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4 I'DE SUNDAY JOURNAL liV ,JNO. C. NEW & SON. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1834. The Sunday Journal lias the largest and best circulation of any Sunday paper in In diana. Price three cents. ANOTHER MOON HOAX, PROBABLY, Fifty years ago, or near it, an ingenious young wag of New York, by the name of Locke, published in the New York Sim an ac count of the discoveries pretended to have been made by Sir John Ilerscliol in the moon, by means of the large telescope he had mounted at the Cape of Good Hope. Many believed the story and many others were be wildered, while all who were well informed laughed at it as u good joko. The “moon boas” was a matter of general amusement and frequent reference tor several years. Poe pre ceded this a few weeks with his elaborate and scientifically constructed story of “Hans Pfau” and his journey to the moon, by a bal loon filled with some sort of highly rarified gas, which he had discovered and kept secret. Nobody believed Poe, though his story is sci entifically accurate, conceding him the gas he claims. People thought it quite possible to sc-e what was in the moon, though quite impossible to get to it. Now, within a day or two, we have a sort of compound of Locke and Poe, with Locke’s minuteness of detail *nd Poe's careful conformity to scientific con ditions. A Dr. Blendmar.n, a professor of the Royal Academy of Berlin, is said to have takers unusually accurate photographs of the moon with a telescope, by means of condensed camphor smoke, reducing the intensity of radiant light, which has hitherto baffled exact examination and minute photography. The photographs thus taken were magnified by a powerful solar microscope to a diameter of thirty-three feet. In this way, it is said, he was able to see that what have hitherto been thought seas were tracts of rich vegetation, and what have always been taken for mount ain regions were deserts and seas. The oddity of making lunar seas appear to the earthly eye like mountains, while tracts of vegetation figure as seas, is not calculated to predispose one to credulity. It is also said that towns, and cities, and villages, with “strong indications of industry and com merce, can be seen with striking distinctness.” This story comes broadly under tbe caption “important if true.” Although strongly ordorous of humbug, there is a possibility of a very little bit of undecaved truth in it. If ever that infinitesimal bit be fully fixed, as tronomers will nave to go to work revising their theories of cosmogony. The moon is a dead world, they say, and has died in the regular course of development and decay indicated by the “nebular hypothesis.” Worlds gather into masses from incandescent vapor, condense, solidify, weai' into shape on the surface with ice, and water, and earthquake, and volcanic force, and wear out, air and water soaking into the mass and leaving it a stony desolation everywhere. The moon is dead and Mars is dying. They are small and run their course rapidly. Jupiter is still a heated mass, and gets much of his light from the original fire of his raw material, because he is so big that he can’t cool off and run his round of existence like the small planets. Now, if the moon is not dead, but alive, and green, and populou-- and industrious, away goes faith in the “nebular hypothesis,” and the “evolution of worlds,” on the plan of the “Vestiges of Cre ation.” If no world has died in the course of evolution, how are we to believe that any world has been made by evolution? The theory does not hold up. Wo can’t ac cept an evolution that we can't see from begin ning to end; and if a world hasn’t died we can’t see the end. Our solar system conies by a direct creative act. so far as philosophy enables us to judge, if it does not come by the operation of law, in long periods of time, on the original form of matter. There are too many arguments, besides those of good eye-sight aud big telescopes, for the death of Diana to allow one to take Dr. Blendmaun’s discoveries without a good deal of help. ACROSS THE SEA. Fifty years ago two young men and their wives sailed from New York to found a mis sion of the Presbyterian Church in Northern India. It was a long, wearisome journey, in a merchant ship, via Cape of Good Hope, a voy age of over 16,000 miles to Calcutta, aud thence over 1,200 miles north by native boats on the Gauges river and across the country In ox carts to Loodiana. This city was then •n the northern limit of the British empire in India, situate on the Sutledge river, which Separated the English possessions from the turbulent and warlike Sikhs of the Panjaub on the other side. India was then held by military force altogether, by a company that, governing for gain chiefly, fostered idolatry, yielded to Moslem and heathen prejudices, supervised