Southern shield. [volume], May 15, 1852, Image 1

About Southern shield. [volume] (Helena, Ark.) 1840-1874

Image provided by: Arkansas State Archives

                
T H E
SOUTHERN SHIELD,
OFFICIAL PAPER
For Publishing the Laws of the United States,
PUBLISHED E VE 11 Y SATURDAY
BY UNDERWOOD 4- TAYLOR.
r m" a-: aa
0 F Si !r B S 0 R I P T ION:
<■2 50, if paid in advance—$3 if paid withii
Lv months—or $1 if not paid until six month
expires from the time of subscribing..
No subscription received for a less term that
iliree months.
No paper discontinued until all arrearage
;re paid up, unless at the option of the publisher.
Business Cards.
NEW & CHEAP
Produce k Grocery Stare
ON FRONT H 0 W, TWO DOORS AIIOVE TH
STORE OF II. I*. COOI.IDUE & CO.
T|jNIlE undersigned have just received an
are now opening a choice selection o
FAMILY fillOCEJiIES, and a large supplj
of PRODUCE, which they offer at Wholesah
or Retail, as cheap as can be afforded in till
market. They are determined to sell at a smal
profit, and thereby make quick sales;—am
ihev respectfully invite ail persons wishing an)
article in their line to give them a call be fori
purchasing elsewhere. It is their intention, i
possible, to keep a full supply of every artich
in the Produce and Grocery line needed in till
-market, and hope, by strict attentiotrto busi
ness, to merit and receive a share of public pat
ronage. S. II. RICE & CO.
Ile/aia, December G, 1851.
11. P. C'OOLIDGE.
JOHN FEARING
H. P, Cooiidge & Co.,
WHOLESALE & RETAIL DEALERS IN
Foreign and Domestic
DRY GOODS.
Diagonal Street, HELENA, ARK’S.
JAS. NORTON. JNO. T. FACKLER. W. F. MOORE
Norton, Fackler & Co.
Wholesale, and Retail Dealers in
Foreign & Domestic
S T * Jf B* JL E and £
DRY GOODS,
H E LENA, A RKANSAS.
Store.—The same occupied by Martin &
Norton, Main street, opposite the Court-houst
E. W. NEYILL & SON,
Receiving and Forwarding Merchants
Front Street, HELENA, Arks.
A L S O ,
Whoesaie k Retail Dealers
|N FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC Dry
Goods, Fancy do Ready Made Clothing
Hats, Caps, Shoes, Boots, and Bonnets; Hard
ware, Queensware, Cliinaware, Glassware ant
Cutlery; Paints, Oils, and Dye Stuffs; Bridle.'
and Saddlery; Castings and Nails; L.rocerie.
r.nd Provisions; Bagging and Rope, &c., &c.
N. B.— Cotton Stored and Shipped, free o
charge. October 5, 1S50.
F- F. HOWE IITON,
[Jones’ Old Stand.]
(General Denlrr,
PRODUCE k GROCERIES
trOULD say to his numerous customer!
that he is daily receiving fresh supplies
of Produce 4' (Groceries, which he is determinec
to sell very cheap for cash. His motto is, s
“quick penny is better than a slow shilling.’
Call and examine quality and prices.
January 25, 1851.
N E W
Wholesale and Retail
PRODUCE & GROCERY
TT « B D ±2 «
OA MAIN, \T THE CORNER OF KIGHTOR STR’t.,
HELEN A, ARK A NS AS.
THE subscriber has just opened a Produce
and Grocery establishment in Helena, and will
at all times keep bn hand a general assortment
of everything in his line, which will be sold at a
small advance on cost. Call in, and see the
most select stock of Groceries, and finest lot of
Wines and Liquors ever brought to this mar
ket. W. A. BALL.
November 15, 1851.
J. LEVY
fWViKES pleasure in announcing to his
friends and old customers, and the public
in general, that he has just received a new
stock of
FJLWjJL JVI.VTJER <£ftOIPS,
consisting of all sorts of Ready made Clothing,
Dry Goods, Woolen Goods, Hosiery; Hats
and Caps in great variety; his Boots and Shoes
are a complete assortment.
