St. Tammany farmer. [volume], September 27, 1919, Image 1

About St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current

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THK ST. TAMMANY FABU.R
On sae Eey S At y At
Indd The St. Tammany Farier $2Uof The Farmer.o
STORE, G get more than the worth
wDjAJ PHARMACY, Madimm- of your money by being a F
vDle. FM v S eNts Per ( coL. subscriber. Help boost the priah.
D. IH. MASON, Editor COVINGTON, LA., SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1919. VOL. 45 No. 45
SHOT TO DEATH
BY POSSE AFTER
ROBBERIES IN
LOCALITY
Broke Into and Robbed Va
riolls Houses Lacombe
and Pearl River.
REFUSES TO HALT
WHEN CALLED UPON
Finally Run Down After
Eluding Officers On
Several Occasions.
Jam''s Phillips, alias R. B. Jones,
was soht and killed by a posse in
chase, about dark, Saturday, Sep
tember 20, just south of St. Tam
many atation. The fatal shot is said
to have. been fired by Asa Smith.
Phillips wan wanted for various rob
beries. The name of the robber was
unknoan at the time, but he had
been 2lsely enough pushed at vari
ous times to identify him when seen.
Phillips had broken into and robbed
various houses in that section and
had worked Pearl River station, La
combe, Florenville and other places.
He ha I been chased from time to
time an I shot at on several occasions
but he defied all orders to halt and
did not seem to fear being shot. His
contempt for the law and defiance
of the officers terminated in a search.
for him being taken up by a posse
headedl by Deputies Wall and Smith
and resulted in his being shot to
death Saturday. A bundle contain
ing stoen articles was found where
he had secreted it in a hollow log.
Among the numerous articles in the
bundle was some garlic, supposed to
be used in the event bloohounds were
put upon his tracks; also a bundle
of sash cord, probably used to lower
himself from windows.
Coroner Bulloh reached the scene
of the shooting Saturday night about
10 o'clck and held an inquest, the
investigation bringing out the facts
stated. He had the body buried.
No one at the time could identify
Phillips, but Sunday, the father of
the man, who lives a few miles from
where Phillips was shot asked that
the boly be exhumed in order that
he might view it. He seemed to
anticip rte thL,. his wayward boy
might be lying in that lonesome un
loved grave. When the body was
exposed he identified it immediately.
He mournfully commented that dis
obedience to parental authority,
wilful disregard for the teachings
that would have made him a respect
able citizen had made him a victim
of the harsh penalty of crime.
It is reported that other arrests
will follow in connection with the
robberies of Phillips, as it is said
he had accomplices.
Phillips was arrested and placed
in jail in Coving'on under suspician
of being connected with the murder
of Littln, killed and robbed at Honey
Island some time around Christmas.
The grand jury failed to indict and
he was released.
LECTURE AT ABITA TO-DAY.
There will be a meeting in the
Town hlall this afternoon in Abita
Springt, at 4 o'clock. Miss Graham,
of Baton Rouge, will address the
people on "What Our Local Red
Cross i.tould Do for Our Needy."
Everybody come.
Mr. Guy A. Smith has been ap
pointed chief deputy clerk in the of
fice of hile Clerk of Court. Mr. Smith
has hal considerable experience in
the business of the office, is popular,
accommodating and a man of good
habits. He will devote his energies
to securing an orderly transaction of
the business and will assist in any
way that will give prompt informa
tion andl make access to records
easily rccomplished.
----0---
SAYS LETTEi WAS 3ISINTER
PR ETE)D.
Mandeville, La., Sept. 20.
Editor St. Tammany Farmer:
I don't want to take up too much
of your time and space of your valu
able pa.per, but your editorial of Sep
tember i,mh, commenting on my letter
of Sept. 3, leaves the impression
with the readers of The Farmer as if
I had criticised the school board. 1
-Would ike to correct this impression.