the collection of revenues for idol shrines, such as .Tuggernath and Kali, and turned out a guard of honor to give eclat to the annual heathen festivals. The general tide of public opinion among Europeans in India was antagonistic to missions. All the surroundings were inimical; the objects of scorn to the Moslem, of bate to the Brahman, of pity or contempt to the European, an in hospitable climate, and their location on the borders of the most warlike race in India—all these were unpromising and repellant, A sublime faith in their cause, its mercy and Its might, held these young pioneers steady aud hopeful amidst great discouragements. Jhcv planted their mission in this keathou city, with calm trust in the promise: “Lo, I am with you, oven to the end of the world.” Those facts are recalled by seeing a letter to Rev. L. G. Hay, I). D., of this city, sent by a member of the mission at Loodiana, with a programme of the jubilee exercises to be held in that city next December —a semi-centen nial celebration of the founding of this mis sion. It is to continue four days. On each da}- five or six topics are to be presented and discussed, in papers and by oral addresses, cov ering the history and whole field of mission work in India—such as schools, medical dis pensaries, preaching, the Presbyterian system, Sunday-school work, laymen, literary work, translations, etc. The last day is to be a sort of Christian Mela (festival) —addresses, music, refreshments, consecration, and to close with the Lord’s supper, administered both in En glish and Hindustani. They will have a grand time and accomplish great good. It is worthy of notice that those jubilee services are to be opened by an address by Rev. John C. Lourie, D. D., the present se nior secretary in New York of the Presby terian Board of Foreign Missions, the only surviving member of the little band that planted the mission a half century ago. The Rev. John Newton, who has been in continuous mission work there for about forty-five years, is to read a sketch of the Presbyterian mis sions in India, assisted by his son, Rev. C. B. Newton. There are many honored names in the list of speakers and essayists: Forman, Rudolph, Seeley, Tracy, Holcomb, Morrison, Carletou, Ullman, Woodside, Tkackwell, Heron, Wylie and Caiderwood, and the no less worthy names of women—Mrs. Graham, Miss Seward, Mrs. Tracy, Mrs. Warren, Mrs. Scott and Mrs. Morrison. But the most indicative of progress in their work are the names of native ministers who are to take part in the work, such as Golak nath, Caleb, Mohune Lai, Kamvarsain, Raja Ram Chitamber, J. C. Bose and Chatterjeo. All honor to these toilers in the great work of lifting a great nation into the light and joy of a Christian civilization. Tlio Journal recognizes their value and honor's their cour age aud Zealand sends them a hearty greeting at their jubilee across the sea. BARB WIRE AROUND SCHOOL-HOUSES. The last General Assembly of lowa passed a law compelling school directors throughout the State to remove, before the Ist of Septem ber, all barb-wire fences inclosing in whole or in part any public school grounds, aud mak ing it a criminal act to use such fence for any purpose within ten feet of any public school property. This laudable action is only indicative that in the future equal attention will be given to the physical comfort and mental growth of youth. There is a growing demand among the people for better care of children’s bodies in our public schools. This is due in part to the greater attention now given to sanitary matters by tbe public at large. Boards of health and sanitary associations, aided by the press, are impressing the necessity of preserv ing health, and medicine itself is becoming preventive rather than curative. The in quiries made by the Indiana State health board as to the ventilation, lighting, heating, drainage and condition of the out-buildings of the ten thousand school buildings of the State, show that in many cases school-houses have no adequate provisions for either health or comfort. The barrenness and desolation of the average country school-house is proverb ial. “Still stands the school-house by the road, a ragged beggar sunning.” The trees set out last Arbor Day have mostly perished by the summer's drought; the blinds are off, the windows broken, the door ajar, and all through the summer the country school-house has been the home of vermin and vagrants. The “straggling fence that skirts the way” admits the neighborhood hogs and cattle to the scanty grass grown since the spring term. The pump is old aud rotten, the waters foul and unwholesome. There are exceptions to this picture, but every county has a score or more of wretched and unhealthy school-build ings. There are greater dangers than the fangs of barbed wire besetting the children who attend school in such structures. In the