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"The World is Governed Too Much."
HRY . BIOSSAT, Business Manager. ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA, WEDNESDAY. MAY 7, 1890. VOL. XLV.NO 19
TiE SELF-MLADE MAN.
And the Soriou o Case of Dyspop
sia IIo Encouraged.
NE never knows
which is the im
pression that is
going to s tay,
I which of the
of the passing
day is to be the
i one. We try to
know, and even
; make, with hu
m an pertness,
' \"This is strik
ing," "this is
Important," and important as it is, we
fear to forget it, and write it down in
the nowadays inevitable note-book
date, place and sonsations-quite order
ly and methodically, as we were taught
todo at school; and then, if we do not
forget the notebook or crowd it odt
under the necessary accumulation of
them, we are able at any time to resur
rect any recollection, and, if we have
been prolix, sensation and other
et cetera of data, at best often the with
ered or withering specimens of a herb
arium. Thus life flows, depositing
within us an ever-increasing "batture,"
a vague border-land, our limbo of
things we are trying not to forget.
Per contra, an insignificant occurrence
there i no gotting rid of; it is a veri
table crooked tone in the memory.
"Madam," said the hotel-keeper tome
the day after my arrival at the "Green
wood" Springs, "you are going to have
a feollow-boarder-Prof. Tubbs, presi
dent of the Male and Female College at
Olympus. Prof. Tubbs is what sce call a
self-made man, and, considering the ma
terial, Ithink he has made a pretty
good job of it."
"Is there nothing unique in this
world? Not even a taste for out-of-the
season visits to remote little watering
"Ho comes to drink the waters for his
health." continued the hotel-keeper.
"'He has chronic dyspopsia. Here he is
The "material" was, concretely, at
least six feet two in height, garmented
in black broadcloth, the ample frock
coat of which swung open over a very
expansive shirt front, which carried on
its uppermost billow a patented satin
cravat with a patented pin in it. Is
had a long, thin face, with something if
the way of beard over it, and his abund
'ant hair shone with a gloss which was
a credit to its author, whoever he was.
He bowed with an oratorical sweep of
the right hand, and said: "I am very
glad to see you, ma'am," sat down in
his place with careful thought of his
coat tails, surveyed the squadron of lit
tie dishes, which contained fractional
portions of what was supposed in these
regions to make a whole meal, and pro
cceded incontinently to take the office
of entertainer out of the hands of the
waiter in this wise:
"Fried mutton, ma'am? I never eat
mutton. Some people can, but my taste
is delicate. My stomach is my weak
point, ma'am. As an organ, it gets out
of order very easily. My wife's stomach
Is much stronger than mine, ma'am. I
look strong, but I am not, ma'am. I
saifer from chronic dyspepsia. 1 may
S'"Tea or coffee, sir?"
"Coffeel 1 always drink coffee,
ma'am. It is my only stimulant. The
oretically and practically, ma'am, I am
a total abstainer, but I sometimes need
as many as four cups of coffee at one
meaL My wife makes elegant coffee,
ma'am. I do not drink milk generally;
it is apt to produce bile in my system,
* "Yes, reggs. Eggs suit my digestion
very well, ma'am; eggs- Oh, of course,
mia'am, you can go. Do not lot me de
tain you. I oat slow, ma'am. Some
people can oat fast, but I can not,
ma'am. I take my time over my meals.
My stomach- Certainly, ma'am- ce
tainly, I will excuse you," with the I
same oratorical wave of the hand, which
now held his knife.
Sitting in the quiet and darkness of
this out-of-the-way night and place, it
was pleasant to listlessly track the con
stellations through the tree-tops, while
thoughts came slowly drifting home,
thoughts which had been on furlough
forages, thoughts which
"Ahl here you are waiting for mo, I
ma'am. Don't rise, ma'am; I have 1
a chair. Looking at the stars, oh?
Are you any thing of an astrono- 1
mer, ma'am? Astronomy is a very 1
Pretty ecienco. I am very partial to I
astronomy; in fact, I am considered
right much of an astronomer. My wife,
0w, sho knows nothing about the star s.
As for me, ma'am, I have dipped into I
iPetty much every thing. I am self- 1
isght, entlroly, ma'am. I am what is
eaUed in these parts, ma'am, a self
uade man, and I am not ashamed of it, .
