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HE WAS UNBELIEVING
5? Work for Vncle Sam f CARDINAL LEDOCHOWSKI, ABLEST FINANCIER (t OF THE VATICAN, DIES AT ROME Kansas Notes STOREKEEPER REFUSED TO CREDIT TALE OF FISHERMAN. r ISTRANGER In the city of I I Washington, standing at the I a., I intersection of Pennsylvania I and New York avenue and Fifteenth, street, any morning ex cept on legal holidays, between 8:30 and 9 o'clock will observe a great many thousand people emerging from numerous congested trolley cars and ruahinsr hither and thither into this and that public building near by. If he should ask about them he would be informed that they are all government clerks employed in the various departments in the vicinity. They live, many of them, as far away as Baltimore, others have houses or One of the Census Girl, farms scattered through the pictur esque Maryland hills, while yet others seek pastoral seclusions beyond the historic Potomac in the rolling uplands of Virginia. Chevy Chase, the suburb that Cleveland made fa mous, contributes its generous quota of government clerks. The hour of nine Is signaled by the hoisting of the stars and stripes, which are run up over all government buildings, a token to the initiated that the United States government has begun Its daily routine of clerical duties, and the adiministration of official business. Like any private enterprise, the government is obliged to conduct Its affairs on a systematic basis. It is not all politics, nor congressional leg islation, nor appointments abroad. The enormous mass of work that is done daily consists mainly of the kind that is done in the great commercial houses. To do thi9 the government clerk is appointed, either through influence or from the civil service eligible list. Nearly 20,000 clerks are necessary, it would seem, to do the clerical work of the government in the departments at Washington. The work cannot be described with accuracy. It compre hends every system of office work known to civilized man. and a few systems known only to barbarians. The individual clerk is representa tive of the class. In a short time he has learned to keep his mouth shut upon all topics political, and he has little to say about anything af fecting the service as a whole. He will brag about the work of his desk and work himself into a state of pacific frenzy when promotions are in order, but apart from this he is a very lackadaisical fellow, noted chiefly for his languid listlesscess whenever he walks along the street or is not rushing to get to his office in time. - The subject of "promotion" is an endless source of conversation. It bobs into every question up for dis cussion no matter how remotely from it the main proposition began. Hand in hand with the topic "promotion" goes that of "influence." There was a time, long ago, say in the seventies or early eighties, when the word "promotion" was synony mous with "influence." The relation to-day, superficially, is very distant, but if investigation could be had, it would be discovered that the words are still united in a secret and power ful alliance. Under such conditions it is scarce ly to be wondered that the clrkj resort to all manner of subterfuges to keep their names on the payrolls of the United States. Between pay days they contrive to do their work, which in most Instances is little enough, and on the first and fifteenth Government Clerk in Action. of every month they line up outside the disbursing officer's room and await their turn at the loot. This is the time when you see the government clerk with a smile spread over his dull countenance. At other times he bemoans his fate but would not exchange his position for the same money in civil life, because he knows what it means three hours more every day. and work twice as great, without the long summer vaca tion or the month's sick leave with pay In case of illness. m The government clerk is of all forts and conditions. Just as his pro totype in the commercial world, bul after he has been- In the service for a number of years there attaches to him a peculiar characteristic whlcb you find nowhere else in men. His facial expression assumes a weariness, his clothes, his shoes, hi hats a slouchiness which Is unwar ranted in the light of his occupation His whole nature seems blighted,' and as one with some Incurable ailment he measures off the years with stoic indifference, being content to slouch along if the powers that be will bu' permit him to drag his lengthening chain until the day shall come whei his compatriots in office may gaze a his vacant desk and suggest that h worked himself to death just like t 'government drudge." The women clerks, or as they pre fer to be called, "lady" clerks, dresi well, and in many cases, elaborately They are different from the rest o: womankind, and the longer they re main in the public