larger towns and cities the evils are, as a rule, of another class. The buildings are usually creditable structures and the sanitary conditions favorable, but the hours of attend ance are, as a rule, too long. In the country districts school “takes up" at 9 and closes at 12, with twenty minutes or a half hour recess at half past 10. The afternoon session is from 1 or half past 1 until half past 3 or 4, with a dong afternoon recess. These hours are neces sary for the numerous classes of the un graded country schools, hut tbe work of the city graded schools can be done in two-thirds of the time, and as well. As it is, school be gins nominally at 9, but actually a bait hour earlier. Half past lon the programme means 1 o’clock to the pupil. Children who walk far must be away from home from eight to nine hours daily in the ward schools. There is, wo are assured, no evidence to show that children learn more in two sessions of three hours each than in two of two hours each, and if the schools were to closo the Ist of June and open in the middle of September it would, more than likely, be a benefit to both the minds and bodies of teachers and pupils alike. A child that rises at 7, dresses and crams a hurried breakfast, and then walks a half dozen blocks in an hour, is doing more than the average child should do. The conditions are the same at noon, with the distance doubled. We would advise our school authorities to TIIE INDIAXATOLIS JOURNAL, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 188-4. throw a barbed-wire fence about every school where these couditious prevail. “Education” is overdone —too much time, too much hurry, too many subjects for study, too little leisure aud reflection. Teachers should be examined as to their health and good nature rather than in natural science and metaphysics. Smiling, happy teachers for our schools; gradation on the basis of mental grasp and power, rather than by per cents,; shorter hours, aud more joy and fun, are the needs of schools for the busy, nervous American temperament. NVe need more education by indirection aud spon taneity, less procrustean in its scope, taking note of the child’s strength and disposition, rather than packing him for eight hours a day, and for ten months in a year, in a men tal garb cut out in the educational offices or adapted from the models of the “normal” schools. POST MORTEM PUNCTILIO. The Journal has before had occasion to commend that estimable body of men known as funeral directors for their endeavors to place their useful profession on a high moral and social plane. The national association of funeral directors, which has just closed its sessions in Chicago, has taken a long step in this direction by the adoption of a code which puts to shame the paltry pretensions of other professions which have hitherto assumed to lead in all matters connected with the higher and more assthetio standards of conduct. These funeral directors at once take a lofty position second to none but the ministerial calling. The oode enjoins every member to exert his best abilities in maintaining the honor and dignity of his profession, exalting its standard and maintaining its usefulness. Purity of character and a high standard of moral excellence were named as prime es sentials iu a funeral director. Profession al acquirements alone were held to entitle to the exercise and honors of the business, advertising of all kinds being discouraged as being derogatory to its dignity. This latter clause iu the code we must re gard as an error, throwing, as will its enforce ment, a pall of gloom ou many interesting ex changes whose pages are embellished by large, if not profitable cuts of the latest styles of caskets, and which have nothing else as fill ing for their columns. How are elderly rural citizens, particularly those of the gentler sex, who are given to rehearsing their own obse quies—how are these to decide what manner of coffin they will buy without the illustra tions by which to choose? In thus following the example of their co-laborers, the medical men, they have enshrouded themselves in er ror. It is an error, however, not so hopeless as the tomb, and being a progressive body of men it is not probable that they will become, as it were, petrified in their ways, but will soon again seek to embalm themselves in the public mind by liberal advertisements in all papers of good circulation. The code, after urging every funeral direct or not to shrink from duty but to face every danger in case of pestilence or epidemic, even at the jeopardy of their own lives, continues: “There is no profession, after that of the sacred ministry, in which a high-toned moral ity is more imperatively necessary than that of a funeral director, and high moral princi ples are his only safeguard.” When it is once thoroughly understood that these lofty principles are to be