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"Let's see your tonirue." the doctor said.
"You feel run down, I see; Just sleep eight hours of every day Ten dollars Is my fee." . . ""You may be riirht." the lawyer said. "But Juries disagree; "You "--tter settle out of court A Hundred is my fee." "W:0.u!d you rood." the preacher said. With pious seal elate. Just love your neighbor as yourself". And then he passed the plate. And thus Is human nature made. For in these cases three Jones gladly "pa id for good advice lie would have scorned if free. New York Life, 4 r?d30QC3CJ : (Copyright 1905 by He Bad poured forth his soul in pas sionate sentences which left him weak -and trembling as he waited for her re ply. Her voice was full of syrjipathy and -kindness as she answered him, but it "was firm and there was no trace of passion. "No, Arthur," she said, "it is impos sible. I like you very much as a friend and I respect you and admire .you, but I do not love you and I can not marry you.' The color left his face and the lines drew tight about his mouth. "You must, Nellie," he exclaimed fiercely. "I love you so much you "were made for me I I cannot give you up." "But. I do not love you, she said .gently. "And you surely would not want a wife whose heart you did not , iave." "Yes I would," he rejoined, "I want you on any terms. I will make you love me. I will find a way. Only Tnarry me, that's all." "Now be reasonable, Arthur," she urged. "You have so much sense gen erally that It Is most distressing to ee you go on In such a ridiculous manner. You will get over this no tion of yours in a little while and will find some other girl just suited for you and I will be a good friend, a ister to you always." "Oh, Lordy, not that," he broke in making a comical grimace in spite of . his distress. "It's too horribly trite and commonplace. Be a niece or an aunt or a grandmother anything but a sister. It makes me feel like the hero of a short story. The girls to whom they propose always become sisters to them." She blushed a bit and then smiled. "See," she said, "you are joking about it already. You'll forget all' about it in a fortnight." "No, not in a fortnight," he replied gravely. "Nor in a lifetime." "Yes, you will," she replied smiling. "You are no judge, yet. Men always think their first love affair very trag ic. This is your first affair, is it not? You you never were in love that Is, thought yourself in love with any other girl, did you?" He shot a quick, sharp glance at her and the sadness in his face was replaced for an instant by an expres sion of mixed shrewdness and deter mination well known to his business associates. But this was only a flash and the sadness returned to his face. "Yes, there was another," he re plied softly, gazing reminiscently into the fire. She .started imperceptibly and look ed at him searchingly. His eyes were still on the fire and she bit her lip in vexation at the involuntary feeling she had displayed. "Was was it long ago?" she asked in a disinterested tone. "You never spoke of her to me." "Yes, it was some years ago be fore I came here," he replied, "I never "She she must have been very beau tiful," whispered Nellie. spoke of it because it is a closed chap ter a sacred, chapter, and I never cared to resurrect it." His eyes were still soft and dreamy. "Where was it" she asked as indif ferently as possible after some mo ments of rather awkward silence. "In Michigan." he replied. "Before I came south." Still the dreamy eyes fixed on the fire. The girl moved uncomfortably in her chair. She resolved to end the conversation, perceiving her danger, but curiosity or whatnot was too strong. "Was she tali or short?" she asked. Yayj for the AdxJice . J Jjt Daily Story Pub. Co.) o on, ne answered with some thing like enthusiasm. Nellie was tall and willowy. "Short, and, soft ant: clinging. The color faded from Nellie's face She felt unreasonably hurt and angrj at the man and the northern girl. "Was she light or dark?" she asked as though possessed to drink the very dregs. "Light," he replied with fine enthus iasm. gazing into the coals as though be saw her. "Fair and dainty as Dres den china, with hair like liquid gold and eyes like a summer sky. Her cheeks wore a perpetual flush like a "I suppose a woman has a right to change her name." rose and her lips were like the rarest coral." Nellie was dark with flashing black eyes and an olive skin. "She she must have been very biautiful," whispered Nellie, her lips quivering. "She was," he answered, "and as good and true and sweet as she was beautiful." "You must have loved her verr much," faltered Nellie, fascinated by the light, which shone in his eyes as he contemplated the vision in .the fire place. "I did love her very, very tenderly," he replied. "Did she love you?" asked Nellie after a long pause. "Most passionately," he" replied, "The parting nearly killed