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Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, November 09, 1917, 3:30 Edition, Image 14

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Great men need to be lifted upon the shoul
ders of tlie whole w orld in. order to conceive
teir great ideas or perform their, great deeds.
Hawthorne. '. ' - -'i-'i
It is a good thing to keep all authoritarian
ism ever 'under question. There is some fake in
t alL institutions -William Marion Reedy.
. ,. :
The World's Highest Paid Wpman
" i. ' Writer '
E hear a treat neai aDoui mar-
A riaeo beinsr a failure and the
T f frequency of divorces " said
th Woman Philosopher, "but when
jou sit dn calmly and rontenulat3
the mirage that has to be wrousb". in
Luman na-we before any two pspU"
can adjust themselves to each other
io that they can live together in com
parative harmony the wonder is that
any marriage is a success and that
' ivorco ; isn't universal. : : :
'The reason , why nearly all mar
tiaE3 are the marriages of the young
s because it is only the young . and
;norant who have foolhardy courage
to believe ttat a man and woman with
different strains of blood In their,
veins, who have been brought up in a
different environment, who have been
bred to different habits, customs and
ways of lboxing at things, who have
different tastes and different stand
ards, can have a magic1 formula pro
pounced by a preacher over them in a
thurch and be really made one and go
home and live in peace ever after.
i "Thnm nf in Ti-hn are older know
better, and that's why very few peopled
over 40 years old havo tjie courage to
iry the matrimonial experiment . We
know that it is as hard for the leopard
to change his, spots as it Is for us to
get away from our family Ideals or al
ter the custom that we have followed
all our lives. Of course most-of us do
manage to achieve the transformation
io some extent, at leas.t, but no one
can deny that it is an unpleasant
process, full of bickering,- misunder-,
standings and hurt feelings on .both
v "Particularly on the bride's part
ilost women salt down the -first two
or three years of their 4 marriage in
prine and never think of them without
gulp in their throats.
"For you see that-attraction of oppo
fites thalt draws a man and a woman
together in the first place and makes
themv want to marry each other works
the opposite way as soon as they are
piarried and makes them antagonize
each other at every turn.
j "The cold, hard.- stern man, for in
stance, has a fatal fascination for the
warm-hearted, loving woman to whom
affection is the very breath of life.
She marries him and dies of starvation
lor the tenderness it is not in his na
ture to give Or the cultivated, schol
arly. man is irresistibly drawn to the
little doll baby girl who. has nothing
on her mind except the latest thing in
tats. He marries her and spends the
balance of his life on a mental desert
island perishing for intellectual com-:
paniorrship. - ": ,
'", "Or the girl who is nothing but an ;
animated fashion plate and who cares
for nothing . but the, gaiety of restau
rants, 'theatres and parties, marries a
man whose heart and soul and life are
bound up in some uplift work. Or
, the man whose dream of domestic
Wlss is a suburban home with a peram
bulator on the front porch and a hot
"dinner awaiting the 6:45r deliberately
picks out a professional woman for a
wife who Is more unalterably wedded
to her own latchkey and pocketbopk
than fihe ever will be to any man, and
. to whom all babies are brats.
- "Old Dame Nature, wlio Is the most
conscienceless matchmaker on earth,
and whose activities are: carried on'
for the good of the race and not th
happiness of the individuals concerned,
tirecipitates luckless couples into such
incongruous marriajges every day. You
?0 ft
' makes a home cozy
.''" - -''.-'''..'-. ,
The materials cost only a trifle but when tho
work your hands is applied to them, you have
things of beauty: and of a dollar and cents value far .
above yaur small original outlay. ' .
are showing a large, a variety of de-
signs for every sort of use together with the ma
terials for working' them, prices . run, the whole , .
gamut,' so that somewhere you will find the note that
accords, with your own purse strings. '
would say every one. of them was
bound to endvin divorce. ut they
don't. Somehow ' they rub along,
though, the attrition gives them the
worn and weary aspect that ma&es
married people generally look about
ten; years older than their bachelor
friends, male and female.
