Newspaper Page Text
"The World is Governed Too Much."
. SSAT, Business Managr, ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, 1891. VO. XVI.-1
, .... L...., - ·-'- '. . . .. . .
MY MOTHEIR'S VOICE.
i hetr it in the bLe: throng
hear it :wh i alona;
YErar it li t:i. r,): .:cibt) earth,
The .1 nolClodio(t: toon.
I h'nr it . 'r, i .I heltrt is sad;
I bter it tub- _ I in gay.
1i not , a',:l me eve' cihore3
Tae ;,etest vaieo for aye!
I.leai s::a- a ck when lifed 'a1 nor;
erclls of thob.e happ; houru
I pass'd in c i! tlofd's isunnsiy vale,
,eonc t'lc on: ni2ng lfl-,wer..
Ta.k; to 1in of fnmy loulntain hlome,
'fmh:ot ho of 1:omc:; to me.
Enhraven on :::y heart of hearts,
i')rever the:' t hte.,
TlAi mulel: oi this voice I hear
AbMrt the wi,rl ' rouh rough ,
LdOe whi,&per froomanthecr sphere,
Some c a!ht g!:;. .l shore:
Sweet harp-:git: s from the lyre of time,
Arounl lei n:rl within.
They gaSil' with csnquering ecatasy,
To lure my soul from sin.
-John Ilrris, in N. Y. Weekly.
IKE. IRENNAN 'S WATCH.
A Preity Woman and a Clever
Lawycr Kept Him Buny.
"If you think your cousin is a
jconndrol, younglt man, why, say the
word, if it's neccess:ry to say anything.
It's mean to shake a man's good name
away with a shako of your head-that's
what 1 think."
like Brennan pushed back hi:; I'ana
Ia and looked with anything but ap
proval at Lyman Snced leaning, in
spotless ilannels, against the China
In spite of hi; dapper appearance he
was not a pleasant youngt man to look
at lie hald that uncertain, nervous
way, so irritating to the honest and
purposeful, anti it stood written on his
face that he had not loved a living soul.
No, not even the pretty Nona I)uval,
whom he quit Ike to go and meet. IIe
thought he loved her, but no feeling
that possessed him was a more thor
oughly sclfish one.
His cousin, I)ick Burleson, loved
Mona--that wovas quite sufficient to
make Lyman Snecd sure that she was
necessary to his happiness. So lie went
eagerly now to meet her. Ike watched
him up the street, muttering:
"Of two evils, choose the least; but
I've allers noticed that women, of two
men, choose the worst; wonder if little
`Nona '11 do that same thing? 11cr
father rode through many a darned
fight by my side,--calculate I'll take
sides here-yes, sir."
lie rose slowly, lifted his rifle, and
went trailing up the hot avenue. 1le
was on the lookout for Dick, and very
soon found him among a lot of rough
teamsters who were loafing in one of
the principal stores. Dick whs racd'
ingto them a New York paper, and
backing up his own side of some politi
cal question with a good deal of fervor.
The men were pulling their beards and
listening with that true Texas phlegm
which might at anymoment turn into
Ike waited until the end of one of
Dick's flowing periods, and then said:
"Thar, l)ick, that'll do for the busi
nes of the nited States; supposing
you come now with me and look after
your own a spell.''
It was so unusual for Ike Brennan to
meddle. in anyone's affairs that Dick
gave instant heed to his invitation; and
with a final broadside of splendid ad
jectives for his own party, he joinedt
Ike, and they sat down together in the
first quiet, shady seat.
"Lyman Sneed is playing the mis
chief with your good name, Dick. It's
against my habit to look after any
body's but my own: but I've reasons
contrary this time."
"Lyman Sneed! He is, is he?" And
Dick instinctively put his hand on the
leathern sheath that held his knife.
"No tools, Dick, of that kind. It's
me that is making this quarrel, you
know, and I let nobody do my fight
. don't sa
Wd shat dkesid head, and tssay?"h
'hat, anis it; he says iothing you canit
get ho'ld of. Pnities his uncle nor bad,-pities
Ltna Dual-manu is like , you coa l--if he
"He don't yh, blackgn.s. Only don'ters
tod shakes his headjust what he shgants
ad lhake stind for drinking, gamb-n;
l s allything you likeof you, and if"
"im'ln witell, that's all."'
"You'll say neither tae my politisr bad,
ankLy opinionman is romlike a inle oackl-if lie
thrleson, no, notes for all his ho-Lymanl
ick -t, and ht is jusat tle a owantsl
eOdo;gisvanold man, a it to the old man;
thik Jsck Burleson tia of gone prettyif
oabl oer; stanwson't try to please him, why,
Lyman will, that's al."
