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iPage.,. The" Richmond Palladium, Saturday, May 19, 1906. RICHMOND DAILY PALLADIUM SHAKESPEARE DOWN TO DATE ...HAMLET... Second of the Series of Translations of the Bard of Avon's Historic Masterpieces. Palladium Printing Co., Publisher. UOT Masonic Building, North 9th and A NO MORE. I Streets. 1I NO LESS. f r .'attired at Richmond Postofflce as second class matter. Weekly Established 1831. Dally Established 1876. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. By Msif In Advance. :Hy, cna year ?3.00.. six months, .. 1.50 I'.-l'y, three months, 75 wu!.r. one month, 25 CY CARRIER, 7 CENTS A WEEK. Pernons wishing to take the PALLA DIUM by carrier may order by postal or telephone either 'phone No. 21. - When delivery la Irregular kindly make complaint . The PALLADIUM will be found at the following places: Palladium Office. Westcott Hotel. " , Arlington Hotel. ' ! Union News Company Depot. Gates Cigar Store, West Main. The Empire Cigar Store. TWO CENT8 AT ALL PLACES OF SALE. SATURDAY, MAY 19, 1906. THE WAIL OF A JUMBLED LIR One Reader of Palladium Tells Of the Woes of Puzzle Contest. TODAY THE LAST CHANCE THE CONTEST ENDS WITH THIS ISSUE SIX DOLLARS WILL BE PAID TO THE WINNER OF TO DAY'S CONTEST. One of the readers of the Palladium, probably a woman, who has devoted herself dally to the attempt to solve the jumbled line contests, has express ed her feelings In rhyme. The follow ing very 'entertaining and clever, though unsigned effusion was handed to the Palladium 'yesterday:. AN APPEAL. , (By a Victim to Ambition.) , Dear, gentle Editor forbear To print another line ' t Of that remorseless contest, But hear these woes of mine. You see our Mary won a prize, A dollar big and round, ' And since that day the neighbor's all Each morning can be found A cutting up their papers Into tiny little strips, ' . , And pinning them and pasting them All neatly onto slips. Our husbands , take an Interest,. , They think it rather fine, But I notice often lately, That they go down town to dine " The children take 'a piece', at noon, And steps with wary tread, For mother's in the contest And its going to her head. " I have a vision night and day Of words In endless flou. All strung like beads upon a string Or flitting to and fro. The parts of speech that once were mino Are here so multiplied. They'll have to all be caught again, And be re-classified. The noun has lost its adjective, The governing verb its noun, Each preposition is possessed To run its object down. And thus they go in endless chase Before my weary eyes. In every house 'tis just the same Since Mary got the prize. ass I ENMARK, a European YTv state about the size and iLV shape of a strip of bacofa, I used to have a king named Hamlet. Fine chap. Everybody seemed to like him after he was dead. He had a son named Hamlet, Jr., and a brother named Claudius. Also, though she didn't amount to much, a wife named Gert, who, to gether with the Jeweled sky-piece of Brother Ham, looked good to Claud. Nobody, not even himself, had any Idea that Claudius was in danger of growing stoop-shouldered on account of the heft of his brain, or having to send the insurance companies a new report of his chest expansion on account of the increasing size of his heart. One day, when the King . wasn't busy, he went and took a nap in the peach orchard, and Claud went out with a little botle of knock-out drops and poured them in the veranda of Ham's ear, after which the King for got to wake up. The people, who always get It where Gladys got the goitre, were told that a bug had stung their boss. Which was true, -all right, so far as his being stung was concern ed. Gert, broad-minded thing1 that she was, took on like a geyser for about ten minutes, and then got married to Claudius. To say that Ham jr., was a sore boy over these carrylnngs-on would be like saying that being born of Ethiopian parents was bad for the complexion. He ' mooned around a lot about it. And if it hadn't been for a love affair of his own he, would have made trouble right on the start. The girl he bought soda water for was named Ophelia, and was the solo daughter of a doddering old talk foundry named Polonius, lord cham berlain or janitor or something else fn high authority about the palace. This Polonius was a noisy old auntie, who overflowed with a hemor rhage of advice if you didn't hurry past him. As a buttinsky he had the whole remaining membership of his sewing circle bleached. He also had a