OCR Interpretation

The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, July 28, 1900, LAST EDITION, Editorial Section, Image 12

Image and text provided by Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn82016014/1900-07-28/ed-1/seq-12/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for 12

Official Paper of the City Of Topeka.
Pally edition, delivered by carrier, 10
rents a week to any part of Topeka, or
suburbs, or at the same price In any Kan
sas town where the paper has a carr.er
Ky mail, one year on
T-Sv ynnil thmA mnnth .........
Weekly edition, one year
Topeka State .lournal Building. X and
802 Kansas avenue, corner of Eighth.
Temple Court Bldg.
A- Frank Richardson, Mgr.
Stock Exchange Bldgr.
A. Frank Richardson. Mgr.
12 Red Lion Court, Fleet Street.
Business Office....- Bell 'Phone 107
Reporters' Room Bell Phone 5.7
There is a good job for "Old Sleuth"
over in China.
The truth is mighty and may finally
succeed in escaping from Pekin.
Oom Paul and Aguinc might lind
a bargain on the peace counter if they
ill visit it early.
It looks as though the two leading par
ties had agreed to drop the civil service
issue by common consent.
Whjr is it that the campaign fund of
the opposition is always used for the
purpose of corrupting the voters?
S'nce China got possession of the
news channels of the world nothing is
heard from Anderson, Ind., or Webster
City, Iowa.
The truth about the situation in Pekin
is ibout the hardest proposition the
newspaper special correspondents ever
went against.
There are now at Tien Tsin 25,000 for
eign troops. If they were all Americans
we would soon know the truth about
the! situation at Pekin.
What sort of economy is it to sell
coal to Russia for use in her factories
when we could keep th coal and sell
her manufactured goods;?
Gentlemen who have been turned down
by Republican conventions this year are
reminded that the position of first assist
ant postmaster general is still vacant.
With yellow fever in the army camps
of Cuba, the yellow men killing our
people in China, and yellow journalism,
the administration about has its hands
Col. Bryan will paramount the ques
tion of imperialism in his speech of ac
ceptance, but the opposition organs will
continue to insist that the issue is free
Chinese character appears to have
undergone no change since Bret Harte
"For ways that are dark and tricks
that are vain.
The Heathen Chinee is peculiar."
Europe is now getting returns on her
Investment in connection with her med
dling between China and Japan. If japan
had been given her" way the present
trouble probably .would never have ex
isted. Just to show that he did not boss the
Kansas City convention as has been
charged. Mr. Bryan has announced that
he will paramount the question of im
perialism in his speech of acceptance,
out of deference to the platform
Under a recent order issued from the
postoffice department any one residing
along the line of a free delivery mail
route can send a letter to hi3 neigh
bor on the same route without waiting
for it to go through the postoffice. The
carrier is empowered to cancel the
stamp and drop it at the address desig
nated. Every such improvement is cal
culated to make residence in the rural
districts more endurable and curtail the
tendency of the country folk: to drift
into the cities.
At this season of the year when the
weather is warm, business dull and so
ciety at a standstill, many people have
a longing for a change of scenery. The
summer vacation becomes the import
ant topic of the hour.
Some people say that to keep cool
and contented during the hot weather it
Is necessary to keep busy, but as a rule
the people who give such advice are the
ones who have little to do except pur
sue the phantom comfort.
The places and ways or spending the
Bummer vacation are legion. Few peo
ple think it possible to remain at home
though that Is often the most com
fortable place to be found.
Many people save their money eleven
months out of the rear in order to
epend the twelfth one at a fashionable
summer resort where they willingly put
tip with discomforts that they would
scarcely endure at home.
Some spend their time in traveling
and sight seeing, while others go to the
mountains, lakes or seashore where they
may be free to dress comfortably with
out frills and. furbelows demanded at a
fashionable resort; where they may fish,
boat, bathe and indulge in all out door
eports from which they return rested
and ready to take up the routine of
every day work.
To most people the last course would
seem the most sensible and inviting,
but it really matters little where or how
the vacation is spent. A change of
scenery and atmosphere are the vital
points and in many cases save big doc-
tor bill.
The bronze drinking fountain, given to
Topeka by the Kev.. Mr. C. M. Sheldon
is now in place at a populous city cor
ner where the thirsty passerby can
quench a desire for water at all hours
of the day or night.
