Newspaper Page Text
A PASSING CLOUD.
A little cloud wont slowly tailing Across the sunny sky; A woeful UUI wind went walling Through the tree-tips high; A sudden sunbeam danced no. . ' And no the Khowor vit by. A little Trown carat stealing arter A guwty II tie sigh ; Apeaily tear-drop drowned Ihe laughter it a out i v ova : A sudden smite lUiu-ed In the batty dimples And ho the stiower went by. A BIT OF POVERTY. I know a Utile maiden In a most tremendous bonnet, All manufactured out of black. With nodding popples on It. Hers'oes are two old rubbers. Kui i of many a bole and leak, And- bless you these are only worn On one gay of the week. But her laugh Is molteu silver, and her hair Is burnished gold, And tbe treasures In her Jewelled eyes Are riches manifold. And no one on the broad round earth Is happier than she, Although t i lit : le maiden la aa poor aa ahe can be. W. T. P,ters. CROOKED WAYS. HY OMAULKS DIMMING. Like a good many otber young men, and women too, (or that matter, I was once badly afflicted with cacoethr s scribendi. Of course greater evils might bare befallen me; I might have been seized with a passion for whisky or gambling, b'.t. still, my cacoethes scribendi was serious enough. During my college days the symptoms showed themselves plainly; hut the malady did not really assume its true and awful proportions until 1 had taken my de gree. Then forsooth, it fastened upon me like a leech aud before many montbs elapsed it over-mastered me completely. In accordance with my mother's wish, I went to Dundee, os tensibly to read law with my uncle, but it was a mere pretence of law-nad-ing, for the mornings that I ought to have spent over Blackstone were de voted to the composition of a novel and the afternoons to the polishing of some poems. Uncle Dick shook his head gravely and remonstrated, some times in sadness and sometimes in an ger. 'That scribbling will never amount to anything,' he would say contempt ously. This was hard to bear; but my lofty aspirations sustained me, ami, firm in my belief of ultimate success, I scribbled on and over, and bombarded all the magazines in the country with My manuscripts. The magazines did not open their columns tome, and I fell back at last upon the weekly newspa pers, and especially upon the Boston Weekly Palladium. That journal printed my essays and a certain assist ant editor, whose initials were F. B. S.,' sent me polite notes from time to time. It was something to see my pro ductions' in print; it would have been more had these propuctions one in a while brought in a check. But they never did; they elic ited Konly polite notes from F. B. S. Finally, I wrote a letter to the assist ant editor upon the subject, and by re turn post 1 received a reply. It was sent to my private box at the post-oflice but, to my great amusement, was di rected to 'Jane Bell,' instead of 'John.' My handwriting was not very distinct, and perhaps a trifle feminine, and the signature, upon which 1 rather prided myself, certainly left it an open ques tion whether John or Jane were meant. The note, too, began, 'Miss Bell, In reply to your ques tion, 1 would say that this Journal pays its regular corps of writers. We are glad to receive your articles, and per haps later may make adequate com pensation therefor; but, as a young writer, it would be wiser for you to think at prosent only of securing a foot hold. You have an excellent chance of success in the end; but much patience is necessary at the outset. Please say whether I shall direct farther communnications to Jane Bell, Miss Bell, or Mrs. Bell. At present I do not venture to give you any title, 'Very truly yours, 'F. B. Screven.' This lettor at once amused and piqued me. It was pleasant and rather en couraging, but it was plain the writer sot me down as an impecunious young women, whereas the truth was I had a very gair income of my own, and was a six-foot, mustached specimen of masculinity. The idea of playing the role ol Miss Jane Bell tickled my fancy, nd therefore, giving my imagination free rein, upon the spur of the moment I sat down and wrote as follows: F. B. Screnen, At present I also am in a quandary, for I do not know whether I ought to address you as Madame, Monsiour, or Mademoiselle. The last title is mine just now, although of course I feol at liberty to change it when I choose, or rather when tho propor opportunity offers itself. Per haDS matrimonv would be a more profitable speculation than literature. Do not, however, suppose I am depend ent upon my pen for my bread and but ter. In this case, I fear, the butter would be very thin indeed. No; tbe fates have given me most of the lux uries of life; but these, of course, do not satisfy me. The reason why I wrote as I did about payment because I thought if they were good enough to print they were good enough to be paid for. It seems I was mistaken; but, to show you that I take your ad vice, I send you another essay. I will at bast try to secure a foothold, and ray that greater success may fol ow. I am, dear Madame, Monsieur, or Mademoiselle Screven. 