What ldyou say, ma'am? Oh, certain.
t! egood-night, ma'am. It does not agree I
Withme to retire early, ma'am. Brain- I
rkers, ma'am, are night-workers. I
Ilp not an early riser either, ma'am. I i
have told the hotel-proprietor so. My
Ite, now, is an early risor. My wife rises t
Welt7 generally about daybreak; but c
-tbsinozing nap seems to be necessary
nuu stitution. lIy constitution
: rry up, ma'am!" he called to me .a
the breakfast table, as I entered t
otb-dao the next morning. "We did
Ot Wait foyou, ma'am. Waiting does I
Ol ee with tme, ma'am, as I told the y
.Popetr of the hotel. 1 rested only i
S leahly last night, ma'am; euffered l
an uneasiness of the stomach."
t~ahe ham, eggs, buckwheat t
. the waiter rocited his litany, I
the little dishes on the table
like from his fngers. 1t
I do not care for chicken, ma'am. r
People like chicken; find it nour- p
l-y labors seem to require ad
I,O4 My wUe likes chicken. I i
lYnike my breiatst, ma'm, of i
~ ~~sir~ea~ Cp I ad 1@/dg1
HIam seems to agree with my stomach
better than most any kind of food, and
I always taper off on cakes and sirup.
My wife makes elegant cakes, ma'am.
You seem to have a very strong stom
ach, like my wife, ma'am. MIy wife can
eat almost any thing.
"Well, now that we have finished our
breakfast, what shall we do with our
morning, ma'am? Going to the springs?
I shall just come along with you,
"I shall take the sulphur water,
ma'am, to make a beginning, and then
1 shall take the iron water. The sul
phur water, as 1 calculate, washes the
dyspepsia out of me, and the iron
builds me up. It just depends upon how
I feel, the number of cups I drink dur
ing the day. I consult my stomach en
tirely. You had better consult your
stomach, ma'am. Going back to the
hotel? Certainly, I'm agreeable. I'll
just go with you. You are like my
wife, ma'am-always on the go. I do
not mind telling you, ma'am, that my
wife is not quite up to me; in fact, I am
considered to have married beneath
lls knees had rounded sockets in his
trousers, which stood out, as he walked
along, in an ungainly fashion, but when
he sat down all fitted easily and
smoothly, particularly when he bent
his shoulders a little forward and
cla'ped his hands over his crossed leg
that swung its foot like a pendulum to
time his words.
"Some of my friends go as far as to
say that it was a mistake. I could do
much better now, ma'am; that is the
truth. But when I married her, ma'am,
I considered it a good thing for me. I
don't mind tolling you, ma'am, but at
that time she was very poor. She
taught in the public school until her
ma took sick of galloping consumption,
and when her ma died, I married her.
They used to be quite considerable
folks. IIor pa was a Baptist minister.
He was killed in the war. Sister Annie,
too, my wifo's sister, had a situation in
the public school, but when she heard
her ma was dying, she gave it up, and
came home to help in the nursing. But
I have taken Sister Annie in, too. Sis
ter Annie's health isn't very good,
ma'am, but she teaches the primaries,
and she can help my wife in the house.
I intend to let Sister Annie live right
along with us. Sister Annie-Lord!
Sister Annie can iron a shirt just as
good as my wife. HIavo you observed
my shirts, ma'am? Sister Annie and my
wife launder them all; and between
them they prepare the meals for
the boarders-we have six boarders,
ma'am, male and female-and they
"LET ME INTRODUCE MY WIFE."
take care of the baby between
them, and between-times they do sew
ing for their little pockets. I've got no
objections. I just humor them, and tell
them to do just as they please. Would
you believe it, ma'am, they bought a
sowing-machine last year between them.
Sister Annio used to have an elegant
voice, ma'am, but I consider that she
has just coughed it away. She takes
after her ma in coughing, ma'am."
As he talked, the man's eyes kept
continually glancing up the yellow
streaked road, and in the clear light,
under his beard, his long thin-lipped
mouth could be seen nervously biting
the postprandial tooth-pick. Ono would
have said that he was expecting the mes
sengor who shortly afterward made his
appearance, waving a yellow envelope
in his hand. He appropriated the mes
sago when it arrived withouthesitation,
opening it, and reading it aloud:
"Sister Annie died during the night."
The messenger rodo his horse quietly
away in the direction of the stable.
The professor's food. for the moment,
disappeared from his eyes, and pro
sumably rested easy on his stomach.
"It will be a heavy blow to Olympus
it will be a mnighty heavy blow to Olym
lo got his hugo frame doubled up into
his self-made attitude of sitting again,
but his foot remained quiet, and his
bony hands clasped the telegraphic dis
patch instead of his knee.
"I don't know what the parson will
do without her. The parson will miss
her, ma'am, more tharany one in Olym
pus. I consider that she just founded
the church there; and as for the Sunday
schcol-thero isn't a child in the place
that wouldn't go to Sunday-school to
have Sister Annie for a teacher. She
played the melodeon and taught them
hymns, and she was the organist of the
church. Then there's the prayer-meet
ing Wednesday night, and the reading
every Friday evening. Sister Annie did
the reading. She got up a magazine
club, too. I consider Sister Annio a
very accomplished woman, ma'am. She
was universally beloved." He pro
nounced this slowly and impressively,
as if he or Sister Annio were originating
the time-worn commendation.