He has also received a fresh supply of
GROCERIES.
All of which he will sell at a very Small ad
vance above cost for cash—but cash only.
Helena, Nov. 1. 1851.
JOHN WILLIAMS,
COMMISSION MERCHANT.
87 Gravieu Street,
New Orleans.
MAP OF ARKANSAS.
ANGTREE’S new Sectional Map of Ar
kansas for sale at the publisher’s prices,
by (myl) HICKS & BUMPASS.
Helena Female Institute.
THE Spring- Session of this School com
menced on Monday the 1st day of March,
1852, under the care of the Misses Black.
TERMS PER SESSION OF FIVE MONTHS:
Spelling and Reading, - * $10 00
Spelling, Reading, Writing, and Primary
Arithmetic and Geography,
Higher Branches, -
Music on Piano, » • «- - 25 00
Voral Music, * - - - 3 00
Drawing and Mezzotint, each, - 10 00
Scholars charged from the time of entering,
an$ so deduction for absence or withdrawal
except in cases of protracted sickness.
Helena, March 0, 1852.
12 00
10 00
*/0\
Q. K. UNDERWOOD.
[“THE PEOPLE’S SAFETY IS THE SOVEREIGN LAW.”]
F. M. TAYLOR.
VOL. XIII.
HELENA, ARKS,, SATURDAY. MAY 15, 1852.
. t
NO. 6.
'"ini —an— . ilium n i i ' n iimmii ■ — ... i ——b———aggnegm—a—
Professional Cards,
JOHN C. PALMER. ALFRED H. HISE
, PALMER & HISE,
A T T O Ji N E Y S A T L A IV,
Helena, Arkansas.
They are likewise Commissioners to takeac
I knowledgemenU of Deeds, to administer oaths
f <fcc., fertile States of Tennessee, Mississippi
andJSmutucky.
; Dr. T. M, JACKS,
I * HAVING located himself permanently ir
I Helena, tenders his Professional services tc
* the citizens of the place and the people of the
, surrounding country.—Office in the room occu
C pied by Jackson <fe Underwood, as a law office
, where he will be found unless professionally en
. gaged from 8 to llv A. M. and from 2a till 5
P. M.; at other times at his residence in Wes;
_ I Helena.
lie will pay particular attention to the treat
ment of chronic diseases.
Helena, March 27, 1852.
J. s. DEPUTY. R. G. KINO
Sirs. I>Hr I T l’ Ar A7.1V;,
TENDER their Professional services to the
citizens of Helena and vicinity.
Office next doornorth of Deputy & Comfort’s
Feb. 14, ’51:
Drug Store.
CHARLES ADAMS.
JAS. T. MOORE.
. i i?. a ri s A' ,iio o is
A T T O 11 NEYS A 1’ L A W ,
HELENA, ARK'S.
T’H.L practice in all the Courts of the (irsl
Judicial Circuit, composed of the coun
ties of Green, Poinsett, St. Francis, Monroe,
Mississippi, Crittenden and Phillips.
Helena, April 19, 1851.
Hi. S'. WtJTTON,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
WILL attend to all business entrusted to his
care in the State of Arkansas and Western part
of the State of Mississippi, and will act as
LAND AGENT,
in payment of Taxes, investigating Titles, and
redeeming lands. Office at Helena, Arks.
January 31, 1852.
W.M. II. RINGO. DAVID BRUTON.
RIJt'GG A' ISSZS TO.1%
A TTORNEY S A T L \ W ,
ILL attend to all business entrusted to
their care in the State of Arkansas and
Western part of the 8 tale of Mississippi; and
will act as
LAND AGENTS
in payment of Taxes, investigating titles, and
redeeming lands. Office at Ilcdena, Arks.
October 18, 1851.
B. H. NEELY. O. 'V. BEAZLF.Y.
NEEL Y &. BE A SL Y,
A T T O it N E Y S A T L A W ,
MOUNT VERNON, St. Francis Co., Arks.
DENTISTRY
|FWR. NORMAN having resumed his Profes
sion, offers his services to the public. All
operations warranted.
Office one door south of II. P. Coolidge &i
Co’s. [Helena, July 26, 1851.