maintained, no right minded citizen need longer hesitate to place himself in the hands of these gentlemen in any undertaking. ———————at MINOR MENTION. As might have been expected, the .Sharon case is no sooner out of the way than another California millionaire is at tho front with a divorco suit. Six years ago this millionaire, by name Alexander Montgomery, engaged himself to marry a pretty milliner. Tho years went by, aud the marriage did not come off until last August, at which time tho milliner, accompanied by her two sisters and a preacher, appeared at the bedside of the millionaire, who was then ill. The sisters each presented a cocked revolver at the sick man's head, and told him that unless he consented to the marriage he would be instantly killed. Under those circumstances Mr. Mont gomery consented, and the ceremony was per formed. When the responses during its progress were not sufficiently audible a revolver would bo flourished, with a request that he would i*cpeat louder. On this same occasion also the be leaguered millionaire signed a paper, of the na ture of which he knows nothing, but evidently fears that it will come up against him as a deed, contract, or something of that sort. After the marriage the warlike party went away, and as soon as Mr. Montgomery was able ho hastened to secure the services of attorneys to free him self from the bonds. San Francisco people do not care how tho affair turns out. All they ask is to be supplied with their accustomed amuse ment. The difficulty experienced by fashionable young ladies who frequent summer resorts in securing matrimonial partnors has become pro verbial. The men won’t come near, or, coming, are too wary to be caught. On the other hand, according to watering place gossip, wealthy families who travel with their own nurse girls and waiting maids find it next to impossible to retain the services of these servants, parlicu- Varly if they are young and attractive. No sooner are tho families fairly settled for the eummer than numerous suitors come fluttering about the maids, and away they go, to tho great distress and inconvenience of the mistresses. The obvious remedy for this is to estabMsh the daughters in the position of maids and let maids act as “young ladies” before beginning tho sea son’s campaign. By this simple expedient the daughters may be married off without trouble or expense, and the servants brought back to an other years round of city duties. Thus may two problems bo solved by a single happy thought Miss Van Reid, a twenty five-year-old Phila delphia belle, threw vitriol in the face of a re creant lover, who is described as a “prominent citizen,"to the great detriment of his good looks. On bemg taken before a magistrate the young woman said sho did not know it was vitriol, but thought it was a love philter. Upon hearing that her former lover was to marry another woman she had consulted a fortune teller in regard to the possibility of regaining his affection, and had been git en a liquid with in structions to put a few drops upon his face. This being accomplished the prominent citizen's old love for her would instantly return, so the fortune-teller said. There is evidently a prom ising field in Philadelphia for missionary work, to say nothing of tlio “higher education” of women. An Ohio astronomer says: “The United States, during the last seven years, has expe rienced cyclones; an increased rainfall; disastrous inundations; tho gulf stream has changed, hence arrival of tropical fish—whales, sharks, tile fish, devil-fish, sword-fish and Crustacea off the coast of Now England; an increased number of deaths from lightning; more boiler explosions; vast quantity of icebergs: augmented death rate, horrible forest conflagrations, and more earth quakes. It Is owing to the change in the paral lelism of the axis of rotation of the earth, which took place Oct. 11, 1877. The word cyclone does not appear in a paper published in Northern States in reference to said States previous to 1877, but one hundred times since. It is said of 'William Edminster, of Steuben county, N. Y., that recently, when his daughter was sick almost unto death, he said to her doc tor, “If you save my daughter I will give you one liundrod acres of my best land.” This, at first glance, i3 a flattering proposition, while in reality it was an insult to Dr. Rush, to whom it was addressed. Are wo to presume that Dr. Rush would not exercise his greatest skill unless bribed? Is not a physician in honor bound to do his best for his regular fee, and is not this the sentiment of the profession? A Brooklyn woman claims $250 for damages caused by water which was shaken upon her from an awning. A bill of particulars as to how she had been damaged is as follows: Bonnet, sl2; dress, $9; gloves. $2: medicine, $7: loss of time from business. $95; bodily pain and suffering, $125. Total, $250. The