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! : THE 'SCANDAL' OP-.SIGNA.'
BY WYLLARD. "Two thousand a year la not a great income," said Lady Jane, ironically, "Still, it rescues dear Noel from abso lute want. It was so nice of bis god-mother-always & nost unassuming person, too; indeed, 1 mistook her for the dressmaker on one occasion wben she came to caU,and I am afraid she slipped off my visiting list quite a year ago." . "That is a pity, since the whole fam ily are inclined to canonize her now I" said Signa dryly. "However, she does not seem to have borne malice, "s sbe has promoted Noel to the position of an eligible. "Hardly eligible, my dear! Two thousand troes such a verv little? wa v unless one lives in Bayswater or the country. Poor Noel!" - "Oh, I did not mean among us!" said Signa, with a laughing sneer and a glance out of tne window at the re spectable Sloane street trees, decorous ly dusty though Just in bud. "But possibly some young person in the middle classes may take pity on him now, even though it means Bays water!" Lady Jane glanced rather uneasily at Signa's straight young back, which was all that presented itself to her to help out Signa's meaninsr. And Ladv Jane was often at a loss to know whether Signa was in earnest or iron ical. She was beginning to think, with despair, that when her youngest daughter talked sense the sense of Sloane street and the duchess, it meant revolt, and would end in Signa doing some dreaded and unconvention al thing, such as wanting to take up a profession or refusing a really sound offer, for instance. Sometimes since his god-mother had behaved in such a really laudable manner she thought with a sigh, that even two thousand a year and Bayswater would be better than an awful scandal, of which she lived in terror. If Signa Innst marry a poor man. better Noel, wim woo somehow, so satisfactory to all the family, than one f thnn i,r,Q,. ono With whom the irirl loi;rhtnri . warm men and women into laughing, applauding human beings, not above joining in mat last swinging cuuiuo of the others, and one could seeeta seemed no more a drawing room in Pont street,- but - the cotton-heias or Louisiana. Lady Bloomfield's own high cackle rose high above the voices of the others and one could see the men drawing breath to demand an encore, even as she rose, flushed with the excitement of her success, from the piano, and she heard, all across the room the mana ger ask who she was. Two minutes later, someone brought him over and introduced him, and they stood by the instrument, talking quickly and earn estly so deep in conversation, indeed, that Sisroa would not be interrupted to sing again. It was only when she looked cast his broad back that she caught sight of Verney.nonchalant, eyeglass in eye, evidently not at all upset by her reckless interpretation of the notorious negro melody. "Yes, of course I will!" said Signa to the manager. "I should like it." and she nodded to : "Verney over his shoulder. Her smile was brilliant. Half London was in the stalls of the Bacchante on the great benefit night. and the boxes were taken by select parties who thought the auditorium a little public for the light of their presence. I was tickled to see the duchess levelling her glasses at Poppy le Merchant when that young lady danced the conger-eel-dance in aid of the charity, and admired the toler ance of her attitude. Lady Jane was in the box, too, and Sir Wilfred and sister, the one who married into the state; but Signa herself was not pres ent, ana, when 1 went round to pay my respects to her grace, I learned that she had pleaded a headache and stayed at home. The cause.I'thought, was not far to seek, as Signa would have persisted that she bad lumbago if it would have saved -her accom panying a. party of which the duchess made one. Batsburg had tacitly promised the Bracebridge of the Guards, who was sitting between Noel Verney and Mrs. Chiltren Hundreds, almost sprang up right in his seat. .- - "By. Jove!! he said. "Its Signa!" The house did not recognize her all at once and the boxes apparently not at all. But even the awful presence of the .