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It's a Picnic Getting Ready for a Picnic If Soa choose SpamA OEves Pickles Sweet RcEsh Ham Loaf VJ Loaf Qucken Loaf Fruit Preserves JeSes Apple Butter Luncheon Meats - Tf m mw. mm -r -mm m as Pork and Beans Ready to Serve Food Products InsHt m Ljbhy at J" grocer' LibbyMNeill & Libby Chicago SAT! did you ever have to leave the soothing influence of your own rattling radiators in the Big City and go romping oil to a rich relation's for the Christmas 'week-end? Well, don't do it. If you can help it, and if you can't help it get back home as soon as possible. When Uncle Gilbert Hawley sent us an invitation to run up to Hawleys ville for a day or two I looked at Peaches and she looked at me then we both looked out of the window. We knew what a wildly hilarious time we'd have splashing out small talk to the collection of human bric-a-brac always to be found at tJncle Gilbert's, but what is one going to do when the richest old gink in the fam ily waves a beckoning arm? I'll tell you what one is going to do one is going to take to one's O'Sul livan's, beat it rapidly to a choo-choo and float into Uncle Gilbert's presence with business of being tickled to death that's what one is going to do. You know nature has a few immu table laws and one is that even a rich old uncle must in the full course of time pass on and leave nephews and nieces. Leave them what? Ah! that's it! Where's that time table? Hawleysville is about forty miles away on the P. D. & Q., and it Is some burg. Uncle Gilbert wrote It all him self. Uncle Gilbert has nearly all the money there is in the world. Every time he signs a check a national bank goes out of existence. He tried to count it all once, but he sprained his wrists and had to stop. On the level, when he goes into a bank all the g6vernment bonds get up and yell, "Hello, papa!" When he cuts coupons it's like a 6heep shearing. He has muscles all oer him like a prize fighter 'just from lifting mort gages. When Peaches and I finally reached the Hawley mansion on the hill we found there a scene of great excite ment. Old and distant relations were bustling up and down the stone steps, talking in whispers; servants with scared faces and popping eyes were peeping around the corner of the house and in the roadway in front of a sobbing automobile stood Uncle Gil bert and Aunt Miranda, made up to look like two members of the Peary expedition at the Pole. After the formal greetings we were soon put hep to the facts in the case. "You see, John," bubbled Aunt Mi randa, while a pair of great green gog gles danced an accompaniment on her nose; "your Uncle Gilbert loaned the money to a man to open a garage in Hawleysville. But automobilists never They Rushed Nearly Into the got any blowouts or punctures going through here because there isn't a" sa loon in the town, so the garage failed, and the man left town in an awful hur ry and all your Uncle Gilbert got for the money he loaned was this car. We've been four years making up our minds to buy one and now we have one whether we want It or not." "Fine!" I said. "Going out for a spin. Uncle Gilbert?" "Possibly," he answered, never tak ing his eyes off the man-killer in front of him, which stood there trembling with anger. "What car is it?" I inquired polite ly. ... . "It's a Seismic," Uncle Gilbert said "Oh, yes, of course; made by the Earthquake Brothers in Powderville good car for the hills, especially com ing down," I volunteered. "Know how to run it?" "I guess bo; I was always a good hand at machinery," Uncle Gilbert an swered. "Don't you think you should have a chauffeur?" Peaches suggested. "Chauffeur! Why," Uncle Gilbert snapped back. "What do I want with one of those fellows sitting around, eating me out of house and home?" Now you know why he has so much money. "We'll be back In a little while," was stubbornness or appendicitis. Uncle Gilbert took a dislike to a brass valve and began to knock it with the monkey wrench, whereupon the -valve got mad at him and upset a pint of ancient salad oil all over his features. When Uncle Gilbert recovered con sciousness the machine was breathing again, bo he jumped to the helm, pointed the bow at Boston, Mass., and began to cut the grass. .. - Alas! however, it seemed that the demon of unrest possessed that Coal oil Coupe, for it soon began to jump and skip, and suddenly, with a snort, it took the river road and scooted away from town. Uncle Gilbert patted it on the back and spoke soothingly, but it was no use. ........ --v Aunt Miranda pleaded with him to keep in near the shore, because she was getting seasick; but her tears were in vain. "You must appear calm and indif ferent In the presence of danger," muttered Uncle Gilbert as they rushed madly into the bosom of a flock of cows. - . But luck was with them, for with a turn of the wrist Uncle Gilbert jumped the machine across the road, and all he could feel was the sharp swish of A Fly Town. San Vicente, Mexico, is a community of fly catchers. It lies in the Sierra Mad re mountains and its industry con sists in catching flies for a European market where compressed fly cakes are used as bird food. The Mexicans harvest their crop on a marsh which breeds millions of black flies some what larger than the common house fly. During the season the peons go among the swarms of insects with nets. Each catch Is emptied into a bag and at the end of the day the bags are emptied into a box which is also a press. A cover is placed on it and pressed down and weighted with heavy stones. After 24 hours the contents are pressed Into a layer. This is cut into six-inch cubes and dried In the sun and is then ready for export. A special tariff on the importation of theBe cakes is levied by Germany, where most of them go. The San Vincente community almost lives on this " unique" Industry. Technical World. Romance vs. Reality. "Ah! sighed the sentimental maid, "What Is so old as the lofty hills?" "I don't know," responded the matter-of-fact young man, "unle it is the nnlofty valleys." SHOULD COOL OFF GRADUALLY Mistake to . Tarn the Hose on Per spiring Team, Is the Assertion of Veterinarian. "In the hot weather there are al ways a number - of fools who think they are kind to their horses when they turn a hose on them and drench them with cold water to thoroughly cool them off," said a veterinarian as he stopped a driver from throwing water over his perspiring team. "If the horse is overheated," he continued,-"the shock "of such a bath on the region where the kidneys are sit uated is enough to kill it, and even If it does no apparent harm the horse will succumb much more readily to the heat afterward. After a horse has been working In the broiling sun it should be cooled off as gradually as possible. The first- thing" to do is to take a sponge and wash out its mouth. This removes the saliva, which is pot sonous, and refreshes the' animal greatly, before it can be allowed to have a drink. After this the horse should have its four legs bathed the hind ones as far as its haunches, the front ones up to the chest. Then it is safe to w.et its head, neck and the part of its neck immediately behind the neck. Care should be taken, how ever, to keep the region of the kid neys perfectly dry. This habit of driving a team up before a fire en gine house and playing a hose indis criminately over their bodies is ac countable for the death of many good horses every summer. Wrong Diagnosis. One of the promient clubs of this city gave a contract for the decoration of their building in honor of the visit of the fleet, and the decorator con ceived the idea that the word "wel come" spelled out in signal flags would be an appropriate and beautiful design for the front wall, over the entrance. He asked a naval officer for directions, and, following the code which said officer wrote .out for him, a very inter esting result was obtained. Judge of the surprise of the contractor when an army officer, happening by, asked: "Do you know what you have written?" "Why, welcome," stammered the decorator. "Not by a long shot!" said the army officer. "You have up there. To h with the army.' " Life. - More Important. "Fine feathers do not make fine birds," said the ready-made philoso pher. - "No," replied Mr. Growcher; "their responsibilities are greater. They are depended on to make fine human beings." Good Reason. "Why is the policeman looking at your wall so suspiciously?" - "I suppose he noticed It was cov ered with a vine that is something of a porch climber." - Has the Air. "That new clerk of yours seems to be an important person about here." "You are right." "Then he is Important?" "No. He seems to be." After a man gets about so old it keeps him busy trying to rectify the mistakes of his youth. ' And many a chap who talks like a wise man acts like a fool. WAVES HIGH UP IN RANK Sufferer From Effects of High Seas Was Designating Them as He Watched Their Approach. A New York man was crossing the Atlantic with an army officer who suf fered greatly from seasickness. On entering the stateroom one par ticularly rough day he found the offi cer tossing in his berth, muttering In what at first appeared to be a sort of delirium. "Stooping over to catch his words, the friend heard him say: "Sergeant . . . major . ". . sergeant ... major . . . brigadier general ... ugh, lieu tenant general . . . a-a-a-h!" "What are you saying?" asked the friend in some alarm, as the sufferer loked piteously up at him after his last gasping "a-a-h!" "Assigning the waves their rank," said the military man, rolling toward the wall again. "There have been eight lieutenant generals within the last twenty minutes." Shocking and Inexcusable Waste. "The plaintiff in a recent