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TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, THURSDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 25, 1900
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL EV FRANK P. MAC tENNAJJ. VOLUME XXVII No. 256 TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily ecition, delivered v carrier, 30 cents a weeK to any part of Topeka or suburbs, or at the sime price In any Kan sas town where the paper kaa a carrier system. JSy mail, one year " S Ky mail, three months "Weekly edition, one year.... PERMANENT HOME. Topeka State Journal building. 8fl0 and Sea Kansas avenue, corner o Eighth. XEW YORK OFFICE. Temple Court Bldg. A. Frank Richardson. Mgr. CHICAGO OFFIOK. Stock Exchange Bldg. A. Frank Richardson, Met. LONDON OFFICE. 12 Red Lion Court, Fleet Street. TELEPHONES. Business Office Bell 'Phone "!01 Reporters' Room. Bell 'Phono 677 Two weeks from this time some of the election forecasts will look like 30 cents. Both parties are hoping to sing "Mary land, my Maryland" after election. Sweden appears to have reached the point when she has more business than she has money to carry on. Mr. Cleveland's latest bulletin regardr lng his political status, leaves the guess r more in the dark than ever. "When the voters receive their ballots on election day, they will discover who is running for congress in their dis trict. The new election law in Kentucky has (een signed by the governor but It does r.ot become effective until after the next election. A copy of the Topeka registration books might be sent to Director of the Census Merriam, just as an evidence of good faith. Governor Candler thinks the time has arrived for Georgia to do a little busi ness in the way of disfranchising- the colored citizens. Newspaper readers, who are not inter ested in politics, of whom there are not many, will be especially glad when the election is over. Just to show that election forecasts sre not convincing, it might be pointed out that campaigners on both sides are working harder than ever. When so many people turn out to hear Mr. Stevenson, that they can't all get into the liouF?. there can no longer be said to be apathy in the campaign. Governor Roosevelt charges that Col T'.ryan is not "toting fair" in the matter of disfranchisement of voters in various parts of the Vnited States domain. On behalf of China, Prince Ching and Li Kung Chang acknowledge that she ought not have done it. If the powers are wilting to take their pay In cash all may yet be well. Mr. Dooley: An' so it goes Croker an" Carl Schoortz, Altgeld an" Olney, Rosen felt an' Quay, Carlisle an" Stewart. "What's a plain, foolish an' thoughtless man like mesilf to do? Sure, they ought to have wan place f r a citizen to vote f'r his principles an' another to vote fr his candydate. The man in Knightstown who will not vote for McKinley because the rates of interest on mortgages have fallen so de cidedly and mortgages become so scarce that the business is no longer profitable has a eenuino reason for his defection. Indianapolis Journal. Isn't it about time this individual were permanently located somewhere? He has already appeared In Kansas, Ne braska, and "Wyoming and the returns are not yet all in. The total cost of the Pan-American Imposition which is to open In BufTalo. May 1, ,1901, is estimated at $10,000,000, and the chairman of the executive com mittee says that $6,000,000 is already in hand, or secured. Nearly five thousand workmen are now employed, and the work of construction is proceeding with all possible speed. The Exposition grounds are half a mile wide and a mile and a Quarter long, comprising 350 acres. A singular British custom is that which permits a man to vote wherever he ha3 a certain amount of property or pays a. certain rent. The elections are scattered over a number of days, in or der that such men may vote In different constituencies. In the general election of 1S95, the man who had the greatest number of votes was a Mr. "West, who was entitled to vote in 21 counties, and, although he was SI years old, managed to vote in 17 of them. In the elections which have just taken place the man with the greatest number of votes was a Mr. Baxendale, who had 43. He Is eald to have taken so little interest in politics that it is doubtful whether he cast even one vote. Springfield Republican: Forecasts of the election based on straw votes, par tial polls of fractional voting precincts end other fragmentary tests are as thick as falling leaves just at this time and It may be said of all of them that they are mere guesses. The most elaborate of the current reviews of the situation is given by