The Topeka state journal. [volume], August 25, 1900, LAST EDITION, Editorial Section, Image 15

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
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TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, SATURDAY EVENING, AUGUST. 25. 1900.
I ' ' , 1.1 " ' " ' """" ' ' " ' . ' - ' '
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;UGHT- IS EIGHT."
i. "By'r lady, I do bethink me that these varlets cast revilings upon me!"
2. "I will to their midst and smite them with 'exceeding confinement' from
off the face of the landscape." ...
4
S. "In very sooth am I now gotten Into an ambuscado or -passing fair con-
4. "Abandon'd caitiffs, if ye do not on the instant restore me mine horse and
armor and free me from this durance vile, then, 'by the beard of my father, I
will Help!"
Below Coat.
"Joblotz boasts that business is
his only religion."
"Sort of pagan religion, I suppose.
He's continually offering sacrifices.'
Philadelphia Press.
A Generous Rival.
Dora What a quantity of rice
you threw after the bride!
Clara She'll need it before he gets
his salary raised. New Tort Weekly.
A GOOD MAN INDIGNANT.
Drunken Old Loafer: "There goes one o' them bloomin coves as Is a-mur-derin
ua Christyana in China." Judy.
WOULDN'T IT MAKE YOU MAD-
1
after you had seen Miss HIghtone coming down the
street '
and she had seemed surprised to see you carrying a
bundle - ,
A., ' "a riot W
f SCf& y)
-and you had explained that it contained valu if the string broke and your clean things from the laundry were
able papers which you could not intrust to any exposed to view? Wouldn't it JAR you?
New Tork Evening Journal.
one else -""
And Fin Himself Fnniolimt
McJIgger What do you think of
that Delaware mechanic who dis
covered the secret of perpetual mo
tion In a dream?
Thingumbob Oh, I suppose he'll
wake up some morning. Philadel
phia Press.
Of One Mind.
Mrs. Highmind I think this-betting
at races is perfectly abomina
ble! It's sinful! .It's wicked!
Mrs. De Good Indeed it is. My
husband always loses, and I haven't
had a new bonnet for three months.
New Tork Weekly.
Haa a Record.
"Has he ever run for office be
fore?" "Has he? Why, man, he has a
sprinting record in, that line that
simply cannot be matched. There
is nothing else that he will run for."
Chicago Post.
LIFE ! ON THE OCEAN WAVE.
"Here's your very good health, sir!"
Punch.
Bird of Pray.
"When it comes to hunting for ;
eouls," remarked the first heathen,
"most of these missionaries are :
birds." , - ,'
"So they are," replied the other; ;
"they're regular birds of pray."- ;
Philadelphia Record. - ':i
Where tlie Fanlt lar.
"But the gown doesn't fit," pro
tested the young woman.
"Doesn't fit!" exclaimed the mo
diste. "And .do you blame me for
that? The gown is perfect. It is
your figure that is at fault." Chi
cago Post.
. Deaf.
Vicar But surely the voice of
conscience appeals to you some
times? Deaf Old Reprobate Maybe it
does, sir; but, then, you see, I'm
rather hard of hearing. New York
. World. "
MR. SPLASHER ,WAS SORBAIERWARD.
cv ?
? ,r. ifi i .-; J- , .. . , . j 'i,
- i?,i,1f.,!f..T81
1
Mr. Splasher Guess this shutter
needs a little whitewash.
Mrs. S. Thought I heard some
one rapping.
1 ! t II
New Tork Evening Journal.
OLD WAR GOD IS ASTONISHED.
'
Mars: "Gee whiz! Mother Earth seems to be having all kinds of troubla
at once." New Tork Evening Journal. .
" " - Knjoyment.
"Do you enjoy reading Dickens?"
"Very much," answered Miss Cay
1 enne. "His works contain so many
odd and villainous characters to
whom it is a pleasure to compare
one's enemies." Washington Star.
The Return Trip.
"Will you have plenty of fresh
fruit at that farm where you gp,
Alice ?'
"Yes; Arthur says he will bring a
big basketful every night." Detroit
Free Press. -
ONE MAN'S MEAT ANOTHER'S POISON.
:
New York World.
PEEPOSTESOUS!
FT)-'4" "
IS Jm$ & Mips
Jimmie: "De idear of people payin money ter go to a teeayter when dej;
kin see such dancin as dat fer auttln!" New Tor- Evening Journal,