The Topeka state journal. [volume], June 09, 1900, LAST EDITION, Editorial Section, Page 14, Image 14

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, SATURDAY EVENING, JUNE 9, 1900.
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VAIN REGRETS.
The Kid: "(Ice, I wisht I'd saved dat rotten cucumber dat I t'rowed at .
'Spike' Casey!" New York Evening Journal. .
THE PRUDENT FATHER.
T
'y ' l
"""""
11 . -
"Willie, ye bad boy, come out of that draft!
Facts In the Case.
"How did he lose his standing in
the community?"
"By getting- drunk and letting a
train run over his legs." Chicago
Times-Herald.
One In a. Thousand.
"I see that a woman doctor up In
Chicago says that only one woman
in 1.000 is fit to bring up children."
"I'll bet she's one of the ones."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
J
a fr:e wis
"TO HAVE AND TO HOLD" (SOUTH AFRICAN VERSION),
St. Paul Pioneer .Press
A HORSE ON CASEY.
First Gamin Say, Casey's in de
8'loon gittin fuller'n a goat, an dat
stingy harness maker's gone to
lunch. Let's change horses.
Casey Shtill now if yez move I'll
murther yez I
"Git up! Git up! What the divil's
the matter wid yez?" (Bang, bang,
bang!)
3 ' Saga -
"Well, be the saints, can yez feel
this?"
"Begorra, yez'll drive me wild!
Will, this make yez move?"
(Bang! ! !)
o-o-o-O-O-W! ! !
Scribner'3.
THE KID'S MISAPPREHENSION.
i JJ!toif!i7ifr,fi
. w i ' a, i
"Hi, you, Sambo! Git off an walk up! Yo' heah me? Think yo' ole pap is drivin a steamless hoss kerridge ?" Ne w
York Evening Journal.
THE DELIGHTS OF EELING.
(
HAD 'HIM THERE.
r i
Small Boy: "Wher' go'n?"
Smaller Boy: "Nowheres!"
Small Boy: Yes, ye be!"
Smaller Boy: "Saw, I ain't. I'm comin back!"
BRITISH CUP OF JOY.
'3 S
.... -.
V5
....Li.. - rfc . v v .... r ' s,
Kruger: "Yaas, you haf der foam, Johnny, but think of der cost." Clever
land Plain Dealer. '
A THIN STORY.
Convivial Fly: "Very shorry, m' dear! Wash fly in shtraight home when
shuddenly fell into shtein of beer." Scribner's.
Fizzled.
One Tschrknwovsky said
Unto himself, "I guess
For myself I shall make a name.
'Twas no pronounced success.
Indianapolis Press.
His Virtue.
"Well, no one can ever say that X
talk about my neighbors."
""No; you talk about yourself so
much that you don't have time."
Chicago Times-Herald.
HIS OVERWEENING SIMPLICITY.
"Do you know, I hate the practice of overloading oneself with Jewelry sa
much that I always make my servant carry mine behind me."
t .
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