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M.. jv-m3 ii.jM: a ' .iimwn:, i A. " T ! Ti-ii v'T SOL. MILLER, EDITOR AND PUBLISHER. . . THE CONSTITUTION AND THE UNION. i TERMS $2.69 PER ANNUM, 19 ADVANCE. VOLUME VII.-NUMBER 4, WHITE CLOUD, KANSAS, THURSDAY, JULY 30, 1863. WHOLE NUMBER, 316. w , j-f Eflistts IbM. K B 4 J M lM M m M nice l0ttrg. AJTEB "TAPfl." W Trior! Tnmp! Tramp! T ., iB, with oy blanket on, B, Ik. 4i "-'" in ,ta m001lIil ,S,,, tbe skirmishing "V" w" """, TBaasareabeatoflhesentry'ifeet, Wiiillw jingling seabbard'a'ricg! Tn-pt Trtmp! in my meadow-camp, jj til SksnanJoah't spring Tl. mooaliflt seems to shed u bn,, On a row or pale gravestones: ntohn-'ebretlh. and that image of Death mil y &" reveille's """' B, .itb tented roof. charger's hoor Mik.i the fr'T bill-side ''"F Gin it. boile breath, mod i spirit of Death To tub bone'i J'"1 wi" Pr. Tnmn! Trtmp! Trtmp! Tnmp! Th. seetry. Infer, mj tent, Gttrfs, ia gloom, ki. chief, for whom lu shelter to-night ii lent. I tm not tkere. On the hill-lide litre. I think of the ghost within; Or theirs" who died tl my sword-hand lije, To-Jiy. 'mid the horrible din Of ibot tad ib'II and tbe infantry jell. Aa we charged with the atbre drawn. To tnj betrt I Kid. "Who iliall be tbe detd la lent, at another dawn!" 1 thoa-Vt of a blossoming almond-tree, . The ttatelieit tree that I know; Of a tolden bowl; of a parted soul; And a limp tbtt ii hurting low. Oh, llwoflils that kill ? I thought ofthe hill In the far-off Jort chain; Of the 10. the three, o'er the wide tall lea, Whose beam weald break with pain; Of ray pride and joy my eldest hoy; Of nr darlin. the second in jean; Of JTiUie, who.e face, with ill pore, mild grace, Melts memory into tears; Oftre'r mo'iier. nr bride, hy the Alpine lake's aide. And rhe anyelasleep in Per armt; lse, Keaoty, and Troth, which the brought to roy youth, la lliat tweet Apri I day of lier cUarraa. "IlilT JTioeoiaeirirre?" The cold midnight air And the eliallen-in- word chill me throo-h. TisjhMt of a fear nhiipen, close to my ear, -tip-ril, lore, coming to yon?" rvwiine answer, "Rklikf," tnnket the ahado of l Tli kdwet uatra lliee . nee titan, a A.I grief A melt, in air, while a tear and a prayer CocaMe my beloved to God. Tnmp! Tnmp' Tramp! Tramp! With a solemn, pendulum-twin;! Tkon-H t slomber all night, the fire burns bright, AaJ my sentinels acabbarda ring. "Boot an & sa.Ule!" itsonn.ling. Our poises are bounding. "To horse-" And I tonth with my heel B'stk Crsy in the flsnVi. and ride down tlie ranks. With my heart, like my atbre, of steel. AJTO&EW HALL FOOTS. ttliit tin-, nor Mmie fou;ltt at PoneUon. Anil round Fori lletirv wunul in sialr-lile coils, We owed to one man's neter-cea.in- toils. Much of Ibe siclories which there upre -.run. Long and with honor had he sened Ih land. At home, and more ahroaj on aea and shore; And when fien-e wr stretched out its bloody hand, He stood alert enjrer to do yet more; And none of ill who're nohlj fought and bled, lisre fairer, brighter record kept than he. To-dijibal hero-tentleman lies dead A Christian soldier lost to liberty! 'Mid solemn bells and reeerent jnnl, well may the nation weep Abote the honored dust of him who calmly lies asleep. Sdcrt ak ICHABODj OB, TIIE PLEASURE OFBATHING. Rr TACL CBETTON. Ichibod Inches was extravagantly fond of bathing. Nearly every day, in the Summer time, he used to go down to the pood bick of Deacon Johnson's barn, de PjKite bis clothes in the bushes, and Plunge like a dnck into the water. Tbe pond wis a fine bath so clear brilliant when the snn shono, that f"7 pebble that glittered on the hard bottom, was distinctly visible ; and even u Ichabod dove down in the deepest P'. joo. conld see him kicking and prawling among the frightened fishes, like 6ret white frog, or a regular merman. Ichabod chose the shadowy part ofthe P". behind Deacon Johnson's barn. om coniderat;ons wn;cn every m0leat .ro.aW'Ucommend- The Deacon had i: i, ?'v. la'l enterprising girls, who de- eomef ' umb,ing "boat th8 frm' the d '"j6? exteo'nS eir excursions to hiJ0"0 ' 0 "lere be'nK no suca thing 00j , xaS,a e transparent wator, Icba ' oanl tbe barn a convenient retreat Tm of 8arPri'9e- coa,d cii e4rl.th6 g"ls coming, in season to np his clothes, retreat to the barn SoSflh-,nlSelf'8iT',nKthem no M l"oa of his presence. ditcay; howe,rer. Ichabod was sadly S9df tnew.y0fit: It S .; " '?. There was warm. IH ?"