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CHAFING DISH. „ b.cbe!or^"»"ooing maiden, fair »®* f " P r ^Cf»i>-^ould cspturs and [her heart ; dearest wish. rX; ^ur lordly knowledge of the '«fstic chafing dish. L ... hint that you're a gourmet of a ' ,n miste hard to suit, filrnge old Lucnllu. and some ■ chai's to boot, other ' lfB prepare a dainty rarebit with an air •J^^mllllons in it—if you've 'done it to a turn. , ha ,h naught of sweet per.ua.ion .ha can beat the art of dining, t t maiden will surrender to your epicure designing, i'll imitate a motto, caught this gentle fish, ... «n up-to-date eseutcheon ' en bless our chafing dish. Judge- - when you've "Ueav lOMANCE of a hospital nurse. I h I nit «o" I observed tq Miss Wre Ld Brow'n, "you like your new life?" 'ïïm delighted with It," she said. -Ab'" I said, "I rejoice to hear that l0U nave altered your mind. A month |f I recollect right, your mother In 1 me that the duties you had to Urform were injuring your health to degree that you seriously [bought of leaving St. Matthew's hos »it»l However, the lapse of .another Lontb seems to have altered the com plexion of matters." little," murmured Miss Wini fred gently stirring her coffee. I noticed that she smiled as she made his reply. "In my opinion," I said, "nursing Is ,e noblest of all professions legiti ately open to women. I cannot itn . anything grander than the death* J scene of an aged sister—the head hrse of each ward Is caller 'sister,' is »not?— who, drawing her last feeble , a ths, murmurs to those around her: For fifty years I have been tending the k, and keeping an eye on the more [idd'y of the probationers when medi al students were present. I bave done ny work, requiescat In pace!' Ah! what I glorious demise is there!" r you believe me, Miss Winifred ac tlly giggled. to "I am not," I said sternly, I am sorry that I have not arous I your sense of the ridiculous. You not appreciate such pathetic mo nents—you are but 19." "Twenty, Mr. Wormholt, please." "Well," 1 returned, "twenty, then. Sut," I continued, "I was about to ob erve-ns touching Urn, career which, opposition to the wishes of your mily, you have seen fit to adopt—that i hospital has eudldss claims upon the lympathy of all, is worthy of our full t gratitude and esteem. For think— I she not give up the world? Does not relegate herself to an ntmos >bere of suffering— to tale depressing mrroundings of the siekroom? Does he not cut herself off from nil the Measures—such ns they are—tlint a so 1 life offers to those who care to seek hem? Is not nursing a life of self-de iial, of wearing vigils? A trying tax in the patience? A sure test of eour * Yea! it is all these and more. Winifred, I honor you and your nly noble profession!' • "Thank you," said Miss Winifred. It was the after-dinnur period. We rere sitting In a dim corner. Mrs. Vreford-Browu wag chatting, in some 'hat raised tones, to her neighbor, a Wired Anglo-Indian colonel. Pausing In my rhetoric, Mrs. Wre ord-Brown's words came plainly to my She was evidently discussing her laughter. The one by my side—for here were three others.. "The poor child,'' -the good lady was hying, "is worked dreadfully hard, ihe hardly ever gets qüt for even Iralf 1 day. Indeed, this Is the first nlglit he has been off duty for q month," The Anglo-Indian glared fiercely In direction. He found me leaning k In a cheerfully meditative mood. « Winifred put down her cop nnd ok up a volume of political enrtoons hich was lying conveniently at hand. Perhaps she overheard her mother' eh. Perhaps she fancied I did. At rate she began to draw my qtten i to the first cartoon most assidu 'Ugly. Do Do look at this, Mr. Wormholt," «lie "id, laughing—in a palpably forced My-'isn't it funny!" A drawing," I said, "which repre *ut8 a distinguished cabinet minister ' ,lle costume of a lady of the ballet nnot very well help being— »er— funny, ut 1 was speaking of hospitals—of the oaflned and restricted life which the "** JWA «d of the unfeeling outn ! rl ° wblp h the authorities debar the e* from enjoying even the s!m ' Pjonsures—Judging, that Is to say, _ tUe representations which the la 1 , t * >e ® ,e ÏTes make to their own dies!" I concluded, shooting a keen ce at Miss Winifred's by no means Attractive profile. J' 1» comforting to know." I heard mm , ccford-Brown say, "that the « U absolutely trustworthy. » At ?!