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S. W. 3TALLMA.N, PIBT.ISHEH.
CANTON,
DAKOTA TER.
A HEALTH TO THE PAST.
Oh, the doar old Past!
That is dead ill 1W grave,
How young we were once!
And how gay and how brave
We are glad of it now
We will sigh for it never,
We will cherish our Past,
We will love it forever.
November is gray,
But all Jane was rose red
And lovo grows by help
0/ the times, it is said.
If we had not been gay,
We should rue it forever.
We have had our brave Past,
... We will nigh for it never.
Oh, the dear did Pant,
That is dead now, and still!
We drink to its health,
With a will, with a will.
Ofeink the glasses, in sign
That we sigh for it never.
What! a tear In the wine?
Comrade, hide it forever!
A STORY OF THE WAR.
The writer hereof has been the will
ing recorder of many truthful and re
markable adventures that occurred with
in his own knowledge during-tho great
"rebellion, but the reader maybe assured
that none more truthful was ever put in
print than that of the gallant "Color
Corporal," which lam now about to re
late. He would not thank me to give
his real name, and I shall speak of liim
merely as the corporal." Thousands
of just such experiences remain untold,
and will never be told but it is only
from individual examples of tho kind
tlat the public are to gauge tho merits
of the volunteers in the late war, and to
reach any appreciation, however inade
quate, of the bravery, devotion, and suf
fering of "that grand figure in our his
tory—the American private Boldier."
The adventure of the corporal was at
Port Hudson, in June, 1863. Our army
invested that formidable stronghold,
hardly second in strength to Vicksburg
above, and three weeks of bombarding
passed and found us still outside tho cit
adel, suffering from intense heat and dis
ease. Then followed tho disastrous Sun
day assault of the 14th, in which, from
daylight to dark, half the army, in two
columns, struggled to penetrate tho de
fenses, and was hurled back with a loss
of hundreds in killed and wounded. Af
ter that, almosta whole month of mining,
cannonading, sharpshooting and starv
ing was required to briug the gallant de
fenders to capitulation and surely there
was not a soldier in our own eadly-thin
ned army left to witness the surrender
who did not experience what Sir Walter
Scott calls—
the stern joy which warriors feel
In fcemcn worthy of tlieir steel."
The corporal was a brave, sturdy boy
oi *20, snort and stubby in figure,
but with boldness and resolution enough
inside of him for three of his stature.
Tall soldiers for the color-guard," was
the requirement when we first entered
the service but some months of active
service, with the ravages of disease and
the bullet, had weeded out the ranks,
and our giants of six feet four, five, arid
six were few enough. So the Colonel
began to act on the principle "the best
soldiers for the color-guard and none
better were to be found than this
corporal. He had been in the color
guard three months at the time of this
dreadful assault, and was with it all
through chat historic day. Hard enough
did (he brave color-guard fare in that
flight. The battalions in front of us
were urged one after another up against
'the almost-perpendicular fortification,
where they melted away beneath the
rifles of the defenders like the mists of
that morning before the sun that was
just rising. Onr turn came, and we,
too, surged forward with a clamor of
shouts and yells, right up the rocky face
of the hill, over the stumps and rooks,
and into the ditch. The colors were
flaunted in the very faces of the enemy,
and carried as far as the foot of man
could reach beneath the enfilading fire
of rotuid balls and buckshot that with
ered away our battalion. I was borne
from that angle of death quite early in
tho day with a shot through the body,
but the impression of the battle-scone
thaf photographed itself in my mind will
describe the whole day's work. It was
a continual rush of our blue-clad boys,
with bayonets fixed and yells of oncour
agement,up against that impassable
wall a continual spurt of flashes through
the gray mist from the works, and the
incessant cracking report of muskets,
and the sharp hissing of deadly mis
the ditch filled and the ground in
front strewn and encumbered with dead,
dying, and wounded—and thus the
bloody md useless work went on till
night, when our columns were with
drawn—"all that was left of them"—
and the ill-starred assault wasover.
Merely to show that the incident 1
am
about to relate was not mi exceptional
one in the experiences of that day of ac
oAnnlated honors, I quote from an. ar
ticle which appeared in the Galaxy of
Sept. 15,1866:
There was
point of'
no imveiy more conspicuous,
nor were any sufferings more fearful, nor any
enduranoe stonier, daring and after this
awratt,
than those of Brig. Gen. Halbert E.
