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THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL, SUNDAY, ITOVELiBEIt 4, 1CG0.
15 'S t PUBLISUED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT. The Making of Private Flatt By J. S. FLETCHER. Copyright, 1M0, by J. S. Fletcher. At nineteen a man Is not usually sup posed to cherish very gloomy views of life, but by the time he had arrived at that ad-vart-ed ase Nathaniel Flatt through sheer ft rc? of circumstances had become a con firmed pessimist. Although ho never admitted It to himself piubaWy because his powers of thought nü Introspection were almost as limited as hi vocabulary life had never assumed very favorable colors for him. He was the t son of his parents, and his father was a drunkard arid his mother a slattern, ar.d that very small corner of the earth which he called home had never at any timo been either sweet or welcome to him. He hx-l no very distinct Ideas of what It ha.! b-?en during the days of his helpless In fancy, but h? remembered the years where in a sufficiency of kicks and blows had been rr.eUd out to his youthful body, and ha lvi; w what it was like now that Is to say, what it was like whenever he ventured or was absolutely obliged to put his nose thiough the door. There was no charm for Um in its dirt, squalor, and general unat tractiveness. though these things did not i I'tl him as they would have repelled other foil: who have been used to a cleaner sort c T existence. What with his mother's thrill voict', and the crying of the younger children, and the curses of his father when that worthy person chanced to be at home the Whitechapel tenement was no bower of domestic blis3, and Nathaniel knew it by toiv.e sheer, blind instinct, and kept away from it as religiously as he possibly could There came a day somewhere about the middle of Nathaniel's twentieth year when circumstances of an extremely pressing na ture oMiged him to slouch homewards. He was hungry. It was not the ordinary, com rrun, twopenny-halfpenny hunger which was always with him, but real, ravenous, fierco hunger; hunger that seemed to be gnawing the very inside out of him. He had had no luck for some days. Nothing had seemed to get right. He had found no difficulty about lodging himself, for it was summer and you can , always find a corner wherin to sleep In London, however many policemen there may be about. But when one has put no food Into one's mouth for two days and a night well, one may be excused for visiting one's paternal home and soliciting help from one's mater nal parent. And so Nathaniel turned his face from Covent Garden, where he had been trying to find a job and had not suc ceeded, and went slouching eastward until he came to the peculiarly dirty and noisome court wherein the ancestral roof was situate. It was then mid-day, and the smells were many and vicious. Mrs. Flatt was not pleased to see her eldest son. It may have been the way In which Nathaniel came in at the door which worried her. He had a trick, born of long years of fear and suspicion, of making his entrance by a very gradual mode of pro gression. He would get his foot round the doorpost first of all. and then one eye, followed by his nose and the other eye, and after these members of his body had reconnoitred the situation his brain would either signal a retreat or an advance to them and the rest of his frame, according to prospects. It was somewhat disconcerting to any one within the tenement to be thus ap proached, particularly if they happened to be drinking something out of a small bot tle, as Mrs. Flatt was upon this occasion. Therefore there was no wonder that Nathaniel's mother greeted him by flinging the bottle when emptied at his head, and then emphasized her welcome by a volley of choice terms and carelessly chosen epi thets. Nathaniel evinced no surprise it was the usual thins. He laughed uneasily and stood fumbling his greasy cap. Some thinghe never knew what alway3 made him take off his cap when he approached hia mother. "Give us a bite o' something mother," Faid Nathaniel, urgently. "Ain't had a taste o' nothin since day afore yesterday s'help me; not a bloomin bitel Come on. mother, give us a bite o bread." Mrs. Flatt burst into speech. She asked Nathaniel what he took her for. She wished to know what he thought of him self. Did he think his poor, hard-workine father and mother slaved for the likes of him? Wasn't he old enough and big enough and strong enough to work for him self? Didn't he ought to be ashamed of himself for coming there and taking the bread out of the children's mouths? Didn't- "Gawd's trufe, mother, I cawn't git a Job!" interrupted Nathaniel, humbly. "An I ain't had a bite" "Why don't eher go an 'list, then?" de manded his . parent. " 'List, yer bloomin do-no-good; 'list.' Nathaniel fumbled at the greasy cap and looked at Mrs. Flatt with furtive entreaty. There was a loaf of bread lying on the table Immediately before him. and the sight of it was making hhn desperate. He looked at his mother