**'*• MW know, there are—*-" "T- TFormholt, Just look at exclaimed Miss Winifred. lt >e undignified attitude in which Premier is représented," I said, es not amuse me fn the least. I itn m° flections to comic draughts , * P;'' 1 w ent on, "but when a right ai«/*» 6 gentlein «Ai Is dmwn in the , ' I ° " monkey dancing on the top a namd organ, I thing It is time for - sor of cartoons to be appointed." r reasons of my own, however, I Hni'f 0 ,Urn my ,nce »way from Miss re ^ s Inquiring gase. I remem iii', ,1k ' d . rlm * I had brought the vol* cartoons to thé house and ex them to Miss Wreford-Brown heraelf (mine—I mean the one I was conversing with now). "And if-" came from Mrs. Wre ford-Brown's part oî the room, "the ! nurses nllow attentions to be paid to them--" I The conclusion of this utterance was drowned by the general buzz of conver sation. "The other night," I said to Miss M Inlfred, "I went to 'Kosemary.' " "Indeed," she repiied, and turned over the cartoons more rapidly than ever. "A very well written and attractive piece," I continued. "Yes," said Miss Winifred, "I've heard-" "Agatha," said Mrs. Wreford-Brown to her eldest daughter, "won't you sing?" "Oh, do, Agatha," said the second girl (rather wickedly as It struck me), "Give us 'Resignation.' "Ob, I can accompany that!" ex claimed Miss Winifred, starting up, "Thank fc-etn," said Miss Agptha, cold ly ' ' - ■ '■tyut J ptefer to accompany myself." So Miss Winifred was obliged to re sume her seat by my side, nnd Miss Agatha proceeded'to'obllge US With.the dipge in question. When the polite ap plause Which., grçdled. (p very ljm>l)çr expression) its conclusion had ceased, I said to Miss Winifred: "1 sat in the dress circle." Alls» Winifred buried her eyes with the cartoons. "In the dress circle," I went on, "at the back "WfijO Is îhjs, meant to be— ■»*' excellent view not but also of tSe other occupants—(I dwelt on the words)— of the seats In that pnrt of the house." 1 waited for her remark, but there came only a rustle of leaves. "Yes," I said, "the profession of nurs ing is an honorable profession—a pro fession *f sq|f-dtnlnl—n calling which debars its followers from enjoying many pleasures of life. We enjoyed •Rosemary' very much." "But," said Miss Winifred, looking up from the cartoons, went by yourself." "Who Is tlUa, menp "Whcfe f htfil-an'c o nly'of ' t hd!8f a g*. "bn I "I thought you "Who told you 1 did?" I asked, sus plclously. ! Nice, geutlemnnly fellows, many Of them, but, of course-" came from Mrs. Wreford-Brown. 1 did not bear the rest of the sentence. "Oh. I—I always thought you went alone," was Miss Winifred's weak re Joinder. "I see. Well, you are right. I waa alone. But 'we' refers to myself and all tho other people In the dress circle. 1 like to speak of my fellow beings In n broad, kindly, unselfish sense like that! And I felt—I felt grieved!" "What about?" asked Miss Winifred. "Grieved," I said, "to think that you. Miss Winifred, only get one night off in a month. I felt that It was selfish oi me to enjoy 'Rosemary' when you Were watching by the sick and dy ing-" "—Perfectly straightforward, truth ful girl," came from Mrs. Wreford Brown, "in whom I have the utmo6t confidence. Borne girls placed in her position would-" "Ts this meant to be the chancellor of the exchequer?" asked Miss Winifred, quickly. "The man." I said, "selling the dread ful commodity known ns—excuse mo ful commodity known ns—excuse mo for mentioning it—dried hnddoek, Is the first lord of the treasury, but the eat which is rubbing itself against his legs Is] as you suppose, that great statesman, the-" "—Think for a moment that my dear child allowed even a house surgeon to pay lier -'' was wafted from the aia ternal lips over to our corner. "—Chancellor of the exchequer!" 