" "And even when there is no great
insurmountable obstacle, like a dif
ference in brain or moral outlook, be
tween a husband and -wife, there are
thousands of little differences, that
have to - be smoothed out and that
make the first few years- of married
life a hard road : to traveL Now, in
my? own case, I married one of the
dearest, most lovable, most generous
men the good God ever made, but the
first fen years of our married life was
fnll nf frirtinn between us and with
family, because he and I had been
reared in such different home atmos
pheres and had such different points
of view. : . : '
"My people :. were ; prim and puri
tanic, with rigid codes of conduct;
Each individual child of us had its
own room, ita own belongings, its own
privacy, and we would no more have
thought of using each other's things
or intruding on each other than we
would have - intruded on a stranger.
We were taught reticence about our
own affairs, and that to talk about
our plans Mas to Indulge in a sort ot
weak garrulity, .. ili-:' - V-:?::V;
"My husband, on the contrary, came
of a happy-go-lucky family, demon
stratively affectionate to each other,
and where everything was held almost
in common, and nobody had, or wanted
to have, any privacy. Everything that
everybody did was talked , over ex
haustively before and ; after it was
done, and was the subject of unlimited
free advice. 1 . ..'
"You cannot imagine how all of
this - grated on my every sensibility.
It seemed to me the very quintessence
Lof the vulgarity of - family; life. I al
most died of silent fury the first time
my husband asked me whom sl letter
was from that I was reading, and it
was months before I had sense ; en
ough to perceive that what prompted
his question was not a jealous desire
to pry into " my correspondence, but
just a loving interest that made any
thing that concerned me, even my let
ters, of interest to him. "
'It shocked cie to. hear him tell of
his aspirations. I thought it weak
bragging, until , in course of tlma I
learned that it .was just his affection
ate . desire to share his hopes : witn
those dear to him.', ",
"And his family equally misjudged
me. Because I couldn't discuss . with
them a new; dress or hat,, before I
bought it, they thought me secretive.
Because I. have never been able to tx
press a millionth part of what I felt,
they thought me cold, and because I
couldn't overcome the habit that had
been instilled into me from my baby
hood and accept the things they of
fered to lend, me, they thought me
proud and exclusive. :So I will al
ways be an outsider, to my husband's
people. Perhaps that is the reason
that most in-laws get' along so badly
together. It's family characteristics
that neither side can help having that
makes the family elide . a perpetual
prize ring. i . - .': '
. "In domestic life it's the little things
that count . Nearly ail of us could
forgive our husbands or wivej some
one great: big sin if only they were
congenial and sympathetic -and com
paionable about petty everyday af
panionable about petty everyday af
glvable is the everlasting antagonistic
attitude the husband or wife who
never thinks "the wajyyou do, who
Hotel St., near Fort
never likes the things yon like, who
never wants to do the things you wi
to do
: 'The wife, I pity is the girl who
has been brought up to be inaepenaeui
and whn marries a man who his been
raised to think a wife should be her
husband's slave, or the gin wno uia
been netted and loved and indulged
who marries a human icicle. The win
who has my sympathy is the man no
has had a bie ; brained. intelligent
mother, and sisters, and who marries
a fool, or the man who has been rus
Pd to seA a wife be a helDmeet to ner
husband who marries a selfish; spoil
ed, extravagant girl who i3 a mm
stone about his neck.
"But, as I said before," the Woman
Philosopher added, "thes9 unsuitable
marriages do take place, and tnej
don't all end in divorce. And that's
the marvel of matrimony. It shows
that the old martyr spirit still exists."
(Copyright, 1917, by The Wheeler Syn
dicate, Inc.)
r Dorothy Dix's articles appear regu
larly in this paper every Monday,
Wednesday and Friday.
i-:U;;:--7,r' BORN. :
WEBB In Honolulu, November 6,
1917, to Mr. and Mrs. Marshall H.
Webb. Jr., of Dole street, a son.
MARKHAM In Honolulu, November
5, 1917, to Mr, and Mrs. William
. Markham, of 402 Iolani avenue, Au
" w aiolimu, a son.
WHITE In Honolulu, October
1917, to Mr. and Mrs. William Opu
nui White, of 1247 Peterson lane,
Palama, a daughter Lucia.
lu, November 7, 1917, Dr. C P.