"She never used to complain, ma'am.
I do not believo she knew how to com
plain. If it had not been for the cough
ing, life as not no one would have
known she was sick. When I told her
good-bye yesterday noon, she smiled
the moment she stopped coughing, and
pretended it was nothing. I told my
wife not to mind me, just to go on and
look after her sister. She was most wor
ried to death about my dyspepsia" He
paused, nibbling at his toothiick. "I
do not believe that that sulphur water
is going to agree with me, or may be it
is the fried eggs. Of course, ma'aml
Certainly. Ifou LVy hanlaj t writa I
President Tubbs bad the pleasure ol
eating his dinner alone. For supper he
was a few minutes late. There was an
other place prepared at the table. HE
interrupted inquiries about it by pre
sonting himself opportunely with the
occupant, a lady.
"Lot me introduce my wife to you,
ma'am. I telegraphed her this morning
after you left me. I told her to come
right along hero and divort her mind.
I can stand the expense. She didn'l
want to come in to supper but I told heo
you would excuse her appearance,
ma'am. She hasn't had any time to fli
up; been traveling ever since three.
The funeral came off at ten. Sister An.
nio passed away easy and quiet as a
baby going to sleep."
Mention has not been made of his
voice. It was trumpotal in its volume
of sound, and his words, heavy, unmod
ulated projections, fell like missiles of
wood on the ears.
"It was an elegant funeral, my wife
says, and the parson's address she con.
siders a triumph of oratory." This last
sentence seemed also a matter of pride
with him. "I told my wife that she
would like you. Mary, didn't I tell you
you that you would likoe-" lie touched
her on the shoulder to corroborate his
statement, and so she was forced to look
up at last.
His wife! Tlhat his wife! Twenty,
perhaps more. An oval face, black hail
In a heavy mass at the back of her neck,
and eyes that would have been called
the most beautiful in the world if they
had not to be called the most grief.
stricken-eyes of supernatural beauty
and divine suffering. Her mouthi-her
mouth was quivering from lips to chin.
One of the two women had to leave the
table; she could not.
The professor came in to the break.
fast table the next morning alone, but
"I neversleptbetter in my life, ma'am;
and no disturbance of the stomach. Did
you notice that I eat the fried mutton
last night, ma'am? Well, I thought I
would hear from that mutton before
morning; but I did not, ma'am. All
quiet; all serene. My wife she did not
sleep so well-sho is a poor sleeper
and the baby did not sleep at all, she
says. She says she walked him up and
down the room pretty much all night
long. I told her not to mind me, to dc
just exactly as she pleased; not to worry
about mybroakfast and my dyspopsia. I
had brought her here to have her pleas.
uro and I could manage to get along.
And now, ma'am, what shall we do this
"What! Going to leave? Going away!
Oh, you had better not goel You had bet
ter stay a day or two longer. Why, 1
am not going for two or three days yet
Well, if you can't stay- But I am real
sorry. I never did meet a lady whose
society I enjoyed more than yours. J
that your hack, now?"
"Well, I am sorry. I thought we
were going to have a real good time to
gother. You can't change your minds
Well, I am sorry. Let me call my wife
to tell you good-bye. Oh, it's no dis.
turbance; she is just in her room. Maryl
There was no answer either to thecall
or the knock upon the door, near which
we unfortunately were standing. Be.
fore a preventive could be thought of,
it was flung open by his strong, quick
"Come in! Come right in, ma'am
Hero's Maryl She will be delighted to
see you, and right sorry to hear that you
are going away."
The woman, not attempting to rise,
sat as she was, nursing her baby. The
black dress of last night lay thrown
across a trunk. She wore a faded red
calico wrapper; her hair, which had not
yet boon combed, hung in two long,
thick, tangled plaits. IHer face was
still as beautiful as the night before,
only the daylight showed what the dim
light had not, the hectic spot in each
transparent chook and the feverish
brilliancy in her eyes.
"Yes, ma'am, the baby is considered to
favor me; he is what is called in these
parts 'growthy.' I tell Mary he looks
as if he wore going to be self-mado,
Growthyl with a six months' progress
of nose and mouth toward the original
self-made type, and breakfasting as it
he too had chronic dyspepsia, his heavy
little hands grasping and pulling the
breasts to which his large mouth clung
determinatoly. And she had to be the
mother of this, and the wife of teall Oh
A photograph had dropped from her
hand to the floor. It was easy enough
to see the face-not so pretty as Mary's,
but stronger. And this was her first
day in the grave; her first day of rest
on earth, perhaps.