last item is a light estimate, and shows tho lady to be made of stern stuff. Any ordi nary woman would have suffered far more than ono hundred and twenty-five dollars’ worth of anguish in contemplating the ruin of a twelve dollar bonnet. A credulous world is ready to believe a great many curious things, and, among others, accepts, without much hesitation, some very marvelous faith-cure stories. The tale, however, about the beautiful Brooklyn girl, who has been snatched from tho jaws of death by the prayers of a steamboat captain, passes just a trifle beyond tho limits of belief. It is too much. Steamboat captains, it cannot bo denied, often use scrip tural language with great fluency: but the “ap plication out” is not calculated to secure them a standing invitation to load in prayer. A “well-dressed” woman has been detected in New York city so far giveu over to dipso mania as to have been ringing door-bells, peer ing into windows, and incarnadining the town generally. It is mentioned as being remarkable that sho had beautiful rings on her fingers. Just what this has to do with plain and ornamental drunkenness does not appear. May rings be re garded as phylacteries that shall ward off incip ient jim-jams? The woman who sheds needles is now located at Sardinia, N. Y. The muscles of both arms have been partially explored, and up to last accounts no less than forty-six needles, in various stages of corrosion, had been iccovered. The woman claims that she does not know how they got there. The only thing we would suggest would bo for the husband to see that she gets plenty of iron and then go into the business of peddling needles. A South Carolina beauty, of social promi nence, lias deserted a host of other admirers to elope with a sewing-machine agent. There are people who can excuse a girl who runs away with tho coachman, but fail to understand how sho can so demean herself as to go off with a sewing-machine man. The explanation, how ever, is easy enough. It is the only way she can get rid of him. “Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now,” should be emblazoned on the curtains which are sketched across the entrances to the aisles in Dr. Hall’s Fifth-avenue Church when he begins his services. The object is to prevent late comers from entering and disturbing the pastor. The wise virgin who wants to attend this church will arise betimes to array himself in gorgeous attire. Thirteen New' Jersey girls have organized a crusade against tobacco chewers. The members of the society bind themselves never to kiss any young man or young men addicted to the habit of chewing. Thirteen i3 an unlucky number, and these girls, if they only knew it, may dio within a year. The National Association for the Advancement of Women meets in Baltimore the last of this month. By the way, has anybody ever discov ered on whom the women mean to advance, when they get a “good ready,” and how, and w'lien, and where? A man in New York city has been sentenced to five and a half years' imprisonment for steal ing $(>.75. Evidently he was not a bank cashier nor Sunday-school superintendent. MORNING TABLE CHAT. Ex-United States Senator Nesmith, of Oregon, has become insane, and has been placed in an asylum. The Garrett estate is estimated in the Baltimore Sun to be worth betweou $13,000,000 and $20,000,- 000. In his superb garden at Varziu Prince Bismarck mokes a specialty of roses of all varieties, and, when ever at home, takos great pleasure in attending to them with hie owu bar ds. Carlotta, ex-Empress of Mexico, spends only a few thousands a year iu her mad house, and the accu mulated interest of her immense fortune has become enormous. Her heirs will be her brothers. Clara Louise Kellogg is rusticating at Birming ham, and. says the Springfield Republcan, “paralyzes” the local belles by running around the streets in cali co dresses and without her best front hair. Mr. Richkpin. the adapter of “Macbeth” for .Sarah Bernhardt, has kindly added a scene to the tragedy, illustrating the murder of Lady Macduff—an incident which, no doubt, it is suggested. Shakspearc forgot. Mbs. A. Holmes, of Newark, N. J.. uanicd the male representative of recently arrived twins Ben jamin Franklin Liutler, and upon notification of the event the great rrpreseutative of labor generously sent Mrs-. Holmes Ills autograph. Asa respectable precedent (not President) tlio Phil adelphia Call recalls that “George Washington Parke Custie was married the second time tooneof his wives, many months after his first marriage, to avoid all doubt of the* legality of the first.” THE Duchess do Persigny, a rich French widow, is a descendant of tho famous Marshal Ney. Her extrav agant Utetos led her to speud SIU,OOQ during a trip to Japan, and $250,000 for a villa at Cannes. Her son has caused the courts to take legal possession of her property