!? aJc,loa,llK8 J- Ichabod Woi '? eliShtfnl b"h. and in the ef thbn9hes wb hi. clothes 2 & a nDder garment 0Ter h" hd, ahe was .urtled by a most terrific i 2 i ? b,ackberry bh. ami look. er 2 f fr " ber- Ptlr. or what- fcitriM In'l5,Ight be' ,b" yowled .mSJ; W" m Ichbod'' hair MP.ly'ed with fear. Another growl, however, started Icha bod ont of the briars. He had never heard anything so horrifying before. He canght a glimpse of a hoge bristling monster, with glaring eyes, on the other tide of the bushes, and fled. Unfortunately, Ichabod 'was not only ont of his senses, bat oat of his clothes. He left bis shirt hanging on the briars. He rnshed into the barn. He shut the door after him with greatc trepidatloB, and clang to tbe beam to keep from fall ing. He trembled as he never trembled before, and his legs seemed crumbling away beneath him. Finding himself safely in tbe barn, however, with the monster on tbe oat side, Ichabod presently began to recover from his fright. Still hearing a series of nneartbly growls, he ventured to look through a crack in the door, to get a sight at the monster. It was not a bear. It was not a pan ther. It was only a dog Deacon John son's dog, too, the most peacefnl of all dogs. Besides, Ichabod and Towser had always been friends. Bat Ichabod had never before seen him bristle np so, or heard him ntter such growls. He was as large as two dogs. " He is mad," thought Ichabod. Then Ichabod began to think of his clothes. He dared not go for them, nev er reflecting that Towser's unaccountable insanity was all owing to sheer fright. Nothing indeed terrifies a dog so much as the sight of human being in a state of nudity. Ichabotl could not have got within a rod of Towser, had he tried. Towner's growl was a growl of terror, and he followed his old friend, through the strange fascination of feur, and now began to yelp and bark before the barn door in a most wild and alarming man ner, for poor Ichabod ! After suffering much agony, in his re treat, Ichabod, anxious to recover his clothes, resolved to presume- npon bis former intimacy with Towser, to coax him ont of his insanity. Accordingly, nfter considerable preliminary whistling and flattering through a crack. Ichabod cau tiously opened the door. Towser, recog nizing the voice, had for a moment ap peared easier ; bnt tin- instant ho siw the terrible sight of a n.ikcd man, his bristles went np again, and ho yelled horribly. Ichabod shut the boor, as if he had been met by a troop of wolves ! Onr hero's situation was, you may "say, without contradiction, anything but pleas ant. In vain did he beg and entreat Tow ser to know him and come out of his madness. " Poor Towser! good Towser! Tow. Tow come, Tow!" he cried, and Towser answered with yells. Ichabod groaned, and enrsed, and shiv ered, and enrsed again, when shade of Diana ! a chorus of female voices hurst in upon Ichabod's oar. "O. Lor! O. Lor! it'n Jo'inson's girl!" groaned Ichabud, looking through tbe crack. "That infernal dog they'll think there's a thief in the barn ! Hoi Don't come !" he shonted, as three robust girls approached the door don't come! for heaven's sake." He flew about the barn like a chicken after its neck is wrung. There was no way of fastening the door. To hold on was out of the question the girls would look through the crack ! So Ichabod got behind a ladder bnt he found this wonldb't do. His eye fell on a bundle of straw, and he wished himself a mouse, that he might crawl in to it. The girls came nearer. Having paci fied the dog, they boldly datrjrmineil to ascertain the canso of his terror. Don't come I'm nuked for heav en's sake, don't !" shrieked Ichabod. Not understanding his words, the girls thought he was calling for assistance. Suddenly all was si'ent. Thpy looked through the cracks, bnt they saw nothing. Timidly they opened the door. The barn was as silent as a chnrcb on Monday morning. Encouraging each other, the girls entered. This eneonraged the dog, and he entered too. Nobody was to be seen. The girls looked everywhere np the ladder, on the mow. behind the pitchfork that atood in the corner and finally con cluded the robber or whoever the mys terions individual was mast