"Well, ma'am, you must excuse Mary.
She is only a country girL and has not
had advantages like you and me."
The professor was forced to the apeol
ogy, for when the photograph was
silently laid in the hand that claspod
the baby. Mary bowed her head and
"Well, ma'am, I really have enjoyed
your conversation. I appreciate culture
wherever 1 find it. I am sorry you can
not see the Male and Female College,
ma'am. I would take pleasure in show.
ing you over it, ma'am. I would have
been pleased to explain to you my sys
tem of co-education of the sexes, ma'am.
Some people are afraid to tackle co-oduca
tion, but I consider, ma'am, that I have
made a success of it. I would have
liked you to see my class in higher
mathematics, ma'am. Why, ma'am, I
have a blackboard as tall as I that ex
tends all around the room! Ant every
recitation it is covered with figures and
problems. We use up one entire box of
chalk every day, ma'am. I--"
Here the driver of the hack whipped
up his mules.-Grace King, in Harper'u
Might Be Improved.
Cynical Boarder-Mrs. Woaktoa, this
steak is vely much like your hopeful
Mrs. Weaktea (landlady) - Because
my son is a little dear, like the steak?
Cynical Boarder-No, madam, this
toalr is like your !ough little boy, be.
cause it misht be lmprove4 b apOUnd
TWO CURIOUS RELICS.
A Couple of the Original English Stamps
Engraved for America.
There have lately come into the pos
session of the National Museum two ar
ticles which are of great interest to
every American and of particular value
to every student of American history.
These are nothing more or less than two
of the original stamps engraved in En
gland for use in the American colonies
in accordance with the provisions of the
Stamp act of February, 1765. This was
the act which caused such an uproar
among the colonies and which was one
of the main causes of all the trouble im
mediately preceding and leading to the
revolution. It was intended that the
revenue to be raised by the Stamp act
should come from the sale of stamped
paper and stamps which were required
to be placed upon all paper used in
commercial transactions, suits at law,
publications, transfers of real estate,
inheritances and marriage licenses.
Thus a tax was placed upon the col
onies without their, consent and the
money derived from this tax was to be
used for the support of a standing army,
which in turn was expected to enforce
the payment of the tax. Apparently no
Englishman dreamed of any resistance
to the act, and it is said that Grenville,
the minister under whom the act was
passed, afterward made the statement
that he would have staked his life on
the obedience of the colonies to the
measure. Of course, however, there
was a decided resistance, as every
American knows, which led to the re
peal of the act in March, 1766, under
the Rookingham ministry. The stamps
themselves were handsomely engraved
and ran in value from a half penny up
to several pounds. The two stamps now
in the museum are of the value of a half
penny and a penny. They are uncan
celed, and are two of eight which were
preserved by the heirs of Hon. Welbore
Ellis, who was Commissioner of Inter
nal Revenue for Great Britain in the
year 1765. After his death they came
into the possession of his son Welbore
Ellis, Jr., who was a partner in the
famous banking house of Walker, Malt
'by, Everett & Ellis, which failed in the
great financial panic of 1827. These
two stamps remained in the Ellis family
up to a few years ago, when they were
riven to Mr. E. J. Walker, of Newcastle
Don-Tyne, by his grandfather, the senior
member of the above-mentioned bank
:ng firm, who was interested in antiqui
iies and curiosities. A short time ago
;he two stamps were given by Mr. E. J.
Walker to John A. Brill, of Philadel
phia. Very soon after the stamps came
into his possession Mr. Brill received
an offer of £10 from an English collector
:or the two, but declined at once, where
upon the Englishman cabled him an
)1fcr several times as large, which was
also declined. Mr. Brill came to the
:onclusion that if the stamps were of that
much value to an Englishman they
would be of much more interest to an
American museum of historical relics
and he promptly presented them to the
I National museum here, where they will
be appreciated and properly preserved.
They will be installed in a handsome
frame, which will have pictures and
proper legends that will help to tell the
story of the causes that led to the Amer.
tcan revolution.-Boston Herald.
SPOILING THEIR FUN.
A Relief Party Meets with a Decidedly
On one occasion, when with the Gov
ernment survey party in Texas, a man
rode into our camp on a mule and gave
us the news that a band of Indians had
attacked a rancher about seven miles
away. We made up a party of twelve
soldiers and civilians and covered the
distance as fast as our horses could go.