This charitable donation of the re
spected pastor certainly contributes
much comfort to the shoppers, passers
by and those compelled to wait for
street cars at the transfer station. This
is always a busy corner and no more
suitable site could have been chosen.
Ice placed in an underground box,
keeps the water cool.
The fountain Is substantial and of a
well chosen design and a credit to the
This is not the first time Topeka has
had occasion to be thankful to Mr. Shel
don for his interest in and charity
towards the city. In a modest, humble
manner, in years past, he has expended
time and money in making brighter and
more cheerful the lives and homes of
colored citizens in that portion of To
peka known as "Tennesseetown."
The efforts put forth in this territory
were not in vain as anyone who is
familiar with the situation well knows.
Today the habits and morals of the
citizens of "Tennesseetown" are vastly
improved over the conditions existing
before he began his. crusade of enlight
enment. Another work of Mr. Sheldon's for
which he Is entitled to the thanks of
the community, is his Interest in the
homeless wanderer that' reaches the po
lice station. A goodly sum was donated
for a detention hospital in connection
w ith the city jail so that the less harden
ed and younger criminals may not be
placed in eontact with the older rogue
and thus soon be made "beyond par
don." The proceeds of this charity were
largely receipts from Mr. Sheldon's
week of newspaper editing and . while
there is some difference of opinion as
to the success of the applied journalis
tic methods there is not the slightest
division of sentiment as to the worthi
ness of the disposal of ins portion of the
Man dies but his memory lives.
So the Christian works of Rev. Mr.
Sheldon will endure in the memory of
Topeka citizens long after his remains
shall have crumbled to dust.
The bronze drinking fountain will be
an honored monument ever present in
the thoughts of the passing citizen.
Topeka may learn some things from
Fort Scott. The Populist and Demo
cratic conventions which were in session
there this week demonstrated that Fort
Soctt can rise to any emergency. This
little city of only about 12,000 people, in
accessible from the rest of the state,
took care Of these two big conventions
in a manner that deserves commenda
tion. When the Populists decided to meet
in Fort Scott there was not even the
semblance) of a convention hall. Some
thing had to be done and the young
men who secured the convention went
home and began their work. They se
cured subscriptions and began the con
struction of a convention hall which
would be a credit to any city in Kan
sas. While the exterior could not be
called an architectural triumph the in
terior is admirably suited to a political
convention. The hall cost about $10,000.
These same young men, J. T. Shep
pard. Mayor C. W. Goodlander and J.
F. Letton, proprietor of the Goodlander
hotel, then began making their plans
for the entertainment of the visitors.
Rooms were secured- to use after the.
hotel facilities were exhausted and a
hundred other little things were done
to insure the comfort of the guests.
There was a large crowd in Fort Scott
but every one found a good place to
sleep. The hotel rates were not in
creased and Sheppard, Goodlander and
Letton moved among the visitors pat-
ting them on the back and trying to
make them feel at home. There were
others who contributed to the entertain
ment of the guests but these men were
the prominent figures.
Convention hall was elaborately dec
orated, bands were hired and as a Re
publican member of the executive com
mittee expressed it, "Every one in Fort
Scott was a fusionist" while the visitors
were there.
These meetings demonstrated what
can be done by men with push and
energy even in a small city. The vis
itors at Fort Scott left with a good
impression of the city and of the people.
The investment was a good one and To
peka will do well to make a few in
vestments of a similar nature.
The people of Kansas will be very
busy until snow flies. The ordinary
features of the remainder of the sum
mer and fall season are always suffi
cient to occupy all the spare time the
people have at command, but this year
the additional burden of saving the
country asain is imposed upon them
by the laws which bring such frequent
As a digression, it might be said,
that there are now too many elections
held in this state, but that is a sub
ject which can not be regulated by a
matter of mere opinion. It requires
legislation and when the time arrives
for legislation the election of United
States senator or the creation of some
new office occupies so much of the at
tention of the legislators that the in
terests of the people are overlooked un
til the next campaign, when the people
put up some new man who falls into
the footsteps of his predecessors, and
so the constant round continues.
The Republican state committee has
its charts and lists of speakers ready
to put before the people September 1.
