Oazzam—What's up'.1
Mrs. ia7. ai n--Sho offered me a se
J" the street ear. the
laing!
Mp».
W
months, and Fm afraid that won't last
until I return.—Munsey's Weekly.
Jlnl S1
IN DUST
-About 'M.OO species of
i
w,
average, have been di
s ovcrr
during tho last century.
In some port ions of t',P ...
time t^f full moon then.
tendency toward aditmuutio^
nr*
qu
1
evning
•own is
.r.im iu
,.i
.wins
a wet
arriagt
lb
in,
and
annt.
and piano
1
orvmi
a v.
carriage
—Tho
is giien by
sus I'otver a
of s?.TT.'.'JTl
share is 4T-1,
-da
!e fill
given a* $!-,
being 7i.s,
pro!need.
Oll.TTi}. I
graph.
wrote hi an
pi.ir.o agent jind
ng, he v,:i* not
nrges in a board
•t: I -.at tho
t'l ve-1.
Jiing
Board.
l)f
Amies
1 uot of ro
tendent
tlve-bo:-
..ing of
the. 1 u-
*iu
Po:in-v'i
•:tni i.
tsburgh
man sviio w is hurryir.jr the
huiK/r s whs on II'1
hi** fM hat.
k,
n^n tli'l yo-i it
here?" "I dunno," was the reply. They
hunted over a great pyramid of hat* and
found U, labeled uiy When he went
out the hatter said: "That man bought
ft new hat he re and when ho went- on
Said that he would call for it. in h,alf an
o u I a s n o v u e n o u w W e
throw away s"von or eight hundred old
hats every year for which tho own
lire going toe:Ul 'i
|f HE
Beers, an Austrian
S(.uu
Succeeded ill dis "overinjf
molding marble lluid preci^.j.,.
is molded.
-The electric spark h«»W
praphed by means of a spPf.jal"
which the sensitive platie
"."00 times a minute.
«ne car building compaT1Ti
sylvania has on hand urdvrs
freight cars. Tim largest
0rt
10,1100 cars,
-Col. ZilitnhofT, of Siberia
ive discovered in ordinary c-jr,
which he can greatly i
nci
ere of explosives.
Mr. 1\ A. Swindon, of Hro
Tex., has an
or-!i:,H
of n.fl
trees—the largest orchard of' i
in the world. The ave
full-grown trce
bushels a year, \\..
a bushel,
•f New
i drown-
erago y
about
wlls fron
The camphor trep fl
our
Tampa, Kla., and its ciiltivatu
to be more profitable than a:
business in the State. ainpbo
distilled at any season of tlit
the tree is not affected by heat
It grows very rapidiv. The
distillation is very simple.
A new gas delector, propose
IT. N. Warren, is formed by
ing asbestos yarn with a snl
platinum oxalate, airi thi-n
in a platinum crucible. Wl.pi
to eighty degrees Fahrenheit,
a e y a n e o e s i i
atmosphere containing
1
,.r
volume of coal gas.
Tie- making of ivoodrn shoe:
isiness in New York, N,j
tie »'0 a big demand for wool
shoes required by uor-k rs in
trades, but for the wooden sal
as are seen in pictures (,f |jfp
French and (iorman w-utn-n
principal bnversof wooden shoo
-. g'
of a value
i.syl vanta's
eomp
a ree
ieii Pen
ires and
rp 'Se
I 'r-nnsy 1
.. ^ai'.i"
'hat'--..fo--u:
charge
three sm:i
.1
t.
...
f'.r *iu one large i-v \. i
v
J. W. Kewkes V
Naturalist that ve-. *.i':
•springs. Tl.e hi«!-e-' j.—i
.record in which i: s--
This indicates that, vegeifttiottwi
occurred at a much earltoi' Stag!
earth's hi--'ory than'-has been ge
sunposod. -r-vailing form
tatios in tb« -e boated
7
waters
I.iatoms ab o mbut siuvrincfii
have been found in Kcva-i i a
laiure at which the veg' 'i'
springs is most tlourtahin-'.
occur in great abundance
in
tie
waters of hot. .springs.
A Ortain Oiticftl aII lry.
The truth is that theQurrcritet
whoso shibboleths are rotiiantk'i
i realism has got into the
--which is the same thing as I
that it has ceased to be criticism I
I ieism is mainly an affair of atialy- I
(Classification. These afford it I
i scope, and dealing successfull
them confers abundant dignity.
1
cry Scott or exalt Mr. IJider Hag!
I to be, the slave of an abstraction
I which nothing is loss critical.
be useful by way of shocking th
orate and inattentive into a eonip
i sion of your position, but it is no'
rism, because your eye is not
i object,, but on your position, whtc.
a
i in this case, is hopelessly outsi'1"
circle of operations of true cont* u
rary strategy. The realistic conl-
an
Y
1 ow.i our mam
.) Record
U
eet they war.dored
side by side, hand in hand. They s-iw
v
siiilists aro especially slow to pe
vi
this. Not only aro they singularly
1
to the success of their own party i
the novelists, whose material is
nively human iifo and character
else explain their heat','), hut the)
to insist that every one who den'
fiction at all should deal excite--'-,
with this material.—Scribner.
A Victim of Overconliile'"'®
"Mr. Billus," demanded his 'V
freezingly, "what ia tho mean)"
I that long brown hair on your
collar?"
"It means, madam," retorted
Billus, "that I'm a chuckle-headel .'
of the jayest sort. I'm a chump
ChumpUiwn That's what it
n"'n5'
Maria."
"Kx plain yourself, sir?"
"One of tho boys at the office piit
hair on my collar not fifteen
ago and said I didn't daro to let
there. I said I did daro to. 1
Wero a woman of too much sett-1'
notice Riich a little thing. 1 'J'.i
you wouldn't even see it. He ofhf-
1
bet mo five dollars you would,
a
at
n
took him up, Maria!"' snorted
las, "i took him up!"'- (Ihicago'trrt
1,1
How They «ot llfcli.
impertinent fiSo--I could havo married e-'
Shipper or Snapper if I'd
and both of those men whom I
ri
have since got rich, while v*'11
are
as poor as a church mouse.
lie—Of course.
J'ou all those years
v. Weekly.
I've been fjUjipCM"
They huV'-'U