Squatter sovereign. [volume], January 20, 1857, Image 1

About Squatter sovereign. [volume] (Atchison, Kan. Terr.) 1855-1858

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
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P." II. LARET,
PuhUcaiion UJlct on 2d Src."3 ; !. '
Mii-TW doljar'a per innnm, invariabf
'Iran';. Sin5le cP 5 cei:t8r twelve cop-
for tfly- COliUl. : ' '' . : " ':I
i for 9, Tn to ae a l.lros for 1 1 .
. ..-rv' 1M AllVANCf..
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sent by mail, at the risk
requested ts act as our
HATES OF ADVERTISING.,-
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if f 0
' mix inonttis '
a.? ''"twelve" months
iTsi'ttres, U,irp months '.,;
p.. quarter of a column, three -month
1 u ' - uiy mouths
g. . " j i-r . , twelve intjniii.-i .20
rw bilf of column,. three months.... -12 00
. i ' c nix- months S" 00
u if ' , - f ; ' twelve tnonvbs- .3: -
. Ihri mnnl 1m .... .... 31 K
ni ijoc If ifisai te;i :i a credit, candiiUtes
:!! be Cware-J eiglil uowaB. . - - -
of nersonal natue.
:, ,ru.l r.wprtiscin.tiit. a:nt charged
III n-.ikv. " -. ' -
f.r it tho ralea of per scruare, and p:3'-
required ru ncivat:ca.; , ;. 'a! .i ' ,'.
!'V A'!vrtHe-Ment3 ot marked ,qn jhe ropy
f,ri c.!i: li'iinber of ii.soi tio!, wilt be con-
i.i:t!y, ; ; ... ;i -;
n.ti!t, ur at. -
AM' letters ad IrcHsed to the Editors
mm 10ST PAID, to revive a.ttrntioi.
Tlis Law o! rTevfspapers.
i c..i!..i:i.ra nn. ffive ernresq po-
S-t to the contrary are .ronstdeied as wish-
ta: to continue thoir sutenpuon..
... :i i : .liji-dhHnn'if rf
1 If $nMori:n "-' i- --
i..!,... thn ntihlistir m.iv ccrntUJ
Vv.'.i Ihvm -.tttt.l all r.-:iraaiare pa:.!.
- -.' i...!;-... r,.n iho office to whirlfthev
e riiiectoJ, they are hcl.l reponstble, till ihvy
k'v filc(l llio o a"
6wd. . v.. . i ., .
t.'.'iiito: :uii:,' the p.ibUsher, aiM lh papers are
ini '.-i Hie tormer uirecuun, mv i
imi'j'e. '' ' ' :
i. Tli Courts Sav deciJcd that rf.an. to
U', twtiodicals from the oiHoe. or iri'iowii;:
ulVifin; thrm uiic:ii:ed for, is prima facia
tnieitce vi iittfiitJona1 finiid. -
'TtomhT'cala'ortiii.Faraier. ; . , ,
. arr eoxtq ijad to-day.. ,
I know not and I cr.re not lioiv "' - j- :
Ttie inomer-ts pas me by, -
Ta-.uiU i-avb iiy leave .upen mj brow.,
A f.iuvw as ihey t'.y. . .
Wlut tnatls-.s it? each shall but Uk .,
One hnii ftwifi't2 tha chain, - " ' ' ' '
Thit mo to e; rib?s bittfjs'.ake ; . s
ii a.oi aa4 C4ic nd pain. ,
Tim like, a river, pli?s his oar ; k ;
And all his strokes are boars,
lurpviiitt'f to- ft bUf siw ' ' j
of ftJ'tSiiiuebiiiis aiid f.owtrs. ,
l'e tasied all lliit'HM ean give ,
' Of pleas-lie and cf pain,
It r.ot Jtin now to liv, .
Wxca joys no utoie rein 'tin. '
Tar life hUi lost its former charm,
And e'vei hope halb i'ed ;
And friends t icved 8 fonoly oi.ee, '. .
Ate uli estranged a:id dad,
- Srt n ! O speed my ,bark, 8pcJ on I r
i'nck o'er lifc'ttroubied be a , , T .