'Sincerely your, 'Jane Bell.' 'Laughing in my sleeve, I sent this communication off, and planned that, if tho assistant editor sent me a friend ly reply, I would open a correspondence in my role of Miss Jane Bell and fool F. B. Screven as never a man hud been fooled beforo. Judge then of my dismay when I received a letter in what I knew to be Screven's writing, but not written on office paper, me signed Francis Bertram Screven. "A woman, by Jove!" I exclaimed there arwl lien in flip nnst-omce. whereat a small boy who was standing nib, nearly swallowed, in astonishment' the postage-stamp he was licking. Ithrust tbe letter in my pocket awl did not rtatl it until I was safely at home. Thus the missive ran: "Deab Miss Bti.L Your piquant The Owosso Times. VOL. III. letter prompts me to write you a reply, not as an assistant editoi, but as a wo man like yourself, who is toiling up the steep path that leads to I'arnassus. 1 might have known you were a woman, and a young one at that, be cause, although there is a touch of inaseuliue strength in your essays and poems, still there is, too a- sweetness that is only feminine. I think that women more often have this favor of masculinity than men bavo of that tenderness which tr essentially and purely feminine. Were I in a position of authority, I should very soon dis miss the cut-and-dried hack-writers whose contributions, although smooth and nolished. lack the freshness, the spontaniety, which is characteristic of the contributions we sometimes receive from unknown writers, and notably lroru you. But, you see, i am merely an assistant editor? and a person of no consequence at . all, except as I am useful to do the work, all the glory ot which goes to tlje distinguished indi viduals whose names are emblazoned at the head of the paper There! that sounds better, 1 am afraid; but, my dear Miss Bell, the fates baye not been r o kind to me as to you, and it is, not lor fame I write, bnt for the where withal to keep me fed and clothed. What makes it perhaps harder is that have known what it is to have my bread and butter fresh and sweet, ay, and honey with it too, and therefore the thin slices that are doled out to me now taste drier by comparison. 'Forgive me for boring you with so much about myself. Pray write to me gain. Y our luxurious stationery, with faint, delicate perfume pervading t, is itself a delight, "Sincerely yours, Miss Frances Bertram Sckevkn.' As I read this letter I felt myself a scoundrel. My arst impulse was to write a letter of confession to Miss Screven; but the desire to keep up tiie iorrespondence and try my band at omposmg letters that should be sweet ly feminine overcame my scruples, and I sent off the following reply: 'Dear Miss Screven: Instead of boring me, the glimpse you gave me of your life interested me more than 1 can tell. But, at the same time, the contrast between your life and mine made me envious. Perhaps your lot is a hard one, but it is at least brave and independent. Here am I, an only daughter, petted and spoiled to a shame ful degree, and bound by fetters of luxury. Yes, 1 envy you. Sitting here this morning in my silly pink-curtained boudoir, with a Dresden shepherdess simpering at me from the top of my escritoire, I feel my idle, luxurious life hemming me and overpowering me, as the perfume of tuberoses makes heavy and sickening tbe atmosphere of a room that., should be flung open to the fresh air and sunshine, I would change places with you to-day if 1 could.' When I reached this pu nt of my let ter, I read over approvingly what I had written. Arrived at the lines descrip tive of my imaginary boudoir, I smiled as my glauce fell upon I boot-jack fn one corner and the shaving-apparatus in another. Glancing at the place where the Dresden shepherdess ought to have been, my eye fell instead upon a pipe, which I took down and tilled, and then resumed my writing with con siderable complacency: . 