Scmy ontradictns frome half the time for
dery sake of aforht. l hi does not-wal
lia rorrt nowd, anti htle hasn't anygold
"ie an olduries to buDick. tLife is
ontry JaDick Burleson has gone prettyis
obutOughplease or stands to reas on't he
oows a sit more 'n is writ inyou."
"e contradi'tctso medd half the time forits,
t very sake of a conversation wadoes over,
Sinto aurt ohis watch, sasn't anylso
L ws or juries to bully. Bu it ie
k Dick it rleson say black is
W t please him desk, dashed his hat in't."
cr ad liftred his feet to a ycom
S Ottituld. is big oots and goo
l on l nting ore shn is writ ihis
;.} th S ray'es" teamsters, a n."
.4nd don' teamstersddle indeed! I don't,
k Saw the conv makes you rwn afts over
lookiug at his watch, saw also
"I was getting their votes for my
side, uncle, and making friends against
the day I want their votes for myself."
A flash of keen pleasure shot into
the old man's eyes, but he was far too
full of fight to abandon the dispute.
lle first attacked Dick's politics, then
his personal appearance and abilities;
without bcing conscious how priovoking
One bitter word followed anotheF- till
all three men were on their' feet, and
Lyman, with a little scream, had
Suslhcd betwcen his uncle and his cousin.
Dick laughed uproariously at the inter
vention, and kicking it out of his way,
"Good-by, unclci I'Mi rot going to
quarrel any miore with you. The world
is big enough, I reckon, for both of us
-and for our opinions."
lie went straight to Ike, who was sit
ting just whlcre l1 efbthim, and said:
"Ike, tell uncle, ir a couple of days,
that I have gone west; and that there's
no ill bloo;l between us; and, Ike,
watch Nona for me until I can come
"You are bound to goi then?"
"Yes; the old mail is fire and 1 am
gunpowder. We are better apart-that
"Go 'long, then; I'll watch what you
Dick felt unhappy enough at leaving
Nona. She lived alone with her father
and he was; not always the best of pro
tectore. I)ick spent tile rest of the day
ly her side and left town in the cool of
the evening in no very despondent
mood. Nona had promised everything
he had asked of her, and all the rest
lie had some land and cattle on the
San Marcos, and he purposed putting
up a pretty house there gradually,
mainly with his own hands. In two
years he would sell some of his increase,
furnish it, marry Nona, turn grazier,
and run for the legislature. When he
went back he would "make it all right"
with his uncle, and, being so far apart,
they could keep right, and if not, and
he lost his share of Jack Burleson's
estate, made 'money was better than
given money, anyway.
For a week after l)ick's departure the
old man hoped against hope; but one
day, when Ike Breniaun carelessly
asked: "When is Dick coming back
from the west?" then he knew the lad
had gone to shift for himself, and, lone
ly as it left him, he thoroughly liked
Dick for doing it. After this Ike and
the judge spent much time together.
The kept up a perpetual quarrel, but
they were well matched, and after a
year's disputing, the victorSyn every
single point was a disputed 6idc. Some
times; tit the end of a loilg argument,
and a long silenced thei~dge w'buld say:
"Have you heard anything?" and then
Ike, shaking his hgad, and shaking the
ashes fromn his ppe,l would rise and go
,away/..<. - .. :..-.
Early irr tho second year the judge
-had an- accident tliat completely inva
lided him; and after somne months' de
cline he quietly passed i away. Singu
larly enough, there was no will found,
and Lyman kneed took possession of
everything. No Dick appeared to dis
pute his claim. Ike smoked away in
his old, shady corner, and smiled queer
ly to himself when he saw how diligent
ly Lyman began to improve the city
lots, and how cleverly he collected and
invested the outstanding 'accounts of
In all things but one Lyman'sfortune
prospered--Nona still refused. all his
attentions. But as soon is the judge
was dead he began to use stronger
means of persuasion. Nona'i - father
owed him a large sum, and their home
was mortgaged. for its payment. Ly
man soon let father and daughter see
on what terms only the Duval place
could be saved; and the father cared
too much for his own indulgence not to
press with all his power so desiiable a
method of clearin g off his liabilities.
Nothing of this plan, however, came
to Ike's knowledge until one night old
Dural, in a fit of maudlin intoxication,
revealed it. -Then he went home full
of anxiety. Hie hid no money that
would touch Nona's needs, and he had
not yet heard anything from Dick.
"I'd give twenty of my best cows to
kfio ifth'e flld6w is dead or afire," he
said, as he pushed open the latchless
door of his log cabin. A man was sit
ting in his own chair fast asleep.
"Dick at last!"
One soul wakes another, and Dick
opened his eyes wide and answered:
"lHer lam, Ike!"
"You tormenting youngster, where
have you been?"
