The Indianapolis journal. [volume], August 11, 1889, PART TWO, Page 11, Image 11

About The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904

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VON
Lively. J
Lebhaft.
5. rf - - ner
2-. ye ' tchotk
1. Bo - - ten
1. ro - - sy
2. he had
3. flocks and
1
KEAPLVG FOR THE SABBATH.
; lie Knows.
He knows the bitter, we;iry war.
The endless Rtrivlne. d.tr hv dar:
The souls that weop, the aonls that prar.
He knows!
IT known how hard the fljrht hath been,
Tae clouds that come our lives between,
The yvound the world hath never seen.
He knows!
ne knows when faint and worn we sink;
How deep tho pain, how near the brink
Of dark despair we pause and shrink,
He know!
He knows! O thought so full of bliss!
For though on earth our Joy we rals.s,
We still can bear it; feeling this -He
knows!
He knows! O heart, take up thr cross,
And know earth's treasures are but dross,
And he will prove as gain our loss!
He knows!
Boston Transcript.
International Sunday-School Lesson for
Aug. 18.
Baul Rejected ry tiii: Loud 1 Sam.
Golden Text Because thou hast rejected the
Vrord of the Lord, he hath aUo rejected thee from
Icin king. 1 Sam. xv. 23.
DAILY HOMB READINGS.
Mon. Exod. xvil, S-lu Moses and tlieAmale-
Tu. 18aui.xlii, s-14. Paul's tirat disobedience.
Wed.-1 Sam. xv, 19. Saul and the Amale
kites. Th. 1 Fam it, 10-31. Saul n-jected.
Fri. Idle. vif 1-9. Obedience better than sacri
fice. 8at. PeuL xi. 13-2S. Heart obedience,
fcun. 1'rov. iv, lD-'JT. Keeping tho heart.
The obvious purpose of tho historian is to
givo only so much of Saul' history as
throws light on the causes for his rejection
from the Kingdom. Tho test of Saul's fit
ness for tho position was to be hisobeUienco
to the divine will. Tho history intervening
between our last and present lessons gives
an account of thro specific acts of dis
obedience. First, in the matter of begin
ning battle with the Philistines before the
appearance of Samuel; second, the foolish
jowby which Jonathan's life was need
lessly endangered and the people tempted
to sin; third, his refusal to carry out tho
command for the utter extinction of the
Amalekites. It is conjectured from tho
fact that Jonathan is represented in the
flush of young manhood that Saul had been
Jv:ntr DOW f or fifteen nr twi-ntr vp.im jithI
that in the mam ho had been successful
and popular.
What the Lesson Teaches. )
I ew York Indtrp eudent
All parts of the liiblo aro not equally iu-
terestiug to Sunday-school scholars, nor
are all equally useful. The Bibrc is
meant to accomplish a great many ends,
and for a great mauy people. The Inter
national Minda3--;hool course is only one
of these ends. Students, ethnologists, the
ologians study this book for different rea
fons. What is dry as hay to the child is
rich food to tho historical scholar. It is
necessary to read a great deal that is mere
history to reach some of the important
truths. Probably the committee who chose
this lesson had the twenty-second verse in
view. The wiso teacher acknowledges that
there are mauy dark. Oriental settings in
the Bible to an eternal, tiauy-factted truth.
Samuel, in spite of his age and good
works, was not altogether tho best of mod
els. He was downright angry that when
he had given up his power to Saul the ex
periment was not a success. It is not un
common in tits of temper or disappointment
to deliver unto (iod a long monologue and
call it prayer. Samuel' night did not seem
to. sol ten himt for next day ho cut Agar to
pieces with his own baud; but thoso were
rude days, when they groped after the
truth, and Samuel was as sturdy for the
tight in his waj' as Lincoln was in his.
Saul sluncd with the people. They were
greedy for wealth. The crime- is too com
mon a one to-day. Xever was wealth ac-,
quired with such marvelous rapidity as in
our age. Never has it commanded such
adoration. It is the most alluring intox
leant to become rich. When money is mado
io give to i,od fur tho relief of fluttering, or
the
instruction of those that know not
Christ, then wealth i ll.i?ifr nml thn
acquisition of it au honorable calling.
