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Kan sas World. VmutIt 0U1HPUI lirMrr, "S stock fumum thi um or owa moustwo. ' rri'wfmr OirTj" J " uj.jas EIGHTEENTH YEAR. WA-KEENEY. KANSAS, SATURDAY OCTOBER 3, 1896. NUMBER 31. TALK WITHOUT A STING. Soma -Things Soon and Heard. In Northern Michigan- Uapr. jmdiei Katlaaate of On Jew lab reUsw-Cltixsiu Keooonlol That Mart tbe Kye. Special Letter. Usually the first man 1 meet when way from home is a Jew. But as I have a great admiration for the Hebrew race these meetings are by no means disagreeable. I admire the Jews be cause they possess the knack of adapt ing" themselves to conditions and cir cumstances, and because they know how to live. Several years ago I be came a convert to their theory that a man's food influences his mental and moral condition. And observation has strengthened my faith in this doc trine. The Jews eat the choicest food, -as soon as they have the means to buy it. Note the result. Instead of having remain in bondage and mere workers for wages they have become the prime movers in magnificent enterprises and give employment to tens of thousands of gentiles. While I admit that native shrewdness has had much to do with Jewish success - here and abroad, yet I am firm in the belief that good cooking and the wise selection of food products has been quite as important a factor. Still another cause of the phenomenal progress made by the Hebrew race since its emancipation from bondage is its love of travel. A Jew never stagnates. ither commercially or socially. When business is dull in one town he moves to another. When the society of his Abiding place tires him he takes his family to a summer or winter resort. Too Many Chrtottaiu by Four. The oft-repeated statement that half of our pleasure resorts would have to be closed should the Jewish population . withhold its patronage received con vincing -emphasis in my mind during a summer trip through northern Michi gan, a section of the country which has developed into a veritable Mecca for recreation seekers. The large hotels at retoskey. Harbor Springs, Mackinaw and Mackinac island entertained hun- ' "TOO MANY CHRISTIANS." . lreds of representative Hebrew fam ilies, hailing from Chicago, Cincinnati. XxsaSsville, New Orleans and other southern points. In some hostelrics ' "they formed the majority of guests, notably in one inn at Petoskey where a genuinely American face was hard to discover. Coming down in the train . from Charlevoix I overheard a conver sation between two clothing manufac turers from Cincinnati, one of whom had been to Petoskey. which, although a trifle ancient, hit the nail exactly en the head. "Veil, Israel," said one, "how's things at the Blank hotel at Pedoskey?-' "All right, Ikey," re sponded the other, "only dere's too many Christians there. I met four of 5em in de corridor yesterday morning." The first time I heard this story it was " applied to Long Branch, but as it fits the Blank hotel at Petoskey equally well, we will let it go without further com. meit atleai Potmto Planting;. Once upon a time I read that Scots , and Swedes were exactly alike in one re spect total lack of the sense of hu- . xnor. The man who originated this statement must have been a dull ob server indeed, for some of the brightest witticisms I have heard were of Scotch origin, and Gas Heege, in his clever ' Swedish-American plays, has succeeded in proving that Swedish hnmor is worth at least a smile. Ole Olson has done more than his share to convert Michi gan's great wilderness of stumps into a huge potato patch, and one of the fam- .ily at least has used his wit to great , pecuniary advantage this summer. Sven struck Mecosta county some time in April and made arrangements with a land owner to plant a large field of po tatoes "on shares." He was to furnish half the seed and all the work. The seed cost him eight cents a bushel, and irew heavily on his savings; but When he looked at the large extent of soil to be worked his heart almost failed him. However, instead of giving up in despair, he studied Mecosta county na- , turc and then proceeded to invite all of his neighbors to meet him on his - "patch" on a certain Monday morning -for the purpose of partaking of some liquid refreshments. His guests ar rived on time, and so did three kegs of beer and e lot of agricultural' imple ments. Sven asked his neighbors to . hitch their horses to the machine and Hp ' give Bim "1'ft" with his potatoes be