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The Iowa patriot. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1839-1839, June 13, 1839, Image 1

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Washington and Water Streets,
I O W A A I O w i e u i s e
a week, at THREE DOLLARS per
will be inserted at
the rate of one dollar per square, for the first
and fifty
subsequent insertion.
A liberal deduction will be made to all those
who advertise by the year.
I rom the April Knickerbocker.
In the year 1S08, I enjoyed the never
to-be-forgotten gratification of a paddle up
the Hudson, on board the first steamboat
Aat ever moved oil the waters of any riv
er, with passengers. Among the voya
gers, was a man I had known for many
year's previous, by the name of Jabez Do
little. He was an indutrious and ingen­
worker in sheet-iron, tin, and wire
but his great success lay in wire-work,
especially in making "rat-traps and for
this, his last and best invention in that
line, he had just secured a patent and
with a specimen of his work, he was
then on a journey through the state of
New York, for the purpose of disposing
of what he called "county rights or,
in other words to sell the privilege of
catching rats, according to his patent trap.
It was a very curious trap, as simple as it
was ingenious as most ingenious tilings
are, after they are invented. It was an
oblong wire box, divided into two com
partments a rat entered one, where the
bait was hung, which he no sooner
touched, than the door at which he enter
ed, fell. His only apparent escape was
by a funnel shaped hole into the apart
ment in passing which he moved another
wire, which instantly re-set the trap and
thus rat after rat was furnished the means
of "following in the footsteps of his il
lustrious predecessor," until the trap was
full. Thus it was not simply a trap to
catch a rat, but a trap by which rats trap
ped rats, ad infinitum.
This trap at the time to which I allude
absolutely divided the attention of the
passengers: and for my part it. interested
me quite as much as did the steam en
gine because perhaps, I could more easi
ly comprehend its mystery. To me, the
steam engine was Greek the trap was
plain English. Not so, however, to Ja
bez Dooli tie. I found him studying the
engine with great avidity and persever
ance, in so much that the engineer evi
dently became alarmed, and declined an
swering any more questions,
"Why, you need'nt snap off so tarnal
short," said Jabez "a body would think
you hadn't got a patent for your machine.
If I can't meddle with you on the water,
as nigh as I can calculate, I'll be up with
you on land, one of these days."
These omninous words fell on ray ear
as I saw Jabez issue from the engine
room, followed by the engineer, who
seemed evidently to have got his steam
"Well," said I, "Jabez, tfdiat do you
think of this mighty machine?"'
"Why," he replied, "if that critter
hadn't got riled up so soon, a body could
tell more about it but I reckon I've got'
a leetle notion on' it and taking me a-1
side, and looking carefully around, lest
some one should overhear him, he "then
and there," assured me in confidence, in
profound secrecy, if he did n't make a
wagon go by steam before he was two.
years older, then he'd give up invention.
I, at first, ridiculed the idea but when I
thought of that rat trap, and saw before
me a man with sharp twinkling grey
eyes, a pointed nose, and every line of his
visage a channel of investigation and in
vention, I could not resist the conclusion,
that if he ever did attempt to meddle with
hot water, we should hear more of it.
Time went on. Steam-boats multiplied
tut none dreamed, or if they did, they
sever told their dreams, of a steam-wag
on for even the name of "locomotive,"
was then as unknown as Loco Foco."—
When about a year after the declaration
of the last war with England, (and may
it be the last!) I got a letter from Jabez,
®arked, "private," telling me that he
banted to see me "most desperately
&nd that I must make a visit at his place
"nigh Wallingford," On reaching his
residence, imagine my surprise, when he
Md me he belie vedii^he had got the no
"Notion?—What notion?" I enquired.