and then at the bread, and at the bread and then at his mother. Sud denly he made a dash for the loaf and his mother with a. scream made a dash Tor him. J:ut Nathaniel was young and nimble, and 3Irs. Flatt was fat and unwieldy and much f;iled by inordinate consumption of bad fcin, and er? she had realized what had hAp:--ned the thief and his loot were safely outj-ide the door and speeding down the court. Mrs. Flatt filled the open doorway end rrcd three volleys of curses after him. She i-aw Nathaniel turn the corner tnto the street and since then she has never ktvn back or front of Nathaniel again. That was the manner of the final sever ance of the relations between Nathaniel and his iamily. ne was not at all concerned that ii should cccur in such a fashion, his sole concern just then was to find a quiet eonu-r and fill his aching belly. That was n- liitticult thir.g-his knowledge of the lo cality quickly steered him into a safe refuge. He sat down and drew the loaf from under his coat and looked at It. If the leaf had been a sentient thing it would have remarked to Itself that the end was Jtt hand. Within ten minutes, indeed, the loaf was not. and Nathaniel grunted with deh-hted relief. ne gct up aDd went away a hhurt distance to a pump, and there he drunk water and was satisfied. Then he fctood in a paton of sunlight, against the vail of a blacking iaanufactory, and he put h;: I.ai.di in hU pockets and whistled a ti.r.e ar.d danced a tort of shuffle with his icvt, and for the time being he was happ. liut when the first flush of excitement C('::u,,iUlt uIcu ihls magnificent banquet Vi.:, our, Nathaniel gave over shuffling ana whittling and went away up the street thir.king. Tfct sttrr admonition of his ma ternal parent still rang in his ears. Why should he net go and bo a soldier? He looKcd himself up and down and wondered what a recruiting sergeant would say to hi m. And suddenly knowing exactly " "ouu go wnen the thing was to U- done ho et out In order to let the recruiting sergeant an wer that Ques tion for Umielf. The recruiting sergeant eyed Nathaniel narrowly. He remarked to himself that Nathaniel was scum. Still you can get something out of scum sometimes. It would take a good deal to get something out of this scum, but there were men In the army who would do it plenty of them. As for the rest, Nathaniel was not bad ma terial. He was half-starved, true; but a six months existence on a British sol dier's rations would make a man of him. He slouched, and shambled, and had con tracted, a foolish habit of rounding his shoulders, but the army Is not without drill-sergeants. Altogether, there was Just a chance that he might make a soldier. And so Nathaniel Flatt became a soldier of the Queen and was sent off to the depot of the regiment Into which he had enlisted and for the next few months he was licked and kicked and earthquaked into something like shape, and knew misery in many forms; but as tho Queen clothed him, found him a bed and gave him regular meals, he was satisfied, and in some re spects happy. Also he learned something about the art and science of soldiering, and the importance of keeping himself clean; and when, a year after his enlist ment, they sent him out as part of a draft to the regiment in India he presented a very different appearance to that which he had exhibited when he slouched up to the recruiting sergeant and asked for the Queen's shilling. It was something moie than a pity that Private Flatt's military lot should have teen thrown in with that of the Queen's Own Northshire Light Infantry. Most of the men of that distinguished regiment are Northshiremen even as the territorial sys tem desires they should be; and being Northshiremeu they look upon the children of other counties as of no Importance when compared with themselves. But about the time of Private Flatt's enlistment, the Q. O. N. L. I., had been below its strength; and as Northshiremen could not or did not come forward there were some men who were not Northshiremen came into the regiment and Nathaniel was one of them. It was a mistake, and Nathaniel had dim, very vague notions that it was a mistake during the time he spent at the depot in a Northshire town. But then he was only one amongst a crowd of recruits, all equally raw and rough; It was not until the draft got out to Kistnamutgar and was absorbed Into the regiment that the fullness of his isolation began to realize itself in his soul When the realizing process began, the heart of Private Flatt became very bitter within him, and he went down into hell, and there he abode for a weary space, as many better and lots of worse men have done before him. It was the first night In cantonments that saw Private Flatt begin the easy de scent, and it was Private Holllngworth who pushed him to the edge of the first step. He was a devout Northshireman, this Holllngworth, who believed in the ter ritorial system to such an extent that he hated every Westshire and Southshlre and Eastshlre man who dared to come into thi regiment