The fusionists come to Topeka next
week to prepare for a similar onslaught
against their foes and the enemies of
anti-imperialism an silver and some
other ideas. The national committees
are at work. The political machinery
for the year has been to all general ap
pearances turned loose. The actual re
sults will not be apparent for a month,
but after that time the school houses,
the market place, street corners, opera
houses, and the store box -which has
so Ions remained unused because of
busy people and of the absence of a
national "crisis," will be teeming with
the industry and whittling of the poli
tician. The candidates will travel over
the dusty railroads, begrimed with soot
and dust; will perspire and spend their
money attempting to convince the
"plain people" that the particular idea
of political salvation which they offer
is the very latest and best brand. So
it will go for over two months. In the
meantime the country will resound,
from one end to the other, witb the un
precedented "Hopping" of voters who
have realized the error of their ways
and joined the other party.
In the meantime the Kansas farmer
will harvest his crops; ship his cattle,
sheep and hogs; eat spring chicken six
days a week with turkey for Sunday;
see the county fairs; attend the horse
races; take his apples to the cider mill;
have his wagon tires set; get stuck in
heavy roads: cut his winter supply of
wood; put away his straw hat, and ap
proach .the polls on election day with
out a tremor. Then it will be observed
that the anxiety as to the result of the
approaching election will be most
breathlessly awaited by the politician
whose consuming ambition to get into
some kind of an office depends upon
the turn of the tide on election day.
Whether Rev. Charles M. Sheldon re
ceived inspiration from on high, or ab
sorbed it from reading heathen history,
the fact that the public drinking foun
tain that today runs an ample stream
of clear, cold water, of which any and
everybody can imbibe freely and fully,
is a monument to Mr. Sheldon's gen
erosity that should be an incentive to
others to emulate. While I do not
think that these beneficences should be
erected by private enterprise and gen
erosity, I do think that more private
money rut into such public blessings
would redound to the credit of the in
dividual with more force and efficacy
than monuments in cemeteries inscribed
with epitaphs and emblazoned with
hieroglyphics that may be pleasing to
the eye but not solacing the stomach
of the thirsty beholder. I do not object
to cemeteries being beautified they
should be but the rich man Dives
would have given whole -colonnades of
monuments to Lazarus if L. would have
sprinkled D.'s burning brow with a lit
tle, ever so little, of the limpid fluid
that spreads over three-fourths of our
globe in oceans, lakes and river, and
that has not.yet been captured by the
trusts that is, not all of it. Yes, sir,
as stingy as I am, I freely part with
my benediction upon the head of
Charles M. Sheldon for his generosity
in giving to the public that beautiful
and refreshing fountain that gushes for
all, at the very spot where its blessing
is most needed.
Topeka is a beautiful city and pro
gressive in everything excepting the
utilities that the "heathen in his blind
ness" was most prolific in public utili
ties. The ancient public baths and cis
terns, and retiring booths, were his
torical monuments of beneficence that
will never permit the modern estimate
of bestiality and corruption of the times
of Nero and antedating him and suc
cessive monarchs to obliterate those
considerate and humanitarian practices
of the ungodly Mohammedans, Arabs
and Hindoos. We can emulate, in some
simple manner, the idea, if not the stu
pendous works of ancient times, even
though it is humiliating to our pride to
copy ideas from the "heathen who bows
down to wood and stone" always with
clean feet. Now, since Mr. Sheldon, an
individual, has set the example, I think
that all that is necessary is to call the
attention of the city tailway corpora
tion to the much needed .establishment
of toilet and retiring rooms at their
transfer station for the accommodation
of at least the patrons of their cars.
I believe it should be done at the ex
pense of the city railway corporation,
which should be as considerate of the
needs of its patrons as the railroad
corporations and hotels are of theirs. It
may be objected that it would be an
expense to the company that would not
return compensation. No matter it is
not a question of reciprocation In dol
lars and cents, but it is a serious ques
tion of humanity that should be met
and cheerfully solved by the company.
The city sanitary force should be em
powered to regulate and care for that
utility. . "
Then, Topeka, as a city, should have
a, system of drinking fountains and re
tiring rooms throughout the city. With
such a system, under the surveillance
and vigilance of the sanitary and po
lice force, Topeka would be really what
she seems to be the most beautiful
and benevolent city in America.
Tcpeka.July 2S, 1900.