Ihe day has gone by when the only treat
ment lor heathen was death. It used to bo
the fashion utterly to destroy the enemies
flfbod. Christ has taught us better. They
should be reformed through any practica
ble means; but at the bais of each trial to
ave human beiugs there should be one
cardinal virtue brotherly kindness.
iiafc the central thought of the. lessouis
if in a life of Edintoo' Town.
A SCOTCH BALULD.
BniNBURG KAUZL JSINB ZIEILE WIS IT.
100.
3. Dock all er ge - lob
2, Bru - d Xu - sff? mm
J. Von der Stadt E-din-burg
ill i i ; t l i
! i lit i
te
mer
Jtaum
HWS . i-r : :
- - v.- r 1 . ' j 1 i
1. Twas with - in
2. Jock - y was
3. But when lie
a mile
a " wag
vowed he
Her - den nicht viel,
" fslyi er der Dirn
- Ztxt just es tear,
time ot the year,
lol - lowed the lass,
herds were buf few,
ft 4 4
5 .ft
I
obedience to God. Saul found out to his
cost that it did not pay to bring irp excuses
in the face of flagrant rebellion. God lays
His commands as heavily upon us as upon
Saul. Thev are different, thought, in tho
light of other environment. W'e court de
struction as surely in the higher law of life
when we disobey God as the child does who
deties the facts that tiro burns ana water
drowns. The commands of God are as sci
entific and as reasonable ns the commands
of an engineer to step off the iron track;
but it is far more dangerous to disregard
'the former than the latter. These com
mands come to ench one in his peculiar
way. God promulgates an eternal decree
that you should make the most of yonrself
in His way; and His way is. sa far as the
world has yet discovered, the' best way
given to man.
Every one, like Saul, has his peculiarly
weak spot, and everjT one knows Just what
tho trouble is, no matter how ignorant he
may profess to be. To conquer that one
sin that dominates your life may ,gaiu you
tho inheritance of Christ. No one knows
just when the lack of will to blotwout a sin
shall project his soul away from God. As
one defective bolt in a complex iuachina
way wreck a train, so one sin that in i toler
ated may wreck a character for all eternity
by its insidious poisoning.
i
General Church News.
Forty ladies have already passqd the
committee on application, and are accepted
as students for next year in tho Chicago
training-school for missions.
The Christian World, of London, 4s the
largest religious paper in the world. In
matters of doctrine it favors tho advanced
views of Canon Fatrar and Drs. Lyman Ab
bott and Egbert Smith.
The Congregational Church, in Stratford,
Conn., will celebrate the two-huiklred-and-
liftieth anniversary of its organization on
Sept. 5. A communion service, historical
papers, and other exercises w ill constitute
the programme.
According to the minutes of the Liutheran
,Ministenum of Pennsylvania, just issued,
there are iXB ministers, 442 congregations,
and 101,S4tt members in that body. Tho
total additions during the year numbered
8.4GS; total losses, 3,000. ,
The Methodist Episcopal Church (South
is being supplied with a new hymn-book,
published by tho Southern Book Concern.
The demand lor tho now book is so great
that it is impossible for the publishers to
fill their orders as fast as they are received.
An exchange says that then are in the
city of Koine 20 cardinals, 35 bishops. 1,40'J
priests, ',o0 monks and 2,215 nuns, aud yet
11K),0U of the inhabitants can neither read
nor write. If this be the case where so
largo a portion of the inhabitants are
preachers and teachers, what a sublime
failure tho Human Catholic system of edu
cation must be. New York Advocate.
The much-heralded fact that Hartford
- Theolocical Seminary has opened its doors
to women iiaus a grauuauo 01 uuenm io
remark that that institution has been open'
to women for lifty years, and that a goof' i
many have studied there. Out of th 3
abundant data atlorded by this loug-co,-tiuued
experiment in co-education, Pr si
dent Fairchild has compilod an interest mg
article, which appears in the Iiibliotb yea
Sacra for July.