son named Laertes, Lurt went away to Paris, at which time the old man gave him a lot of wise 'Information, among which was that it didn't pay to talk too much. Nobody had any better chance to know this by experience than did Polonius. One night, when Ham, Jr., was dub bing around the palace, wondering where he'd left his latch key, one of the sentries called him and said: "Say Hammie, me and the other boys here on guard have been getting scared almost into the foolish house lately, every midnight, by a spook that comes loafing around here and looking uncomfortably like your now popular father." "The dickens you say!'' said Ham, jr., I'll stay and have a talk with: him. I don't think a ghost would be likely I trust you'll listen to my plaint, For I must close in haste, I hear my husband, on the . stair, And baby's got the paste.' , , I see he's bringing Doctor D. I know he'll leave me with An urgent admonition To sojurn with Dr. Smith! ME FOR THE PADDED CELL! FAREWELLl With this issue the Palladium's jumbled line" contest is brought to a close. There is but one chance re maining to earn money easily. To solve the problem today is worth $6 to somebody. The present jumbled lines have been running for several days without a single answer being correct Read the instructions on Page 7 and take a try at the six dol lars today. Answers must be in the office before 5 o'clockvthis afternoon. The page has beenr running since April 16 and during that time more than.- 2,000 answers have been receiv ed to the -contests that have appear ed. . That the advertisements In the Palladium are carefully read has been thoroughly demonstrated by this little project and the jumbled lines .have been sought for by all classes of read ers. Many, in fact a great majority of those . persons who made efforts to win, failed, while some persons won as high as five prizes. Everybody, however, whether they were winners or not apparently derived much pleas ure from the contests. Offices Discontinued. On account of the establishment of a new rural route just across the Ohio state line. In Darke, county, two rtfral postoffices, one at Greenbush and the other at Rlota, have been discontin ued. The office - fixtures were re turned yesterday to the department at Washington. fie Will open TODAY their Ne full and complete line of FREE The only exclusive Talking Machine Si (Copyright by 8. W. Gillilan.) .... to take me to the woodshed, and I can jaw him a good deal more com fortable now than I used to when he was huskier. Me to a gabfest with the thin one.'': - Along about midnight there it came.' Hame, jr., calleed out to It: "Ah, there, .governor!" Nothing doing in the colloculal. "I say pap!". Same doing. One of the spook's mitts whet up and did a good imitation of a beck on' Ham, jr., followed a piece, and the bunch of fog remarked: "Hammie, me son. there's a little stunt that sure up to you. I guess you didn't know it was Uncle Claud that put the kibosh on your pa. did you? Him with the medicine. Every night about this time. my grave gets so uncomfy that whenever I think of him and your silly mother, I just have to take a little ' stroll. There seems to be something in this em balming fluid that won't let me sleep. But I notice the milk wagons are coming around, so it's going to be daylight pretty soon, and I'm due back in my little silver-handled ulster. Nighty-night." When Ham, jr., went back to the sentinels, he looked as if he had been refused a loan by his best friend. To the guards he said: "Boys' the late lamented just hand ed me an upper-cut" that nearly made me accept the count. Now promise me something beaux: That no matt er if I get to acting dippy as the mis chief around here (and if I have a little scheme that includes bug-house behavior,) you won't peep won't eveen hint around and say, 'Oh, I guess we're on all right, all right.' Will you promise boys?' The sentries were all to the good and mum was the word. And then of all the crazy, cavort ing that boy Hamlet did it. He talked to himself a lot and whenever old Polonius was around he seemed to have a batting average that was exceeding high. He could hand out more pages of the dictionary to that old gabster without having any con nected meaning, than even the old man could do himself. He went very stale on Ophelia, and didn't care two whoops for her . any more. He figured that his mother was a sample of the sex, in which 'he was dead wrong, and that he could get along nicely; thanks without any of them. Whenever