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Joker By GEORGE MUNSON. V (Copyright. 1916. by W. G. Chapman.) "I leave the remainder of my world ly goods to my only nephew, Edward Lewis, with the proviso that, unless he shall marry my housekeeper. Miss Lucinda Burt, within three calendar months. It shall revert to the said Home for Incurable Horses at Lyons.' . The lawyer folded up the will. "The remaining clauses I am not at liberty to divulge," he remarked. "They deal solely with other legacies and have no reference either to Mr. Lewis or to Miss Burt." ! Ned listened In disgust and horror. He had had a serious quarrel with his uncle a month before the old man's sudden death, and had left the house where he had spent the better part of his life, since his father died. And crabbed old Uncle Jabez had humil lated. and taunted him In this, his last document. ! For Miss Luclnda Burt was fifty if she was a day, and not pretty at that. I She had been his uncle's faithful housekeeper for twenty years, and she made wonderful apple pies. In fact .Ned's uncle had advised him to marry her on the strength of this accomplish ment alone. But Ned had not taken iTJncle Jabez seriously. Who would? To add to the young man's troubles, he was desperately in love with pretty Nellie Gray, the stenographer of his uncle's business partner. He had hardly a penny saved, though he now bad a good position. And his uncle's .twenty thousand meant a lot to him. j As for Miss Burt, she sniffed. con temptuously she was a strong-minded "woman and came over to Ned. i "I'm willing to marry you," she said, "to please 'Mr. Jabez. He al- The Remaining Clauses I am Not at Liberty to Divulge." ways wanted it He said my apple pies would make a ian of you, and jf It's humanly possible for any wom an to make a man of you I'm willing to try. But don't talk about love to me!" i With which she gathered up her skirts and flounced out of the room. Ned was not likely to talk of love to her. They had never got on togethar. Miss Burt's temper was what is cus tomary in strong-minded women, and !s politely labeled "uncertain." 1 The thought of marrying Miss Burt, twenty years his senior, was the most repulsive one that had ever come Into the young man's head. The thought of Nellie was always with him. Now Nellie was not in the least strong minded. She was as charming and feminine as she cou!d be, and they loved each other to distraction, t But even at thirty Ned had not wholly gauged the ways of women. Nellie learned of the will almost as booh ns it was read, and Ned, calling to break the news and announce his eternal fidelity, was amazed to find Nellie !n tears. "Go on and marry her, 'then," she sobbed. "I always knew you didn't care Anything for me." "But, dearest." protested Ned, "this isn't right. I came to tell you that I Iov yen aud want you." "Tea, you can say that well enough," vept Nellie. "I'm not going to ruin your life prospects. Go on and marry tier, and be happy with her." "Nellie, won't you listen to reason? pleaded the young man. "I am reasonable," retorted Nellie. "Why should your uncle have put that absurd provision Into his will unless he knew that you and that Burt wom an cared for each other?" "Because he was a mean old cur mudgeon," shouted ; Ned, at last be- When Sol Scored. Solomon and Esau were very great friends; Indeed, so friendly were they that Solomon did not know how best to remind Esau of a little runner which remained unsettled between them. Then a bright idea struck him. and he spoke to Esau thuswise. "Esau, what Is the difference between the words remember and recollect?" Esau could see no difference. "Then," said Solo mon, "let me show you the difference. Do you remember that fine vaistcoat vot you haf from met" Esau "Yes, nil J W imp glnnlng to grow angry. "Because he knew I hated tht woman and he want ed to have his revenge on me In death. That's why." His finger calmed Nellie a little; It showed her that at least she bad the power to awaken some emotion in him. even if it was not love. "I want you to marry her. Ned.' she sobbed. "Then I will wait for you all my life.' Maybe shell die some day. She can't live to be more than ninety, and then youll be seventy and I shall be sixty-two." Ned patted her cheek Indulgently. "Dear, you are going to marry me, and you are going to do it soon," he said. "I'm going to get the license tomor row." "Ned!" she cried. "It Is absurd to talk In that way." Tm going to," answered Ned. "What are you going to wear for go ing away in, Nellie?" "Blue," sobbed Nellie, sinking Into her lover's arms. Ned broke the news to Miss Luclnda that evening, and