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Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS
Newspaper Page Text
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, SATURDAY EVENING, JUNE 9, 1900.
. O 9 & 9 e c a m J". i I V T 4 " . 4 4 r I A l,'? h 3 'i'WVVVV -i-i-i-i-i-i-i- o a 8 a 8 :-! : : ; : i : i-i: .h..;...,,..,;-, unim: h : i-.i-i-i-i-r 1 1 .h..i 1 1 : ; m i 1 1 i ooa VAIN REGRETS. The Kid: "(Ice, I wisht I'd saved dat rotten cucumber dat I t'rowed at . 'Spike' Casey!" New York Evening Journal. . THE PRUDENT FATHER. T 'y ' l """"" 11 . - "Willie, ye bad boy, come out of that draft! Facts In the Case. "How did he lose his standing in the community?" "By getting- drunk and letting a train run over his legs." Chicago Times-Herald. One In a. Thousand. "I see that a woman doctor up In Chicago says that only one woman in 1.000 is fit to bring up children." "I'll bet she's one of the ones." Cleveland Plain Dealer. J a fr:e wis "TO HAVE AND TO HOLD" (SOUTH AFRICAN VERSION), St. Paul Pioneer .Press A HORSE ON CASEY. First Gamin Say, Casey's in de 8'loon gittin fuller'n a goat, an dat stingy harness maker's gone to lunch. Let's change horses. Casey Shtill now if yez move I'll murther yez I "Git up! Git up! What the divil's the matter wid yez?" (Bang, bang, bang!) 3 ' Saga - "Well, be the saints, can yez feel this?" "Begorra, yez'll drive me wild! Will, this make yez move?" (Bang! ! !) o-o-o-O-O-W! ! ! Scribner'3. THE KID'S MISAPPREHENSION. i JJ!toif!i7ifr,fi . w i ' a, i "Hi, you, Sambo! Git off an walk up! Yo' heah me? Think yo' ole pap is drivin a steamless hoss kerridge ?" Ne w York Evening Journal. THE DELIGHTS OF EELING. ( HAD 'HIM THERE. r i Small Boy: "Wher' go'n?" Smaller Boy: "Nowheres!" Small Boy: Yes, ye be!" Smaller Boy: "Saw, I ain't. I'm comin back!" BRITISH CUP OF JOY. '3 S .... -. V5 ....Li.. - rfc . v v .... r ' s, Kruger: "Yaas, you haf der foam, Johnny, but think of der cost." Clever land Plain Dealer. ' A THIN STORY. Convivial Fly: "Very shorry, m' dear! Wash fly in shtraight home when shuddenly fell into shtein of beer." Scribner's. Fizzled. One Tschrknwovsky said Unto himself, "I guess For myself I shall make a name. 'Twas no pronounced success. Indianapolis Press. His Virtue. "Well, no one can ever say that X talk about my neighbors." ""No; you talk about yourself so much that you don't have time." Chicago Times-Herald. HIS OVERWEENING SIMPLICITY. "Do you know, I hate the practice of overloading oneself with Jewelry sa much that I always make my servant carry mine behind me." t . - -