JOHN PRESTON, JR. JAS. C. TAPPAN.
M* nils TO A' A• T.il'JM.V,
Attorneys at Law,
HELENA, ARK'S.
January 3, 1852.
JAS. B. JACKSON. A. O. UNDERWOOD.
JACKSON UNDERWOOD,
Attorneys and Counselors at Laic,
Helena, Arkansas.
’SJS/’ILL practice in the several counties com
posing the first Judicial Circuit of the
State, and in the Supreme and Federal Courts,
at Little Rock, and also, in the Circuit Courts of
Coahoma and Tunica counties, Mississippi.
August 16, 1851.—18-ly.
B. LEWIS,
Clinton.
JAS. A. SCOTT, J,
Batesville.
LEWIS & SCOTT,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
/"ILL diligently attend to all business con
fided to their care in the counties of
Van Buren, Searcy, and White, in the third
Judicial circuit. July, 1851.
. T3tt
Dr. Or. H. Thornhill
WILL attend to all duties incident to his
Profession. OlTice next door to the Post-office.
Helena, Dec. 13, 1851.
Til OS. J. BLACKMORE,
.Attorney at Law V General Land .A,scent,
J ILL attend promptly to all business en
trusted to his care, througout the State.
Office at Osceola, Arkansas. May 25.
J. A. LOVE JOY,
.Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
MARION, Crittenden co., Arks.
ALSO, General Land Agent in the transac
on of all business connected with lands.
May 25.
s. »7s. *n'cunn\\
A T T O II N E Y AT LA W,
MOUNT VERNON, St. Francis Co., .Arks.
Il'm. II. SEEt'ISTI+W,
.ATTORNEY .AT LAW,
HELENA. ARKANSAS.
albert pike,
ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
LITTLE ROCK. ARKANSAS.
JUST RECEIVED.
ON CONSIGNMENT fifteen thousand lbs.
of good country Bacon, for sale by
rny I E. W. N E VILL & SON,
S* (*) ^ Q Si L? &
LEU A LREY.
The tassels wave upon the birch,
The maple blushes o’er the stream,
And through the oriei ot the church.
I see the May-moon’s yellow beam.
Oh here, upon this moss-grown wall,
Another year, another May,
I saw this same sweet moonlight fall
On me and Leila Grey !
Cold lay her languid hand in mine,
Pale, pale her face beside me shone;
‘SweetLeila Grey, as I am thine
Say, say that thou art all mine own! ’
She smiled—she sighed—‘ Behold,’ she said
•Where from the church tower darkly throwr
The shadow of the cross lies’spread
By yon sepulchral stone.
• There, ere the May-moon comes again,
The hand that presses thine will lie ;
Before the reaper cuts the grain,
The death-mist will o’ercloud my eye.
But oh, dear Willie, do not weep,
For I am v/eary, weary here !
And fain beneath yon cross would sleep,
Before another year !
* But when another May returns,
Aiul through the oriel of the church,
The golden moonlight dimly burns, -
And lights the tassels of the birch ;
| When yonder maple by the tower.
Stands blushing like a virgin bride,
j Oh come, dear Willie, at this hour,
And seat thee by my side !’
* Sweet Leila, I obey thy call.
The May-moonlights the tasselled birch,
And I, upon the moss-grown wall,
Am sitting near the gray old church ;
The shadow of the cross is thrown,
Where gleams a marble tablet now—
’Twas all the same twelve months agone—
But, Leila, where art thou ? ’
HASTY WORDS.
full oft a word that lightly leaves the tongue,
Another's breast unconsciously lias wrung:
And were the wound but patent to the eye.
We’d mourn the pain that solace might defy.
Wi. its MUPl p- .hsi'i n tiiouglillM*j«lt.
An idie ripple of the vacant breast"!
Kut tiny snubs may yield a venorned death,
What need to speed them but a little breath.
The Bushman thus secures inglorious prey;
And words can men, as darts the ostrich slay:
fetrunge! that the breath providing nature lends,
In man alone to work of ruin tends.
We toy with hearts, as if the thousand cords
That \ ibrate to the touch of hasty words,
Could jar out discord all the live-long day,
A’ot any tension cause them to give way.
