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TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, MONDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 13, 189T.
,.i ; -I ' 1 !! '.ft t - 1 s ft; v. Rents, Situations, Real Estate, Auction Sales, o o AND OTHER Classified Advertisements. S ITUATIONS WANTED FR EE. jAre yon !n fieetl of wor? Tf so. you are at liberty to use these columns for assistance in that direction. .While this notice appears the State Journal will publish free on Saturday, Monday and Tuesday, for Topcka or Kansas people, all notices of "Situations Wanted," not to exceed five lines, or thirty-five words. In lene'.h. provided that all advertisements cf that nature are handed la previous to 30 o'clock Saturday morning; also on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all ad vertising of this class handed in by 10 clock Wednesday morning. Ko advertisements of thia nature to be started except on Saturdays and Wed nesdays, fio obligation Is Incurred on the part of the advertiser. Mo worthy and needy man or woman need hesitate to take advantage if this offer. No one In business or having employment is ex pected to take advantage of it. but all ethers are Invited to avail themselves freely. The Topeica, State Journal, truarantees every day it is printed, to give a local circulation by far more than all other l-ailies combined. This makes this pa rer the cheapest, as well as the best, daily medium In Tcpeka, the classified ad vertisements below costing but Fi?e Cents & Line, er K cents a line for a week; 60 cents by the month. Average circulation for first six months 11,584. WANTED H EL P. WANTED By a young lady, a place to assist with hght housework. Will work for a small salary and furnish good ref erence. Miss "A., ".care Journal. WANTED By a girl 13 years old. a place to work. Call or address 4X2 East Fifth street. WANTED Any grocer giving me em ployment. 1 will work one week gratis to show you 1 can do better than the other clerk. Address X. Y., care Journal. WANTED A job in a country newspaper office: am a good all-around printer, eighteen years' experience. C. Barnes, Do las, iCan. WANTED By white man, work of any kind. Address J. W. C, this office. WANTED Position as housekeeper by widow with little girl of 11 years. 841 North Kansas ave. WANTED There are two of us and we are first class carpenters with famili to support: Kive us worK. any Kind, call or write. 1aj4 East .Fourth st. WANTED Dirting room girl wanted. Ap ply southeast corner frth and Quincy sts. WANTED -MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED To trade a good farm 6 milos fr-'m county s-at for steam threshing outtit. 1L. J. Holeomb. Norton. Ivan. WAXTED You to know that Eosdick's Carpet Cleaning Works have removed to Kansas ave., opposite Copeland ho Tol. where you can pet your chenille and lace curtains cieund better than any place west of Chicago. J. H. Fosdick. WANTED Good single harness and rond wagon. Address, with full description anJ price, Box 213, city. WANTED Boarders: best four dollar room and board in city. 215 E. Tenth. WANTED People to know that I cure tobacco and other habits by hypnotism. No cure, no pay. Brown, lis East Sth st. WANTED 100 cases to heal, pain reduced instantly. No relief, no pay. Brown, Magnetic healer, 11S East Sth st. WANTED Stock to winter: good care; !.: per month: stablins with grain, id. Stanley Bros., box ill. North Topcka. WANTED Horses to winter, near town, good feed. Horses, this office. WANTED We want to make some gilt-edged loans on farms in Shawuee county. Call on us at once. T. E. BOWMAN & CO.. Columbian Building. WANTED Watches to clean. Toe: clocks. l-: mainsprings. Zc : crystals. 10- Cish paid for old gold or silver. All work guar anteed. Oid jewelry exchanged for new. If hard up. see Uncle Sam. 512 Kan. Ave. SALESMEN WANTED. t:o a WEEK and expenses paid men to sell cigars on time. Experience unnec essary. The W. L. Kline Co.. St. Louis. Mo. FOR RENT-ROOMS. FOR RENT Furnished room at 612 Jack son st. FOR RENT Furnished rooms, hot and cold water, bath, gas. So4 Monroe st. FOR RENT For the winter, furnished 6 room eottagx-. near Sixth and Taylor. Right parties can get their rent for ke.-p-i:: - ntleman. Reference required. Ad dijss M. Ct. o.. Journal office. FOR RENT Three unfurnished rooms suitable for Ueht housekeeping. In jiiire at 6tt Jackson st. FOR RENT Furnished tipper east front room, with large alcove; furnace heat 421 Quincy st. FOR RENT Pieasant furnished rooms. Two tor light housekeeping. 