Mueller of Schofield Barracks and
4 Miss Nancy Belle McRoberts of New
York, Rev. Leon - L. Loofbourow,
pastor of the First Methodist Epte-
' .copal church, officiating: witnesses
' Miss Ida E. Skinner and Mrs.u
L. Ioofbourow. . ; V:'.
G USTL1N-WEED In Honolulu, No
vember 7, 1917, ; Walter F. Gustlin
and Mrs. Evelyn A. Weed, Rev. Leon
Loofbourow, pastor of the First
Methodist Episcopal church, offi
ciating: witnesses Mrs. J. H. Cha-
" pin and Mrs. L. L. Loofbourow.
vember 6, 1917, Frank C; Fetler and
Miss Sue Kalkes, Judge J. M. Mon
sarrat officiating; witnesses Flor
ence G. Kearns and Agnes Hewitt.
November 5, 1917, Albert Edward
Beckman and Miss Minnie Patti Ab
bott, Bishop Henry Bond Restarick,
of i Honolulu, officiating; witnesses
Grace Anderson and Gug Morten.
COSTA-COELku In Honolulu, No-
vember 4, 1917, John A. Costa and
Miss Mariann, Rev. Father Sebas
tian Konze, of the Catholic Catrie
dral, officiating; witnesses August
Perry and Emily Perry.
THAYER At the Queen's hospital,
Honolulu, November 7, 1917, Arthur,
infant son of Mr. and Mrs. Arthur
Fletcher Thayer, a native of this
city. ' :
FK-ITAS In Honolulu, November 7,
1917, John de Freitas (Comprido),
of 2037 Kalakaua avenue, Walk iki.
married, gardener, a native of Ma
deira, Portugal, 6G years old.
SETOS In Honolulu, November 7,
.1917, Joao de Freitas Setos, of
Punchbowl street, widowed, a native
of Madeira, Portugal, aged 87 years.
WEBB In Honolulu, November 6,
1917, infant son of Mr. and Mrs.
Marshall H. Webb, Jr., of Dole
street, a native of this city.
MERRICK In Portland, Ore., Novem
ber 5, 1917, Mrs. J. E. Merrick of
Portland, mother of Owen Merrick
of Honolulu, a native of Canada, 65
years old.
Philadelphia, Pa. "One year ago I
was very sick and I Buffered with pains
rin xny side and oacjc
rantil I nearly went
crazy. I went to
idiff erentdoctcrs and
they all said I had
female, trouble and
would not get any
relief until I would
bV onerated on. I
had suffered f orf our
years before thia
time.but I kept get
ting worse the moraJ
rnedidne I took.1' Every month since I
was a youiig girl I had suffered with
cramps in my sides at periods and was
never regular. I saw; your advertise
ment in the newspaper and,the picture
of a woman who had been saved from
cooperation' and ; this picture was im
pressed on my mind. " The doctor had
given me only two more days to make
up my mind so I sent my husband to the
drug store at once for a bottle of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
believe me, I soon noticed a change and
when I had finished the third bottle I
was cured and never felt better. ; I grant
you the privilege to publish my letter
anil am only too glad to let other women
know of my cure. Mrs.THOS.McGON
10113122 Eartville Street PhilaJ?
never wants to do the things you warn , .lg . r'.' p MB" UvS&yi1 &
F J i
iHHW Mil II 1
IB i
Be lied to Woman's
Judge Ashford.
All Right for Him to Have a
Governess Up to Age of
6, CQneVsjfievv
That a governess fpr 4-year-old
Richard Smart would be neces
sary only untifhe 3'about 6 years
old and that, after he has reached
that age; . he should . be out. playing
with youngsters of his own size and
not be tied to anyone's apron strings
was the i opinion expressed by Cir
cuit Judge' Ashford in intimating what
he would do when he renders a final
decision' on recommendations to give
the baby $11,050 instead of $2000 a
year. .
Regarding the purchase of an auto
mobile for the baby, the judge referred
to this as a picayune affair,' but de
clared that he was not disposed to
allow some $4600 for the purchase of
a limousine. -He asserted that if the
climate of San Francisco is such that
a closed carriage is necessary, certain
ly a closed carriage is not needed in
Hawaii. He added, however, that he
might make an allowance for an
"automobile" under the circumstances.
"But the idea of a growing boy being
tied t the apron strings of a govern
ess when he should be out playing with
boys of his own age, is something that
does not appeal to me," asserted
Judge Ashford.
He also referred to the item
clothes,. $300 a year," as a picayune
matter. "But he could not possibly
wear out "that many clothes in a year,"
said the 'court :
The annual vacation trip to Hawaii
at $1200 per trip might be made per
manent, the court continued, but the
other yearly, vacation trip, figured at
$350, is questionable.