by any door that might be opened to them. Therefore, when he, finding that by some means or other a Cockney street boy had been Introduced into his own par-, tlcular company, opened his mouth to ven tilate his opinions on the matter, he said things unpleasant to hear. They were not Intended for Private Flatt's bearing, or not supposed to be heard by him, but he heard them very plainly. He was somewhat dull and obtuse by nature, and it surprised him at first to hear that there were people In this world who regarded what they called Cockneys as being the most supreme fools, or knaves, or scoundrels, or scum, in cre ation. Until then Private Flatt. who had' enjoyed a liberal education in the ways of the world as seen and felt amidst the Lon don streets, had always believed himself to be a citizen of no mean city, but now. lie looked round In some amazement at Holllngworth. The latter, a magnificent animal with the strength of a lion and tho mental ability of a rabbit, saw the Cockney look at him, and looked back. From that moment there was war between these two men. Some old survival of savagery in Holllngworth impelled him to treat the smaller and weaker man with whatever cruelty he could bring to bear upon him; and the "mere fact of his physical defense lessness and of the injustice of his tor mentor's pursuit of him woke up in Flatt such a hatred of his oppressor as only the weak can feel for the strong who misuse this strength. And so the thing began. Private Flatt went down Into hell swiftly and surely. He had no mate, pal, friend, and scarcely an acquaintance. His Cock ney accent made him an object of dislike. Nobody drank with him, talked with him, or walked with him. His life became an af fair of dull, colorless monotony, relieved only by the tricks his comrades played with him. He did his duty in a mechanical, spiritless sort of fashion, and the sergeant watched him as a huntsman watches a hound that looks like slipping away. No body took his part when Holllngworth treated him to a few brutalities it was fun, thought the men, if they thought about it at all, to see the Cockney baited, and be sides who would waste sympathy on a Cookney? Moreover, private Flatt hadn't the spirit to defend himself wasn't he known throughout the regiment as Perfect Flatt? and therefore was not worth de fending. And, after all, what did it matter that one man. should possess his soul In bitterness? But at last there came a time when Private Flatte broke out broke out in the worst way. Seeing that he could get no companionship from men, and feeling per haps, the want of the society which he had enjoyed at street corners and in railway arches during the days of his youth, he made friends with another creature which until then had been as friendless as him self to wit, a lore dog of most disreputable appearance And enormous appetite. With this dog Private Flatt used to walk much at such times as duty did not call him, and for it, being foolishly weak in his affections at that time, he conceived a great liking. If he and the dog had only shown their affection for each other far removed from the sight of other people all had been well; but, unfortunately, the dog grew so fond of Flatt that it began poking its nose Into Company D room in quest of him., It did this twice without experiencing mishap; but on the third occasion it foregathered at the door with Holllngworth. The dog knew that it had no business there, and it smiled deprecatingly in Hollingworth's face and wagged a ragged tail. Then Holling Worth raised his foot and kicked the deg fair and square into the parade ground, and It, being always a dog of no luck, lighted on Its head and broke its neck, and lay there dead. Flatt was approaching the door and saw the deed done. He said no nord and made , no cljn, tut ba walked over to tha dead dej and picked it up and came back and laid It down against the wall, in the shade. Then he straightened himself, and walked to the door, and two or three men hanging about there with Holllngworth saw his face and were suddenly more afraid than they had ever been in their lives, and they shrank away. And Flatt lurchtd past them and went across the room, and before any body could get to him he had taken down his rifle. No doubt Flatt cursed that rifle many a time afterwards. Something jammed, or something stuck anyhow, before his trembling fingers could put things right he was pulled down by a dozen pair of hands, and the rifle torn away from him. And thereupon rose a hubbub and such In terchange of opinion as you can only hear in a barrack room and as can only hap pen In a barrack room there arose a di version which put Flatt clean out of every one's mind. For there was one man of Company D who loved dogs any sorts of dogs and all sorts of dogs much better than his own soul, and who had witnessed the occur rence wherein Hollingworth and the dead mongrel were concerned, and he told the former his opinion of him in such a very plain and easily understood language that within two minutes