3u7 E. Sth. FURNISHED ROOMS FOR RENT at WA Kansas ave. Oas. heat, hot and cold water, bath and all conveniences, single or en suite. FOR RE NT-Choice store rooms and modern fiats. 2;4 East Fifth st. FOR RENT-HOUSES. FOR RENT A 5 room house with hath. cL.set ard cistern water; big: barn if want' d. Mo Tyier. FOP. RENT 8 room house. No 410 To peka ave., Benedict & Co., 6ni Kan sas ave. FOR SALE-MISCELLANEOUS. jrR SALE Thoroughbred Jersey bull Walier, 2 miles west of Elmonu FOR SALE Hard coal base burner, also small sheet-iron wood stove. Call at O. D. Myers', S13 North Kansas ave. FOR SALE; Thoroughbred barred Ply mouth Rock cockerels: the best ot stock and finest of individuals: large. well marked, choice birds. Call and see them. Raymond F. Atwood, 42S Greenwood ave. FOR SALE Hard coal base burner, also small sheet-iron wood stove. Call at C. D. Myers', SIS Kansas ave. FOR SALE, Millinery and fancy goods store, city ot .5.w: business of lixv year: old established business: best trade in the city. Can be bought cheap. Ad dress C. J. K.. Topeka Journal. FOR SALE Team of 4-year-old mules, new Studebaker wagon and harness, SIM. 1420 North Van Buren. FOR SALE Or exchange for buggy, spring wagon with harness. 1417 Polk. FOR SALE A good family horse at 61S Fillmore st. FOR SALE Good 6 year old mare, city broke, good traveler. Inquire lit! West Seventh st. N. W. Mull. MISCELLANEOUS. MANUFACTURING OPTICIAN I have removed to 624 Kansas ave.. front room upstairs, where with late appliances I am able to suit the various conditions of sight, thus, in connection with my thor ough knowledge of and particular atten ti this business, guaranteeing to custom ers prompt, accurate and intelligent sup plying of their wants. I would call especial attention to my largely increased facilities for repairing-, manufacturing and grinding giasses. which justify me in claiming for this branch of business pre-eminence in the west. Es tablished lso. I devote special care to prescription work in Prisms. Cylindrical and Compound Lenses, repairing Gold. Silver. Steel and Nickel Eyeglasses and Spectacles. I dupli cate any lense. New lenses in old frames and new frames on old lenses. Thanking my customers for their friend ly support in the past and soliciting a continuance of their favors, I am, re spectfully, RICHARD H. BAKER. Manufacturing Optician. 624 Kansas ave. (Upstairs). STOLEN Bay pony 5 years old. reached maw, new- bridle and saddle on him: $10 reward for return, to J. W. Spencer, Big Springs, Kan. WANTED Ladies to call and get holiday prices at Dress Cutting School, over loo Kansas ave. NOTICE PARTICULAR Having moved my shop to the corner of Seventh and Jackson st., I am better prepared te re pair watches, clocks and jewelry at the lowest prices. You are assured of good work when you bring your repairs to me. O. H. Baker, Watchmaker. WATER. COAL OR GAS M. Burkett. conti actor for drilling or borir.g: any depth to 1,000 feet-' All -work guaranteed first class at low prices. 5u9 Monroe st. FRANK J.' BROWN. 17 Columbian Blag.. has $a00 to loan; has good real estate or bank stock investments. Buys and sella houses and lots. FREE DISPENSARY of Kansas Medical College, corner of Twelfth and Tyler, is open daily except Sunday, from 1 to I p. m. E. M. Brockett. M. D. McAFEE'S pure apple cider, fresn every day at 15c per gal. delivered. Send or ders to 61S Kan. ave. Tel. ISO. FOR VIEWS of residence or parlor, stock, groups, etc., or photos of any Interior or outside views see Farrow. SU Kan. Ave. Yiavi The best known remedy for women. Ladies in attendance. Kansas Viavi Co., 2 Columbian Building, Topeka. LOST AND FOUND. LOST Collie dog. dark brown and tan points, had on new collar and lock. Lib eral reward. 623 Buchanan st. STRAYED OR STOLEN White horse. branded on left hip with "2": had on steel fork saddle. Reward at 210 West Sixth. FOUND Fur tri;nri.sc! left-hand glove. Owner can have ;.ime on paying for this ad. TAKEN UP Bay colt. Owner call at 623 Chandler. FOUND Places to set watches and clocks cleaned for 50c. 805 Kansas ave.. upstairs. FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE. FOR SALE; 7t4 acres 3 miles from Kan sas avenue, $45o, on easy terms. SO acres roush fruit land 8 miles out, $700: will take team as part payment. 