both of us." "Why did you part?" asked the girl, leaning forward eagerly. "Her father resolutely opposed the union," he replied slowly. "He was an invalid and she thought it her duty to defer to his wishes and remain with him and care for him. She would not listen to any "waiting or my part, but renounced our happiness once and for'all." Nellie had risen and now stood close to Arthur with pale face and frightened eyes. "Is her father still alive?" she ask ed. "No," he replied, "I read of his death only the other day." "Why do you not go back to her?" she faltered. '"You ought to know," he replied, j rising and looking down at her ten derly. "The old love is dead and a new one lives in its place." The color swept back to her face as she asked hysterically: "Are you sure you love me as much as you did her?" . v - "More," he exclaimed passionately. as he held out his arms appealingly. She nestled herself within them and sobbed, hysterically, as she flung her arms about his neck:- "I suppose a woman has a right to change her mind. "Once, but no more," he answered. And the girl did not dream that the perfidious wretch was saying to him self: "First prize to me' as a scientif romancer." And she never knew that the girl in Michigan was a myth born of the ne cessities of Arthur's courtship. - - Repaired Wrong Covering. A man went into a chemist's shop and bought a bottle of some patent stufl, which was advertised thus: NO MORE COUGHS. NO MORE COLDS. -IS. 1D. THE BOTTLE Three days later he went to the chemist, complaining that his throat was stopped up and that he could scarcely breathe. "I've drunk all thaj patent cough mixture," he said. - "Drunk it?" yelled the chemist "Why, that's an India rubber solntio to put on the soles of your boots! London Tit-Bits. SHORT KANSAS ITEMS I Fire at Powhattan caused a loss of $8,000. Oil pipe line runs are averaging 3,- 690 barrels a day. Governor Hoch laid the corner stone of the Y. M. C. A- building at Topeka Saturday. Depositors of the T.opeka First Na tional bank are getting anxious about. dividends, John Higgins of Lansing, has been appointed parole officer at - the state penitentiary. A spider's bite . is believed to have caused the death of Mrs. Lizzie Lane at Burlington. '. Paola voted in favor of the munici pal ownership of the water and elec tric light plants. A firm of Iowa "tax ferrets" is pre paring to go after contracts in every county in Kansas. The St. Loojs & North Arkansas railroad will be extended from Selig- man. Ark., to Pitr'rurg. . Prof. Peasley, -the Atchison healer, who was charged with poisoning his wife, has been acquitted. Harvey Knauss, a deaf mute of Gar net t, walked on the railroad track with the usual result. The Kansas G. A. R. will render assistance In making the Pike Centen nial at Pawnee Vllliage a success, As soon as the necessary land is se cured the government will begin work on tne bis Garden Citv imeation Dro- The receivers report of the Devlin estate will be filed October 19, the date of the creditors of this estate's meeting. Mrs. v. J. Gardiner, a woman over 80 years of age, was fata 11 v burned by the explosion of a gasoline stove at Wellington. Mrs. Zuella Younger, a negress, was convicted at Leavenworth of man- s'"!rbtr for shooting her husband. Philip Younger. Joseph Peridottl, an Italian, at tempted suicide at Frontenac by shoot ing himself while brooding over the loss of his wife. Coffeyville has a second theater proposition on hand, which looks much like a scheme to kill off the first en terprise launched. The Hays City experiment station has made an lmnortant discovery of an alfalfa that will grow on the uplands of western Kansas. New banks are being opened at the rate of nine a month. In the last three months twenty-seven state banks have been organized. Nelson & Tipler's grain elevator at Geuda Springs, containing 10.000 bush els of wheat, was destroyed by fire. The loss will be 525.000. As a result of the new state depostt- ory law there is considerable suspi cion that former state treasurers have been pocketing about $15,000 a year interest. The Independence' Daily Reporter has enlarged to seven columns, eight pages, all home print: and is even wallowing in the doubtful luxury of a rea line. jeavenwortn win spread all over itself Monday with a big celebration of "German day." and the local brew ery is running overtime to prepare for tne event. The Topeka Elks are akel to head the movement to start the Mother Florence memorial. The rest of the people w'U ask, as usual, for a state appropriation. . The Topeka correspondents are now fattening tbeir strings with running every Tom, Dick and Harrv who shows ud at the capital for everything from dog catcher to governor. J. R. Koonts. president of a new north and south railroad, or something like that, tells the Hutchinson report ers that the road Is going to be built right away or some thime. Because of the increase In the week- lv. output of ore from the Missouri Kansas district the zinc ore buvers have succeede-1 In lowering the Drice $2 a ton.