When I wrote tha: letter 1 never had
.the school board in my mind. I
think our school board has done ex
ceedingly well with the money they
have at their disposal and no criti
cism is die Ihem from me. Our
publ:c school system has been great
ly imp'ovedl in the last few years .by
that bhard. with the assistance of
our able superintendent, Mr. Lyon.
A,1 honor to them. I could not criti
ielse the school board for spending
the ro .l and dlipping vat funds be
cause they have nothing to do with
those funds. i did say "may it not
be possible that we get the same re
sults fat our school taxes as we did
with o.ir road taxes, and therefore
the pople should be careful who
they put in that position to handle
that funl." There is no criticism in
that as far as I can see it of the
school bcard.
I am acquainted with some of the
m:1embers of that board personally
and I Itnow they stand in the highest
esteem in their respective communi
ties. * * *
Yours truly,
J. MURKL.
N. 0. G. N. WILL
BUILD DEPOT IN
COVINGTON 90
DAYS JAN. 1
Manager Farris Desires To
Meet People and Talk
Over Plans.
ASKS THE PEOPLE
FOR CO-OPERATION
Expresses, a Desire For a
Harmonious and Mutual
Solving of Problems.
Attorney F. J. Heintz states that
the N. O. G. N. will build the new
depot rAt Covington within ninetty
days after January 1. January 1st
the railroads will go back into the
hands of its private owners. While
the company will be left without the
financial support it would have had
with the funds it is entitled to, at the
same time the Government will make
provision for a certain amount of
credit that will enable re-establish
ment of business on lines decided up
on by the company, and it is hoped
to establish such relations with the
public as will bring interest and co
operation in the readjustment that
is necessary.
Manager Farris desires to meet
the people of this parish and to talk
over matters with themn. He is very
desirous of establishing friendly re
lations with the people and will
adopt the most conciliatory policy
that is practicable. Of course there
is muca that should be done that
cannot be done under present condi
tions, out he wishes to do all he can
do. The interests of both the peo
ple an.i road demand co-operative
work.
It is asked that every one interest
ed in good service and desirous of
assisting in working out a mutually
beneficial program meet some of the
officials of the road at the courthouse
Monday at 10:30 a. m. Mandeville
people, who are also interested in the
erection of a depot, should attend
the meeting.
CURB MARKET cHANGES HOU'RS.
Beginning Wednesday, October 1,
the Curb Market will operate be
tween the hours of 3 and 5 in the
afternoon.
---*--
GOOD ROADS WORK PROGRESS
ING NICELY.
The Good Roads Commission re
ports the maintenance force now
working on the Lee Road. having
moved cut that road Monday, Sept.
151h, and with the equipment that
is now t-eing furnished for this force
good progress should be made in this
work.
The Engineering Department is
now bring kept busy working up
profiles, plans and cross-sections,
the surveying parties having com
pleted sufficient part of the surveys
to enable this work to proceed.
Maintenance and repair work has
now been completed on the Ben
Willliams road. The Military Road
has also been worked, which enables
the school truck to pass over all
right.
-0
A MEASIRING PARTY.
Friday, October 3, there will be a
measuring party at the Manse of the
Presbyterian Church. The follow
ing verses urge your attendance and
tell you how happy you will be. At
they are written by one of the com
mittee in charge you may know the)
tell the truth:
Come to the Measuring Party at the
Manse,
Oh, do not miss this splendid chance;
Only a penny for each inch you
measure,
And receive in return yards and
yards of pleasure.
rIHE TANGPPA.IOA PARISH FAIR.
The Tangipahoa Parish Fair, at
Hammond, La., promises to be a very
interesing and instructive affair, this
year. It will be held October 8, 9,
10 and 11. Invitation is extended
to St. Tammany parish people to at
tend. As our own fair occurs a lit
tle later, it would be a valuable ex
perience to run over and take note
as to just where we fall short or ex
ceed them in our own undertakings.
Hammond has turned out some good
fairs. A better fair is well worth
seeing. It is only twenty miles from
Covin.g:on. Take a run over in your
car.
_ -0----
Dr. A. H. Grimmer has bought
the Wejss residence.