80 acres good land. 6 miles out, il,30O. Nichols & Son, 509 Kansas ave. FOR SALE Modern new residence. West 6th St., $2,- 100. Modern residence. Tyler St., $1,750. Nice cottage t rooms. Tyler st., $1,200. Cottage, nice location, Madsion, $1,150. 6 room house. Jefferson St., $'joO. All snaps. Se us quick. BARNES REAL ESTATE CO.. 113 East Fourth St. FOR SALE I want to sell the Cunning ham hotel. It has a good trade: it is conveniently located near the Union Pa cific and Rock Island depots. I will sell at a bargain, one-half cash, balance to suit purchaser. Address James Cunning ham, Belleville, Kan. FOR SALE Choice vacant lots In Low- man Hill, convenient to electric cars. I ftiso near church and school. Price from M to $75 each. W. M. Forbes, 116 West Sixth ave. FTTCH & QUIGLEY. 1Q6 West Sixth St., Topeka. Kan. Farms, ranches, resi dence properties, merchandise stocks sold and exchanged. Loans and insurance. Prompt attention to letters of inquirv. PRINTERS. TOPEKA PRINTING CO.. 112 East Sev enth st. Mail orders given prompt at tention. Print everything. Prices right. THEOSOPHICAL SOCIETY. MEETING every Wednesday. 3 p. m., at 3u7 Van Buren st. Open to alL PSYCHOMETRY. H. H. BROWN. minister of Soul Culture. Wiil heal, read character and give advice from the Spirit side of life. 113 East Sth st. STORAGE. HOUSEHOLD GOODS Packed, hauled, shipped or stored. 123 East Sixth. Tel. 1S6. MERCHANTS' TRANSFER AND STOR AGE CO. FLORISTS. 31 RS. J. R. HAGUE. Florist, successor to R. J. Groves, S17 Eat. av. 'PhoneoOS. W. C. GROVES, successor to R. J. Groves greenhouses 1173-75-77 Clay St.. atore, 821 Kansas ave. 'Phone 283. TIN SHOPS. f M. BAIRD, hot air furnaces, galvan- Ued an4 tu roofing. 216 W. 6Ui.Tel.35dL PROPOSALS. (First published in the Topeka State Jour nal November loth. 18&7.) SEALED PROPOSALS will be received by the board of trustees of the state charitable institutions of Kansas until 12 o'clock, noon. Wednesday. December 15. for a ward building adjacent to the asylum for idiotic and imbecile youth, lo cated at Winheld. Kansas. This work is authorized under sections 2 and 3 of chapter 23 of the session laws of 1SS7. Bids will be considered for the building as revised complete, except heat ing, and also as revised, but with the elimination of the west wing. Plans and specifications may be seen on and after November 2uth at the asy lum at Winfield. Kansas: at the office of T. H. Lescher, state house architect, To peka, Kansas, and at the office of Wil liam W. Rose, architect. Kansas City. A certified check equal to o per cent of the amount of the bid must accompany each estimate, the same to be made pay able to P. H. Dolan, treasurer of the board. Blank proposals will be furnished to thoe requesting them. The board reserves the right to reject any or all bids. The provisions of the eight hour law (chapter 114 of the session laws of 1891) must be complied with. Proposals should be sealed and address ed to W. L. Brown, president of the board of charities, Topeka. Kansas, and marked plainly on the outside, "'Proposal for Public Work at Winfield." S. C. WHEELER, Secretary. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: The public is hereby notified that I. S. Elder, formerly with the Capital City Coal com pany, is no longer con&ected with said comp'any in anv capacity. All bills must be paid to R. Dietrich or J. J. Stanhiiber. Capital City Coal Co., S27 Kansas ave. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: All those contracting coal at the office or yard of the C. C. Coal company between the 1st of April and the 1st of September, 197, will pay the same to I. S. Elder, 611 East Eighth (Bass' old stand), as R. Deitrich or J. J. Stanhiiber are or were in no way interested in the same and have no authority to collect the same. I. S. Elder. NOTICE TO WHOM IT MAY CON CERN Be it known that my petition is on tile in the office of the probate court of Shawnee county. Kansas, asking for a permit to sell intoxicating liquors at 124 East Fourth St.. in the Second ward in the city of Topeka. Kansas, and the hear ing of the same is set for Monday, 9 a. m., January 10, 1SS7. AT. A. FUNCHES3. Topeka, Kan., Dec. 9. Ib'j'i. NOTICE TO WHOM IT MAY CON CERN Be it known that my petition is on file in the office of the probate court of Shawnee county. Kansas, asking for a permit to sell intoxicating liquors at 632 Kansas avenue, in