- The highest price paid Is $53. The first provisional reslment of ar tillery at target practice at Fort Rilev had all kinds of excitement, including the shooting of a horse from under its rider and then setting the prairie on fire. Dectective E. F. Pavev of Toneka picked out Hamilton Steele, a reporter "the man triat writ that Diece." and jumped on him. Steele promptly whipped the dectective to a stand still. Mrs. Richard Cordlev was rescued from drowning in the river at Law rence by a policeman. Mrs. Cordley had gone to the river bank left her hat and a note explaining that she was lonely and wanted to die. The Ottawa Independent-Journal, at one time one of the foremost ivw-s of Populism in Kansas, has suspended. The State BaDtlst association adoot ed resolutions in Parsons condemning lawyers who defend "jointists." A woman In Butler county declares that mosquitos can be overcome by means of kerosine. She says the mos quitos will fall into a cup held under them, or a cloth saturated with It and hung on the head frame of the bed will drive them away from the occu pants of the bed. Deposits of asphalt have been dis covered in Linn county. Slight -traces of asphalt are also found at intervals along Kansas avenue, in Topeka. Two Germans" in Atchison were dis cussing the high price of cabbage. "I dell you, dese caDpage is way up high dis year. Me vmd my wife puts up six or sefen or eight parrels-of sauerkraut efery year, yes. But ve can't do nt dis year, no. Der cappages .dey cost too much," one German said. "But you put up some sauerkraut don't you, Chris?" asked hi3 friend. "Oh, so! Yes. we put up some, not much two or t-t-tree parrels, shust to haf in der house in case of sickness, yes. THE JOKEK'S CORNER. WITTY SALLIES TURNED OUT BY . THE HUMORISTS. Mr. Jiggs Knew Worse Trials. Than Stretching the Truth Misfortune, Not Affliction Another Peace Con ference of Considerable Importance. Puttina a Good Fac Hn it Youne William eray had broken his nose by jamming it carelessly against another boy a fist. "Well." he said, as he looked at him self in the mirror. I d rather have a nose of that kind that one like J. Pierpont Morgan's. At a subsequent period,1 however, he avenged himself by making faces at the entire aggregation of English society. Just So. Higgs There are times when a man has to lie to his wife. Jiggs And worse than that, there are times when be has to tell the truth. The Cause of His Going. "Wow!" growled the old man, re turning to the bedroom, "1 stubbed my toe." ;Well," -replied his wife, "that's what you get for going down stairs in your stocking feet." "That's so. If I hadn't gone down in my stocking feet that young man of Edith's might have heard me and got away before I reached him." A Man of His Word. "I've been trying that physician you recommended so highly to me." "Ah! And you found him all that I said reliable In every respect, eh?" "Welir he assured me he would put me on my feet inside of two months." "And did he do it?" "That's what he did. I've just sold my automobile in order to pay his bill!" Accident on Uganda Railroad. The following Is an official report sent to his superior by the station master at Nimba, on the Uganda rail way: "To station Nairobi, from station Venani; From station master. Guard No. 2 'reports struck giraffe at' mile 158. No damage to permanent way or train. Driver states giraffe ran off uninjured." Another Peace Conference. The Rich Father "So you want to marry my daughter, young man?" The Young Man "That's the idea, sir. " "Well, I consent. That's settled." "Yes, sir; now we will consider the proposition for a concession of lands and a money indemnity." Papa Made the Roof. Little Pauline, after questioning her aunt as to who had made their house and being informed that Jim Welch had done so, replied: "Why, auntie, God made our house. God made our front room and our hall and our kitchie. but papa made ths roof." (Her father is a tinner). Magazine of Fun. , The Dealer Was Wise. Purchaser When yon sold me this horse yon said he was without faults. Now I find he's lame. Horse Dealer Well, lameness ain't a fault it's an affliction. Avoiding a Greater Expense. Giffle Jiggins must think a good bit of his wife. Spinks Why So? Giffle He gives her an allowance of $20 a week. Spinks Oh, he's foxy. He knows she could get at least $50 alimony. Wouldn't, Stand for It. 