Paine (lata Representative in Congress from
tbe
Klwaakee District of Wisconsin), who led
his
brigade
jn
a
charge acnes afield at another
atCaek. Btraok down by a minie-ball
which shattered
his leg, he lay on the field af
ter hia OTpwni wi
compelled to fall bach,
for fourteen boom,
most of the time in tbe
HMMiagaun, exposed to a
the works,
Md MM
oontinoal fire from
and enduring such torments from
tttnt, heat,
aod swarms of insects, is can
seareety be mBgnhehded.
A full dozen of
(fee brave fellows of this brigade were killed or
mcttnisd wfcSa isyisg to^riag him water, and,
flaally.afer
nightfall,
be
waa carried from the
deadthan aHve.
His leg was after-
It wooM
be
hard
to conceive
of aore acute tortures than the
wounded in
this assault endured, who were compelled to lio
where they* fell until darknees shielded the
succoring parties sent frouMMir lines. Death
on the battle-field in such a Situation is sternly
stripped of all its roinantio glories, and tenfold
horrors are superadded.
The necessity of suoh minor annals as
these to present for-posterity the prac
tical and interesting details of the war
will be at once seen when we learn that
the comprehensive histories dismiss this
bloody and ineffectual day's work with
a few brief lines. Thus Harper's His
tory of the Great Rebellion" (p. 474) has
only to say "of it:
Aftet
several
days' bombardment
assault
etilt
a
was made on Fort
point of
of the assault was
Weitzel. made
second
Hudson. The
attack
chief
was
the northeasterly corner
of the enemy's line of intrenchments.
The
in the defense known
But
more men,
made.
re-
a
nearer approach
the more
to
tho works, and on the left, while Grover
and
palpable
right,
Gen. Dwight
holding
an
attack on the
succeeded in carrying and
eminence which commanded
(joint
a vital
as
the
Citidal.
what had been thus gained
had
and
cost
700
no subsequent
assaults
Among
wete
tbe wounded
was Gen. Paine
The magnitude of the whole subject
makes this brevity unavoidable in the
historian, but such examples as this will
give us a better understanding of a
familiar anecdote of Napoleon. After
his first Italian campaign, when his re
nown already filled all Europe, some
civilian was congratulating him that
whatever might happen in the future his
place in history was secure. Pshaw,"
was the impatient response, all this is
nothing. If I should die to morrow all
that I have done would bo comprcssed
into two pages of history."
To return to our story. The muster
of the next morning showed that every
one of tho color-guard was killed,
wounded, or missing. Tho color-bearer
was shot dead as soon as he came under
fire the corporal who took the flag
from his dead hand was badly wounded,
and in succession every man of the six
was struck down, and the flag was res
cued from the very muzzles of tho
Confederate muskets by a gallant pri
vate, who dashed up through the storm
of firo and seized it from the ground
where it lay, with corpscs piled all about
and upon it. Three of the wounded
color-guard were brought from the
field two others were known to bo
dead, and it wa$ not doubted at the
time that our corporal was also killed.
He had been seen to fall as he caught
up the flag and waved ii over his head
with a cry of encouragement the staff
had passed to other hands, which he
never would -have permitted unless
badly hurt, and nothing had been seen
nor heard of him since. A trace was
agreed upon the second day after the
fight, and three hundred odd bodies,
blackened beyond recognition by the
fierce sun of that latitude, were buried
together in the soldier's grave. Tho
missing were all supposed to be among
them, and the corporal was reported
dead, with many others who were never
recognized.
But the siege dragged its slow length
along, and the capitulation came at last
on the 9th of July. And, much to tlie
surprise and delight of his comrades,
the corporal was found alive and well in
the hands of the enemy, and was re
leased by the surrender, with a few
others. He at once recounted his ad
ventures, which I will present in the
third person. The ball that prostrated
him before the works had merely cut the
scalp along the top of his head, pro
ducing a plentiful effusion of blood, and
knocking him senseless, but causing no
injury beyond this. He lay uncon
scious for a time, and awoke to find him
self lying flat on his back, his face
burned to a blister by the sun, and the
air all about him still ringing with the
noises of battle. He heard the voices
of the officers rallying the men in tho
hollow below, out of sight, and pres
ently several companies charging up the
hill, and again the musketry opened
hotly from the works. He had not
dared to stir lest he should be observed
by some watchful Confederate and shot
but,as the advancing troops rushed over
him with shout and cry, ag officer threw
up his arms aud fell directly upon the
wounded sufferer, his life-blood spouting
in his face. The assault failed, as did
every other during the day, and tho
little column fell back to the protection
of the hollow, leaving a large proportion
of dead on the field.