be in tbe fanniac mill. " Tarn it, Molly." said Jane. Molly turned it but as she did not find ont anybody, the girls changed their minds, and felt certain the mysterions in dividual mnst be in the large apple' bar rel which stood in the corner. The, barrel was covered with straw. Jane pointed at it mysterionsly. Molly tnrned pale. She was sure she saw the straw move ; and the dog was beginning to snuff and growl at it, as 'if convinced there wai something wrong. Lizzie brandished a sickle. One took herstation on one side.of the barrel, and the other on the 'Other side. Towner was before St. tTrowlinirfritihtfnllT. Molly approach ed it from behind, and at a aignal from Jane tipped it over and spilled ont Ichabod I TT ont like a raring, make out of a snuff-box. Up went Towaer's i bris tles, and down came Jane'e pitchfork, ithin an inch of lcbaooaa ear i T.;v. at near reaniug tbe left with her sickle. Molly shrieked ; the sisters recoiled. They had recognised Ichabod! ....nnn'f look at me ! O, Lor! the dog my clothei!" ejaculated Mr. .Inches. ".Don't don't look l" ' . i.d .v.;u tha in'rla aeat np a chorea of wild, ringing laughter, be drew baek into the barrel, like a tnrtle into its shell. Amid the stifled growls of Trowser. and the giggling of the girls, Ichabod; who bad hastily fortified bis retreat with what straw he conld grup by reaching ont bis naked arms, told bia story, and entreated tbe girls to bring him his clothes, and call away the dog. -This they obligingly did ; and having witndrawa, to grgp Ichabod an opporta Mtyyto dress, Wgot out ofthe barrel and into his clothes in double quick time. He thinks he never occupied so little time in dressing before, or since. Ichabod, then, with feelings that can be " more easily imagined than descri bed," appeared, white and ghastly, be fore the girls, who laughed ; and before Towser, who snuffed at him, hung his head, and finally sneaked away, with his tail down, very much ashamed. Icha bod, very much ashamed, too, went off in another direction, and disappeared in the hushes ; and owing to painful asso ciations connected with the briars, the dog, and the barrel, and the girls, our hero never afterwards went in swimming behind Deacon Johnson's barn. Ptstclkcmrs. GOD 8 AVE MY COTKTBT THE TTHITED STATES OF AKEBICA." Larr Wokdi or GexisUI. Scatsia. T J.. T. U. T1.TLOK. "God tare my country!" so the hero cried, While on his brow was press'd, all cold and damp, The hand of death and the pale, fliekrring )iht Flaahed up a moment in the dying lamp. lie prayed that God woold aare onr bleeding land; That Heaven in merey would oor country spare; For never yet were those hi-h portals closed Against l patriot's earnest, beart.felt prayer. O! Pomner! tho no more, thy thonder-tones Will sonnd abore the battle's awful storm! Tlio' never more thy comradea will be cheered Ry the Imld presence of thy martial form. Vet will the history of thy glorions deeda llrijhten shole pa);ea of onrcountry's lore. And "Libtrt jt" will bans; npon Ihy tomb ' A prouder wreath than ever monarch wore. Lon; is the lit of heroes gone before An I now npon the scroll another name, Enrirrled by n radiant light, appears 'Tit Snmner's, written by the hand of Fame! God save ray country'" Ah! he ktutr itt vortM When all things el.e had faded, 'twas bit care. And we will kneel h-fore Thy throne, ah! Ood, And beg an answer to that dying prayer. BO! SOB THE G1JNVB0ATS. Hoi for the gun-boats, bot Ho! for the foaming seal Onr starry flag it floating there, The emblem ofthe free. Ho! for the gnn-lxiats, ho! Ho! fjr the rivers bright! There beams the star of liberty. With pore and holy light. R'prat firtl four linn ofcacM rcrae. tlo! for the gnn.hoats, ho! Ho! for the Ocean Kings! Their vict'riet on the seas are born Upon the lightning's wings. Ho! for their bows of steel t In every clime and lone. The thunders of their mighty guns Shall shake the tyrant's throne. Hoi for the brave hearts, bol Ho! for the stripes and stars! Before their might the despot bowt The prison doornnbars. Ho! for the gutj-botts, ho! Bo! for the waters bloe! To freedom and oor glorioos flag, Wo pledge oorselves anew. s e , A. Ward Meets Hoilcau, the Cop-pet-bead Editor. Won uv the Poits, I forgit witch wnn,. sez ".the proper studdy of mankind is man ;" but to