Kov. Newman Smyth, say a the Hartford
Religious Herald, referred in his sem'.ou at
Center Church, in New Haven, Surd ay, to
the desirability of handso:aie intei; ors to
the churches. His text was 11 King n, n.
".Lord. I nrav thee open his eyes 4iat
may see.?r His theme was, ".Moral V nagi
tion." He said the Catholic churc hes i
he
na
il ml
the services in them appealed to tl imagi
nation and had attractions wn jch were
helpful and profitable unto l ighte usness.
There is a suspicion in certain quar
ters." says the Christian Advoc ite (Afeth
odist), "which is no longer a r fcret, that
tho commercial element entem too largely
into the ambitiou of certaiu hi misters. No
one, is ho bold as to say that tho average
minister is too well paiu, but if t in positively
asserted that not a few ninir fers consider
the amount of salary the m ;sure of their
grade. Some preachers w'no have been
able to command high salr .ri es make this
int prominent when they am interviewed
y committees with refereu ce t o prospective
pastorates. They insist that; they must
have so much; they havfy never preached
for less, and do not inten d to, and that to
accept less would he to dy teliuo in grade."
Thoughts for h Dajr.
Conviction, were it Me rer so etxccllent,
worthless till it couvevt itself ' into coil
duct Carlyle.
A godly life is a gr a'od sermo n. Every
one can preach eucU r bcrmuu, and it will
IT- a o . . , ft 4
n r-i,-TT...--- m 1JIJ.I J . l j i
. ,3-t- -tS? -s-rrlr
I I - . 0 0
Ajf m rr c S-r 1 i I r i r-fl
117 13 II 1 1 a 1 a 1K4K1K-1
THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL, SUNDAY, AUGUST 11, 1889 TWELVE PAGES.
ihr ei - gen zu sein, Ob-sehon
dachV
zu freVn, Doch an-
ei - tie Met - le wet:, Jn cfcr
1
5
K
m t 1 -
of E - din - bo - ro town, In the
that ncv-er would wed, Though long
would make her his bride,Though his
Sie gab ihm einKiiss-chcn md
Ihr Brod er - - tearo z sicA
TTenn .Bfu - men lliih'n und das
Sweet flow - - ere bloom'd and the
Con - tent - ed she earned aud eat
She gavo him her hand and a
4 S 4 ft 5
1
not only he read, hut it will exert a an Me
influence. Christian Advocate.
Mr. Gladstone receutly said to Dr. T; L.
Cuyler. "1 thank God for the Sabbath,
with its rest for body and soul."
If we would have God hear what we say
to Him by prayer, we must bereadv to hear
what He saith to us by his word. Matthew
Henry.
The Purlin gton Free Press places tho sub
ject of parental training in a clearer light
than some persons see it when it says, .
'You can't bring up a child in tho right
way unless you happen to be traveling that
way yourself."
The Bible." says the Rev. Dr. Bruce, "is
an excellent book for the purposes of prac
tical religion, but rather a tantalizing
book for tho scholastic theologian. Its
writers know nothing of the caution aud
reserve of tho system-nmker, but express
themselves in strong, unqualified terms,
which are the torment ot the dogmatist
and tho despair of the controversialist."
Men, when in health and strength, wheth
er old or young, should, as to their spirit
ual and immortal interests, try tothiuK the
thoughts that they will need to
think and wif.h to think when
they hear t'ne linal summons
to leave this world. Thus thinking, they
will prepare their own minds to hear this
summons, as thev otherwise certainly will
not do. -The Indepoudent.
Life is a burden If you take It,
Life is a triumph if you make it;
Tho wind blows in. the bright beams shine.
The noble soul aiakcs life divine.
James B. Wijrgin.
And others follies teach me not.
Nor mnrch their wisdom teaches;
And mos t oi sterling worth is what
Our ovn. experiences preaches.
Tennjson.
The quality of mercy is not strained;
it droppeth 'li'ie tho gentle rain from heaven
Upon the nf ji.ee beneath.
