St. Tammany farmer. [volume], May 03, 1919, Section One, Image 1

About St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current

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TILE ST. TAWIANY FAMER,
On S).al. Eiery Saturdayeat Ta Farm er
The St. Tammany Farmer SECTION ONE
D. H.. MASON, Editor COVINGTON, LA., SATURDAY, MAY 3, 1919. VOL. 45 No. 24
EXCURSIONS ONI
N. 0. G. N. TO
COVINGTON
PUT ON
President Warner of the As
sociation of Commerce
Gets Busy.
N. 0. G. N. RECONSIDERS
DECIDES TO RUN THEM
McMahon Telegraphs That
Excursions Will Be
Run Tomorrow.
i President J. H. Warner, of the
Covington Association of Commerce,
took up the mat:er of excursions to
Covington over the N. O. G. N. as
soon as it was reported they were
not to be put on, notwithstanding
other roads were pu:ting them on.
When the matter was put before the
officials and the injustice to both
Covington and New Orleans was
pointed out, the mat:er was recon
sidered. The following telegramt
from Traffic Manager ,M. J. McMahon r
will be read with pleasure and relief E
by the people of St. Tammany parish:
Hattiesburg, Miss.. April 30.
St. Tammany Farmer, Covington: t
Commencing Sunday, .May 4th,
Sunday excursion will be operated
from New Orleans to Shore Line,
pain's. Train leaves New Orleans
7:45 a. m., returning arrive New Or
leans 7:53 p. m. Excursion New
Orleans to Ramsay, inclusive, $1.30; d
Ramsay to Folsom, $1.63. This in
cludes war tax. c
M. J. McMAHON.
The excursion train will leave Cov- c
ington on the return trip about 4:45 a
p. m. from the Covington station. ti
O a
PREST-O)-,ITE WVEIA)IN( AT PAUL c
VE RGEZ.
iMr. Paul Vergez, the blacksmith
and wheelwright of Covington, has tl
installed the Prest-O-Lte system of e,
Welding. This is the modern, up-to- p4
date method of welding, by which ti
oxygen and acetylene is united to tc
produce heat that will quickly, solid- ir
ly and without waste join broken vi
shafts, axles or other pieces of metal pl
without weakening them 'in any part. cc
Thousands of dollars may be saved sc
to the people of St. Tammany parish.
Wheels, cylinders, castings, boilers,
in fact any metal part may be mend- tb
ed efficiently and instantly and motor la
machinery may 'be freed of carbon. yE
There is no necessity for sending re
away for new parts to machinery in
that is broken. Mr. Vergez can fix th
them for you in shbrt order. te
This new Prest-O-Lite machine br
may be seen at the shop of Mr. Ver- of
gez, in Covington, and he will take it
pleasure in expl ining its manner of ch
working. .Mr. Vergez is ,keeping up te
with scientific developments in his
business. These are the things that
push Covington to the front and
make it known as a town where they
do things. of
-0
NXF.RO SHOOTS ANOTHER. 1.
,Bob Bell, colored, shot and seri
ously wounded Joe Lewis, also col
ored, the weapon being a .38 special. O`
The shooting occurred on 28th
avenue in Covington, Wednesday vil
morning. The bullet entered Lewis' th
thigh, badly shattering the 'bone. ci
Dr. Bulloch dressed the wound and 2
sent Lewis to the hospital in New
Orleans. ne
Ch
Another shooting occurred at barn
six, near Abita, in whch Sam Turner co
shot and seriously wounded Alonzo
Blackwell, both colored. A woman to
is said to be the cause of the quarrel. lea
---0--
'"I)EVII, l!I)S" VS. lACY'S.
ha:
The "DeI)vil Dogs," Covington base- gol
ball team, will play the Lacy's. of cel
'ew Orleans. Sunday. May 4th, at Be
St. Paul's Park. at 2 p. m. Admnis
sion to th' g.ame will be, adults, 23c;
children. 1 ,; war tax included.
----4)--
IIIA.)D WILL TELL. no;
Thb
Nine White Leghorn Cockerels of
hatched from ,,ggs shipped direct to hec
Witchwood Farms from George B. lan
FPrris, of crrand Rapids. Mich. 23() tle
to 264 egg strain. will be on exhib;- dra
tlon at Hebert's Grocery Store. Cov- tat'
ington. to-day. Price $2.5) each. A the
rare chlianc. See adverltisement on G
Page 3, this sco:iono.