the Second ward in the city of Topeka, Kansas, and the hear ing of the same is set for Wednesday, 9 a. m December 22, 1S97. G. W. STANSFIELD. Topeka, Kansas, Nov. 6, 1&S7. JEWELERS. . n TT . T. T7" "V T . ... ....... tlelan . Complete stock of watches, dia monds, silverware, etc. Eyes examined and spectacles properly fitted. PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. J DA C. BARNES, M. D. Office 7?i Kan. Ave. Residence 13th and Cla. Office hours: 9 a. m. to 11 a. m., and 3 p. m. to 5 p. m. Telephone 5S resi dence, and 16 offlce- liDWAHD ESTERLY. M. D. EYE AND EAR. 723 Kansas ave. SE. SHELDON, M. D..' Surgery and diseases of women, with private hospital. Office No. 720 Kan. Ave. L. A. RYDER. M. D. OFFICE and residence cor. Gordon St. and Central Ave.. North Topeka. "Phone 214. Uses the Brlnkerhoff system of rectal treatment, a successful and painless treatment for piles, listula, sb ure. ulceration, etc FUEL AND FEED. LEAVE your orders for coal, flour, feed and seds with Van Slyck. 509 W. 10th. HOROLOGIST. SEE A. WOLF, 116 East Sixth st.. when you want your watches and clocks repaired. Work guaranteed. PAVING. f'OR first-class pavls. sidewalk, or ouildlng brick, dried by steam and burned in down-draft kilns, the only way good vitrified brick can be made, call on W. Edson. sec'y of C. C. V. Brick & Pav ing Co.. 116 W. 6 to Ave. BICYCLES. TOPEKA CYCLE CO.. lli W. 8th St. Ricvcles and sundries: bicycles and tandems for rent; repairing of all kinds STAMPS. SEALS AND STENCILS THE J. C. DARLING CO.. 734 KAN. AVE.. TOPEKA. Send for catalogue and prices. MONEY. MONEY LOANED on pianos, organs, sewing machines, watches, diamonds, bicycles, typewriters and any personal propery. N. B. Campbell. 605 Kansas ave. - r ONEY TO LOAN on farms or city ...Vl-propertv at reasonable rates. W. M. FORBES, 116 W. 6tb Ave. LOANS on pianos, typewriters, bicycles guns, watches, diamonds and any per sonal property. L. Blscoe, 523 Kan. Ave. MILO NORTON, at 406 W. Sixth ere., will make farm loans of $1,500 or over at 6 per cent interest. Great Western Steam Dye ..and Cleaning Works 117 East seventh. Street. Does the best work in the city of Dye ing. Cleaning and Repairing on Ladles and Gentlemen's clothing at reasonable prices. Give us a call. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. C. F. BOBIGE3, Prop. MISSOURI PACIFIC. TOPEKA & FT. SCOTT ACCOM., No. JS3 Leave Topeka , 8:00 a. m. TOPEKA & FT. SCOTT ACCOM.. No. 2si Arrive Topeka S:00 p. m. S NATIONAL STABLES Cood turnout delivered te any part ef tae city. 13 H BOARDING A SPECIALTY- W rbooe 4S. 70 Jackson St. DEAD.STUCK fcs BUGS ilill- Roaches, Fleaa, Motba nd Podoasrs. poisocoae ; won't s.i-i- Lrvrge bottlt.-. t0jug- AMUSEMENTS. H EW CEAWfOBD THEATBE Monday, December 13. Greater Kansas City has just voted that Rich & Harris' great comedy produc tion. The Widow Jones Wltk FLO IRWiy at lh gisr, Is one of the best farce comedies they have ever een. The supporting company includes Walter Hawley, Ada Lewis, George Barnum, Hattle Waters and a host of other clever farceurs, introducing Songs, Dances and Clever Specialties. QRAND OPERA HOUSE A. G. Pearson's Stock Co. One Week. Commencing Mon day Might. Dreember 13. Opening in a series of Metropolitan productions of plays, such as POLICE PATROL, 1IISXIGHT ALARM. m 1 1 i h f srs, DISTRICT FAIR, Etc Kt?crifanif.b':!The White Sqaadron Pvpnlnr rrlecs-10,26 and gp. G RAWFORD'S OPERA HOUSE ALWAYS IV THE LEADI HOYTS A BUNCH OF KEYS (OR, THE HOTEL) ADA BOTHNEK, as TEDDY. Comedians, Singers, Dancers, Npoeially Artist, Oriffinnlltle., SToveltie nxil mor EHtrrlninmrut to the minute tunu all Others. A ReYelation in Lyric Art. Seats on sale Saturday. EW CRAWFORD THEATER. Friday Eve., Dec 17. The Sherwood GRAKD CONCERT COMFISY IN .THE OPERA ....MARTHA.., Chart opens at Rowley & Snow's on Wednesday at 9 a, m. Holders of season tickets are advised to reserve ..seats early Wednesday morning.. THE COMPLEAT SCORCHER. With Due Apologies to the Compleat Angler of Izaak Walton. Bikator Well met, brother. I have long wished to convert you to the enter taining art of biking. Venator Nay, but I like it not. Give me a good horse, such as I now ride, that crooks not yotir back nor engenders hu mors of the joints. Besides, your biking is a tame sport. Bik Beliere me, friend, it is nothing of the sort. Come you with me a few miles, and I will show you some pleasant prnnks, I