1 concluded with disgust. "I saw a man there that I knew," I whispered to Miss Winifred. She nod ded and, I think, breathed more freely. "I have reason to believe," I whis pered, still more confidentially, "that he Is a member of the medical profes sion. I think he is at some-" Crash, went the bass notes. Whlsh! ; went the leaves of the cartoon book. 1 "-some hospital!" "Mamma," cried Miss Winifred, Jumping up (I do not like to say bound ing up), "it's time for me to be—. j "Sh-h-h!" came from the eldest Miss Wreford-Brown, in a vicious hiss. Miss Winifred sat down again—re lnctantly. Once more she buried her self In the cartoons. "I have heard," I continued, "that he Is on the Indoor staff-" "Is this Morley?" demanded Miss Winifred, quite loudly. "Winifred." came from the eldest Miss Wreford-Brown, In an angry snap. "That," I whispered, "Is Mr. Morley. The master who Is flogging him is the , minister of agriculture." 4 | The music went on. f beat time for , ia minute with my hand, and then, bending close to Miss Winifred's ear j again, observed: "He was with two members of the j honorable profession of which I have ; been speakiag. The member sitting by I him—the less repulsive-looking of the two. that Is-—" The pianist was playing tbs last , chords. Miss Winifred shut the car- j toon book with a bang. - had," I concluded, speaking very hurriedly, "brown eyes, darkish hair, rather dimpled chin-" Crash!!! and the musical operation had been brought to a gratifying ter mination. "And so. colonel, you see," came In Mrs. Wreford-Brown's voice, dear as a bell, through the silence which fol lowed the finishing of the music. "1 have every confidence In my aear child. Thank you, Miranda. Time for yon to go, Winifred? You seem to have been having a very entertaining time, you and Mr. Wormholt, with that book of cartoons." "Extremely entertaining." I said. But of course I spoke only for myself.— Westminster Gazette. \\\ VOWv H /fa//'/'' s K fnic CLCCTRIC MATCH ££30 ! ; ; I ! 1 pBOMÏsèf 1 IWVZWTI8W. T HE electric mntch Is the next Im portant Invention promised. Be fore very long the phosphorus tipped wooden splints now In use will he replaced by a handy little tool that may be carried in the pocket or hung up conveniently for striking a light when wanted. Tile [portable electric lighter Is hqund : -pt 11 d rUTTIXO ON PHOSPHORUS HKADS. to come. Meanwhile, Inventors, as shown liy the records of the pateut.of; Oce. oxeqrijie tuuch • lngetfulty lpf |i*> Ing to ImptOve bn the ccAmnon, evc« 7 ' day match. Not least Interesting Is a spherical match—a little ball of wood pulp covered with phosphorus coinpo sltion. Ip using it n holder Js required. innsthuch as'there is no stick, the lg nited wood pulp burning slowly until 1 wholly consumed. Thus there Is no residue of stick and tar to be disposed of. and matches of this kind have the further advantage that they are cheap and can be packed in very small com pass-like pills. A perfumed match has j ; 1 j lieqn,: patented* the stick bp tag dipped In oil of cassia. Of course, theré are ever so many, odd sort» of matches actu ally in use to-day—as, for example, the wax matches, which are employed in Europe to an extent vastly , greater than In this country. Most of the wax matches are manufactured In Italy and Great Britain. They are made by drawing strands of fine cbtton thread, twenty or thirty at a time, through melted Stearine. This hardens quick ly. and the tapers are rounded by pull lug them through perforated Iron plates. It tlieu remains only to cut them into proper lrnghts and dip them into an igniting composition. 1 1 ■ 1 It Is an odd fact that even at the pres ent day patents are sought for pipe lighting contrivances In wliiçh] fiitij gàd steel are utilized with mecltanlCajl tatqd . ideations. It Is probable that citizens of the I'nited States use more matches than any other peoplp (tt the world. Every man, womah'auU, fhild In tills country, taking the average, consumes eight matches every day in the year. Fine agil aspen are the woods which fumlslviiaslt Saf Sthe material for match packing nv MAPniNxnr. sticks.- The logs are cut Into blocks fifteen Inches long, representing the length of seven matches. Freed from bark, tjie block is put into q.laths wltpj a cuttkig pnrt, by width, a «outlnurtm strip of veneer Is turned off, Just tho thickness of a match. Thus the whole block is converted Into a sheet fifteen Inches wide, which Is cut. Incidentally to the same process. Into seven rib bons. the width of each being Just the lenkth of a match The ribbons are fed. 100 at a time, into a machine which chops them into sticks. Then the sticks are dried in heated drums, | , j j ; I , j TRIMMING TDK ENDS. sifted to get rid of splinters, bundle» by machinery and dipped in the com» bustible mixture. From the felled tree to the finished match, everything is done by machinery. Women fill the match box at the rate of thirty-six gross In ten hours. Truly R would seem sot of the ques tton to get along without matches; pet j. they were unknbWh' sixty-five 1 y*g' »'1 '™ ago. There must'have been a time!