Sure enough, there were fifteen or
twenty Indians besieging a cabin, and
they were just getting ready to set fire
to it by backing up a wagon loaded with
hay. We got two of them and captured
six ponies, and the others were not yet
out of sight when the settler opened his
door and stepped out, followed by his
wife. He had a rifle and she a shot
gun, and the first words the man said
"Now, you dog-goned onery lot, but
what does this 'ere mean? Who in the
deuce are you'uns, and what brought
"Why, man!" said our Captain. "We
come from our camp seven miles away
to save you."
"Save nothin'!" roared the man. "Who
axed fur any of your help?"
"Yes, pint him out?" added his wife.
"Why, a settler rode in on a mule and
said you were attacked, and, of course,
we came to your help."
"Well, dod rot you, you hev spilt all
the funl We've been waitin' right yere
fur five years to hey them Injuns show
un, and we'd just got'em red hot fur
fun, when you had to cum chargin' up
an' scatter 'emoff! It was dead wrong
on me and Nance."
"You bet, Sam, dead wrong!" she
"Why, you'd have been burned out in
ten minutes morel" exclaimed the
"We would, eh?" In the first place,
that hay is still wet from the rain. In
the next place, I drawed out the axle
pins, and everywheel would hey run off
in backing ten feet. In the last place,
we jist wanted to git the crowd in range,
and then sweep 'em with the old swivel
I've had mounted back yore fur over
two years. I reckon you meant right
'nUff, but it was dead wrong on me and
Nance, and after this I'll thank ye to
mind yer own bizness. Them Injuns is
gone, and the Lord only knows when
another gang will cum along.
And the pair picked up their hoes and
went to work in the corn patch without
giving us another word or look.-N. Y.
The Polite Thing.
Jones is nothing if not gallant.
Mrs. B--- is exactly the same age as
her husband, but she will not admit it.
"My husband is forty," she said to
some friends the other day; "you
wouldn't believe it, but there's actually
ten years' difference-in our ages."
'"Impossible, dear madaml" hastily
interposed Jones, anixios to siy some.
thing agreoable; "I'm sure you lool
PITH AND POINT.
-We often repent of what we have
said, but never of that which we have
-He that is slow to anger regretteth
not the idiocy incident to a swollen head.
-Oil City Blizzard.
-The man who is always freeing his
mind never realizes what an exposure
he makes of himself.-Boston Post.
-The man who is blessed with a good
memory needs to be blessed with for
bearance, too.-Somerville Journal.
-All things come to those who wait,
is a consoling adage to those who would
rather wait than work.-Galveston
-The mouse that gets caught in a
trap can never be so young that its
friends will not say it was- old enough
to have known better.-Atchison Globe.
-There is no more uncomfortable
thing in the world than a fact, espe
cially when it comes inopportunely in
conflict with a pretty and- graceful
theory.-Detroit Free Press.
-It is easy enough to destroy; and
there are destroyers enough. It re
quires skill and labor to erect a build
ing; any tramp can burn it down. God
alone crn form and paint a flower; any
foolish child can pull it all to pieces.
Rural New Yorker.
-It is of the essence of resource that
it usually lies dormant, and often un
suspected, until necessity awakens it.
It is a draft payable on demand, the
very demand being essential to create
the assets. In a word, it needs the
"power of the moment" to evoke the
"power of the man."
-The billows will go over us at times;
they are so much greater than we. But
they pass as surely as they come, and
we look back to see them break in foam
and disappear forever, while we are but
invigorated by their shock and baptism.
!'Thy billows"-they will never be used
to drown a human soul.-United Pres
--The emotions of love, compassion
and sympathy soon die out in the breast
of one who withholds or delays their
natural expression, or they turn into
a useless or sickly sentimentality;
while in the heart of him who hastens
to i'mbody them in his life and actions
they will become living fountains of joy
to himself, and good to others.-Chris
-Like flakes of snow that fall un
perceived upon the earth, the seeming
ly unimportant events of life succeed
one another. As the snow gathers to
gether, so are our habits formed; no
single flake that is added to the pile
produces a sensible change; no single
action creates, however it may exhibit,
a man's character, but as the tempest
hurls the avalanche down the mount
ain, and overwhelms the inhabitant and
his habitation, so passion, acting upon
the elements of mischief, which per
nicious habits have brodght together
by imperceptible acoumulation, may
overthrow the edifice of truth and virt.
ue.-The Old Homestead.
TOM OCHILTREE OUTDONE.
A Mississippi Congressman's Wonderful
and. Astonishing Yarn.
"Did I ever tell you," said Represent
ative Allen, of Mississippi, a day or
two ago, and the gentlemen around him
drew their chairs closer, "did 1 ever tell
you about the coon hunt I witnessed
once in Florida?' No? 'Well, I was
down in that part of the country some
time ago, and after spending an insuf
ferably dull week, despite the presence
of congenial companions, longed for
some excitement. I was complaining
about the general dullness one day when
a sport of the place said:
"'Suppose we try a "coon" hunt.'
