The Indianapolis times. [volume], September 11, 1929, Home Edition, Second Section, Page PAGE 16, Image 16

About The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965

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PAGE 16
MX QUltr ONMftWOIfW BKWTfrffiS
CHAPTER XIX (Continued)
He produces reasons why we must
have them and la quite Inflexible
until at last the others give in to
him. Then he begins to expouryj
Just whereabout in France she
break-through must come, and
turns to me: “Now, shove ahead a
bit out there with your everlasting
trench warfare-*smash through the
Johnnies and then there will be
peace.”
I reply that in our opinion a
break-through may not be possible.
The enemy may have too many re
serves. Besides, the war may be
rather different from what people
think. He dismisses the idea loftily
and Informs me I know nothing
about it. “The details, yes,” says
he, "but this relates to the whole.
And of that you are not able to
judge. You see only your little sec
tor and so can not have any gen
eral survey.
“You do your duty, you risk your
lives, that deserves the highest hon
or—every man of you ought to have
the Iron Cross —but first of all the
enemy line must be broken through
in Flanders and then rolled up from
the top.”
He blows his noise and wipes his
beard. “Completely rolled up they
must be, from the top to the bot
tom. And then to Paris.”
I would like to know just how he
pictures it to himself, and pour the
third glass of beer into me. Im
mediately he orders another.
But I break away. He stuffs a
few more cigars into my pocket
and sends me off with a friendly
slap. “All of the best! I hope we
will soon hear something worth while
from you.”
I imagined leave would be dif
ferent from this. Indeed, it was
different a year ago. It is I, of
course, that have changed in the
Interval. There lies a gulf between
that time and today.
At that time I still knew nothing
about the war, we had been only
in quiet sectors. But now I see that
I have been crushed without know
ing it. I find I do not belong here
any more: it is a foreign world.
Some of these people ask ques
tions, some ask no questions, but
one can see that they are quite con
fident they know all about it; they
often say so with their air of com- j
prehension, so there is no point in
discussing it. They make up a pic- ;
ture of it for themselves.
I prefer to be alone, so that no
One troubles me. For they all come
back to the same thing, how badly
it goes and how r well it goes; one
thinks it is this way. another that;
and they are always absorbed in the
things that go to make up their own
existence.
Formerly I lived in just the same
Way myself, but now I feel no con
tact here any longer.
They talk to me too much. They
have worries, aims, desires, that I
can not comprehend. I often sit
with one of them in the little beer
garden and try to explain to him
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1 that this really Is the only thing;
| just to sit quietly, like this.
They understand, of course, they
agree, they may even feel it so, too,
but only with words, only with
i words, yes. that is it—they feel it,
but always with only half of them
j selves, the rest of their being is ta
; ken up with other things, they are
so divided in themselves that none
i feels it with his whole essence; I
can not even say myself exactly
what I mean.
When I see them here, in their
rooms, in their offices, about their
occupations, I feel an irresistible at
traction in it, I would like to be here,
too, and forget the war; but also it
repels me, it is so narrow, how can
that fill a man’s life, we ought to
smash it to bits; how can they do it,
I while out at the front the splinters
are whining over the shell holes
and" the star shells go up; the
wounded are carried back on water
proof sheets and comrades crouch
in the trenches.
They are different men here, men
I can not properly understand,
whom I envy and despise. I must
think of Kat and Albert and Muller
and Tjaden, what will they be doing?
No doubt they are sitting in the
canteen, or perhaps swimming
soon they will have to go up to the
front line again.
a tt a
In my room behind the table
stands a brown leather sofa. I sit
down on it.
On the walls are pasted countless
pictures that I once used to cut out
of the newspapers. Between are
drawings and postcards that have
come my way. In the comer is a
small iron stove. Against the wall
opposite stand the book shelves with
my books.
I used to live in this room before
I was a soldier. The books I bought
gradually with money I earned by
coaching. Many of them are second
hand, all the classics for example,
one volume in blue cloth boards
cost one mark twenty pfennig.
I bought them complete because I
was thoroughgoing. I did not trust
the editors of selections, even though
they may have chosen all the best.
So I purchased only “collected
works.” I read most of them with
laudable zeal, but few of them real
ly appealed to me.
I preferred the other books, the
moderns, which were of course much
dearer. A few I came by not quite
honestly, I borrowed and did not
return them, because I did not want ,
to part with them.
One shelf is filled with school
books. They are not so well cared ;
for, they are badly thumbed, and
pages have been torn out for cer- ,
tain purposes. Then below are pe
riodicals, papers, and letters all
jammed in together with drawings
and rough sketches.
I want to think myself back into ;
that time. It still is in the room. j
I feel it at once, the walls have pre- i
served it. My hands rest on the j
arms of the soft; now I make my- !
self at home and draw up my legs
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so that I sit comfortably in the cor
ner, in the arms of the sofa.
The little window Is open, through
It T see the familiar picture of the
street with the rising spire of the
church at the end. There are a
! couple of flowers on the table. Pen
holders, a shell as a paper-weight,
the inkwell—here nothing is
changed. *
It will be like this too, if I am
lucky, when the war is over and I
ccme back here for good. I will
sit here just like and look at
my room and wait.
I feel excited; but I do not want
to be, for that is not right* I want
that quiet rapture again. I want
to feel the same powerful, nameless
urge that I used to feel when I
turned to my books.