* 1 witch enrir m.n knew net how tn make ! * When early man knew.nqtbow .to m*k® j fire, and same very, primitive tribe* à to-day bave not that knowledge» . Bar ages quite generally believe that fire actually dwells In wood Und stone, bo» jse from those substances It can be lained by friction 'or ''bpr striking, me, savages arc 'able to mttke a ttre with two sticks in q fractlo. of a inln ute, whereas the Aiaos of Japan re- j quire two hours to accomplish-the samo feet] One of. the queereet way« of nftiklng five I« practice»! by the Mom lays, who ent a V'strnped slit In bra rich of the oil ttreand saw fit It I with a'knjfç-edged stick of'iron W6<it1. In tjrree minutes the sawdust tljuk p'ro (hreed becomes Incandescent, and ,tlp-' der is applied. The Ignited Under ,1s swapped In dry grass and whirled alound the bead of »the operator until Ifld IW a flame; •• ' ' » > Thé first practical fricTlim matches were made In 1827 by sin English apoth ecary named Walker, whp oOqted splin ters of cardboard wlt)i sulphur and tlp ped them with a mixture of sulphur of antimony,, chlorate of potash and firm. The modern luclfer match com Üpiéa In one Instrument arrangements for creating a shark, catching It on tinder and starting a blase—steps re quiring separate operations In primi tive contrivances. It was In 1830 that the first United States patent for fric tion matches was Issued. > , . GLADSTONE RIDES A BIKE. England's Grand Old Man Takes to Cyclinnr at the Age of 88. Gladstone has taken to the bicycle! Gladstone, England'«, "Grand Old .Man," the greatest statesman of the '■cintury, the prime minister of all prime , ministers, a hardy giant at 88, may t„j t ; » 1 f ! : I : : ; 1 ., JNj w< ; ■ ' ( . uofiv be seen on any fine day,-gliding 1 over the smooth roads about Hu war den Cttstle on q swift-flying wheel of : the latest approved pattern. , ' Where is there to 1 be found another man of bis age who would not totter in' pqlsled dread at tbe mere thought of ] auch youthful athletic revelry. Indeed there are few meu at half his ngc who would not declare .qgsinpt thq sport as ne that they had far outgrown In ears, so that apart front the Uu-t that a man of Gladstone's world wide Mina has taken to cycling, it Is, really .a mor-, velous performance for one bo old. The ' QUADSTONE OS BU B1CTC1.K. greai diplomat hits , fallen under the j magic spell of tbe bicycle and Is now - - - - no enthusiastic supporter of the fad. more tlie long walk np hill and Own dale, for which be is Celebrated, j No more tbe vigorous use-of the keen-1 edged ax on some fallen tree trunk. 1 The bicycle bas replaced both us n means of Outdoor exercise. And in tlie latter game he may be looked to excel, for at either of the former tasks he was par excellent. His Face the Sole Guide. Policeman Thomas F. Ilarrlgan )t| one of the most conspicuous of tbe jppléndld force of blue coals that protect ÿedestriam and straighten out tbe traffic tangles on Broadway, New York. Borne time ago I noticed s pass er-by take s snap shot at him with bis camera. A few days ago there arrived at the New York postofflee a letter with only a photograph for on address. The officials were puzzled, but tbe let ter was banded around among the car riers. One of them recognised tbe pic ture. "That's big Tom Harrigan at Broad way and 28th street," be said. And so tbe letter was delivered. Tbe contents proved to be a mounted photo graph of the policeman with the words, "Compliments of B. H. Rous, Chamber lno, Donna Ana County, N. M„ on tbe back. Not knowing the policeman's name Mr. Rous used this novel way In for warding the photograph, and, thanks to the letter carrier's powers of obser vation, It was safely and promptly de livered. Girl—His spine U hurt. Another Girl —Then I supposa his football days ore over. Girl—Oh, no. He can still play half-back, or quarter-back, anyway.