Oh, strike them gently ! every human breast
Is by a secret load of grief opprest;
Forbear to add a note of timeless woe,
Where discords ever ate so prone to flow.
Fastidiousness Illustrated.— Hans
Christian Anderson lias given us one of his
shrewd little stories in point.
There was once a Prince of great honor
and renown, who wished to marry a real
Princess. Many persons calling themselves
princesses had been ottered for this dignity,
but there was always something about the
ladies which made him doubtful of their
claim to the title. So not being able to
satisfy his fastidiousness on this point, he
remained for a long time undecided.
One night, during a tremendous storm, a
young lady came to the door and requested
admittance, saying that she was a real
princess. She was in a most pitiable con
dition—draggled from head to foot, with
the rain pouringin torrents from herdishev
elled locks; she looked forlorn enough for a
beggar. But the prince would not prejudge
her ; he invited her to spend the night, and
in the meantime his mother devised a plan
by which to ascertain whether her preten
sions were genuine. On the place where
the princess was to sleep she put three small
peas, and on the top of them twenty mat
trasses, covering these again with twenty
feather beds. Upon this luxurious couch
the supposed princess retired to rest, and in
the morning she was asked how sh© hurl
passed the night.
‘•‘Oh, most wretchedly!” she replied;
“there was something hard in my bed,
which distressed me extremely, and has
bruised me all over black and blue !”
Then they knew that her pretensions
were not false, for none but a real princess
could have possessed sufficient delicacy of
perception to feel three little peas under
twenty mattrasses and twenty featherbeds.
The Great Northwest.—It has been
computed that the Northwest Territory,
belonging to the United States, and now
without white inhabitants, if as densely pop
ulated as Belgium, would support over one
hundred and ninety-seven inillions of souls !
Here is food for thought No one here has
any adequate conception of the immense
tract of country above us yet to be inhab
ited. From the rich quality of its soil,
good water and the most invigorating cli
mate, it must some day be fiilled with peo
ple possessing the highest grade of civiliza
tion.— Galena Advertiser.
iXj3 The Baltimore Clipper says: A cor
respondent asked why marriages and death
notices should be paid for? For the very
best of reasons—one is an advertisement of
j co-partnership, and the other is a notice of
' dissolution, Businest is business.”
Correspondence of the Louisville Couriv r.
Kossuth in Washington.
Washington, April 23, 1S52.
Mr. Editor.—Reminiscence is often in:
truotive, and contrast is not always odioi
—let me indulge a little therein, while th
politicians are exhibiting “high and lott
tumblin' ” at the capitol.
Ger. Eufayctte, who contributed largel
and assisted heroiclv in obtaining an lnd<
pendence, came to this country afterward:
as the Nation’s Guest, and in a Nations
ship sent for him. Most richly deservin:
the enduring gratitude of the America
people, he was everywhere greeted wit
the most enthusiastic demonstration of pop
ular regard, lie came to Washingtor
was formally introduced to both Houses c
Congress, and the most appropriate courte
, sies and liberal hospitalities were official!
paid him. But the archives of the natioi
contain no tavern bills for entertaining bin
and Ins suite, nor any evidence that a dolla
of the public money was paid for his reeep
tion and entertainment while at the Na
tional Capitol.
Gov. Kossuth was not invited here as tin
Nation’s Guest—but this country was ten
dered to him and his assciates, as an asvlun
—a home. He came, and surrounding hint
self with kingly formalities and military
guards of Honor, proclaimed himself spe
cially commissioned to emancipate and re
deem ‘down trodden humanity’ everywhen
and in Hungary particularly. Hepronounc
ed most eloquently in favor of “liberty
equality and fraternity,” and was at tin
same time attended and followed by a re
gal retinue of servile attendants. He be
came a “stated preacher” of morality an<
religion in churches, and was called by hi
j woshippers a “second savior,” and at 1I11
same time declared that war was a vert
harmless tiling—only a little word of thre'i
letters—w-a-r. He discoursed upon puli
tics, oracularly, and expounded our Consti
tution and explained the theory and polict
of our institutions, as one having authority
and 71 civ light.
