Hammond gazette. [volume], August 11, 1863, Image 1

About Hammond gazette. [volume] (Point Lookout, Md.) 1862-1864

Image provided by: University of Maryland, College Park, MD

                
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"~ For the Benefit of the Sick and Wounded in Hammond General Hospital,
yol-1.. RUINT LOOKOUT,MD., AUGUST ¥i. 1888. NO. 39.
FAMMOND GAZETTE.
pUBLISIED EVERY TUESDAY MORNING BY
GEORGE EYERETT.
R ATES—One copy, threemonths, FIFTs cinvis,
¥ ApvANCE; single copy, FIVE CENTE,
7 POETRY.
THE DEAD SOLDIER.
BY ANNIE M. F. BURBAXK.
~oftly, softly fold his hands,
From his face smooth back his hair:
He at last bas found a rest—
No need has he of care.
Look in pity on his lips—
_ See how still and cold and white—
" They were moaning for his home,
Moaning only yester-night,
Just a kiss upon his face,
Just a kiss upon his cheek,
From his mother, was his prayer,
'Till he had no strength to speak,
Let your tears fall gently down !
How his poor eyes watched in vain,
For the loved ones far away,
That he ne’er could see again.
Put some flowers by his side— :
Common blossoms that he knew
At his home, ih days gone by—
(lovers rich and sweet with dew,
Roses snowy white and red
Scatter softly on his breast—
Now some larkspurs deeply blue—
These the colors for kis rest!
e4@ P e
Ax Ipea or Farru.—A female teacher
of aschool that stood on the banks of a
quict English stream, onee wished to com
municate to her pupils an idea of faith.—
While she was fgying to explain to her pu
pils the me'lm:g of the word, a small cov
cred boat glided in sight along the stream.
b;xzmi upon the incident for an illustra
ton, she exclaimed :
“If I were to tell you that there was a
leg of mutton in that boat, gou would be
lieve me, would you not, without even see
ing 1t yourselves *”
“Yes, ma’m,” replied the scholars.
~ “Well that is fuith,” said the schoolmis
tress,
The next day in order to test their re
-901}'?0?011 of the lesson, she inquired :
‘What is faith ?”
_"A kfi of mutton in a boat,” was the
:{nswer, shouted from all parts of the school-
Hom,
’:’-——————-—4..——-—-——-———-
4 Nuts which a military necessity cannot
“Pack—butternuts. —C'lermont Sun.
ak'fllat butternut editor is certainly mis
‘aken, for a militar{ neeessity not onliy
*il‘acked but completely smashed the Val
andigham buitternut, one of the strongest
known, :
Tb i R e
i.- hth of our fricnds that
: Wtfifi‘ ure, but the warmtb of friend
. s )
*hip of the Few. <
| Paddy’s Pig.
; . A merchant priuee living in Sidaey made
it a boast that he bal never given away a
| shilling in his life. So fur as is known;he
1 ‘_J“I.Y departed from his extreme selfishness
|on one oceasion. The circumstances are
worth relating :
. Onc} morning a poor Irishman stepped
into }u:s' connting-house, and, looking the
| very pictare of misery, said—
| ‘.‘Oh, may it plase your honor, I've lost
| a pig-—the only pig I ever had—and mis
i thress——, the governess, has given mie a
pound, and sent me to you for another.——
She says you have cnough gold to buy ast y
wid, and will be sure to give me a liftle ”
At first the old hard-fist refused ; upon
which Paddy threw himself on a stool, and
raised such a piteous wail that the merchant,
thinking that he was mad about the death
| of the pig, gave him a pound to get quit of
him. Next day the proprictor of the de
funct porker was passing the warchouse.
and seeing his benefactor at the door, pulled
his hat to him. -
“Well, did you get drunk with that
pound, or buy another pig?" asked the
rich man, gruffly.
‘“‘Bought a pig, yer honor, a darling lit
tle thing, with a sweet twist in his tail like
i a lady’s curl.”
“Well, it is to be hoped that you'll take
better care of him than youdid of the other.
What did he die of 7’