for fear of boingleft a peuniless orphan. Mu. Ira D. Sankk.y sang “Ninety and Nine” before an immense audience in Brooklyn ou Sunday, and ex plained that the song was written by Miss Cleffany, of Melrose, .Scotland, and published by a local paper. Mr. Sankey met with it by accident. Victor Capottl, who was very ill In Paris recently, recovered with astonishing rapidity when he heard the rumor that he was to be married next month. His note of denial to tho editors of Paris demonstrated that he is in a fair way to complete recovery. In Ills recent tour in Scotland Gladstone exhibited his vigor by walking up Beu Macdhui as easily as Cleveland will walk over Ben Butler. Macdhui is the second highest mountain In Scotland, and the entire distance footed by the Premier and his daughter Helen was fully twenty miles. There is no truth in tho report that Mr. Logan has rented a fashionable residence in Washington and in tends to occupy it this winter. He has ouly rented two rooms iu the house in question, aud, whether or not he is elected to the vice presidency, will not de part from his present modest manner of liviug. Mr. Richard Burrell, of New York, has dis. tinguished himself by ohoosing to toke up his abode on a fast railroad train. He is a regular traveler on the limited express between New York and Chicago. He has an income of SOO,OOO a year, and is too rest less to stay in a hotel. He is entirely able and willing to bear the expense of $35 a day that it costs him to live on a Pullman car for the sake of the soothing ef fect of traveling at the rate of sixty miles an hour. The Capital says of the late Mr. Garrett: “The finest trait in the character of the John W. Garrett was his devotion to his wife. He did three-fourths of his business in his library at home, with his wife at the table beside him. Surrounded with telegraph op erators—there were always three on duty, aud he in sisted that every dispatch on the business of his rail roads sent over the wives should be sent to him—his wife was always at his side, giving the office a home like appear auco.” Mrs. Bonanza Mackey, escorted Mrs. Bonanza Fair, the other day, from Paris to Liverpool, whence Mrs. Fair is to take passage for America. Os the re turning rich woman a Paris letter-writor says: “I saw at the various shops orders just completed for her. I never saw more beautiful lingerie nor more luxurious; and the prices! The bill at ono place alone for eighteen garments, all of linen and elaborately trimmed with real lace, was something near $2,000 — not 2,000 francs, mind.” M. Tuier.s was an enthusiastic collector of prints. On one occasion, a difference of opinion arising be tween him and a well-known curieux as to whether a print, exposed for salo was in the first or second state, the latter, losing his temper iu the discussion, tartly observed: “In the matter of engravings, M. Thiers, lam more of a connoisseur than you.” “No,” coolly replied the future President of the Republic, storing at the other through his spectacles, “you are not, or you wouldn’t have said you were.” The current impression that Jeff. Davis is in afflu ent circumstances is contradicted by a Georgia news paper, which publishes a letter from a lady who has just visited the ex-Confederate President, in which she reports that he is very poor. The plantation which Davis received as a legacy from a female sym pathizer, is covered with water at the present time. Davis has been disappointed also iu the returns from his book, “The Rise and Fall of the Confederate States,” which lias never been in demand since the first feeling of curiosity was satisfied. A popular sub scription in the South is suggested, of such propor tions as will enable Duvia to spend his remaining days in pecuniary comfort. A correspondent, writing from the C'itv of Mex ico, says: “All along tho length of the canal the whole populace turn out to do their washing, and at the same time to perform their personal ablutions. While I was there a horse-race claimed the attention of the mass of the people, who had come out under the cool shade of the trees. Right near could be seen whole families bathing in the warm waters of the canal. Young and comely women would step down and disrobe with as much sang froid as if in the pri vacy of a bath-room, aud paid no attention to the by standers. There whole rows of men, women aud children, of all ages, in nature’s broadcloth, enjoyed to the utmost the genial warmth of the swift-flowing stream. JEST AND EARNEST. Written for the Indianapolis Journal. Never say old maid; single ladies are “baehe lets.” Straw flats with square corners amuse the public in Paris. Mary Anderson sensibly declines to receive floral tributes over the footlights. The San Francisco Call has a department called “Scraps for the crazy quilt.” Rattlesnakes seven feet long, with ten rattles, attend church