everybody but Flatt was hurrying off to a quiet corner. As to what happened there between Holllng worth and the dog-lover matters not: but the events in which they figured for the best of an hour made everybody forget that Flatt had been on the verge of a murder. That afternoon, for the first time In his life. Private Nathaniel Flatt got drunk. Not quietly drunk, nor outrageously drunk; but hopelessly, overwhelmingly drunk. He was not aware that he spent the succed Ing night in durance, but he was painfully aware that he had transgressed next morn ing. But transgression became common to him. He had broken out at last, said the sergeant who had been watching him, and now he was "a-going it with the worst of 'em." And so Private Flatt probed some very low depths of hell and suffered badly, and there were times when he was sorely tempted to put a bullet through his brain. But there was one thing kept him back. He had made up his mind that sooner or later he would give himself the pleasure of killing Private Holllngworth. He was not quite sure how he would do it, but he would dot it somehow. An opportunity would come when he could perhaps do it comfortably at his leisure. Meanwhile he would get drunk as often as possible, and spend his time in doing cells, and shot drill, and so on, and in anticipating his revenge. Meanwhile, some other folks were troubled about Flatt. Holllngworth was trobled because he remembered the look in Flatt's eyes when he sighted him over that murderous rifle. He had left Flatt alone after that, but he was not sure of him and for a long time he kept out of dark corners and lonely places. Flatt himself frequented lonely places a great deal; so it was In one of them that the colonel came across him one memor able afternoon. Oddly enough, the colonel had had Flatt in his mind for quite ten minutes when he chanced to meet him. It bothered him that one of his men should be slipping along the broad and easy path so quickly as Flatt seemed to be doing, and he had more than once wondered whether it might not be a good thing if he had a little friendly conversation with the delinquent. lie came upon Flatt therefore at an op portune moment. Flatt was sitting on the bank of a ditch; his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands, his sharply outlined face the picture of misery and depression. The colonel looked at him for a moment and felt uneasy. Then Flatt became aware of his presence and sprang to his feet and did customary reverence. The colonel looked at him again and something outside a military feeling suddenly filled his breast. "I'm afraid you're not very happy, my man?" he said. Flatt stood at attention, flushed and awkward. There was something: In the colonel's tone which he had never heard in his life before. "You don't get on very well with your comrades I'm afraid, eh?" said the colonel. Then Flatt forgot his confusion and pulled himself straight. "I ain't no complaints, sir, thank you, said he. The colonel smiled. He liked Flatt better after that. "But you don't get on with them very well, eh? Rather down on you, aren't they, now and then, eh?" Flatt grew stiff er. He turned red, pale, mottled; his mind was endeavoring to realize what all this meant. "I I I ain't got nothing to to say, sir," he stammered at last. "Thank you, sir." Then the colonel liked Private Flatt still more. He looked at him more searchlngly. "Where's that curious-looking dog you used to have about you?" he inquired. "He he he's dead, sir," answered Flatt. "Dear, dear!" said the colonel, who had long been acquainted with the true facts of the unhappy mongrel's death. "How did he die? What was the matter?" "Met with an accident, sir," said Flatt, promptly enough. "Ah! I think you are fond of dogs?" "Yes, sir." "Do you know anything about them?" Flatt blushed dog-knowledge was his strong point. He began to say what ho knew, and the colonel helped him out, and within a few minutes Flatt found himself appointed to look after the colonel's dogs, of which there were many, and for a mo ment he forgot that Holllngworth had killed his dog and that he had sworn to kill Holllngworth. From that afternoon onward Flatt never got drunk again and there was no more trouble with him. The only trouble was that the colonel grew Inordinately proud of the fact that he had tamed a human beast, and boasted so much of his diplomacy that everybody grew sick of hearing it talked of. But Flatt was only partially tamed, whatever the colonel might think, for he cherished hl3 hatred of Holllngworth as closely as ever, meaning to kill him .when ever he got a chance of doing It in the way he most desired. As time went on Flatt began to think in an evil, cold-blooded fashion over the ways and means by which he could com pass his enemy's destruction. At first, when the red fire of hate was fierce within him, he would have slain Holllngworth here, there or anywhere, and hung for him afterward all he wanted then was his blood. But as the first glow of his hatred died away, settling