whatever hopes of matrimony he may have shattered, at least she took the news philosophic ally. "Humph, It's what I might have ex pected of you P she muttered. "Mr. Jabez has provided for me." "I hope you won't be in a hurry to leave. Miss Burt," said Ned politely. "IH go when I get ready," she snapped. "Not till you've let my wife taste one of your apple pies," protested the young man. "You think I'm a fool sitting on the Blarney Stone, I suppose," answered Miss Luclnda. She disappeared two days later, but Ned did not care, for that was his wedding day, and his wife, radiant in blue, was in the PulWuan with him about the time that Miss Lucinda was packing her trunks. They came back two weeks later. more in love with each other than ever before, and settled down to the prob lem of housekeeping. The exchequer had been exhausted by the trip. Still, love can make money stretch a long way, in spite of the statements of cynics. But just when things were really looking black, Ned was sur prised to receive a communication from the lawyer, Inviting him and his wife to call. Seated In the office, scowling, was Miss Lucinda Burt. Ned shook hands with her and presented Nellie. Miss Lucinda bowed as one might look for a steel needle to bow. 'Sit down, Mr. Lewis" said the lawyer cordially. "Mrs. Lewis, pray take this chair. It Is now my duty to read to you the remaining clause of your uncle's will. They amount, in brief, to this: Three calendar months after the testator's, death the funds which he willed, and has donated to the Home for Incurable Horses, are withdrawn from the trustees. Tour uncle felt that with the extension of the good work of the Society for Pre vention of Cruelty to Animals, the need for this organization lapses. Consequently, the funds return into your uncle's legacies. Half of these are to go to Miss Luclnda Burt. The remainder, not being willed to any body, go to yourself, under your clause of the testament The sum is seventy five thousand dollars, half to Miss Burt and half to you." I get thirty-seven thousand five hundred?" gasped Ned. "Yes, In the event of your not mar rying Miss Burt Otherwise the Home for Incurable Horses would re main endowed. I think, to be frank. that your uncle was perpetrating a little Joke on you, Mr. Lewis. He smiled when he dictated these clauses." "He nearly choked to death over his apple pie when he read them to me," said Miss Burt, smiling. And somehow the steel needle as pect had so entirely disappeared that Nellie ran to her and hugged her. Xou knew, you dear old thing," she cried. "Yes, I knew," admitted Miss Burt 'Mr. Jabez wanted to get even with Mr. Ned for having quarreled with him, and and I was married twenty years ago, and Td never take a sec ond, never, and and m go home with you and make you one of my pies." 4 Rubber Boots, Pocket Size. A pair of rubber boots so Uirht tht they may be rolled up and carried In the pocket Is principally designed for me use ox amateur nsnermen, says the Scientific American. For wading through streams thev the leather shoes, affording all the pro tection or me neavy Doots without the inconvenience of the latter while on the way to and from the fishing ground. The boots are made of pure gum, fashion lined and have an eles tic top, thus fitting tightly around the leg. Improvement In Gas Lighting. Coal gas Illumination was evolved between 1792 and 1802, but it was not until about 1884 that it was brought to a high state of efficiency by the Wels bach mantle, and further developed by the inverted burner and the use of pressure gasl Sol." Solomon "'Do you recollect paying for it?" And Esau knew It was Sol's score that time. Thought Him the Stork's Agent. Carol, aged three, while at her grand pa's store, was very much Interested in a traveling salesman and a small case be carried. Looking up at him intently she said: "Is you a doctor?" She kept very quiet when he said "Na" until he picked up bis case to go. then she said with much excitement. "Does you sell babies?" The One-Piece Gown for Afternoon. If you are looking about for a pretty model for an afternoon gown it almost goes without saying that you want a smart one-piece straight-hanging frock. There are many materials that provide a choice for making It but satin or chiffon velvet or both combined, lie up permost in the mind, if the dress is to be elegant rather than practical. The one-piece dress offers the de signer the best of opportunities for making effective combinations of ma terials. Serge and satin, and other cloths with satin or velvet crepe with velvet or fur and cloths with fur-fabrics, are a few that have been made so