understand human natnr perfickly requires snra nollego of the oth er animal, ez fur instance soaix! There's a grate eel of human natnr in snaix 1 Speaking ov snaix, reminds me ov a incident which happened to mo the oth er day. I was a traveling in the cars, when a man cum in with a countenance witch looked ez if it hail been biled and the sknm not properly tuk off. He was anrnmnanied bv a verv Tonne roan in a very yaller shute of close. The young man staired bard at me, wnerenpon 1 said to him in my most insinnooatin manner. " Yonr Farvant. snr ; du yon se eny thing green about me 1" "Neigh, revrent snr," ne replied, "pur mit me to introjuce to yu a patriot." " Wheer abouts ?" sez I. Hnrf sez I.. (This was spoken sar kasticle. fur I hate travelling patriots like dog pi.) " Nothing to speak on," sez he, "I am simply an umbel patriot." " How much kin yon make a wcec at it ?" seas I, if its followed np well !" Rnn" said he. " I am surprised at snch loverly. I make my woonds by it. snr ; also stripes, likewise im prising ments. I bev been incarcenated in for tress Laffeyette, sur." Indeed," sez I. Yes, snr," sez he ; I wos incarcena taut in that fsdral baatill. becoz I would not abay a tirannickle government." Sampthing like Jno. V. Hampton," said I, "wen he objected to settling his skule tax T lis rayiner singular w uiw s pease man who is also a patriot. I should like to bev yore wax figger'in my show." " Yoa flatter me." sez he. "Not a tall." eez I. " Wot biainess do yon foller wen times is doll ?" T m m naditur." sav he. " I tole Mr. Lmkun wot I thort of him, snr, in my paper, snr. I tole him the war woz a nnnolf war. xna me renew wu - an.u fnr thr bnrthrites aa tha constitution. That J. Davis wo a grate man, aa no body couldn't itop mm. i apeiea vo lliananl .n. T T I.U lt. a- ! " pcr"c ' iw" atu t,o arise in thar mite and.magersty, hurl A. Linknn from power, aad ade the Sonth in bur noble effort to save tbe Union. Far this, sur, l was incaroeasted in a dungeon.' " How did von git ont V sez I " Woz yon let ont on the rit of Hocus Pocns?" . "Neigh, sur," aad he. I wos de prived of. my coBstitOfliional rite to that rit, which -wos arrmud 'frora'K.Dg' John ny meoowia Darrens at tbe Mennymeed, and witch hez been wottered by the bind ov onr sires and antsis.ers." " But how did you git out V sz I. "The majeraty uv the-stait nv Penn silvennier," he continued, " has been vi erlated in my umbel person that mitey Stait witch was foundered by W. H. Penn. in pease witch was purchast by him frum the nobel red men ov the forrest." " Ingin is pizen wheresoever found," sez I. " How did yon get ont ?'' " The Legislatoor ov my native Stait is resolvin the Legislatoor of my nativ Stait is goin to avenge her viurlated sov ereignty." ' My fren,' sez I, " my patriotic fien, kyerb these flites of imadgernation, subu these flours ov retterick, and inform me, 0, inform me, " Let me not bast in ignorants," but inform me how did you get out ?" Sez he, very short, " I would not bough down an take the oath. I woz releefd on my pay roll ov honor." " Yn oadacions ens," sed I, " a mitey site meaner than Limhnrg cheese is ynre pay roll ov honor. Why, sur, my imor tal little monkey is smart kompared tn yu. My kobra wouldn't associate with you. My wax figger of Smith, the wife mnrderer, wud skorn tn ware ynre close. Why. snr, it air a privilege to take the othe of a legance. I take it, snr, in the mornin when I rize nn brethe the are of freedom. I take it wen I lye down at nite seknre in the protection of mi conn try. I administer the othe tn mi famer lv. I teech it tn my innercent children. Yn a patriot ! ' Shadder of G. Wash ington defend ns! if the suvereignity ov yonre natiff Stait is lodged in yore person, in my opinion t hares mitey little to keep it from falling to the ground. Wile yn air loose, sur, onest men hev no pleasure in bein free. Wen yu "are tnckt up then the rites of onest men air seknre. My son, Andrew Jackson Ward, snr, is a corporal in the army of the Union. He marches next to the man who kerrys the flag. The rebels may shots at him, bnt his dooty is to hold onto his fire till the last moment for the defence of that glo rious flag. An wile them ignorant ruf fins air a levlin thsre gnns at his manly brest, yu, sur, an sntch abandoned cow ardly