Hammond gazette. [volume], November 03, 1863, Image 1

About Hammond gazette. [volume] (Point Lookout, Md.) 1862-1864

Image provided by: University of Maryland, College Park, MD

                
‘ j-D
é‘*‘
:”f /
i
For the Benefit of the Sick and Wounded in Hammond General Hospital.
Le Ve FOINTLOOKOUT, BIL.. ROY. 5. 1888, NO. 51,
HAMMOND GAZETTE.
PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY MORNIXNG BY
GEORGE EVERETT.
RATES—Oue copy, three months, FIFTY CENTS,
IN ADVANCE; single copy, FIVE CENTS.
POETRY.
“Three Hundred Thousand More.”
We are coming, father Abraham, three hundred
thousand more, '
From Mississippi’s winding stream, and from
New England’s shore;
We have left our }l)‘loughs and workshops, our
wives and children dear,
With hearts too full for utterance, with but a
gilent tear;
We dare not look behind us, but steadfastly be
fore—
We are coming, futher Abraham, three hundred
*thousand more,
If you look across the hill-tops that meet the
.+ northern sky,
_Long moving lines of rising dust your vision
may descry,
But now the wind an instant tears the cloudy
~ veil aside,
And floats aloft our spangled flag in glory and
in pride; - _
And bayonets in the sunlight gleam and bands
' brave musi¢ pour—
Wg are coming, father Abrabam, tlirte bundred
thousand more,
If you L(:ok all up out vaHeys where the growing
rvests shine,
You will see our sturdy farmer boys fast forming
into line;
And children at their mothers’' kneesare pulling
And learning how to reap and sow against their
- country’s needs;
And a farewell group stands weeping at every
ooua?: door—
¢ are coming, fathcr Abraham; three hundred
thousand more:
You bave called us and we're coming, by Rich
mond’s lfloodg: tide,
To lay us down for Freedom's sake, our broth
, ers’ bones beside ;
Or from foul treason’s savage grasp to wrench
" the murd’rous biade,
And in the face of forelgn foe its fragments to
parade; : .
Twelve hundred thousand men and true have
already gone before—
We are coming_father Abraham, three hundred
thousand more.
A Fesyy Mistake.—Old negro, slumbering,
with his feet pointing to a glimmering fire.—
Opens one eye, and gets a glimpse of them, as
they stand up in obscurity. Mistakes them for
two little negroes, and cries: “‘Gif fum ’fore
me!” and relapses into Sleep. After a while,
bpeasthe other eyc, and still seeing the intruders :
#ays: ‘‘Gif fum 'fore me, 1 say; Tkick you in
he fire if you don't; I will, shu'—" and again
snores. His dreams net being pleasant, he
#oon opens both eyes, and still seeing the little
pestgy he draws up his foot for the threatened
kick, but is alarmed to see the enemy advance
upon him, and exclaims: “Wha', where you
tomin’ to, now? Hamph! my own foot, by
golly !
The King’s Mistake:
Some of our exchanges have revived the fol
lowing old but good story :
A number of old politicians, all of whom were
sceking office under government, were seated at
a tavern porch talking, when a toper named John
D., a person who is very loquatious when corned,
but exactly the opposite when soberg said, if the
company had no objection, he would tell them
a story. They told kim to “fireaway,” where
upon he spoke as follows : ;
A certain king—ll don’t remember hig name—
had a philosopher upon whose judgment he al
ways depended. Now it happened that one day
the king took it into his head to go a hunting:
and after summoning his nobles and making the
necessary preparations, he summoned the phi
losopher and asked him if it would rain. The
philosopher told him it would not, and he and
his nobles departed.
While journeying along they met acountryman
on a jackass. ITe advised them to return, ‘‘for,”
said he, “it will certainly rain.”” They smiled
contemptuously upon him and passed on. De
fore they had gone many miles, however, they
had reason to regret not having taken the rustic’s
advice, as, a heavy shower coming up, they were
drenched to the skin.