Lying on his back, his face shielded
from the sun bj tho body that had fallen
upon him, tho corporal passed several
hours of terrible suffering. Ho know
that he had tl*o strength to walk or crawl
ont of the range of the fire from tho
works, but since heriiad lain thus he had
seen the woundod who had tried to
escape from the ground shot dead. It
was neither merciful nor humane but
with men's blood raging at fever heat
on the field of battle mercy and humanity
arc apt to be slighted. His thirst was
almost intolerable his tonge and mouth
were parched and dry ho was stiff and
soro from long continuing in ane pos
ture, and form the dreadful weight of
the corpse that lay like lead upon him
but he dared hot shake it off, lest the
movement should draw the ready bullets
of the enemy to him.. And it was well
for him that be did not 1 Once during
the day a volley of Confederate bullets
directed at some of our men who wore
rallying in one of tlie hollows passed
directly over him. One of the balls cut
his Bleeve two, in rapid succession,
struck the dead body above him with a
dull thud. It was death protecting life
from death!
Apiece of bark, peeled from a Btump
by a bullet, lay near his head. By glow
and cautious advances he moved hia
hand to it, grasped it, and carried it to
his month. Tormented by thirst as he
was, his oantion was necessarily so great
in this that it occupied half an hour..
"I knowit was as much ashalf an hour,"
he said in relating ibis-story but if I
judged by my feelings all that horrible
time, I should say it was half a day.
He chewed the bark eagerly, and the
excitement of the salivary glands greatly
mitigated his acute thirst. A cup of
cold water to this poor sufferer would
have been a boon more precious than
anything else in the whole world and
he was btft one of the hundreds who lay
enduring these indescribable agonies all
over -that field. But such is war.
The long summer day ended at last,
and the shattered regiments of tho as
saulting columns were withdrawn be
yond musket range. The corporal
patiently waited until darkness had set
tled upon the scene of blood, and then
he ventured to relieve himself of
the dead weight that held him down.
He sat up and stretched his arms
with that feeling of relief which only
the man knows who is released from the
chains that have long bound him. Still
fearful that he might be observed, he
would not rise to his feet, but crawled
stealthily down toward the hollow. A
figure holding a musket suddenly ap
peared before him. He knew it could
not be an^jof.our men, for all who were
able to moj6 had been withdrawn some
hours. Suspecting the character and
employment of this man, he turned and
cautiously made off at right angles with
the line of his first movement. A few
yards in that, direction brought him to
another picket—for such they were. The
Confederates had thrown out a chain of
soldiers to make certain that the assault
had been abandoned for tho day, and
the corporal was inside their lines.
Lying silent and motionless, he heard
another Confederate, apparently a non
commissioned officer, come up with or
ders for the pickets to return to the
works. The soldier thus relieved took
three stops, and tumbled over the pros
trato body of the corporal. As he fell,
his hand passed over tho latter's face,
and its warmth instantly told him that
tho man was alive.
"Ho! Tank," he oxclaimed. "Git
up here. Can you walk
Tho corporal realized that this was no
time for artifice or stratagem, and at
once dccided to surrender, for fear of
worse consequences than capture should
he be detected in any deceit.
"Yes," he said, "I surrender. lean
walk I ain't much hurt but I'm mad
with thirst. For God's sake give mo
some water!"
"I spoke from my heart, then, if I
over did in my life and the appeal
moved my captor at once. He wishing
his cantecn from his shouldor as he
marched me over the dead bodies of my
comrades, through the ditcht and up into
the stronghold and eagerly seizing it from
his hand, I drank its blessed contents—
more than a quart of pure, cold water,
without once stopping to take breath.
It seemed tus though life, strength, hope,
everything came back to me in that
draught. I never knew so happy a mo
ment in my life." Such were his words.
Inside the Confederate works the cor
poral was allowed the liberty of certain
bounds, on giving his parole not to at
tempt to escape, and, with the exception
of the novelty and inconvenicnce of mule
moat and dried peas for subsistence,
with scanty rations at that, he met with
no further adventure till the capitulation
released him, as described.
AltTI&ICIAL TOBACCO.
Tobacco leaves for the manufacture of
Havana cigars are now being produced
in New York, thanks to the industry of
some of her citizens, aided by the pro
gress of chemical science. The material
used is a kind of brown wrapping paper,
made of straw especially for this purpose.