““Die of? Did ye say die of now ! Why,
get out wid ye, he was so fat [ killed him "
—————— O e
Avorp Bap Compaxvy.—The following
little fable contains a deal of wisdom; and
editors, clergymen—indeed all classes in
society, will do well to remember it, and
govern themselves accordingly :
““A skunk once challenged a lion to a
single combat. The lion promptly declined
the honor of such a meeting.
““How,” said the skunk ‘‘aro youafraid t’
“Very much so,” quoth the lion, ‘‘for
| you would only gain fame by baving the
honor to fight a lion, while cvery one who
met me for a month to come would kuow
that I had been in company with a skunk.”
RUBABRAER S o R A
A Western editor having had his last
shirt stolen, vents his rage as follows:
e would say to the rascal who stole
the shirt off the line when we were in bed
waiting for it to dry, that we sineerely hope
the collar will cut his throat.”
| To this a cotemporary adds: ‘‘Served
‘ him right; no business to have a shirt.—
| Such luxuries!| We expect next to hear of
'the extravagant fellow aspuing to wear
stockings and beaver hats. Oh, the avar
ice, the unreasonableness of some folks !”
s sel QW o
l +Qup dog Tray’s ever faithful,” they say;
but the dog that is faithful can never be-tray.
T £ . S A O . .-t O . S bs+ 2 410
How’re You Pumpkin Secds!?
1. As the story goes, a farmer purcha:cd
few cents’ worth of goods from a merchant,
and gave him a bilf to make change from
The latter returned him eighty-five cents in
his engraved promises to pay, gencraliy
known as checks, but vulgarly known a:
shinplasters. “What's them?” inquired
the farmer. *“Oh,” said the merchant
“‘those are a kind of curreney we dry-good:
dealers have,” and went away to attend to
another customer. The countryman went
off, not exactly satisfied, but shortly re
turned, and bought nearly a dollar’s worth
of goods. After receiving the neatly tied
up package from the merchant, and heiny
told the price, he deposited a nwmber of
pumpkin seeds on the counter. **Whatare
those ?” inguired the astonished merchant.
““Oh,” replied the countryman, uite coolly,
‘‘them’s a zort of currency we farmers have,”
and thereupon left the store. The story
has it, that the dry-goods dealer, who ap
preciates good jokes, was so amused, he
did not call his unprofitable customer back.
e ) Pt et
A Hicut Privare.—A-captain of a steam
boat on the Mississippi river, who had
fought in the battles of the Texan Revolu
tion, offered a free passage in his boat to
any soldier who hag participated in a cer
tain engagement. One day a man claimed
| u free passage, asserting that he was in the
‘ hattle. He was referred to the Captain.
“In what capacity did you serve ?”
““High private,” was the reply.
“‘Stranger,” said the cz:rtain, ‘‘give mo
your hand; I have pissed two thousand
| and eighty-two who were iu that fight, and
| you are the first private I have seen.”
e e = )G P e
‘ Tue Pittshurg Republican tells how Col.
l Brown was induced to excuse the young
| lady from waltzing with him. Col. B. is
' good looking and a famous dancer—patron
izes all the country balls and adores the
} rosy-checked, unsophisticated country girls.
At a late ball on the frontier, some onc
| who was present says, the gallant Colonel
| approached a blushini damsel, and agked
' her to waltz, when she replied: ‘‘No, |
f thank you, I don’t like to waltz, it makes
'me puke.” The Colonel surrendered.
45 Sk
t Harw axp Rary.—¢“Whete do you bail
| from 77 queried a Yankee of a traveller.
| “Where do you rain from ?”
| ““Don’t rain’at all, said the astonished
' Jonathan.
| Neither do I hail—so mind your own
| business.”
i e 8§ Bet
' A Goop Toasr.—Woman—she is the
'only endurable aristoerat—elects without
voting, governs without law, and deeides
without appeal. That toaster deserves
wifec.