"Why," says he, "that steam-wagon,
tell'd you about a spell ago but," added
®c» "it has pretty nigh starved me out,"
sure enough he did look as if he had
^non "the anxious seat,"' as he used to
Puzzle(i him.
have used up," said he, "plaguey
all the sheet-iron, and old stove-pipes
mm wheels, and trunnel-heads, in
parts: but I've succeeded and for
ear that some of these cute folks about
may have got a peep through the
®y-hole, and will trouble me when I
roe to get a patent, Pve sent for you to
•a Alness for you was the first and
y Wan I ever hinted the notion to. In
continued he, "I think the most
VetTl? invention is, that as
»1 ^nown any one about here
.0 has been able to guess what I'm
They all know it is an invention
^8ome kind, for that's my business,
but some Myitis a thrashing
IWwim iiifitfi" fy i-
machine, some a distillery, and, of late
they begin to think it's a shingle-spatter
but they'll sing another tune, when they
see it spinning along past the stage coach
es," added he, with a knowing chuckle,
'won't they?"
This brought us to the door of Sn old
clapboarded, dingy, long one-story build
ing, with a window or two in th^ roof,
the knot-holesand cracks all carefully stuf
led with old rags, and over the door he
was unlocking, was written, in bold let
ters, "No Admittance." This was his
"sanctum sanctorum. There it stood,
occupying the centre of all previous
conceptions, rat-traps, churns, apple-pear
ers, pill-rollers, cooking-stoves, and shin
gle-splitters, which hung or stood around
it, or, as my lord Byron says with refer
ence to a more ancient but not more im
portant invention:
Where each conception was a heavenly guest,
A ray of immortality, and stood
Star-like around, until "they gathered to a God."
And there it stood, "the concentrated fo
cus" of all previous rays of inventive gen
An unpainted, unpolished, unadorned,
oven shaped mass, of double rivited,
sheet-iron, with cranks, and pipes, and
trunnel heads, and screws, and all firmly
braced on four firmly made travelling
"It's a curious critter to look at," says
Jabez, "but you'll like it better, when
you see it in motion."
He was by this time igniting a quantity
of charcoal, whi-h he had stuffed under
the boiler. "I filled the bilc-r," says he
"arter I stopped working yesterday, and
it lia'nt leaked a drop since. It will
soon bile up the coal is fins± rate."
Sure enough the boiler sooagave evidence
of "troubled waters,' when, by pushing
one slide, and pulling another, the whole
machine, cranks and piston was in mo
"It works slick, dont it?'' said Jabez.
But," I replied, "it doff't move."
"You mean,"' said he, "the traveling
wheels don't move well, I dont mean
they shall, till I get my patent. You see,"
he added, crouching, down, "that trunnel
head, there—that small cog-wheel?—
Well, that's out of gear j^ust yet when I
turn that into gear, by -this crank, it fits,
you see, on the main .-traveling wheel
and then the hull scrape will move, as
nigh as I can calculate, a little slower
than chain lightnin', ai?d a darn'd leetle,
too! But it won't do to^give it a try afore
I get the patent. Ther5 is only one thing
yet," he continued, "that I lia'nt contriv
ed—but that is a simple matter—and that
is the shortest mode of stoppin' on her.
My first notion is, toi^ee how fast I can
make her work, without smashing all to
bits, and that's done by screwing down
this upper valve and-Fll show you
And with that he clambered up on the
top, with a turning gerew in one hand,
and a horn of soap (at in the other and
commenced screwing down the valves,
and oiling the piston rod and crank joints
and the motion of the mysterious mass
increased, until all seemed A BUZ.
"It is nigh about perfection, aint it?"
said he.
I stood amazed in comtemplating the
object before me, v*hich I confess I could
not fully understand and hence with the
greater readiness, permitted my mind to
bear off to other matters more compre
hensible to the future, which is always
more clear than the present, under similar
circumstances. I heeded not, for the very
best reason in the world, because I under
stood not, the complicated description
that Jabez was giving of his still more
complicated invention. All I knew was,
that here was a machine oil four good
sturdy well braced wheels, and it only
required a recorded patent, to authorize
that small connecting cog-wheel or trun
nel-head to be thrown "into gear," when
it would off, without oats, hay, or horse
shoes, and distance the mail coaches. As
I was surrounded with notions, it was not
extraordinary that one should take full
possession of me. It dawned upon me
when I saw the machine first in motion,
and was now full orbed above the horizon
of my desire, it was to see the first loco
motive move off. The temptation was ir
resistible. "And who knows thought 1,
but some prying scamp may have been
peeping through the key-hole, while Ja
bez was at work, and catching the idea
may be at work at some clumsy imitation?