Topeka can be beautified. Topeka peo
ple can be the means. If the business
men of the city would contribute as
the business men of other citie3 have
done the small parks and public places
might be ornamented and improied and
the people benefited.
Liberal donations have been made to
the hospitals and educational institu
tions by philanthropists able to give
large amounts and such gifts have been
of great benefit. Smaller gifts can be
made that will do as much good In pro
portion. When the Rev. Charles M. Shel
don gave the city a drinking fountain,
which has been placed near the transfer
station, he gave comparatively but a
small sum of money but by his thought
fulness he gave what will refresh hun
dreds of people dally. It Will stand as a
monument in memory of the donor al
though there is no inscription to show
who gave it.
The late Col. Cyrus K. Holliday deeded
to the city the small plat of ground
Which is known as Holliday park. The
park has been beautified and brightens
that part of town. Col. Joel Huntoou
donated to the city the park which bears
his name. Such donations help to make
Topeka a better city. Other donations
of small plats of ground, monuments,
more drinking fountains and gifts of a
similar nature can be made that will do
a vast amount of good. There are scores
of business men in the city able to make
such gifts to the city and many would
willingly do so !f they had pointed out
to them an opportunity.
"The Woman That's Good." by Harold
Richard Vynne. Price $1.50. Published
by Rand, McNally & Co., New York and
This is a realistic story a story of the
present day, with the scene laid in New
York and Chicago, and portraying in its
pages of unwavering interest the char
acteristics of some fascinating people
whose acts upon the stage of life have
been found worthy of the novelist's pen.
The book chronicles the undoing of a
dreamer, whose awakening to the stern
duties of human existence is brought
about in a clever manner. There is that
element of realism of familiar scenes, of
strong characterization, and of spirited
conversation that will impress the reader
with its naturalness. The book is well
bound and in a most attractive cover.
The type is good also, mailing a book
worthy of any good library.
"The Work of the Holy Spirit," by
Abraham Kuyper. D. IX. translated by
Rev. Henri de Vries. Published by "Funk
& Wagnalls Co., New York City. Price,
This work Is a timely one. During the
Middle Ages many of the most important
doctrines of the Word of God for the
Christian church were practically lost.
The Reformation began the work of their
restoration, starting with the doctrine of
Justification by Faith, and one by one
these doctrines have been restored. The
last one to be restored is that concerning
"The Person atd Work of the Holy
Spirit." Fifty years ago John Owen's
great classic was almost the only work of
solid worth accessible.
Dr. Kuyper's work on the Holy Spirit
was first published In Amsterdam, for
the instruction of the people in the Neth
erlands. ritten in the ordinary lan
guage of the people, it meets the need of
both laity and clergy.
Christians of the present day are ask
ing practical questions about the work of
the Holy Spirit. In this work the author
gives his answers and reasoning, and
makes a valuable book lor religious
"Uncle Sam Abroad," by J. F,. Conner.
Price $1.25. Published by Rand, McNally
& Co., Chicago and New York.
This is an able ami fascinating book
on an entirely new subject, "and one that
should be in the bands of every American
It is the outcome of a series of uni
versity extension lectures on the diplo
matic and consular service of the United
States. Lawyers, professors, teachers,
students and readers generally will find
here in an interesting and convenient
form, a fairly complete treatment of a
subject everybody wishes to know about,
especially at a time when the social and
political phases of our international rela
tions are daily referred to in the newspa
pers and magazines and now since the
international war has opened, this book
can te referred to on many occasions, as
it will settle many tittle questions daily
"The Voice of the People." by Ellen
Glasgow. New York. Doubleday, Page &
Co., $1.50.
This story-' is already In Its twelfth
thousand. 'It's author will be remembered
as the author of "The Descendant." She
has now written a strong and vivid story
of life in Virginia after the war of the
rebellion. It is a thoroughly dramatic
story, in which the love interest is ab
sorbing and the character-drawing of the
kind that pleases all readers.
"The Banker and the Bear: A Story
of a Corner in Lard." by Henry K. Web
ster. New York, The Maemillan company.
Price $1.50.