"Evcrywhere, Ike, and precious little
luck either. At last I went to Yuba
andt Nevada, and tried hard to make my
pile. Two month'. ago Jim IHarrison
straycedl up there and told me uncle was
dead, and Nona going to marry Lyman
Suced. I couldn't stand that, and so I
came along with what I had."
"Only eight thousand dollars."
"That's enough. I guess you'll find
yourself richer than you think."
The next morning, Nona Duval com
pletely amazed Lyman Snced by enter
ing his office accompanied by Ike Bren
nan and paying in full every claim he :
lnd on the Duval place. But he was
still more amazed by an official notice
to meet, next day, the heirs of Jack
liurleson and hear his will read. He
found at the place appointed Dick
Iurleson, Nona Duval, Ike Brennan
and three of the principal citizens of
the place. The will, leaving nearly
everything to Dick, was without a
flaw. Lyman simply received one hun
dred dollars for every month during
which he had taken care 6f the-estate.
"lie took very good care of it, gen
tlemcn," said Ike, "just as good care as
if he thought Dick would never come
back. lie has earned hlis money, you
bet. Iut I'm glad my watch is over-
very. I have been kept too wide awake
for anything, between a pretty woman
and a clever lawyer."-Amelia E. Barr.
in N. Y. Ledger.
=A new method of preparing wood
pnlp composition for moldings is de
scribed, in which the wood pulp is
mixed with bronze powders, aniline or
metallic colors, so as.to give a uniform
QIr of any deiroi sha4o to t~bo pulp
CROOK'S NARROW ESCAPE.
The Ind'an Fighter Chased Ily an Angr'
Redskin Whom He Had Burined.
The trouble with thc'Sidui in Dakota
is bringing to the surface many old
stories about Indians and Indian fight
ers, partieulaily about the late Gen.
George Crook, who was regarded dur
ing his life=time by many 'jcdple its hatv
ing inore intimate acquaintance with
the Indian and his traits than any other
white man. He had lived in their re
gion so long and had taken such a act
ive interest in themr that ho was thor
oughly posted as to their traits, tenden=
Cies ani tiCeds, and their wags of think
ing and doing. This knowledge was
utilized in his campaign against them
with great effect, and frequently his
success in satisfactorially solving tough
aboriginal problems was due more to
his acquaintance with the natures of
the people whom he was fighttng than
to any other cause. 11e was asked by
a trader once why he did not make an
advance so as to hurry tp the Indians
in something that it was desired they
should do, and he replied - "I suppose
that if I were to go out there"-indicat
ing a vast field in front of his headquar
ters between him and the Indian camp
-"and sit down and do nothing at all I
should be able to get the Indians to
hurry faster than if I pushed the cam
paign in the way of active hostilities."
Future events showed the wisdom of
SWhen he was a lieutenant serving on
the "plains," as the entire western
country was called in those wild days,
he encouraged the friendly Indians
within reaching distance of his post,
wherever it might be, to come to his
quarters and visit him, so that he might
study their characteristics and bcboowe
thoroughly acquainted with the ways
and languages of the various tribes
with which he was brought into con
tact. Hence it was that Crook's quar
ters, whether house or tent, were usu
ally supplied with one, or more of these
questionable ornaments stowed away
in some section or other, making him
self perfectly at home, for if there is
one thing above another that an Arner
ican Indian can do in a thoroughly art
istic manner it is to utilize the advap
tages of hospitality on the part of somen
one else to the last extreme: Finaljly,
Lieut. Crook grew a little tired of hav
ing Indians come to his qfiarters at all
hours and spread thqniseryes atl' over
the premises, . so he' began to' .play
pranks on them to induce them to be
more careful about their visits. lie
therefore began a series of practical
jokes upon them, one of which is still
told by those who.:heard of it at the
time with great gusto. :
A great.fellow of the regulation cop
per hue walked into Crook's house one
day in the winter, without any sort of
warning, as was the custom, and, strid
ing up to the fireplace, turned
his back to the blaze and, lift
ing his blanket slightly; proceeded
to warm the calved 'of his legs,
to the great annoyance of those assem
bled. The Indian was perfectly com
placent and failed with true aboriginal
stupidity to take the various hints that
were thrown at him until he received a
most decidedly convincing one at the
hands of the host, who on the pre
tence of fixing the fire, walked
around the immovable figure before the
grate and heated the poker slightly and
then gave with it.an allopathic applica
tion to the bare skin of the Indian's leg.
There was a yell and a war whoop as
the maddened Indian plunged wildly
around the room, first in an endeavor
to discover what had struck him, and
then, when he had found out, in a fran
tic effort to capture Crook, who found
that valor was not the thing for such
an occasion and fled precipitately, pur
sued by the shouting savage. The chase
was described by those who witnessed
the incident as being funny in the ex
treme to all but Crook, who soon found
that he had a very serious problem to
solve in evading that pursuer. He
finally ran upstairs and hid himself in
a closet while the Indian was riaging
around in his search. From that tipre
forth Crook had immunity on his b'wn
hearth from the encroachmeats of In
dians, although some of his'donipanions
asserted that a few of his gray hairs
found their origin in that terrible chase.