When they lad returned to the palace the king
reprimanded the philosopher severely.
“I met a countryman,’’ said he, ‘‘and he
knows a great deal more than you, for he told
me that it would rain, wherecas you told me it
would not.”’
The king then gave him his walking papers,
and sent for the cotihtryman, who made his
appearance.
‘‘Tell me,’’ said the king, ‘‘bow you knew it
would rain 7"
I didn’t know,’ sald therustic, ‘my jackass
told me.”’ ;
“And hot¥, pray, did he tell you?” asked the
king.
¢By pricking up his ears; your majesty,”’ re
turned the rustic.
The king sent thit countryman away, and pro
curing the jackass of him, put him (the jackass)
in the place the philosopher had filled.
“And here;”’ pbéerved John, looking very
wise, ‘‘is where the king madea great mistake.”
““How s0?"’ inquired his auditors eagerly.
“Why ever since that time,”’ said John, with
a grin, ‘‘every jackass wants an office!”’
e el () W e
A young lady at a ball was asked by a lover
of serious poetry whethef &t had seen Crabbe’s
Tales:
“Why no,”’ she answered. ‘T did not know
that crabs had tails.”’
] Leg yout patdon, miss,” sald he; “1 mean
have you read Crabbe's Tales?"’
¢‘And T assure you, sir,”’ said ¢he, “I did not
know that red crabg, or any other crabs, had
tails.”’
. eQR PR 1
Goop morals cannot always be good politics,
bat, bad tiorals cah never e, ; ~
A Strange Animal.
A gentleman of Strathdon said to his maid one
nighte— :
“Tell Finlay to rise very early to-morrow
morning, and go down t¢ Aberdeen for the up
holsterer.””
“Yes, sir. For the what did you say, sir?”’
“For the upholsterer. He knows him.”’
“Finlay, you are to rise very early, masier
says; and you are to call on me to make you @
brose; and you are to go down to Aberdeen,
aud bring home a polsterer.’”’
"¢ A polsterer ! What's that?”’
‘“Master says you have seen him, and know
what he is like.”
¢Me see him ? In truth, I never did!”
So, next morning, Finlay comes to his master
very early, with his great coat and long whip,
and says—
‘“‘Master, must I take a one-horse eart or o
two-horse cart for that fulthy bhaist?”’
“What beast, you blockhead?"’ |
“Whoy, that viled lubberly bhaist, the pols
terer,’’!
ot ) s e
Ratner StitoxG.—Old Deacon Mae—— was the
only storckeeper in a pretty little village ‘“‘up
the country,’” and nsed to tako greatpleasure in
catechising the yotuth who might visit his store.
One stormy day—business dull—the deacon was
quictly smoking by the side of a cheerful fire,
when a ragged urchin entered, who seemed a fit
subject on which the deacon might exercise his
(uestioning powers. The deacon drew a long
whiff—then pulled out his pipe, and cthaling a
long column of smoke, called the lad to him, and
satting him on the shoulder, asked him—
““ My son, what is the strongest thing you know
of 7"
The lad thought a momehi, then seratcliiiag
the bump of commuhicativeness thirough a hole
in his hat, answered—
“ Why, 1 reckon marm kunows, she's tarnal
strong herself; she can lick dad at any time,
and she said that the butter I got here ’tother
day was the strongest she ever sced yet, for that
was so strong she coultin’t holdl it after she got it
down.”
e e ) ) W o e
At Louisville, Maj. Wm. H. Slidell, mustering
in officer, bad just administered the usual army
oath to soiiié hew retruits, when a secesh lady
(may we call her Mrs. Johnson?) remarked to
him with a gmiling air, but considerably prege
nated with contempt : ;
“Well, Major have you brought your men
down to that dcptil of glatery?’
Madam,” answered he, with politeat bow
and smile, “that same oath your Jeff. Davis,
and Bragg, and most of your rchel generals,
have taken, and,”’ he added, in a low, deep
voice, ‘‘have broken !’
e G e
Lirrue Jouxsy w 3 the pride and pet of hie
parents<a bright, blue-cyed, six-yea old. His
father, one morning, after reading a &opter in
the Bible; asked what a fainine was. His quick
reply was, ‘A cob Without any corn of it”’