This is a story of present day life in
Chicago, the scenes of which are placed
partly in society and partly in the environ
ment of the Stock Exchange. Chicago,
however, is not mentioned in the book as
the real scene of action. The author has
seized upon certain possibilities in con
structive narrative which very likely
came to him through actual experience
and has woven a narrative which is full
of excitement and suspense. "The Bear"
and the Banker are chums. The "Buir
is financed by the Banker in the endeavor
to run the "Corner" in lard, and the story
derives its title from the necessity found
by the "Bear" for the ruin of his chum
the Banker in order to upset the fin
ancial schemes of the. "Bull." A stirring
love story threads its way through the
financial excitement of the book.
"The Redemption of David Corson," by
Charles Frederick Goss, 418 pages. The
Bowen-Merrill Company, Indianapolis.
Handsomely- bound. Price, $1.50.
David Corson, the hero of this romance,
is a mystic. He falls at the outset of his
career, but just in time he sees the error
of his ways and is restored to grace. The
author has for principal theme the conso
lation derived from the gospel. The hero
ine of the story is a singularly original
character, a gypsy woman. "The Redemp
tion of David Corson" is replete with dra
matic effects. The action takes place on
the banks of the Great Miami river, and
all the local characteristics have been pre
served. The success of this romance has
been remarkable. 'First published in
March of this year, it has already gone
through four editions.
"The Reign of Law: A Story of the
Kentuckv Hemp Fields," by James Lane
Allen. The Maemillan company, New
York. Price. $i.5u.
Both the hero and heroine of Mr. Al
len's latest tale are "the products of a
revolution. The scene of - the plot is laid
in the hemp fields of Kentucky, a terri
tory hitherto unfrequented by the writers
of American fiction. The revolution on
the one hand was the social upheaval of
the great civil war which absolutely
changed the condition of the heroine,
while on the other hand the moral ami
intellectual revolution which followed the
great discoveries in physical and social
science in the middle of the century,
brought about the transformation of the
hero. The voung man arises from the
lowest stratum of southern society, and
the young woman from the highest, and
the Ftorv of the intermingling of their
lives presents a. most absorbing narrative
as well as sociological study of infinite
importance at the present day. Social
and political conditions are involved,
manv phases of life are presented, so that
the utterly different conditions which pro
due two beings which are gradually
brought together form an infinite field for
The Great and Growing Institution at
We take pleasure in calling attention
to the great college of central Kansas:
Bethany of Lindsborg, whose advertise
ment covers the sixteenth page of this
issue of the State Journal. Bethany has
alwavs believed in the efficacy of print
er's ink. combined with hard, earnest,
persevering toil, it is not the ooilege
for the boy or girl, simply wishing to
get through easily. At Bethany the stu
dent must work. Only paying and
staying don't buy a diploma at this
great college. The student will have to
deserve his diploma, in order to get it.
Parents and conscientious guardians
are mindful of this important fact.
Bethany's musical reputation is estab
lished all over the country. It is easily
the greatest musical school of the state.
Some people do not know that the col
lege proper, with the academy and nor
mal adjuncts, ranks among the very
best in the land. Its diploma is recog
nized w ithout examination by the great
universities of the east and of Europe,
and in this state leads to a life certifi
cate to teach.
Lindsborg itself is a pleasant. Ideal
college town. One could not think of a
place better suited for young, ambitious
students. The shaded streets, the
charming campus,the salubrious climate,
the absence of saloons and gambling
resorts, all tend to make the city safe
and inviting for the boys and girls of
the great Sunflower state.
Bethany is a large advertiser. The
college has a good thing to offer and
finds continually that it pays to let
the people know of it.
Dr. Swensson, the founder and presi
dent, was offered a fii-.e position in the
east, but has declined the call, and so
far that other college and seminary has ',
railed to "Roosevelt" him. Bethany has
in him an able, energetic and progres- j
sive executive. i
A young man -who never misses a
chance to joke has had an experience
that may keep him from trying any
more pranks fof awhile.
He went out of town a few days ago to
visit. He arrived at the house and the
servant girl opened the door.
"Is the lady of the bouse in?" asked
the young man.
"She is, sorr," said the daughter of
"Would you tell her I would like to see
"What does yez want uv her?
"I have in my grip here an assortment
of the finest Belgian hares direct from
California. Tell her I would like to dis
play my samples on the dining room ta-
' j I 1 1 y
i i ; u
ble. If you will let me I will prepare
my exhibit before she comes down."