" V"e do pray for mercy;
And that saine prayer dotli teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy.
Shakespeare.
' Tatlent endurance t
Attulneth to all things;
Who iiod posefeth
In nothingis wanting:
Alone God snlliceth.
, Sant TLertsa'a Book-Mark.
i A SINGULAR CJTJSTOSZ.
Ho x Bodies of Drowned Men Are Found by
Aid of Their Shirt.
Or on (Mo.) Special to St. Louis Globe-DcraocraL
An extraordinary evidence of tho reason-
9 bleness o! an old-time superstition was
;iven here yesterday, when tho body of a
f young man who had been drowned was
found by placing one of the deceased's
shirts on the water's surface and following
it in a boat until it sank. The young mau's
name vras Kyan. and he was drowned
while bathing in the Nodaway river in
company with several acquaintances. Ky
an got out of his depth and was drowned
before any of the more accomplished swim
mers could get to his assistance. The
alarm was given, but it was some hours be
fore search could be made for the body.
After every ettort had been made 03 drag
ging and diving, it was suggested to throw
the shirt he had on just betore he went in in
to the water. Near tho same place a man was
drowned in the Nodaway river a few years
ago, and his body had been found by the
Same experiment. The custom requires
that the shirt bo thrown in about where
the drowned one eutered the stream.
Agreeably to custom. Mr. Taylor, a resi
dent of the neighborhood, spread out the
shirt with the bosom downwards and arms
stretched out on the water, and let it tJoat
on down the stream as it would. He fol
lowed slowly after it in a skiff. After the
shirt had floated along for about one hun
dred feet, it suddenly sank plumb down.
The man hurried with the skill', and was
close by when the last vestige of the gar
ment was seen. Then ho stopped and felt
down with a long pole right after the
shirt, and touched the body with the end
of the pole. He told the (ilobe-Deniocrat
correspondent that his skill' rested almost
over the body, and that he let the polo fol
low right down by the side of the skill',
touching the body almost immediately.
This was said in the presence of several
eye-witnesses, who corroborated his state
ment. Not Altogether Kncouragiug.
Philadelphia Tress.
London advices auuounce that John Kus
kin's dyspepsia is better. This is encour
aging, but let us not forget that no man's
dyspepsia ia ever very good.
al - - Wnf Did Ti
liegt breit, Vnd der
1. grass
2. her
3. kiss
2, ganz
2. IIcu
was down, And eacn bhep - herd woo d nis
own bread, And mer - ri - ly turned up tho
be - - side, And vowed she'd for - - ev - er .be
ks L f
Bru-der Lu-stig Jlinkund freU Stahl ihr Herz mitSchel-me'rei; Qelangteur Kirch sienicht mthrschrie:Keint
Bru-der Lu-stig flirik undfreU Stahl ihr Herz mitSchtl-me-reiiDoch schmollend im - mer noch sie sehrie:Xeint
Bru-der Lu-stig Jlink undfrei,KUss '! sUssJen-nie beidem lieu; Das Dirnchen schmollt u.schamrflh schrie:Neiny
I.
1.
2.
3.
Bon-nic Jock-y blithe and gay,Kiss'd sweet Jennie makin' hay,The lassie blushd and
Bon-nieJock-y blithe and frecWon her heart right merri-ly; Yet Btlll she blush'd and
Bon-nic Jock-y blithe and free,Won her heart right merri-ly; At church she no more
7.
T
7 ,2,5. ntin,das geht id! nichU Ich
1,2,3. no, it will not do.
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
A recent census taken by French Vonsuls
sliows that only 40S.0O.) Frenchmen are re
siding abroad.
Four million pounds a day will bo the
capacity of Claus Spreckels's new Phila
delphia sugar relinery.
Au eleven-inch steel shell costs tho Navy
Department 13V making a full-sized
eleven-inch bombardment an expensive
matter.
Mrs. Becic, an old lady of Now York, was
so startled by a U03 throwing a dead cat at
her that she was 6trickeu with a lit of apo
plexy and died.