suit for di vorce," related the simp, "declared that he awoke in the night to find his bed soaked with alcohol and his wife hunting for a match!" "Ar-r-r-r!" grumbled DeLeary M. Trimmins, "that was a heck of a way to waste alcohol, wasn't It?" Kansas City Star. Did Not Hate Him That Bad. "I was telling Titewad this morn ing that shells for a 12-inch gun cost f 500 each." "Well, what about It?" "He said he wouldn't shoot one of those at his worst enemy." His Natural Mistake. "You criticize us," said the Chinese visitor, "yet I see all your women have their feet bandaged." "That is an epidemic," It was ex plained to him gently, "which broke out In 1914. Those are called spats." Heroes have to wade through a job lot of trouble to get a reputation. But you can never measure a man's achievements bf his own tongue. HINTS FOR THE HOUSEWIFE Compiled by a Substitute While the Regular Man Was Away From His Desk. A good way to save money on your gas and electric light bills is to spend your evenings at theaters and restau rants where the management pays for the lights. If your husband's hair shows signs of falling out, try pulling his ears in stead. They very seldom come loose. Installment collector-? and other un desirable callers can he made to keep their distance by meats of ripe toma toes served at long range. A society matron, whose position de mands that she entertain a great deal more than she can really afford has discovered that by serving a few bird shot with each portion of guinea hen the guests can be made to think they are eating game. A young wife of our acquaintance tried for years to break her husband of the habit of bringing home unex pected guests to dinner. At last she took the advice of a friend and flirted desperately with the very next man her husband Invited to the house. After that there was no more trouble. New York World. Sad Part of the Allegation. "Every darn fool in this town thinks he could run a newspaper better than I can!" grumbled the editor of the Torpidville Tocsin and Guardian of the Hearthstone, the price whereof was a dollar a year, and the time to sub scribe now. "Ey-yah!" replied Mortimer Morose. "And the worst of it is, a good many of 'em could!"; Kansas City Star. Estimating the Probabilities. "My daughter is having he voice trained," said Mr. Cumrox. "Is she a soprano or a contralto?" "1 dunno. I suppose she'll decide to be whichever costs the most." Well Named. Jack Slow May I er kiss you? -Miss Sweet Wbet do you want written permission? If you want to study human nature don't patronize a correspondence school. Watch your neighbors. HNS 1MB iirilh 4y QeoigeYHobao John Henry on Automobiles' Aunt Miranda explained; "just make yourselves at home, children." Uncle Gilbert continued to eye the car for another minute, then he turned to me and said, "Want to try it, John?" " "Nix, Uncle Gilbert," I protested. "What would the townspeople say? You with a new motor car, afraid to run It yourself, had to send to New York for your nephew nix! Where's your family pride?" "My family pride is all right," an swered Uncle Gilbert; "but there's a lot of contraptions in that machine I don't seem to recognize." "Oh, thats' all right; you're a handy little guy with machinery," I reminded him. "Hop in now and break forth. Don't let the public think that you're afraid-to blow a bubble through the streets of your native town. The rub ber sweater buttoned to the chin and the Dutch awning over the forehead for yours, and on your way!" Reluctantly Uncle Gilbert and Aunt Miranda climbed into the kerosene wagon and I gave him his final in structions. "Now, Uncle Gilbert," I said, "grab that wheel In front of you firmly with both hands and put one foot on the accelerator. Now put the other foot on the rheostat and let the left elbow gently rest on the deodizer. Keep the rubber tube connecting with the auto matic fog whistle closely between the teeth and let the right elbow be in touch with the quadruplex while the apex of the left knee is pressed over the spark coil and the right ankle works the condenser." Uncle. Gilbert grunted. "Why don't you put my left shoulder blade to work?" he muttered. "It's the only part of my anatomy that hasn't got a job." "John," whispered the nervous Aunt Miranda, "do you really think your Uncle Gilbert knows enough about the car?" "Sure," I answered, and I was very serious about It. "Now, Uncle Gilbert, keep both eyes on the road" in front of you and the rest of your face In the wagon. Start the driving wheels, re peat slowly tho name of your favorite coroner and leave the rest to fate!" And away they started in the Whia Wagon. Before they had rolled along for half a mile through the town, the machine suddenly began to breathe fast and then, all of a sudden, it choked up and stopped. "Will it explode?" whispered Aunt Miranda, pleadingly. "No," said Uncle