The Topeka state journal. [volume], July 28, 1900, LAST EDITION, Editorial Section, Image 14

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
A HIGH TONES BTTTCHEB.
ill W
I S IS
Housewife: "Is the calf's liver fresh?"
Butcher (indignantly): "Fresh! Fresh! Let me tell you, ma'am. I slaugh
ter only calves with fresh livers!"
"THE YELLOW DEVIL."
New Tork World.
H Won.
"All right, then, we'll toss for it,"
said Tommy. "Here goes! You hol
ler. Heads or tails?"
"Very well," replied little Emer
son of Boston. "I prognosticate the
falling of the obverse uppermost."
Philadelphia Press.
ReasmriDg.
Nervous Lady Have you killed
many snakes around here this sum
mer? Farmer Hayseed No; I allers
leaves 'em for summer boarders to
kill. You'll find plenty o' sport,
mum. New York Weekly.
BLOOMERS FOOLED HIM.
i3 111
WHY DAUBER'S PICTURE WAS LEFT UNFINISHED.
Professor Bumps (very shortsighted): "Ladies and gentlemen, this young
man's head l?-iicates that !.e has no taste for domestic His. He will probably
be a great explorer or a sailor or a parson or a company promoter or something
t tht sort."
l I 1 a
' ' it
3 I 1 ' -4. -
A SIGN WORTH READING.
POINTED, IP HOT POLITE.
. uasiB; la
i Hi
Waggles: "Now, dere's der first sensible sign I've seen In a week." New York Evening Journal.
His Own Labor Trouble.
"Well, our labor troubles seem to
fce winding up."
"Yes; my wife said last night that
we are all done but one bedroom
and the back hall." Chicago Rec
ord. I
A Curiosity of Politics.
As far as man's memory reaches.
The honest historian notes
That the man who is longest on
speeches
Is often the shortest on votes.
Washington Star.
Good Advice to Ignore,
"How does it happen that you are
so successful In politics?"
"I act exactly contrary to the ad
vice given me by my political oppo
nents, and then I know I can't make
a mistake." Chicago Evening Post.
MAKES 'EM MOVE.
fflf m
4& m
1
U!&" ' "
- f -
"It's a shame to do dia, but I
Wants de seat meself."
"Head a little higher, miss, 'til I
press de button. So!"
"Yes, dey gen'ly moves when dey
thinks Johnny has bis camera."
Scribner'a,
Btout Party: "Now, boy, why don't you be perllte and get up and give on
of these young ladies a seat?"
Cheeky Boyt ''Not me! Why don't you get up and give them both a
seat?"
AS IT SEEMED TO EETJBEN.
3 TC-lrr...
1
: . ..Vf.-i
"It's a gol durn outright shame to let a little feller pull the whul durn con
cern!" Scribner's.
AN UNPLEASANT SUEPEISE.
Chicago Record.
A TRAGEDY.
Estelle: "Boo-hoo! Jlmmle said he'd commit suicide If I tnin him down,
an now. he's gone an did Itl" New; Xork Evening Journal,