I i sor nnchorae within ' i
A nai bor sate amrtree.
; . i ? . - v.v
rcLiajis a gentle forest (lower
A twe inr crave will 9p.-i! " l t
t plaLtoii Chore by f; ietidhip'a band, . ,
. but by auic zephyr's wm. .
lv;'n genial dews will nursats bloom
I:i k ft mldtutnmer air," ' --
tlwt h'.g lik-3 crysfal dreps,.
Re-cJaspvd .in beauty there. ,
m m i
Cs2TA patent "has been secured la Eo
toato clean fisa Ly gifinj tbeai tnufl The
aseziaj causes the tea Us to fly off. -
3 A company in' St.' Joseph is hat
,nSaloat built to run between that city
nd Council ,'BIufisTto bo calletl Siivtr
ft.'," after a fine horse. .
' Ilev.; !Mr. SelsvooJ, . KfiscopaT
Missionary a! Oregon,' came near beinj;
"aurdiTcd .it "the Tanama" inasacre. i A
5'1 rassftl through his body, almost toacu
,3ShJs Wart. .' ', . ' '
A gemleiija'ni in Boston has given
v,H)0 dollars towards liquidating lodeU
e American Board of - Missions ; a
Senilctaan m Connecticut has gfiven 1000
ai three others iSlS15,ibr the same cur-
fOSo, ' ' ,
' - ETue County Court of; Fauquier on
Woidj. ...
- ,ai-u i.iie contract -Joc co;)
Jns a bridge across , the ;.Rappa ha n
krirer at the rtarreitfon Springs.) The
Jl ?!0!- to R. SpiU
1 isi lor uu.
Money Yr.ay be
i ,f ff e Cditors. i ; '
I CV Pobtmasters w
JilltS. L :, . , ! I
1. column, three : rnontlm . '
.1 ix inontha ' -....45t)
i twelve., imritbSfv GO
j-sm car.!-, eiirltt Ucb or less, 1 year. 5 C)
. . six months !
three months ...... 2
; THE STOLEN HOTS.,
ST A MTIIlFD.lfTOaSIT.
VTi'at seems to me t!ie most remarkable
phase of; villainV; is, that' a rtiah, himself
vreahhy, can find it in his heart to plunder
tlie poor earnings of long and neary years.
IViien t!ierich rob the rich, it seems not
a half, so wicked as when a man of hum
ble means is deprived of sustenance.. I
have often sten the entire property of in
dividi!alswt at away at a single stroke of
ill-fortune; and more than once have I
seen a'rr.an who thought he had a compe
tence, ruined. in a single day by a villain.
. The instance which I am about to relate,
though happily the designs of the robber
were frustrated, is one of this character,
where an .unscrupulous person designed to
send miseryto the family of a humble ine
phanic . . ,. . :.
Uxcept that he indulged' loo freely in
the use of 'the hitoxicating cup, John Wal
lace an honest, high-minded and exem
plary nian. His one great fault hung like
a d:r shadow over his many virtues. He
meant well, and when he was sober he did
weih '
II was a hatter by trade, and by his in
dustry and thrift had . acquired money
enough to buy the house in which he bred.
He had purchased it. several years before,
for three thousand dollars, paying one
thousand down, and ' securing -the balance
by a mortgage to' the seller.' .
,The. mortgage noe. r-as . almost due at
the twno when the e:;-eum3tances occurred
whicU made" me acquainted with the af
fairs of '"the family. " Bat-Wali-ace was
leady for the day; he had saved up the
inubey, and there set nied no possibility of
an accident.
I always bought my hats of Wallace,
and am free to skv that thev were the best
iu'.s the city afl"urded. ' I had kfso done
some hale collecting and drawn up soa.e
legal documents fyrjihn.
Oue day his daughter Annie came to
my office" in great distress, declaring that
her father was ruined, and that they should
be turned out of the house in whicli they
lived. : , , , .. .
'Perlinps not. Miss "iVuilace," I replied,
trying to console her, and give tha aflair,
wliatever it was, a bright aspect.