0I hu
POtIC. .I'i' RY TI) ME'TI AS ll)AI.I hel
Ot, lIt11 EWEII." dis.
CoVinntcon. La., April 17. 1919.
The P'olice Jury will mon on th'ebir
irst Monday in .M1y S(th), 1919. : cas
I Board of Re.l;ewers. lux
F. .1. MARTINDALE, ret i
apl9-3i Secretary. fro
SEDUCATIONLAW
NOT ENFORCED
SUPT. LYON
ASSERTS
3-ISupt. Lyon Answers "Tax
Payer's" Inquiry Why
Children are Absent.
NO INDICTMENTS
FOUND BY JURY
School Board Member H. W.
Woodruff Also Makes
Comment on Subject
e Covington, La.. May 1, 1919.
Editor St. Tamhnany Farmer:
0 Dear Sir:-While I must always
decline to enter into any newspaper
e controversy, still I feel that I must
g ask for space enough in the columns
of you rpaper to answer briefly the
letter fromn "Tax Payer" a )pearing
e in your issue of April 26th. The
h writer of this article is absolutely
s correct in what he states regarding
the bad effects upon the schools by
not having the compulsory school at
tendance law enforced. If you will
a refer to my report to the Parish
f School Board at their last regular
meeting he:d April 4th, and publish
cd in your issue of April 19th, you
will see that I even went further
than "Tax Payer" does in naming
injurious effects from the non-en
forcement of this law.
I am more than delighted to have
this matter of school attendance
brought to public attention, because
it is only by a free, frank and candid
discussion of such subjects that a
correct understanding by the public
can ever be secured. I am always at
willing to have my o~.cial acts-di4e
cussed, still I must beg the right of t\
calling "Tax Payer's" attention to p
the fact that I am not a truant officer
and neither am I a part of the ma- di
chinery that prosecutes law-break- at
ers. I have a high opinion of our at
District Attorney and Judge and 1 ui
feel sure that if they were convinced fr
that the people of this parish wanted w
this law enforced they would do s}
everything in their power to see that
people who were stealing an educa- vi
tion from their children were brought
to justice. It is now my understand- st
ing that a list of people who have
violated this law will be once more ha
placed before the Grand Jury at this
coming IMay term, when I trust that a
some true bills will be found. ba
In conclusion, I desire to assure Lc
"Tax Payer" that I have done every- in
thing within my power to have this wt
law enforced during the past three
years and that I will not admit any p1
responsibility for conviction not hav- fo
ing been secured in the past or if
they are not secured at this May of
term. If the patrons will assist in pa
bringing this matter to the attention
of the District Attorney and not leave fo:
it to one man, I am sure the school re,
children will be found in regular at
tendance this coming year. ve
Very respectfully,
EIMDER E. LYON, gu
Superintendent of Education.
See Mr. Woodruff's letter page one is
of section two. foi
-0
MADISONVILLE TO PLAY WALK is
OVER'S TO-MORROW. wi
Madisonville will play the Walk Co
Overs of New Orleans at Madison- w
ville, Sunday. Mr. Mire states that
this will 'be a good game-plenty of pla
class. The game will be called at th
2:30. Battery-.Madisonville, Bru- d
nette, Godfrey. Walk Over, Enagle, bu:
Churchill. cin
Visitors from New Orleans who ar
come on the excursion will have time
to witness this game, as the train will He
leave Covington about 4:45. wil
. ---- nig
It is said that buried treasure
has a tax of 12 per cent. Whoever cot
got the buried treasure under the mo
cedar tree may be sure he is spo.tied we
Better come and pay the tax.
on
--'I-u----
GALATAS LITIGATION SETTLED.
The Farmer is requested to an- lut
nounce that the litigation between o
Theodore Galatas and others, as heirs
of Roland G. Galatas, and sMrs. Re
becca Funk Galatas, widow of Ro
land Galatas, has been amicably set- \
tied, and all claims have been with- Coi
drawn by the heirs against the es- to.
tate and settled by the judgment of Hot
the District Court. and Mrs. Rebecca I'll
Galatas has been recognized as the aw:
owner of the property left by her pag
husband, free from all claims of the hay
heirs, and with full right to sell and pa
dispose of the same as she sees fit.