Inability to get fuel oil cut out the
electric lights awhile Friday night.
Mrs. Powlee, of Abita Springs, one
of the best trained colored nurses
in the parish, with a large clientetle
throughout the parish, is away for a
while, visiting her daughter.
Mr. C. F. Trudeau, of Baton
Rouge, state inspector of high
schools, left Covington Saturday
morning, after inspecting the schools
here. He will be in Slidell to-day.
Mr. C. J. Beauvias went to New
Orleans, Saturday, to attend the
funeral of his father, who died the
ame day, after an ilems of some
months.
IDLE WORKMEN PARADING IN BUIDAPEST
"a he S ý
Il
a W';l~y t°,y s'?bG . -. .. oaw4+.- r; .`ý og2 x' P
Rn ; tehuge gp e of i e 3rk tht ark the rue of the c m ui
,,S`yyý.,R~'p'" `¢cý ' ýý* ý'ý^ Y+S'ý ýýý: .> '"ý.¢ ý-ý ý",
R 't af''''
1 - 1 1' / 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
HOME SERVICE
OF RED CROSS
DISCUSSED
Mrs. Graham, field agent for the
Gult Division of the Red Cross, New
Orleans Chapter, was in Covington,
yesterday, and made a talk before
the :executive committee of the Red
Cross here relative to the mainte
nance of the Home Service branch of
the or:ler. She will talk in Abita
Springs this afternoon at 4 o'clock.
T;ie !unds available for the local
branch of this department is $6000,
enough to maintain it for a year.
After that the work would have to
be supported locally and would re
ceive some assistance from the funds
raised by roll call solicitations. The
merit of the service rendered in this
department is so evident that it is
thought it will be strongly support
eId after the benefits have been ex
perienced.
Hon. F. J. Heintz, juvenile officer,
strongly urges the adoption of the
service r nd the combining with itp
other v.ork the care of dependent
juveniles that now remain uncared
for because the law has made no
provision for them. He made a
strong appeal for the care of the
juvenilcs before the Executive Board
yesterday. 'He has personally cared
for and found homes for quite a
numnber of them, but it is beyond
reason to expect that he may be able
to lirov:de for all.
- --0---
HARD WORK OR HARlI) TIMES.
(By Theo. H. Price.)
As a result of the world war Ald
:he almost world-wide epidemic 4
influenza the world's working forCe
has lost at least 10,000,000 able
bodied men. Eliminating Russia,
which is still a cipher in so far as
her productive power is concerned,
the belligerent countries of Europe
and the United es had a pre-war
population of ab . 350,000,000 ,per
sonap. At the most liberal estimate
this; population did not include more
than 100,000,000 men that were old
anobg'1 and not too old to be pro
ductive.
The reduction in the world's man
power attributable to war and dis
ease is, therefore, not less than ten
per cent. The actual reduction is
probably greater, for the birth rate
has. decreased and millions of men
have been disabled while other mil
lions are still under arms.
Desp.te this reduction in the num
ber'of 'yving men those who are left
have been generally insisting upon
an eight-hour day and a forty-four
hour week instead of the ten-hour
day and the fifty-six hours week that
was the rule in most industries be
fore the war. This reduction in their
working time means a further cur
tailment of twenty per cent in pro
duction, for the theory that the
average workman can do as much in
eight hours as he formerly did in ten
has been pretty well exploded by
recent experience.
These figures make it clear that
the effective energy of Europe and
America is at least .thirty per cent
less than it was five years ago. This
means a correspondingly lessened
production of the things that we re
quire or think we need, *and as no
one seems to be willing to do with
less than formerly, the result is a
violent upbidding of prices that in
creases the cost of living, but does
not: decrease the supply of produc
tion of commodities.
T'his truism has been so often set
forth of late that it has become trite
and almost overbearing, but we are
moved to restate it because a Labor
Con4ference is shoitly to be held in
WVshinton at which, we fear, it will
be =urged that there is some other
cure than more work for a predica
mept that is plainly the result of too
little work.
