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TUK HAWAIIAN STAR, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER tl, 1898.-8IX PAGES.
A PLUTOCRATIC EDEN
JUNIUS HENRI BROWNE SCORES FASH
ION IN PROUD NEWPORT.
The PlMC K9l 1 h:rtiilitf, After All.
h j Paatilon n.i Bathe All :i
i.ioui 1 imti Perversion f mih-.
A IVn rirtnrp.
Nl wt'nltT. R. 1., Auir. 'Jl.-Mimt pit HOI II
rmiM, 1 Imagine, bt diMppoliitad bj Ni
port on t heir Hrwi rial) utter baaiing no
much of Itt delightful -iinuiinn Rod mil
OGllantous oharnis, remember thai 1 vrai
whi n I Aral nunc here 11- 11 hoy, and I hut I
woniivrcci tit Ita reputation, which waa far
1MB then than It la HOW. li pfaiaca have
been so loudly and persistently chanted
that one might expert tosec :i kind of mod
em Kden, and nidi ed it i- : . anhil by
the rich MMMIMKM Who glv It fame and
constitute its society U may bi called,
therefore, a plUtOOTfttlc Kden, for the pin
toerata hare done 1 .1 that wealth could da
to make H attractive, and they look at It
almost entirely from the 1 tend point of
This renowned reaott is pleasant very
pleasant, locally and i lima' iially and in
general WOUM Da I msiderrd doubtleaa,
had not its e.Wtutferated encomiums been eO
continually dinged in our eats. Still il
acems to me t hat it owes far less to nature
than it owes to art, or perhaps to architec
ture, OOUtributOd with a most lavish hand
The sea vieAv is not nearly so extensive as
might he Inferred. There are many not-
tages it is yet the custom to so designate
the sumptuous villas here from which no
part of the oi ean is visihle. Ami from the
Ocean Mouse, the old time hostelry, scarce
ly a vest Ige of water, except in the ewers,
may he . n Hence in alt likelihood Itl
name names being selected nowadays from
their total unlltness.
Ocean avenue, running at right angles to
Bellevue avenue, is much I he more invit
ing thoroughfare of the two, though less
conspicuous. The cottages on it have their
rear seaward, and the rear pia..as com
mand the best views of any here.
The noted ocean drive, which runs around
by the fort (Adams) doea not deserve lta
notedness. The road is not particularly
good, and a large portion of It is away
from the sea. Hut the lUmmererfl drive
over it, unless the v eat her be nnpft 'pit inns,
as regularly as they dine, and speak of it
as if it were another I ornicbe.
Some of the most attractive parts of this
Island it is not generally known that New
port is on the island of Rhode Island arc
seldom visited, the majority of people lim
iting themselves to the immediate entour
age of the old town and its summer addi
tion, much t he more important of the two,
The (dd town la decidedly interesting, hut
scarcely any one who comes here ever thinks
of It, lieing absorbed by the ihowy and pre
tentious modern quarter. Nevertheless it
had a century ago great commercial conse
quence, being a rival of New York and
bustling with enterprise and expectation.
Now it is but a fashionable resort. The
smart set think that it baa advanced lie
cause its members poaaaaall utterly, and,
it may be added, emptily.
This is often spoken id' asa bathiugplace
It Is such potentially, t hough not actually
to the summerers, especially to the fenii
nine portion, who never bathe. What a
horrible imputation on line, nice women!
The charge .would seem to be unpardonable.
What I mean is that they never bathe in
the sea those women at. least who consid
er themselves fashionable, and earn the
consideration by the variety and elaborate
ness of their attire. They are continually
putting on and taking oil costly gowns anil
their accompaniments, and tiiis involves
time and trouble, even with a maid to as
slst at the process. They are delighted to
dress and undress a dozen limes a day
when vanity and mode require, but not for
a plunge in t In- si ,t
j very body, even men, know that to don
and doff a bathing suit, particularly on ac
count of the itioktnese or salt water, is a
bother and a burden. Aral it may easily
be imagined why women, to whom self
decoration is t lie chief end of lite, are un
willing to occupy an hour or two daily for
a purpose t hat does not show, or, what is
worse, shows to disadvantage. They are
certainly justified, as they look at it, in
their objection to tea hatha
What is mos -Miking and alluring here
is the superb cot t ages and grounds, the gen
eral pageantry of the plaoe, the gorgeous
panorama, as 11 may be called, of the opu
lent colony. As a spectacle it is not in my
opinion equaled at any resort at home or
abroad not at Brighton, Trouville, Nice,
Wiesbaden, Hamburg or Bad en-JBadeo in
their must dMlllug sea on. Whatever
money, taste, st udy, contrivance, social am
bition or seltiidi rivalry tan do for outward
resplendence is dune here to the utmost. It
is well worth seeing, very impressive, full
of suggestiveness. He who wishes to ad
mire it should accept its appearance; should
not look Iwlow 1 he surface; should Dot at
tempt analysis. Tbia might sj .oil the flavor
of toe exhibition and alter OUT opinion of
The panorama .uoks beautiful, though
much of Its interior is ugly, even hideous.