she came around where he was he said a lot of the sort of means things that make a girl cry a few gallons and love a fellow twice as hard. Ham, jr., also began dropping a few nasty hints around in the presence-of his counterfit pa, and hired a com pany of ten, twenty, and thirties, that were stranded and had just walk ed in on the ties from St Petersburg, to put on a play in which a man while asleeep was poisoned by hav- APPEAL TO YOUNG MEN CAMPAIGN IS NOW OPENED Republican State Committee Want First Voter to get the Proper At tention Literature Prepared for Their Special Benefit. Palladium Special. Indianapolis, May 18. The republi cans will make an especial effort this year to attract first voters' to their ranks. It is understood that informa tion is being received at the headquar ters of the state committee relative to the first voters of the state, with a view to their receiving special atten tion. One of the first of the campaign documents to be sent ovrf confirms the idea that the effort will be made to capture the young voter and bind him over to everlasting republicanism. This document, a sixteen page pamp-. let, entitled "A Brief History of the Republican Party," contains as one of the three parts, extracts from an ad dress delivered by Governor Hanly at Greencastle at the fiftieth anniversary of the foundation of the party on the subject, "An Appeal to First Voters." As the name indicates, this address was directed particularly to the young men. O STOniA. Bean the Bean the y?"IB IVM,U ,uu nd' Wi' The Kind You Haw Always Bought All kirns-of ircgetables and fruits at Harmeiersl 1030 Main. Phone orders No. 1111 ma CONCEPT MlUillViMlLlUl wtore, Com T A tStTVT A ing dope squirted into one of his be loved hearers. When the King saw this he was so nervous he got up, jerked his overcoat away from the checkboy, and caught Che first car for home. From that time on he had his suspicion of Ham let's particular brand of daffyness and got Gert to go and have a chin chin with him. The way Ham, jr., sassed his mother wag c caution. She didn't make much off of him. I tell you. He told her right where she got off at. She geysered some more, and while they were talking Ham, jr., heard something behind the curtains, in the room. Taking a poke behind to scare out whatever it might be. he ventilated the person of old Polonius so badly that the later couldn't talk. That meant that he was dead. "Uh huh!" laughed Hamlet "Thought it was a rat. Guess you rubbered just once too many, old stampeded vocabulary." Gert went back bawling to fat Claud. When Ophelia heard what had hap pened to puttering papa, she went plumb totally and Irrevocably dotty, and walked around decorated like a floral float at the Mardi Gras. and singing stuff sad enough and almost bad enough for a musical comedy. That was the last thing before she drowned herself. Just previously, Claud had tied a can to Ham, jr., and sent him to England for everybody's health. This was a nice kettle of peaches for Lurt to come home to from Paree. Pa dead, sister daffy and drowned, Hamlet cause of the whole thing, ab sent -Lurt was honestly provoked. He had. never cared much about pa. but he hated to leave Paris right in the height of the season. So, Hamlet having side-stepped his bodyguard and escaped back to Denmark, Lurt chose to pick a quarrel with him, as if he had Intentionally punctured pa, which he probably had. Claud nosed Into the mess and pre tended to make peace. He bought up all the poison in three drug stores, placing the stock of two of them in a glass of wine- and smearing the stock of the other on the point of a sword, and coaxed Lurt and Ham, jr., to have a little boozing bout and fencing fest First, he thoughtfully saw that Lurt had the poison stabber and Hamlet the doped drink. In the ex citement the two changed sword3. Gert (who was among those present) drank the dream mixture and Ham, jr., neatly impaled Claud, then took a nice, long swig from what Gert had left in the cup, and also died. The crowd enjoyed the slaughter house stunt very much while it lasted but soon hurried away to the nearest bulletin board to watch the election returns from Norway, where a man named Fortinbras was a favorite in the local betting. THE INVESTIGATION IS ON The Responsibility for the C. C. & L. Wreck Near Fowlerton has not Been Fixed. There have been no developments today to place the blame for the cause of the fatal wreck on the C. C. & L. near Fowlerton yesterday morn ing in which Engineer Wesley