It should be made clear that the
men of this country and Europe w'ho
survive the war will have to eat less
and life in less comfort and luxury
than formerly if they are unwilling
o .work as hard or as long as they
used to. There is no alchemy that
wijl convert idleness into wealth or
six hours of work into ten hours of
production.
If the pre-war standard of living
is :to be maintained, the pre-war
standar.l of labor and efficiency must
be preserved.
Ujnless the Labor Unions can be
made to understand this truth by
argument, we are afraid that it will
)eare to be brought home to them
byi the 1hunger and distress that will
GOVERNMENTI
FOOD SALE IS
SOON OVER
The sale of Government food sup
plies by the women of the Progres
sive Union, last Monday, was met
with a iush that made it impossible
for all to get inside the building.
Many iwent home in hopeless despair.
Others clung to the job and succeed
ed in carrying away "the bacon."
This was the first experience here
in selling Government supplies, and
the qui.k manner in which the things
disappeared was both a relief and a
surprise. It is probable that more
goods w ill be ordered and another
sa'e held.
A sale of this kind cannot be made
without some criticism. The early'
grabbing of the most desirable things
by -people who had the money and
got there first created a feeling
among some that as usual the poor
nran didn't have a chance. The fact
is, the committee could not break
packages, because they could not
handle the business that way. Mayor
Badon was anxious that the small
buyers should be served, but it would
be a difficult mlatter to so check the
buying as to have all served. It
was simply a matter of first come
first served.
There was also some criticism of
the selling to men who had stqres.
It might have been better to refuse
to sell to any storekeeper, but be
fore any sa:le was made it was pledg
2d that the goods were'not to be re
sold but were to be used in the
family. They were bought for fami
ly use because they could be bought
cheaper -than the wholesale price
paid by dealers.
The only provisions left were some
cans of corn beef. There were $600
worth of this beef and the demand
for it was not as strong as for other
things. It can still be bought and
no doubt will all be disposed of.
1MRS. J. B. CEFALU.
Covington people were shocked to
learn of the death of Mrs. J. B.
Cefalu, in New Orleans, last Mon
day. Mrs. Cefalu is the mother of
Mrs. Lewis L. Morgan, of Covington,
and had many friends here who are
sorry to learn of her death. 'Mrs.
Cefalu underwent a serious opera
tion last week.
Parkview Theatre has been cut in
two and moving of the two halves
is now under way. The building is
to be located across the street from
the old location, and it will probably
be a week befoie the work is com
ple'ed end shows again started.
-0---
Dis:nanteling of the old building
next to the Patecek store is now un
der way and will be replaced "y a
modern brick building. When this
structure is completed that part of
the town will present a neat front.
DELIGHTED WITH TRIP TO NOR
FOLK, VA.
Editor St. Tamman Farmer:
Dear Sir:-I was delighted with
my trip to Norfolk, and I wish the
colored people of Covington to know
of the wonderful influence of educa
tion upon our race. The negroes of
that city are intelligent and indus
trious, work hard and save. The
negroes of Covington could be as
prosper'ous if they would work and
take advantage of their opportuni
ties, because our opportunities are
very great here. I found the Bap
tist preachers progressive. They ac
complish big things and the mem
bers of the church co-operate with
him. We raised $20,000 for home
and foreign missions and for schools
and orihan children.
I thank the white leaders for help
ing me in the expense of my trip,
they having donated $65.00.
We can do a great many things if
we will. The Lord has shown the
way; we have but to follow His
teachings.
RFJV. H. G. RANDLE.
inevitably overtake their members.
At present they seem to be living
in a foil's paradise, deluded with the
idea that the fewer hours they work,
the more per hour they are entitled
Ito recaeive. Precisely the reverse is
the case and the sooner the logic of
the fa:ts is understood the better It
will be for all concerned.
I FAIR WILL HAVE
AEROPLANE
FLIGHT
"Barring sicknes or accident, I
will fly at your fair October 16, 17,
18 and 19, 1919.
"J. M. WINDHAM."