villains ez yn, sur, air a tellin em ware tn aim. Yu air a tellin em tn stan tharo ground, an to fire on the Stars and Stripes witch my son may even now be a itrin proudly in the face ov tbe foe. If I ssrved you rite, snr, I wood take yon by tbe scrnft of ynre worthless neck an the sete ov yure close, carry yn out onto that platform and drop yoa onto the track, wen the kars conld mangle your rotten flesh an grind yure disreppytable bones to powder 1 Sez he, lookin kind o' skeart, " the Legislatoor ov mi natiff Stait" " Gnss the Legislatoor ov yonr natiff Stait," sez I. " I hev no sitch snaix in mi show. South Carolina addopted the rattle snaik as the emblem ov hnr saver eignty bnt yure Leggislatoor hez chtiie a meaner, an more pizenos reptyle tha ropperhed. My feeble opinion is, sur, that aither W. Penn diddent git a good title, or he left no legitermate ares, and the sovereignty ov ynre natiff Stait hes reverted to the pizen logins agin, witoh woz the oridginal possessors." Here the whistle blode fur Johnstown, ware I cot out and exhibited my moril entertainment, at a large an truly patriot ic audgence ov American cityzens. e a Thet Love Treason, but Despise the Traitors. The testimony, says the Re publican, or Chester Connty, Pa., is uni versal, that the rebels in Cumberland Valley have treated certain sympathizers in that region with great contempt. A well authenticated fact comes to ns, and we think it shonld be made a part of the record of this war. The rebel General Jenkins, while in Chambershnrg. either by his own invitation or otherwise, took tea one evening with Mrs. McClure, the wife of Col. Alex. McClure. After being seated, he said : " Mrs. McClnre, your husband left here last night?" Yes." " He went out by way of Rntherford's Lane 7" "Yes." "He was on foot?" "Yes; bnt," said Mrs. McClure, " how is it. General, yon know all these particulars? "Ob," said Jenkins, with tbe most biting scorn and irony, "I have it all from our con stitutional frwtdt!" This is bnt a ein- gle instance of tbe conduct of tbese men in Cumberland valley. k-Gaxe or Draw. The East to the West, greeting Gettysborg. July, 4, 1863 : We go voa 12.000 prisoners. The West to tbe East Vickaburg, Julv 4. 1843 : All right, we go yon 12.000 better. The following is from Vanity Fair : THE TWO BURGS. " Vicksbubo I GrrrrsicHo ! " To whom shall we 7roar tbe Meade of praise?" Yes. He Has. Lee has found that there ia a big difference between going out to hunt np a fight, and in baring oae brought to yon. TAKE T0TTB QUIT ATfD 00, 70S. Don't atop a moment to think, John Onr country calls, then go; Don't fear for me nor the children, John, I'll cart for them, yon know. Leave tbe corn upon th ttalk, John, The fruit upon tbe tree; And all onr little stores, John, Yes, leave them all to me. Casaca Then, take your gun aad go; ''" Yet, lake roarfaBJaeViji. For Roth can drive tie oiei, Johl, And Tcan ase tbe bo. I've beard my grand-tire tell, John, ne fought at Bonker Hill; He counted all bit life and wealth, Hit country's offering still. Would I spare the brave old blood, John, That flowed on Monmouth plain! Wo! take yonr gun aad go, Joint, Tbo' I ne'er ate yon again. Caoavs Then, take yonr gun and go, Jto. Tbe army's thort ofblankets, John, Then take tbia heavy pair; I tpnn and wove them whrn a girl. And work'd them with great care. A foao In every comer, John, And here's my name, yon tee; On tbe cold ground they'll warmer feci. Became they're made by me. Cnoan Then, uke your gsn and go, fco. And, John, if Coil baa willed it to, We ne'er shall meet again, I'll do my beat for the children, John, la torrow, want, or pain. On Winter nights I'll teach them, John, All that I learned at school To love oor country, keep ber lawa, Obey the Savior's rule. CHOnca Then, take yonr gun and go, jto. And now, good-bye to yoo, John I cannot tay farewell; We'll hope and pray for the beat, John His goodness none can tell. May Hit arm be rnnd about yon, John, Te guard yon night and day Be our be loved country's shield, 'Till war shall pan away. Choici Then, take yonr gun and go, ftc WAR CORRESPONDENCE. Intcm-Ievr with the "Pres.' Washisotoh, Jnne 10. Dear Vanity I was ju6t on the point of taking Vicksburg last week, when I received a telegram from a gentleman high in authority, requesting my