The paper, after coming from the mill,
is saturated with the juice pressed from
tobacco stems and other offal then the
sheets are rolled through a machine,
which gives them tho perfect appear
ance of the tobacco leaf, and the pecul-.
iar spots are printed on them as on cal
ico. The paper thus prepared is espe
cially adapted for wrappers around the
cigars, and is such an improvement on
the natural tobacco leaf (being much
stronger, more economical and easy of
manipulation) that the Havana cigar
makers desire no other wrapping for
cigars, and import it largely from New
York and no Havana steamer leaves here
at present without taking ont quantities
of it. These figure up, according to
some authorities, to 5.000 reams in one
cargo, and occasionally as much as 30,
000 reams of this artificial tobacco leaf
has been oxported.
It is stated that this tobacco-flavored
straw paper makes also a filling superior
to the genuine leaf and it is impossible
to detect'the delioate film of paper inter
lapped with some broken leaves of real
tobacco in the finished cigar, which the
paper so very neatly holds in form. Be
sides this, the paper leaves no residuum
other than a pare light gray or nearly
white ash, just like that of the best qual
ity of tobacco. —Scientific American.
MlIS. KEARNEY'S MISTAKE.
Torrence Kearney, of Kansas City, was
unkind to his wife, and sho said that she
would kill herself. He retorted, Kill
and be blowed," and left tho house.
Mrs. Kearney had no suicidal intention,
but she wished to scare her husband into
good behavior. She suspended a rope,
stood on a cnair, and adjusted a noose
around her neck, so that she might jump
off when she heard him coming. She
calculated ho would cut her down before
she had choked much, and he would be
lieve her effort genuine. All seemed to
work well. Sho heard his steps in the
hall, and made ready to leap. She heard
his hand on the door-knob and kicked
the chair away. She heard him turn
back and go out of the house, and about
that time she was strangled to uncon
sciousness. Her struggles, however,
alarmed somebody in an adjoining room,
and Beverai physicians spent the night in
reviving her.'
1
CALIFORNIA has more sheep than it
can pasture.
I ARM AND HOME.
Two Pictures.
An Old farm-house, with moadows wide, V»
And sweet with olover on each side
A bright-eyed boy who looks from ont
The door, with woodbine wreathed about,
And wishes his one thought all day
«WhM*rooiadfl/awar
-i
From thisdull spot tho world to see,
How happy, happy, happy,
How happy I would be!"
Amid the city's constant din,
A man who round the world has been
Is thinking, thinking a)l day long:
Oh
I
if I could only.traco once moroj
The field-path to the farm-house door,
The old green meadows could I see,
How happy, happy, happy,
How happy I would be!"
•T(
Farm. Halting*.
EVERY farmer should gather a quantity
of road-dust during the summer weather,
which will be found very useful for the
fowls to dust themselves in during the
winter to rid themselves of vermin, also
for applying to cattle when troubled that
way.
PBOF. JOHNSON says from 95 to 99 per
cent, of agricultural plants derive their
entire mass (weight) directly or indirect
ly from the atmosphere.
ONR of tho very best things to re
member in the accomplishment of road
work is the fence corners. Too often
the sides of the road become the nur
sery for the vilest of weeds, and far bet
ter than turning over the rail to no pur
pose is the removal of these miserable
pests.
CANARY seed, worth $6 to $6.50 per
bushel, it is suggested can be profitably
grown—at least enough for homo use.
Sow the seed early in rich soil, as it is
liable to injury by summer drought.—
Massachusetts Pltowman.
THE growing of sweet potatoes is be
coming quite general among farmers
hereabout, and we may expect very soon
to have new varieties better suited to the
climate than tho old kinds now used. A
writer in The Prairie Farmer recom
mends Pimento and White Brazilian.—
Detroit Tribune.
NINE hours' work in tho field, now
that we have so many labor-saving im
plements, is enough for horse or man.
Two hours' rest at noon will be well fo/
the horses, giving them time to eat, and
opportunity to digest their food. The
tenth of the time thus taken from work
will bo more than regained in the better
health of the animals, and their, ability
to work the other nino hours.
THE following directions aro given for
keeping meat in good condition through
the summer months Pack the beef
well in a barrel, and for every ten pounds
of beef take one pound of rock salt, add
nitre at the rate of three ounces to 100
pounds beef. Boil in five gallons water
(or enough to cover the beef) and skim
off well. Pour the pickle over the beef
boiling hot."
WABTS ON Cows' TEATS.—Touch the
warts every day for a week' with nitric,
nitro-muriatic, or pyroligneous acid, be
ing careful not to get the acid on any
part except tho warts. We have been
nmformly successful by using a sharp
pointed stick dipped into nitric acid, and
then transferring the adhering drop to
the wart It haB never failed in remov
ing warts from the hands of children or
other persons. It does not cause a sore
or leave a scar.
