„ b.cbe!or^"»"ooing maiden, fair
f " P r ^Cf»i>-^ould cspturs and
rX; ^ur lordly knowledge of the
'«fstic chafing dish.
L ... hint that you're a gourmet of a
' ,n miste hard to suit,
filrnge old Lucnllu. and some
■ chai's to boot,
lfB prepare a
rarebit with an air
•J^^mllllons in it—if you've
'done it to a turn.
, ha ,h naught of sweet per.ua.ion
.ha can beat the art of dining,
t t maiden will surrender to your
i'll imitate a motto,
caught this gentle fish,
... «n up-to-date eseutcheon
' en bless our chafing dish.
lOMANCE of a
I h I nit «o" I observed tq Miss Wre
Ld Brow'n, "you like your new life?"
'ïïm delighted with It," she said.
-Ab'" I said, "I rejoice to hear that
l0U nave altered your mind. A month
|f I recollect right, your mother In
1 me that the duties you had to
Urform were injuring your health to
degree that you seriously
[bought of leaving St. Matthew's hos
»it»l However, the lapse of .another
Lontb seems to have altered the com
plexion of matters."
little," murmured Miss Wini
fred gently stirring her coffee.
I noticed that she smiled as she made
"In my opinion," I said, "nursing Is
,e noblest of all professions legiti
ately open to women. I cannot itn
. anything grander than the death*
J scene of an aged sister—the head
hrse of each ward Is caller 'sister,' is
»not?— who, drawing her last feeble
, a ths, murmurs to those around her:
For fifty years I have been tending the
k, and keeping an eye on the more
[idd'y of the probationers when medi
al students were present. I bave done
ny work, requiescat In pace!' Ah! what
I glorious demise is there!"
r you believe me, Miss Winifred ac
"I am not," I said sternly,
I am sorry that I have not arous
I your sense of the ridiculous. You
not appreciate such pathetic mo
nents—you are but 19."
"Twenty, Mr. Wormholt, please."
"Well," 1 returned, "twenty, then.
Sut," I continued, "I was about to ob
erve-ns touching Urn, career which,
opposition to the wishes of your
mily, you have seen fit to adopt—that
i hospital has eudldss claims upon the
lympathy of all, is worthy of our full
t gratitude and esteem. For think—
I she not give up the world? Does
not relegate herself to an ntmos
>bere of suffering— to tale depressing
mrroundings of the siekroom? Does
he not cut herself off from nil the
Measures—such ns they are—tlint a so
1 life offers to those who care to seek
hem? Is not nursing a life of self-de
iial, of wearing vigils? A trying tax
in the patience? A sure test of eour
* Yea! it is all these and more.
Winifred, I honor you and your
nly noble profession!' •
"Thank you," said Miss Winifred.
It was the after-dinnur period. We
rere sitting In a dim corner. Mrs.
Vreford-Browu wag chatting, in some
'hat raised tones, to her neighbor, a
Wired Anglo-Indian colonel.
Pausing In my rhetoric, Mrs. Wre
ord-Brown's words came plainly to my
She was evidently discussing her
laughter. The one by my side—for
here were three others..
"The poor child,'' -the good lady was
hying, "is worked dreadfully hard,
ihe hardly ever gets qüt for even Iralf
1 day. Indeed, this Is the first nlglit
he has been off duty for q month,"
The Anglo-Indian glared fiercely In
direction. He found me leaning
k In a cheerfully meditative mood.
« Winifred put down her cop nnd
ok up a volume of political enrtoons
hich was lying conveniently at hand.
Perhaps she overheard her mother'
eh. Perhaps she fancied I did. At
rate she began to draw my qtten
i to the first cartoon most assidu
Do look at this, Mr. Wormholt," «lie
"id, laughing—in a palpably forced
My-'isn't it funny!"