'This may sound to you rather school girlish, and I may as well confess that it is not many years perhaps months would be more accurate since I left the precints of a finishing-school. Finishing-school, indeed! Much I learned there besides the art of doing up my hair! However, the defects of my ed ucation I must remedy myself, and I try every day to devote a few hours to serious study. But it is very hard to seclude myself long enough to accom plish anything. People call; I must go to garden-parties; I must drive out with my mother; I must hold solemn conclave with tbe milliner and dress maker; In short, I have constant de mands of a most frivolous nature upon my timo. All this you will probably laugh at; and, lest I write more foolishly, I will bring this letter to a close. If you are not quite disgusted witti me, do write again soon. Faithfully yours, Jane Bell.' I may as well confess that I thought this letter a successful imitation of the epistles that I had myself received from feminine lianas, it sounaed en thusiastic and very 'missish,' and I sent it off that afternoon with a bold heart Jack.' quoth my uncle, who met me as I came from the post-office, 'I verily believe you are making an ass of your self over some girl. I don t believe it is the muses you are courting; it is a miss.' And with this he passed on, chuckling at his own wit. As the days went on, however, my uncle s words seemed in a fair way to prove true. I thought only of Miss Screven. My novel I left untouched. and my rhyming dictionary accumulat ed dust slowly. Fled were my visions of astonishing the world with my genius. I lived only for the mall from Boston. As I re-read tho letters I received from Miss Screven, I can make some excuse for my infatuation. They were frank and outspokeo, and sometimes, indbed. tinged with cynicism; but through them there breathed a sym natliy. a tenderness, that touches me oven now as I read them over. Final ly, at my solicitation, she sent me her photograph, which snowed her to be a regular-featured, large eyed woman, of rather a serious cast of countenance in deed, but with a lurking smile in her mouth that i could not but confess was a large one. She was not a beauty, J saw that, but she bad an earnest, in teresting face, that grew upon me ev ery day. Little by little I gave myself up to thoughts of her by day aud dreams her by night. Her letters I awaited with a feverish impatience, and if one were delayed J was in a torment. make no excuses for my folly, dear sii or madam; but pray do not forget that 1 was only one-and-twenty thon, and had fed myself plentifully with novels and uoetrv. And this was my lirst love! Coventry Patmore says in o of his poems, Well, heaven bo thanked, my first love failed A, heaven be thanked, all Aral, love do! This was a sentiment 1 could not echo, for at that time it seemed to mo that it I were separated lroui my tair un seen sweetheart my life would be stale, flat, and unprofl table. The correspondence was kept up all the summer and autumn; but in De cember there befell what was to me an awful calamity. Miss. Screven did not write. I sent imploring letter alter letter, but no response gladdened me. 'Has she jilted you V said Uncle Dick heartlessly, when be noted my pale face. In truth, I could not sleep nor eat; I was consumed with fear ami anx iety. What could have befallen her? 1 endured it for just ten days, and then I packed my satchel and went to Boston. Bah! what a day it was when I arrived there! It had snowed a lit tle, and then a thin, cold rain began lo drizzle down desparingly. The weath er suited me better than the garnish splendor of the hotel, and I wandered forth that evening, half-uuccnsciously wending my way toward the street in which Miss Screveu boarded. I found myself opposite the house. From an upper window a light struggled faint ly between the closed shutters and thrilled me through and through. Per haps she was there, ill and alone, un cared for, save by the mercenary land lady, or, worse still, by a slaternly ser vant. I went up the steps and rang the bell. A slip of a gir) opened tbe door and 1 handed her my card, saying mechanically, 'Ask Miss Screven if she will see me.' I trusted that the name John Bell would perhaps lead her to suppose that was a cousin or the father ot her Mead. The slip of a servant-maid looked at the card and then looked at me. Frances Screven V she said interroga tively. Yes, 1 replied. Then 1 took the card, ran my pencil through the en graved name, and scrawled my illegi ble signature below it. The servant took the card again and skurried away, leaving me standing there in the cold, lark entry. It was several minutes before she reappeared, and then it was only to say in a sing-song tone, 'Three flights up; lirst door to the right. I went up the three flights aud rap ped at the ttrst do r to the right. A voice called out, 'Dome in. I entered a medium-sized, plainly- furnished room that was redolent of tobacco, with which wes mingled a faint smell of whisky. There were wo arm-chairs, a large table covered with a faded cloth and an old-fashioned horse-hair lounge, from which, as 1 entered, a young man rose. He was thin and hollow-eyed, and a beard ot several days, growth made him look, to say the least, unkempt. 'Mr. Bell, 1 persume, he said, ottering me his hand and then drawing up a chair for me. I have called to see Miss Screven,' said I. 