— Detroit Journal. ^ YOUNG ELECTRICIAN. fl tw v t A. Hobart. Jr.. 1. the Boll* ] banner of tbe White Uoum. Garret A. Hobart, the 12-yesr-old ton | of the new Vice President, has been appointed official bellhangcr of the White House by President McKinley. Young Hobart la an adept in electricity, and he was the first applicant for office after the Inauguration. He bad an eye to business and made a business proposition to the President After looking into the matter with great care the President let the coutract to young Hobart, and so the young eloctrlciau and his pastuer, Ned Van Ripper, were given charge of the White House bell j. hanging. Hobart Jr. began his career '™ ■ PfUCtlcal electriclnn by "«iHiig 1 , 1 " fathers house so tliorougiily that, * hell would ring wheuever anyone as would ring whenever anyone, b n ? coughed. The servant girl could light the kitchen fire by touching à button on her bedhead, and the bull dog was released wheuever a window wan opened after dark. Hts business caneet began when the neighbors of the Hot Huts hired the boy .to protect and equip their bouses In a similar fashion. j work of Garret A. Hobart Jr. A V^. 'Y* 8 08 *cleutltie as that of the fi® 8 * êtectrldane, nnd as it wns fear Cul)y and wonderfully cheap as com a I pared with that of the professionals, ' ■»' Tir» -JaamÛM =S " OAX1RT A. HO BAHT, 4H. - r - -v „ , - . - » want In the White House If Ho- ' , bHr * & Oo. are allowed full sway, the boy Bran throve nt Psteraon. It le , expected that President McKinley and | hU family will have all the bell-rlnglng j KAIKKK S NBW UANKiriEU. GERMANY'S DUDE RAISER. •' i ' ' ' ——: Row He Trains HI# Mu*tactic to Staad I Up Straight. Such a thing as an army Officer with out a mustache la hardly known In the German empire, the erratic ruler of which gives h 1 s subjects an exam pie of bow to train the hirsute adorn ment in question, Ills Majesty pos semes the newest and most success* ful mustache truln er (n Germany. It Is an arrangement divided In the cen ter by a buckle. On each side of tho buckle Is a strip of ribbon, lined with pink ' netting, permitting ventilation. At the end of euch ribbon Is a tiny coffib, Ills Majesty's valet pinces tbe buckle In tbe center of bis Majesty's mustache and cotubs tlie ends of tho j Imperial mustache towqrd his Majes- ( ty's cars. The end of the ribbons can j then tee fastened by pieces of elastic ' tq the ertrs. The little combs lie down ; and cause no nnuoyance. It can be worn nt nlglit, nnd If the whiskers are long enough the result Is sure to be most wnrllke and Impressive. The Em poror has a very line mustache. The ends are long and sharp, nnd point to- ] wiird the ears as straight and stiffly a« If they were made of steel. », j ---——--— ROWS OF TROPHIES, _ . 1 „ .. H * w Alaskan «-klmo# Ornament I Alaskan Eskimos Their Poor tints. The Eskimos of Alaska live In rude iconatructed huts, and frequently the outside of the shelter Is decorated In a j fashion that vividly recalls a boneyard to the mind of the civilized traveler. I Rows of grinning, skulls of various : ' ; , BUT or ALASKAN ESKIMOS. kinds of animals are ranged along , and the tbe most sheltered side of tbe hut, owner takes great pride In their num ber, looking at them much as sn enthu siastic sportsman regards thé antlers of tbe bucks be bss brought down. Of Coarse. Moses Junior—Fader, a sbentlemsn In de shop wants to know If dst alb wool nonsbrtnksble shirt will shrink? Moses Senior—Does Id fld him? Moses Junior—No; Id Is too big. ' 1 Moses Senior—Yah; Id vlU shrink!— Tld-Btts. One Del I berat Iso. Emms—And, Charlie, dear, yon have really shot yourself If 1 had refused you? Charlie—Indeed I would! 1 had al- ' I , would t ready sent to.four houses fqt price lists * of revolvers.— Fliegende Blatter. j . . , - ,! .- r ~.