-Washiqgton Star. , .~ :
FRUIT CULTURE IN GERMANY.
Interestig Facts Concerning the Industry
in Early Times.
An article published not long ago in
t1. Illustrirta Gartenzeitung of Vienna,
gave, on the authority of old state pa
pers, some interesting facts with regard
to the fruit cultnrq of forindr'times in
the kingdom of Wui·temburg.! Itseems
that the earliest mention of this indus
try is found in accounts of the stestruc
tion of vineyards and orchards during
the wars of the thirteenth and four
teenth centuries, while the first record
ed edict for their proteefign dates from
1515, and imposes a fine on anyone who
shall cut down fruit trees, wild or cult
ivated, on opjen grounds. Another edict,
dated 15.', declares that children
caught stealing fruit shall bet punished
by their fathers, or imprisoned, or put
in baskets anti dipped in-r the water.
That wild fruits were still.largely de
pended upon is pro~ved ,byran ordinance
of the year 156I,6i'sying that a cultivat-.
or may pick up 'the fruit from wild
trees, but mjtst not shake them, as
what remains on the branches must be
left for the animals, which at that
period the upper classes so greatly de
sired to hunt. It appears that the
planting of fruit trees was not pre:
scr-ibed until 1600, when the setting out
of mulberry trees was ordered. Each
grown oan under the age of forty was
to plant one, and each stranger coming
to reside in the province was to plant
two on public land; and from later
edicts it appears that the fruit of such
trees could be gathered by the
planter during his life time, and
then by his widow, but that af
ter htb~ death they reverted to the
commune. The edict of 1055, which
declared that fruit trees must not
be planted nearer than seven feet and
nut trees not nearer than ten feet to a
neighbor's boundary line still holds
good. The mulberry continued in high
honor through the.eighteenth century,
for we read of an orderdated 1755 which
pare bai the plentinj of alU ada
with two lines of these trees standing
sixteen feet apart In the following
year apple and pear trees are also
hamed for such service, but merely in
positions. were mulberries would not
grow or bear. Only in 1792 was heed
paid to the fact that the interval be
tween the trees which iufficed for mubl
berrids was insuficient for the other,
sorts. Then a distance of twenty-four
feet was prescribed for old roads and
of thirty-two feet for new ones.
In 1718 a desire to maifitain the repu
tation of the vineyards which produced
the then famous Neckar 'win-; balled
foith an order against the plantting of
fruit trees in vineyards, accompanied
by sentence of immediate deathl against
all that had already been thus planted.
unless..they were over .fifty years.of
age; when they might be presetied uun
til their time of beariing should' be oveir
In 1728'a money re*atrd Wfs oierAd for.
the destruction of waspss nests:
'Until the' end of the last cent-iry
there were no nurseries of fruit-trees in
Wurtemberg. The first was founded
by Duke Charles Eugene when he estaht
lished the Karls Akademie on his estate
"La Solitude," and decided that horti
culture should be among the branches
taught. The father of the poet-Schil
ler was, after his retirement from the
army, for many -years director of this
Wine is, of course, mentioned very
early in this series of public documents,
but only in 1044 does one read of inns
where beer as well as wine is sold, and
drinks made from other 'fruits than the
grape are not mentioned until 1050.
The preparation on a large scale of all
such drinks is then forbidden on ac
count of the practice of using them to
adulterate wine. It. is only permitted
to each farmer to' prepare a certain.
stipulated small quantity for- the con
suniption of his own household. Other
wise, it is dnelared,.it would -soon be
impossible for ,the poor, and especially
for women, to get their needful draught
of pure wine, to say nothing of the ruin
that might- come on the country at
large were this capital industry to
deteriorate. A little later eventhe fab
rication of small amounts of cider is for
.bidden; but:it seems t, have been im
possible to enforce so radical a measure,
and there is soon areturn to laws which
do not prohibit,- but strictly control and
limit its making. . Not until 1735, how
ever; was the sile ~f cider allowed, and
even then the wihrnnig against its ad
mixture with wine was reiterated.