—and if he does not succeed in turning
the first trick, may at least divide the
honors with my/riend?"
"Jabez," said I, elevating my voice
above the buzzing of the machine, "there
is only one thing wanting."
"What is that," said he eagerly.
"Immortality said I, "and you shall
nave it, patent or no patent." And with
that, I pulled the crank that twisted the
connecting trunnel-head into the traveling
wheels, and in an instant away went the
machine, with Jabez on top of it, with
the whiz and rapidity of a flushed part
ridge. The side of the old building pre
sented the resistance of wet paper. One
crash and the "first locomotive," was
ushered into this breathing world. I hur
ried to the opening, and just time to clam
ber to the top of a fence to catch the last
glimpse of my fast departing friend.
True to his purpose, I saw him alternate
screwing down the valves, and oiling the
piston-rod and crank joints evidently de
termined that although he started off a lit
tle unexpectedly, he would redeem the
pledge he had given, which was, that
when it did go, it "would go a leetle
slower than a streak of chain lightnin',
and a darn'd leetle, too!"
'Like a cloud in the dim distanco fleeting,
.Like an urrow," ho flew away,
But in a moment, and he was here in a
moment he was there and now where is
he?—or rather whereas he not? But that
for the present, is "neither here nor
My task is done. All I now ask, is,
that although some doubt and mystery
hang over the first invention of a steam
boat—in which doubt, however I for one
do not participate—none, whatever may
exist in regard to the origin of the loco
motive branch of the great steam family
and that, in all future time, this fragment
of authentic history may enable the latest
posterity to retrace* by "back-track," and
"turnout," through the long rail-road line
of illustrious ancestors, the first projector
and contriver of "The First Locomotive,"
their immortal progenitor, "JABEZ DOO
XITTLE, Esq. nigh Wallingford, Connec
From the N. Orleans Picavune.
We yesterday saw a fellow what chews
tabacco and eschews labor, writing, ge
ometrical figures with his feet on the
wooden pavement in St. Charles street.
He had a charcoal kind of countenance,
shaded over with a pickled niackrel color
his nose seemed to reflect the setting sun
and his eye looked as muddy as ferment
ed porter.—Sometimes he would describe
a circle, again a semi-circle, now a trian
gle and then a hexagon. His hat was
shocking bad, and like its owner stood in
need of a nop. His body-fitter vulgo his
coat, like Tom Bowline's unmention
ables, was "pleasent and cool," and
was as well ventilated as a gardener's wa
tering pot. His pants, like the times,
were sadly, out of joint, or rather his
joints were sadly out of his pants, and
with a view of evading as much as possi
ble the effects of a tropical sun, which he
thought marred personal comfort more
than the snows of the polar regions. He
wore his shoes slipshod., They were ea
sy and comfortable, so full of hole that
they could not possibly injure his corns,
and pattered against his heels as he walk
ed, like hailstones against a glass window.
He was evidently of a poetic tempera
ment, but instead of his
"Eye in a line frenzy rolling."
it turned lazily round like a weathercock
in calm weather.
When we came up he was singing a
song, to a tune which sounded something
like "The meeting of the Waters.' His
voice was about as musical as a concert
performed on a stage-driver's tin trumpet,
a broken barrel organ and a banjo, and he
was committing songicide, on something
like the following:
There's not in the wide world
A liquor so sweet
As is found in a tumbler
Where mint and gin meet.
They may boast of cold water
Of sodas and pops
But a julep exceeds
Even Benton's mint drops.
He was just going to docapo the latter
part of hia verse when he lost his equili
brum, and the wooden pavement became
his resting place.—"Keep cool," was his
first ejaculation as he eased the position
of his head on the curb stone. Indeed the
phrase "keep cool"' was with him a kind
of perpetual motion principle, which Avas
the main spring of all his actions. If he
took a julep, it was always because he
was too warm and wished to "keep cool."