'Have you indeed ?' he replied in a nasty sneering, way. It flashed through me at once. It was her husband! She had deceived il 'May I ask if you are any relation to Miss Jane Bell, of Duudas, Washington County, New Tork, post-oflice box 402 ' he continued in the same sneering way. I stuttered and stammered, tried to lie, and nearly choked myself to death. 1 wanted to be diplomatic; I wanted to shield her from his anger. 'Who the devil are yon, anyway?' he exclaimed. I I am John Boll,' I answered; and I have called to see vour sister Is she ill? I haven't any sister said he non chalantly; 'that is, I am my own sister, and she has just escaped pneumonia. The truth flashed upon me. 'You are pn impostor, sir!' I exclaimed. Your sister doesn't think so,' said he complacently. I haven t any sister, said 1, in my tnm. m.mmm mmmm -v. He wheeled sharply about: 'Who is Miss Bell, then? 'I am all the Miss Boll thai exists,' answered grimly. 'What!' be exclaimed; 'you are tbe petted darling whe wanted to be a poet and an essayist and Lord only knows what all? You are the only child of wealthy parents ? l ou are the lovely creature who sits iu a pink boudoir and writes verses with a goinl pen and on perfumed paper? Yes,' said 1 desperately. Screven dropped into a chair and roared. 'A sell all round!' said he And then he laughed until he cried while I quietly stole away back to the hotel, a sadder but a wiser man. Lip pi molts llayazhu . O Vv. - Martin ITT Wood, a prominent and wealthy citizen of Albi- n dropped dea ou tbe 2:id inst. Jl.w a brother in law of Gov. Cornell, of N w York, and was a heavy holder of Western I'uion telegraph stock II. B. Ilav show . stalk of whe.d or this year p growth, which measuies two feci and six inches in length. Mayor Carhton of Port Raroi makes an appeal for 9200.000 lor the sufferers by the Michigan flres. OWOSSO, MICH., FRIDAY, JANUARYS, 1882. Beer and Gov . Perkins. iv tali, thin man, with a red nose gray side-whiskers, aud a melancholy expression, drifted into the office last week aud asked, in a subdued voice, if there was an unemployed reporter on the staff just then. "Because," said the stranger, "a very peculiar thing happened up our way L live at Hayes valley this morning, and winch, perhaps, you might work up into a sort of item, somehow. "What sort of a thing V said the managing editor, winking to the light ing editor to get his club ready in case tbe sad man pulled out a poem or any other dangerous contrivance. "Well, in the Urst place,' said tbe stranger, abstractedly, "do you happen io Know the effect of beer on ani mals?" "Can't say I do." "Instead of soothing 'em, it excites their nervous organization to the high est pitch. Actually makes them in sane. This morning, as it was rather saury, i sent my youngest DOV ior a gallon of beer. He stopped on the way and put the can down to play marbles. Mcbinty s old black billy-goat came ilong and drank up the beer every lrop of it, and nearly choked to death on the can. He stood blinking around a little for awhile; then he started for the street-car, with all colors set. He lit the horse square amidship, and it foundered at once." "Wrecked, 1 suppose?" said tho edit or. "Precisely, The goat then glanced ft, killed the driver and telescoped tho ar. I was sitting at the window all this time, and my attention was attract- by Governor Perkins going down the street. Governor Perkins ?" That's the goat's name, you see. McGinty is a strong Republican. There were lour men getting a piano out of a wagon across the street, when the Gev- ernoi went through mi like a nile- Iriver behind time. The Steinway was sent to the manufactory and the men io the hospital. "On the next block the Governor ime across a Dutch picnic, headed by i brass band. The Teutons were toet- ng 'Listen to the Mocking Bird,' and the way that goat stood on his hind legs tnd waltzed around the pavement to the music was just too funny for any thing. I may say that it was actually tmusing. It slipped on a banana peel once, and fell agaiust a cigar sign." ".Never mmd the scenery, said the editor. "Well, pretty soon the band changed ff into 'Come where My Love Lies Dreaming.' " "Did the goat come? "You just bet bo did. He didn't fancy the new tune somehow, and the lirst thing the drum major knew, Per ky we call the go t Perky for short touk him in the stomach, broke him lean in two, went through the rest of the band, including the big drum, and so on clear down to the end of the pic nic, which was four squares long. I think there were ninety-two killed and eight hundred and six wounded. Pretty good, when you consider the entire lriving power was only one gallon of cheap beer; now, wasn't it? Now, it iccurred to Just one minute," said the editor. 