A FARMER writes: The apples kept
through'the winter for family use should
be barreled and headed, kept inn cool
place, say between 35 degrees
and" 40 degrees, and not handled or
picked over at all, except as they are
wanted, for use. I have tried both ways,
and find the more apples are disturbed
and picked over the faster they will rot.
By putting up good, sound apples care
fully in barrels and letting them alone,
I have had apples until apples came
again, which I am confident could not
have been done if they had been mussed
over every few weeks."
EVERY boy residing in the country
should bo taught how to bud, graft, and
propagate plants from seeds and cut
tings, as well as receive a few lessons in
vegetable physiology at least enough to
enable him to determine the principal
organa of reproduction, in order that he
may know how the different varieties of
^eoraivbecomo mixed when planted near
together, as well as many other kinds of
cultivated plants. Five dollars' worth
of books and a conrse of six lectures
given in the country school-house1 or
elsewhere by some one who knows how
to explain such things in simple, easily
understood language would, in nine
cases-out of ten,, make a boy believe that,
the farm was, as it is, the best placo in
the world for amusing and instructive
study.—Rural New Yorker.
Domestic Economy.
PIE CBUST.—Four cups of flour, one
of lard, one of butter, one of iCe-water,
one teaspoonful of salt mix with a
knife, and handle as little as possible.
Babe in a quick oven.
IN a well-appointed house a conven
ient kitchen is all-important. A good
stove or range with a strong draught and
regulator, and above all, a steady, clear
fire, well attended to and kept up, no
good management will overlook. Great
annoyances can bo overcome byjthe help
of a steady firo, and mauy a nice dinner
has been spoiled for the Want of it
SOFT BREAKFAST WAFFLES. One
quart of milk, one pound of flour, half
pound of but:er, five' eggs, two table
spoons of yeast Mix thOT over'night
and bake in the morning.
v,'!
LIQUID OBSOFTSATTCE. —One cupand
a half of sugar, one half cflp of butter,4
and yolk of. one egg beaten together
add tho well-beaten white of the' egg
with a teaspoonful of boiliag water»:
SuPEMxrotrs HAIB. G. C. B. asks
how hair in the baick of the neck can be
permanently cured withont pain or dis
figuring the person. So far as at 'pres
ent can be ascertained, the information
41
he desires most be classed with the
unknowable." The razor and depilatory
powders furnish only temporary relief
from the malady, and the use of the lat
:tojr, ^rsisted in,
j. jDrasoiVB two ajgncep.of feorai in three
pints of boiling water, and before it is
cold add one teaspoonful of the spirits
of camphor, and bottle for use. A table*
spoonful of this mixture, with, an .equal
quantity of tepid water applied daily
with a soft brush, preserves and beauti
fies the teeth, extirpates all tartarous ad
hesion, a^esbs decay, induces a healthy
action of tWgrims,-and makes the teeth
pearly white.
$O CIIEAN JJBUSHES.—Hair Jirushed, or
any other brtish^s whi(& become oily,
dirty or greasy, may be cleansed in a few
minutes by washing in moderately warm
water into whichta f^W drops
ot
^pa^its
of ammonia have been dropped. After
washing, shako out the water, and leave
the brush in the sun to dry. The am
monia is not only very cleansing, but
the bristles will not be softened as when
washed in soap and water.
THE GERMAN EMPIRE.
The 1'opulntion Equals that of the United
States—Remarkable Recent Increase.
[From the I/ondon Economist.]
The German Statistical Office has just
published an abstract of the results of
the census of 1875. This document
shows a large increase in the population,
if we comparo it to tho foregoing census.
On the 31st of December, 1875, the
total of the population amounted to 42,
757,812 inhabitants. Oh -tho 1st of De
cember, 1871, 41,058,792 inhabitants
were accounted, including, of course,
the troops, then stationed in France.
According to these figures, there has
been an increase of 1,699,020 innabitants
within four years, or as much as 1.01 per
cent, a year. Within the years 1867-71,
the population had increased by 951,
617, or only 0.58 per cent, (average) a
year. (In the latter figures Alsace and
Lorraine have been included.) Within
the last census period, the population
therefore increased by 700,000 inhabi
tants, or 0.78 per cent, more than within
the foregoing period of four years.
