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THE GARDEN ISLAND, TUESDAY, JUNE $, 1922 AMERICAN LEGION SECTION THE BONUS ' Washington, D. C, June 1. Busi ness and financial Interests In the United States, "who contributed least and profited most by the war." are flourishing a political pistol at con gress and threatening to pull the trig ger if that body passes tho adjusted compensation bill for service men, ac cordirg to Hanford McNider, na tional commander of the American Legion. The assertion was made in a statement issued by Mr. Mac Nider denying that the Legion had ary thought ot'co-erclng congress. "Enemies of the bill, have declar ed that the Legion has uttered threats, that it has held a political pistol at the head of congress. Not the slightest proof of the truth of these statements has been attempt ed, which has been wise because not a vistage of such proof exists. "But now, a real effort to coerce congress reveals Itself, and the ef- war veterans, the Great War Veter :i"H Ass'j'J&tlon, Dominion replica of ih American Legion, has petlMcned Mi- f,-.n-Miment to summon p. na tional economic conference. Cleveland, Ohio, June 1. One ihould eat snails to grow thin. Dean Ayer of Akron university tavc the unti-fut remedy to an American Le gion post, saying: "Follow the Eng lish .:mlo:n, starting the meal wkh some nice juicy, squashy snaiM ard ou won't want anything more for a week. Indianapolis, !nd., June 1.- Consol idation if fill world war veteran or t -animations in Canada is brii:; urg ed by ru Id T. ai bhul Earl Hat?. 'Mio A nericiin Legion has been .t;frm c d service i;u n of the BritiBh Km- llire havc 1 ceil so consolidated, K-.ll ;.i v, reports. Chi. aij'j, .Vint 1. Winret'eKa. e- . .... . 1 1 1 rort is Deirg maue oy me (,llsivo nilmrt of Chicago, hit turn- d the U1cb jail into a garag-3 fur financial interests. Those Interests are flourishing the political pistol, and a gold plated one at that." Mr. MacNider made reference to the published threat of the financial interests of "Republican pirsuaslon that If the Republican congress pass es the veterans adjusted compensa tion bill there will be no contribu tions from that quarter to the Re publican funds." In the words of one dispatch, the commander declared. "Big business has informed Chair man Adams of tho Republican na tional committee that if congress passes tho bonus, It may get some soldier votes, but it will lose the supoprt of business." "The American Legion has made a clean fight based on the merit, justice, equity and economic sound ness of this legislation and not one scintilla of evidence has been pro duced to dispute these contentions," M,r. MacNider said. The Colorado state senate in ex traordinary session has passod a re solution "regretting and deploring the dolay In the United States senate in passing the adjusted compensation bill," copies of tho resolution being received here by the Colorado mem bers of congress and representa tives' of the Legion. THOUSANDS FOR COOTIES Norfolk, Va., June 1. "Cooties are numerous on board the giant liner Leviathan, which has been brought to Newport News to undergo exten sive repairs that will cost about $8, 000,000. An inspection of the ship disclosed the presence of many bugs' on board. The Leviathan did not undergo a delouslng process after she complet ed the duty of bringing American soldiers from France. The big ship has been idle since the war and has been moored at her pier In Hobo ken, N. J. American Legion mem bers who were looking over their former transport home, say that the Interior of the ship is In a rather unsanitary condition and 'cooties' are nestling in various parts of the vessel. The ship will have a vigorous cleansing before mechanics start re pair work. The d lousing process a lone, it is said, will cost several thousand dollars. In addition, tons of disinfectant that will be used to make the vessel sanitary, it Is pro posed to pour live steam Into every crack and crevice of the Leviathan to kill bugs and get rid of vermin. Even the movie stars know how it feels, the American Legion of Min neapolis, Minn., reports. J. Warren Kerrigan of Hollywood has written the state bonus board of Minnesota asking that his $285 war compensa tion be "hurried up and paid." Ker rigan enlisted as a buck private and was discharged a second lieutenant. Minneapolis, June 1. Nashville, Tenn., June 1. Poor families In Nashville, Tenn., will be provided with ice this summer by Nashville Post, American Legion. The service men reported scores ot indigent families unable to keep food and milk for babies during the sweltering weather. Seattle, Wash., June 1. On July Fourth, all persons in Seattle, who have reached tho age of 21 during the preceding yt-ar will take a pub lic oath of allegiance to the I'nlted States and the vt nstitution, under the auspices of Washington Univer sity Post of the American Legion. Washington, I). C.. June 1 Tha Distinguished S' rvico Order of the American Legion has been conferred on Marshal Joffre of France, by Hanofrd MacNider. commander. In Washington. The highest Legion de coration has been awarded only four other porsons, one of them Marshal Koch. 