- duchess and the appalling consequences which loomed in the near future could not restrain the men. They laughed "at every wicked point in the song and when he was off the stage they yelled to nave liiin back again. . It sounded as if the whole hall were one confused, imper ious demand, and though they did not call her by name, it was obvious that Signa was recognized. I wondered what she would do, and almost held my breath when the small ragged figure returned for a brief moment. but only just in signt at tne .wings. There was a growing terror in Signas eyes an expression most alien xo them. Either the passing of the ex citement, or the realization of her own daring, or else that clamoring audience, was terrifying her. She bowed hastily and pattered off, in spite of the cries to her to sing again. I feared the demand was too jirong, and that they -would force her to come back, and I turned to look round for Verney. But he had dis appeared, and he was not in the duchess box, though I looked there With fear and trembling. Her grace was still sitting, calm and smiling, at the front of the box; there was something ominous in her tacit refu sal to recognize what everyone knew. Lady Jane s face was like a mask; 1 DRESK GALLOXS OF WAXES. Practice Said to Account for Japs Hardihood. , - The NlchirNichi, a prominent Jap anese paper, in commenting on the re markable health of the Japanese-soldier in the field attributes not a small degree of his endurance and immunity from disease to his habit of drinking about a gallon of water every day of his life. The statement was verified by an attache of the Japanese treaty commission who studied medicine at Harvard and practiced at home. "The Japanese soldier is not ixr- mitted to drink much water on- the march. He merely wets his lins, rin- i his mouth, and takes a small swallow now and then. But in camp he drinks freely. A quart immediate ly on rising, more after breakfast; and several quarts during the evening. Of course it is largely habit. He has not studied the systems requirements "SHALL I COME TOO, SIGNA." frighten her chaperons. Lady Jane is a dear, good soul, but she is accustomed to be unwise in her management of Signa. She allowed her new approval of Noel to be read in the growing maternity of her manner. Hitherto she had been cousinly in her treatment of him she was not his aunt or that might have been her atti tude and when things looked very black in the matrimonial market she comforted herself aloud with his ad vantages. Signa hated the obvious. Her temper had been decidely uncer tain since Captain Verney had come into what she henceforth styled his "Bayswater income," and she sallied forth this very afternoon in a mood -that was ripe for mischief. She found it at Lady Bloomfield's afternoon crush where the Bohemian element was mingling with the severe ly social, and everybody was discuss ing the great ""Benefit night" at the Bacchante Theatre of Varieties in aid of the War Fund. The bacchante is a very superior music "hall, and that lent a zest to the way in which every one was buying tickets in aid of the charity! There was a fat man in a long frock coat standing in the centre of the group of the smartest women present when Signa " arrived. He was Bats burg, the proprietor of .the Bacchante and the originator of the benefit, but Signa hardly glanced' at him. There was no doubt that she was in a very bad mood indeed, and her eyes, roam ing about for some evil deed to prove this, did not alight upon Batsburg, as the special means arranged by the Powers of Darkness to help her. It was not with any thought of the fat man and his glossy curls in her mind that she sat down at the piano and volunteered a song. There had been music going on all of that after noton; but Signa's performance was entirely different, and everyone listen ed, and indeed, crowded in from the other rooms to hear. She has a singularly clear voice, strong enough to fill a concert-room, and trained by Da Capri. He never thought 'that his excellent training would go to help Signa. to give Lady Bloomfield's guests a treat such as that perform ance of "Hyar there! Clear the road for Lisbeth." They were a noisy, audience when Signa s singing had suddenly trans formed them from well-dressed luke- house a sensation that night, and we were all a little eager; it had not been announced on the boards, but had floated round society through the pri vate channels, and we kept asking each other who was this new star of Batsburg f The programme was as good as could be, but the performers were old acquaintances; and while we stormed the stage with applause after each item, all felt that Batsburg owed us a new sensation yet. It came between numbers 9 andlO an "extra turn" which was merely slipped upon the notice- board. -The band struck up a new air, a catchy thing that no one had heard, and yet, I believe, we all tried to hum it and then into the centre of the wide strip of stage left bare in front of the back-cloth a little ragged London gamin came swinging his impudent dirty face turned to the audience with the sang froid of his in imitable' breed. He stood still a min ute, and then cooly looking us over, he began to shy personalities at our comments that made the victim shout claim him a success. There was , no doubt about his