Only a part of this difference may be
ascribcd to the war between Germany
and Franco. The principal reasons of
the increase He in a reduction of emigra
tion and a strong over-balance of births
against- deaths. If we look at the fig
ures of eacli separate country we find
that the population of Prussia alone in
creased by 1,082,215 inhabitants, while
its average yearly increase hits amounted
to 1.07 per bent., against 0.69 of the
foregoing period of four years. The
increase was, however, greatest in Sax
ony, where the population of two mil
lions and a half increased by 200,000 in
habitants—that is, 1.92 per cent, a year,
against 1.3 per cent, in the foregoing
census period. In Bavaria, Wurtem
berg, Hesse and Badoh, the growth of
the population has not been as stroDg as
in Prussia and Saxony. Of the other
twenty States, only Mecklenburg,
Lubeck-Waldeck and Alsace-Lorraine
have suffered such a reduction in tbe
number of their inhabitants. The re
duction is, however, very much less im
portant than it had been in the fore
going period of four years, and the sole
cause was emigration, which in these
States took place on a larger scale—in
Alsace-Lorraine on account of political
reasons, in the other states on account
of the slow state of industrial progress.
DANIEL DREW'S LOSSES.
UNCLE DAN'L Drew has had to tell
how it all happened to the'attorney of
his assignee. His fust losses was in
eighteen hnnder seventy-three on the
corner of Nor:west." He lost about a
million." The next lurge loss was in
Way-bosh—Waybosb 'n' Can'da Sethern,
at least a million." The next big loss
was fifteen or sixteen months ago. He
was veryshortof Waybosh," and "they
bought it all in.'' He lost about twel'
hundred thousan' there." Then he lost
on Lake Shoro mor'n three or four
hunder. thousan' dollars an' Canton, he
lost throe or four hunderd thousan'
there." TIK trouble was largely his
brokers, who would sell Lake Shore and
Canton, although thoy had ir argins. It
all (gune from speckerlation.'I^And, as
ho held large sums in trust for his grand
children and failed to securo them, they
lost their property while, the Madison4
and Wesieyan Universities, which he
undertook to endow, not with endow
ments but by paying an annual sum of
interest on endowments, are sadly "out"
of funds. He did his business diffrunt
from anybody elm—depended upon the
men to be honest" The worst things
about his misfoitin" is that he didn't
dp right when.ho could of done it," and
his grandchildren are stripped of their
fortune'. He Was evidently hot a very
shrewd or sharp old man, but blundered
into a large fortune by speculating in
Btpckty.
which, .as it was not woh by any
great foresight or sagaOify, even the sa
gacity of Wall street, was easily lost, and
tho bottom of everything fell out One.
of his queer streaks is his apparently
earnest piety. He took a prominent
part insinging. prayiug and exhorting
whenever opportunity offered, and evi
dently believed that he could and ought
to sustain theological institutions by run
ning them with the profits of his gam
bling. U:
THTTTmi
BOYS and girls under Id years of age
are not hereafter permitted to work in
tha factories of' Massachusetts. The
law passed1!#- tbef Itegisiatore on the
subject has gone into effect
CUHIOVS WAOEM
The following anecdote illustrated the
truth of the proverb anent the slips be
tween the cop MM! ihe tips: A few years
before his death the Emperor Nicholas
of Bnssia sent a looktag-glasa of rare
ifaie «hd beauty, with$#embas8y, to the
Empiwss of China. The looking-glass
had to be carried all the way from St
Petersburg to Pekin by human hafads.
Despite the immense distanoe, which
had to,be performed in this manner, tho
Jodking-glass safely reached China bnt,
in the meantime, difficulties had broken
out between Russia and Clhina. The Son
of Hegven neither admitted the embassy
nor did he accept the present A courier
was dispatched to St. Petersbnrg, who
asked the Emperor what was to be done
with the looking-glass. The Emperoir
Replied that it should be carried back by
the same route and in the same manner.
When he gave this order the Gipnd
Duke Michael happened to be present,
and offered to lay a wager with the Em
peror to the effect that the looking-glass
would be broken on the way back to St
Petersbnrg. The Emperor aooeptedthe
wager, and the bearers of the looking
glass received stringent orders to be. as
careful as possible. If they should
break it on the road they would be se
verely punished, but if they should bring
it back safely they would receive a hand
some reward. They carried it back with
the most incredible care, forty men car
rying it by turns, and safely reached St.
Isaac's palace in St. Petersburg with it,
where the Emperor stood with his broth
ers at tho window of the palace, and
laughed at having won tho bet. But on
the staircase of the palace one of the
carriers slipped his foot and fell down,
dragging several of his companions after
him, and the prcciouB looking-glass was
broken into a thousand pieces. The
Grand Duke, therefore, won his bet.
CHARACTER READING.