fore 'indulging in the amber fluid. By five o'clock all his seed had been planted and all the beer had been consumed. "But do yon think," said I, when he had told me his story, "it was hospita ble to make your guests work like laves?" """H'm." responded Sven; "if dey ben fool enough to do de work. Ae yust ben fool enough to spend trev dollar for beer." Now I contend thai this Swedish peasant has not only lota of humor in his make-up, but enough shrewdness to accumulate a compe tency, no matter how discouraging con ditions and circumstances might be. Where Kstnn 1 m la Hoornlnc. An artist in search of a landscape de picting "Desolation" could find plenty of material in northern Michigan. After 'RNV. THE GIANTS OF THE PAST. having traveled over the rich prairies of Illinois and Iowa and through the pic turesque valleys of New York my heart almost bled when, for the first time, my eyes beheld mile after mile of coun try covered with nothing- but rank grass, sand and stumps. Where a few years ago stately hemlocks and giant pines had invited man to worship his Creator nothing remained but decay ing roots and here and there a leaning trunk scorched by forest fires. Every thing else man, in his greed for gold and without a thought for posterity, had de stroyed. . Towns which once contained hundreds of busy inhabitants, stores and dance houses, were deserted, save by the few who had not the means to get away. The busy sawmills were moved to other points where the work of de struction promised fresh returns to con scienceless capital. Occasionally namilU potato patch in the sand, laboriously cultivated around gigantic stumps, bore testimony to the industry Of the few remaining inhabitants of these deserted villages, but otherwise all was desola tion a picture of want, a sermon on the. thoughtlessness of man and th shortsightedness of greed. Where hun dreds could have dwelled in affluenet for generations, had the stock of lum ber been husbanded, a few now struggle along on the borderland of starvation. The lumberman became a millionaire in a year or two. the paupers are pauper still, and the farmer has to spend year in clearing land which, after all, prom ises but lean returns for his hard toiL 8trmnd.fi in a Desert.fi Town. Sven. the Swede whose potato-planting experience testifies most signifi cantly to his thrift, accompanied me to one of these deserted lumber towns, lo cated on the shores of a beautiful lake. The first man we met was a middle aged native mechanic who, in the palmy days, had had charge of an engine in the woods. His tale of woe was Datbetic. in a way. He had worked at "lumber ing" for many years. "Work was al ways plenty," said he; "for 12 years 1 never earned less than $3.75 a day and for a year or more I got 57-50 a day. But lumbering is dead now. I can't get any work and I haven't enough money to get away. Don't you think that's rather hard lines?" I didn't an- STRANDED AFTER THE BOOM, wer his question, but Sven remarked, sententiocsly: "Ef Ae ben earning tree dollar seventy fli cents a day for ten yare, Ae not have to etay here an' ben catch bullhead to keep from starv ing" Sven took the words- out of my mouth. Any working-man who earns aa much as this man had earned, and has not enough good American secse to make himself comparatively independ ent in 12 years, is not a worthy object for sympathy, although we may pity his wife and helpless children. O W WKIPPIERT. They All Do It. "I wonder why she screamed when I kissed her." "Force of habit, I suppose." Test a Topics. ------- - - l whche nto(H hJt WHITE HOUSE GOSSIP. Perquisites and Pleasures of Oar Chief Magistrate. Cauda Sam Fays for Hla Batter aaa Bla Uoaa.lca.Bar, Hat Ha Hal as See His Bub Oat at Hla Owa rocket, Special Washington Letter 1 Although considerable was recently told in a special letter concerning the routine life, the salary and expenses of the president of the United States, there are many other interesting de tails concerning the chief magistracy, and the perquisites and pleasures of high official position. In the first place, the president is given a handsome residence called the executive mansion, but more commonly known as the white house. It is really a white honse. constructed of pure marble. Moreover, the grounds sur rounding the presidential residence are ample and beautiful. The lawns, trees, flowers, fountains, conservatory and house furnishings are supplied and cared for at the expense of the government. One