itself into the even more deadly calmness which now . filled him, it occurred to him that there was mi need to thrust his own head Into a noose In order to revenge himself upon Holling worth. He could get rid of him, sur-jiy, without anybody being the wiser. When he had arrived at that mental stage Flatt's natural cunning began to as sert itself. He began to watch Holllng worth, to observe his golngs-out and his in-comings, and hs did everything without letting other men see that he was doing it. Holllngworth himself was unsuspicious; ever since the aflalr of the mongrel and the rläe he had left Flstt alone, and since TlzlVa ?pct::::t u dejmoa to tfc colonel the Cockney had troubled the com pany so little with his presence that he hadbeea almost forgotten. When he was not occupied with his duties he was at tending to his dogs, as lonely and silent and reserved as ever. But Flatt was watching and waiting for all that. It was pure chance that suggested the final means to the fulfilling of his vow of vengeance to him. He was returning homewards one day from a long stroll, every yard cf which had been accompanied by some thought of the deed he meant to do, when In rassing through a thick grove of trees he caught sight of a man who was evidently sitting on the bank of a pond or tank. The figure had its back to him, but Flatt was certain that it was Hollingworth's. He crept nearer and still nearer, and at last executed a flank move ment through the undergrowth, which brought him to a spot where he could com mand a full view of his enemy. And as he looked he suddenly saw how the thing could be done. Holllngworth was sitting on the bank of a square pool a pool of artificial con struction, the four sides of which rose to a considerable altitude above the water's edge. There were several fish lying on the bank at the side, and he himself was deeply absorbed in his sport, and heard nothing. It flashed upon Flatt that here was the very place for his revenge, and here the very means for concealing his guilt. .He could steal upon his enemy from behind, stun him with a blow, thrust his body into the deep pool beneath. Flatt knew it was deep deep enough. If a sense less man were rolled into it he would drown before consciousness came back to him. Nothing could be easier, nothing better. He stole away again, revolving and perfecting his plans. The next day, Flatt, strolling casually about, saw Holllngworth ret out with his rod and vanish in the direction of the pond. He himself lounged up and down for a long time, and when he went off at last it was in the opposite direction. He had got some little distance away when he heard sounds of canine entreaty in his rear, and locking round, perceived that his own par ticular pet amongst the colonel's dogs, a little fox terrier, was following to his rear. Flatt uttered an exclamation of annoy ance; and he was not minded that even a dog should see him do what he meant to do ere he returned. But he waited until the animal came up and Jumped at him. "You bloomin' little noosance!" said Flatt, taking him into his arms and fond ling him. "What'll I do with you, now, eh? S'pose you'll have to go along o' me, eh? Come on, then." He set the dog down and the two went on together, the man walking with bent head, occasionally muttering to himself, the dog frisking about his heels. For an hour they went straight on; and then Flatt made a wide sweep round, traveling by ways well known to himself until he came within sight of the grove wherein sat his enemy, all unsuspicious of danger. When they came to the edge of the grove Flatt stopped. He peered about through the undergrowth until he caught sight of Hollingworth's broad back, and then he looked at the fox terrier in some perplex ity. The fox terrier looked back at Private Flatt. It had a pair of very bright and in quiring eyes and a trick of cocking one ear holding its head on one side as it looked at you. That trick used to please Flatt and made him fove the little dog almost as much as he had loved the mongrel. But for the first time in his period of friendship with It Flatt found himself unable to re turn the fox terrier's ardent gaze. His eyes shifted furtively. Flatt suddenly sat down at the foot of a tree and his head dropped forward towards his chest. He couldn't do it with the dog there! no, he must go back and follow Holllngworth some other time, unaccom panied. If he did it in the dog's presence he felt that he would never, never be ablo to look it in the face again. He jumped to his feet, with a low whis tle to the fox terrier which had strayed some yards away when he sat down, and made as if to turn away. But the fox ter rier had suddenly nosed some live thing in the undergrowth, and with an ascending succession of "yells and yaps it dashed be neath the branches in the direction of the place where Holllngworth sat dangling his l:ne over the duck water. Then Flatt for got his enemy's very existence and turned after the dog, calling, whistling, cursing. He crashed through the grove