in Florida occasionally. “Edith Freckles” is the picturesque title of tho New York World's Colorado correspondent, Effie EUsler wears a ring on Her thumb. Tho big toe will undoubtedly soon be lieard from. Fifty million clothes-pins made in this country annually, and yet men are still permitted to snore. The Now York Mercury is publishing a thrill ing romance, entitled “Salome, or the Peacock- Portiere. ” Accidentally overheard: Saleslady: “Here cash, hand this here bundle to that there woman with a brown dress os,” The “banana rose” is a floricultural novelty, just brought from England. It is a large, deli cate yellow rose with a banana-like fragrauce. Woman’s tendency to change her mind will prevent her ever becoming a successful pho tographer. How could she truthfully- say, “Negatives preserved.” Mustaches, saturated with carbolic aoid, arc worn by- Marseilles women to keep off cholera. A simple mustache on a woman is ugly enough to keep off worse things than cholera. A medical journal announces that beer-drink ing tends to enlargement of the heart. It has always been suspected that some men's hearts were iu their stomachs, and this settles it. A feminine poet exclaims: “Would I were lying in a field of clover.” The woman who can not manufacture fibs without aesthetic surround ings is not by any means a fair sample of her sex. France boasts a woman who is a veritable magnet, as sparks fly from her hair when combed. Over here things are reversed. “Sparks” fly from their girls when the girls' hair is not combed. The young lady usher, recently- introduced into New York theaters, is described as a rav ishing vision of lovliness attired in a neat black dress, with a white apron, Normandy cap, and blonde bangs. Rubber belting is to supersede leather. Sweet hearts hereafter must not embrace too raptur ously, or the rebound will smack them against opposite walls, and bring the whole family in to investigate the noise. Nym Crinkle characterizes Lotta's style of tseting as “monkeying;” overlooking the fact tiirst the strongly marked traits we have inherited from our loug-tailed and hairy ances tors must be ministered to by- somebody. Caper on, Lotta; be who plants one smile where none grew beforo is a public benefactor. From the waste-basket: \V iiy, why, you hor rible fly, when you pestered me all summer long, must you remember to come in September, still buzzing the same tedious song? Well, well; I see you won't tell; 1 11 be even with you by and by-, for frosts of November, not to mention December, will stiffen you well, Mister Fly. So, so, your course you may go, ar.d tickle the top of my- head; a week or two more, your fun will be o’er, I'll be tickled indeod; y-ou'U be dead! Tle wood-cuts of eminent men, as issued by various newspapers, should have a strawberry mark-on-tho-left-arm attachment. Gen. Gresh am's own mother would not recognize hint as ha appeared, recently, iu tho Louisville Courier- Journal. The Detroit Journal is suffering from a se vere confusion of terms. It says the modem “dude” is identical with the old-fashioned “brick.” Not so; the “gay otd brick” of ancient times had a back bone, his valor equaling his vanity. The now-existing ' ‘dude” is absolutely without a spine. Mr. Peter Sarcastic says some of the fellows who call to seo his daughter must be Greely sur vivors, as they act as if they had been used to nights six months long: but he adds that when they- get the bill be intends to send in for gas and coal, if they don't propose, they will wish they- hadn’t survived. Edgar Fawcett lias a reprehensible weakness for what are called “chewing-gum names.” Iu liis new novel, “Rutherford," the characters tot ter round under such titles as Ogdon Delaney, Constance Calverley, Duane Rutherford, Ade laide Van Cortlandt, Harrington Randolph and Stuyvesant Cuiverloy. No wonder the future of the American novel is said to look dis mal. When lovely woman does get down from her pedestal to ratnole in fields ot depravity hitherto monopolized by man, it takes a very swift footed mortal to keep up with her. They wero fishing. Feeling the necessity of imparting to his com panion a little useful information, he asked: “Did you ever eat any water cress?” Holding him with her glittering eye, she replied: “Water cress-tion to ask?” He fell off the log into the mud, upsetting all the bait into the water by- liis mad plunge, while she smiled serenely up stream and telescoped a fresh worm on her hook as if nothing had happened; and the woman who was putting the kettle on tip on the bank, looked over the edge and remarked: “Well, men are queer! What on earth is he trying to do now?