reality be was a true arab, apparant ly brought straight out of the streets. without a dab of paint on him that could be discerned, and supremely jaunty and insolent. Probably, he was one of the boys who sold bogus programmes at theNside doors of the hall, or, for a few stray coppers, sang versions of the songs to be heard in side, and Batsburg had primed him up i" "i.6ui: me i rone rows or the au dience and discourse on their private "V u was gerung quite personal when one! concluded that urchin had been coached by someone who did know. Batsburg had been among these people for weeks in con nection with the benefit, and, though, his use of his knowledge might be in aouDtrul taste, there was no denying that it caught on-the stalls roared as each stinging remark, pointed by one jurrimgur came clearly across tne rootlights through the Jaunty Snddenlv the Tnnv tvmin tt rlan kind of double-shuffle and, to the air wmcn -tne Dana still played softly, broke into a' song, introducing the names of people in front of him. voice was a sweet, true boy's oy mat awrurEast SS"1! 2nd tt through the theatre loud and strong. Young thought Ladv Leamington was cry ing, but I could -not see her plainly. The next turn fell flat, though there was a gallant effort to applaud and carry it through. But so many of the men had vanished thatMt looked as if a wind had swept the stalls bare. -It was fatally easy to get be- hindr Thev were waiting for Signa. I sat out two turns: then I followed Verney. He had, as I suspected, left his place before Signa had made her bow, and . was waiting for her be hind. By the time I got round, the wings seemed to be full of men, chat tering in excited voices, and at a little distance stood Verney, cool and lanquid, talking to Batsburg. I heard the manager say, sulkily, "At the side-door-yes, there is a way round.' and I went then and there in the di rection indicated because I wanted to see the end of the comedy. There was a brogham waiting there stood unnoticed on the pavement un til! they came out indeed it was who opened the carriage-door. Signa had changed her clothes rapidly, and slipped away from her dressing-room while the men were still awaiting her in the wings. But she was crying bitterly, and it . so- much surprised me that I felt the whole scene a little unreal. Verney put her into the carriage, hesitated, and stood with one foot on the step. "Shall I come, too, Signa?" he said. -Her voice came out of the dark ness, muffled.'" "I am frightened; Noel!" "At last?" he said, quietly. "Well, I am not" "I thought it would be fun to scan dalize you!" "Do you mean that I was the cause this time?" "How dare you have two thousand i year ', said isigna irrevantly. nei ther of them noticed me. "So you thought you would fling your independence of my ' opinion at me once for all. and see if I could be scared away, eh?" "Something like that." "Well, you cannot. Nothing could. I am going to take the onus of the affair on myself from this time forth however, and tackle the family." "Will you stand by me, Noel?" Sig na must really have had a fright to say that! "There shallr be no occasion. They shall not dare to refer to it. Union is strength it is you and I together now. He Jumped intothe carriage, and I closed the door and told the -coach man "Home," because by that time they were past thinking of anything but themselves. Lady Jane confessed afterwards that the engagement was the greatest relief she had ever known. She had feared that it would never come off, because it appears that, owing to her blundering and excellent intentions, she had caused a breach between' them which Signa would nor-give Verney a chance to heal. Batsburg was an angel a fat angel in the disguise of a frock coat and his Benefit was the medicine that killed or cured. The amusing part of it Is that the Duchess has ignored-the whole affair, and as she has declined to acknowl edge what everyone knows that Sig na was the sensation of the great War-Fund Benefit she will have to go to tne wedding, on which occasion cigna will make her bow and retire from her war with right and proper uw , mjm. ivr we present. Quiets. Wit a Strong Faetor. Some of the noblemen of Europe owe tneir present positions and- stations or honor to the presence of mind and fore thought of their ancestors during ex tremely eritical moments. A hiccoueh. for instance, is the cause of the Kin- sitys- princely rank in Austria. It seems that during the midst of some great court function at Vienna the Em press Maria Theresa had the misfor tune to hiccough so violently as to cause, not only herself, but her court, great embarrassment. In the midst of her, bewilderment young Count Kinsky stepped forward, and with a most clever