Sometimes the two'beverages could not
even: be sold at the 'same time, though
eider might:be alone. The use of cer
tain inferior kinds of. fruit for brewing
drinks is also often forbldden even at
this late- date.' Much fruit seems to
have been used in those days for cook
ing purposes, even more,. proportion
ately, than at present, although the
Germaris are- remarkable to-day' for
their love' of this kind of food. Ye
cooked preparations of fresh fruit seem
to have been almost exclusively em
ployed, for references to dried fruits
are few, and the prices named for them
in 1622 are so high that they appear to
have been then a luxury. These care
ful and strict regulations, of which we
have here quoted only a few among
many, prove that the government of
that time took a truly paternal interest
in the affairs of private cultivators as
well ,as of the commune as such. But
there can be no doubt that such regula
tions did much to encourage the devel
opment of local industries, or, at least,
to keep them in the best path that the
wisdom. of the time could discover.
Moreover, they were sometimes in the
direction of enlarging, not restricting,
the'liberty of poor farmers, as is pro
vided by a law of 1567, which gave them
the right to transplant young wild fruit
trees from the forests without any pay
ment therefor. This 'privilege was a,
greater one than it may seem to modern
readers, for there were vastly greater
numbers of such trees, in the forests
then than nown; and it was-also more of
-a' concession than we can easily realize,
fo0dr~ htidg was then the one great
"amusement of the rich, anil not only
beasts of the chase were carefully pre
served, but likewise the woods wherein
they found their food. It should be
noted, however, that the permission
is given for personal use only; no trans
planted tree to be sold, and it seems as
though each peasant were allowed to
take but a single tree.a--Gardon and
The Boy Traveler's Adventure.
Ernest Morris, who died recently,
tvah known as "the boy traveler."
-While yet in his teens he decided to
-visit the wilds of the- Amazon basin,
and when he returned well laden with
all sorts of nicely preserved specimens
illustrating different- branches of nata
.cal history and ethuology,his story was
toldiin all the newspapers as showing
what a determined and iptelligent lad
could do. Ihis experience.fifteen hun
dred or two thositsh-t'inmiles up the great
valley only whetted hi ambition to en
gage in. other adventures hi the same
region, and in .th4 edurse of time he
made a number of vbfyages to the Am -
kon basin. Sdmnitimes he would bury
his~1 f dr months in the great forests;
where 3h^~aw no white people, and
lived aiion the savages of those re
-gions, .who ook a liking tohim. -Mor
.is-1new :very well the taste of monkey
stew and like the natives among whom
he wandered, he moro than once ap
peased ils hunger with a meal of snake
meat, which he declared to be not at a;l
:di a reeible. He was evidently- able to
uppress the. hnaginatoini, and could eat
without a qualm qnjthiig that would
appeiiase his huniger.-Boston Beacon.
To Tell Timeli Your teard.
"I never carried awatch in my life,"
said a New Yorkeibf fifty. "A watch
is a habit, not a ~ecessary article. No
man who carrieg, a watch'- can be any
icore regular in his habits than I am;
I can get up at a certain minute,and do
so every morning.- !cean.ttell-the. tine
of day by feeling my face. The beard
grows exactly so much, and you can
come within a reasonable titme of the
hour by passing the hand over your
chin. Not that it is often necessary,
because regular habits soon become
second nature, and you never think of
wondering about the hour. Of course,
the man who lives on trains and boats
a good deal has to wear a timepizog
in ~?;aI~ltY- -1V.jr~ _
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL,
--A Meadville fisher:ran takes all his
ea-p with a hook and line. His method
Is to throw bread erumbs.on'the water
and then when the fish get to feeding
hicely to put a good fat crumb on his
hooks being always certain of a bite.
=Dd Baldac wasted untold gold iupon
gatid:yewerlfy, us!eless kiliiktlacke and
fantastic "curios," ihich, during his
fretltient paroufsms of impecuniosity,
he resold to sharp-witted dealers at a
.,iuinous loss-frequnettly for less than a
hundredth part of their original cost.
-Idonoclasts have sought to throw
doubt on the old John Knox house in
the Carlotigate of Elinburgh, as the
formier home of the great Scotch re
formei' but Sir Daniel Wilson, of To
ronto, the. author of 'Old Edinburgh,"
defends the tradition as not inconsis
-Bishop French, of England, whc
died recently in Arabia, was known as
"that many-tongued man of Lahore,"
for he could preach in English, Persian,
Hindustani, Pushto. Hindci, Tamil and
Punjabi, and was an eminent scholar in
Hebrew, Arabic, Syrinc, Greek and
-It is claimed by old people in Kings.
ton, Outario, that Sir John A. McDon
aid derived his genius from ,his mother,
who is said to have been a tall, energet
ic and hospitable Highland lady, quick
at repartee and at grasping situations.
Both his father and mother, however,
were in straitened circumstances and
lived very humbly.
-Miss Louise Nicolson, of Washing.
ton, better known as Nikita, has lately
finished her third tour in Russia, which
has lasted over a year and a half. She
has visited the principal cities of west.
ern, southern and eastern Russia.
Nikita is now in Germany, and will
take a well-earned rest at Ems previous
to resuming her vocation.