-0---- '1
Say, but that tax on luxuries is a pan
bird. Somebody ought to invent a rais
cash register (exempt from tax as a and
luxury) that will make the correct you
returns and sav9 the business men you
from the insane aSzltm. don
'5;i
rlU. S. SAILORS VISIT ROMAN FO;RUM
I AI
L t, / ....ff
dvidedý ff 'ý int deacmet of ` abu 200 each,{ v 'te, the"ý,l ;famtu fo,¢ru
-I0.4
R"e~i phtgap .hw the In frn fth e' i 'of Fa
_ In ' C " %
A ABITA SPRINGS
e NEWS NOTES
PERSONALS
ic A grand free dance will be given
s at the Pavilion, Sunday, May 4th, in
' I:oiror of Louis Stire and .M. Martin,
of two of our boys just returned from
o France.
r There will be a parade and all sol
1- diers and sailors who were in service
and wishing to participate will report
r at the Town Hall at 6 p. m., with
I uniforms. Dancing will be free. Re
R freshments will be sold and proceeds
d will go towards erecting a memorial
o shaft. Everybody welcome.
t Mr. Jos. Rausch evas a business
visitor to New Orleans last week.
t Abita Springs is filling up with
strangers.
e Mr. and IMrs. A. Pink, of Algiers,
e have taken a cottage for the aummer
s Monday morning, about 3 o'clock,
ta negro named Sam Turner shot and
badly wounded another negro named
a Lonzo Blackwell. The sheriff was
immediately notified. The shooting
was on account of a woman.
Mr. L. Verges, after spending a
7 pleasant time with his pareat1s, l'ft
for New Orleans.
Mrs. L. C. Franz has been the guest
r of Mr. and Mrs: L. Verges for the
I past week.
i Mr. Domonock Dazet has been ill
for the past two weeks, but is now
I recovering.
Mrs. A. Mutti is back home now
very much improved in health.
Mr. and iMrs. P. Pratini are the
guests of Mr. and Mrs. R. Mendow.
Mr. E. M. Fox, of New Orleans,
is stopping at the Gannon Cottage
for the summer.
Miss Stafford, of Denham Springs,
is spendng the week in Abita Springs
with her friends, Misses Smiley.
Mr. A. Mutti spent Wednesday in
Covington.
.Mr. Tom Miller has gone back to
work at sea.
The Waldheim young people are
planning to give their play, "Between
the Act" in Abita Springs, Wednes
day, and possibly in Mandeville after
that. With the proceeds they are
buying, a piano for the Waldheim
consolidated school. Those acting
are: Misses Lydia -Strain, Ida and
Edith Keen, Hattie Cook, Messrs.
Weller Dutsch, Jack Dutsch, Juli:,
Heath and Willie Cook. The p'ay
will be staged for the first time to
night at the Waldheim school.
Pastor Luecke reports that the
congregation here has paid $25.00
more on the parsonage debt this
week. reducing the debt balance to
$625.00. $25.00 more will be due
on July 1st, and the people of the
church are preparing to give a play
before that time.
Miss Eleanor Rayne is back on
duty in Mandeville, going back and
forth on the train each day.
SURE' WE'LL FINISH IT.
When the Great Southern Lumber
Company, of Bogalusa, was appealed
to. to advertise the Victory Loan,
Hon. W. H. Sullivan replied: "Sure;
I'll take it up with the company right
away." And the order came for a
page. Mr. Sullivan ansi his company 1
have been right in the front ranks of
patriotic boosters for the "Good Old
t'. S. A."
The Jahncke Shipbuilding Com
pany, Inc., has been another big 1
raiser of funds for the Government I
and for general war activities. If
you read the ad. on the last page u
you will see what Madisonville has I
done. a
DISTRICT COURT
HOLDS EXTRA
SESSION
A Judge Carter held a special session
i of Court this week and gave a hear
ing to several eases.
Judge Carter has not yet recover
ed from the effects of ptomane poi
- soning occurring several weeks ago,
but he felt that it was his duty to
t expedite these matters and gave his
S'attention to them in' spite of his Ill
ness.
$25.00 REWARD.
A reward of $25.00 will be paid
for information leading to the dis
covery of the boys who have been
placing tacks in the streets for autos
to pick up in the tires.
P. J. LAOROIX,
Mayor:
There will be a meeting of the
School Improvement League Wed
nesda~r, May 7, at 4 p. m.
MRS. C. H. SHEFFIELD.
--0
NOTICE.
I wish to announce that I am now
operating an Auto Livery Service at
Schoen & Molloy's. Your patronage
is solicited. Phones 10 and 223.
G. P. JMOLLOY.
TO THE CITIZENSHIP OF
SCOVINGTON.