. A rustic bridge just completed in Hous
ton county, Georgia, contains titty-seven
different kinds of wood and vines, and all
were grown in the county.
A Quebec paper says that steamers ate
rapidly supplanting sailing vessels in tho
lumber trade. Five large ocean steamers
aro now taking in full cargoes of lumber at
that port.
An accumulator and small incandescent
lamp are so arranged in England that by
dropping a small coin in a slot the circuit
is closed and light is furnished for quite a
little time.
Judge Charles Ridgely. of Mineral coun
ty. West Virginia, owns a horse that will
eat anything that man will except a lemon.
He is verv fond of plug chewing tobacco,
and swallows it with a relish.
A lot of old letters having upon them
stamps issued by the postmaster at St.
Louis in 1845 were recently found at Galena,
111. The denominations were 10 and 20
cents, both of which are extremely rare.
A little boy of only nine years arrived in
Pomona, Cal., a few days ago, after having
mado a journev of over 0,000 miles from
Lincolnshire, England, entirely alone. Ho
had a tag fastened to his clothes and $'300
in his pockets.
During the llood at IJockford, W. Va., a
young ladv, who lost her voice last fall,
fctumblcd and fell while escaping from tho
water, and tried to scream for nelp. She
immediately recovered her voice and can
speak as well as ever.
A man of science in Vienna has published
statistics, showing that one smoker con
tracts diphtheria to three non-smokers.
11 m theory is that tobacco smoke protects
tlo throat egainst microbes very much as
it uostioys parasites on roes.
West Virginia claims to have the strong
est man in itbo world. His name is Matt
Kramer, of Putnam county. He is said to
have raised a lew days ago, apparently with
ease, a pedestal weighing 1,300 pounds, and
held it aloft above his head for several
seconds.
The Russians are increasing in tho use of
naphtha refuse as fuel. Manufacturers and
railways are adopting it, aud it is even used
for domestic purposes in stoves specially
constructed for it. It is 3.1 per cent, cheaper
than wood or coal, and occupies much less
6pace in storage.
At Atlanta, a few days ago, while Miss
Mamie Nelson was dressing a largo, fat hen,
she found a needle sticking through the
gizzard, the point penetrating the heart.
The needle was black and looked as if it
wa working its way out. The fowl was
perfectly healthy.
Tho Viceroy of Fukieu and Chekiang,
China, has issued a proclamation against
the drowning of female children, which
has been common of late. Hereafter the
Cenalty provided by law, which is sixty
lows of the bamboo and one j'ear's ban
ishment, will be enforced.
A stove manufacturer says: Tt is a cu
rious fact, proved by forty years observa
tion, that the stove trade moves in. cycles
of eleven years, each made up of fouryears
of upward tendencies in prices, followed by
a downward sweep of seven years. - We are
nowun one of the latter periods."
A system of building houses entirely tf
sheet iron has been communicated to the
Society of Architecture in Paris. Tho walls,
partitions, roofs and wainscoting are com-
Cosed of double metallic sheets, separated
y an air. mattt'ess, which is surrounded by
dillerent non-conductors of heat.
Some experiments lately made at tho
Ko.val Polytechnic School at Munich show
that the strength of camel-hair belting
reaches 0,315 xounds per square inch; while
that of ordinary belting ranges between
2.20 and 5,200 pounds per square inch. Tho
camul-hairbelt is unaffected by acids.
Light-keeper Elliott, of Gasparilla Isle.
Fla., found a 100-pound bombshell on the
islaud the other da v, and proceeded to open
it with a chisel. When he succeeded, and
saw that it was tilled with perfectly good
ttowdcr, his juir fairly stood on end, One
r
lmZ0 1 SFFg i y
m w
Ziel;
- teen - den that sie recht gem ;
Scha - -cr f ein Schatz-chen tucht gar ;
dear;
grass;
true;
4
I
5
5
mm
-0-
4
a
i
i
r f
kann nicht, kann nichtvill nicht tvsill nichtwilVs
il ' tS L ' I LI , IL,.. ..