immedi ate presence here. I came at once. Before leaving the Mississippi, however, I sent Gen. Grant the following order : Headquarters, Jnne 1. General Orders, No. 1,000,000,004. -Take Vicksburg. McArone. Ass't Sup. Gen. Com. Rija. Shaya. U. S..A.M. D. L. X. Y.Z. dec, Undoubtedly, the order is filled by this time. "Chevalier," said President Lincoln to me on my arrival, "have yon con sidered the political movements of tbe day, and their bearings ?" "Somewhat, Sire," I responded, "bnt not excessively." "It is time. Tbe campaign commen ces. Wonld yon like to be President of the United States 1" "I do know." "It isn't much fun," sighed Lincoln, wearily. "It is harder than flatboating, and more confusing than splitting rails. I have had a good Cabinet and a splen did people to support mo. Bat the demagogues torture me, and the copper head sympathyzers undo the work of my armies. Confound 'em 1" added the ex cellent Chief, warming np, "what shall I do with them ?" "Draft 'em," I suggested. "Bah 1 they won't fight. They're all peace men that is, cowards," said Lin coln, with ineffable disgust. "Suppose we hang them all." "That wonld be better. Meanwhile, wonld yon accopt a nomination for the Presidency ?" "Not if yon will run for re-election, 8ire." "Yon do me proud.Chevelier McArone. Had I more such-men as those, the land would soon be blest again, and smile as it was wont to smile." I embraced his knees, which are a handy height from the floor, and thanked him with tears. After a brief silence, the President re sumed: u "Oh! wby should the spirit of mortals be proud, when so beset by the distrac tions of a severed people ? Yet there will be several candidates, and maybe more. There is talk of Seward, of Chase, of McClellan, of Fremont, of Crittenden. of Banks, of Butler, sad the hokey knows how msny more. Now all .these parties will unite, if we can find one upright, honest, vigorons, capable' man the genins of the honr'. "Yourself, Sire."- "No," said he, turning brusquely npon me. "his other name it is Chevalier McArone !" I felt I blushed crimson, and became very handsome. . "Bnt, Sire." I faltered, "why. thrnst this undue honor 'upon me? I am the lowly violet, the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valley. My business Is to blush unseen if I have done good by stealth and I suppose I have done, more than any six other men known to History shall my cheek not glow with the fire of multitudinous seas incarnadined, to find it fame?" - . It took the good President some min utes to get at the nub of this discourse. Fiaallv, be looked wise and said : 'P'r'ape." "However," I continued, "if I am to gird on the golden guerdon, and clutch tbe diadem in a single bound, ia a word, if yoa insist, I'm yonr man 1" "Ah," said he, "thank yon. I pro mise yon the suffrages of a grateful na tion." "But, Sire, couldn't yon, conld'nt you make a dead sure thing of it ?" I asked. "How ?" "By creating me President as a mili tary necessity," I said modestly. His brow darkened 1 "Aren't von asking fust a lectle too I much ?" said he; "It .doesn't strike me in that light," I remarked. "Look-a-here," said Abraham, draw ing himself up to part of his fall height, "yon are a very promising yonng man, Chevalier, and you havo a future. But I know a young man out West, who worked for my father, and he died of being too smart Now, don't yoa rather prefer the idea of longevity ?" "Tho rebuke is unmerited, Sire. I dis tinctly decline to beeome a candidate, that is, before the nominating commit tee meet. I am the last man in tbe world to do anght except what is prompt ed by the most shrinking delicacy and excessive modesty." "We'll see," said the President. There our conversation closed, but I firmly believe that all parties and fac tions can be brought to unite on me. If you, dear Vanity, will support my nomination with all yonr strength, it will be the making of yonr fortune. Be gin next week, please. You may cari- caturo me as a gorilla, if yoa like. Just as I close, a refined deserter brings ietelligence that all is quiet along the Rap pahannock. It is rainy. Yours, McArone. AnTEirca Ward on tite Negro. Fel ler Sittersuns, the Afrikan may be Oar Brother. Sevril hily respectibil gentle men, and some talentid females tell us so, and for argymont sake I