warrant you. Ven Well, then, lead on. Bik Here is a fair road, where be no street car lines nor flints. Look you, there is a small dog. I will overrun it. Ven Cleverly done, o' my word ! You struck him shrewdly. How he yelpeth! Bik That is naught. Hold back, and I will make yonder dame swerve aside into a mud heap. There, did I not startla her finely? Ven In good sooth you did. She hath bemired one leg above the ankle and drop ped her basket of eggs to boot. Bik Confess, now, that this is pretty sport. But I will show you something still more pleasant. Here is an old gen tleman reading his paper in the middle of the road. He will not see mo coming. Did I not bowl him over cleanly? Ven Aye, you say rightly. His profan ity diverteth me mightily. But, sir, doth not this sort of thing injure the machine? Bik Doubtless, but 1 care not. It Is only one that I have hired. Tomorrow I shall get one from a different merchant. Ven Come, friend, why go you so slow ly? See, there is a covey of children com ing out of school. Knock me down a brace. Bik Nay, my master, this is the parish of Reigate, in the which perverse and ig norant magistrates do malignantly op press us poor scorchers. Ven You are jesting! Bik I would I were! Believe me, sir, If I killed even one of those brats in this pestilent place, I should have to pay a fine of Fevernl groats. Ven If thtit be so, I'll none of your biking. I care not to nave my sport cur tailed by every ill conditioned jack in office. Good day to you, master, and a safe journey. Pick Me Up. A Paradox. "A PIECE OF HARD trcE. New York "Journal. We do mendlrg and sew on buttons free of charge. Peerless SteamLaundry. Moved four doors north to 726 Kan. Ave., Cremerie Scott & Scott. Edot loar Hovelt With Ciueftreta. Candj Cathartic, cure constination forever. 10c, :5c II C. C. C. fail, drucgists refund money. pi.Ml!l Ill IJ m - WWW W. UWWW!.iLUUWMJlj W 1 ; KLONDIKE ; ... SQUAtf CREEK FOLKS. JEP JONES TELLS HOW THE SCHOOL WAS BROKEN UP. The Trouble Started When tha Philadel phia Schoolma'am Declared That tb Earth Was Bound aa a Ball Another ' Heresy About tho Sua. Most of ns folks in Squan Creek was agjn a ekols as a skule, but arter a deal o' talkin and wranglln and callLn hard names it was agreed to open one and see how things would pan out. Solomon Jack son seemed to hit things about right when he said : "Eddecashun Is fur them as doan't know nul to flirt a clam outer the sand with thar toes. If we knowed as much as Shakespeare, it wouldn't help us to ketch any mo' lobsters." The skule started off with 30 scholars and a woman teacher from Philadelphia. No body talked to her before she opened biz ness, and so she went ahead in the reg'lar way. It was just two days when Absalom Thompson come down to the wharf lockin mighty excited, and when he could git his breath he says : "Boys, what d'ye s'pose has happened? I'll be goshsd to Goshen if that skulema'am hain't gone in to bust the community. This arternoon she told all her scholars that the airtb was as round as a ball. ' ' "I can't believe it," says Josephus Har mon. "She'd never dare to do it," says Joe Taylor. "Did I ever hear the likes o' that," says Phineas Green. But it turned oat that she had said so, and, moreover, when a committee was ap p'inted to go and see her about it she held up her chin and declar'd that it was so. Then we called an indignashun meetin to see what should be done. When the meetin was ready fur bizness, Plato White got up and says: "I know thar's hills and hollers on this airth, fur I've seen soineo' 'em myself, but outside o' 'em the world is as fiat as my ole wallet, and anybody as says different does it to pick a fuss." "I'm with Plato," says Harrison Pom roy as he gits up. "That time I was Howed out to sea and picked up by an Englishman and carried to Liverpool I fcund nuthin bus flatness fur the hull ABNER WHITE'S BOY CORRECTED HIS 3,000 miles. If the world had bin round, we'd hev either gone up or gone down hill. I felt in my bones jest how it would be, and now it's come. The idea o' that gal comin here to talk sich stuff and nonsense to folks as hev bin ketch in crabs and lob sters fur the last hundred y'ars." Three or four others follered in the same strain, and then the preacher got up and purty nigh took the roof off the buildin by declarin that the gal was right. He brung in a globe to prove it, and he p'inted out sails on