'Heerd there wus a big split-up in Ebenezer church last Sunday." - "Yep." "What wuz the trouble?" . "Preacher said somepin' ag'in to- backer an' Grandma Pankis. Betsy Haskett, Aunt Pmdy Williams , an' Granny Stubbs took their pipes an' went over to the other church." De troit Tribune. The Picture. I stood beneath a mountain crown; 'Twas in a picure. and a crimson glow Of light came from the west, the sun was down. Yet far reflected, from the crown of snow One parting ray crept to the vale below Where, with effulgency, its guldens beam Lighted in beauty a wild mountain stream. And while I gazed with thoughtful, dreamy gaze, A voice thus wispered from the pictured haze: "O. man! if young, hear not these words in vain. If In the prime of life take heed again. If old. while yet thy staff's incessant din Knocks at the door of earth to let thee In, Be it the effort of thy Journey's end To teach of this my mission to some friend. - "So tower thy deeds ere twilight's feeble ray Marks in the west, too soon, the close of day; So tower thy deeds that thy declining sun Shines on a mount of worthy actions done; And, like this picture, may thy life when gone. By deeds reflected, light some traveler on," Bingham Thoburn Wilson, In Four Track News. ' " Incident of the Civil War. A sort of family reunion at Magno lia this summer recalled an interest ing incident of the civil war and its sequel. Senator Joseph B. Foraker of Ohio and his family while spending the summer at Magnolia, received a mes sage one day from Mrs. Brantly of Atlanta, a relative who was stopping at Gloucester, inviting them to visit her. The invitation was accepted, for Mrs. Brantly, who is a sister-in-law of Congressman Brantly of Georgia, is also a second cousin to Senator For aker. George J. Foraker, father of Mrs. Brantly and first cousin of Senator Foraker, was a Colonel in the Con federate army, while Senator Foraker and his brother were officers In Sher man's army. Col. George J. Foraker "was wounded at the first battle of Bull Run and afterward became pro vost marshall of Atlanta. He held the latter commission after Gen. Sher man's army captured Atlanta. Senator Foraker and his brother, who were on the advance skirmish line of the Union army, often specu lated on the possibility of taking the cousin prisoner. One evening a for aging party from Union skirmishers reported to Senator Foraker's head quarters that they had brought in three pigs'hich they had taken on information from a negro that they belonged to Col. Foraker. The ident ity of the property furnished by the negro didn't satisfy the foragers, but Senator Foraker surmised something. Later he learned that the advancing Union army had overrun, the plant ation of his Confederate cousin, that the latter's family had fled and the pigs the foragers had confiscated be longed to the fleeing Confederate Colonel. Senatbr Foraker waited until he became Governor of Ohio and the sec tional asperities had been mellowed by time, and then made bold to write his cousin, who was still a citizen of Atlanta and prominent in railroad management. He recalled the cap ture of the pigs by the Union for agers, invited his cousin to visit him and promised on receiving a state ment of their value to remit for the pigs. The Confederate cousin wrote back, submitting an estimate based on "the price of pigs then prevailing" (in Confederate money) and added in terest. The bill was $16,000. Gov. Foraker replied that if his cousin insisted on receiving prices prevailing In Atlanta during waf times he ought to be willing to take his pay in the character of money that prevailed in Atlanta in war times. Gov. Foraker promised to ship to his Confederate cousin $16,000 In Confederate money just as soon as he could get that much together. - After this exchange of pleasantries came an exchange of visits. The two cousins were reconciled, If indeed they had ever been personally es tranged. CoL George J. Foraker re mained in Atlanta, where he died in 1S86. He was born in Ohio, but re moved to " the South and married a Southern, woman. His interests be ing linked with the Southern cause and inheriting soldier qualities, it was quite natural, Senator Foraker thinks, that he should enlist in the Confeder ate army. . Girl Saved Union Cava'ryman. "Yes," said the captain, "there were a good many romances bitten off short during the war. There was the case of. Philetus Wilson of the Seventy fourth Illinois. He -was acting as or derly for Gen. Thomas in the Atlanta campaign, and one day riding ahead of the column found himself inside the rebel picket lines in front of Rome, Ga. His uniform was discol ored by dust and mud, and knowing that Gen. Cheatham was in command at Rome, he made a dash for his head quarters. "He had gone to school with Miss Mary Cheatham before the war, and they had been very good friends. The thought came to him that she was with her father and that an explana tion made to her would make it clear that he was inside the rebel lines by accident," and not in the character of a spy. So be rode through to head quarters with a message to Gen. Cheatham. As he rode up to the house he heard Miss Mary singing "Bonny Blue Flag," and he went in without ceremony, -'..