. . ,',Vou know niy father, Mr. Docket?'.
do, very well., . J ..
'You knew 'tis infirmity?' .,, ,v
! 'I'do; I am sorry5 for him.; There is
not a mie' honest ot better disposed per
son in Buston'than your father. ' ' '
.; 'Hej is very kind and goad to us all ;
tut- , . .
'I Lope his infirmity does not make him
trouhlesoine at homcT r ' ; .
?o sir; but peopl take advantage of
him.', - ': .,.....-. , . ., . ..' .-. . .
What has happened!'
IIe l.nd the money t pay the mortgage
on the house in which he lived but it is
all gone now.
' .'Cone!'...: . " . ' ,; '.'; '
Yes,gone . . ,. -j t .
; ''.'Lost?' ... : . .
' ' ,'I doii't know; I suppose so. Last week
he drew out the two thousand dollars from
ibe. benk, and lent it to Mr. Bryce for ten
days. ; ; ... . , ' . .
Who' is Mr: Bryce?
' 'He "is a broker. My father got ac
quainted, with him through George Chan
dler, who. boards with us, and is Mr.
Brycc's clerk. . : r . ;
The poor girl blushed "when she men
tioi,ei the clerk's naef and it did not re
quire a great deal of penetratioa " for me
to discover Uiat he vas her lover.
'Does Mr; Bryce refuse to pay it?'
He has paid it. - : .;
4 Well, what is the. trouble, then!
. . 'Father says he has not pa id ii.1
i 'Indeed, then the note will be evidence
liat he has not paid it. Of course you hare
the note? '' ' ; -:
'! TSTo; 'Mr. Bryce has it.' J ' " ;
Then.of . course be. .has paid'it. f ' ':
- .I suppose he has, or h could not hare
had the note. : , ,
1 What does your father say?
' 'lie is positive lie . never' received the
money. The moi tgage must be paij to
inorrow. , r ..'
,IT..!!DS?,?v, as your father-
I. hesitated o use that unpleasant word
I knew must have grated; harshly, on the
ear of .the devoted girl. ...
; . 'Mr, Bryce says my father was not just
rigla when he paid him, thocgh 'not very
bad.. ;:,,:v, .. ; " (
j I .wiil see J'our father. ; r-
He is coming here in a few minutes. 1
thought I would see you and tell-.you th
. ... , " f " : . ' - . '-
facta before he got here. ' " ? , ,
. j'I do not see how , Bryce could hare ob
tained the note, 'unless he paid the note.
'Nor ! ''.' : . - o.': .,- ...
Where did your father keep it. : r-,r
tl 'He gave it to mei and I put it in the
secretary in the front roonu!;- f , L ;
Did you give it to your father again?
No. - . . ...
Who were in the room when you put it
in thesecretary. ' . " "' '
Mr. Xryce, G eorge Chandler. rnyf fa
ther and Hiyself.'v . .
Have you ever seen tb note iince it
was placed there? '
. 'Xo. ' ;y""; ;; ; :- ; f. ; :' -
' 'Has your father?' , ',
lie says he has not.'
Very remarkable.
It is indeed; I know my father would
not tell a lie about it. ' But he might have
taken it out when he knew nothing about
it. ., : .' . ..' ., '.. . ; '
Very likely; but if he was in a cordi
tion to lake it ot.t at all, he could under
stand what he was about.'
I should think so.
What kind of a roan is Bryce?
I don't know; George that is George
Chandler likes him very well, only he
says he is very close,
The conversation was here intrrupted
by the entrance of Wallace. lie looked
pale aud haggard, as much from the effects
of anxiety as from the debauch from which
he was Just recovering. '
'She has told you ail about U, I suppose?
said he, in a very sad tone.
She has.