If the watchman met him lying on the
banquet at night, poked him in the ribs
with his club and called on him to show
cause why he was there where it is no bo
dy's business to be, he invariably answer
ed that he wished to "keep cool if he
were twitted about the dilapidated state
of his wardrobe, he replied that he could
wear jist as good clothes as other folks—
he had a new suit at the tailors, but he
wore his present garments because he
wished to "keep cool."
If it were hinted to him that he was
seen taking gumbo on the Levee, he at
once acknowledged the "soft impeach
ment said that he would as soon enter
a steam boiler as a restaurant at this sea
son—that he alwags did take his dish of
gumbo on the Levee, for the mere pur
pose of keeping cool, and he argued that
a plate of gumbo was a plate of gumbo
wherever it was eaten, and that it was in
trinsically as good on the Levee as any
place else—"there was no two ways
about it."
But in the present instance he discours
ed thus wise on his ruling passion: "There
now" (inclining in under the shade of the
trees in Lafayette square)—"there now I
feels cool—my eyes vouldn'tl like to be a
thermometer—if I was, by jimminy the
silver should never rise above zero—Lor!
how pleasant it vould be at that heat.—
The fault I finds with juleps is, that al
though I swallers them to make me cool,
they will sometimes make me hot, and
that's vat I calls a natural phernonomon
it's just like the vind and the aurory bo
realis, no body can tell nothing about it
or it's vat a public lecturer vould call a
chemical mystery, vot cant be comprer
hended by fellers of hornary intellect.—
There is von thing certain, I fears I vill
have to slope this summer. It's too varm
for me. I'm blowed if I follows Bill
Price he aint gone far enough North for
me—besides I vont borrow, money from
no one to spend in London or Paris—I
scorns the hact. No, I has been often as
good to Van Buren as six woters, and if
he does'nt make me consul at Kamschat
ka, or get me a sitavation from the Amer
ican Fur Company, I shall turn vig and
go and explore the North Western pas
sage, I'm blowed if l.-don't. ...
We copy the following as much for its hu
mor as to show what is the present state of pub
lic sentiment in Maine, conccrning the late
alraost-Border War.—ED. PATRIOT.
Correspondence of the Bangor Whig & Courier.
SALT RIVER, April 3d, 1839
MR PRINTER:— I suppose you begin to
think I ain't here because you havent
heard from me for some time, but you'd
have heard from me before now if it had
ent been for the war, but as soon as the
drum beat up for volunteers, I and every
whig and some locos at this place slung
our napsacks and cleared for the border.
We threw aside all party feelings and
were ready and willing to fight under
Squire Fairfield to the bat's end, if he'd
oijly go right ahead, tho' we concluded
he'd make himself so popular, that Salt
River would be our portion for life, but
still we dident care for that, so that things
went on right. Well, you see, things
went-on pretty well for some time, the
Squire behaved so well that we thought
he was growing Whigish, and we were
really pleased with the Squire, and I guess
we should all have voted for him next fall,
for we have always gone for "measures,
not men." But we hadent been long in
camp, before "a change came over the
face of our dreams" and we could'nt for
some time tell what was the matter, till
after a while we heard that Martin had
writ a letter to the Squire and scolded
at him for taking the "responsibility."
'Twas a curious document I tell you,—
may be you have seen it. It was like
giving him candy with one hand and cuf
fing him with the other. He told him
he'd done right, but told him right would
ent always answer for the PARTY on the
great plan, for you see Martin has to
look out for twenty-five other States
eenermost as large as Maine, and 'twont
do for him to encourage Maine in doing
even what is right if he is going to lose
votes in other States by doing it and so
you see he told Squire Forsyth to cook up
something with Squire Fox that would
quiet Maine and give Squire Fairfield a
chance to get right again,—says he you
needent be particular, a most any thing
will keep her quiet when we've one of
our folks for Governor, for we've tried a
good many times. Well you see they
two got together and made a bargain,
though any body would think that we'd
had enough of bargains before—but
they went at it—Fox said we'd given
them exclusive jurisdiction—Forsyth said
we hadent, that made that even—so far so
good. Fox agreed that the blue noses
shouldenl drive our troops off of our own
soil if they'd go oft' themselves. Wan't
that clever? And then they agreed that
Squire Harvey and Squire Fairfield should
have mutual jurisdiction of our territory.