- "He felt, as he entered the room, that Miss Cheatham recognized him, and began with. "Mary, don't you know me? 'When she stopped him with, .'I do know you, but you must: not call me Mary, and you must ex plain at once why you are here.' He said that was exactly what he want ed to do, and that all he asked of her was to make her - father understand that he was telling the truth. Then he told the story and Miss Cheatham said she understood the situation. "She doubted, however, whether her father would accept her views. While they wei-e discussing the complica tions likely to follow Wilson's discov ery, a company" of rebel cavalry rode up and reported that a Union cavalry man had dashed through their picket line and had come straight into town. - it:i. v. i i . j . ! .. t uauu a uuise utiu ttiiiavicu iuvu at tention, and, begging Miss Cheatham's pardon, they asked her if she had seen a stranger lurking about head quarters. "Miss Cheatham could answer truly that she had seen no stranger, and the cavalry officer retired. Thereupon the young lady, greatly excited, pro ceeded to hide Wilson in a remote closet or storeroom, and he remained in hiding until Col. Dan McCook's brigade Occupied Rome. Meantime, the Cheat nam s had gone further south, and Wilson, recognizing Col. Fahnestock riding at the head of the Union column, reported to him and took up his duties again- at Thomas headquarters." Chicago Inter Ocean. Commander Tanner's First Order. The following is the first official order issued by Commander-in-Chief James Tanner: Headquarters Grand Army of the Republic. " Office of the Commander-in-Chief. Denver, Col., September 8, 1905. General Orders No. 1. First Having been elected commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic by the thirty-ninth nat ional encampment, held at Denver, Col., this date, and being duly install ed, I hereby assume command. Second Until otherwise ordered, headquarters of the Grand Army of the Republic are established in the Fendall Building, Washington, where all communications for the commander-in-chief will be sent, addressed to the adjutant general. Third The following appointments on the national staff are hereby an nounced: To be adjutant general, John Tweedale of Burnside Post No. 8, Department of the Potomac, Wash ington, D. C; to be member of the executive committee, national council of administration, Thomas G. Sample, Allegheny, Pa.; to be national patri otic Instructor, Allan C. Bakewell of New York. Fourth Further appointments will be announced in future general or ders. ' In fraternity, charity and loy alty. JAMES TANNER, Commander-in-Chief. Would Have Eaten Them. At a political meeting during the last Presidential election a young speaker, discoursing upon the civil war, patriotism and everything in gen eral but politics, told the following story: "One day, my friends," he began, "as the Union prisoners in Libby Prison sat around the question arose whether they - believed, despite their sufferings, the war should ' go on or not. To decide it they took a vote. Each man was given two beans, a black one the negative. A bat was procured and the balloting began. And would you believe It, ladies and gentlemen," dramatically shouted the young speaker, throwing his arms wildly in the air, "when that ballot was counted not a black bean was found in that hat!" After the applause had subsided an old Grand Army man arose and, turn ing to the speaker, said: "My friend, that was a pretty good story you just told. Of course, you were too young to be there, but I was, and I want to tell you," here the old soldier straight ened up, "that if we had those beans there that you speak of we wouldn't have wasted any time voting, but would have eaten every darn one of them as soon as we could get them into our hands." Eighth Illinois' Record. The Eighth Illinois Calvary was organized- at St. Charles, 111., in Septem ber, 1861, under Colonel J. F. Farns worth. It served in the Virginia and Maryland campaigns throughout the war. and- was mustered out at Ben ton's Barracks, Mo.; July 17, 1865, be ing ordered to Chicago for final pay and discharge. It participated in the following engagements, exclusive of its many small skirmishes with the enemy's cavalry Rappahannock, Yorktown, ' Hanover, Miechanicsvllle, Cold Harbor, Gaines' Mills, ' Dispatch Station, Malvern Hill, Pooleville, White Oak Swamp, Manassas, Barn- ettsvllle, Middletown. Bonnesboro, MUrtlnsburg, South Mountains, Ad- tietam, Amlsville, Barbee's Cross Roads, Fredericksburg, Chancellors ville. Little Washington, Rapidan Ford. Beverly Ford, Upperville, Will iamsport, Culpepper, Gettysburg, Ha- sel Run, Stevensburg, Brandy Station, Manococy Junction, Fort Stevens, Madison Court House and Morton' Ford. Capt. E. A. Worrell, president of th Veteran Association, enlisted as a. private in Company C. He now liven at Clinton, Iowa. A barefaced lie seldom lives long? enough to raise a crop of whiskers.