assumption jt intense tnortifica tion and humiliation, asked her nardon for his. breach of good manners. - The Empress received his apology with not only good grace, but gratitude, and be- rore long tne young nobleman was be stowed with high court honors and decorations. Another story i3 told how the Em peror Napoiepn III when out hunting one day, being a very poor marksman, fired at a pheasant, but instead hit General Massena, destroying the sight of one of his eyes. No one could doubt who had fired the shot, but General Massena turned round and soundly be rated General Berthier, who hed been standing behind him, which castigation Berthier at once accepted and appeared overcome with remorse. Napoleon was grateful to both for thus shielding him, and overwhelmed them both with honors and dignity. ' A TYPICAL JAP SOLDIER, from the physician's standpoint. All he knows about it is that be is thirsty and drinks to satisfy that thirst." Americans Use .Too Little. J "Tour people," he went on, "neglect their needs as a rule, in respect to both water and air. They do not drink enough and do not bathe enough. i would not say they are unclean; it is only that they are less particular in their cleanliness. It is a difference in the point of view. - The Japanese think a daily bhth the very least at tention to the body. Many bathe sev eral times a day a simple sponging, cleansing the pores and giving the 6oul a chance to breathe. And the air bath is equally a name xny peo ple- cannot at first live in the close American houses. They crave the freedom and perfect ventillation of their bamboo cottages." Drinking and bathing are .national traits. We be lieve that cleanliness of the internal tissues is as necessary to health. and comfort as cleanliness of the skin. The waste materials of the body are oftien poisonous. Thedr retention ts the cause of many sleepless nights, headaches rheumatic pains fits of indi geston. Water in abundance, inside and out, is necessary to every human being." Wash Inside And Out The Nichi-Nichi discourses further on the subject, stating in a naiveway the benefit of free indulgence in na ture's drink: "Health is a gift of the sods, and the way to health lies through the do main of cleanliness. As we wash our linen so should we wash our bodies inside and out. Water is the sweetener life. In its free use you shall be as sweet and pure as a mountain brook as strong as the lion of the sea; as broad as the wind-sweut rice, fields. You shall hold your head in the stars and your life shall be as peaceful as a summer aay. The largest pin factory in the world is not as has been stated, in the united States but in -Birmineham. Eng. where are 37(3000.000 are manu Jfactured every working day. All the other pin factories in England turn out apout i"ooo000. Bow to Become Disease Proof. It has already been suggested that the appendix should be removed from every infant as a routine measure. But this is clearly insufficient, -says the British Medical Journal. The surgery or tne ruture must include far more than this. The tonsils and turbinate oones of the nose must be cut out, be cause they may harbor germs. What Arbuthnot Lane calls the "human cess pool" (that is the large intestine), must be removed along with a consider able part of the upper portion of the alimentary canal, because it won't be needed wnen we begin to live on M. Berthelot's tabloids and pills. The too readily decaying teeth will be pulled out in early life and the eerm proof store variety inserted. The failing numan eye win De anticipated by spectacles in early youth. Deficient moral sense and degeneracy will be treated by ventilation of the brain and removal of the offending areas. Thus protected against the perils of civilization, the man in the coming centuries will be able in his Journey tnrougn lire to aery tne countless ene mies that seek to rob him of health sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. FRONTIER HOSPITALITY. CQBFEE DOES The Prairie-Dofc 'said to the Snake. -. " Tjrar home is my hole, prithee make, - Ill ask the 01 too, . And twixt ns and yon A Tattling good game we will shake." HURT llake the trial yourself leave off " Coffee 10 days and use P OST U M FOOD COFFEE in its place. That's the only way to find out. Postum is a sure rebuilder and when you cut out the coffee and use Postum instead, you get a taste of .health,-for the aches and ails begin to leave. You may THINK you know, but you don't until after thetriaL Remember . ''There's a Reason Get the little book. "The Road to WeUsriUe." in oach pke. THE RACYCLE SPROCKETS Like No. 2 Grindstone are Hung Between the Bearings Which Stone will Turn Easier? 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