'Allow me to explain what occurred to ou. i ou concluded to catch the goat when he got sober, and bring him down lere for our beneht. You have him iow tied to a fire-plug around the cor- ler, and if we will only chip in about bur bits for beer, you will get the ani mal started aud we can watch the fun." Exactly," said the stranger, warm ly; "that is precisely my idea. I will iow take up a collec That afternoon, such of the custom ers of the Post as toiled up into the ed- turial rooms, wondered at the number if fresh blood stains on the stairs. San Francisco Post. Tho Unreasonable Ant. iNow and then, while we rested, we watched the laborious ant at his work. found nothing new in him certainly nothing to change my opinion of him. It seems to me that in the matter of in tellect the ant must be a stiangely ov errated bird. Ll tiring many summers now I have watched him, when I ought to have been m better business, and I have not yet come across a living ant that seemed to have any more sense than a dead one. I refer to the ordiu ary ant, of course; I have had no exper lenco of those wonderful Swiss and African ones which vote, keep drilled armies, hold slaves, and dispute about religion. Those particular atits may be all that the naturalist paints them, but I am persuaded that the average ant is a sham. 1 admit his industry, of course; he is the hardest-working crea ture iu the world when anybody is looking but his leather-headedness is the point I make against him. He goes out foraging, be makes a capture, ami then what does he do? Go home? No; be noes anywhere but home. He doesn't know where home is. His home may be only three teet away; no matter, he can t And it. He makes his capture, as I have said it is generally ..omothing which enn be of no sort of use to himself or anybody else; it is usually seven times bigger than it ought to be; he limits out tin awkwardest place to take hold of it; he lifts it iMxlily up in the air by main foice, and starts not trw rd borne but in the opposite direction; not calm ly and wisely, but with a frantic haste Which is wasteful of his strength; be fetches up agaiust a pebble, aed instead of going around it, he climbed over it backwards, dragging his booty after him, fumbles down the other side jumps up in a passion, kicks the dust off his clothes, moistens his hands, grabs his property viciously, yanks it thu w.iy, then that, shoves it ahead of him a moment, turjis tail and lugs it after him another moment, gets mad der and madder, then presently hoists it into the air and goes tearing away in an entirely new direction; comes to a weed; it never occurs to him to go around it. No; he must climb it, and he docs climb it, diagging his worthless property to the top whic is as bright a thing to do as it would be for nie to carry a sack of flour from Heidelberg to Paris by way of Strasburg steeple; when he gets up there he tinds that that is not the place; takes a cursory glance at the scenery, and either climbs down again, or tumbles down, and starts off once more as usual, in a now direc tion. At the end of half an hour he fetches up within six inches of the place he tarted from, and las his burden down. Meantime he has been over all the ground for two yards around, and hiubed all the weeds and pebbles he came across, rsow he wipes the sweat from his brow, strokes his limbs, and then marches aimlessly off, in as vio lent a hurry as ever. He traverses a good ileal of zig-zag country, and by- uidby stumbles on his same booty again, fie does not remember to have ever seen it before; he looks around to see which is not the wav tome, grabs liis bundle and starts, He goes through the same adventures he had beiore, Anally stops to rest, and a friend comes along. Evidently the friend remarks that a last year's grass hopper leg is a very noble acquisition, and inquires where ho got it. Evident ly the proprietor does not remember cx- tctly where he did get it, but thinks he got it "around here somewhere." Evidently the friend contracts to help him freight it home. Then, with a judgment peculiarly antic (pun not in tentional), they take hold of opposite ends of that grasshopper leg and begin to tug with all their might m opposite lirections. Presently they take a rest, tnd coufer together. They decide that something is wrong, they can't make nit what. Then they go at it again, just as before. Same result. Mutual ecriminatioiia follow. Evidently each ice uses the other of being an obstruc tionist. They warm up, and the ilis- pute euds in a light. They lock them lelves together and chew ea h other's aws for a while; then they roll and tumble on the ground till one lotos a lorn or a leg and has to haul oft' for re nin They make up and go to work igain in the same old insane way, but le crippled ant is at a disadvantage; tug