The master recommended that $700
be set aside each year for automobile
upkeep. .
"I certainly will not be disposed,'
said Judge Ashford, "to settle all the
expense of automobile maintenance on
this child as against the grandmother
with an annual income of $40,000."
The court expressed the opinion that
the annual item of $1000, for war and
ciarlties . donations, should be in
creased to $3000.
Exceptions to ; four of the recom
mendations of the master have been
filed by the: Trent Trust Co., guardian
of the estate of .young Smart. The
objectionable items are the annual trip
to Hawaii to cost $1200; automobile
upkeep, to cost $2700; war donations,
to amount- to $1000, and donations to
Waimea Hawaiians to amount to $1000.
Attorney WV J. Robinson, counsel for
the tru8t; company, said the" guardian
did hot want to pay out, the $1200, un
less the' trip to Hawaii was actually
made.- He also expressed the opinion
that the " grandmother., should ; pay
something' toward the maintenance of
the automobile, - as 'undoubtedly she
will use it . more than young Smart.
- Judge Ashford said that he would
consider the recommendaitons, accept
such portions as appeal to him, and
reject or modify those portions that do
not appeal to him. " V :;
; With Mrs. J F. Bowler, ; vice presi
dent, presiding in the absence, of
Mrs. B. : S. Cunha, "the Catholic.La-.
dies' Aid Society held its7 first meet
ing after a -three months vacation,
yesterday at - the t Library , of V H
waiL' The needs of the poor, irre
spective of race or color, were discuss
ed and . plans proposed and outlined
for; the winter's work . among the
poor. - The next regular meeting -will
be the second Thursday ia Novembe. I
i f
"I am more than, satisfied with the
results of my visit to California," said
Alexander Hume Ford", just returned
from tho mainland. ''I have had splen
did cooperattion and support given me
by J. Walter Scott, coast representa
tive of the Hawaii Promotion Commit
tee, and Emil A. Berndt, chairman of
the committee.
"The Pan-Pacific work on the main
land encourages me to believe that we
will hereafter work together as a unit
for Hawaii and the Pacific.
"Great advances have been made in
the Pan-Pacific propaganda; in fact it
is now emerging from a promotion pe
riod to enter one of cautious, careful
constructive work. A new set of men
are taking hold; men to whom we have
cried aloou until they have heard us,
and after Investigation appear ready
to take up the Pan-Pacific work in a
thorough business way, and further;
more to carry it on to permanent suc
cess.. ; ;;.';
' "What 'feature of the work will be
chosen as the corner stone I cannot
say. Harry Burhans, chief of the Den
ver Publicity Bureau and secretary of
the Western Tourist association, is a
guest of the Pan-Pacific union, to meet
here with our directers and study the
movement, . a rriovement: which has as
its watchword the uniting together of
all the great nations bordering on the
Pacific, which must be the great the-
ater of the co"mmerce of the world
"Perhaps the one. effort of the Pan
Pacific union more than any one other
to attract the attention of the Ameri
can foreign trade, tourist and traffic
men to the west Is our plan for a
pound-a-day; cruise jaround the Pacific,
which may begin at any time-at any
port on the hfg ocean.
Now Onfor Two Weeks
We expect to reduce one-third of our present stock, by means of an extraor-.
dinary- cut in prices on our entire stock.
We have a big stock of ODDS and ENDS and all of. them will be gold at 30
to 50 per cent discount. -; v ' . - -
This is a golden opportunity for. Holiday. Shoppers. - -
4 j L v f
"This tour, will perhaps be an impor
tant topic for discussion at the West
ern Tourist association 'convention at
Portland next March. The pound-a-day
tour promises' to become" a reality,
and this will mean inuch to Hawaii.