An old chap, as. broad between
the shoulders as a door is wide,
and the dust on his boots proving
that he had entered tho city by the
highway, took a seat in tho Grand Circus
Park yesterday. There were half a
dozen young follows on the benches
around him, and one of them offered to
wager with another that he could read the
stranger's character corrcctly by looking
into his face. Preliminaries bciug set
tled he commenced:
He was educated for tlie pulpitj I
should say, but, having such big foot, he
turned his attention to mashing hills.
He is not a bad man, yet ho loves
whisky, and won't pay his honest debts.
I should say that ho thrashed his wife,
dead-headed hotels, and had rather eat
than work."
The stranger didn't seem to hear, but,
waiting until the young man bad fin
ished, he walked over to him, lifted him
up by the hair, flopped him over the
bench, and sat down with the remark
"If tine re is anything else peculiar
about my looks let's have it"
If there was the young man didn't
say so .—Detroit Free Press.
A NEW WEAPON.
The Times of India says: "A
pistol that oan kill at 500 yards has
been patented by Capt. Burton. The
butt is that ot an ordinary pistol the
barrel is that of a good rifle, cut short,
but leaving sufficient' turn' to send the
bullet on its errand with the proper
spin. The chief object is to send a rifle
bullet nt an enemy or at game without
having to use the shoulder, especially
when on horseback. To accomplish this
the banel is fitted with^i steel handle to
be grasped by the left band, while the
arm is extended as in archery. The re
coil is scarcely felt it does not affect
the firer so much as tho kick to Jhe
shoulder would do. The pistol can also
be.used with one hand like au ordinary
pistol. Tho inventor has also provided
a patent safety bullet which will explode
as a shell when it crashes against the
bones of large game, but will pass
through brushwood or through tbe skin
of a wild animal like an ordinary ball. It
will not explode if let fall upon its apex,
but if fired into a box of ammunition
twill blow up everything
BRAIN
WHIG IIT.
Dr. Robert Lawson, in the Lancet,
gives the'brain-weights of some luna
tics who have died in the West Riding
Asylum. Six range from fifty-eight to
sixty-one onnoes, four of them over
fifty-eight which was the weight of
Daniel Webster's brain, so often spoken
of. The lunatic of sixty-one ounce
avoirdupois was 71 years of age, and his
brain must have weighed sixty-four when
he was 45 years old, and this was tho
weight of-the biggest head on record—
the great Cuvier. This, the Popular
Science Monthly thinks, proves *lm*
brain-weight is not an index of mental
power. It would be, if it was certain
that these asylum patients did not get
there from the very fact of an. overdose
of brains.. A. powerful taervous organ
ism often wean out the body, and the
reaction is mental death. If it hadn't
been for his stomach, bow easy it would
have been to have made a lunatic of
Daniel Webster I They used to say it
was politically uncertain whether he
wasn't one, ariy way* S )£Jj IJ
TO°
gjftstf
1
-«?I HOPB you undeiitaad^sir, -that I'm
not leaving because I've any fault to
find with the place or with the other
serarahts, or-with my mistress, or your
self. Far from that—I should bo most
happy* at aiiy time, to give the plaoe a
ch^ractorJ"---jpwncA.
-W 'ip •!. t— —,—sua* Iff
SBEEPJSB.
Sheep-raising as an industry is over
worked in the southern part of Califor
nia. A party of capitalists propose to
erect an establishment near Fresno, in
that State for the purpose of butchering
sheep and: placing the various portions
of the animal in a.marketable condition.
The pelts wilt bo saved the horns and
hoofs made into glue the tallow ren
dered from the carcass and th® reeidue
made into soap. The country *is over
stocked, and it is with difiUralty
wool or sheep can be parted with at any
price.
CENTMMiflAL HtXltf 1%
WILLIAM
ovum mm.
Througn atom and oalm the years h«T« led
Onr nation on from stage to stage
A century's space, until wa tread
ihe tfattaholdof utoihefr age.
We set tbere^ o'er oiir pathway swept,
A torrei I stream qt hlood a«d fire
And thank tbe raling power who kept
Onr sacred league of State* eatlre,
Oh checkered train of yean, farewell,
With »U thy strifes and hopes and fear*
Bat-with us let thy memories dwell,
To warn and lead the ooming yeaby
by
-5
•'•Kf
And thou, the new-beginning age,
Warned
the past and not in vain,
Write on a faireri whiter pace
The record of thy happier reign.,
PLEASANTRIES.
A MAN of miens—The physiognomist.