In due time I shall make the regu
lar announcement of my candidacy
for the office of Mayor at the election
to be held in June. As the time fix
ed for nomination is considerably
ahead, I desire to invite a careful
investigation of my record as Alder
man during the last two years so
that the voters will be fully inform
ed as to my qualifications as a can
djdate.
ate. Respectfully,
ADRIAN D. SCHWARTZ.
---------O
COVINGTON BASEBALL ORGAN
IZATION.
In response to a request from
some of the active business men of
Covington, a meeting to organize a
baseball team was held in Stanga's t
office for the purpose. The follow
ing officers were unanimously elect
ed: J. E. Stanga, manager; J. D.
Kerr, treasurer; A. J. Park, secre
tary, and C. S. A. Fuhrmann, field
captain. 1
The name adopted for the team t
was Devil Dogs. The name may
sound a little bit harsh, but it is a i
team composed of members who will I
fight until the last man is retired.
Then, too, we will likely have to I
fight teams with names sounding
equally as bad-such as Blue Devils,
Sea Daddies. etc,
It is the purpose of this organiza- I
tion to have a game in Covington •
each week. Regular practice will r
be conducted from two to four days.
each week, from 5:30 p. m, to 6:30
p. m.
Lend the boys a helping hand by c
coming out to the games and by
boosting the home team. They do c
not expect to win all the games, but
do expect to win a majority of them d
and even though they are defeated t
now and then, you will enjoy a good f
game,
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I* DIES AT THE AGE OF 106 *
SYEARS.
* Susan Cousin, colored, aged *
* 106 years, 'died at her home at *
* Uneedus, La., on Tuesday, April *
* 29, 1919. She has 115 child- *
* ren, grand children and great *
* grand children, many of whom *
* were at her bedside when she *
* passell away. She was well and *
* favorably known throughout the *
* community in which she lived. *
NOW ON DUTY IN GERMANY
? ii
i'
BenJ. O. Youngs I
Private 'Benjamin O. Young, of a
Bush, La., is a member of the Second I
Division, Regular Army, now station- t
ed at Vallandar, Germany. t
- a
A FAIRIE~ FETE. d
From "A Midsummer Night'as
Dream," with all, due apology to n
Shakespeare for amputations, inserts p
and other discrepancies committed c
during our one week's practice. How
ever, anything may happen on a mid
summer night or on a spring night e
for that matter, so 'be prepared for V
all sorts of surprises. Shakespeare re
claims that it all happened in one ri
night anyway; so we, being less skill
ful than the old wizard may perhaps ri
be pardoned for taking a whole week e1
to interpret (prefix "mis" and you p
will have a more correct terms for y
it) one of the master poet's best it
beloved plays. w
'By the pupils of the Covington it
high school, Friday, rMay 9th, at w
8:00 'p. m. .Admission, Adults 10c; w
children 5c. pi
Cast of Characters. H
Oberon, King of Fairyland-Earl K
Ogden. 51
Titania, his Queen-Willie Marie F
Denman. a,
Puck, or Robin 'Goodfellow-El- It
wood Nilson.
First Fairy-Alfrieda Wadsworth.
Second Fairy-Emilda Smith.
Third Fairy-Marguerite Lardor.
Peas Blossom-Nicholas Seller. st
Cobweb-William Norder. th
Moth-,, illiam Reeder. w
Mustard-Seed-Logan Belknap. se
Bottom, the mortal who has been m
turned into an ass .by the mischevi- "j
ous enchantment of Puck-Albert th
Sandoz.we
SLittle Indian Boy-Theo. Baptist. H
Fairy Dancers--Marguerite Lan
don, Marion Smith, Marguerite Brad
ley, Ruby Helen Park, Emilda Smith,
Alfrieda WVedswsorth, Mary Webb,
Matilda Haik, Maud 1Mattix, Clara wi
King, Hester'Burns, Amy Frederick, wi
Bessie Johnson, Mamie Denman, Ce- m
cile Ragan, Sophie Segond. II
May Pole Dancers-Doruthy Burns di
Doris Sheffield, Iris Planche, Katie ou
Seller, Avis Mercadel, Claire cMullal- ya
ly, Jean Caufield, Olive Wadsworth, lo
Marguerite Sharp, Carmelite Fogar- fri
ty, Doris Frederick, Grace McCor- th
mack, Ruth Morgan, Dorothy Bloss- th
man, Jeanette Moses and rMarjorie fri
Burns. bu
Choruses--Iris Planche, Adrienne ey
Brewster, Dorothy Burns, Doris Shef- ev
field, Elgie Patrick, Coxius Dudevoir, fo
Augusta Edwards, Mignoine Aldrich, do
Grace Barringer, Marietta Aoueille, of
Bertha Loyd, Ruby Mattix, Hallie ne
Yenni, Katie Seller, Ida Poole, Kath- re
rine Tomney, Gertrude Worley. ch
Music---endelssohn. sit
Dance-"Cecile Waltz." otl
Features of the night will be the
coronation of the May Queen, the ne
most popular girl in thegradpating ar
class, and the May Pole Dance. cai
After the play dancing will be in- soi
dulged in by the young folks and re- a
freshments will be served by the so
School Improvement League, under tre
whose auspices the festival is given. be
ITEMS OF INTEREST AT JAHNCKE
SHIPYARDS IN MADISONVILLE
items of interest to the shipbuilders and public in general will be
published in this column each week, and those who have interesting
news and local notes can forward same to the E)ditorial Department
Jahncke Shipbuilding Corporation, and they will be handled by them.