successfully that they pave the way to many more. A lovely combination of satin and chiffon velvet is shown in the picture. In this the chiffon velvet is cut in redingote style over satin that has the effect of an underdress. A panel of satin, from collar to hem, is defined on the edges, with small velvet-covered Week-End Traveling Bag. - A new bag for a lady's toilet arti cles, when she goes traveling. Is very clever. It Is a made-at-home affair of heavy silk, plain or figured, lined with silk or cloth in a contrasting color. It Is circular and draws upon a silk cord. Upon opening it all the toilet requis ites are discovered very tidily and coz ily arranged. - This particular bag may be made in miniature,' with complete fittings, like an amplified vanity bag, and it is a treasure for the overnight visit A round powder box, enclosed in a small bag, is attached to the center of the circular piece of silk. This small bag closes with a silk cord and pro vides support for several compart ments that are ranged about It These compartments contain all those things which are necessary to milady's toilet Including a small hairbrush and comb, band mirror, toothbrush and paste in a glass holder, toilet powder, clothes brush, scissors, and needlecase. The arrangement is so complete and compact that there Is still room for a soft nightdress of batiste or silk, ex tra handkerchiefs, etc The smaller bags will not carry these, but are mar vels In space arrangement All the fit tings are little, but everything that is really needed finds a place. Even when brought down to the "Irreducible minimum" there are quite a number of things that the week-end or over night visitor can't do without The week-end bag can be made "of other fabrics than silk. Cretonne and buttons, set about an Inch apart The dress has a long waistline and a nar row velvet belt edged with fur. The belt terminates at each side of the front panel, where it Is fastened to the dress with a large velvet button. A small plaited cape of velvet fin ished with a narrow banding of fur, falls to the shoulders. This is a feature which marks this dress a design for the slender figure. The straight satin sleeves have deep cuffs of tucked chif fon, which come far down over the hands, and the high satin collar Is edged with the same material. This model Is better for the very slender figure than those that have no defini tion of the waistline. Millinery Note. A note to be remembered by the home milliner is that should one decide to use wax flowers there should be a few of the silk posies mixed in with them. Otherwise the trimming would be too stiff. other heavy printed cottons, lined with rubberized cloth, .are just as good looking and altogether practical. It Is merely more luxurious when made of silk, and therefore more feminine. Cork Carpet for Nursery. The ideal nursery floor is covered with cork carpet and it is as well to lay this betimes, because at first It has rather an objectionable smell, which wears off after It has been In use. , Cork carpet is warm and clean ; It can be wiped over with a damp cloth each day, which keeps it sweetv and fresh and it Is quite warm to the touch, so that a child is not chilled when sit ting on it A few small rugs can be thrown over It at convenient spaces. Wonderful Hair Tonic. Steep one ounce of tea in a cup of boiling water, then let It settle and strain; 'add borax, one dram; rose water, two ounces; glycerin, one and one-half ounce; bay rum, one pint; cantharides, one-quarter ounce. Mix thoroughly in a large bottle and use daily. , Trained Evening Coat Evening coats made of rich brocades and oriental metal embroidery are be ing made with long panel trains edged with the same fur which outlines the arm slits and .provides the collars. The linings of -these coats are usually of soft solid-color satins. DISASTER III SIGHT BAD OUTLOOK FOR "TRADE CON DITIONS AFTER THE WAR. Injury Already Done to Business Through the Operation of the Un derwood Tariff Will Be Intensi fied by the Struggle to Come. The passage of the Underwood tariff was the first act of the Democratic congress in 1913. In the period of Its operation prior to the war. although advertised as a remedy for the high cost of living, it accomplished only two results created a deficit In 'the rev enue and a depression In business. The latter has been remedied tempo rarily and in spots by the abnormal stimulus of the war. When this stim ulus ends, lacking protection, we slump deeper Into the slough. Then there will be a drop in prices, because the bottom will droa out of everything. But It will be a drop to panic prices, accompanied by wide