as he may, the other one drags oft the booty and him at the end of It, In stead of giving up, he hangs ou aud gets his shins bruised against every ob struction that comes in the vn.iv. By tnd-by, when that grasshopper leg luis been dragged all over the same old ground once more, it is finally dumped it about the spot where it originally lav. The two pcrspirinir aids inspect . thoughtfully and decide that dried grasshopper hgs are a poor sort ot property after all, and then each stalls ft in a different direction to see if he an't Ind an old nail or something else hat is heavy enough to afford enter tainment and at the same time value- nough to make an ant want to own t. Mark Twain's "Tramp Abroad" Night Air. An extraoidinary fallacy is the dread f the night air. What air can we breathe at niarht but niirht air? The ;hoice is between pure night air from without and foul air from within. Most people prefer the latter an un- tccountable choice. What will they say if it is proved to be true that fully one-half of all the diseases we suffer from are occasioned by people sleeping with their windows shut? An open window, most nights in the yeai, can never hurt anyone. In great cities night air is often tbe best and purest air to be had in the twenty-four hours. I could better onderstand shutting the windows in town during the day than luring the night, tor the ake of the sick. The absence of smoke, the quiet all tend to make the night the best time foi airing tho patient. One of our highest medical authori ties on consumption and climate has told me that the air in London is never so good as after ten o'clock at night. Always air your room, then, irom the oursiae air, u possible, windows are made to open, doors are made to shut a trutl which seems extremely difficult of apprehension. Every room must bo aired from without every passage rrom wnnin. nut me rewer passages there are in a hospital the better. Failure in Enormous Ships. -It is to be feared that the Inflexible, which cost about 800,000 and took nearly eight years to get anoat, will prove a 1 allure. She is terribly un wieldly, by no means swift, and draws two feet more water than had been calculated The electric light, which it cost near ly i-5,000 to tit all through the sihip, is not a success. And it is now doleful to learn that the officials at Malta dock-yard have been busied in prepar ing a dock lor the reception of the monster. In old times ono did not bear of new Versels going into dock at the expiration of a tew -days' voyage. The questionable result of the Inflexi ble experiment proves tbe justice of tbe doubts I expressed revently of tho policy of building any more of these enormous ships. At all events, they do not seem to have answered so far. Sure ly it would be in all respects better to Mssess a flee: of very swift, strongly armed, and comparatively small cruis ers. London Truth. NO. 34. Th. Captain's Dinner. A correspondent of tbe New Tork fast tells the lollowing good storj: It was forty years ago when, with a feel ing ol no little independence, as it was my Uidt voyage in command, 1 arrived at New York with the lirst, and prob ably the only, crop of tea that was over brought to the United States from Singapore. The war waged by Eng land for tho purpose of poisoning tho Chinese with opium was then prevail ing, so that, uanton being blockaded, the experiment of purchasing "Junk tea," in the btraits of Malacca proved a success. Accordingly the senior part ner oi the hous ol Goodhue & Co., to which we were consigned, was ho very complimentary, and absolutely familiar with me, while he was somewhat brusque or at the utmost range iu the opposite direct ion condescending with the other skippers, that they be came a little envious of my good for tune; which, however, I well understood was likely to bo only temporary, as it was deiived from the market value of tho tea, and they also regarded it in the same light. One day a Captain, who had discharg ed cargo, and whoso ship lay outside of mine, said; "j las the o!d man asked ou to dine with him yet?" "No, he hasn't," I replied. "Well, he will pretty soon,'' be an swered. "He does that by all of us, and when ho has done it there is an end of his civilities." "What sort of a family is it?" I ask ed. "Are there anv daughters? ' "Family! Daughters! Why, bless your soul, he won t ask you to his house. He'll take von to Delmonico's tnd give you a bowl of warm water tnd a beefsteak. ' "That's dining with him." i believed that old Shellback "spoke whereof ho did know," and yet, as a oeeisteak. is neer amiss, I resolved to proflt by the invitation in case it should bo given. It came on the very next day. "1 shall be happy to have you dine with me to-day." said the dignified merchant, in his most affable tone." "Thank