The above telegram assures us of
a treat---sometiilng new under the
sun for St. Tamlnany pariah. Here
then 20,000 people will see their
first aeroplane and have their first
opportunity to go up in one.
Another feature lately- scheduled
for the fair is a 'orse race with lady
jockies.
It is reported by a citizen of the
Second Ward th4t there will 'be more
1ponies from therS for the races than
we can handle. But we think we
will taste care of them. This citizen
reported that the roads up in his
ward are kept hat by the boys train
ing their horses for the fair.. Major
from the First Ward doesn't intend
that all the honors will go to the
Second Ward, and Is getting familiar
with the track. The grass is being
mowed and everybody is invited to
come out and practice their horses
on the track.
Bring Exhibits Now.
For c,nvenience of the people who
live a !ong distance from the fair
grounds, the Assiieation invites them
to bring their exdhibits that are ready
as they come to Covington on busi
ness, any day, from now on.
These exhibits should be brought
to the cifice of! the Association of
Commerce, acrbss the street from
the F. G. C. Auto Shop. The secre
tary of the Fair: will occupy this of
fice until the week of the Fair and
will receive exhibits.
The New Catalogues.
The catalogue and premium list
for the 1919 Fair is about ready and
will be mailed out in a few days.
The tax rolls of the parish will be
used as a mailing list. Catalogues
will be mailed to any new comers or
renters whose names are not on the
tax rolls when the secretary receives
their addresses> All such are re
quested to please send their address.
Landlords and renters are asked to
kindly furnish a list of the number
of books they Can use among their
renters and tenants.
KARL TREEN,
Secretary.
ALL ARE INVITED.
Rev. W. G. Evans has been assign
ed to the pastorate of the Methodist
Episcopal Church, South, at Slidell,
until the session of the annual con
ference, when a regular pastor will
be appointed.
Rev. Evans has matters to discuss
that are of arave importance at this
time. As paftor of the Slidell Meth
odist Church, he issues an invitation
to every mahi who can get into the
church to hbear him. He will take
as his text, Sunday, "The Vision of
Isaiah," as recorded in Isaiah, 6th
chapter, lstito 8th verses.
As :vIr. E'ana puts it, he "woul4
like to talk to every RED-BLOODED
man in St. Ta.nmany parish."
Services Open at 11 a. m., Sep
tember 28.
---L-e
Rev. O. W. Luecke announces ser
vices for Suinday, Sept. 28, at usual
hours in Mandeville, Goodbee and
Abita Springs.
LIST OS' DEAD LETTERS.
FolloN ing is the list of dead let
ters remainihg in the Covington post
office:
Mrs. John Brittia, C. Constantine,
Miss Ethel (1;308/225th ave), Mrs.
Sarah Haynes, :Miss Louise Haston,
Miss Edith 1-epning, Mrs. Marie La
croix, Mrs. Ca lie Martin, Mrs. Gem
Sharp, Dahieli Smith, Mrs. Viola
Thomas, Mts. bmeal Williams, Edw.
Weiner.
!JACOB SEILER,
S Postmaster.
0-
A special examination for teacher!
will be given in my ofnce on Thurs
day, Friday and Saturday, Octobel
2, 3 and 4. o)nly one set of ques
tions will be: prepared. Applicanti
who score between 75 and 100 point
will be issued )n Emergency Secona
Grade Certificate, and those who fal
between 60 ans 75 will be issued ai
Emergency Third Garde Certifeate
both valid for one year.
EIMUR E. LYON,
auperintendeat.
ITEMS OF INTEREST AT JAHNCKE
SHIPYARDS IN MADISONVILLE
By D. H. Vinet.
JAHNCKE TALKS
TO MEN ABOUT
CLOSING OF
YARDS
As President of Company,
Mr. Jahncke Thanks the
Men for Efficiency.
MADE BEST WOODEN
SHIPS TURNED OUT
Cannot Compete In Private
Contracts Under Pres
ent High Wage.