This truly eloquent and ardent enthusi
ast, whom his associates and confidents
i ministers accuse of abandoning his countri
i and his country’s flag, after surrenderin'
j both to a man he had denounced as a des
pot and traitor, came to the national capi
tal with las suite and retinue, and “put up’
; at Brown's Hotel. He remained here thir
j teen days, and the Senate voted to pav hi:
i tavern bill out of the People’s money, placet
in their charge as a “contingent fund.”
On the 12th day of March, in the year ol
Grace IKVJ, the Messrs. Brown’s presented
tfie U. S. Senate their tavern bill against
j Gov. Kossuth and suite; it was paid, and
j being paid out of the Public Treasury, the
! people have the right to know the amount
j and items—and here is true copy of
Kossuth’s Tavern Bill.
To Board Gov. Kossuth and suite,
having 10 parlors and 22 cham
bers—23 persons, 13 clays..$3,588 00
Sundries.
Champaign, Sherry, Maderia, post
age, Medicine, post-office stamps,
porterage, messengers, hack hire,
telegraphs, sugar, brandy and
whiskey at room, porter and ale,
envelops, Barber’s bill—in all-- $658 82
Bill for carriages employed for the
Gov. aud suite - -- -- -- -- - - - 8319 00
Total.$4,565 82
Here is $270 a day for board arid lodging
—$50 a day for “sugar, brandy and whis
ky in room,” &c., and $25 a day lorJiack
hire, for 23 persons, counting men, women
and servants, during thirteen days!
OTEGO.
Editorial Life and Labor.— I here is
much truth in the following from the N. Y.
Mirror:
“►Some of the brotherhood are discusss
in-r the question whether the editos’s labor
is a pleasure or a pain. The majority take
the latter view. One trial the faithful edi
tor certainly has—the world of information
which opens upon him overwhelmingly.—
lie is eager to know, and the means of
Knowledge are at hand; but he has only the
acquiring power of one man. llis twenty
four hours per day do not suffice for what
he would accomplish. Some temperaments
sutler more than others in this way, hut
the trial is a real one to every active mind
employed in editorial labors.”
Give your Child a Paper.—A child be
ginning to read becomes delighted with a
newspaper, because he reads the names of
things which are very familiar, and will
make progress accordingly. A newspaper
in one year is worth a quarter’s schooling
to a child; and every father must consider
that substantial information is connected
with advancement. The mother of a fam
ily, being one of the heads, and having 2
more immediate charge Jof the children
should herself be instructed. Any mind oc
cupied, becomes fortified against the ills o
life, and is braced for any emergency.—
Children amused by reading or study are, ol
course, more considerate and more easily
governed. How many parents, who have
not spent twenty dollars for books for then
families, would have given hundreds to re
claim a son or daughter who had thought
lessly or heedlessly fallen into temptation
PunclTsayTui^^ is in ac*'V£
treatv for the purchase of the “House that
Jack built.”
A Humorous Letter—Telling the Truth.
e
y
v
I
Way up in the “Northern country,” be
tween New York and the Canada line, then
are several gentlemen living upon estate
owned by them. A friend of one of tht
gentlemen, wrote to liim from New York
city, making inquiries with a view’ to -‘etni
illation,” if the information received was
agree/, jle. The Burlington (Vt.)
l’ress publishes the reply, which represent;
this undiscovered country a second Bulah
The reply is as follows:
1 --. Feb. 29th, 1S52.
i Dear Sir:—Yours of the 20th is receiv
. ed, and 1 hasten to give you the information
, desired for the benefit of your friend, as fob
f lows:
The soil, when you can get it, is compos
/ ed principally of Conglomerate, viz: a mix
i ture ot muck, moss, decayed fern leaves,
, paving stones and snow,
r The face of the country, when not cov
. ered with snow is covered with a growth ol
. Hemlock, Tamarac, and Cedar timber, ex
cept those portions which the enterprise ol
. former years has attempted to clear—these
. are covered with stumps, rocks, fallen trees
i alder bushes and brambles.
The fruits are various, compromising
. most of the species found in high latitudes,
. such as chokecherries, mooseberrv, whortle
. I berry and black raspberry, the latter in
. great abundance and perfection.