I pitied the poor fellew, for the two
thousand dollars vvaa a large sum for him
to accumulate in his little business. The
loss of it would make the future look like
a desert to him. It would 1 e misfortune
which one must undergo to appreciate it. -
Besides, Wallace was an honest man,
and a person of fin feelings. Liquor on
ly made .Liu, njore fre aud generous; it
only seemed to intensify the pecuiiarietis
of his nature. De Quincey says that men
are not disguised by society; knu ilisvhen
drinking that men display themselves in
their true complexion cf character. ;Wil
lace when tipsy was never more truly
himself he was himself intensified his
good and evil traits were tenfold more vig
orous than when he was sober. I liked
the man and pitied him in his present dis
tress. - i . - : J-.:...':'"-;
What do yjou think about it? asked he.
very gloomily." J '
, 'I don't knoyv what to think".'.
'I confess I had been drinkirnj when I
went to his office at the time he says he
paid .tie.'. And with the help of God,; I
will never let another drop pass my hps.
lie spoke with earnestness end when
he uttered the naroe.cf. God, -.t was rever
ently spoken, with his eyea raised to heav
en. ; '
'A wise resolution, but I feared it had
come too late. . .
1 know he never paid me. I was not
much in liquor at the time. I remember
very well of going home as regularly as
ever I did in my life. I could tell howl
passed every moment of the time
What passed between you on that day?
Weil, merely stepped into his office it
was only day before yesterday ito tell him
not to forget to have my money read v for
me to- morrow . . '
What did he say?.
He took me into the back office, and I
sat there for seme time 1
What did he say?
He said be weuld have the monev readv
the next day. , . - .
" 'Nothing else?' . .. ,
He then left ma and went to th front
office, where I heard him send George out
to tlie LanK to draw a check for two thou
sand dollars; to I supposed he was goirg
to pay me tnen. : . . : .
What does the clerk say about it?
He says Bryce remarked; when he sent
him, that he was goiog to ray ma with
the mpnay. , : . '.' -
"JuSt SO . . ..:' : . .
And when" George came in, he wen! to
the front office gate and took the money.
Then he came to me again, tut dH not of
er to pay me : "
; 'Had you the note with you?
No: now l remember, he said' fce" sujv
posed I hod not tl e no'e with me, or he
wooid pay if Ho t dd me to come in the
next day and he wtuld hav9 it ready, that
was yesterday. . ' - .
" Well?1-" ' " " '..."
' . 'When I came to. look for -the note it
could not ba found. Annie . and I have
hunted the hcuse all oer, but could nd
nothing of i. .: . -i s .-. . . - 1
Tou told Bryce sc.
'I did; he laughed, and sbowedme , th
note,' wi h his signatnre crossed over with
ink and a hole punched through it - ' -
.'It is plain, MrV Wallace, that he "paid
you the money as he allages, or . has bb-'
tained ' fraudulent possession of the note,
and intends to cheat you out cf the amount."
. 'He never paid me, replied he firmly.
Thi n he Las frauiulently obtained t ie
note. -Wbat sort cf a person is this Chan
dler, who boards with yo? .. ., , "
A fine young man. Bless you! he wouU
not do anything of the kind - . .
I am sure he wduida,t! repeated Annie,
earnestly..- .( t . .';' -
'How else could Bryce havo . obtained
the note but '-through him. What tune
dceibe generally some in nights? '
But father, be did not come home till
ten o'clock the night before you went to
Brycc's... He had to stay at the office to
post book , or something of that kind."
How did he get in?
.He has a night key.
I must see Chandler ' ""'
I hope you don't think be had anything
to do with it v v
'I don't' know? I should like to see
him. ' k "
He is innocent, I am sure!' exclaimed
Annie; -C "'
No harm in seeing him, added Mrl
Wallace. 'I will go for him -
In a few minutes he returned with the
young man. Chandler, tn the corversa
tion I b.ad with him, manifested a very
lively interest in the solution of the mys
tery, and profussed himself ready to do
anything to forward ray views. '
, 'What time did you return to the house
on Tuesday night? I asked, with the in
ton tion of 'sounding him.
About twelve .....
. 'Twelve? said Annie. 'It was not more
thrn ten. I heard you "
'The clock struck twelve oa I turned the
corner of the street, replied Chandler, pos
itively. ' ' . - . . .. .