The S. S. Tchefuncta was launched
Saturday, Sept. 20, at 1:05 p. m., in
the presence of a large crowd of
local people and a good many viasit
ore from New Orleans. This hull is
the fifth of the ships contracted for
by the U. S. Shipping Board with the
Jahncke Shipbuilding Co.
The S. S. Pontchartrain left the
shipyard at 8:10 a. m., Sunday, Sept.
21, with Mr. E. V. Heughan in com- 1
mand until she is accepted by and
turned over to the Shipping Board.
As to the future of the yard, the
following bulletin, which is posted in
the Jahncke Shipyard at Madison- i
ville, will convey an idea of the
yard's future prospects:
To the Employees of the Jahncke
Shipbuilding Co., Madisonville. I
With the signing of the armistice
on the 11th day of November, 1918,
our government, acting in the inter- f
est of the general public welfare, im- 4
mediately ordered a definite policy
of curtailing all war expenditures.
In accordance with this definite e
,policy, the United States Shipping I
Board, Emergency Fleet Corporation,
suspended work on practically all un
completed wooden vessels which
were being constructed in the United i
States for war emergency purposes. 1
The Board of Trustees of the U. S.
Shipping Board, under this retrench
ment, has ordered the Emergency
Fleet Corporation to cancel seven of
the Jatucke wooden vessels.
With the completion of the S. S. I
Pontchartrain, and the launching of 1
the S. S. Tchefuncta, we will there- f
fore have completed our war ac
tivities.
I wish to take this occasion, as a
President of this company, and as I
your friend, to thank each and every
man employed 'by us during the past i
two years for his loyal support to the I
United States Government and active t
co-operation with us in building the t
emergency merchant ships so urgent
ly needed by our country during the I
war.
The good, conscientious work 4
which you men did during the war
period is now showing its results. I
The ships built by the Jahncke Ship- I
building Corporation at Madisonville 4
have all proven to be sea-worthy a
crafts. I
Each and every vessel we built I
has received from the United States I
Shipping Board, Emergency Fleet
Corporation, and the American Bu- I
reau of Shipping, the highest quali
fication permissible under the rules I
of the Classification Societies of New I
York.
The credit for building good ships 4
belongs entirely to you men, and it I
must be indeed great satisfaction to
you to know that the ships which you
built have been classed as the best 1
vessels in the United States.
And now that the wooden ships
have been recognized throughout the I
United States as having filled the I
emergency situation, and since they
cannot possibly, in the future, com
pete with steel ships for trans-At
lantic service, for this reason, to
gether with the unsettled industrial
and labor conditions now prevailing
throughout the country, we will not
be able to continue active operation
at our shipbuilding plant here.
It must be apparent to all of you
men that the scale of wages which
have been paid by the U. 8. Shipping
Board, Emergency Fleet Corporation,
on these emergency ships, will not
enable us to secure future contracts
when we have to meet commercial
competition of foreign countries.
Therefore, until a definite and fixed
basis is arrived at, which will take
care of the new industrial conditions,
and also obtain for the men a fair
complensation for their work, we can
not say, at this time, when we will
be able to re-open this yard.
For reasons as above stated, this
shipbuilding plant will be closed on
September 30, 1919.
Very respectfully,
ERNEST LEE JAHNCKE.
THE DANCE.
Possibly the last of the big dances
to be given this season was held at
the Riverside Pavilion, Saturday,
Sept. 20. Schilling's Band rendered
music for the occasion.
A DELIGHTFUL SPAGHETTI'
SUPPER.
Monday, Sept. 22, a spaghetti sup
per was given at the Pavilion. The
participants were officials and ship
builders of the Jahncke Shipbuilding
Co., town offielals and prominent
busines men of Madeisonville. The
alair took an the appearance of a
farewell banquet. Many were the
expressions of regret from all who
spoke of the day of narting-Tues
day, Sept. 30th, 1919.
Mr. Ed. T. Malloy gave an excel
lent toast commending the patriotic
efforts of the shipbuilders and the
hearty co-operation he received from
the people, town officials and busi
ness men of Madisonville.