I can-not, can-not, won-not, won-not, won-not
& ft 4 S
3 1 4 S 3
ir-i 5
spark of fire from the chisel as he chipped
the shell would have necessitated the ap
pointment of a new light-house keeper.
From a recent study of the bones of
anthropoid ape3, it appears that the gorilla
and chimpanzee approach nearest to man,
but in different degrees, tho oranir-outang
holding the third place.. But great diller
ences exist between the proportions of the
human frame aud those ot all the apes.
A veteran locomotive engineer named
William Bradley, while running between
Fruitvale and San Leandro, Cal., ran into
what appeared to be a small cloud, sweep
ing close to the ground, but what was in
realitv a swarm of bees. Tho cab was
literally rilled with bees for a few minutes,
but neither he nor his fireman was stung.
A remarkable instance of long-continued
service in the employment of a single con
cern is furnished in the case of Smith B.
Freeman, who died recently on Staten
island at the age of eighty-two years, after
having been continuously employed by the
Staten island dyeing establishment since
organization in 1S1U, a period of seventy
3Tears.
While Mrs. Chas. Rindesbacker, of Stock
ton, 111., was visiting friends in Mankato.
Minn., she was sitting talking with a friend
one evening, when she was startled to see
her sister's face at the window. She mado
a sudden outcry, and her companion also
saw and recognized the apparition. Tho
next morning she received a telegram from
Stockton stating that her sister had died at
the very hour and minuto that she had seen
the face at tho window.
Canada has 124.5S0 Indians, of whom 3?,
044 are in British Columbia. 20,368 in Mani
toba and the Northwestern Territory, 17,770
in Ontario, 12,405 in Quebec, 8.000 in Atha
baska. 7,000 in the Mackenzie district, 4.010
in Eastern Rupert's Laud, 4.000 on tho
Arctic coasts, 2,145 in New Scotland, 2.0S
in the Reese river district, 1,504 in New
Brunswick, 1.000 in the interior of Labra
dor, and 319 in Prince Edward's Island.
A verdict of death from ticht lacing
comes from a Birmingham jury, expressed
as a verdict of "death from pressure round
the -waist." The subject was a servant girl,
who died after a fright, and her death was
attributed by the medical witnesses to tho
fact that she -was laced too tightly to
euablo her to stand any sudden emotion.
She was a notorious tight lacer, not only at
the waist. Hr collar lifted so closely that
it was impossible to loosen it at the critical
moment, unoer ner corseis buo -wore ai
tightly buckled belt.
-
How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love tueel Let me count the ways:
I love thee to the depth, aud breadth, and
heicht
My soul can reach when feellnc out of sight
For the euds of being and ideal irrace.
I love the to the level of every day's
Most quiet need by sun and candle light.
I love thee freely as men strive for right;
I love thee purely a9 they turn from praise;
I love tbee- with the passion put to use
In my old griefs and with my childhood's faith.
I love ihee with a lave I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I lovo thee with the
breath, .
Smiles, tears of all my lifel And if God choose,
I shall but love thee better alter death.
KUzabetU Carrett nrownln.
"Too Thin" Not Slang,
Pittsburg Dispatch.
"Too thin" is a two-worded phrase heard
in all classes of society By some it is used
in a vulgar sense, and is objectionable
slang; by others it is used in the manner
which gavo it to us as a good word. To
sa3 when speaking of an actiou, "Oh, that
is too thin." is vulgar slang, because an
action cannot be thin. But to say;, when a
person makes a statement which is calcu
lated to mislead, "Oh, that is too thin," is
not slang. It was given currency by the
Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, of Georgia, in
the United States Congress in ItfTO. Some
member had made a rejrly to Mr. Stephens,
and the latter had his c aair wheeled out in
the aisle and said in that shrill, piping
voice, which alwavs commauded silence:
"Mr. Speaker, tho gentleman's arguments
are gratuitous assertions made up of whole
cloth. And cloth, sir, so gauzy and thin
that it will not hold water. It is entirely
too thin, Bir."
Didn't Want to He Ofllcious.