The breath of desire that then
arose from the colored backs of the
books shall fill me again, melt tha
heavy, dead lump of lead that lies
somewhere in me and waken again
the impatience of the future, the
quick joy in the world of thought,
it shall bring back again the lost
eagerness of my youth. I sit and
wait.
It occurs to me that I must go
and see Kemmerich’s mother; I
might visit Mittelsteadt too, he
should be at the barracks. I look
out of the window; beyond the sober
picture of the street appears a range
of hills, distant and light; it
changes to a clear day in autumn,
and I sit by the fire with Kat and
Albert and eat potatoes baked in
their skins.
But I do not want to think of
that, I sweep it away. The room
shall speak, it must catch „me up
and hold me, I want to feel that I
belong here, I want to hearken and
know when I go back to the front
that the war will sink down, be
drowned utterly in the great home
coming tide, know that it will then
be past for ever, and not gnaw us
continually, that it will have none
but an outward power over us.
The backs of the books stand in
rows. I know them all still, I re
member arranging them in order.
I implore them with my eyes: Speak
to me—take me up—take me. Life
of my Youth —you who are carefree,
beautiful —receive me again—
I wait, I wait.
Images float through .my mind,
but they do not grip me, they are
mere shadows and memories.
Nothing—nothing—
My disquietude grows.
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A terrible feeling of foreignness
suddenly rises up in me. I can not
find my way back, I am shut out
though 1 entreat earnestly and put
forth all my strength.
Nothing stirs; listless and wretch
ed, like a condemned man, I sit
there and the past withdraws itself.
And at the same time I fear to im
portune it too much, because I do
not know what might happen then,
I am a soldier, I must cling to that.
Wearily I stand up and look out
of the window. Then I take one of
the books, intending to read, and
turn over the leaves.
There are passages in it that have
been marked, I look, turn over the
pages, take up fresh books. Already
they are piled up beside me. Speedily
more join the heap, papers, maga
zines, letters.
I stand there dumb As before a
judge.
Words, Words, Words they do
not reach me.
Slowly I place the books J>ack in
the selves.
Nevermore.
Quietly, I got out of the room.
CHAPTER XX
STILL I do not give up hope. I do
not, indeed, go to my room any
more, but comfort myself with the
thought that a few days are not
enough to judge by. Afterwards
later on there is plenty of time
for that.
So I go over to see Mittelstaedt in
the barracks, and we sat in his room
—there is an atmosphere about it
that I do not like, but with which
I am quite familiar.
Mittelstaedt has some news ready
for me that electrifies me on the
spot. He tglls me Kantorek has been
called up as a territorial.
“Just think of it,” says he, and
takes out a couple of good cigars. “I
come back here from the hospital
and bump right into him. He
stretches out his paw to me and
bleats, “Hullo Mittelstaedt, how are
you?’—l look at him and say: ‘Ter
ritorial Kantorek, business is busi
ness, and schnapps is schnapps, you
ought to know that well enough
yourself.”
“Stand to attention when you
speak to a superior officer. You
should have seen his face. A cross
between a dud and a pickled cucum
ber. He tried once again to chum i
up. So I snubbed him a bit harder.
Then he brought up his biggest
guns and asked confidentially:
‘Would you like me to use my in-
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fluence so that you can take an
emergency-exam?’ He was trying to
remind me of those things, you
know.
“Then I got mad and I reminded
him of something instead. ’Terri
torial Kantorek, two years ago you
preached us into enlisting; and
among us there was one, Joseph
Behm, who didn’t want to enlist. He
was killed three months before he
would have been called up in the
ordinary way. If it had not been for
you he would have lived just that
much longer. And now, dismiss. You
will hear from me later.’
“It was easy to get put in charge
of his company. First thing I did
was to take him to the stores and
flt him out with a suitable equip
ment. You will see in a minute.”
We go out to the parade ground.
The company has fallen in. Mittel
staedt stands them at ease and in
spects.
Then I see Kantorek and am
scarcely able to stifle my laughter.
He is wearing a faded blue tunic.
On the back and in the sleeves
(.here are big dark patches. The
overcoat must have belonged to a.
giant.
The black, worn breeches are just
rs much too short; they reach bare
ly halfway down his calf. The boots,
tough old clod hoppers, with turned
up toes and laces at the side, are
much too big for him.
But as a compensation the cap
is too small, a terribly dirty, mean
little pill box. The whole rig-out is
Just pitiful.
Mittelstaedt stops in front of
him: “Territorial Kantorek, do you
call those buttons polished? You
seem as if you can never learn. In
adequate, Kantorek, quite inade
quate—”
It makes me bubble with glee. In
school Kantorek used to chasten
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Mittelstaedt with exactly the same
expression
staedt, quite inadequate.”
Mittelstaedt continues to upraid
him, "Look at Boettcher, now
there’s a model for you to learn
from.”
I can hardly believe my eyes.
Boettcher is there too. Boettcher,
our school porter. And he is a
model!
Kantorek shoots a glance at me
as if he would like to eat me. But I
grin at him innocently, as though
I do not recognize him any more.
Nothing could look more ludicrous
than his forage-cap and his uni
form. And this is the object before
whom we used to stanCTin anguish,
as he sat up there, enthroned at his
desk, spearing at us with his pencil
for our mistakes in those irregu
lar French verbs with which after
wards we made so little headway in
France.
That is barely two years ago—and
now here stands Territorial Kan-
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(To Be Continued)
Copyright 1929. by Little, Brown & 00..
Distributed bv King Features Syndicate. Inc
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