spread business disaster and unemploy ment It matters little to the man with no job and no money whether potatoes cost 75 cent or ?1.50 a bushel in either case they are beyond his reach. It will be small comfort to reflect that a Democratic tariff has lowered prices If at the same time it has closed the factories and turned hundreds of thousands of workers out on the streets. Every avenue of business will suffer, because the buying power of the nation has been reduced. The cost of living Is now abnormally high because the energies of so large a part of the world have been directed for more than two years to feeding the rapacious maw of war. When the war is over prices will come down. Country at Heart Republican. Two proverbial rules that heretofore always favored Republicans worked for the Democratic party this year, be cause it was In and the Republican party out; one being the oft-quoted maxim of Lincoln . about "swapping horses," and the other point that had greatest weight with western farm ers, of high prices, or "leaving well enough alone." The fact that In spite of these and other handicaps Governor. Hughes failed of election by so narrow a mar gin that the change of a few hundred votes in two or three states would have changed the election, shows the coun try to be at heart Republican. Reunited under the nomination of Hughes, in whom all factions had con fidence, when only a few months ago it was divided into two parties holding independent national conventions, the Republican party will emerge from its temporary retirement better , and stronger than at any time since the historic crisis responsible for its birth. Capper's Weekly. 'All Honor to Mir. Hughes. Charles E. Hughes will have no oc casion to sit in judgment upon himself relative to his course in the campaign recently ended. Even though he loses, the defeat will bring to him no suspi cion of political repudiation or in difference; He stood for sound, safe and honorable principle. The fact that some of the Republican states did not support him Is to their discredit not to his. It is because they were more ruled by the thought of freedom from grave foreign entanglements in the past than by the thought of what was best for the future of the nation more governed by their sympathy for a great man because of the extraor dinarily heavy burdens he had been compelled to bear than by desire to have great principles triumph, how ever important they weighed In the calculations even of independent voters in large industrial and financial -commonwealths. Syracuse Journal. "Great Democratic Economies." Listening in a manufacturing jew elers' office : "These will cost you one dollar each." "Why, last year we got them made for seventy-five cents." "Yes, but I cannot make them for that now." "What makes the difference?" "All kinds of metal are higher, wagex are higher, and all other expenses cost me more." . "Do we get any better buttons r "No. You see, the cost of making Is higher every way. In an other order today for goods "supplied last year at forty-eight dollars I had to charge $65, and I do not make a cent more than last year for what I take in the transaction." Great Democratic economies, right here In Worcester.- Worcester Telegram (Rep.). Awakening Will Be Sad. With every Important nation In the world preparing for the industrial con flict as completely as for the military conflict the United States does noth ing. With a Democratic tariff in effect It can do nothing. Lulled to sleep by words, and words, and words, to quote Governor Whitman, ' we enjoy our pleasant dreams and postpone the awakening. "Peace" Talk Absurd. . . r The "peace" with Mexico which Mr. Wilson boasts about is a Eham and a fraud. Even the law officers of the war department repudiate the fiction behind which the president has taken refuge. The country Is paying a heavy war price for Mr. Wilson's "peace" paying out millions and getting practi cally nothing in return. . If the presi dent wants to claim credit for keep ing the country out of war let him call in and revise the opinion of the judge advocate general of the army. New York Tribune. MlTBNOTONAL SUNMrSfflCOL Lesson (By E. o. SELLERS. Acting- Director of the Sunday School Course In the Moody Bible Institute of Chicago.) (Copyright. X1S, Western Newspaper Union.) LESSON FOR DECEMBER 24 ' UNTO US A SON IS GIVEN. LKSSOJvT TEXT Isaiah 8:1-7. GOLDEN TEXT For unto us a child Is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulders; and his name shall be called Wonderful. Counsellor, the Mighty God. the Everlast ing Father, the Prince of Peace. Isa- 9:C The Christmas lesson naturally