Notes should be in s9 as to be mailed every Wednesday, otherwise they
will be held over until the next week. D. H. VINET,
Editor-In-Chief.
The shipyard and Madisonville, al
ways patriotic, true to self and coun
try, will subscribe 100 per cent Vic
tory Bonds. When it comes to do
ing big things in a big way Madison
ville is as .big as her name. In all
things :progressive, Americanism, and
the like, she stands ace high and she
is true to form on this occasion.
Capt. Eugene Casey, who, during
the war, occupied the position of
Southern iDistrict Guard Marshal, un
der the direction of the Emergency
Fleet Corporation, will return to his
pre-war position as Captain of the
police squad on Canal street, New
Orleans. The same high purpose
that has always characterized him in
the various positions he has filled
was amply exemplified in his patri
otic services to the government dur
ing the period of the war. He is at
all times a strict disciplinarian, and
those serving the government under
his supervision will always feel proud
that they stood the test of 'his watch
fulness and faithfulness. The Fleet
Guards at the Jahncke Shipyard,
wish him much success on his return
to his pre-war position.
The Koepp family, of which An
thony Koepp, Sr., Is the head, is very
numerous and continues to grow.
They are closely idenzft.fied' with the
business, industrial, political, social
and agricultural life of this town and
section. The head of the family
came here many y~ara ago, and by
indomitable courage, thrift, well-di
rected effort and economy, estalblish
himself in the business life of the
community, which,, thrqugb. all these }
years, have been reflected yw his off
spring. When the black clouds of
war threatened and looked ominous
f and ,inally broke forth in fury, this
Sfamily came, and came pretty strong,
to the defense of their country.
Their names appear on the rolls of
the army, the shipyards, the sawmills
and in other activities wherever
duty called. To enumerate the
praiseworthy efforts and accomplish- t
ments of this large family in detail, n
more time than I have to spare would
be required, therefore, I must post- e
pone writing nmore, for another oc- F
I casion. ii
Mr. F. R. Merritt still retains his
position as one of the most. valued It
employ es of the Jahncke Shipyard. It
While the force of workers have been it
reduced considerably, to conform to tl
readjustment plans, etc., Mr. Merritt i
is just as busy attending to calls up- It
on him as he wos when the yard was
running at full capacity. Of all the d
efficient and faithful men who com- 01
posed the real working forte of the at
yard, Mr.· Mlerritt was second to none at
in his devotion to the special line of
work assigned to him. Before com
ing to this yard he was connected V
with the Houlton Lumber Company, of
where his ability as a lumberman was d
put to the acid test and found A-1. us
He is the son-in-law of Mr. Christian
Koepp, and the proud father of a cc
sweet little baby. He is a nativee of
Florida, and 'his disposition is as mild
and exhilarating as the climate of A'
that beautiful state.
Appropriate Music. p
Last Sunday evening at the picture
show, one of the scenes was that of
the villian striking a man on the head p1
with a bottle of wine, knocking him ed
senseless. The very appropriate
music rendered for this scene was, a
"The End of a Perfect Day." Had fo
the man died we suppose the music e
would have been "The;e Will Be a w
Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight." St
HOW TO EAT.