"'What?' I asked.
"'A "coon race,"' said he; 'you don't
know what that is? Well, you set an
alligator after a nigger and see which
can cover the most ground in the short
"And then he proceeded to explain
for my benefit that while an alligator
will run away from a white man, he
will always run as fast as he can afteir
a negro or a hog, if he gets a smell of
the critter. Generally a start of a few
yards is given to the human being and
there is sure to be a great deal of fun;
The nigger always takes to the Wvoods
as fast as he is able, and tries to climb
a tree before the alligator can gobble
him up. If he succeeds in escaping
from the reptile's jaws he is offered a
small prize.' The idea caught our fancy,
and we determined to enjoy the isport.
We bought a big alligator for 842, and
an offer of $10 secured a waiter from.
our hotel as a victim. Of course, even
in Florida, such sport is not admissible,
and when the police heard of our piro
posed amusement they objected. But
my friends were not to be deprived of
their fun on this account. So at mid
night a day or two afterward we and
the alligator and the nigger got in a
wagon and rode to an open place about
three miles from our hotel We went to a
spot which left a distance of about a mile
to the timber on every side. It was as
dark as pitch and one of the liarty held a
light while I, with the alligator grasped
firmly around the waist, allowed the
beast to see and smell the coon. A sig
nal was given and the coon started
away with the 'gator close at his heels.
They dashed along, each making the
effort of his life. I tell you it was a
close and exciting race. One of the beet
I ever saw."
"But who won?" asked one of the au.
"Well, I really never heard. You see
no one ever saw either of the contest;
ants again. When I saw them the coon
was about ten yards from the woods and
the 'gater a couple of feet behind him."
"But you said the woods were a mile
away and it was pitch dark," Tom Ochil
tree ventured toremark, knowingby'ex-'
perience how to disconcert inventors of
Allen, however, was in no way discon
certed. He replied carelessly:
"Oh, the darkywas white with fright
and could be seen against the woods as
clearly as the white letters of a. patent.
medicine advrtimenPton a barn piat
FIGURES DON'T LIE.
SFerow That Are Fuil of Meanlng for
The State of Arkansas makes an hon
est effort to tax equally everything of
value within her borders, the tax rate
being for general State purposes, 2 mills
on the dollar, a like sum being levied for
common school purposes, and 2K mills
raised by officers' fees, sale and redemp
tion of lands, licenses, taxes and fees
from insurance companies, lease of the
penitentiory; etc. This makes a State
tax of about 63 cents on the $100 worth
of property as returned by the tax as
sessbr, and it may be fairly assumed
that the taxes required for county pur
poses amount to about the same rate, or
a total for State and County of 1% per
cent. According to the biennial report
of the Auditor of State for 1887-88,
Montgomery County pay taxes on the
88589 acres of land valued at.....; ..... $15965
Town lots valued at. ................... 1641
Total value real estate and Imp'vm'ts..891,606
Money and cretlts valued at.......... $ 20,5
Other personalty valued at............ 279,8i1
Total value of all property.............81.
Real estate and improvements...........59
Money and credits.................... .0
Other personalty.............. ....... .... 5
State tax. .............. ...$8,078.26
County tar...............::.......... 8,078.26
Total tax.... . . .............6.144.
Estimating that one-half of the value
of the real estate and improvements
consists of improvements, which would
be exempt under the single tax, -we
should have a fund of 895,803 from which
to raise a tax of 86,144.52, which would
require a tax rate" of 6 4-10 per cent.
Montgomery County is a purely agri
dultural county, having but a few small
villages within its confines.
Now compare its taxes with those of
Palaski County, within which is situ
ated Little Rock, the capital of the
State, where nine-tenths of the bank
ing capital, money and credits of the
State are found, and where, according to
popular error, the Single Tax would ex
empt from public burdens the plutocrats
and owners of stocks and bonds:
597,0 acres real estate and imp'v'ts.$Z488,281
Town lots valued at.................. 5,59,06
Total value real estate and :mp'v'te. .7,797,584
Money and credtts valued at........ S 122,815
Other personalty valued at............ 8.188,661
Total value of personal property.... 9.,812,876
Total value of all property............10,109ie,0
Real estate and improvements..... .17
Money and credits................. .1
Other personalty .................31
State tax....... ..............8...9 ,,172.s88
County tax ........................ a68,172.88
Total tax... ......................26,4
Estimatimating as with Montgomery
County that one-half of the real estate
and improvements represents the value
of the improvements, we have the sum
of $3,898,642 from which to raise the to
tal tax of $126,345.76 which could be done
with a tax rate of 3% per cent. JB3t the
State constitution requires the. same
tax rate in all parts of the State, and so
the tax rate in Montgomery County
would be reduced to say 5 per cent upon
its assessment, and aised to'5 per cent
in Pulaski County. Who would get the
best of it under the Single Tax, the
bloated bondholders of Little R6ck or
the horny handed sons of toil in Mont
But there is another thing these as
sessments show. The farmer very well
knows that there is a great deal more
money in proportion to landed property
in Pulaski County than in Montgomery
County. Little Rock alone has in it
more money and more commercial cred
its (that is, debts owned by residents)
than the rest of the State. And yet the
poor farmers of Montgomery. County ap
pear to own four times as much money
and credits, and nearly three times as
much personal property as the wealthy
city men. How is this to be accounted
for, and how is it to be remedied?