'I certainly heard some one in the front
room at that time, added Atinie, looking
with astouishment at the group arot:nd her.
'We ere getting at something,' I re
marked laughing. How did 5'ou gel in
Mr. Chandler?'
The young man smiled as he glanced
at Annie. .'
I did not tell you about it, said he 'for
I v. a; afraid it would .make, - you nervous,
and perhaps get an honest man into troub
le. o my night key
F.h r - , " - -
I lost 'my night-key ; ' !
.' Go on, sir ' ' .
I began to b deeply interested. T
A watchman happening along, I told
him my situation. He knew, me and ta
king a ladder from an unfinished bouse
opposite, he placed it against one of the
s econd story windows, and I entered in
that way
Good; now who was it you heard at 10
o'clock? . -
Wallace looked at Aanie and Aanie
looked at her lore r.
Who was it?'
. It was Bryce ! I replied. Voa m3y
depend upon it. ;
The villianf exclaimed Wallace, ta
king it for granted.
He is mean enough to do such a thing,
added Ci adler. .
Wh?n you lost your night-key... La
found it. Wiiere . did tyou keep it Mr
Chandler? ;
, In ihe pocket of my outside coat
Exactly so f
I wrote a lawyer's letter demand
you." ic which was immediately sent to
Bryce., Cautioning the parties not to speck
of the affair I dismissed them.
Bryce came. - - - :
Wrell sir what; have yon ' against me V
he asked rather stiffly. : '
. A claim on the part of John Wallace
for two thouand daliars, I replied, poking
my hand over paper, and appearing su
premely indifferent.
Paid it T said he as short as pis crust.
Have you ? said I, looking him in the
eye ss sharp as Icould possibly Iring roy
optics to bear upon him. ' :
The rascal quailed I saw he was a
Vlllian. ''''""-' ' ' ".':-:;.. --; .;.
j I have ' : ' . . - '.
Nevertheless' if wijiin.cne hour, you
j not pay me the two thousand" dollars
and one, hundred, dollars for the trouble
you have ciused my clien I pledge you
my word and honor that, at the end of the
next hcur, you thai) be lodged . in jail to
answe'- to a criminal charge ,.. ,
lie turned pale and his lips quivered.
What dj yoj meaa sir r -
T mean' what I say
consexnoces
Pay , or take the
", -.'Wi ;K-:v.is r : .. - .i . . . . . r .
.- P - ., - . "., ; ' ' - - . ..M. -M e-J ,
-.T-- ." ,. ,,,,, , " -t" . " - " - " " . '"' - .."'.'"
r i v i
ii us had
Icoked like en1 houeit man, I shouid nbi
have dared to make it:
I have paid the note! ."tell you whin-
cu nr. . .
, No words, if you please ' '
i ' But listen to reason ' ' !'
' j 'I will .listen to nothing ' '
I 'I have the note ' ' V '" "
Where did you get it? - '
, ; "Why .cf coursewhn I paid it:
'When you feloniody entered the house
of John Wallace cn the night of Tuesday
February 20th, at ten o'clock and trok th
note from the secretary ;
iou have no proof stammered be.
grasping a chair for svrport. '
That's ray' look-out. - I have no time
to waste will you pay or go to jail ? - r
'I will pay; for though what you say h
false I should not like to be accused oi
stealing a note '
He drew Hie check oh the spot for twen-ty-ouo
hundred dollars, and after begging
me not to mention the affair, which In
tocught might injure Lis reputation he
sneaked off. . -t
I cashed the ..check, and hastened to
Wallace house. The reader may judge
with what satisfaction he received it, how
rejoiced, was Annie, and her lover. Wal
lace insisted that I should take the l.cndrtd
dollars lormy services. Lut : I wasmn
uanlmous enough to lake only . twenty.
Wallace kept his promise, and ever aftej
was a temperance man. .He died a , few
years ago, leaving a hanseme property to
Chandler and his wife. .
fSTTwo ladies who kihab.teJ the re
gion of the Five Points, were having some
voids together on the roadside, when the
daughter of one of them popped her heair
cut of the door, and cried out "'Hurry,
mother, and call her a thief, before she
ca'Is you one." '
gQf; Reputation may be the revsrJ of
mediocrity, and .fame of the talen tha
panders to popular passions; but immortal
renown is the endless chaunt of genera
tions singing the praises of. godlike men
who have elevated their race.