you, sir," I replied, "if tho adies will excuse me for notappeariug in a dress coat." Oh, ah, well," he answered, some what disconcerted, but immediately re- ovenug his sell-possess ion, "if you feel my delicacy about that suppose we dine at Delmonico's?" He had corner ed mo but in the end he wad cornered himself. Having assented to the arrangerflent, io suggested that 1 should call at tbe :ouuting-room shortly before 3 o'clock, and we would walk up together. We accordingly started at the appointed hour, walked socially arm in arm along South street, while those anxious skip pers who could expect no more dinners looked on and hitched up their slack waistbands. At the corner of Wall street my host was buttonholed by an excited exchange, broker, aod forthwith there ensued a lively dispute as lo whether tho bill under discussion was to be drawn at thirty ot sixty days' sight. Observing my patient attitude as I leaned against the lamp-post, an idea more brilliant in its results for me than for him occured to the senior. "Captain," said he, "1 shall be de tained here a few minutes. It will be i saving of t ime if you will go on and order the dinner." Certainly, sir," I replied. "What shall 1 order ?" "Oli, anything you please," was tho satisfactory answer. "I shall bo quite suited with your selection." An old shipowner of Boston was MM u domed to say that he never gae his Captains instructions. "I always, ho said, "give 'em point blank to go whore they are mind to." I hope they were too conscientious to take the ad vantage of the carte blanche which Mr. vTaterman doubtless gave them that 1 took in this instance. 1 proceeded with such a rapid pace to Delmonico's that when my entertainer arrived the din ner was ready to be served, and the champagne, as our French friends say, was stuck with ice in the cooler along side of the table. That was bis first occasion for astonishment, which re ceived another addition on the appear ance of the turtle soup, another at the sole an gratin, another at the canvas back ducks, which was not lessened when those delicate apple-fritters wore followed by tho stragglers in the rear, cheese, ice-cream, nuts, grapes, ami black coffee. To do justice to the excellent Pela tiah Perit whose name thus far I have abstained from mentioning after his lirst surprise be entered heartily into the joko and ate heartily of the dinner. I told him all about it how I had been living 911 salt beef and hard tack of late and how the rum had given out, and then, afc he beamed benignly upon me, I told him what those other malicious skippers had said. And then, when tbe repast was over, what do you think he did ? Why, he called for the best Habanas Delmonico had, although ho did not himself smoke, and told me to put the bunch in my poeket. Nor was that, the end of it. He in vited me to dine thoie again, and be invited the others too. And we were all willing to let him select- from the bill of fare, although I don't really think 1 lt.it we ever again had a dinner so appetising in all its appointments as the one for which T catered myself. General Garfield's Maxims. "I feel a profounder reverenco for loy than a man. I never met a ragged boy on the street without feeling that I owe him a salute, for I know not what possibilities may be buttoned up under his shabby coat. "ine priveiege oi being a young man is a great privilege; and tbe privi lege of growing up to be an independ ent man m middle life is a greater " "Whatever you win U Ufe you must ooql by your efforts, and then it is joins, a putt oi younseii. ' "Growth bj better than permanence, UMlperaMBfel growth is better than all. it there be une thing upon this eaun 1 uat mankind love and honor bet tor than another, it is a bfave man- a man who dares look the Devil in the face and tell him he is a Devil." "The student should study himself bis relation to society, to nature, and to art, and above ail' in all, aud through all these, ho should study the relations of himself, society, nature and art, to God, the author of them all." "Great ideas travel slowly, and for a time noiselessly, as the gods whose foot were shod with weol." "Ideas are the great warriors of the world, and a war that has no ideas be hind it is simply a brutality." I would rather l.e defeated than make capital out of my religion." "After all, territory is but tbe bod of a nation. The people who inhabit its bills and its valleys are its soul, its spirit, its life." "1? or the noblest man that lives there still remains a conflict." "Comedown tho glorious stone of our banner. Every great record we have made has been vindicated with our blood and with our truth. It sweeps the ground and it touches tho stare." The Government Chemists Report on Baking Powders. . To ttte Editor : The recent publication of the report, giving tho comparitive merits of va rious leaking Powders, according to tests made by the Government Chemist, has induced some of the manufacturers of brands, whose inferiority was thus brought tolight, to resort to various means and puolications, in order to rid themselves of the results of that unfa vorable exposition of their inferiority. 