It is to be eplained by the fact that
in Montgomery County thetax assessors
are generally the intimate friends of ithe
taxpayers; they kpot every head of
hoigs, cattle, sheep, and horses that the
farmer ownS, are fuilly awsre when he
has loaned any surplus monby'he may
have, which is extremely rare, and are
fully informed as to the value of his
farm: and implements, beiig them
selves owners of fitrms. Iti the 'city,
however, thre iia quite a different state
of things. "The tax .assessors ,are
usually political h'l4eelers, wiwho obtain
theiolooe as fie reward of ~tarty servide
at elections,.and who arg fIst, laitand
all the time "out for the stuff." They
are liable to be "seen" when it is to the
interest of a large property. dwner, and
this operation .ha generallythe efect
of causingtemporary or partial blin
n•ess on the part of the apsessor to the
real Value of the said large property
owner's possessions. -But even'j when
the city tx assessor is honaMt hoV
miuch more dificult a task is his than
that of hi4 rural confrere, 'He must
assess from fifty to a hundre'd different
stocks of goods, to give the actual vaiue
of which would require months of the
time of fifty experts in the various busi
nesses. He must know the cost of silks
and calicoes; horse-shoe nails and fine
guns; flour and gun-powder; "dlamonde
and tinware; the filmy fabric of French
laces and the rough cordage from Ma
nilla. He must be able to estimate the
cost of buildings, from the marble man
sion of the millionaire to the wind
swept shanty of the "poor renter." He
must, to do his duty fairly, be able to
discriminate between the paintings of
Meissonier and the "'ot-boilers" of
home talent; between the old tapestry
which hangs in the wealthy man's hal"
and the' cheap American replica ihfih
the humble imitator of "his niiyi
bags" contents himself withal; Iii
short,'to fairly assess personal property
in a great city is a task whih, wonuld ye
quire superhtuiman ability and more
honesty than is'teadlly to ,ibfound in
these degenerate 'days. -be: is aio
suph' diiclty, howevelr;, if gettht at
baea'latsd ejiher in the city or the coun
:t~ 1RtJt4ty!jC~h~`irp k~j rU6 ##s~tar*; 4~5
ean sit in his office and give you very.
close to the cash value per front foot of
any lot you may name; in the country
any three honest farmers can tell the
value of any given tract of land after
allowing fairly for the improvements
that have been put upon it by the energy
and enterprise of its owner. .
Then, too, the single tax would have
the effect of making every holder of " ='
land, who is not using it, let it go,0 at
once. This in the city would enable the
working man to get him a building lot
near' his place of work for very little
money; and in the country it would- pro -
vide a farm for every farmer's boy. when -
the boy was large enough to need i.
farm. The tax of 5 per cent on the ba e
land value of ' Montgomery County " "
farm would- rui a land speculator; the `' "
taxes would eat him up. But the farme
who paid no taxes on his houses, barns,'f:occ
fences, cost of clearing, stook, etc.,. ':
would pay, as we have seen, l .( per cent
less than he does now, if only the sa .. rsaam :
revenue is raised. .
Just let the farmers who see this arti
clestudy these figuresas'bit, turn them
over in'their -minds, rtminate dnthem,
as it were, and perhaps they will see
where the single tax will get close to
them for their good.
R. G(. Buown, Memphis, Tenn. i
MR. HOWELL& AND THE CAT.