service the mor unique they become. They, that is the large majority o: them, are presumptuous, impudenl and supercilious. Forgetting tht causes which gave them their posi tions, they indignantly wonder whj Washington official society declines tc accept them. The gulf between them and "socl ety" is the same as that between capl tal and labor both have their propel stations in the community, but th "lady clerk" forgets tnat oil will not mix with water. Among these clerks there is the eternal striving after the unattainable, the continuous effort to produce impressions that must vanish as the breath from1 a mirror. This leads to interminable contests in dress, finery of all kinds, and prolonged debate! upon the topic, "My influence." Women usually get into office either by reason of their pretty facei or engaging manners. There is t goodly contingent of widows who hav been given places in the public ser vice because their husbands have, met death while engaged in militarj or naval operations or duties. Com paratively a very small percentage oi the women in office have obtained "Pay Day." their places on competitive examina tion under the civil service. All in all, these clerks, female and male, regulars and contemporaries, are accomplished and similar in one respect they know how to kill time during office hours, and that time is killed not by doing government work. The Law of Recapitulation. The baby epitomizes in the four oi five years before he grows into a normal child the whole history of the human race and is therefore an in teresting object of anthropological study. Before he is born he passes through a stage in which he is a fish with gill slits, then through the dog stage, then through the monkey stage, in which he has a perfectly apparent tail. After his birth he represents man in his rudest stage, speechless and without a glimmer of intelligence. Then he passes through the stone afv, through all the phases of the de velopment of the barbaric man, until at last he reaches the upper plane of civilization. Biologists call this the law of recapitulation. How Two Minks Caught a Big Bass. While standing on the iron bridge that spans Salmon River below Lees- vllle dam, Charles P.- Murkett wit nessed a novel sight Sunday after noon. Two large minks suddenly dived down and soon regained the surface with a good-sized bass they had caught. One had it by the head, the other by the tail, and together they hauled it ashore, where they en joyed a full meal. It is a well-known fact that mink are deadly enemies of trout, but it is seHom they are caught in the act of fishiDS- Hart ford Courant. A Natural Curiosity. It Is not to be wondered at that a pearl necklace "collected by a de ceased nobleman" sold in London for $110,000. The thought of a decease nobleman wandering about collecting Jewels lends a vivacious interest to the most ordinary transaction as 4 completely disposes .of the theory that our period of usefulness ceases with death. Perhaps we should dispute the story had we not read it in a Sab bath newspaper that vast repository of useful and diverting knowledge. Criticised Reed's Methods. William M. Evarts once met- Thom as B. Reed in the Capitol at Wash ington, and said to him: "Mr. Speak er, I half vuspect that you believe a deliberate body is like a woman If It deliberates It is 'ost Cardinal Ledochowski, who was pre fect of the congregation of the prop aganda, and as such in control of the affairs of the church in the United States and other countries In which the Roman Catholic is not the state church, died in Rome. The cardinal was regarded as the Vatican's best WORE OVERCOAT IN SUMMER. And Brooklyn People Forgot the Heat to Look at Him. It was only an overcoat, but hun dreds of people on the bridge turned to look at it, the other day. This was not so much because of the season, for that has been backward, as be cause of the appearance. The fact that a man was inside of this gar ment ws not apparent till one came directly In front of It, and looked be tween the folds of the collar, when there appeared a red nose and a clay pipe. It was an overcoat of heavy brown fur, and looked as If it might have been worth $300 or $400 when it was new, while the man inside looked as if he might be worth 50 cents. His soft hat was smashed and shab by, his trousers had just been hemmed by a tailor's apprentice with coarse string, in stitches an inch long, and his general appearance suggested hardship. But he sat on the bench on the promenade and smoked with frank indifference in the face of the crowd that were turned toward him. And there was sweat on those faces, too. You had to feel warm just to look at him. Brooklyn Eagle. WILL ERECT STATUE OK BURNS. Scotchmen of Chicago Hope to Raise Memorial to Poet. The Burns Monument Association of Chicago has just accepted a design for a statue of the Scotch poet to be