Cjt? A recent traveler in America re
cords the following anecdote:
IXjw much do you' pay your waiters at
this saloon?" asked an irascible ; gent cf
the proprietor of a resiurent.
One dollar per diem, sir."
"Well, then, credit me with thirty cents,
fori waited two hours for my steak, and
one hour for my muffins!" ' - - '
155" If we would give ourselves only
half an hour's reflection at 'the 'clcse , of
every day. wo would preach to ourselves
several of the best sermons that could le
uttered every week , ,, ,
'"How is your husband this after
noon, Mrs. Squiggs ? ; "Why,' the doctor
says as how if he'Iivs till the morning,. he
shaikh a re some hopes cf him; but. if he
don't, he must give hii up.'. . :,; - I
fS'A polite .'young lady recently as
serted that she lived near a barn-yard,
and it ' was' impossible for her to slep ia
the morning on account of tho crowing cr
a "gentleman hen."
t&tFl A n old gentleman of our acquain
tance says that he is the last man in the
world that will ever tyranize over a daugh
ter's affections. So long as she man its
the man of Lis choice, he don't care who
she loves. ....
jveep yo-r temper in aisputes.
T . . - !
Tl e cool hammer fashions the red-hot iron
into any shape needed.' " r.
Eksf The road ambition travels is too
narrow for friendship, too crooked for Iove
too rugged for Lonesty, and too dark for
science. " ' " '. ' ' , T
" Lost. Yesterday, somewhere be
tween sun rise . and sunset. I two - golden
minutes. No reward is offered, for they
are now" gone forever.-
. K3 The easiest way to get a living is
to sit on a gate nd wait for good luck.
In case good luck don't come along, yeu
are no werse off: than you were before. u
. ErS"" The religion of the present day
has a "monstrous deal to do with fico
features, fine silks, fine furniture, and fine
fluxnthery in general. : '" v.
g'?" Speaking without" thinking js
shooting without taking aim ;
Jr shortest ivay - to get rich is
rot by enlarging our estates ' but by con
tracting oar desires. .t'..;--- ..;
-re
it you want to see b!at:k.nu!l
It , was a bold charge, aud
JMa' vwv. " a ngro oaoy attacked wnhr'e tZT-. V-
,u .!;,... .; x ... V
'
T29 :tchtlor aai the Lacai Veil. .
A goritlrnan who had lost a bet with a
;ady; ha?ing heard 'bar tay that ahe bac
oit ft law veil that she prized ' rt ;ry niswh,
sought hs would pay b dbt and "do tl e
polite thing by purchasing a new veil ci
the quality and presenliug it to Lis fail
.reditOJV'- " ' ; - . '.: -
It must he etatstd,' for a ? proper, under
standing 'of what 'VM'owed; that the gcir
lernsa was a Ttrchlor -of long sts ndiRjs
nd a man of little information toacLis-,
the world of "fancy goooV theugh a pro
ficieot in sugnr, cotton aud provision spec
ulations.' '- ; ,
He t ceo dingly stepped into a ahiona
lle milliuer's shop and asked to se a lace
veil of fine quality. ' . - t .
: "IIre ia one, Monsieur, said the ami
ible prtaatess," at the head of the temple
"How rautch is it?"
"It is only fifty, sir."
" WLaT ! only fifty ? Dear me ! I though'
these things were, exceedingly dear. 1:
that is all they cost, I dc aot wonder at the
!adls' being fond cf wearing such Aims
Vnicl--knacks: Only fifty ?--Show . m
something betterr ...
The priestess stared. The bacneicr
remained perfecjly cool. Here was t
godsend, A man who wanted aomthuiir
better, dearer. More veils lace ones
were displayed. ""i-"" .
Dis is only sixtee s&ir, and dis one
sen n'y fi e."