the ocean to back up the globe. He run ag'in a mud bank, however. He p'inted and talked and talked and p'inted, but nobody would believe him. Bimeby he go ircd and said he didn't keer whether we believed or not, and we passed a reso lushun that the gal shouldn't teach any more sich stuff to our children if she want ed to keep her job. Things went along all right fur a week or so, and some of the children had got so they could tell the pio tur' o' a kangaroo from that o' a church steeple, when the skulema'am broke loose ag in. She told the children that the airth moved around the sun, and before dark Squan Creek was b'ilin over with excite ment. It was wuss than when we got the news that P. T. Barnum's five legged colt was dead. We called another indignashun meetin that very night, and Tim Smith got up and said: "Ar' this heresy or sedition or what? Ever since Columbus diskivored this North Ameriky, with Noo Jersey and Squan Creek incloodcd, the sun hev bin movin from Squan Creek pint around to Seven Feot inlet. Our grandfathers saw it, our fathers saw it, and if we hain't seen it then we must be blind. She's moved ev ery day o' her life, and the airth hain't had nuthin to do with it, but along comes a gal from Philadelphia that don't know an oyster bed from a jib topsail and says the sun has bin standiu still all this time. I was purty nigh knocked out when she declar'd ag in the flatness o' the airth, but this thing finishes me. I can't 'low my son Jonas to 'tend that skule no more. With sich teachin g as that ho wouldn't know nuff to bait a fishhook next y'ar." Tim Smith sot down amid the awfullest tort o' applause, and then Solomon Tomp kins got up and said: "We ar' told that this airth do move. When has she moved? Every man of us here tonight was born in Squan Creek, and did any o' us ever know this town to move up to New York or down to Barne gat? Has the wharf or the boat houses moved? Ain't every thin standln jest wbar it was 60 y'ars ago? As to the sun standin still, if my ole woman should tell me that I should hsv her locked up fur on idiot. She's bin movin ever since the wheels o time was set in moshun, and she ll keep right on movin when fciquan Creek has biu forgotten. I've got a boy named Thomas what is attendin that skule. He's a good bfrr, an he'll find a clam under two feet o' mud. Ruther than hev that boy sp'ilt I'll sell out and move away." Solomon also got lots o' applause, and then we sent fur the teacher to explain matters. Sho showed up, and she was powerful sassy about it. Sho stuck to it that the sun stood still and the airth moved, and she talked and talked to prove it, and the preacher backed her up. We knowed we couldn't be mitooken about it, but arter jawin fur a eouple o' boars we agreed to try her fur a week longer. We votad to do it, and it was a el us vote and orter bin a warn in to her, but it wasn't. It wasn't over four days when A brier White's boy corrected his father fur ayin "Cbewsday." The old man got arter him, and tho boy owned up that the teach er had told him to alius call it" Tuesday." That was the last hair that broke the camel's back. Abner went out on the street and blowed his flshhorn and got the town out fur another indignashun meetin. and this time thar wasn't to be no foolin about things. He gits up and he says: "Fur the last 200 y'ars Squan Creek folks her bin callin the third day of the week Chewsday. The name has bin good 'nuff fur the best of us till that gal cum here from Philadelphia. All of a sudden she pops in and tells our children to call it Tuesday, and as I'm helpin my boy Jim to fish and 'taters tonight at supper time he stands up and corrects me. Kin you imagine the feelin of a father when he's told by his son that thar's no sich word as Chewsday and that that father has bin wrong all his life? I'm one as says that skule must go. If that gal keeps on with her ways, Squan Creek won't market a single lobster next y'ar." We was all agreed with him. We felt that we was standln on the aige of a vol cano, which might bust forth at anyminit and overwhelm us, and we paid that gal $1 and sent her off next day and broke up the skule. Thar's bin talk of settin up another one to l'arn the children to read and write but I don't think it'll ever be done. Beadin and writin is good 'nun fur folks as hev nuthin else to do, but they don't help nobody to find clams nor set lobster pots. M. Quad. Poor Tommy. Even so sacred a thing as maternal af fection may sometimes provoke a smile. "Why, Mrs. " .Taniesby!" exclaimed a neighbor across the back yard fence. "Do you beat your own carpets?" "Yes," replied Mrs. .Tamesby. "I don't mind it. It's good exercise." "I should think you'd have Tommy do it." "Poor Tommy!" rejoined the good wo man, resuming her exercise. "He belongs (whack !) to a gymnastic class down town, and (whack !) he's so tired when he cornea home in the afternoon (whack !) that I haven't the heart to ask him (whack !) to take hold of any work like this (whack, whack!)