Albany Jonrnal.
Men who work in Rondout bnck-yards
should be taught their duty. Hastily sum
moned by a woman who had found a would
bo suicide hanging, and 3et alive, the3 de
clined to cut him down, fearing they had
no right to do so until the corner arrived.
As most people understand such cases, tho
coroner's duty begins after death. Of
course in this instance the coroner had a
case by the time ho got there.
11
i
s
frowning cried :No,
frowning cried :No,
frowning cried :No,
i
nicht ge-ben zu.
buo - kle fxo.
HUMOR OP THE DAY.
A Job Lot.
Time
Miss Gushleigh They say marriages aro
made in heaven.
Miss Do Linuette Well, if they are it is
plain that pauper labor is creeping in even
there. S
Tragedy In Real Life.
The Epoch.
Husband (at the opera) Pee how pale Mrs.
Upwell is! I never saw her so aflected by
tragedy before. . . . ,
Wife (sagaciously) It isn't that her back
hair is coming down.
Ileauty Unadorned.
Time.
Young Lady Bather (to nice old gentle
man atNarragansett pier) Dou't you think
that my bathing-suit is perfectly lovely! m
Old Gentleman Oh, I hadn't noticed it.
Have you got it with 3ouT
Her Mother Was Klght
Time.
Fanny (who lives across the 6treet) What
caused you to give up your singing, Ethel!
1 never hear your voice any more.
Ethel Screecher Oh, mother persuaded
me to give it up. You see, Fann3 we are
keeping boarders now.
A Strange Literary Undertaking.
St. James's Gazette.
He Do 3rou read the current fiction of the
darJ . . , .
She Not ver3' extensively. I am ashamed
to say. However, I did wade through
"Robert Elsmere'andl intend to read this
"pigs jn clover" which everybody is talking
auout.
Safe for a Itest.
Lynchburg Virginian.
"Aro you going away this summer?" said
one merchant to another.
"No. 1 am goiug to tho store every day;
but I have mado arrangements to take a
rest."
"Howr
"I took my advertisement out of the pa
per." A Smart Hutbsnd.
Texas Sittings.
Wife I am a thousand times obliged to
you, George, for this beautiful diamond
ring, but ain't you a little extravagant!
Husband No, not at all. The ring coat
$000, but I'll get the money back in a shoit
time.
"In what way!"
"You will not need so many new gloves
from now on."
' A Poor Conductor.
Texas Slftings.
Superintendent of an electric railway (to
applicant for position) What is 3'onrname!
Applicantwood, sir.
"You want to be appointed conductor?'
"Yes, sir.
"Can't take you sir."
"Why not!"
"Electric experts say that wood is a poor
conductor."
The Itathueas of Despair.
Merchant Traveler.
"Sir," said a tramp to a traveling man,
"will j'ou give me live cents?"
"What would you do with it?''
"I would go to the railway lunch-counter
and eat a ham sandwich."
"Hash man! No, I would not be guilt3 of
assisting you to such au act. Hero are
ten cents get two beers and operate on
tho free lunch."
A Mutual Deceit.
The Epoch.
Saysit Anyhowe How did you ever come
to many Mrs. B ?
Orinand Barrett (frankly) I married her
for her mone3, sho said she'd bo worth a
million on her w eddiug day estimated 1110
at that figure, you know.
Saysit Anyhowe Vhj sho deceived yon
shamefully!
Grinand Barrett Well, I was deceived,
that's a fact, but Great Scott! man, just
think how she got left!
I'aed to Hough Treatment.
Tin-.e.
Editor Oklahoma Paper (to applicant) I
am going to take a rest, sir, and 1 am look
ing for u man to till tho editorial chair dur
ing my absence. Do you think that you
could "stand it to be kicked nroaad, sir, nud
to have a piece gouged out of you now and
then?
Applicant-Stand it! Why; I always did
do mv own nuiKiug. sir. una lor ine ias
lew years I've been 1
"iou arc tho man,
shavinir myself.
sir. luUo tliocduu
al chair at oucc."