A drawing," I said, "which repre
*ut8 a distinguished cabinet minister
' ,lle costume of a lady of the ballet
nnot very well help being— »er— funny,
ut 1 was speaking of hospitals—of the
oaflned and restricted life which the
"** JWA «d of the unfeeling outn
! rl ° wblp h the authorities debar the
e* from enjoying even the s!m
' Pjonsures—Judging, that Is to say,
_ tUe representations which the la
1 , t * >e ® ,e ÏTes make to their own
dies!" I concluded, shooting a keen
ce at Miss Winifred's by no means
J' 1» comforting to know." I heard
mm , ccford-Brown say, "that the
« U absolutely trustworthy. » At
?!**'*• MW know, there are—*-"
"T- TFormholt, Just look at
exclaimed Miss Winifred.
lt >e undignified attitude in which
Premier is représented," I said,
es not amuse me fn the least. I
itn m° flections to comic draughts
, * P;'' 1 w ent on, "but when a right
ai«/*» 6 gentlein «Ai Is dmwn in the
, ' I ° " monkey dancing on the top
a namd organ, I thing It is time for
- sor of cartoons to be appointed."
r reasons of my own, however, I
Hni'f 0 ,Urn my ,nce »way from Miss
re ^ s Inquiring gase. I remem
iii', ,1k ' d . rlm * I had brought the vol*
cartoons to thé house and ex
them to Miss Wreford-Brown
heraelf (mine—I mean the one I was
conversing with now).
"And if-" came from Mrs. Wre
ford-Brown's part oî the room, "the !
nurses nllow attentions to be paid to
The conclusion of this utterance was
drowned by the general buzz of conver
"The other night," I said to Miss
M Inlfred, "I went to 'Kosemary.' "
"Indeed," she repiied, and turned
over the cartoons more rapidly than
"A very well written and attractive
piece," I continued.
"Yes," said Miss Winifred, "I've
"Agatha," said Mrs. Wreford-Brown
to her eldest daughter, "won't you
"Oh, do, Agatha," said the second
girl (rather wickedly as It struck me),
"Give us 'Resignation.'
"Ob, I can accompany that!" ex
claimed Miss Winifred, starting up,
"Thank fc-etn," said Miss Agptha, cold
ly ' ' - ■
'■tyut J ptefer to accompany myself."
So Miss Winifred was obliged to re
sume her seat by my side, nnd Miss
Agatha proceeded'to'obllge US With.the
dipge in question. When the polite ap
plause Which., grçdled. (p very ljm>l)çr
expression) its conclusion had ceased, I
said to Miss Winifred:
"1 sat in the dress circle."
Alls» Winifred buried her eyes with
"In the dress circle," I went on, "at
"WfijO Is îhjs, meant to be— ■»*'
excellent view not
but also of tSe other
occupants—(I dwelt on the words)—
of the seats In that pnrt of the house."
1 waited for her remark, but there
came only a rustle of leaves.
"Yes," I said, "the profession of nurs
ing is an honorable profession—a pro
fession *f sq|f-dtnlnl—n calling which
debars its followers from enjoying
many pleasures of life. We enjoyed
•Rosemary' very much."
"But," said Miss Winifred, looking
up from the cartoons,
went by yourself."
"Who Is tlUa, menp
"Whcfe f htfil-an'c
o nly'of ' t hd!8f a g*. "bn I
"I thought you
"Who told you 1 did?" I asked, sus
Nice, geutlemnnly fellows, many
Of them, but, of course-" came from
Mrs. Wreford-Brown. 1 did not bear
the rest of the sentence.
"Oh. I—I always thought you went
alone," was Miss Winifred's weak re
"I see. Well, you are right. I waa
alone. But 'we' refers to myself and
all tho other people In the dress circle.
1 like to speak of my fellow beings In
n broad, kindly, unselfish sense like
that! And I felt—I felt grieved!"
"What about?" asked Miss Winifred.
"Grieved," I said, "to think that you.