Men who seem so brav e and self satisfied
are really alarmed ami discontented. Wom
en who seem enviable and happy Bre con
sumed with h earl burn in l's ami wretched
ness. It is ail a show; a splendid show,
but only a show. Newport i- a small world
in itself, hollow, aching, meretricious,
mostly devoid of simplicity and sincerity
the principal virtuis of wholesome exist
euce. In such a circle these are impossible.
Those acquainted with the colony are
aware to what an exu-nt it is seamed with
gossip, generally false, often malicious, not
seldom true. Women iiicel , embrace, pay
mutual compliments, ami yet hate one an
other cordially. They are wall bred, as
the phrase guts, and breading onnooali
what is diaagreeable or painful. Bah lad
the brilliant gae and the s cet Hi.ile the
fever flushes and the cancer litrk
port is an epitome of the World.
It is hard for any one outbid,
gilded ring to comprehend how if
bers can take pleasure in euittinu.i
the artificial, fast, furious, who.
wholesome life 1 hey lead in town
And they mime it rest and recreation in uncon
scious irony. It might la- supposed that
they would tire to dissolution of the inces
sant round of gayetj, makebelieve and
dissipation. But they do not, apparently,
though the death of many may be justly
charged to society. What iron constitu
tions, what elastic lyetl ins they must pus
sc&s, after till! ."so incessant a chase uf
folly is enough to kill a giant, ami seem
ingly delicate women survive il -season
While the habitues represent various
cities, most of them are from New York,
which in man)' respecls is seen here at its
worst. OlOM it a- yon may, this society is
at base a parade and panegyric uf money
put to its wor.-l uses. New Y'ork is the
best sellout uu 1 hi- :uut incut furlhedete
rloration and unmaking of American citi
zenship. .It sit s HhSKl BMWtl
Strawber I've got the best washwoman
you ever saw.
Singerly In what way.
Strawber llei 'customers arc all my size
f'luthier ami Furnisher.
Snunper I'd have you know I conn, uf a
Bichette You must bavi traveled a lung
distance. Tit Bit
A yiegaenl Occurrence.
"Do you meet your bills regularly?"
"Well, I should say I meet a bill every
time the mail carrier calls." (Jhicago Trib
une . ,
HIS GREAT SCHEME.
Hll gumlrr Wn Bad, Ml the Inkatand
Wm All Klht.
What ' asked a little man who entered
an up town olhYe abrupt ly. "is the greatest
expense t nnected with your living?
The oc nj ant if the oflk-0 skeined sur
ptisrd. "I suppose," he said after a mo
ment's reflect hut, "that It's a toss up be
tween grub and beer."
"No such thing!" Routed the little man
excitedly. "I don't menu excuses for food
and drink. I mean other ami seml-extrane
on- expenses, so to speak. Think, now,
wh.t' 1 the greatest expense connected with
The occupant of the ofllce wrinkled his
forehead. At last he Mid, "Speaking semi
extraiieoiisly, to follow your suggestion, I
should say It was tolntcco."
"Nol nol" almost shouted the little man,
"It is not 1 see that you don't know, 1
will tell you. It is clean shirts and collars
The OOOUpant of the office looked sur
prised. I don't believe It." he said forcibly.
' Hut it Is. " Instated the little man, "and
I'll prove it to you. Mind you, I mean ex
pense that Is unnecessary, Now, unlasa you
neglect the ootnmoneet laws of decency,
you wear at least two clean shirts a week.
You average six culhirs a week and half as
many pairs of cuffs, to say nothing of the
Other clean clothes that you wear. This is
all wrong. The money that a man spends
in thifl way oaii be saved I know a plan
whereby your laundry will last in days aft
er It returns roftt the shop and ls as clean
as when you put it on."