." Youth's Companion. FATHER FUR SAY IN "CHEWSDAY." A Tropic Idylette. "Take heart!" The fair young wife gazed lovingly, trustfully, into the face of her spouse. "Take heart," she said. But he pushed her aside, frowning heavily. "Do you mean to say, " be thun dered, "that that pink tea of yours got away with that whole captive, all but the giblets?" Afar on the dusky tropic strand the lit tle turtles cooed sobbingly to one another. New York Press. Bemlalsoent. "That piece," said the young man who plays the piano by ear, "is a minor." "Is it possible?" exclaimed his acquaint ance. "Couldn't you recognize it?" "Oh, yes. I recognized it. My impres sion was t'nat it was of age long ago. " Washington Star. The Recoil. She fell upon his neck. Suddenly she recoiled. "Rubber neck!" she muttered, pressing her hand to her brow. Certainly the way she recoiled suggested rubber or something equally elastic. De troit Journal. Settled Out of Court. "Madam," said the court, "do I Trader stand that you have withdrawn your ac tion against this man for stealing a kiss?" "Yes, your honor. He has returned it and agreed to pay the costs." Detroit Free Press. A Critical Opinion. Dunn What do you think of Dauber's latest picture after Rubens? Brown I think that Rubens would be after Dauber if he could only see it. New York Sunday Journal. After the Colliaion. "What's that idiot Todgers sitting out In the roadway for?" "Trying to collect his scattered senses." "Well, it won't take him long." Cleve land Plain Dealer. An Advantaeo In HI Cm. Hicks It must be awful to stutter tha way Bicker does. Wicks I don't know. It is a good way ef making a little go a great way. Boston Transcript. Drew tho LiBe. Mrs. Nitte Something to eat? Clear out, or I'll call my husband. Wayworn Wick Madam, I haveetdorg, but I ain't bo eannerb&L New York Press. Kewr Changed. "Advance and give the countersign." "$.99, reduced from $5." ' ' Correct. Pass on ! ' ' New York Jour CaL Cares Emve Causht the Crase. The nights shall be filled with wheelists, And the cares that infest the day Shali pomp up their tires like the bikers And as silently steal away. r-c trait Free Press. HER CASTLE. "Coma ia the house this instant and scrub the floor! I never in all my life saw such a lazy, shiftless girl. Do you heal me?" "Yea, aunt." "There you go! It's 'Yes, annt,' from morn In till night. What on airth air you a -loo kin at?" "I was watching tho clouds, Aunt Hes ter. Do come and see this one in the form of a castle" "A castle! Good Lord! Just as if them dumpy lookin clouds had any more shape to 'em than a feather bod. Land sakes, how some folks' Imagination runs away with 'em!" "May I trouble you for a glass of wa ter?" interrupted a voice at this moment. Aunt Hester started. In the kitchen door stood a young man clad in a hunting costume, with his gun slung carelessly over his shoulder. "I've had but poor luck," he said, smil ing pleasantly at Alice, "and am quits thirsty." Then, turning to Aunt Hester, he added: "You have a fine, old place here. May I ask if you know of any one in the vicin ity who would be willing to take a boarder for a few weeks?" "I dun no, " replied Aunt Hester slowly. "I've got a spare room that ain't in use. Perhaps I might. Is it you?" "Yes. I have come up among the hills here for a month's holiday. I will pay you well. I like the place." And Aunt Hester, always eager to maka money, led the way to a large, pleasant, square room, whoso windows looked out upon the hills and surrounding country for miles around. The stranger was so pleased with ths view that he engaged the room then and there. "I'll go back to the hotel at the entrance of the valley and have my traps soot up at once," he said. "I shall have time to gel back before sunset. " Ezra Barnard was in waiting In ths front