"Dear me! only seventy-five? : Well
that is wonderful to be sure. It is a ver
pretty article, I see, but eaut you show tm
some better? ;
"No sairdia is de mos dear do plw
cher artidt in de citee."
'You d say so!' Well, well, wb,
would have thought it ? These woir.ei.
they always were a mystery sin"e the day
of Adam. Give me the chacge for a dol
lar in qna iters.
" The milliner did so.
"I'll lake this one," said the simple-minded
batchelor, folding up the seventy-firt
vih give me a quarter, and keep the
seventy-five for yourself. Dear me how
eheap." . - . .. i.
"I no see t!.a seventy-five, sair yot
have no hand theia to me, said tha mill:
ner. ' ' "''-'
"I beg your pardon, madira," eaid tin
batchelor smiling, "there they are on tbi
counter, pointing to the three quarters.
"Dis, said the lailliner with an aston
ished look.' r ' -:
"That!" said the bachelor, more smi
ling than ever, preparing loput tha veil h.
his pocket. ' ' ' ,
mon Dlcut de " man ftoxt creek
brarh. t I telf you. Monsieur, dt articl.
de most dear in the eitter Yen nn un
derstand me you no understand Irglish !
De most dear, I tell yoa sevcr.ty.fire doU
larsf ' ': ' - '
"What?" said the bachelor, larnlLK !
rcthsrpale, and dropping the veil as if n
had suddenly turned into a cwt of fire into i
his hands, "seventy-five dollars?" j
"Yes, sir, and very cheap at daL" j
"Seventy-five dollars for that infernal
cobwab! I thought you meant seventy-
five cents ! '
If ever ' a bachelor "walked fast that
bachelor did. He goes around now in 9
stew of indignation. rlatiug his adventure
aad winding ep his a'.ory with the words:
"1 es, sir, the French woman actually
asked me seventy-tire debars for the short
end of an infernal cobweb."
An inexperienced bachelor going into a
fancy milliner's store is prvhy much like
an innocent fly entering' into a " spider's
web. '' -
IwDEPrirDEirT. A sibscriber writes to
a Weston editor-,"! don't want your pa
per any longer."" T which the editor re
plies: ! "I wouldn't make it any louder ii
you did ; its present length suit me very
well." V- - ..- . ..
"KS" Why is the inside of everything
ur.intelligiU ? Because" we can't make
it out. " ' :
P"Th differ a uc between Persrer
anee and Obstinacy one is a strong w ill
the other a strong won't.
' A perfumed breath is easily rro-Wed.-Cfcew
onions for an hour, and you
will be scented for the next two days.
'Phew!
Jf:3.,Sorrow came andjeft its traces
here, ,. It dont say what.bacama of the
restof the harness. , - . - : ...
few jiciKiia tan, wjtn any
?nse 01 propriety, ask a fat lady to lean
on cis arm e ,? ; -: ; -,-.-."'" . . . . . . .
, '"r . 1 "-i"- ""u aa eu;ior a
public beliowtii bound 'pufr ererybod.-iJ
l ilTDMBX bgjtn FiXItT AT TUB
St. Nicholas. A few weeks ago, a part
of this respectable aad. select fa aiily . of.
Smiths, from Speedletown, Stars of Con
aecticut, came to the city and put up at , ihm !
Nicholas." ' - - -
rrived by the evening irai-i," ami
enured Uc btel just as the gueiu were
corning from the dinnerMable and wcra
proWBadicg tue , elegant saloons. TfcV
J2?ijy .114 cf. good old vilrsX mith
a nice, gao,! uatured, 'clever Vtd soul '
of fift3'-five; her only sorj, Harvey," a big,'
wergrewn, honest faced country lad of
weniy; and two gaV or daughters of slx-
teen or eighteen. , ' ' f '
After tho first Harry and excitement of '
trrival had passed odf", the entire SinitaJ
mrty ivere shown to the tea room, wero
-he superb plate j exquisite tu: glass, and
ielicately painted china quite bewildered ?
vhem. ' ' ' ' . ." ,'
All being seated, . the -waiter p-esrt!
iirnself. 'Tea, Ult ?! The old Isdy "5
oked up at him through her Silver pc- -acles.'