Miss Winifred, only get one night off
in a month. I felt that It was selfish
oi me to enjoy 'Rosemary' when you
Were watching by the sick and dy
"—Perfectly straightforward, truth
ful girl," came from Mrs. Wreford
Brown, "in whom I have the utmo6t
confidence. Borne girls placed in her
"Ts this meant to be the chancellor of
the exchequer?" asked Miss Winifred,
"The man." I said, "selling the dread
ful commodity known ns—excuse mo
ful commodity known ns—excuse mo
for mentioning it—dried hnddoek, Is
the first lord of the treasury, but the
eat which is rubbing itself against his
legs Is] as you suppose, that great
"—Think for a moment that my dear
child allowed even a house surgeon to
pay lier -'' was wafted from the aia
ternal lips over to our corner.
"—Chancellor of the exchequer!" 1
concluded with disgust.
"I saw a man there that I knew," I
whispered to Miss Winifred. She nod
ded and, I think, breathed more freely.
"I have reason to believe," I whis
pered, still more confidentially, "that
he Is a member of the medical profes
sion. I think he is at some-"
Crash, went the bass notes. Whlsh! ;
went the leaves of the cartoon book. 1
"Mamma," cried Miss Winifred,
Jumping up (I do not like to say bound
ing up), "it's time for me to be—. j
"Sh-h-h!" came from the eldest Miss
Wreford-Brown, in a vicious hiss.
Miss Winifred sat down again—re
lnctantly. Once more she buried her
self In the cartoons.
"I have heard," I continued, "that he
Is on the Indoor staff-"
"Is this Morley?" demanded Miss
Winifred, quite loudly.
"Winifred." came from the eldest
Miss Wreford-Brown, In an angry
"That," I whispered, "Is Mr. Morley.
The master who Is flogging him is the ,
minister of agriculture." 4 |
The music went on. f beat time for ,
ia minute with my hand, and then,
bending close to Miss Winifred's ear j
"He was with two members of the j
honorable profession of which I have ;
been speakiag. The member sitting by I
him—the less repulsive-looking of the
two. that Is-—"
The pianist was playing tbs last ,
chords. Miss Winifred shut the car- j
toon book with a bang.
- had," I concluded, speaking
very hurriedly, "brown eyes, darkish
hair, rather dimpled chin-"
Crash!!! and the musical operation
had been brought to a gratifying ter
"And so. colonel, you see," came In
Mrs. Wreford-Brown's voice, dear as
a bell, through the silence which fol
lowed the finishing of the music. "1
have every confidence In my aear
child. Thank you, Miranda. Time for
yon to go, Winifred? You seem to have
been having a very entertaining time,
you and Mr. Wormholt, with that book
"Extremely entertaining." I said. But
of course I spoke only for myself.—
\\\ VOWv H /fa//'/'' s K
1 pBOMÏsèf 1
HE electric mntch Is the next Im
portant Invention promised. Be
fore very long the phosphorus
tipped wooden splints now In use will
he replaced by a handy little tool that
may be carried in the pocket or hung
up conveniently for striking a light
Tile [portable electric lighter Is hqund
: -pt 11
rUTTIXO ON PHOSPHORUS HKADS.
to come. Meanwhile, Inventors, as
shown liy the records of the pateut.of;
Oce. oxeqrijie tuuch • lngetfulty lpf |i*>
Ing to ImptOve bn the ccAmnon, evc« 7 '
day match. Not least Interesting Is a
spherical match—a little ball of wood
pulp covered with phosphorus coinpo
sltion. Ip using it n holder Js required.