Mr. Paul A. Blanchard responded
for the town, praising the work of
the officials and shipbuilders in gen
eral. Both were long and loudly
applauded. The evening wts one of
good fellowship. Mr. Godfred Cale
cas entertained at the piano, while
Mr. E. Kelly fasciantingly rendered
selections on the violin. Mr. John
Davis with voice that delighted all,
sang several of the latest songs.
*Mr. Wallace Ballam, a local artist,
played "some" jazz that elicited
much applause.
Owing to the absence of Mayor
Oullibsr, who is in New Orleans on
account of the illness of his wife,
Hon. W. H. Bohning is acting mayor
pro tem. Judging from the proceed
ings of the Mayor's Court a few days
ago, the way of the transgressor will
be hard.
PATTER.
I am told that Cupid strikes the
match
That sets the world aglow;
But whore Cupid strikes the match
Is wnat I would like to know.
I dreamt last night that you
bought me a new hat. Well, that's
the -first dream of a hat that didn't
cost me some money.
Hubby, am I as dear to you now
as when you were courting me? Not
as dear, but more expensive.
September Morn-that's guaran
teed by the pure nood law.
If you want to keep well informed,
subscribe to a paper. Even a paper
of pins will give you a few points.
Louis Stockfleth knows a new song
entitled "The Old Wooden BucKet."
I wonder if he made it up out of his
own head.
Wourl you like to do some light
reading? Yes? Go down and read
the electric meter.
We are taught that this is a free
country-and it costs four thousand
dollars a year to live. J don't think
it is worth it. Back in the time of
the lood men were equal---every
body was in the swim then. Look
at the price of everything. Eggs 70c
a dozen-you are compelled to hold
your breath-get them any cheaper
and you are compelled to hold your
nose. Doughnuts are getting small
er and the holes are getting bigger.
If you want to get a decent living
these days you have to be either I
thief or a millionaire. I understand
that they have put a tax on clothes.
When you kick to the ailer and re
fuse to buy a suit at present prices,
all he tells you to do is "suit your
self." The trusts are a combination
of men that love their country and
have become so interested, in its wel
fare that they have decided to obtain
all the money and divide it equally
among themselves. The trusts com
plain that the government is making
too many laws against them. They
say they are not making anything.
The perfume trust says that they are
not making a cent. The lemon
trust says every one is trying to
squeeze them. Nearly all the stock
ing factories are open works, and a
lot of them should be closed. You
can bet that they are going after the
fellows that charge so much for their
goods. The other day a watch fac
tory was compelled to wind up their
business.
Man wants but little here below.
Yes, and he gets it-when he goes
to the grocery store with less than
ten dollars. The great trouble with
our country is we are living too fast.
Yes, we're living too quick. Look
at the automobiles-yes, and youid
better look quick if you try to cross
the street in front of one. Tihs is
the day of inventions. We have
horseless wagons and boozeless
booze.
Last Saturday I took a stroll down
the strest. I heard a little bird sing
ing. I said to myself, that little
bird is singing for men. A fellow
behind me said it was singing for
him. I said, no, it is singing for me.
He hit me and I hit him. We were
arrested and taken before the judge.
The Judge asked what I had to say.
I told him the circumstances. The
judge raid, twenty dollars each; it
wasn't singing for either of you; it
was singing for me. I had no money
so I couldn't pay the fine. They or
dered me searched. All they found
on me was a yeast cake. The judge
fined me an additional ten dollars
for carrying concealed weapons. I
said, Judge, that isn't concealed
weapon. He said,it's a kind of a
raiser. I said, give me the yeast
cake and I will go out and see if I
can ra se the dough.
I visited a town where they were
raising a subscription for the pur
pose of building a fence around the
cemetery. Every one had donated
very liberally except one fellow. He
was opposed to fencing it in for two
reasons. 'He said, in the first place
there is no one in the graveyard that
could get out; in the second place
Sthere is no one out that wanted to
get in,
SDr. Smith went out in the country.
SHe fell into a well and was drowned.
t ContinueC on pags 4)