-A clever, thrifty little woman at
Wichita, Kan., is the happy possessor
of a new black silk which she earned in
the most peculiar way. Every time
her husband bought twenty-five cents'
worth of cigars she laid a like amount
away in a drawer. In less than a year
she had enough to buy the silk and pay
for the making and trimmings.
---While Mr. Gladstone was confined
to his bed during his recent illness, con
stant inquiries were made for his health
by workingmen in the vicinity as well
as by his titled neighbors. Mrs. Glad
stone gave orders that the men should,
in every case, receive courteous atten
tion, and that the. fullest information
of the patient's condition -should be.
given them. -
-The jewels'of that ill-fated Queen;
Marie Antoinette, whose tragic death
glorifies a frivolous life, are now on sale
in London. The price of a single pair
of earrings is $65,000, butthe stones are
of wonderful brilliancy. A. large point
ed drop cut in facets like the pendants
of chandeliers is suspended from a large
circular diamond by a tiny silver pin,
-A positive nuisance has grown out
of a new advertising trick by which
certain companies, notably in Boston
and Chicago, are pushing their :wares
by getting little boys to act as peddlers
and agents in the hope of "getting a
bicycle free." These companies sell
books, baking powders, and lawn
mowers in this way, demanding a large
sale in return for a cheap bicycle. The
trick is practiced to such an extent that
the average neighbor's child is ten
times more of a terror than nature
"A LITTLE NONSENSE."
-He-"So vou wooed and lost, did
you?" He-"No, she returned all my
-"Where are you going my pretty
maid?" "The other way, good sir,"
she said. And there the flirtation
-Clergyman-"Were you ever tried
by flre, young man?" Young Man (re
cently discharged by employer)--"No;
but I've been fired after having been
tried."-N. Y. Morning Journal
-Fly Talk.--First Fly-"Hi there,
Bluebottlel Come over here. There's
a keg of molasses here." Second Fly
"Molasses be hanged.. I know where
there's a white and gold parlor that's
never been touched."--N. Y. Sun.,
I---Lawyer Bestpoint-"Your hono. I
aik for a verdict of no cause for action.
The plaintiff's cow didn't get off the
track when the engineer rung his bell."
Keyork O'Schmitzer (fromn Podunk)
"Naither, yer honor, did the engine get
off the track when the cow rung her
-Emily (reading)-"Algernon only
clasped her the more firmly in his pas
sionate embrace and rained moist kisses
upon her averted face---" Henry (hex
lover) - "flow exquisite, how-"
Johnny (under the sofa)-"Why didn't
she raise her umbrella?"-Minneapolis
.-UI hope you will cut me down as
soon a"c0rnvenient after the job is
done," said the culprit to the hangman.
"'Why, what-differepece can it make to
you. after yoi aire deadt?" . "Ab. my
friend, you must remember that shs
pense is worse than death."-N. Y.
---'A Maidea's Suggestion.-lle-" How
pretty the mrmniolight falls upon the sea
and 'on the beach." She-"Yes, but
~don't you think it is even more beauti
mul still among the bowlders away from
the hotel?" It had occurred to her that
he, too, might be bolder over there.
-Miss Sweet MTart--"I see, George
dear, that twoseated carriages are nou
being rin by electricity. Couldn't yot
manage to get one?" Mr. Mashed--"I
ihight try; but what would be the ad
vantage?"' Miss 'Sweet Tart-"Why,
you wouldn't have to bother with the
r.eins then, wouldyou?"Colorado Sun.
-Clearly Inceorrigible. -Diseouragec
Father-"I don't know what to do witt
the boy. Lie gets. worse and worse all
the time." Friend of the Famly--"Dc
you try to develop the moral and re
ligious side of his ttnre?" Discour
aged Father-"Do I: I've whippedthat
boy a thousand timn for not commit
ting to memory his glar twenty-flive
vemgee a day from tb Psalm".-imu'Ctio
SINGLE TAX D)EPARTMENT.
SINGLE TAX THESES. -
1. Lowering the margin of produc
tion, other things being equal, raises
rent and lowers wages, besides lessen
2. Holding valuable land out of use
lowers the margin of production, other
things being equal.
3 Laud speculation involvesthehold
leg of valuable land out of use.
4. Land speculation is unavoidable so
long as land pwners receive the in
,roase in value created by. the commu
5. The single tax would make the
holding out of use of valuable land un
profitatºle, and would thus throw open
for use that which' is now so held,
' tithelr from speculative motives or from
no motive. - .
0. The single tax would thus raise
wages, thereby being a help to labor
ers. It'would also help capitalists, by
relieving capital. from taxation. It
would hurt no one but landowners, and
them only in so far as they were neither
laborers nor capitalists.
7. The landowner, as such, is of no
use to the community.