innsthuch as'there is no stick, the lg
nited wood pulp burning slowly until
1 wholly consumed. Thus there Is no
residue of stick and tar to be disposed
of. and matches of this kind have the
further advantage that they are cheap
and can be packed in very small com
pass-like pills. A perfumed match has
lieqn,: patented* the stick bp tag dipped
In oil of cassia. Of course, theré are
ever so many, odd sort» of matches actu
ally in use to-day—as, for example, the
wax matches, which are employed in
Europe to an extent vastly , greater
than In this country. Most of the wax
matches are manufactured In Italy and
Great Britain. They are made by
drawing strands of fine cbtton thread,
twenty or thirty at a time, through
melted Stearine. This hardens quick
ly. and the tapers are rounded by pull
lug them through perforated Iron
plates. It tlieu remains only to cut
them into proper lrnghts and dip them
into an igniting composition. 1 1 ■ 1
It Is an odd fact that even at the pres
ent day patents are sought for pipe
lighting contrivances In wliiçh] fiitij gàd
steel are utilized with mecltanlCajl tatqd .
ideations. It Is probable that citizens
of the I'nited States use more matches
than any other peoplp (tt the world.
Every man, womah'auU, fhild In tills
country, taking the average, consumes
eight matches every day in the year.
Fine agil aspen are the woods which
fumlslviiaslt Saf Sthe material for match
packing nv MAPniNxnr.
sticks.- The logs are cut Into blocks
fifteen Inches long, representing the
length of seven matches. Freed from
bark, tjie block is put into q.laths wltpj
a cuttkig pnrt, by width, a «outlnurtm
strip of veneer Is turned off, Just tho
thickness of a match. Thus the whole
block is converted Into a sheet fifteen
Inches wide, which Is cut. Incidentally
to the same process. Into seven rib
bons. the width of each being Just the
lenkth of a match The ribbons are
fed. 100 at a time, into a machine
which chops them into sticks. Then
the sticks are dried in heated drums,
TRIMMING TDK ENDS.
sifted to get rid of splinters, bundle»
by machinery and dipped in the com»
bustible mixture. From the felled tree
to the finished match, everything is
done by machinery. Women fill the
match box at the rate of thirty-six gross
In ten hours.
Truly R would seem sot of the ques
tton to get along without matches; pet j.
they were unknbWh' sixty-five 1 y*g' »'1 '™
ago. There must'have been a time!* 1
witch enrir m.n knew net how tn make ! *
When early man knew.nqtbow .to m*k® j
fire, and same very, primitive tribe*
to-day bave not that knowledge» . Bar
ages quite generally believe that fire
actually dwells In wood Und stone, bo»
jse from those substances It can be
lained by friction 'or ''bpr striking,
me, savages arc 'able to mttke a ttre
with two sticks in q fractlo. of a inln
ute, whereas the Aiaos of Japan re- j
quire two hours to accomplish-the samo
feet] One of. the queereet way« of
nftiklng five I« practice»! by the Mom
lays, who ent a V'strnped slit In
bra rich of the oil ttreand saw fit It I
with a'knjfç-edged stick of'iron W6<it1.
In tjrree minutes the sawdust tljuk p'ro
(hreed becomes Incandescent, and ,tlp-'
der is applied. The Ignited Under ,1s
swapped In dry grass and whirled
alound the bead of »the operator until
Ifld IW a flame; •• ' ' » >
Thé first practical fricTlim matches
were made In 1827 by sin English apoth
ecary named Walker, whp oOqted splin
ters of cardboard wlt)i sulphur and tlp
ped them with a mixture of sulphur
of antimony,, chlorate of potash and
firm. The modern luclfer match com
Üpiéa In one Instrument arrangements
for creating a shark, catching It on
tinder and starting a blase—steps re
quiring separate operations In primi
tive contrivances. It was In 1830 that
the first United States patent for fric
tion matches was Issued. > ,
GLADSTONE RIDES A BIKE.
England's Grand Old Man Takes to
Cyclinnr at the Age of 88.
Gladstone has taken to the bicycle!