and logically follows the three lessons we have just had from the book of the Revelation where . Jesus In bis glory had been portrayed, and the ultimate success of his work is foreseen in the new heaven and the new earth. Isaiah saw the vision of his first coming. John saw the vision of his second coming, when what he began the first time shall ultimately be accomplished. The prophecy here spoken was uttered dur ing the reign of Ahaz, B. C 73S to 723. The king of Assyria was attack ing Syria. The tribes of northern Is rael were carried away as captives. Judah was In danger of invasion. (See II Kings 15:29.) Isaiah was preach ing In his home city, Jerusalem. His vision of the Messiah Savior was not more than 800 years before John saw the vision of the glorified Jesus. I. Darkness Versus Light (w. 1-5). We need to go back into the eighth chapter to get the full historical situa tion of this part of the lesson. , Ahaz, trembling in Jerusalem, had with him the Prophet Isaiah, the wisest and! greatest man in his kingdom, yet Ahaz listened not to his words of warning and rebuke. He doggedly pursued his own course and sought help In every other quarter than the right one. This explains Isaiah's words,- "The people that walked in darkness." Primarily, he may have referred to those of the lands of Zebulon and Naphtall, the Galilee of the nations (John 1:46; 7 :52) and the light which shone in them, which was the light of the world,' Jesus of Nazareth (John 8:12). But there is a larger application in this verse to the whole world which lay in darkness until Jesus came, and the whole world has seen or shall see the great light (Luke 1:78-79). With the coming of light comes the increase of joy (v. 3 II. V.). In Israel there Is to be, through Christ a wonderful in crease (Isa. 49 :20-22 ; Zech. 10 :8). In Christ there Is to be great joy, the Joy; of harvest and of victory. The re ligion of Jesus Christ is pre-eminently, the relltrion of 1ov (Acts 8:8: Phil.'''. l : ; x jreier x :oj uui me vnuu umi was to be born was to be a Deliverer too, for the "yoke of burden" was a tax of $1,800,000 that bad recently been levied by the king of Assyria. It was; a night of thick darkness for Israel.: Then, even as now, we have the moral darkness. (Read Rom. 1 :20-32.) But the prophet saw the joy of deliverance.; Jerusalem had been left In peace, Hezeklah succeeded his father, Ahaz, and entered upon a religious revival in the kingdom. The people who had walked in darkness had seen a new light The prophet saw the dawning rays through the midst of this dark ness of ignorance being removed. He also saw the coming of the Light of Men 700 years later, and the multi plication of the nations, the increase of their Joy. II. Unto Us a Son Is Born (w. 6-7). The greatest joy for" Israel in Isaiah's time was in this vision of the Messiah, the promised Savior. , Isaiah is look ing ahead seven centuries. We are looking back nineteen. He was to be king over his people. Name and title is here given. (1) "Wonderful" be cause of his nature, being both hu man and divine. The word made flesh and dwHt among us. (2) "Counselor, one whoMias the wisdom to guide him self and others. No one guided by him has ever failed of true success. (3)i "The Mighty God." He was truly God so that we can trust him to the utter most He can also save to the utter most (4) "Everlasting Father," ex pressing his divine loving kindness and, self -Identification with the Father. (5)j TI to 41T I nn T f 1 who rules so that peace and prosper ity abide in his kingdom. He brings peace between man and God, and be tween man and man. He is the peace of the soul as well as bringing peace to the soul. The completeness of this picture which Isaiah saw Is the one which St John saw, of which.' we have been recently studying. These two verses are marvelous ones, not! only because of the clear prediction of Jesus of Nazareth, made more thanj seven centuries before his first advent! but marvelous also for the fullness1 and richness of the revelation they cor4 tain concerning the person, character; and work of Christ . Our Lord's earth life began at Beth lehem, but be was from all eternity: (John 8:56-58; John 1:1-2). As a man is not at peace with God! he cannot be at peace with himself or his fellows;, but as Jesus restores) peace between man and God, he also! restores peace to the heart of the in-j dividual (PhiL 4:7). Sunday school officers and teachers should realize the difference between' the peace with God (Rom. 5 :1) and. the peace of God (PhiL 4:7). Let ns see to it that In the fullest sense our scholars may have the Prince, of Peace In their lives.