mite bo in- jooced to grant it, tho' I don't believe it myself. Hut tbe Afrikan isn t our sister, and onr wife and uncle. He isn't sevral of our brothers and all our fust wife's re lashnns. He isn't oar grandfather and onr grate grandfather, and our aunt in the country. Scarcely. And yet snm por sons wonld have us think so. Its troo he runs Congress and sevral other public grosserys, bat thea he ain't everybody and everybody else likewise. Nolis to bizness man of Vanity Fair : Extra charg fur this larst remark. It's a goak. A. W. But we've got the Afrikan, or rather he's got us, and now what are we going to do about it ? He's an orfnl noosance. Praps he was created for snm wise pur pose, like the mesles and New England Rom, bntjt'smity bardtoseeit. At any rate here, and as I statid to Mr. What Is It, its a pity he coodent goorfsomewberes quietly by hisself, whare ho cood ware red wekits and speckled neckties, and gratterfy his ambishun in varis intrrestin wue, without having a eternal fuss kict np about him. Praps I'm bearing down too hard upon Cnffy. Cum to think on to it, I am. He woodent bo sich an infernal noosance if the people wonld let him alone. He mite indeed be interestin. And now I think of it, why cant the people let him alone? What's the good of continnerly stirrin him up with a ten foot pole ? He isn't the sweetest kind of perfoomery when in a natral stait. Eleven Rebellions. Since the or ganization of the Federal Government, eleven attempts have been made to resist its authority. The first was in 1782 a conspiracy of some of the officers of the Federal army to consolidate the thirteen States into one, and confer the supreme power on Washington. The second in 1787, Shay's insurrection in Massachu setts. The third in 1794, called tbe Whiskey Insurrection of Pennsylvania. The fourth in 1814, by the Hartford Con vention. The fifth in 1820, on the qnestion of admitting Missouri into the Union. The sixth was a collision be tween the Legislature of Georgia aad the Federal Government, in regard to tho lands given to the Creek Indians. The seventh was in 1830, with the Cherokees in Georgia, The eighth was the memo rable nullifying ordinance of South Car olina, 1832. The ninth was in 1842. in Rhode Island, between the suffrage asso ciation and State authorities. Tho tenth was in 1856, on tbe part ofthe Mormons, who resisted the Federal authorities. The eleventh is the present unholy at tempt at secession. A Copperhead Rebuked. The Harris- burg Telegraph relates the following as occurring at Cbambersburg : A gentleman informs us that he was present at an interview between Gen. Jenkins and some prominent Republicans at Cbambersburg. After discussing mat ters connected with the war for some time, a prominent officeholder in Frank lin Connty stepped np and introduced himself to the rebel General. Jenkins aid that be ought to refuse shaking him by the" hand. The officeholder desired to know the reason of such treatment. Gen. Jenkins asked tbe question,- " are von tbe District Attorney for this Connty?" " Yes," was tbe reply. " Then yon are a regular Copperhead." "That ia what they call me," replied the officeholder. To which the rebel General replied, " Lincoln ought to have hung yon and the rest of tbe Gopperheads. long ago. We wonld not tolerate any such men in the Southern Confederacy. We respect those who are against as in the North ranch more than the Copperhead." Vermont Strategy Private Joel Swipes, of a hard work ing, rongh-sinewed regiment of Vermont volunteers, was a good shot and a smart soldier. He found great satisfaction in pictcet duty, ana naraiy came in after a day's exercise in that branch of military service without having a report for his superior officer of some new work dis covered, some cirenmstance perceived, that might be of nse in gaining an ad vantage over the enemy. Joel was a long, lank, yellow-haired fellow, not very soldierly in speech or bearing. Ho was frightfully sunburned, and his face, coarse and demnre, suggest ed good humor and power of endurance, more than courage or discipline. Bnt there was a twinkle about his small grey eyes which enlivened them, despite their scanty and characterless white lashes, and impressed the closer observer with a wholesome respect for his conrage and intelligence. His