'tawa, June 1. To find a solu tion .'or unemployment of Canadian NEW DEPARTMENTS We have been criticized badly nt that. A young flapper stild to us: "Why don't you put more pep Into your column? Why don't you run It like a real, paper and have de partments headed the same way ev ery week so I could turn to them and know I was going to read nomo thing good without having to wadi thru all the other Btuff." "But, child, I wouldn't be on Ka ual, If I could do that." She didn't obtain me at all, and pouted, and since It was very pret ty pout It was necessary that I hu mor her. "You mean that I should run a weekly department of new cooking receipts?" "Certainly not," she replied, . "do think I got married to cook?" And with that she left me. In the future we will run two reg ular departments In the American Legion section, the first will be headed: "MY BABY SAID" Since the editor hasn't many baby troubles it is obvious that he can't furnish much material under this heading so it's up to our readers to help us out. Youngsters say clever things theso days and we want you send In some of their bright say- .lOLios. and one of the cells U for ,nB8- Proper remuneration will be rent. 1 lu elimination of crime W ir:ditod to the local American I.e Ki'in podt which formed a vol'jnlcai lolice force of 70 men. Columbus, Ohio, June 1. On the ground that "our greatest heroes probably are obscure soldiers whose names and deeds are- unknown," the American Legion of Ohio has de clined to comply with Governor Da vis' request that It name the state's greatest hero. Oklahoma City, Okla., June 1. A women's shovel brigade will be mustered Into service at Bartles ville, Okla., on Memorial Day. Wo men of the American Legion will themselves turn the boiI and plant 1,500 young trees dedicated to world war soldiers. rails, France, June 1. A woman In Tennessee who saw Marshal Foch while he was touring the United States under the auspices of the American Legion, has written the Marshal asking him to send her one made If your cortrlbution Is clever. As a starter, the following Is sub mitted: "The other evening when I walk ed Into the house, my baby met me at the door and said: 'Hello, Daddy! Going to take me to the movies tonight?. Walt until I wash my face and knees.' " Awful clever thing for a baby to say, she has bobbed hair, rolls her own and Is just twenty. MY FIRST PROPOSAL We will pay for acceptable mater ial submitted to us under this head ing. The school teaching fraternity ought to make a lot of money by contributing to this column. Now that the crop Is almost pau and they are about to leave our midst none of them should hesltatei In tell ing the world how they made him come across. We will of course keep your name out of print if de sired, but remember, the emancipa tion of women Is being rapidly ef fected a few years ago long hair and long dresses but whoever heard of a woman being tripped up by her walking ort the beach, I turned my ankle not badly you know and as I stumbled he caught me In his arms. I cried: 'Oh Bill, I knew you loved me," and I explained that he was the only one I loved and how hap py we were going to bo together and we must keep our engagement secret. That was my first Kauai proposal. We were very happy and would still be going together If Harry hadn't come along. Harry had a Bulck. OUR JOKE COLUMN Don't Know Customer Are you showing your spring lingerie? New Clerk (not very comfortable) I hope not, ma'am. Pelican. Hold 'Em Alberta How do you like Ethel's prom, gown? Albert I can't tell until I see her get up from the table. Voo-Doo. Him Will you sliare your lot with me, my love? Her Yes, dear, If you have en ough money to build a house on it. Sun Dial. Whatever trouble Adam had. No man In days of yore Could say when he had told a joke: "I've heard that one before." Burr. Not a Chance to Die Corinne You're not heroic at