erected in one of the local parks as soon as the needed $20,000 has been raised. This fund is already grow ing at a rapid rate. It has recently been taken up by the Caledonian So ciety, which has drawn other Scotch organizations into the movement, and it is expected that the desired sum will soon be realized. Nearly $4,000 has been subscribed. Accuracy of Base Measurements. The French mission to . remeasure the Peruvian arc of the meridian has just completed the measurement of a base line about twelve kilometres (seven miles) long at Rto Ramba. A part of the base about four kilometres (two and a half miles) long' was measured on two different occasions. The difference between the two meas urements was seven millimetres, that is about one-third of an inch. The measurements were made by bars four metres, hat is about thirteen feet, long, placed- end to end. The discrepancy In the two measurements cited was about one five-thousandth part of 1 per cent of the length ured. - J BURNS financier, and was noted as having been made a cardinal while in prison. 'This was while he was an archbishop in Germany, where he was incarcerat ed for two years by Prince Bismarck for refusing to comply with certain laws regulating the church. His suc cessor has not yet been appointed. Lamp Boys of London. Owing to the new-acetylene lamps, which appear to-day for the first time on 1,200 omnibuses, a certain group of street characters familiar to Lon doners are lost from view. These are the agile lamp boys posted at vari ous points along the principal routes over which the omnibuses run. Their chief duty consisted in clambering swiftly up the 'bus and dexterously removing, sometimes while the vehicle was in motion, the old oil lamp, which is to be happily Been no more In our midst. The new acetylene lamp will require no attention en route and for the conductor to light up It will only be necessary for him to turn a small tap. Before the 'bus leaves the com pany's yard in the morning an official places a cake of carbide of calcium in a small slot Beneath the lamp and, beyond filling a small tank with water, nothing else is required to provide the powerful new illuminant. Westmins ter Gazette. Transition of the Gypsy. The gypsy has always been known as a horse-trader. Possibly h-s is about to change his business from horses to automobiles. At any rater a band of gypsies is this season traveling across the country in a gayly decorated auto mobile car. It is divided into three compartments, bedroom; dining-room and kitchen. The body of the vehicle Is painted a deep green and the running-gear is red. The decorations are: in gold. The chief of this twentieth century gypsy band is enthusiastic' over the automobile. He is able toj make fifty miles a day without any! trouble. As yet he is still dealing in horses, but his, successor may prefer to abandon horses altogether and to go through the country with a number of automobiles, which he will be ready to barter in horse-trade fashion. Worcester Spy. ' Millions for Irrigation. Britain has spent about $30,000,000 on the new Nile dams and other works for controlling the great Egyptian rivsr and making certain of the crops of the valley below, and that she has invested the sum of $36p,000,000 for iiTigation purposes in India during the last thirty years. A single canal from the Ganges cost $15,000,000; it has a total length, including tributar ies and drainage cuts, of 3,910 miles, and irrigates over 1,000,000 acres of land. These works in India, costly and stupendous as they have been, are regarded by the British as a profitable investment. There are 6,000,000 acres of land under cultivaon in the valley of the Nile, supporting a population of over 5,000,000 people. . ' Empress Tends Silk Worms. In the imperial courtyard In Tokyo stands a sericultural house, where the empress of Japan occupies her time in tending silk worms. . This season she turned out two bushels and a half of cocoons herself and Princesses Toyo and Kane jointly three bushels. The princess imperial assisted by her maids of honor has been successful In turning out cocoons to a large amount. Her fondness for sericulture was first inspired by the empress, though at present she Is so fond of the business that she has written a poem on the subject. To Revisit Battle Scenes. The Seventy-first regiment of New York militia is laying plans for an In teresting celebration next May". The regiment was In Cuba during the war with Spain ana It is the intention that next May some 350 officers and men will visit the island again, making a tour of various interesting places. If possible the voyage - ill be made In the steamer Vigilancia, the transport which previously conveyed the Seventy-first to Cuba. . iquire Bundy's Pleasure in Landing Fourteen-Pound Pike With a Line Spoiled by the Unreasonableness of a Friend. "The only surprising thing about he catching of that pike," said Squire Sundy, Sage of the French Creek Dead Waters, "was the aggravating tnreasonableness of Tom Agnew, who teeps ' store over yonder in the vil age, and weighed the pike. My fam ly had got fish hungry and said there nust be black bass for breakfast next, norning. So I picked up a pole and ine, jumped In my boat, and started rat to get the bass. 