8. All men have originally an equal
natural right to land.
9. There exists theoretically no way
in which this right can possibly be
10. A landowner can require another
.to pay him any price he asks;.if this
other must use his land.
11. Every man must use some land.
12. Therefore (10 and 11), where all
land is in. the hands of owners, they
can force the landless to give up a cer
ain amount of property to them. (And
they do it.)
13. There is no sufficient reason for
giving the increase in value created by
the community to the landowner. It
belongs to the; community, and no one
suffers a hardship when the community
14. Movable or producible property
tends to go from a place where it is
heavily taxed to a place where it is
lightly taxed, or is permitted to escape
taxation. Therefor. the abolition of
taxes on such property in any nation,
state or town would be, a means of at
tracting such propeirty, while the strict
and impartial enforcement of laws for
its taxation is a means of driving it
15: InXcome and succession tax6s like
wisetend to drive away the rich.
1t. A taC on property which is the re
sult of labor, or wlhich has been saved
by thrift, l'eserisl the inducement to
such.labor and: thrift .,.
17. A tax which increases the cost of
owning or using any implement or car.
'rying on -iny process' of prodduction or
trade, hinders such productionor trade;
except that sometimes such a tax con
centrates the business in the form of a
monopoly, whose power. mayj be a
18. Such a tax always tends to mo
nopolyluid to the crushing out of small
producers by increasing the amount of
capital necessary for carrying on a
given amount of business.
19: Such a tax, entering into the cost
of the goods, is paid by the consumer In
his purchase, and falls on consumers in
proportion .to their purchases. But in
general, the larger a man's hicome is
the smaller is the proportion of it which
he spends for his own consumption.
Therefore, among those who pay any
such tax it falls heavieston the poorest,
20. Such a tax takes from the con
sumer an unnecessary amount beyond
what it gives to the government, be
cause the tax enters into the cost of the
goods, and thus the trader must charge
a profit on the tax as well as on the
other cost in order to get the usual
profit on his whole capital. The effect
of the tax in encouraging monopolies
may make production cheaper, and thus
neutralize this, but the monopoly is
more likely to involve an additional tax
on the consumer.
21. Such a tax, by its interference
with private business, give private
parties a direct pecuniary interest in
having it laid or removei, not necessari
ly coinciding with the .interest they
have in the well-being of the communi
ty as a whole, and thus increases the
inducement to corriuption in govern
ment. This is especially true where it
falls on one particular industry, as with
each of the multitudinous special taxes
which make up our tariff.
22. The increase in the price of land,
occasioned by land speculation (see
Nos. 1-5), is in'effect such a tax on the
holding and use of land, and as such is
especially obnoxious to the-objections
of Nos. 17-19.
23. A tax laid on land by the Sitate
would not increase the cost of holding
or using land. unless the tax were great
er than the present rent of the land, be.
cause whatever is added tU the tax is
subtracted from the rent or purchase
24. The advantage given to an Amer
ican manufacturer by a tariff on his
product, enabling him to sll':: it at a
higher price, isin the nature of a boun
ty paid by an indirect tax (see Nos. 17
.,). OO!ected by the private manufac
turer from -tke .onsu~cr. Granting,
for the sake of argument, that
tective tariff is an effectual eneourage
ment to American industry,and suppos
ing that the abolition of taxation on
capital under the single tax would not
be a sufficient equivalent for any bene
fit which the tariff can be supposed to
confer, it would yet be every way more
desirable to pay a bounty from a direct
tax collected by the government.
25. The imposition of a tax for the
purposeoft restricting a busineas sup
posed,to be harmful to the public is an
ineffective makeshift, as has been strik
imigly isho;irn in the experiment of high
26.-The single tax could be collected
more easily and at less expense to the
government than any other tax from
which itis seriously proposed to raise a
27. It is imptmsible wholly to prevent
the evasion of taxes on personal prop
erty and on incomes. The possibility
of such evasion acts as a.diserimination
against the following classes: (a)
Thots who are too liesest to dodge the
t T bos whose tabl
tIs so small that it Is not worth
their while to take the trouble neces.
sary to secure a legal exemption; (e)
those who are unfamiliar with business
and do not know the methods used for
!a escaping taxation; (d) property in the
1- hands of trustees who have no personal
interest in saving.the tax, I e., property
b belonging to orphans and charitable in.
28. The imposition of taxes, on the
I- improvements of land, while personal
property escapes taxation' partly (as it
a does) or wholly (as it should), is a di
i- rect discouragement to the improve.
t ment of land.
29. A succession tax would be flnuct
e ating in amount, and not perfectly free
L. from evasion. It has no pretense to be
a anything but a makeshift; except in the
I, minds of those who hold that the right
a of property terminates at death.