* O, woman, woman! FIVE O’CLOCK TEA. Now York Mail and Express. Something new in hats for the advance young girl of the period is a polo of felt with the ’larg est. kind of a bow on the right side. Hammered silver finger bowls are the latest, and it will be readily understood that no fash ionable family should be without them. London tailors will endeavor to make fur trimmed overcoats fashionable next winter, aud the style will soon travel across the Atlantia Plain white French china is rapidly- coming into vogue again because decorated ware has at last made its appearance at hotels and restau rants. Bonnets are to be very much like light houses, for the most important part will be on top. There is great rejoicing among tho midget Flora McFlimseys. Inasmuch as “real India shaw-ls” are said to be scarce—except with Queen Victoria—ladies who have the genuine wrap in their possession ought to be pleased. Bangles made of West Point cadet bell buttons are worn by- young ladies who have visited that place on the Hudson, and bought the buttons at the post-trader’s shop. Spider leg penmanship is obsolete, aud the tip top of fashion is declared to be the copper plate style, just as it is done ou tho head of the page iu school writing-books. Wedding cards or invitations are plain and un pretentious, aud worded in tho same old way-. The special card for the church is now looked upon as very “bad form.” Many of the newest dresses have sachets sewed in, and it is explained that Cleopatra started the fashion. This takes from it all the charm of novelty, but uot tbe perfume. Even if you haven't traveled much, you must now have an alpenstock as a library ornament, the stick inscribed with the names of places in highest favor among tourists. Amber is coming into fashion for jewelry, both in London aud on tbe continent. It is a trying color, and amber is associated by most people with babies and their necklaces. Since hair-dye produces paralysis of the brain, ladies not satisfied with the color of the hair na ture gave them now resort to wigs, some of which are as beautiful as they are costly. It isn’t a pitcher and wash-basin any more— oh, dear, no, but a ewer and bowl, just like the ones they had in the alleged good old days wlieu highly decorated “Queen Bess was reigning.” All walking or outdoor suits for girls of the period are to be “tailor-made,” and are to fit the alleged female lorm divine as closely as ever. This information is from the latest fashion bul letin. Anew game is with old photographs instead of cards. Tho players in turn put down what they think to be the ugliest, and the side having the largest collection of homely faces takes the trick. Newly imported rugs are very- violent in color, and will go very far toward painting the draw ing-room red. They are of extraordinary size, and are guaranteed to throw tfie hired girl every time. The newest thing in the way of a gravy-bowl Is a silver well, with tho bucket of which, some thing like a ladle, one is served. It does not al together convey an idea of the eternal fitness of things. In place of the black velvet dog collar, ladies now wear narrow black silk ribbon around the neck with the ends hanging down at the aide. The Empress of Austria is said to have started the fashion. A clergyman of the Episcopal Church wore at a wedding the other day. at which he officiated, a gown made for him by the bride, and a stole exquisitely embroidered iu gold by her own dainty fingers. What shall be said of the son of an English noblenmn who was married on Long Island the other day in a plaid suit and with the bottom of the trousers legs turned up? Surely our swells will not imitate this English fashion! To Her Who Knows. Because your eyes are blue, your lips are red, And tbe soft hair is golden on your head, And your sweet smiling can make glad the day, And on your cheeks pink roses have their way, Should I adore youl Since other maids have shining, golden hair, And other cheeks the June’s pink roses wear, And other eyes can set the day alight. And other eyes can smile with youth’s delight. Why bow before you? But if the eyes are blue for me alone, And if only for me the rose has blown, And but for me the lips their sweet smile wear. Then shall you mesh me iu your golden hair; I will adore you. And as my saint, my soul's ono shining star That lights my darkness from its throne afar. As lights the summer moon the waiting sea, With all T am, and all 1 strive to he, I'll how bofore you. —Louise Chandler Moulton. “He Git Dar Ail de Same.’’ Oglethorpe (Ga.) Echo. At a negro church in the lower part of the county tlie following was sung a3 a hymn not long since: June bug got de golden wing, liightnin' bug de flame, Bed bug got no wing at all, But he git dav all de same. Chorus—Nigger baby bow-legged, Nigger baby bow-legged, Nigger baby bow-legged, Kase he walk too soon. Could Have Given Jacob Points. Now OH V.ns Picayune. Jacob served Laban seven years for tho hand of Rachel G the old man had kept a carriage and “let Jacob' iu coach man, ho would have made the rifilo iu * ? i x weeks.