Among the game is to be found the do
mestic fowl, the swallow, crow and bluejav
. and in midsummer, the nighthawk and
screech owl.
The animals hunted for their fur, are the
I cat, the chipmunk, the stray dogs; those
. chiefly esteemed for their flesh, are the
, muskrat, skunk and woodchuck.
, The fishes embrace a great variety, from
, the tadpole to the bullpout; the sucker is
salted down for winter use.
The principal articles of consumption,
, are pork, white beans, apple sauce and rve
. whiskey.
The principal articles of import are dried
apples, buffalo coats, tea, tobacco, cotton
I doth, molasses, bogus cigars, and spoilt oys
. ters.
, The articles of export are few, being on
’ ly such things as they don’t want them
selves. The principal are, convicts to the
i Auburn and Sing Sing prisons, and emi
,t grants to California.
. The chief productions are white headed
children which in time grow to be lumber
men, pedlars, deacons, squires, politicians
• and rogues.
Their means of getting a living are in
genious and varied—the most ostensible,
however, is “dickering,” at which they are
very expert, swapping horses, trading cat
tle, and getting boot.
Their chief amusements in winter are
keeping up a fire, watching the weather,
going to funerals, whittling and breaking
steers—in summer these are varied, by get
ting out manure, hoeing corn, acting as
scare-crows, and getting “down sick,” eat
ing green apples.
The range of domestic duties is confined
altogether to chance and the “women folks.”
Their principal business is an impertinent
interference in other people’s affairs, to the
entire neglect of their own, exaggerating
evil reports, throwing obstacles in the way
of public improvements, talking politics,
and doing chores. The young leave their
paternal roof at a tender age and commence
on their own hook, peddling pop-corn, gin
ger-bread and molasses candy.
The climate is a cross between Lapland
and Siberia, not as cold as one and a good
deal colder than the other, but healthy.—
The principal diseases are lame stomach,
delirium tremens, and “folks is sick.”
The articles of luxury, most esteemed,
are salt codfish, dried pumpkins, and woolen
trow ns.
The articles of furniture are a cooking
tore, mop pail, and wash dish.
Their farming implements, consist ot an
axe, a saw, a log chain, generally hooked,
and a jack knife.
Their education is confined to writing
their name, guessing off hogs, making axe
helves.
Their moral and religious ideas, are vague
and loose.
-They generally live to a green old age
and die as green as they lived.
Their principal places of resort, are the
platforms of railroad depots, bar-rooms, jus
tices’ courts, and the public and private ofii
! ces, where they have no business.
Their habits are predatory and migratory.
If your friend is a bachelor, it may be in
teresting to him to know, that the females
(with a few exceptions) have no front teeth,
, but their eve teeth are cut early, and are
sharp and well developed. If there are anv
! points not touched upon likely to influence
j him in the choice of a residence, hope you
! will have no hesitation in asking further en
' lightenment.
Yours, ever, &c., <5cc.
DC/3 A fellow of a philosophic turn of
mind, who.was kicked down stairs the other
‘day, went home and wrote an eulogy on
leather!
DC/3 An elderly bookseller in Paris, one
of the oldest fashioned routine school, on
being asked the other day for the “ New
French Constitution,” replied that “ ho did
not sell periodicals.”
TERMS OF ADVERTISING.
Forasquare of 10 lines, firstinsertion, - SI CO
For each subsequent insertion, 50
Any number of lines under ten, counted as
one square,—over 10 and under 20, countedas
two squares,and advertisements ofgreater length
in like proportion.
Liberal deductions will be made to those who
advertise by the year.
Announcing candidates for State offices, $10 CO
“ “ District “ - 7 00
“ “ county, “ - 5 00
“ “ township, “ - 3 00
i Communications of a personal nature will be
charged double price. [Payment in advance.’]
JOB WORK of every description executed
in the best style and at reasonable prices.
F. R. S.
; Not many years since there flourished
] in one of the Southern cities, on the Atlan
i tic coast, a certain original, eccentric indi
| vidual, whose sole occupation was the pur
j suit of the oyster trade, of course, under
j difficulties. It was on a grand scale, and
'“Old Shell,” as he was nicknamed, was a
pr:me fa» write with all the young bucks,
: by staring blades, and last men about tu.v.i.