Gladstone, England'«, "Grand Old
.Man," the greatest statesman of the
'■cintury, the prime minister of all prime ,
ministers, a hardy giant at 88, may
uofiv be seen on any fine day,-gliding 1
over the smooth roads about Hu war
den Cttstle on q swift-flying wheel of :
the latest approved pattern. ,
' Where is there to 1 be found another
man of bis age who would not totter in'
pqlsled dread at tbe mere thought of ]
auch youthful athletic revelry. Indeed
there are few meu at half his ngc who
would not declare .qgsinpt thq sport as
ne that they had far outgrown In
ears, so that apart front the Uu-t that
a man of Gladstone's world wide Mina
has taken to cycling, it Is, really .a mor-,
velous performance for one bo old. The '
QUADSTONE OS BU B1CTC1.K.
greai diplomat hits , fallen under the j
magic spell of tbe bicycle and Is now
- - - -
no enthusiastic supporter of the fad.
more tlie long walk np hill and
Own dale, for which be is Celebrated, j
No more tbe vigorous use-of the keen-1
edged ax on some fallen tree trunk. 1
The bicycle bas replaced both us n
means of Outdoor exercise. And in tlie
latter game he may be looked to excel,
for at either of the former tasks he
was par excellent.
His Face the Sole Guide.
Policeman Thomas F. Ilarrlgan )t|
one of the most conspicuous of tbe
jppléndld force of blue coals that protect
ÿedestriam and straighten out tbe
traffic tangles on Broadway, New
York. Borne time ago I noticed s pass
er-by take s snap shot at him with bis
camera. A few days ago there arrived
at the New York postofflee a letter
with only a photograph for on address.
The officials were puzzled, but tbe let
ter was banded around among the car
riers. One of them recognised tbe pic
"That's big Tom Harrigan at Broad
way and 28th street," be said.
And so tbe letter was delivered. Tbe
contents proved to be a mounted photo
graph of the policeman with the words,
"Compliments of B. H. Rous, Chamber
lno, Donna Ana County, N. M„ on tbe
Not knowing the policeman's name
Mr. Rous used this novel way In for
warding the photograph, and, thanks
to the letter carrier's powers of obser
vation, It was safely and promptly de
Girl—His spine U hurt. Another Girl
—Then I supposa his football days ore
over. Girl—Oh, no. He can still play
half-back, or quarter-back, anyway.—
Detroit Journal. ^
fl tw v t A. Hobart. Jr.. 1. the Boll* ]
banner of tbe White Uoum.
Garret A. Hobart, the 12-yesr-old ton |
of the new Vice President, has been
appointed official bellhangcr of the
White House by President McKinley.
Young Hobart la an adept in electricity,
and he was the first applicant for office
after the Inauguration. He bad an
eye to business and made a business
proposition to the President After
looking into the matter with great care
the President let the coutract to young
Hobart, and so the young eloctrlciau
and his pastuer, Ned Van Ripper, were
given charge of the White House bell
j. hanging. Hobart Jr. began his career
'™ ■ PfUCtlcal electriclnn by "«iHiig 1 ,
1 " fathers house so tliorougiily that,
* hell would ring wheuever anyone as
would ring whenever anyone,
b n ? coughed. The servant girl
could light the kitchen fire by touching
à button on her bedhead, and the bull
dog was released wheuever a window
wan opened after dark. Hts business
caneet began when the neighbors of the
Hot Huts hired the boy .to protect and
equip their bouses In a similar fashion.
j work of Garret A. Hobart Jr. A
V^. 'Y* 8 08 *cleutltie as that of the
fi® 8 * êtectrldane, nnd as it wns fear
Cul)y and wonderfully cheap as com
pared with that of the professionals, '
■»' Tir» -JaamÛM =S "
OAX1RT A. HO BAHT, 4H.
- r - -v „ , - . - »
want In the White House If Ho- '
, bHr * & Oo. are allowed full sway,
the boy Bran throve nt Psteraon. It le ,
expected that President McKinley and |
hU family will have all the bell-rlnglng j
KAIKKK S NBW
GERMANY'S DUDE RAISER.