naial voice and drawl, his round shoulders and flat build, conld not shake this respect if one kept those clear, cool, far-seeing eyes in sight, and Joel's comerades prophesied that he had only to behave himself, and keep his own way, to gain a pair of epaulets some fine day. He openly declared that manual labor on the earthworks was distasteful to him; and his officers, knowing his value on picket dnty, evinced enough consider ation for him, to keep him at that service. lbe position tbat be liked best was the 6lope of a hill, opposite a similar slope occupied by a sentinel of the Con federates. This last was quite a high bit of ground, whence one might see a great deal that was going on about tha batteries further down. Jool believed that the sentinel there stationed learned more than was good for oar side. He accordingly harassed and annoyed every one tbat showed his head on the hill side. They learned their lesson and act ed npon it. Joel sauntered down his path one fine afernoon, heard a sharp report, and felt the wind of a rifle ball that came wonder fully near his head. Taming qnickly, he saw the smoke floating up from a little pile of fresh earth on the hill opposite. The enemy had dug a pit, wherein the sentinel sat at ease, and exposed his head and arms only when he fired. Private Swipes hastened with praiseworthy pru dence to got out of sight among the ce dars, and watched for some time before fixing the location of his foeman agsin. Finally discovering the fresh earth once more, and imagining he saw a hat above it, ho took a shot in the direction. Up pegged a tall sentinel, baroheaded, and returned tha fire instantly. He had been trying the old trick of putting his hat on a ramrod. "That will never dew," soliloquized Joel. "Tbat cuss ban got tew good a berth ovor yonder. I'll just have ter rouse him out." Tho other sentinel's death was in soma sort signed from tbat moment. The crafty Vermonter's brain was at work on the problem of dislodging bis antagonist; but it was presumable that he could sea the batteries ia process of construction, without exposing himself, for the earth taken from tbe pit was piled upon the side toward Joel. From a thicket at the foot of the hill, however, a shot could be got lengthwise of the trench, and behind the trifling breastwork. To gain tho thicket, then, without being too visible on the barren slope, was Jool's task. The next day private Swipes took with him a long pioce of stont twine and a re volver, when he went ont on picket doty.' It was not yet daylight, bnt the gray and indistinct light of dawn had begun to plo in the east. The sentinel, as soon as the guard passed along, hastened to drive a smooth stake in the ground, and to rest hie musket over a fork in a cedar tree ia front of the stake, the muzzle of the weapon pointing in the direction of tha pit on the other slope. He then cocked the piece, fastened one end of his cord to tbe trigger, and be gan stealthily crawling down tbe hill on bis hsndf and knees, paying out tbe Una as he went. It was a hazardous experiment, for the thicket, when he gained it, was very sparse, and so near to the point tbat tbe Confederate sentry, had he inspected Joel's presence there, could have hardly failed to hit him. Lying down, however, tbe Vermonter, then, awaited sunrise; and as the shadows faded away in tbe mist of morning, be saw tbe Iient gleam upon a bayonet peering from the trench on the hill side. "Now for to make him show hie pic tur 1" said Joel to himself. He pulled the string carefully at first, till it was drawn tight, and then a slight extra tug fired the mnsket from the cedar above. He had not calculated wrongly. As soon as the rifleman in tbe pit beard this national salute from the enemy op posite, as ha supposed, he raised himself np to return the fire, and brought his head and shoulders plainly into sight. The next instant he went heela over' bead into tbe trench again, with a ballet from the unerring Colt straight through the side of his besd. "The darned fool!" said Private Swipes, "didn't know a fellow alight shoot off a gnn without baring 'bold "of it I" The Confederate pickets deeidtjrTtaera- alter tbat this position was too ex to be profitably occupied. SO, Old Grimes is dead, tkat good old asa. te I s 4 .l-i-.I-S.".".