The occupant of the office looked inter
ested. "That w ould he a sav ing." he said.
"Saving'" continued the little man, "it
would be a godeeitd. The institutions that
are sapping the tlfeblood of this country
are the laund "lea. I propose to fix things
so that a 1 tl shall be stopped. I will tell
you t his secret for $5."
The occup' t of the off! 01 smiled incredu
lously. "I won't venture that much on it,"
"I'll do it for 18.50," said the little man.
"Olmme a quarter?"
"Yep!" said the occupant of
"I'll play a quarter against it."
He handed over a quarter.
the office .
man clutchetl it greedily. 1 have agreed
to tell you a secret which will preserve your
laundry in all its pristine whiteness for 10
davs after it has been done up," he said.
The little man edged toward the door.
Keep it in the bureau drawer and don't
wear it ! he shouted, with his hand on the
"Huhl"aaid the occupant uf the office,
with a sickly smile, "that's a pretty low
down little bunko." The little man had
slipped out into the hall anil was making
for t he elevator. The occupant of the ofllce
stuck his head out and shouted, "Say!"
I'he little man turned and placed his lin
gers derisively on his nose. "Say!" shout
ed the occupant of the oiliee again, "I just
thought I d tell you that that quarter is
"Well!" Shouted the little man in reply,
"there ain't nothing the matter with this
silver inkstand I got on yuurdesk."
Then he vanished down the stairs, and
the occupant of the offloe has been so cne-'s
ever since that his wife talks uf divurce.
lie Suspected au A1.
"Oh!" she exclaimed as she entered tie
police station in a state ol great anxiety,
"you will help me. won't your"
The ulliccr in charg.' assured her that he
Would if it was in his puwer.
"1 have just met with a great loss," she
"What was it t"
"Diamonds. J had just finished rehear
"Are you an actress?"
"And lost your diamonds!'"
"Excuse me, ma'am, hut you're in tiie
wrong place. This is police headquarters.
It isn't any newspaper offloe." Washing
The Same Then as Now.
Here is an extract from the diary uf a
lady uf fashion of the hist century 'which
has the note of complaint of the present
"Our streets arc not wide enough for the
carriages, nor the week long enough for
one's engagements. There isn't enough
money or enough time to spend it in. In
short, such a mess." Boston Transcript.
Spencer I see that the latest i.trong man
is able to break a quarter in two pieces.
Ferguson He must have been out of
sorts the other day when I saw him at the
Spencer Why sol1
Ferguson Somebody asked him to break
a $S bill, and he could not do it. Life.
Daughter I had to stand in the street
car nearly the whole distance.
Mother Such innocence! If you had sim
ply stood on some gentleman's toes, he
would have given you a seat. New York
"Mr. Editor, I am told you called me a
swindler in a recent issue of your paper!"
"No, sir, we only print the very latest
news!" 1'Tiegende Blatter.
The Man Who Brings the Ice.
The man with the melon is welcome still.
And the nisu with the cream Is nice.
Bui the mellow fellow who fills the bill
Is the man who brings the lee.
Who drops it there
In h ten cent slice
And cools the air
As he hollers, "Ice."
Ills rumbling wagon the children know.
And "Isn't he good and nice!"
They cry, us scampering out they ko
For a chat with the man with ice.
Kuch outatretohed hand
(lets a little slice;
Oh, It'- lair;, laud
When the man brinifs icel
The bone thut he drives looks wet and couL
Bis wagon, of rude device.
The heat divides with lis freezing sides,
A-drip from the blocks of h e.
Ami bale and there.
As he saws a slice,
He cools the air
With his "Ice! Ice! Ice!"
So the man with the uielou is welcome still.
And the uiun w ith the cream is nice,
Hut Die mellow fellow who tills the bill
Is the mini iih the daily lee.
Who drups il there
In u ten cent slice
And cools t tie air
As he hollers, "Icel"
a final ueiier.
Mudiesun la budding tlctiunistj I hope
you liked my new novel. It has a happy
ending at all events.
Miss Stumbles (enthusiastically) Yes; I
was su relieved when 1 came to the last
The nineteenth cent ury will not end till
midnight aloudey, Dec IL iuou, although
the old quarrel will probably again be re
newed as U what constitutes a century
when it winds up, and thuusands will in
sist un a premature burial uf the old cen
tury at midnight uu Dec. 31, MM).