He was a passionate admirer of oysters«hi
every shape. Ilis food was almost exclu
sively oysters. He bet on oysters, lie
studied oysters. In fine, he was emphati
cally an oyster-man.
“Old Shell” one summer took into his
head that a trip to the North would be of
advantage to bis health, moral and physical.
To resolve to do anything and to do it, was
with him one and the same tiling. Ho
went!
On arriving in New York he put up at a
fashionable hotel; and as be was a tall, fine
looking man, dressed well, and spent his
j money freely, he soon became almost as
much a favorite in the North as he was in
the South.
There was one thing about him, howev
er, that puzzled every one. On the hotel
j book of arrivals his name was entered in
| full, with the following capital letters in
I large sprawling hand, attached: F. R. S.
On his cards the same' mysterious letters
appeared: “ Mr. So-and-So, of such a city,
F. R. S.” He never would explain their
meaning,and great, of course, was the small
talk and chit-chat about it. The “gossip
market” rose above par in the course of
three days.
One morning, a newly-come English gen
tlemen, of middle age and grave aspect,
was looking over the list of arrivals. He
was struck by the mysterious letters as ev
ery one else had been. “ F. R. S.” mutter
ed he; “it can’t be! Yet there the letters
are. Who would have thought it? ” The
clerk was called up and requested to ex
plain. He knew nothing more than that
J one of the boarders and lodgers had put his
I name down with that handle attached.
| “ Show him to me ! ” said the Englishman
eagerly.
“ There he goes now, sir!” said the cleric
pointing to our hero.
The fText moment “Old Shell” felt his
| hand grasped by another hand, whilst his
'arm went through a rapid and vigorous
motion, familiarly known as the “pump
handle action.” It was the Englishman;
his face beaming with cordiality.
“Delighted to meet you, sir. Had not
the slightest idea of seeing one of our Soci
ety on this side of the water ! When were
you a member? My memorv is so defec
tive-”
“ Member of what ? ” said “ Old Shell, ”
halt' surprised, half angry.
“Oh, don’t be so modest, my dear sir! ”
“ .Modest, the deuce ! What Society ? ”
“No bashfulness, now! You are a Fel
low, I know.”
“Blast my buttons, stranger!” exclaim
ed “Shell,” “ do you call me a fellow ?”
“ Fellow of the Royal Society, sir. You
mistake my meaning. Fellow of the Royal
Society of London ! ”
“I’m no Londoner, man; I come from
down South, / do! 1 am an oysterman, l
am! ”
“ Why, what on earth does F. R. S. mean
then, attached to your name ? ” said the as
tonished Englishman, science and surprise
beaming from his countenance.
“ Well, stranger, I don’t care if I do tell
you! You see, I like oysters, I do; and
F. R. S. means adzackly nothing more nor
less than Ft icd, Roasted and Steived ! ”
We do not think this veracious anecdote
has ever been published before.—N. O. Fic.
What I have never Known.
I have never known a poor man to obtain
a premium at a Fair where there was a rich
man to compete with him.
I have never known a naturally dishonest
man to become morally honest by becom
ing a church member.
J have never known a really poor man
elevated to an important office, let his intel
lect be ever so brilliant.
1 have never known a minister of tho
gospel to be called from a high to a low
salary.
1 have never known a poor man respect
ed because he was poor.
I have never known a rich man but what
was respected for his riches.
1 have never known a merchant to con
tinue his conversation with a poor man,
when a rich man entered the store.
I have never known a white-handed,
hairy-faced office hunter to bo very conver
sant with a poor man after election.
I have nevei known a man to admit any
body to be better than himself.
1 have never known a man to be better
than he should be..
1 have never known a man strictly and
morally iionest to become rich by his own.
daily labor.
1 have never known a fashion too ridicu
lous to be followed.
1 have never known a system of religion
too absurd to find followers.
J have never known a political abolition
ist that would put a negro into Ids best bed.
1 have never known tiie order of nature
reveised to please every man.
I have never knowu a minister of the
gospel that hated the women.