80. The value of good local govera
e ment appears as an increase of land
value, and is paid for by the tenant to
y the landlord. Therefore the landlord
t should pay the expense of furnishing it
d to the tenant.
r 81. In the same way the existence of
local taxes, other than the tax, .on land,
o decreases the land value of the place,
and their abolition would increase it,
l thus compensating the landlords fot
their loss by this change.
y -2. With regard to the loss which
a would be caused to landowners by the
establishment of the single tax limited::
r (a) It would be no loss, but a gain to
a those whose proportional interests as
owners of taxed personal property and
improvements exceeded their propo'
11 tional interest as landowners, inlauding
y working farmers in general (as shown.
by statistics), and probably a nunmericil
d majority of all landowners.
(b) Of those who did lose, the major:
r ity would have interests in other taxed
y property so nearly Squal to. their inter
t est in land as to make the loss slight.
o (c) The general increase in the pros.
y perity of the. community would camse
a rise in land values, further compen.
y sating land owners. This is especially
L true as to the single tax for local pur
.s poses.. 'See Nos. 80-1. ' ;.
e (d) In all cases the loss to thaeland
f owner would be measured, not by the
, whole increase of his land tax, but
this increase minus the decrease of iis
t other taxes. This amount wouldabe so
r small compared with .the: whole iang"
it of taxation affected by the change tl4
any difficulties arising from it are.pmlf
erly mere matters of detail. Cbtnpeli
sation could becgiven for ittvithotit lahe j
- ing a very great burden on the pub1i.
d treasury; though it is not probabla that
o this would bedone.
(e) In the above consideratlions o
f reference is made .to the destruction, i
the purely speculative elemebt in lau*4
r vaties, about which it is not probable
s; that any 'reliable estimate could q:
m 'made. But it is not supposed that' anj
a one will make the abolition of thiszii
a serious objection. . , .
(f) Landoivners would participa4e 4i
M the increase of general prosperity eqiual
ii ly with others. .
ýf 33. The proposition to compOestI
a landlords for the loss caused by the sin
gle tax would be open to the, following
it practical objections: (a) .It .would be
a the object, of much speculation an
a fraud; (b) since it is not customary t
a give compenrisation to those who lose 1b
s any change in tax laws, the 'unulhaL
h proposition in this case would caPs:
. confusion and possible obstruction to
y the reform; (c) the increased public e*:
I. pense of paying the compensation coutld'
a- not be met by an increase in. the lia
d tax, since this would at, once call for
a- further compensation; it must then be
e met by maintaining some one of our
a other taxes, all of which (see Nos. 19.,
e 21, 27) are practically attended with
.I more or less injustice.
t 34. Government has no right to dcn
a tinue taking from individuals the prod
s uct of their labor, whenit canobtainita
a revenue by taking once for all thiat
Swhich is the product of no Individual'rF
labor, and periodically collecting the
a rental value of this.
e 85. The single tax, when once perma
a nently in operation, would bein eftc:
a- the abolition of 811 taxation, whicb
y would be the most ertain cnre for i
1. the evils of'taxation. : :
e 36. When the difficulties attendln1ta
-first' establishment were past, sanu W
t had becOme the settled policy o'e .th.h
country, the single tax unlimited ~wov'
a be a tax system of absolute theoreticat
perfection, in the pirctical carrying out
6 of which there would be involved no
a evils but such as necessarily arise frona
8 the imperfect human nature of assessOrs
a and colleetors.-Stepheni T'. Byingt..
Justice of the Single Tax,.
SThe tax upon land values Is, lt
fore, the most just and equal of -
taxes It falls only upon those who "
Sceive from society a peculiar and Valk
e nable benefit, and upop them in propo
tion to the benefit they receive. Itt
the taking by the dommunlty, for the
use of the community, of that 'value
which is the creation of the commuanty.
It is the application'of the common;
property to common uses. When all rent
is taken by taxatinon for the needS'ot
the community, then w 1 the equslt=
Tijdgincd by nature be attained. o"l
citizen wi ll hav an adva. .age rver 6n3y
other citizen save ai l .giV, hby his Ln
Sdustry, skilland intelligenct· (9fd-da
will obtaiq what he fairly earm Then,
but not till then, will labor get its full"
Sreward, and capital its na~ ral- woe
Wrxx all taxes placed upon iand val.
nes, irrespective of improvemenfts,'the
Sscheme of taxation would be so simple
saad clear, and public attention would
be so directed to it, that the valuation
Sof taxation could and would be made
with the same certainty that a real
estate agent can determine the pri
a seller can get for a lot-Progre
a Poverty..... ...
T| reason why, in. s ,
t crease of productive pw.~,Wglp.
Sstantly tend to a minimiwa
y givo but a bAiulelUiving, ishat,
n cr ease in ti e n oebraen
to even gpeater