Wa'nt that kind to make Squire Harvey
come and help Squire Fairfield take care
of our land? I don't exactly understand
about this mutual jurisdiction, but I sup
pose it is something like this, if a man
commits a murder on this territory, he
must be tried in both countries, and if
found guilty in both, then both the Squires
or their Sheriffs (if they have any that
have courage enough) must go on to the
territory and both assist in patting the
rope around his neck, but if found guilty
in the Province and acquitted in Maine,
then we must send him to Squire Harvey
to be hung. Surely if this is mutual ju
risdiction, then is the "way of tlu trans
gressor hard." Our folks said Squire
Fairfield never would consent to this
agreement and he dident exactly, tho' I
think he did a little worse, for he has con
sented to hold what we alwaj's have held
and what the British never seriously con
tended for—and has given up what the
British always wanted and what belongs
to us and what we have always said they
never should have.
When our troops heard what he'd done
they were rip tearing mad and chock full
of fight, and I believe if the little Squire
had been there, tho' he aint bigger than a
gill of cider, they'd have made mince
meat of him. I guess he'd wish'd he
was selling small beer and ginger bread in
one of the back towns in the County of
York. But there's no use in crying for
spilt milk, but now the fuss is over, let us
look at the debt and credit and see what
we've gained. In the. first place, we've
gained a loss of half the territory belong
ing to us by the Treaty *of '83—then
we've gained an addition to our State debt
of some Six Hundred Thousand Dollars
—and we've gained the credit of truck
ling to a foreign power. Among our loss
es may be reckoned the following :—from
six to ten hairs out of Squire Strickland's
horse's mane, but whether by musket ball
or hp. the friction of the air in his speedy
flight through the wilderness, is not cer
tainly known. One loss more—we've lost
all confidence in a Loco Foco Govern
or, but we've gained the knowledge that
he can back out of a very small hole if he
is directed by the great head of the Loco
Foco party. ,«
Our folks got together after we heard
of the agreement, and thinking we might
as well laugh as cry we had a sit down,
and among others, the following toasts
were drunk:
Squire Fairfield—Brag is a good dog,
but Holdfast is a better. Music by the
band—tune, Bow wow wow, I'm Martin
Van's dog, whose dog art thou.
-Squire Strickland—
"Swift as an indian arrpw flies,
Or like a shooting star."
Music, tune—Devil take the hindmost.
Our Country—May she soon change
front, so as to bring the Van in the rear.
Music, tune—For there's no luck about
jthc house,
The Aroostook Expedition—A tragic,
comic opera, in three Acts, interspersed
with songs, glees, but no catches. Mu
sic, tune—0 dear, what can the matter be.
Squire Strickland—
"Of all the brave birds that ever I 6ee,
The Owl is the fairest iu his degree
For all the day long he sits under a tree,
And when the night corncs away flica he."
Music, tune—Why dost thou shiver and
shake so Gaffer Gray.
Our disputed territory under Loco Fo
co management—"Here she goes—there
she goes." Music, tune—Downfall of
The Officers and Soldiers of the Aroos
took Army—All they want is orders, to
stop Harvey's meditations, make the blue
noses walk Spanish, and settle the boun
dary question, in the twinkling of a bed
post. Music, tune—Yankee doodle.
After the toasts were drunk, dancing
was proposed, and the music struck up
the Sheriff's retreat, but there was but one
man in the company who was spry
enough to go it, and he had St. Vitus'
dance, or he'd never been able to keep up
with the music, so they gave it up and
went home, after passing the following
Resolved, That next September we will
elect a man for Governor who wont back
out through a knot-hole.