of the funny things during the taking of the census of 1890 was the offi cial return made by President Harrison. He filled out the regular blank, declar ing that he was a citizen of the United States, a lawyer by profession, that he was temporarily residing in Wash ington, that his income was $50,000 per annum, and that it was sufficient to support his family. He also certified that the house in which he resided was "not mortgaged." Although the expenses of state din ners are paid out of the president's sal ary, all of the table equipments, in cluding the silver, glassware, china, mirrors and floral decorations are fur nished by the government. Congress provides appropriations to replace worn out or broken furniture, linen and other household necessities. During the Hayes administration a china dinner set was paid for by the government, and it cost S5.0OO. The white house butler and housekeeper are paid for by the govern ment, but the president is obliged to hire his own cook and other household servants. The butler is usually called the stew ard, and he receives a regular salary for looking after the domestic affairs of the executive mansion. He buys the ice, coal and groceries, and also attends to the marketing. He sees to it that the gas and electric lights are always in order, so that the president is thereby relieved of many little household de tails which were originally looked after by Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Jackson and their successors down to the time of President Polk, who first induced the congress to make an appro priation for a white house butler. This official is also an important functionary in that he relieves the wife of the presi dent of many details of housekeeping which ordinarily would fall upon the mistress of the mansion. The housekeeper is paid a regular sal ary by the government, and it is her duty to superintend the chambermaids and supervise the minor details of house keeping. She sees to it that the kitchen and dining-room are kept in order; that the meals are served on time; that the president's lunch is served in the dining room, the cabinet room, in his private office, or in the library, wherever he may choose to have it brought. Presi dent Arthur and President Cleveland have often had their lunches served where it was most handy for them to partake, while attending to pressing business. In order that you may under- THE WHITE HOUSE COOK. stand this little household irregularity, you must understand that it takes five minutes or more to go from the busi ness part of the mansion to the dining room, and sometimes the president has not five minutes to spare in the middle of - the day. Tt does not. often happen, but when it does occur, the lunch must be served wherever the president wants it served. The housekeeper also sees to it that the linen is aired, the beds made and rugs shaken, and the carpets kept perfectly clean. Inasmuch aa she is obliged to look after the red parlor, blue parlor, east room and other por tions of the official and public part of the white house, as well as the resi dence portion, the housekeeper is - a pretty busy woman, and earns her sal ary. ' The congress makes an annua appro priation of $8,000 for the stationery, telegrams and other contingent ex penses; and that is seldom a sufficient sum for the payment of all contingent expenses, ao that sometimes the presi dent is obliged to use his private funds for library books and other contingent expenses, which are necessarily inci dent to his office, and in no sense per sonal to himolf One of the best presidential per quiaites is the steam yacht which is placed at the disposal of the president by the secretary of the navy. For many yean the Dispatch has been used by presidents for recreationary trips, but President Cleveland prefers the light house tender Violet, a little boat which cannot only traverse the Atlantic coast, but can run into shallow creeks and bayous where good hunting abounds. President Arthur and President Harri son often used the Dispatch for cruises around Chesapeake bay. and occasional ly for trips to New York and the New Bngland coast. The Tallapoosa was a swift sloop which was often used by President Hayes; b'ut the Tallapoosa was sunk in collision with a Yankee fishing smack off the Massachusetts coast, and the Dispatch has been the official yacht for the presidents ever since. Do you remember that when Harrison was president he had a grandson