after it It was all done so very suddenly that Flatt never knew exactly how it occurred. He had a confused vision of Holllngworth, the peaceful angler, suddenly starting up, losing his footing and tumbling over Into the deep pool below, then he himself was . on the bank, holding on to the branch of a tree and looking fearfully down, wonder ing if his enemy's head would ever bob up again. Holllngworth came to the top with the force of a projectile. He had gone a long way down and he came up with correspond ing speed. As his head rose above water he blew the water out of his mouth and opened his eyes, and looked full into the eyes of Private Nathaniel Flatt, whom he had sore missused, and for the first time in his life Hollingworth's soul grew sick. Flatt stared and stared he had forgotten the fox terrier entirely. He noticed the depth of the four artificial walls of the pool no man could possibly climb them. He looked about him desperately there was a mighty log of wood close by. If he could get that into the pool the man might cling to it until he got further help. But "Can you swim, Holllngworth?" he shouted. ' "Only a, bit Just to keep afloat that's all," gurgled Flatt's enemy. "Can't hold up long." "Hold up hold up!" screamed Flatt. "There's a log here'll keep you afloat. Hold up!" How Flatt dragged the heavy log to the edge of that murderous-looking pool he never knew. But at last he had it there and tilted over the side. He shut his eyes as it slid with a mighty splash into the water. Hollingworth's bulky form disappeared again, then his head came up once more and his long arms grasped the floating Tog. ne looked up at Flatt and nodded. "Going for rope an men!" panted Flatt, and turned crashing blindly through the undergrowth. Once clear, he ran, ran, ran In a straight line, panting, puffing, his heart nearly bursting and an ever-tightening cord pressing about his temples. Once he reeled and fell, but was up again In a" second and running as hard as ever. And so he burst upon an astonished company on parade, throwing up his arms and jerk ing out his news between his sobs. And then, as a score of men fled away pond ward with ropes and salvation he suddenly fell down and fainted like a girl. But when Private Flatt came round again he knew that the black fever in his heart was gone forever, and when they brought Holllngworth safely home the enmity wa3 slain once and for all in their handshake. And after that Flatt took the fox terrier home, and what he said to it on the way nobody ever shall hear. In 22ary Tndor'g Time. New York Evening Sun. Did anybody say Elegant Diction? "S blood," "Gadzoods," "Ood d'enf "Good morrow," "Mary, knave. thouIt suffer for this'" ij th3 c;rt cf CUnj tfcst cuptrScially short-sighted chroniclers have led us to ex pect from the inhabitants of the sixteenth century. In "When Knighthood Was In Flower" the characters "How-de-do" each other so naturally that the reader can al most see them give the high handshake. We are introduced to "Lady Mury's par lor," and we're only surprised not to find it equipped with upright piano and patent rocker. Only a great restaint on the part of the author, surely, keeps us from learn ing how the lovers went out automobillng together and how unreasonably jealous she was of his pretty typewriter HUMOR (U7 THE DAY. Her Name. Modern Society. Jessamine Why do you always call me Eevenge? Jack Because you are so sweat. How He Came. Brooklyn Life. Morgan They say he came from a very wealthy family. Wright-Came? Huh, they drove him out. Someirhat Large. Puck. First Fly That's what they call the fly wheel. Second Fly Strikes me they should have named It after the elephant. A Cheap Prescription. Puck. Mrs. Crabshaw You seem pleased that my doctor recommended a five-mile walk. Crabshaw Yes, my clear; I was afraid he would recommend an automobile. Delicate Irony. Harper's Bazar. "Gracious, little boy! You're not going to kill the dear little birds are you?" "No, dear lady; I'm merely goin' ter fire off several salutes in dere honor. Dat's all." On the Contrary. Judy. Vane Glory I hope Swalnston said noth ing about me the other 'night, old chap? Cecil Swarve Not a word, old man. In fact, we had quite an interesting little chat Hoy It HappenetL Judge. First Bunko Man I sold ten gold bricks in one day last week. Second Bunko Man County fair? First Bunko Man No; convention of free silverites. On Enrtu Novr. Life. "I think I shall take Ruth to Niagara." "Didn't you -just go there on your wed ding trip?" "Yes, but now we want to go and see what it looks like." What He Wanted Chicago Times-Herald. "They say he married her because he felt that his children needed a mother." "Yes. He has just bought her a $2T-i toy dog and sent his children to live Willi his first wife's mother." How to Receive. Life. Mrs. Youngwife I have at last discov ered how to receive guests properly. Mr Youngwife? ? ? ? "I have everything ready and then look awfully surprised to see them." On the Inside. Life. Friend ITow does it come, Pushlngton, that