•' i ' ' ' ——:
Row He Trains HI# Mu*tactic to Staad
I Up Straight.
Such a thing as an army Officer with
out a mustache la hardly known In the
German empire, the erratic ruler of
which gives h 1 s
subjects an exam
pie of bow to train
the hirsute adorn
ment in question,
Ills Majesty pos
semes the newest
and most success*
ful mustache truln
er (n Germany. It
Is an arrangement
divided In the cen
ter by a buckle. On
each side of tho
buckle Is a strip of ribbon, lined with
pink ' netting, permitting ventilation.
At the end of euch ribbon Is a tiny
coffib, Ills Majesty's valet pinces tbe
buckle In tbe center of bis Majesty's
mustache and cotubs tlie ends of tho j
Imperial mustache towqrd his Majes- (
ty's cars. The end of the ribbons can j
then tee fastened by pieces of elastic '
tq the ertrs. The little combs lie down ;
and cause no nnuoyance. It can be
worn nt nlglit, nnd If the whiskers are
long enough the result Is sure to be
most wnrllke and Impressive. The Em
poror has a very line mustache. The
ends are long and sharp, nnd point to- ]
wiird the ears as straight and stiffly a«
If they were made of steel. », j
ROWS OF TROPHIES,
_ . 1 „ ..
H * w Alaskan «-klmo# Ornament
Their Poor tints.
The Eskimos of Alaska live In rude
iconatructed huts, and frequently the
outside of the shelter Is decorated In a j
fashion that vividly recalls a boneyard
to the mind of the civilized traveler. I
Rows of grinning, skulls of various
BUT or ALASKAN ESKIMOS.
kinds of animals are ranged along
, and the
most sheltered side of tbe hut,
owner takes great pride In their num
ber, looking at them much as sn enthu
siastic sportsman regards thé antlers
of tbe bucks be bss brought down.
Moses Junior—Fader, a sbentlemsn
In de shop wants to know If dst alb
wool nonsbrtnksble shirt will shrink?
Moses Senior—Does Id fld him?
Moses Junior—No; Id Is too big. ' 1
Moses Senior—Yah; Id vlU shrink!—
One Del I berat Iso.
Emms—And, Charlie, dear,
yon have really shot yourself If 1 had
Charlie—Indeed I would! 1 had al- '
ready sent to.four houses fqt price lists *
of revolvers.— Fliegende Blatter. j
. . , - ,! .- r ~.— .
A , girl may lpok pretty when she
cries, but n boy never did,. <u>4 ®«ver .
lU¥ . ,
CALLS. . .
to tbs Unrodesnrad.
I HE soul fed upon
husks, «wer goto /
walks, 1 but ISw»--"«'
The best men »
men. ,n . •
A poor free
lunch costa more
The true life Is
the life we live wltWn ourselves. ......
The casse et' our not being esteemed
ourselves. , ....... . .
God. pity the man vfr^o mprden.bla
«er» Innocence. • . j
If there Is nothing IÜ "a mail, bis *
portunlty" never comes» i, r.
It Is • blessing to have opinions; tt
le a cum to be opinionated, , i ,
The one maq who falls In character,
has made the greatest failure. " J "'
All sinful life Is mitral Insanity; 'and*'"'"''
a guilty Set is criminal lunacy.
' >u * 1 '
The largest acreen for g oaloen, la to
ull4 a summer resort qU qroqnd it
Jojr Is the, companion of Love, and
they] may always be found together.
The matt whdeb opinion la hardest to
get )s the man whose opinion Is meet
wor^b getting. , , : (
Tlie «oddest Ignorance In this world
Is not to know the pleasure that comet
Tlie preacher Who has ttt go to Eu
rope to get Ideas, baa not enterod tbs
Ihflqite field oftruth. , . ,, t
Opinions are g good thing to have tq
life,] but an extra pair of'suspenders to
oftep of morn practk-al value.
p> differ from yon Ip oplnlop.