Wrought Steel Ranges, Chilled Iron
AGATE WARE (White, Gray and Nickle-plated), PUMPS WATER AND
SOIL PIPES, WATER CLOSETS AND URINALS, RUBBER
HOSE AND LAWN SPRINKLERS, BATH TUBS AND STEEL
SINKS, O. S. GUTTERS AND LEADERS, SHEET IKON, COP
PER. ZINC AND LEAD, LEA PIPE AND PIPE FITTINGS.
Plumbing, Tin, Copper and Sheet
DIMOND BLOCK: 95
H. W. McCHESNEY k SONS,
Honolulu Soap Works Go
42, 56 and 63 bars to case-
One Hundred Hounds.
Hard Times Mean Close Prices
To House Keepers.
If you arc in need uf any New or Second1
hand FURNITURE, RUGS, STOVES,
SEWING MACHINES, lite, call at the
I X L
Furniture & Commission House,
Comer NuiUUUl and Kine; streets.
All kinds, in any quantity,
bag to a Ion.
ARCO A L,
From 1 bag to any quantity.
In 4 length! ami wl'I ur split, (run
l hag to any jii.ii.tily. AlSOj
WHITS MID BLACK SAND.
ts No. 414 on Koih Telephone.. VI
Typewriting, Enpssinir, Draughting.
H. M. MJ 8T,
Is prepared to undertake any husiness in the
ahove named lines. Office with Mr. K. A.
Jonei: entiance Merchant Street. 59 tl
- 97 KING STREET.
IL W, McCHESNEY k SONS,
loNOl.LI.U, H I.
A FULL LINE
,V . on I) .ind.
Per Evi i v Steamer and Sail.
Cheese, Lard, Ham.,, Butter,
Codfish, Milk, Onions,
('rackets, Potatoes, Salmon,
Macaroni, Com Meal,
Pickled Skipjack, Alvicore,
Hour, Grain and Beans,
And Ai.i Kinds of
Leather and Nails for Shoe
makers. BEAVEE SALOON.
Fort Street, - opposite Wilder & Co.'s
H. J. NOLTE, Proprietor.
First -class Lunches Served with Tea, Coffee,
Soda Water, (linger Ale or M'lk.
tir Smokers' Requisites a Specialty. i
Open from 3 a.m. rill 10 p.m.
Xo. 50 Merchant Stieel, Honolulu.
Fine mill from $14 up. Linen anil Ctepe
suits, $6. 50 up.
AI.I. SUMS GUARANTEED TO
FIT AND IN THE LATEST
Cl .ill Ml i
Lincoln Block, - King STREET,
Between Fori anil A 1 .1 1 ta Streets.
Groceries & Provisions
Fresh California Roll Butter and Island
Butter always on hand.
Frcsli (iutxls rtctivtd I'' tver)' Steam
er from Smi Francisco,
tv Satisfaction Iiuaranteeh. "
I'he Star now has the larg
est circulation of any evening
paper, and is gaining ground
In its nt:w form, the paper
will print as much reading
matter as any other Hawaiian
journal, and will report the
news of its entire parish with
freshness and accuracy.
Editorially the Star is an
outspoken and consistent ad
vocate of annexation to the
The paper will be delivered
at any house in Honolulu for
50 cents per month.
flcncritl Jltnirrt dement 9.
H. S. TREGLOAN & SON,
Merchant Tailors !
OFFER TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC THEIR LARGE
AND COMPLETE STOCK OF
Fore'n Woolens for
AT 20 PER CENT DISCOUNT FOR CASH,
Business Suits Reduced to Twenty-two Dollars and 50 Cents
Business Pants Reduced to Six Dollars and 50 Cents.
Lemonade Works Co,
Lemonade, Soda Water,
Ginger Ale, Hop Ale,
A Trial Order Solicited
BENSON, SMITH & CO.,
H. E. MclNTYRE & BRO.,
IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN
Groceries, Provisions and Feed
EAST CORNER FORT AND KING STREETS.
New Goods received by every Packet from the Eastern States and Europe.
Fresh California Produce by every steamer. All orders faithfully attended to, and
Goods delivered to any part of the cily frre of charge.
Island Orders solicited. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Post Office Box No. 145. Telephone No. 92.
On Alakea and Richards near
Doors, Sash, Blinds, Screens, Frames, Etc.
TURNED AND SAWED WORK.
fcy Prompt attention to all orders.
SpriD & Suimer
& Hotel Sts.
Honolulu, H. I.
Etc., Etc., Etc.
Queen Street, Honolulu, H.I.