Gilbert, jumping out; "I think the cosmopolitan has buckled with the trapezoid," and then with a monkey wrench, he crawled un- Bosom of a Flock of Cows. der the hood to see if the trouble an old cow's tall across his cheek as they rushed on and out of that ani mal's life forever. Aunt Miranda tried to be brave and to chat pleasantly. "How is Wall street these days?" she asked, and just then the machine struck a stone and she went up in the air. "Unsettled," answered Uncle Gilbert when she got back, and then there was an embarrassing silence. . - To try to hold a polite conversation on a motor car in full Sight is very much like trying to repeat the Declara tion of Independence - while falling from a seventh-story window. Then, all of a sudden, the machine struck a chord in G and started for Newfoundland at the rate of 7,000,000 miles a minute. - Aunt Miranda ' threw her arms around Uncle Gilbert's neck, he threw his neck around thelever, the lever threw him over, and they both threw a fit. JJown the road ahead of them a man and his wife were quarreling. They were so much in earnest that they did not hear the machine sneak ing swiftly up on rubber shoes. As the Benzine Buggy was about to fall upon the quarreling man and wife Uncle Gilbert squeezed a couple of Aunt Miranda Wanted to Know for the Tenth Time If It Would Explode. hoarse "Toot Toots!" from the horn, whereupon the woman in the road threw up both hands and leaped for the man. The man threw up both feet and leaped for the fence. The last Aunt Miranda saw of them they were entering their modest home neck and neck,' and the divorce court lost a bet. Then the machine began to climb a telegraph pole, and as it ran down the other side Aunt Miranda wanted to know for the tenth time if it would explode. . "How did John tell you to handle it?" she shrieked, as the Rowdy Cart bit its way through a stone fencer and began to dance a two-step " over a strange man's lawn. "The only way to handle this In fernal machine Is to soak it in water," yelled Uncle Gilbert as they hit the main road again. "I don't see what family pride has to do with-it; there isn't a soul look ing," moaned Aunt Miranda. "Oh! if I could only be arrested for fast riding and get this thing stopped," wailed Uncle Gilbert as they headed for the river. "Let me out! Let me out!" pleaded Ann fi.on1a kA I. : seemed to hear her, for it certainly obliged the lady. I found out afterwards that in or der to make good with Aunt Miranda the machine jumped up in the air and turned a double handspring, during the course of which friend uncle and his wife fell out and landed in the most generous mudpuddle in that part of the state. Then the Buzz Buggy turned around and barked at them and with an ex cited wag of its tail scooted for home and left them flat. Late that evening Uncle Gilbert ex plained that there would have been no trouble at all if he had removed a defective spark plug. But I think if Uncle Gilbert would go to Doctor Leiser and have his par simony removed he'd have more fun as he breezes through life. Peaches thinks just as I do, but she wont say it out loud. She's a fox. that kid. A Good Breakfast IPropsrly Selected' Means a running start toward the day's work. There's concentrated Energ'y In FOOD It contains the rich elements from Wheat and Barley in form for easy digestion; and so quickly absorbed that it makes itself felt in body and brain. " : . There's a Reason 99 FOR WISE WORDS A Physician on Food. A physician of Portland, Oregon, haa views about food. He says: "I have always believed that the duty of the physician does not cease with treating the sick, but that we owe it to humanity to teach them how to protect theirhealth especially by hygienic and dietetic laws. "With such a feeling as to my duty I take great pleasure in saying to the public that In my own experience and also from personal observation I have found no food to equal Grape-Nuts and that I find there Is almost no limit to the great benefit this food will bring when used in all cases of sickness and convalescence. "It is my experience that no physical condition forbids the use of Grape-Nuts. To persons in health there is nothing so nourishing and acceptable to the stomach especially at breakfast to start the machinery of the human sys tem on the day's work. In cases of indigestion I know that a complete breakfast can be made of Grape-Nuts and cream and I think It is necessary not to overload the stomach -at the morning meal. I also know the great value of Grape-Nuts when the stomach is too weak to digest other food. "This Is written after an experience of more than 20 years treating all man ner of chronic and acute diseases, and the letter is written voluntarily on my part without any request for it." Name given by Postum Co, Battle Creek, Mich. Look In pkgs. for the famous little book, "The Road to WeUville."