I am going to tell you about the ha
way we contest for our meals and in
what you should do if it is ever your at
misfortune to dine with us. While
I believe in all forms of exercise, this
dinner-table gymnastics is too strenu
ous for me. It staes off with a fifty
yard dash. The winner is the fel
low you see with all the desert in ch
front of his plate. After reaching
the table you immediately look for
the teat that has the most food in
front of it. Then proceed to get
busy at once. Always keep your
eyes on your competitors forgetting he
everything else except the work be-un
fore you. And whatever you do
don't let any one start eating ahead
of you. Very often they start din- de
ner with something you may not th
recognize, and as this is a very cru
cial moment all you have to do is to
sit back, hold tight, and see what the
others do, then go to it! .
Sometimes they have soup for din- ev
ner. Whenever soup is served look
around for the 'biggest spoon you
can find. Some of the fellows, when
souping, make a cute little noise like
a leaky faucet. Should you find the
soup too hot you will eliminate all i
trouble if you will gargle it in the~
back of your throat for a while. J
1- find this to be far better than trying
a- to hide it under the table like Cale
c- cas used to do. It it happens to be
)- Friday when you, unfortunately, are
forced to dine with us, you might be
d served fish. Should you encounter
,e a bone that sticks in your throat
don't try to cough it on the other fel
low's plate, if you did it might have
g some meat left on it, then he would
get more fish for dinner than you
(the main object is to get the most
y of everything). The most polite
s thing to do when facing such a crisis
e and delay is to fish for the bone with
a Pfrk. Whenever you are lucky
eenough to get an even start with the
rest of the gang do not use the fork,
start in with your knife. Jake Bro
ders says a 'knife can hold a great
deal more than a fork, especially
after you have mastered 'it. The
only time for you to use the fork is
r when you get ready to clean up.
Be sure you approach the table
with a running jump for the place
you have decided to take, and by all
means be th~y flrst one seated and
get into actidn at once, make the
other fellows remark "how fast you
are." Perhaps you will see a piece
of tissue paper on the table. They
call this a napkin. Pay no attention
to, it, for it is not intended to be a
food and serves no good purpose.
Soup always leaks through it to your
shirt. This is something you can
not prevent at our table.
Should the gang appear to be care
less and not start eating at once
don't be deceived, it is only a barrage
and they are trying to throw you off
your guard. Bear well in mind that
you are to start at once, for if you
don't your digestion will suffer.
nTever put off for tomorrow what you
can chew today. . And If at first you
don't fill up, try, try again. If at
any time you think you have reached
your limit take a short rest, then
start again. Eat heavily, if you don't
Kelly will. After you have followed
my instructions the gang will be cap
tivated by your excellent table man
ners and good breeding, but rest as
sured they will see to it that you are
eliminated from all future contests.
In order to prove your good. breed
ing be sure to carelessly knock a few
spoons, knives and forks to the floor.
When you pick them up slip a few
into your pocket. If you practice do
ing this. you will soon be able to go
into the cutlery business. Should
the waiter make a mistake and serve
ice cream don't try to swallow it in
lumps, just pat it with a spoon and
make a soup out of it when you can
drink it down, thereby saving a lot
of time. (Norris has made a great
success of this.) If coffee doesn't
suit you spill it on your neighbor's
lap, but ,be sure and tell him that
you really didn't care for it anyway.
Valdin always drinks the contents
of the finger bowl, but it's best not to
do this for it is possible that it was
used properly at the preceding meal.
If, after handling the food, you are
compelled to wash your hands, be
sure and call for a bar of soap.
After you have made a good lather
in the Afingr bowl, do as Pens does,
wipe on the table cloth. If a piece
of meat happens to crawl off your
plate capture it at once, for if you
do not you will be meatless. Should
you spill any gravy on the table cloth
grab a slice of bread and butter it,
place bread over gravy spot, butter
ed side down, so it wont slip. When
you drink water don't try and imitate
a soda fountain, like Packard does,
for this takes much practice. Don't
eat any salads. You may fnd that
while you were dressing your salad
Stockfleth had finished the entire
contents of the table.
My last advice to contestants is,
keep away from our table, for you
have no chance with us-we are all
in the pink of condition and unbeat
able.
PATTER.
Just picture this to yourself: A
bottle of Coca Cola being used to
christen a ship.
Never argue with the milkman.
He is liable to make you take water.
If two deaf mutes wbre on their
honeymoon would you say they were
unspeakably happy.
'We have discovered that Jake Bro
ders has a twin brother. Everybody
thinks he looks and acts just like
Jake.
Some of the peace delegates have
made up their minds to have peace
even if they have to fight for it.
Some fellows are going around
yelling about Congress taking away
their personal liberty. And yet these
same fellows can't make a move
without consulting a five foot female.
(Coatlanet ms ,age 2t