Is "A Hazard of New Fortdnes? a slagle
Tax Tract In Disguise t
The novelists are beginning to. see
that all is not well. Two years or more. :
ago Mr. Howells, in "Annie Kilburn,"
sent a cold shiver down the book ofthose:
lazy pious people who .wrap: themselves
in a mantle pt selfish oomfortandexcuse
themselves from the labor of. thini ng .
by parroting "The poor ye have always
with you." . Mark twain dropped re . ~- --
cently into the same irreverent vein in "
"A Connecticit Yankee In King Arthur's'
Court," as the columns of The Standard
have shown; and now Mr. Howells again '_
jars the proprieties by talking 'high.'
treason against the sacredness of things"
as they are. In "A Hazard of New For- ::
tunes," part 2, chapter 12, oocur these
words in answer to the question, "How -
much money can a man honestly earn w:wg p
without wronging or oppressig ,some
Not the most gifted man that ever
lived, in the practice of : any art or-.
science, an4 paid at the highest rate,- :
that exceptional geniius could ust'ly. de
mand from those who have worked for.:
their money, ;could ever-earn a million'
dollars. It Is the landidrd and the mir
chant princes, .the railroad- kings and
the coal barons h(the oppressors iioj i
you instinctively give the tit les of
rants)-it is these that make the
lions, -but. no man i earns' them. W::V it,.
artist, what physician, what fscientist,>.
what-poet was ever a'milli naire? :
The last sentence of ta,'P obapt is '
3, "'Progress and Poverty " i: ;:' 'How'..`;
many men are there who fairly e ir~
million dollars?" If this little'so ront
of Mr. Howell's, from the lips a Lof 4
dan, were not directly Inspie'r- ib ?
readiig .of the text- quoted, fr! -. .rom :
greoss andPoverty," theathe oooncid ee.
is merely a fresh illustration of 4 the
often-noticed facthat wisiden'the orld.i
is ready for a new -trut, t is l:itsei t .
sporadically in;the air and takes root at
the Same time In. many plao s,.. ---. i;
The farther elaboration of the enti.' :
,ment quoted has a curionslyfa '
Yes, when they. have gatheed.. the3:-
millions together from the- hunge.r at .;
cold and nakedness andmire and `d.-eg. ,
spair o' hundreds of thousands ,ofotltr
men, tey "give work" to thepo
They give work! They allow,
helpless brothers to earn enough t, "
keep life In them! They give wirli: .
Who is it gives toil, and where will
your rich men be when once the poor.
shall refuse to give toil?
And again in chqpter 8, part 5, r `l
But whatI bbject to is this ecoonomisi~ : i
chanceworld, in which .we live, e.-o:. i
which we men semin to have create& . It
ought to be law, as inflexible in'hmuasu.
affairt s as the order 1day and hth tl,
the physicaI wvorld, thalt ff a man w*i11, r'-'
work he shahll bith -rest ande t ande,,-:'
shaUl not be -harrassed w
ltion as to how his repose and , ii -
shall come. Nothing less -llal: tlis' -,
thi~s satisfes the reason. But in or ,
state of things'no o ne is seiir0 6 f l hii
No one is sure- of fnding ,workpa oie. -.
is intre of not losing it, I may h.rtej -:y .
work taken away from me tany me ;-::
menutby the caprice, the 'tha In.
digestion of &n ma who-h iot thli . -sl,
ifloatlon for knowing -whether fri ot.': --i
well orill, Atmytimeolie-ete
time of life-a man ought to fee t h : --
-he will kdelepson doIp nghlatuthe shal
not suffer ifnse ome r-lltith hdsehieau ". '--.
dear to him, except through naturil -;,,4.
caunses. But no man can f1eel thi.s l.
things are now; al .so we.go: n0·. b
ing and pulltn,, limbing and e w .
.-thrusting.aside a.nd troampingp andde':" -
foot;lying,chea.llng, stealing; adwh ".et .. -
we-get 16 the efld, coverl With blo .
and. dlrt-stefisinend s ninzand- l .id
back over .the way w've ~- come toa l
ace of rour own, or the poor ionse-waeh'
is about -the- only possession we ,can- ":.,
olatih incommon with our brothermene- -,:
I don't think the retrosleotpet a.i 'i.:.be
Atter the above, Is it perspissible to"
suspect that Mr. Howelle hs seen the ,, ::
cat? .PAv L. Tonehiona . . :.
P-infield, N. . - . ..
tG The fIrmer who ourthiat omw m
-farm with his own ban d.i.s 1, .i 'land-.'
owner, is is t'u:e bitt h s t n g.reater
degree a labores aid in owner·a p of
stochk improvempentaos, .tQooso, t., a
capitalist. :ItLs ftom his : ab : ei, aided
by -his capital, rathet -than -fom anvy
advantage represented .by the vL.ue of. :i:
his land, that he derives his it.l ,
Hisisp in interest is that of a s p
not that of a landowner. v"-i
.The Bouffalo 8anday TfrutSA mays l l
AW: Wright, of the GenerslBxeon4'+ve -
Board he Knigh ts f bor o a: n