"San Francisco has taken up the
Pan-Pacific movement seriously, and
the clubs of that city - have joined
hands in furthering the work. Already
a handsome illustrated monthly called
launched and the daily newspapers
are devoting whole pages to the move
ment. - :-..vi..-.;':,.--
"More than 100 members of the San
Francisco Pan-Pacific club; attended
the luncheon at the. Palace' Hotel for
the visiting congressmen- More than
5000 delegates are expected at the Ad
club convention of the world at San
Francisco. Altogether .1 have found
ranch more interest In Hawaii and the
Pacific, than I really expected, and
everything points to a great growth
in the ran-Faciflc i
movement during
the next-year.1
Alexander Hume Ford ' is "some
pumpkins." To prove ; this the ; father
of the Pan-Pacific movement brought
with, him a 150-pound "eating" pump
kin from Santa Clara county. ;
Ford's exhibit captured the prize
at the San Francisco Land Show and
was called "Little Pan." The :! prize
pumpkin was " brought .'; over on tho
Matsonia. and occupied a very prom
inent position in the dining room. The
pumpkin will be used on; Thanksgiv
ing Day when Mr. Ford entertains for
a number of his friends at Laniakea.
Most Calls fop Assistance Come
From Portuguese, Says
New Charity Head -
Miss Lena R. Waters, who assumed
her duties in October as the new man
ager of Associated Charities, is an
enthusiast in her work, and very hope
ful about conditions here.
Everybody helps," said Miss Wa
ters. "Our work is greatly facilitated
by the assistance we get, not only
from organized charities, but from
other organizations and from individ
uals. , i '- Z':s, : - -
Naturally, much ot our help comei
from . Palama Settlement. Both Mr.
and Mrs. Rath, as well as their many
helpers, are" untiring in their work, f
Every, nationality helps, too. The
Chinese committee, which began last
January" to look after the Increasing
number of Impecunious poor among
the aged Chinese by providing them :
shelter and clothing while the Associ- '
ated Charities raised money to pur- i
chase food, continues its work with (
gratifying success. . There are many .
beggars among the Chinese, and tho ;
majority of them are really unable to
work. Since : we have; undertaken j
their care,; wit hthe help of the Chi- j
nese committee, enough money has ;
been raised to send several of them
to the hospital for treatment, and i
they have so far regained their health
as to be able now to help look out for
themselves. Yard work has been
found for a number of them, and they
have all proved satisfactory. We have ;
now ten Chinese men on the waiting I
list, and we should be very , glad to
see them secure . places where they
could no enough work to pay for their i
food and -shelter, -; We ask no wages
for them and they expect none. They I
are not gardeners. Very. few of them f
are trained to do any sort of -work, but j
they can act as watchmen, water
lawns, do a little weeding, and, some
of them would be good-dish washers
and kitchen helpers for light work. :
"With the Japanese population three j
times that of. any other people here, '
there are fewer calls for 'charity, fo?
Japanese than" for any other national- !
ity.r . ...-: . ;j
"Our heaviest 'calls come from the ;
Portuguese," said Misa Waters. "Next i
in the order come the Hawaiians, but
here we are greatly assisted by Mrs. j
Walter Macfarlane, president of the '
Sons and Daughters of Hawaii, which j
organization is now looking after all '
indigent Hawaiians brought to its at- -tention.
r -Vv" ;v ; :
"Next in the order demanding char- ;
ity are the Filipinos,, whose needs are i
constantly increasing, and 'next, I am ;
sorry to say, are the Americans them- ;
8elves,-who will let anybody take care
of their poor. Porto Ricans are fol
Jowedby .Koreans, with the Japanese
last of all,' only two calls being made T
last month for help, for Japanese. !
;IIss Waters is a pupil of Miss Mar-
giret Bergen, who reorganized the '
charities in Honolulu about two years ;
ago.; In addition to her studies with , i
Miss Bergen Miss Watery had two '
years with the Russell Sage charities,
and just before coming here was doing
social work in connection with Johns t
Hopkins University. In spite of her
eight years as a social worker she is
quite a yo3ng girl, if appearances
countfor anything. f ;
, "My work is almost wholly confined
to family rehabilitation, which means,"
Miss Waters explained, "providing, as
far as possible, family care for thoso
In need. .Wherever it can be arranged
the relatives of the needyone are en
couraged to provide for him until such
time as he may be able to provide for.
himself.". . ;- - ; '
'-'-- -. - i m "
Circuit Judge Edlngs of Maul ha?
taken under advisement the applica
tion of a Hindu to become an American
citizen. U. S. Attorney S. C. Huber
Went to the valley island recently to
confer with the circuit judge in the
matter. As far. as is known no Hinda
has ever been admitted to citizenship
In this territory. " v
tl ;
tt v
- f

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