named HE PACIFIED THE KID. Benny MeKee? He was no brighter and no better than other little boys, but the newspapers were filled with lauda tions of Baby MeKee, and his peculiari ties. One morning President Harrison went aboard the Dispatch for a trip down the Potomac, and took his family with him. Of course Baby MeKee was there, too. In compliance with the request of the employes at the navy yard. President Harrison came on deck and began to make a little speech to the men, when Baby MeKee inside the yacht began to cry and howl over some baby trouble. He yelled and yowled and howled, until he broke up the speech of his grandfather, who went inside, pacified the kid, and then came back to conclude his speech to the workingmen. When he went on his speech-making tour in 1891. President Harrison did not take Baby MeKee with him. He conse quently did not have his oratory dis turbed by competition with tho erratic lungs of his precocious grandchild. During the present administration the secretary of the navy has made use of the Dispatch for his own pleasure trips because President Cleveland preferred the Violet and the Oneida. If he were disposed to accept them, the president might have many per quisites in the form of presents from the people. There is a man in Connecti cut who sends a splendid turkey to the president every Christmas day, and an other for the New Year dinner at the white house. He has been doing this for a'score of years. It is generally under stood, however, that presidents will not accept presents, and the practice for merly prevalent is practically discon tinued. Once upon a time there was a Virginian who sent to President An drew Jackson a cheese so large that it would not go through any of the white house doors or windows; and Gen. Jack son had it cut out on the big front lawn, and invited the citizens of the little vil lage of Washington to come and help themselves. At that time there were no more than 15.000 or 20,000 people in all the District of Columbia. - The president who has a family and who loves his children must have a high appreciation of the spacious grounds about the white house, in which the children may play with abandon and in safety. The wide-spreading trees, the velvety lawn, the fountains, the flowers, are all surrounded by a high iron fecce and every gate Is guarded by a watch man. There children may play without fear of assault or accident, while the children of tens of thousands of other dwellers in cities must be cooped up in their houses or play in the suapeless, cramped little yards. The mansion it self and the surrounding grounds may be regarded as among the president's best official perquisites. Senators when in Washington have free shaves and shines in the senate bar ber shop at the capitol building; but the president is obliged to hire his own barber and bootblack. He has no per quisites of an unnecessary or question able nature. The fish commissioner fur nishes the white house aquarium with gold fish and other fancy fishes, while the horticultural and agricultural de partments furnish all varieties of flow era in addition to those which are grown in the large conservatoiy of the white bouse; but these little decora tions and ornamentive beauties are real ly the perquisites of the president's wife; for fancy fish and flowers are more pleasing to the feminine than the masculine eyes. SMITH D. FRT. The only knife the average man naa keep will not sharpen a lead pencil. He had just returned from an Eu ropean trip and was telling of hia ad ventures. ."And above all." he said. "I actually had the distinguished honor of playing poker with a king." . -.- The man in the linen coat bad lis tened in silence up to this point, but now his lip curled scornfully as he re plied : . - "That's nothing. I once played with four kings." "Really TT "Sure. Four kings and an ace." Chicago Post. SLIGHTLY FERSOSAX. a "Jobson, I do believe that- if you were given your choice between me and your pipe, you would hesitate." "That's where you make a mistake, Mrs. Jobson. A pipe soothes and com forts a man in his old age." N. Y. Her ald. CBftmiai atver Afterward. Genevieve Oh, Beatrice, did Charlie Chillingworth propose to you this morn ing?, Beatrice (blushing) Why, whatever can have made you ask that question? Ye yes, he proposed, and we're to be married in a year, if papa will give his consent. Genevieve There, I owe Charlie a box of candy! He bet me that you'd jump at him if he asked