all. You were in the navy all during tho war. Bob But we were attacked many times. Corinne Yes, and every one of you had on one of those life pre servers. Chaparral. Difference of Opinion Girl Watching Aeronaut Oh, I'd hate to bo coming down with that parachute. Mere Man I'd hate to be coming down without It Chaparral. Rouge Your eyes are like unto the rays Of Lunn's brilliant form; Your hair is touched with radiance Like sunset after .storm; Your face, enticing, bids me love But I'd not kiss In haste, For I can see your lips are rouged And I can't stand the taste. Dirge. of his worn out shirts. She wants skirts in this day or are? We will to make an apron, she declares and would like to have It autographed. Denver, Col., June 1. As a mea sure of preparedness for anotner flood, American Legion men of Pue blo, are establishing two rescu-s sta Hons outside the flood territory where ropes, boats and other equip ment will be kept. Boston, June 1. On one of their regular tours of Boston hospitals, members of the American Legion and the Harvard Glee Club ut'ipped at the bed of a soldier who was dy ing. The question of whether or not the o'legians should sing was ans wered by I he veteran, "Sure, it will be a happy memory to carry arxni3 with me." St. Louis, Mo., June 1. About a month ngo forty St. Loui3 men bought pages of newspaper advertis ing to announce their opposition o adjusted compensation, adding that ihey were world war veterans. Mis souri is paying 3. ate wa; bonu?, however ,and the American Legion distributing bonus application blanks, found that thesci men wero among the first to apply for the state com pensation. Seattle, Wash., June 1. it Seattle young men become seasick at club meetings, they will have an honert c.libi. An American Legion post has Lought one of the U. S. Shipping Board's wooden hulls, moored it to u dock and will use it as a Legion club house. Birmingham, Ala., June 1 One of the most novel stunts in jurisprud ence took place at a mock trial cor. c'ueted by the American Legion at Birmingham, and presided over by .?udge H. B. Abernathy, rationally knonw jurist., to ImUruct new citi zens. Tho talismen were six s-.-ivice men, none of whom spoke English, i nd six Birmingham girls. TOMAS LOSANO, WANTED Tomas Losano, Uncle Sam Is look ing for you. And his reason is, he wants to slip you somo change. When you joined Co. I of the First Hawaiian Infantry they gave you a dog tag with No. 3,558,179 011. It and you made an allotment to your wife so she would not have to miss the movies while you were away. Your home address was given as Mana, Kauai, and Uncle Sam did his best to g.t the money to your wahinp, but sin- was too busy knitting to go to the post office after it. Cons.-- luently you have a nice piece of change waiting for you to claim. Tell any member of the American Legit n that you wi re the bird who ..ore the dog tag No. 3.558,179 and I.e will pet in touch wltb the 1 rite I .''tales Veterans' Bureau and y.ij'11 get the money. respect your wishes and not publish your name, but If you succeed in getting a very difficult proposal you ought to get the credit for It. Miss Blank, of Blank school, has handed In the following: "It Is my first proposal, that Is, the first one of this season, and I prize this scalp very highly, because Jane, she taught here last year, you know, said he was absolutely Im mune. Of course I wouldn't have been interested if it wasn't for the fact that he had a nice little Overland. We met at a dance at the school cottage. All of the other girls were gushing over him but I sat in the corner and said nothing, and only smiled every time he looked In my direction. Later In the evening when he was out on the lanal smoking, I hnd an opportunity to speak to him alone. I asked him to tell me about his work, that I knew it was so interesting. He would have talk ed for hours but I shut him up be cause there was something more he should know before I could feel that he was out o fthe clutches of the other girls. I told him how 1 yearned for tho platonlc friendship of some real man. I smiled sadly when I said this. He felt sate then. A few nights later when we were She Go over and tell John I can't dance with him, that I've a headache. lie I won't let you use the maleG to defraud. Octopus. An Orphan "Say. waiter, is th.is an Incubator chicken? It tastes like it?" "I don't know, sir." "It must be. Any chicken that has had a mother could never get as tough as this one is." 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