It] la s merciful provision o^provl
den^o that in hours of darkest sorrow''
we *re not conacions of wbat we suffer,
Some people's virtues are Hke the
boyje fishr-when the head of, vanity
and, the tall of selfishness ure cut off,
Ï IRng n man hard namea, to often'
another wny,of snylOff Tpst hf
there 1« nothing heft'to eat
The nuthemntlca of marriage—man
liecpmes an Integer hutesdjof a Iraqi,
OLp TIME COURTESY.
t ths Sort Fonad la Qians Whan
8ha Was r
Ysnng sad Unfettered.
, T|tere wasn't dtty particular exettft
», egt ovsr the hanging of tbc turns
polkted out and qrrystfd at pig,
as the chap who stole a pack mule
Colonel White'* ettmp; over tttt
RlVer. One of White's men; Who was
ovek after bacon, happened to,Mfgk,
the> stranger and he went to Jim Red
fern, president of tbe vlgflAttCè com
mlnee, and tiald: . .
"fini, Is It a good day for a banging?"
' "Wall, tolerably fa'r," replied Jim.
1 "The kuss who stole obr pnCk ttteWT
Is down In thef tin front saloon.'' n u
"I see. And you want him (tung?? .,
"I don't Leer no great shakes about
It myself, but I reckon tbe kurnet
wofuld be irteascd." I ■ • » t
"I'm willing to obleege Colonel.,
White, as he's a good friend of mine; ,
but do you think the critter down thaf u '
has any objeebahuns to bsln.'. bung?"
'tile don't look lpe a man wbo'd kick
about It. 'Pears môrè' HKé h critter
who'll l>e glad to be off tbe alrth."
,'IWall. we'll take cbaaces on him.?,
aald Jim, and he want to bta shanty and, .
- - - s '--' " T io?T f
rope and asked eight or ten
the boys to go along. When the crowd
reached tbe tin front saloon, the steam
ger was Just coming out.
"Bay, we waut you," remarked Bed*
"Gain' to hang you."
• 'Couse why?"
•Fur stealib' Kurnet White's pack
"Well, fire sway,?
jle wns escorted to n tree whereon a
ddasen more men had been daly hah god
and lifted upon att empty whisky bote«
re | the noose was soon placed qv«r his
>x\' an t to say nnythlngr asked Jim,
lg ft U was ready. ' - i
"Then let 'er go."
An hour later, White's man, who had
started for home, returned to bnnt up
Mr. Red fern, and say:
"Lookta-yere, Jim, that feller didn't.
steal our mewl."
"No?" i •
"No. They got tbe feller and the 'j
ntcwl over at Clay City, nnd hung him
this tnornln'. I thought this was the
feller, but I must bev bln mistook."
"I see. Wall, he's bln bung and l*ur- »
led, and we can't help him any now.
We'll Jest let the next one off, to even
up things. My compliments to the
kurnel, and tell hlm I shall always
ready to obleege blm."—Pendleton
Easily Baited After All.
A stage manager well known In the
small towns for bis ambitious demands
In regard to scenery and stage effects,
yet who was equally satisfied with the
most meager provision, skid one morn
ing to tbe lessee of a wooden booth:
"In the first set I shall require a regi
ment of soldiers on the right, n posse
of policemen on the left'and a crowd of
peasants on the bridges in the center.
I Now. how many suiters have you?"
, "Two. sir." To which he composedly
t replied: "That will do beautifully." . t.
A polosies. .
Who's making all that racket out
_____ I want some chance to rekd-o
* and think." ...
j- "It's me as Is slngln'," snapped thu 1
. autocrat of the kitchen; v aud what ,
of , t ,„
. "Ob, I beg your pardon. I thougfff
was my wife."—Detroit Free Press.
xml | txt