Yours till death,
—While upon the Jeremy Diddler sub
ject, it may not be amiss to mention an
amusing circumstance which took place
in an eating-house in town. A poor
Frenchman (it was in the winter) enter
ed one merely for the purpose of warm
ing himself at the fire he was in too great
distress to think of any indulgence in the
good things there smoking in profusion,
save such as might be inhaled by his ol
factory nerve. While engaged in rub
bing his half-starved, bony hands before a
good fire, the master of the house came
up, and said—
"Wont you take something?"
"I tank you, sare," was the reply.
What will you take?"
"What you please."
"We have some very nice roast turkey
and sausages will you like that?"
"I tank you, I sail like him vere
"Sit down here, and I will bring it you.'
The Frenchman was accordingly ush
ered into a box, and the turkey and dress
ings placed before him. Of whatever he
was asked to partake, he partook. He
ate bountifully, and washed it down with
some good wine. Poor fellow! he had
not known such a meal before for many a
long day. The proprietor thought he had
a good customer his mortification and
disappointment were extreme when, on
presenting his bill the Frenchman said,
"I have no money, sare."
"No money?"
"Then what the devil did you come
into my house, and order such a dinner
"Pardon, you mistake I crnie here to
warm myself—you come to me and ask
me if I will take nothing I say 'I tank
you you say 'What will you take?' I re
spond 'What you please.' you bring me
de turkey, de sausage, de tart, de pudding
de cheese, and de wine I no ask you for
them, you ask me will I take, and I can
no refuse.
The master of the house, who was
something of a humorist, and who was al
so struck with the Frenchman's gaunt and
poverty stricken figure, suffered him to
depart. But great was his astonishment
at seeing, a short time afterwards, anoth
er Frenchman enter, who, upon being
asked what he would take, likewise re
plied, "What you please." "Oh, ho,"
exclaimed the landlord, "I forgave the oth
er because he was an original but you,
fellow, are a mere copyist, I shall kick
you into the street," which he did accord
ingly. It appeared that the poor premier
Frenchman had met an acquaintance and
told him of his adventure at the eating
house, the poor starved acquaintance has
tened to the spot already feasting in ima
gination on delicacies innumerable, and
little dreaming of the unpleasant denoue
ment which the cruel Fates had in reserve
for hiin.
The Rev. Jason Lee, missionary to
Oregon, speaking of the inhabitants, says:
"Superstitious notions prevail among
the Indians on the coast. They believe
that when one is sick, some person has
brought an evil spirit upon him, and that
wiien one dies, it is through the influence
of some other man. Suspicion is fixed
before death, and the dying man hires
some one to go and shoot the suspected
person, or his relations hire some one to
commit the awful deed, after his death!
And many times, the first intimation he
has of any suspicion, he is shot at. The
murderer secretes himself, and if he can
prove that he was hired, he is not held
responsible, while the one who hired him
is thus held. Several Indians with whom
I have been acquainted, have thus fallen.
I visited the grave of a chief, during whose
sickness, and at the time of his death,
seven persons were killed in this way
one of whom was his own brother'.
One night I heard an unusual noise in
an Indian tent. I went in and saw an
aged woman, weak and emaciated, just
tottering over the grave, who had a child,
only a year and a half old which she was
trying to strangle! I asked her why she
wished to kill the child. She ^replied
VOL. I No. 2.'
that its father and mother were both dead,
and there was no one to take care of it
and added that it was good to kill it. A
man showed me a boy whom he and an
other man had prevented being buried
alive with his deceased mother! The
plea was, that he had no parents and he
might as well be buried with her!