"No yez doesn't put no rabbits on me
dinin' room table."
"But it will be all right."
"Faith and it won't be all right."
"Then tell her I wish to see her."
"And that I won't. We bars thrampa,
book agents and peddlers."
The young man talked but he could not
get in. Finally he tried to pass the girl
but she reached for a broom and he re
treated. He finally had to go to the
front of the yard to escape the broom
and halloo for the mistress of the house
before he could gain admittance.
Not long ago a Topeka man decided
that to be in style he would have to buy
a pair of dun colored horses.
A few days later a man drove up to
his place leading a pair of dun colored
horses. He offered them to the man ho
wanted fancy horses. The man lookt-d
them over critically. He boasts that he
is a wonderful judge of horse flesh. He
bought them at a good figure and then
bought a trap and a set of harness to
match the color of the team. Ten days
after he bought the horses he was out
driving and was caught in a rata. The
next day the horses were a shade lighter
and in a week were grays instead of
duns. They had been dyed. No one
dares to say dun colored horses to that
"I've seen a good deal of sport in my
life," said Ananias Fisher as he sat on
his back porch and smoked his favorite
corncob, "but I'll tell you a story about
sport that will beat anything you ever
heard of.
"It was in the fall of '58 that a party
of us went up in the country that is now
called Brown county, and we expected
to bring back a few wild turkeys. In
those days turkeys ran over the -country
just like chinch bugs do now. We
were all armed with shotguns and
rifles. We got up there all right, but
stayed three days and didn't see a tur
key. Hunters from the east passed
through and said that turkeys were
coming into their country in droves.
That meant they were traveling past
us. We investigated. That night we
happened to be on the bank of the river
near where we camped and we heard
something in the middle of the stream
that sounded like a turkey call. Well,
sir, do you know that the turkeys were
StS east by way of the river. All
the turke-s in that part of the coun
try haa heard that I was about the
greatest shot that ever was so they
thought of a scheme to get by us. They
had shoved logs out into the stream
and had gotten behind them, Iheir
bodies in the water and only their heads
sticking out behind the log for air.
Why. a hundred could go by that way
ar.d we would never know it. You say
you didn't know that turkeys liked
water? Well, they don't, but they iiked
it better than they did me and my gun.
Put we fixed them. We soaked a
clothesline in tallow, hung it across the
river, and when we saw- a log coming
down we lighted It. It hung so close
to the water that the turkeys couldn't
get under, and as the log wouldn't stop
they had to come ashore. They were
so wet they couldn't move, and we just
grabted them and wrung their necks.
Then wo would slack the line till it fed
in the water and the fire went out. ai.d
then we would pull it taut again, and
wait for the next log, and when we saw
it we would light the rope. That night
1 I
o. 3fr
Century Classics
EVERY KANSAN interested in Kansas Litera
ture, Kansas History, or Kansas Nature Study,
should subscribe for the Twentieth Century
Classics. Issued monthly, $1.00 per year, prepaid.
The following numbers can be furnished now
J. Ironquill Selections 96 pages.
2. James Henry Lane . .128 "
3. Wyandotte Folk Lore 120
4. Birds of Kansas -. . . 152
5. Kansas Poetry 128 "
6. Kansas Prose 152 "
7. Geological Story of Kansas.... 144 "
8. Territorial Governors of Kansas, 144
The best writers of our State have been engaged for futwre .
numbers. Send 10c for sample copy, prepaid.
Crane & Company,
WSin you think
Of that new
you think of
711 Kansas Avenue.
we kilted 897 turkeys in three hours.
That's what I call killing turkeys."
Xot long ago bids were called for by
a board for work to be done on a public
building. Topeka bidders all went
after it.
They figured close. All wanted the
contract. The day of the letting one of
the bidders went over his fisrures and
decided he had bid too low. He raised
his bid $100 to be safe. Another bidder
heard that an out of town contractor
who has a reputation for close bidding
was in town. He cut his bid an even
$100. That night the bids were opened.
The man who won it was the one who
had lowered Jnis bid. He was $20 under
the out of town man. The man who
raised his bid was just $90 higher than
the man who lowered his bid, or, in
other words, if he had not raised his
bid $100 he would have received the
"Never change your bid after you
have figured it out," said the man who
had raised hiB, after the contract was
"I wish I had changed mine," said the
man who lost by $20.