you, who have so frenziedly denounced monopolies and combinations, have sold your factory to the trust? Manufacturer Well, I ah! discovered that the best place to fight the octopus is from the Inside. Ostracise Him. Somervllle Journal. ""First Workingman Hodder Is going to be married. Second Workingman Well, I don't care. First Workingman Don't you, though! He's going to marry a working girl, and she doesn't belong to the union. A Bnrgrnin at $49.70. Catholic Standard. "Speaking of singing," exclaimed the nightingale, sneerlngly, "of what earthlv use are you? You couldn't touch a high tiote in a thousand years." "Oh! I don't know," replied the bird of paradise; "I'm likely to be embalmed on a bonnet some day, and then I'll make a $50 note look like 30 cents." OUT OF THE ORDINARY. Silk dresses were worn in China 4,500 years ago. No military parade or drill, except in case of war, riot, invasion or Insurrection is law ful on election day in New York. A chameleon, when blindfolded, loses the power to change its hues, and the entire tody remains of a uniform color. Common laborers in Spain get from 30 to 40 cents a day in the larger towns and from 20 to 20 cents in the rural districts. There are now in the United States about 20,000 miles of street railways, of which BOO miles are still operated by horses. It was only one hundred years ago that we began exporting cotton in quantities adequate to the demands of England. In 1S90 the population of Arizona was placed at 59,620, and this year it is given as 122,212, an increase of 104.9 per cent, in the decade. The regular army of the United States on Jan. 1. 1S04, consisted of 3.2S7 men; on Jan. 1, 1S44. of 8,573 men, and on Jan. 1, 1861, Of 16,422. The Hebrew population of London has more than doubled during the last twenty years. It is now estimated at between 100,000 and 120.000. Cannon are known to have been used a thousand years before Crecy. A five-hundred-year-old magazine rifle has recently been unearthed at Nuremberg. Calicoes were imported from India before they were made in England. As soon as the looms were set working largely In Man Chester laws and armies destroyed the In dian calico trade. A few of the larger public libraries In the country have added music to their circu lation departments, ad "with marked suc cess. The Idea is spreading now to the libraries in the smaller cities. In the United States there is one church for every 337 people. Boston has one for every 1,000, Minneapolis one for every 1,054. Twenty-four million people attend church in the United States every Sunday. Arrangements have been made for the settlement of 450 Russian families near the new town of Ladysmlth, Chippewa county, Wisconsin. The immigrants will come from the vicinity of Odessa, In southern Russia. In 1S43 the postage on a letter from New York to Wisconsin was 25 cents. People wrote long letters in those days in a fine ccpper-plate hand on thin paper to get the worth of their money but they wrote seldom. There are about 3,500 miles of railroad In Russia, of which 2.&00 miles are operated by the imperial government. Pension funds are maintained for the employes of these roads. These funds amount to something like $05,000,000. Bees are excellent weather prophets. There is a common country saying that "a bee was never caught in a shower." When rain is Impending bees do not go far afield, but ply their labor in the Immediate neigh borhood of their hives. A New York woman has a unique manner of making a living. She goes from house to house of the fashionables of New York, and directly under the eye of her customers cleans the family jewels. She carries all her implements for cleaning in a little hand satchel and thus almost unincumbered goes her rounds. At the birth of a Japanese baby a tree ts planted that must remain untouched until the marriage day of the child. When the nuptial hour arrives the tree is cut down, and the wood is transformed into furniture, which is considered by the young people as the most beautiful of all the ornaments of the house. The telescope, so far from being, as la generally averred, the outcome of the fa mous experiment of Galileo, was known at least three hundred years before his time; while the microscope certainly dates from the early part of the ninth century, although greatly Improved in the sixteenth by Jansen and others. VThen pins were first Invented In the four teenth century the maker was allowed to c:il U:tJ ca its Ut tEi Zi cf Jcucry c7 Mi . . Fine Out Garments Warm weather is responsible for this. The phenomenal incrcas- in our September and early October sales caused us to set.d in heavy orders. Most of these good are here now, balance will arrive Monday or Tucsd iy and must be sold quick. The weather in the past two weeks has been unfavorable too warm trade consequently suffered. We now have to crowd &ix weeks busi ness into four. Of course we'll have cold weather lots of it, too. We're get ting it now, but we've got to make up for lost time, so tvou't take any chances. Here are inducemenis for you: S A A A Iluvs a handsome Kersey lUsUU Jact aJnvo?1',i?,tan' castor aud black, full sat in lined, lapels, cuffs and bottom beautifully stitched, the kind you generally pay 13.50 for. f"A A nobby Box Jacket, fine dlMsDU a"wo kersey, tan, cas- tor, black, navy, red, best satin lining, inlaid velvet collar, worth fully $ 15. (17 TA New stvle Box Coat, all tPllsdU colors' t.