— . A , girl may lpok pretty when she cries, but n boy never did,. <u>4 ®«ver . Will. gaa'l' j lU¥ . , Th j B _ CALLS. . . -wiiuldUfai to tbs Unrodesnrad. I HE soul fed upon husks, «wer goto / fat Reason always walks, 1 but ISw»--"«' run*'. The best men » are, mother-made men. ,n . • A poor free lunch costa more The true life Is the life we live wltWn ourselves. ...... The casse et' our not being esteemed ourselves. , ....... . . God. pity the man vfr^o mprden.bla «er» Innocence. • . j If there Is nothing IÜ "a mail, bis * portunlty" never comes» i, r. It Is • blessing to have opinions; tt le a cum to be opinionated, , i , The one maq who falls In character, has made the greatest failure. " J "' All sinful life Is mitral Insanity; 'and*'"'"'' a guilty Set is criminal lunacy. ' >u * 1 ' The largest acreen for g oaloen, la to ull4 a summer resort qU qroqnd it Jojr Is the, companion of Love, and they] may always be found together. The matt whdeb opinion la hardest to get )s the man whose opinion Is meet wor^b getting. , , : ( Tlie «oddest Ignorance In this world Is not to know the pleasure that comet from oelf-escrtfice. Tlie preacher Who has ttt go to Eu rope to get Ideas, baa not enterod tbs Ihflqite field oftruth. , . ,, t Opinions are g good thing to have tq life,] but an extra pair of'suspenders to oftep of morn practk-al value. Oi onl; p> differ from yon Ip oplnlop. It] la s merciful provision o^provl den^o that in hours of darkest sorrow'' we *re not conacions of wbat we suffer, Some people's virtues are Hke the boyje fishr-when the head of, vanity and, the tall of selfishness ure cut off, Ï IRng n man hard namea, to often' another wny,of snylOff Tpst hf there 1« nothing heft'to eat The nuthemntlca of marriage—man liecpmes an Integer hutesdjof a Iraqi, OLp TIME COURTESY. t ths Sort Fonad la Qians Whan 8ha Was r Ysnng sad Unfettered. , T|tere wasn't dtty particular exettft », egt ovsr the hanging of tbc turns polkted out and qrrystfd at pig, as the chap who stole a pack mule Colonel White'* ettmp; over tttt RlVer. One of White's men; Who was ovek after bacon, happened to,Mfgk, the> stranger and he went to Jim Red fern, president of tbe vlgflAttCè com mlnee, and tiald: . . "fini, Is It a good day for a banging?" ' "Wall, tolerably fa'r," replied Jim. 1 "The kuss who stole obr pnCk ttteWT Is down In thef tin front saloon.'' n u "I see. And you want him (tung?? ., "I don't Leer no great shakes about It myself, but I reckon tbe kurnet wofuld be irteascd." I ■ • » t "I'm willing to obleege Colonel., White, as he's a good friend of mine; , but do you think the critter down thaf u ' has any objeebahuns to bsln.'. bung?" 'tile don't look lpe a man wbo'd kick about It. 'Pears môrè' HKé h critter who'll l>e glad to be off tbe alrth." ,'IWall. we'll take cbaaces on him.?, aald Jim, and he want to bta shanty and, . - - - s '--' " T io?T f el got rope and asked eight or ten When the the boys to go along. When the crowd reached tbe tin front saloon, the steam ger was Just coming out. "Bay, we waut you," remarked Bed* fern. "What fur?" "Gain' to hang you." • 'Couse why?" •Fur stealib' Kurnet White's pack mewl." "Well, fire sway,? jle wns escorted to n tree whereon a ddasen more men had been daly hah god and lifted upon att empty whisky bote« re | the noose was soon placed qv«r his >x\' an t to say nnythlngr asked Jim, lg ft U was ready. ' - i "Nothin' 'tall." "Then let 'er go." An hour later, White's man, who had started for home, returned to bnnt up Mr. Red fern, and say: "Lookta-yere, Jim, that feller didn't. steal our mewl." "No?" i • "No. They got tbe feller and the 'j ntcwl over at Clay City, nnd hung him this tnornln'. I thought this was the feller, but I must bev bln mistook." "I see. Wall, he's bln bung and l*ur- » led, and we can't help him any now. We'll Jest let the next one off, to even up things. My compliments to the kurnel, and tell hlm I shall always ready to obleege blm."—Pendleton East Oregonian. ' there? Easily Baited After All. A stage manager well known In the small towns for bis ambitious demands In regard to scenery and stage effects, yet who was equally satisfied with the most meager provision, skid one morn ing to tbe lessee of a wooden booth: "In the first set I shall require a regi ment of soldiers on the right, n posse of policemen on the left'and a crowd of peasants on the bridges in the center. I Now. how many suiters have you?" , "Two. sir." To which he composedly t replied: "That will do beautifully." . t. A polosies. . Who's making all that racket out _____ I want some chance to rekd-o * and think." ... j- "It's me as Is slngln'," snapped thu 1 . autocrat of the kitchen; v aud what , of , t ,„ . "Ob, I beg your pardon. I thougfff was my wife."—Detroit Free Press.