ADVICE tg, fishmongers in warm
weather—"Dad. gently, with the her
ring." '"5
THE comedian Hackett's widow, says
the Philadelphia Bulletin, is something
of a Hackettress.
a
A DISCONSOLATE Widower had in
scribed on his wife's tombstone: "Tears
Oan not restore her, therefore I weep."
How MKIIANOHOIIY the moon must feel
when it has enjoyed the fullness of pros
perity, and gets red need to its last quar
ter.
AN exchange pawndors on tbe Eastern
troubles and lncidly remarks: Turkey
is redeemed. At least the Sultan took
it from his undo."
HABBIBT HOSHEB is coming to the
Centennial. She is worthy of a niche
in the temple of fame she has never
been called Hattio.
HBZIHBOIID went insane, and now Dr.
Ayer is a lunatic. It is too much strain
on a man's nerve tissues, trying to cure
everything for a dollar.
Oh! could
I
stand where Adam stood,
And with the tempter grapple,
Not Satan's wiles nor woman's smiles
Conld make me bite that apple.
SCOTCHMAN asked an Irishman:
"Why were half farthings coined in
England Pat's answer was: "To give
Scotchmen an opportunity of subscrib
ing to charitable institutions."
THE editor of the Hartford Times
says: "Well keep ahead." Glad to
hear it. Don't see how he's got ololig
without one as long as he has.—Roches
ter Democrat.
AN
Illinois Judge has decided that a
washing bill cannot be collected, and
any experienced washerwoman will tell
him that he is right six times out of ten,
which is probably better tban the aver
age of his decisions.
EVEBY journalist (says Catlin, of the
New York Commercial Advertiser)
has his own opinion of another jour
nalist who attempts suicide and fails,
thus destroying tho point of an item.
'MORNING, James, I sec your gals ba'
got anew guv'ness What sort of a pus
son is she "Well, hi can't 'zackly
say, as hi don't 'ave much to do with
'er class, but hour ladies down stairs
don't think much of 'er!"
AN old author quaintly remarks:
"Avoid argument with ladies. In spin
ning yarns among silks and satins, a
man is sure to be worsted and twisted
ma when worsted and twisted he may
consider himself wound up."
A PROVIDENCE girl's expressive de
scription of the Centennial show, from
the Pr'ss "Philadelphia, June, 187G.
—Dear Mother—Oh! Ob!! Oh!!!
Oh!!!!!! O-o-o-o-o-o-o-6-o Your
affectionate daughter, MABY.
AT a young ladies' seminary recently,
during an examination in history, one
of the not most promising pupils was
interrogated: Mary, did Martin LuthCi.'
die a natural death?" "No," was tho
reply "he was excommunicated by a
bull."
LAST news from the spirit world—
Medium: The spirit of the late Mr.
Jones is present" Jones' widow (with
emotion): I hope you are happy,
Jones." Jones (raps out):' 'Far happier
than 1 ever was on earth." Jones'
.widow: ''Oh, Jones, then you must^be in
heaven." .Jones: "On th? con
trary ."
SAB
AH BERNHARDT, the famous French
actresb, is almost supernaturally ethereal
—or, to state the truth plainly, thin. It
is reported that Alexandre Dumas, when
he saw the picture in the sakm repre
senting the actress frith her great Rus
sian greyhound lying at her feet, re
marked thoughtfully: ''Ah, yes, I see—a
dog keeping guard over a bone."
I N O A I
While much that is good can be cdbfi
dently expected in Detroit boys there
are, alas! a few who have no memory
for deeds of kindness, fciuch a one was
seated in the shade of the postofflce jes
terday, devouring s»banana, when a boy
acquaintance came along and wanted a
taste.
"Hain't 'nuff for only me," was the. re
ply-
"Come, now, Jack, gin a feller a small
bite. You know I've alius bin good to
"You nevfcr dOhe nuthin' for me zl
knows on," replied the eater.
"I hain't,, eh 1 Hain't I saved yo from
lickings Hain't I lied for ye
"That was yer dooty," 'mumbled the
boy with tho banana.
"See here, Jack," conHnucdthootHer,
rising to his ,f«£.v"d'ya 'member the
time when you was small and side and
had fc-sore heel I was going by the
ttoutt oneday,[&' yiWl^kedw&diuid
TpWOt that I le| yoi)r)jr$t me all over with
the penstock you up. Was
that my dooty Is there any other boy
in Detroit who will do that far ye
It was a powerful appeal, but jusfras
it was finished, the last of the banana
was crowded into the ungrateful boy's
throat—^Detroit Free- Press.
tents may be seen near tbe
Centennial also tipsy gents Worcet
ter Press.
mm