(luirtyvHer- sey. made w:tu Medici or plain coat collar, bell sleeves, guar anteed satin lining, beautifully stitched, worth $22.50. Space limits us to quote more pt ices. We've too many different styles to attempt to describe them here. Everything, though, included in theie re duced prices. Hetcher National Bank OI INDIAXAPOLI( COMMERCIAL BANKING, GOVERNMENT BONDS, FOREIGN EXCHANGE, LETTERS OF CREDIT. CAPITAL $500,000 PROFITS $310,000 New Accounts Are Invited. S. J. FLETCHER, President. CHAS. LATHAM, Cashier. S. A. MORRISON, Ass't Cashier. S. A. FLETCHER, Ass't Cashier. The Prince Albert 10c Cigar LOUIS G. DESCHLER, Cigarist WE MAKE TEETH THAT PLEASE YOU Best In Looks Best In Quality Cheapest in Price. A good set of teeth means eo much In comfort. Teeth that you car. eat with and that look natural. Kvery denartment of our complete establishment is provided vrith all modern dental ap pliances. All fillings inserted by ELECTRICITY ABSOLUTELY PAINLESS. Our laboratories are completely equipped, and we use the BEST materials money can buy. Our standing In the business community makes our guarantee of value to you. It makes you absolutely eafe and us responsible. fJOLT) Ci:OWN8.Z!k 0.00 rOIlCKLAIN CKOWNS H 00 BKliiK WOUK 8 00 Op n Evenings Until O LADY ATTENDANT. UXIO Ground Floor. Coraer Market and Circle, Ka of Monument. Old 1'hone 3203. and upon these days the ladies flocked to buy them. They were so expensive that it was customary to give as a wedding pres ent a certain sum of money to be used as "pin money," hence the term. Oberammergau has been casting" up the accounts of this year's "Pass-ion Ylpy." There were 4S performances and viv Itors, who paid $300.000 for admission. The profits of the vlilape from lowers, tb? vale of trinkets and so forth were between 000 and $1,000,000. Munich and the Bavarian railroads have also profited, the latter showing a surplus of $2.500.000. The cotton crop of this country amounted to only 5,000.000 pounds In 1?J3. Last year it was about five billion, Ave hundred mil lion pounds, representing three-fourths of the entire crop of the world and valued at $C50,0iO.000. It filled 9.500.CM) bales, and the lojs by waste Incidental to the process of taking samples was not less than $7,(mj,X). Milliners who operate on a large scale are complaining of their Inability to secure bright and capnble young" woracn with the necessary taste to do their worx, oven though they are willing to pay good waees. They say that for less money the Irls pre fer to work in the big dry good shop or to try to . become stenographers, even though the market Is overstocked with both. Switzerland universities are still the most popular academies In Europe für women students from all parts of the world. Of SCO students at the University of Zurich 21S arc women. One hundred and twenty of these are studying medicine, &S philosophy, 21 natural science and Jl Jurla prudsnc. Only eighteen are of Swiss na tionality, liiaety-seven are Russians, tTTct7 Ar::rt;iz3 tn4 ta rs&ny Cennana, dseason Ml jjj O j ' 'U OF V ... er .75 Ul handsomely tailored , douMe-faced cloth. comes in several shades of material, coat double breasted, tight fitting, skirt made with flare and stitched at bottom; regular price, $2.V0. S1Q7r Fine Tailor-made Suit, lUsI t) Jac;et taffeta lined, new Hire skirl, t-iuIe or double breasted, tight fitting or blouse effect; material homespun or Venetian. Sn rA An elegant five-gore Skirt , gJJS double-faced cloth, inverted plait back, six inches of stitchinsx around bottom, colors light and medium gray and Oxford. 1900 There's No Game Of chance in the making of PRINCE ALBERT Cigars. We buy the best Havana stock and employ expert workmen to fashion them, and there's only one thing that ap proaches their quality that's the price, TEN CENTS each, at all wide-awake dealers. FULL SET OF TEETH EXTRACTING KX A MIN ATI ON o'clock. Sunday, lO to GERMAN SPOKEN. $18 t$3 PAINLESS DENTISTS fsaphers m end 'HIS wonderful iniment which hat helned so miiny women through the drei!fnl ord! of child birth, is vrrll narsed. It is a friend Indeed. And it never fail. Wo do not know oce case where, faith fully uted, it fcai not done all weclirafcr it. Andthts is what we claim. Itwiildo away with half the dacrtrs of r-rejrnancy. will make labor short aad easr, pre vent rising breasts and racrninc sickneai. and re serve the mother fcirlh reure. Isn't that bcicr"a friend indeed?" G e t Kothar-'m Friend a t the ilzug store. PI per bottle. 1EI CZACfrlLD tlGUAIOa CO. Atlcrti Csi. Write lor our trer llitr?ll bot avisiere Ks by Is licra." STCXCIL9 A7TD SCALS. . - I v il TnTHxCER seals jt'?tl