room when he returned. "Hello, Al!" he said, greeting her. "I came over to ask you to a dig they're a ga in to have down to the Coruers tomorrow night. How d'ye do?" acknowledging the Introduction to the stranger awkwardly. "I cannot go," sho said coldly. "Oh, pshaw, Al! You're always a-say-in that. You can go. Your aunt said you could. They 're a-goin to have a tarna tion sight of fun!" "I cannot go, Ezra." " For the land sakes, Alice, I ghn'd think you'd bo ashamed of yourself," broke in Aunt Hester indignantly, "arter all the pains Eara's took to cpmo way over here a-purpose to ask you. Shu'dn't you think she orter be ashamed, Mr. Ellis?" "Perhaps M4ss Bond does not care for parties," said the young man pleasantly. "But this 'ere one is goin to be an extra affair two fiddles and a bass viol. I tell you it'll be a regular old hoe down. Sst, Al" But the girl had slipped quietly from tha rocm. "I swan," exclaimed Ezra, risinsr, his florid face becoming several tinges redder, "if that hain't a purty trick to 6erve a feller! There's more gals than ono in the world, howsomover, as I 'll jest show her. I'll ask Alminy Rindwort to go. She'll jump at the chance." "La, now don't be hasty, Ezra," sail Aunt Hester soothingly. "Alice will go. I'll bring her round tomorrow. She's only a littlo odd and ofiijh. When you're mar ried, it'll bo all right." "I don't knovra9 I care about a balky gal for a wife !" exclaimed Ezra coarsrly. "Perhaps I won't have her, arter all." And snatching his hat he sullenly left the house. Every moment that Alice could now snatch from her drudgery she spent in reading. Before the books which Mr. Ellis had first lent her were finished ha had sent to the city for more. Nearly ev ery evening, when Aunt Hester was com fortably dozing in her armchair, Mr. Ellis would select a bonk, and going out into tho porch would read aloud in his clear, musical voice to Alice. Mr. Ellis had fallen Into the habit of calling her "Allie, " and somehow she liked it, for now his month had lengthened into three, and it seemed to Alice as if they had been together almost forever. "Allle, " he said, "tomorrow will bo ths 1st of November, and I in going away." They were standing in the twilight. The last rays of the setting sun were gilding the girl's chestnut hair until it shone like burnished gold. The fringed curtains dropped quickly over tho brown eyes, and a sudden pallor overspread the sweot girlish face. "This has been a pleasant summer and autumn, Allie," he said. "Hasn't it?" "Yes," she answered, with a voice that faltered in spite of all her efforts. "Shall you miss mo, Allie?" The Intonation was so low it was hardly more than a whiSDer. With a great effort the girl steadied her voice and answered calmly : "Certainly, Mr. Ellis. It that is, we shall all miss you." "I am going home, Alice," he said, watching her keenly, "to prepare a castle for my ladylovo, as a truo knight should. Shall I tell you about her where I first met her and how I came to love her?" "If you please, " came ever so faintly. There was a terrible sickening at her heart. "It w-3 one day I was returning from a hunt. I was very tired and thirsty, and from the brow of a hill I espied in the val ley below a house. I determined to go down to it and ask for a glass of water. As I drew near I saw a young girl stand ing in its yard watthinsr the great fleecy white clouds that were floating Idly about in the sky. Alice started and crimsoned suddenly. "I paused in admiration of tho swe-jt-3s fare I had ever beheld," he said, pressing her hand. "Just then a woman came o'jt of the house and reprimanded the girt 6harply and a&ked her what 6ho saw. Tho reply was, 'A castle.' Do you remem ber it, Allie? From that moment, dearest I fell in love with you and then and thi-re determined, if you were willing, that I would prove your true knight. Will ypu marry me, Allie, and go to my castle with me?" There was a smothered little sob, nqulck glance up at his face, and then the gil whispered: ' "Yes, Harry." And Harry went away the next dsiy, but came back before tw o months, and then Alice Bond went to live in her castio, which exceeded in beauty her wildest ex pectations. New York News. The Philosopher and the Scoffer. "Tell me what you eat," said the sage, "and I can tell you whkt you are." "Rats!" shouted the scoffer. "Ah Chinese, bt-yond perud venture ! CiuolUJCfcti Enquirer. i I