"I think it is always well to bid just
a little bit lower," said the man who
won. And those who did not under
stand wondered why their views were
so much different.
f From tbe Atchison Globe.
It is fortunate for most people that
salaries are not regulated by their use
of saw and seen.
A woman does not make as much of
her troubles as she might unless she
speaks of the "iron entering her soul."
The laziest man in every country town
rides to the depot at least once a day
w ith the driver of the hotel 'bus.
There seems to be as-little excuse for
some people as there is for weeds and
bugs; and they are as hard to get rid
The day after a girl gets her engage
ment ring, she goes down town with her
mother to look at muslins and embroid
eries. When it is necessary to test the sin
cerity of a church member's desire to do
good, she is sent out to solicit subscrip
tions for a church social.
When you give a boy a nickel, he us
ually reaches for it with his left hand,
and his mother says: "Which hand?"
and "What do you say?"
When a girl is away on a summer va
cation, the neighbors watch her lover as
severely as they do a widower whose
wife has just been laid away.
When a woman invites a neighbor to
go riding, she usually expects her to hold
the horse and mind the children while
she goes into the dry goods stores.
When the neighbors hear a woman
screaming more than usual to her child
ren, they know she has just scrubbed
the kitchen floor, and they are "tracking
When good people give a poor woman
a loaf of dry bread, they get together
and talk about her waste of butter, if
she has to toast it in order to be able to
eat it.
Speaking of honeymoons, an Atchison
mother is relating that while her daugh
ted was away on one, she sent a tele
gram home saying: "I love John, and
John loves me.".
There is no use talking: Atchison
princesses are not appreciated. In the
evenings when they put on their royal
robes (white dresses and blue sashes)
no one comes, so they get together and
go down to the library and back. By
the time a princess gets back, is it bed
From the Chicago News.
Two weak partners are seldom able
to make a business firm.
When suspicion enters the door love
goes out at the window.
Men like to be laughed at for their
wit, but not for their folly.
No man ever succeeded in making a
popular novel,
THE FIVE Best Selling
Books in July.
'The Reign of Law,"
Marie Corelli.
"Prisoners of Hope,"
"To Have and To Hold,"
"Redemption of
David Corson."
Any Book in This List
$1.20 net.
MOORE BookS(?co.
603 Kansas Avenue.
will that was satisfactory to all bis
The man who is given to self-praisa
owes an apology to his acquaintancea.
The wisdom of the sage is simply
the art of concealing his ignorance from
A polite bachelor alawys give up hla
seat in a crowded car to a widow of
long standing.
If you once get into the habit of
telling the truth you will tind it much
easier than lying.
The real proof of the pudding- is in
the state of your health the morning
after you have eaten it.
A St. Louis man claims to have the
lead pencil that Noah used in checking
off the animals as they entered the ark.
FTom the Philadelphia Record.
The nautical young man sometimes
comes to naught.
It seems strange, when you come to
think of it, that the watches that run
bpst have no legs.
Blobbs "He deserted society for tha
operatic stage." Slobbs "High-toned,
eh?" Blobbs "No; he's a basso."
"Turn about is fair play," says the
Manayunk Philosopher. "The fellow
who kills time will eventually And that
time will kill him."
Wigg "What an unusual summer
this has been." Wagg "Yes; we haven't
heard anything about the failure of the
Delaware peach crop."
No, Maude, dear, the females who
are seen going in the "ladiea' entrance"
are net always entrancing. This habit
will be the death of you yet.
"He says he loves me more than
tongue can tell," said the dreamy-eyed
girl. "What's the matter; is he tongue
tied?" snapped the girl with red hair.
"Your milk seems to be ell watered."
remarked the summer boarder, fa
cetiously. "Tain't no such a thing," re
torted the farmer landlord; "we don't
use well water. We've got a hydrant.'
"I don't like the similes in this ghost
story," remarked the magazine editor.
"Perhaps you can improve upon them."
said the author. "I think I can." sai'j
the editor; "here you say 'he melted
away into thin air.' Why not say 'he
melted away like a 50-pound lump of
icer "
The hot, perspiring days are here,
A grief to old and young;
The pompadours now lose their pom
And bangs will not stay bung!

xml | txt