RESIGNATION.—Deacon Marvin was a
worthy Deacon in Lyme, Connecticut,
and he fell in love—Deacons as well as
ministers are "made of such frail stuff as
all the lighter sons of vanity" and are just
as liable to stub their toes, bark their shins
or fall in love, as any other men:—Dea
con Marvin fell in love with Betty Lee,
as pretty a lass as ever stepped into Lynn
meeting house of a Sabbath day and she
was as constant there as the Deacon him
self, to say nothing of the minister.—
I When the Deacon's love had waxed so
Jwarm and uproarious that he could no
longer restrain himself, he mounted his
plough horse, and directed his course to
Captain Lee's. Reflecting, on the way,
that it would ill become the dignity of a
deacon to make love as do the world's
people, he determined to conduct opera
tions with a serious gravity befitting the
occasion. He had studied his bible to
good purpose, and resolved to make the
patriarch Jacob his pattern. According
ly on finding himself by the side of Miss
Betty, he lifted up his voice and jkissed
her, yea, he kissed her again and again,
and he said, "Betsy, verily, Betsy, the
Lord hath sent me to marry thee!" Betsy
had hitherto been little better than One of
the wicked but the Deacon's kissqs had
wrought wonders, and, although! there
was a little mischief in her eye sjhe an
swered with all the resignation anjd sub
mission of a Deacon's intended, to the
great joy of Deacon Marvin, "the will of
the Lord be done." They were mian and
wife in a fortnight.
SHEEP TOO?—A valued friend and an able
farmer, about the time temperance Reform
was beginning to exert a healthful! influ
ence, said to his newly hired man, Jona
than, I did not think to mention to you
when I hired you, that I think of trying
to do my work this year without rum how
much more must I give you to do without?
'Oh,' said Jonathan, 'don't car? much
about it, you may give me what you
please.' 'Well,' said the farmer, fl will
give you a sheep in the fall, if you wish
to do without.' 'Agreed said Jonathan.
The oldest son then said: 'father will
you give me a sheep, if I do without rum?'
'Yes, Marshall, you shall have a sheep
if you will do without.'
The youngest son, a stripling, then
said:—'Father, will you give me a sheep if
I do without?' "Yes, Chandler, you shall
have a sheep also, if you do without rum.'
Presently Chander speaks again—'Fa
ther, had'nt you better take a sheep, too?'
This was a poser, he hardly thought
that he could give up the 'good creature'
yet. But the appeal was from a source
not to be easily disregarded the result
was, the demon rum, was thenceforth ban
ished from the premises, to the great joy
and ultimate happiness of: J1 concerned.
An amusing anecdote, indicative of the
shrewdness and good management of Sec
retary WOOBURY, is confidently related in
Wall street. An intelligent French Bro
ker, Mr. D. some time since, discovered
that a fraud had been committed on the
Revenue Department to the amount of
about thirteen thousand dollars. He pro
ceeded to Washington, stated the case to
the Secretary, arid made an arrangement
to collect the money, provided he was al
lowed one half the amount collected.—
Mr. Woodbury, in his great caution for
the security of the Government, insisted
that the District Attorney should be em
ployed as counsel. To this part of thee
arrangement the Broker reluctantly as
sented. A few days before the depar
ture of Mr. Price, for England, lift actual
ly collected the amount, but in the confu
sion of the moipent forgot to leave any
part of the money behind. Mr. D. now
calls on the Secretary of the Treasury for
$6,500, his share of the recovery, and the
Secretary refers him to Congress for an
appropriation, to make] good his contract.
Thus, by this operation, the loss of $13,
000 is increased to $19,500, if the Gov
ernment acts justly.—Courier 4* Enqui
vited a person to dine with him, whom
he treated with an excellent dinner, a bot
tle of wine, and a pipe of tobacco. His
guest after drinking freely, became ei
tremely rude and abusive to his host, in
somuch that the Quaker's patience was at
length quite exhausted and he rose up and
addressed him in the following Words:
'Friend, I have given thee a meat offer
ing, a drink offering, and a burnt offering,
and for thy misconduct, I will give thee a
heave offering and immediately threw
him into the street out ol' the pallor win
FRANKLIN—It is rather a curious inci
dent that, when the American Congress
sent Dr. Franklin, a printer, as minister
to France, the court of Versailles sent M.
Girard, a bookbinder, as minister to the
United States. When Dr. Franklin was
told of it he exclaimed, "Well, I'll jirint
the Independence of America,! and If.
Girard will bind it."
4 *4.

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