'Don't go and catch any of those rreafe big ones, now, and only catch wo,' my wife said to me as I pulled uL Two three-pounders will be plenty." "I said I would try to keep myself iown to two bass and though I hated o bother with three-pounders, I'd Iraw the line this time at any over that. "So I went to fishing. I had a rtrike before I had crossed the foam lall way. I saw when I felt him ltrike that he wouldn't weigh more .han two pounds' and a half, but it was yetting dark pretty fast, and I ladn't time to let him go and to fool iround for a three-pounder, so I hook Mi him and landed him. I calculated letting the other bass by the time I lad crossed the boom, but I had to Uop my boat, for my hook struck what I supposed was a snag, and I stopped my boat. "I hadn't stopped a second, though, tnd felt of my line, when I knew it vasn't a snag I had struck. There was life at the other end of the line. thought at first it was a pike, but when a French Creek pike feels the ook in its jaw it comes out of the water like a skyrocket, going up, and is nothing of this kind occurred, I :oncluded a mud turtle had snubbed n to me. I didn't care to have a nud turtle pull that line apart, go off with my hook, and cheat me out of hat other bass I was going to' get, so : coaxed him up toward the top. "He cams along slow and easy and when I got - him to the top I saw I lad been fooled. It wasn't a mud mrtle, and I made a grab for the snell ;hat my hook was fastened to the ine with, got it, and with one sweep landed a fourteen and a half pike In .he boat. He gave one turn over in Che bottom of the boat, and that little nove pulled the line in two like melt ng snow. The only way I "could ac count for that pike acting the way it lid when it got the hook was that it liscovered the rotten condition of '.hat lice, and - made up his mind .here wasn't any use of going to the trouble of jumping out of the water to ree itself, but that it would Just ome up to the top easy, let me see what a beauty it was, and then twitch 'he line apart and go back, leaving me 0 cuss my luck. But the pike hadn't counted on me grabbing that snell. "Well, of course, with that pike ia ie boat it would be only a waste of Jme and fish to get the other bass 1 intended to get, so I quit fishing. I -owed over and took the pike to Tom agnew's store to have it weighed, to lee how near I cad come to sizing it ip. Tom weighed the fish. It tip ped the scales at fourteen and a half pounds and one ounce. After he had weighed the pike and looked it over tnd admired It, Tom asked me what I lad 'caught it on. I told him and ihowed him the line. To show you qow aggravatmgly unreasonable he was, he looked at the line, and then at me, and said: "'You're an Infernal liar!' "And that was tfee only surprising Jiing I ever saw about the catching of hat pike Tom Agnew's aggravating inreasonableness." New York Sun. The Pedigree Maniac Of all the forms of lunacy one of the strangest is the mania for pedi gree hunting. The dtalls of the genea logical trees, of the Howards " or the Cavendishes have, of course, a his torical importance and are of Im mense . interest, but the pedigree maniac generally busies himself with much Bmaller game. Why any human being should exercise himself with the doings of the ancestors of Mr. Jones-Smoth, none of whom were persons of the slightest public or social importance, is one of the . un solved mysteries of life, remarks the London Tatler. In Ireland, especially among the "squireen" class, this par ticular form of imbecility is very com mon. Instances are by no means rare of men of great natural ability devoting a lifetime to the pursuit of endeavoring to prove that 300 years ago some particular ancestor of theirs . was in possession of a farm, of a few acres in extent, some years, months or days earlier that it Is stat ed In some musty annals which no sane human being ever read. . " Town With Many Historic Trees. Litchfield, Conn, has more historic trees than any other town In '.New England. Among others are two elms planted by John C. Calhoun, a syca more sf&d to be one of thirteen plant ed fcy Oliver Wolcott, signer of the declaration of independence add nam ed after the thirteen original colo nies, an elm which served as a whip-: ping post -in colonial days and a wil low tree which grew from a walking stick stuck In the ground by CoL Talmadge, the American officer who captured Major Andre, the British W- - ' . - The Smith County Journal reports a "bumper" weed crop. A real estate man out in Great Bend, the Tribune says, has for his motto: "Skin your friends if you can; your enemies won't give you the chance." "Jay-Buzzard" was the headline of a wedding . notice in a Salina paper a few days ago, from which it is seen that birds of a feather do not always flock together. - . - The merchant who hid his- money in a waste paper basket when he closed at night and the clerk who burned the contents of the basket when he opened up the next morning live in Pratt. During his long career as an officer of the law. Frank McGrath of Mitchell county has killed sixteen men and cap tured more than fifty horse thieves." The text book trust has been barred from Kansas by order of the supreme court until it .shall obtain a Kansas charter. A Great Bend boy was trying to ex plain to his best girl what Cuban reci procity meant, and illustrated in this way: "If I have no wife and want one, and you have no husband and want one. I offer you a husband for a wife. In this way we are each benefited. Now if I should, on the other hand, require you to pay me a sum of money to become my wife, you would object because you would say that I needed you as much as you needed me, and there should be no such discrimination. "You are the United States and I am Cuba, I suppose?" ."Yes." "And what is It that the United States wants of Cuba?" asked the young miss. "Sugar." A blush on the already crimson cheek3 denoted that he had made the case quite clear and satisfactory, and when sne next met her companions she told them how "cutely" he had proposed. Silver ingots weighing two and one half tons, and valued at $29,761, were piled up on the Emporia depot plat form a few days ago. They were be ing shipped to, Bombay from a smelter. Some one has discovered that a Russian thistle can be distinguished from any other weed by squeezing it. The Parsons Sun says this is also a good way to distinguish a hornet from a horsefly. A farmer In McPherson county has what he thinks is a sure scheme for exterminating potato bugs. He catches a few, ties strings around their necks, and hangs them from the vines. The rest of the potato bugs, says this farm er solemnly, take warning and leave the field. In making up the list of champion mean men one Brown county farmer must not be overlooked. A picnic party composed exclusively of girls, most of them Kansas university stu dents, camped near his place and swiped twelve ears of corn for lunch. The farmer went to town and caused warrants to be issued for the arrest rt ton "v Vk ntn Two descendants of the' Dymok family, the hereditary king's cham pions of England, live in Kansas. One is Mrs. R. S. Fillmore, the wife of a Marshall county physician. Her mother was a Dymoke. The other is Oliver Dimmock of Hr&watha, a re tired farmer and stockman. The Elks' base ball team in Em poria Is declared to be the worst in the world. The Gazette says it couldn't even beat the Daughters of Rebekah. Senator Burjton will leave in two weeks for Hawaii to investigate In dustrial conditions in the Sandwich Islands. Kansas paid out approximately 2Vi . million dollars to foreign life insur ance companies last year, and only $659,000 came back in the form of death losses. Secretary Barnes of the State Horti cultural society says Kansas will pro duce an unusually large apple crop this year. A Smith county photographer got two good pictures of a tornado at a distance of three miles. The twister is described as looking like "an ele phant's trunk let down from the sky." Eldorado by some gratuitous testi mony in the Morrison trial, wants to get out. "Why doesn't he butt out?" Harmon Wilson asks, "That's the way he got in." The state live stock sanitary com mission is alarmed by the prevalence of the Texas itch in Western Kansas. The commission realizes that if an epidemic of the itch is avoided it will be by a scratch. Beef has become so high out in Clark county that, according to Tom Cordry, the people' esteem it a great privilege to look at the pictures of cattle in the brand advertisements in the local papers. . The story is told that a Kingman county farmer has a row of corn twenty-five miles long. He started it in the middle of the field and then circled around and around, until he came out on one side. The corn is Persons who are prone to contem plate their own trifling troubles should consider the case of Hugh McCon aughey. a Cloud county farmer. - He lost 400 acres of corn, forty aeres of wheat and fifteen acres of oats by the flood. A month ago his big barn, that cost $1,500, was burned to the ground. His $500 horse died this summer, also. 3 Mr. Timm of Lyon county, who shot two bankers -who caused him to lose his savings of twenty years, has been released from the asylum for the in sane. ' Mr. Timm has now received two dividends on his loss one of 8 ser cent and another of 5.