you, and I gave you credit for having more sense. Cleve land Leader. Linger lonatrLl HUK&j linger I Linger Ion; Lena Thee "SAY AU EEVOI3. Tbe Other Way. Julian I notice that you do not al low the waiters to dress in the regula tion swallow-tail. v Hotel Prop. No,' Indeed. - They and the swells looked too much alike. Julian Whose kick compelled you to make the change? The swells'? " . Prop. r-.No, indeed. The waiters'. N. Y. World. Soldiers Te Mother Ella, you have been playing all tbe afternoon with these toy sol diers. , That's not a proper amusement for a big girl like you. , Daughter But. mamma. I am not playing with the soldiers. I picked out the officers and played with them. Texas Sifter. Ctreaaeetaaeee -Alter (Jaeee. Gilhooly The chaplain of the house of representatives gets six dollars for praying only five minutes. - ' Gus De Smith That's big pay. Tve got a friend right here in Dallas who prayed a whole week for a dollar, and didn't get it. Texas Sifter stall Waltteg . "I am waiting, only waiting: Where the shadows do not fan, ' After Ions anticipating. For an eariy morning" call; . X am waiting; only waiting. , . . Where Jthe icy waters roll. Keep ma not anticipating." " -' Sang the lonely old North Pole. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Wit a. she unit Oa, "The kind of poetry that Swindurne writes is very erotic, isn't it?" - "Yea. it is. with the accent on the rot." X. Y. World. Wit ( tbe aayems T aa.tWi. The teeth of the old gentleman who was frequently late to breakfast cam together upon some hard substance with a thrilling shock. The old gentle man who was frequently late to break fast turned an injured glance upon the landlady. The joyous lunatic smiled cheerfully. "Madam," said the old gentleman, "as a general thing I do not criticise the victuals you see fit to place before us. but in this case I am obliged to. I have. I am certain, found some foreign sub stance in the hash." The face of the joyous lunatic lighted up; "No substance," he remarked, "is for eign in hash." Chicago Tribune. Aa X-Bmy Portrait. The artist knit his brow. "I wish to picture the heroine with a No. 12 waist." he remarked. "But where, in that event, is her liver to be ?" "Oh, I can make room for that," re joined the author. "I will just say that she has no heart." Thus it is to be seen how the muses advance hand in hand and are generous ly disposed to mutual concession. De troit Tribune. a Plausible Theory. "Since that fellow moved in next to me and is trying to learn how to play the violin, I have a new theory as to the burning of Borne." "What is it?" . "I'm satisfied that Nero was sitting at the front window playing a fiddle and some of the people in the block took to throwing bombs at him." Detroit Free Press. A Great sesame. Jones Yon say you want to make money quick? Smith I do. That's what I'm after. "Well, here is your chance. The shad lays 50,000 eggs in 24 hours." "Well, what of it V "Hear me out. Put your wits to work and get np a cross between the shad and the barnyard hens, and you can make $100,000 a day." Texas Sittings. Mach Cry and Mo Wool. Let does delight to bark and bite You've heard that same remark; But when it comes to fistic fight. The human pugs Just bark. Town Topics. BUT NOT GOOD-BY." A Bad Break. Doctor (after spraying the lady's throat) Madame, it's a pleasure to treat you you've got such fine control of your tongue. - The Patient's Husband Here, let's have your bill. It's evident you doc know what you're talking abou t. Cleve land Plaindealer. Very Well Pat. . ' "This, ladies and gentlemen, is the celebrated trick mule. Dot." said thet clown, aa the beast was being led into the ring. "After many years of effort. I am able to say I can make him do anything he wants to." Tit-Bits. - - akara Eyed rJshrra, He (indignantly) Those insultinjr church ushers put us into a back pew. She (calmly as a quiescent volcano) They probably noticed, that I wore a bonnet which I wouldn't care to have seen. N. Y. Weekly. A little drop within a rill That by tbe aun was kissed Was scooped In by an ice machine And frozen hard. I wist: "Alas!" exclatmed that little drop. "1 never wiU be mist:" VI. T. Press. Attractive. "Your wife wears extremely fetching jfowna, Pilkerton." "Yes, they fetch a bill collector to ray office about three times a week." Chi cago Becord. - Praetiee Makes Per Tact. "Does your wife speak good English ? "Certainly ; doesn't practice aiake per fect?" Town Topics.