Wal, I guess I will - .
Green or black tea, madam T
Blacky tea, very weak. answered tho'
jood o!d 1ady,taadrval, yes, very weak'
nd she ' sighed. The tea was brought, J
and the waiter added, 'Sugar, ladies ?
r.'.e old lady was now confidential. Thf
yaiter was too civil and clever' not to I
amiliarized at once;'Jso laying her band
n bis arm cn l pushing her specs un oa
erno-e.sbe added. 'Sugar ? Wa'l.l guess
I will 1 Ye see, waiter Harvey be likes
"1 in; the gsls. tt py like it in: and as' for
e wa!. I'd alout as livt have it iu
out, or aout's in.'
The !J Iddy brouglit down the lable.
?STae Cuiu'jse are a quver peeslo
io go to rr.arkrt. A man at Canton writes
ometoa friend, that "a neighbor of his
iau just laid in his . winter prov isions a
lind quarter of. a horse and two barrels' of
;u!l-dcgs. The Htter salted to ket
CQ "A tough subscriber to a country
paper ' was struck from its mail list: 'be-
jause he -'wouldn't pay up. - The delia
pinta wifL inarted wrathfully, thafsho
knew what was newspaper law ahr did
tue prorn.'ior was bound to send tl ra.
-cr until si: arrearages were, paid!
;-.. !
t&sT A physician advertised" that hi
ad removed reir tha churchrar.f ti
r.-qucstof his friends, trid trusted thM his
moral wotjIJ accomodate many of 'tj
P tienta. : - :: :.
, Cw Under the head of 'broken Tin
rlish," a Paris paper places such London
rs as get smashed up by railroad eailia
ons, or fininciitUy l uatrd. - - . "
" 1 - 1 " ,'"T
, ffiZT' A lulnistef ; approached am"
hievcus urchin, about tnelve years ; oid,
tod laying his hand upon his shoulder,
bus addressed him : "My son, I beheva
viie devil has got hold of you."
"I believe be has too, was the siirnifl-
csnt reply of ih? urchin. ,.
- -1 - '
It vvas a remark of ThennVtOcIea
Hal he preferred marrying his daughter
o a tnin-who lacked wealth, rat' er tlmn
me who lacked ers?.. Had all laihers
been of the same opinion, what a set, of
fools the. world would have been spared.
tT Hoopal The List wicked tUn
on hoops is the following : The ladies
hoopttire gefti g so wide that' it is difficult
or tbem 10 get into a railroad ar. most of
thetn being built on ti e narrow gauge
It will be a little singular if fashion should
drive all l!.e travel to the six foot gacgo
railroads." ' ' - .' . v. .,;
tTAl a ci; hotel a verdant looTiini?
chap sat dow totako "some fillin " a wai-
t.-r pie3nod himself at the backer his
C lair and jKuely inquiraJ, Tea or coffee,
sir ?" - -Tea i.e ansn ered. "What kind
of tea, sir ?V . Greeny looked tin in. thrn
waiter's face, "Why, store tea, of .course ;
I dou t want any of your, sassafras staff !
rT5 "Hjw can you, r&y.deirprefer
paicli to wines I" f
r "Because, my dear, Vs so like matrimo
ny, fuch a charming ccmpouud' of ppo
site qualitiesl" ' " " 1 " L
"Aye, ray lord.J am the weak pirt, I
Suppose." i . r ;; ;
"No, my loe, you are the sweet, with
a dash of the acid, and no small portico,
of the spirit. - : ' ' '
A t-etition nas- fceeu Wesented to
fie Legislature of FlonJa to iceorHrato
a company for the purpose of faying "sub
marine telegraph from the Cne T Flor
ida via Key West to the Inland cf 'Cuba.
thui bring-ng IIa an3 in conneciioa' with)
the great te.legrspi.L- world" - ,
- 1 - 7 . -
U'J S5r'Comi gi lup..it time tux be, as
'Mr; Swizzle said to Lis ra;irod jbSiics.
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