Wolf and Brakeman Oliver Bowman were killed. The body of Bowman was tak en to Peoria, 111., where the funeral services will be held tomorrow. The funeral of Engineer WTolf was held at Peru yesterday. COMMITTEES ARE NAMED Wayne County Automobile Club Gets Ready For Summer of Pleasure Run to Bethel Planned. In preparation for the coming sea son, the officers of the Wayne Coun ty Automobile Club met last night at the Auto Inn. The officers all ex pressed a willingness to make their first run to Bethel May 29 when Deco ration Day exercises will be held at that place. The entertainment and run committee w'll probably make such an arrangement. The committees appointed to have charge of the club's affairs this year are as follows: Runs and enter tainments, the Rev. Father J. F. Mat tingly, chairman and Frank Land, Dudley Cates, Frank C. Vaughn and O'. T. Knode; road committee, Prof. R. L. Sackett, chairman, E. G. Htb berd and C. H. Land; legislation com mittee, J. A. Spekenhler, chairman, Clarence Gennett and O. E. Fulghum. Fill TlU ii SLium: er Eleventh and Main Streets, with a CHINES and bon and Evenin&v 1 - in the city. They completely overshadow everything in Quality, Fit and Style. Better come in, look them through and save the difference. $1 914 Main SUITS NO MORE K , fIL t i IS I ! II I I i I SB! . ' ' I ' ' h.v.v j f -x e JOKI IH BOTH EVENTS Oldfather and Salisbury De feated Parker and Gardner Yesterday Afternoon. EARLHAM GOT BUT A SET VISITING PLAYERS SHOWED MORE EXPERIENCE IN THEIR PLAYING AND SCORES WERE MUCH ONE SIDED. It was Hanover all the way. In the double tennis tourney, which was held at Earlham yesterday afternoon. Hanover's representative C. H. Old father and W. N. Salisbury played consistent tennis throughout and it was only in the second set. that the Earlham men showed any remarkable form. In this set they began to play together and succeeded in pulling it out of the fore, winning by the score of 6-2. In the first, third and fourth sets the Hanover men clearly demonstrat ed their ability by easily defeating Earlham, the score standing 6-2 6-3 and " 6-4. The playing of Oldfather was the feature of the tourney. His steady playing combined with his ter rific serves and returns won the plau dits and admiration of all those pres ent. Frank Gardner of .Earlham played an excellent game, his work at the net being a feature. Lowell Parker of Earlham and W. N. Salis bury of . Hanover played very good games, b'u their' VotV waifatrihe "er ratic at times. The prizes which were awarded by several of the Richmond merchants, together with the winners of the same are as follows: First prize In singles, one dozen tennis balls. Awarded by the Earlham Tennis Association. Won by C. H. Oldfather of Hanover. Second prize in singles, tennis mar ker. Awarded by Mr. Morrow. Woa by Russel Wilson of Earlham. First prize In doubles, Spalding best tennis racket. Awarded by Bar ters Athletic Store. Won by C. H. Old- RECORDS. j HANOVER WINNER COOKING ANTHRACITE COA MAY DELIVERY POCAHONTA! POCAHONTAS POCAHONTA! COKE . . . PLEASE TELEPHONE ORDERS ARTIFICIAL TSASFOR COOKING ? w IT'S THE CH HAVE father and W. N. Salisbury of Hano ver. Second prize, .two tennis shirts. Awarded by Cash Beall and the Mod el Clothing Co. Won by Lowell Par ker and Frank Gardner of Earlham. Made Happy for Life. , Great happiness came into the home of S. C Bfalr," school "superintendent; at St. Albans, W .Va., when his little daughter was restored from the dreadful complaint ha names. He says: "My litUe daughter had St Vi tus' Dance, which yielded to no treat ment, but grew worse until as a last resort we tried Electric Bitters; and I rejoice to say, three bottles' effected a complete cure." Quick, sure cure for nervous complaints, general debil ity, female weaknesses, impoverished blood and malaria. Guaranteed at A. G. Luken & Co.'s drug store. Price 50 cents. ftY 914 Main NO LESS 11 HOT WEATHER STOVES! AND UTENSILS' See Our New Lines. Everything New and Elegant. BOTri PHONEGmO. 0 1" irked line run PEST FUEL WE UGED. CITY AND COUNTY Real Estate Transfers. Alfred C. Underhill to Mather Bros., Co., lots 87 and . 86. in., . Abijah Moffitt's addition to ' .Richmond' .....V.;.. 330 William Uhte to Sophia , 'tThte'; part of the south west quarter' of section 8, township 13, range 1, west ..".....$ 600 Postpone Entertainment. (Palladium Special. i " Whitewater, Ind., May 18. The Eagles have decided not to give, their entertainment at Laurel Hail tomor row night. Palladium Want Ads Pay.