1 hat the public may fully under stand the matter, and to avoid anv misconception arising out of statements of oer competitors, seeking to break the force ol the report, I herewith sub join tho main part of the report, in which the comparative values are cor rectly given. Dr. Love s tests were made to deter mine what brands are the most eco nomical to use. And as their capacity lies in their leavening power, tests were directed solely to ascertain the availa ble gas of each powder. -ivali-tbleU.iR. Cubic Indies imv Comparative Baking tWUttre NikllMHlf III. W.i .u r lb. 60 cU . 48 eta. IS cts. 471 ota. US eta. 48 cbt. , 4!1 eta. 42 eta. 40 eta. 88V1 eta. 88 eta. :'tt4 eta. 80 its. 88 eta. 80 eta. Eat h Ounce I'owUer lto ul" cicain 'anarpow.iri t 127.4 -ier inu . tartaric aci.' pov aet;. . . t 12 "fltMTtm alum . ovtd. n HumfO) uV ( plnmphai 6) mtb 122. b liumfor.i's" ( i-Uuxpliate.) old 82.7 Ha .for NdueMich," ntw 121. Kaijf, rd'oMnue such," olU 8 .85 RathcM 117.0 Clia. m" i iuiu powdi r. 1 in. a Am .an ." i .iiuui powder) tll.O e.ovt'iai.d's (tain weight t4 ot.), .110.8 zar' 1IM.K l.r. i tic-- Crean." 102. u Lewis' 'Condensed 08-2 Co HI " J'M I Hi Ti Andrew'.-l'ean" 93.2 Hecker'.s IVifect" W2 o 1. Ilh ls' 84.2 Hull." 80. 0 Tlie Government Chemist also adds: I regard all alum powders as very un wholesome Phosphate and tartaric acid powders liberate their gas too free- in process ol baking, oi under vary- ng climatic changes suffer deteriora tion." It is proper to state that all the pow ders examined were from the open market, and that tbe original labels were in every case broken by Dr. Love himself. He also informs me that he, himself, purchased the can of Royal Dak ing Powder at the store of Park & Tilford. I have only to add, that for 20 years the Royal Bilking Powder has been be fore the public, and it is to-day the staudard for purity and excellence throughout the world. Because of its intrinsic merit, and by virtue of hon orable enterprise, the Royal Baking Powder lias taken this rank, and I am tlierelore not surprised to tiud adven. turers in the business anxious to as sume their preparations to be its equal. J. C. HOAGLAND, President Royal Baking Powder Company. New York, Dec. 6, 1881 The most profitable way to raise beef cattle is to keep them constantly in a thrilty and improving condition. It is not necessary to keep very young stock rolling in fat, but there should always be an abundance of nutritious food to help nature in its development. To allow stock to run down in flesh and become ill-conditioned, simply be cause it is not designed for market for some timo, is the height of folly. Miss Annie Louise Cary will, it is said, marry Mr. Lorillard next autumn, and make her last appearance upon the stage next June, in Portland, Me. Mi. Percy Puliation, son of the late Rev. Dr. Punshou, has beeu recently admitted as a stut'ont of the Wesleyan Ideological College at Montreal. WHERE THERE'S IDRINKING THERE'S DANGER. Write It on the liquor store, Write It on the prlnon door, Write it on tbe guu-Rhep fine. Write, aye write thin truthful line: " Where there's drink there's danger. " Write Hon the workhouse gate, Write It on the flchoolboy's slate, Write il In the copy book, Tliut the young may at it look: " Where there's drink thers's Aanger. " Write P on the churchyard mound. Where tbe drluk-slaln dead are foand, Write It on tbe gallows high, Writelt for all passers by: " Wheres there's drink there's danger. " Write It underneath your feet, Up and down tlte busy street; Write It lor the great and small, In the maueton, not and hall: " Where there's drink there's danger. " Write It on the ships which sail, Borne along by storm and gale; Write In large letters plain, i O'er our land and past the main': " Where tbere's'drlnk there's danger. " Write Uou the Christian's home: Slity thousand ilrunkards roam, Yar hy year, from OoUand right, I'roTing with resistless might: " Where there's drink there's danger. " Write It. In this nation's laws, Trampling out t he license cause ; Write It ou each 1ml l it, white, Politicians, read it right: " Where there's drink there's danger. " 77k Amendment, VgflKTiag, It extea !s IU ioluenoa into ev ery part of tbe human organism, commencing With ita foundation; correcting diseased actios and restoi lug vital powers, crantipg a healthy formation and puriic-ation of the bloed.ilriTlng out disease, and leafing Nature to perform IU allotleo task.