the New Tork Herali. which concludes that a landslide is forming in favor of the Republican ticket, giving it a larger electoral vote than it had in 1SH6 2S.2 for McKinley and 165 for Bry an, against 271 and ITS respectively four years ago. This review concedes Ken tucky to the Democrats, but claims all of the othei- doubtful states for McKin ley. Neverthelesa it is admitted that several cf them are very doubtful, and rone more so than Illinois, which gave McKinley nearly 150,000 plurality in 1S'j6. Kven if the Democratic electors fail there, it is said that the Democratic rtate ticket may win. That does not point to much of a landslide. It is still a. wavering contest, with an unusually large silent vote, which will go nobody can tell how. But the betting and the juessing are predominantly Republican. GLOBS SIGHTS. fFrom the Atchison Globe. People who laugh the loudest are the least apt to know what they axe laugh ing at. Some people have so little business that the carrying of a message swells them up. An Atchison young man is called "Lily" by his acquaintances, because he toils not. Nearly every man believes he is the only person living who can tell you all about real work. Every man who goes to a dentist's office determines to have hia teeth ex amined every month, but never does it. "Every day of my life," said a pale, dyspeptic looking man today. "I eat cheese." Tea, and that's what the matter with him. What a man says about the smart ness of his baby, is about as reliable an what a candidate says about the patriotism of his party. Considerable sympathy is felt for an Atchison neighborhood where a young woman resides who has just been graduated in piano playing. Did you ever remark that a locomo tive attached to a passenger train has a more important whistle than a loco motive attached to a freight .train? Wi never knew but . one man who told the truth about a hunting trip: A. W. Stevens, who recently spent two days at Bean lake, and says.alj he got was a crow and a mud hen. ' A continued story in a magaaine Is like a popular man: it is exploited awhile in the first pages, with many pictures, but later on it appears in the back pages without pictures. "When a man is in love with a woman, he tells her so: when a woman is in love with a man, she keeps it from him so long that he becomes doubtful, and sometimes disgusted that his atten tions receive so little return. It is said the reason the same faces are seen at every afternoon reception is that three Atchison women have a reception list, and when the other wo men give a reception they borrow one of the lists and invite every one on it. People are so often abused for fail ure to rave over alleged beautiful things that are not beautiful. People rarely fail to appreciate genuine worth and beauty it is never necessary to abuse people for failure to appreciate a rose. The people who are unfair in their business methods, are never properly disciplined: if a grocer disciplines a customer who violates all the decent rules of business, the customer goes to another grocer and is given to under stand that he has been treated in an outrageous manner. Servant girls are getting harder to please every day. An Atchison wo man's cook does not like to be dis turbed before 7:30 in the morning, and as the woman's husband has to go to work at 7, the woman tip-toes around and gets breakfast early with out disturbing her cook. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. The best way to kill time is by hard work. Each rose haa its thorn; each foun tain its mud. Courtship may be blisa, but marriage sometimes blisters. The wise teacher never attempts to teach more than he knows. Every time the grocer sells a pound of sugar he gives it a-weigh. The church with the highest steeple Isn't always the nearest heaven. A schoolboy wants to know how many square rods It takes to make a wise acre. There Isn't much difference between animals eating grass and grass-eating animals. A pebble in a state of circumgyration acquires not the lichen of rural vegeta tion. A doctor is a man who kills you today in order to save you the troubla of dying tomorrow. A woman may be a friend of the man she never loved, but she will be an enemy of the man she loved and lost. To encounter a banana peel on the sidewalk is a sign that the hoodooed person will shortly encounter the side walk. A St. Louis man, being requested by his wife to bring home the latest pattern sheet, astonished the clerk by asking for the latest pattern for a sheet. QUAKES REFLECTIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. No one need hope to shake the hand of fate. The latest developments can be found in the gymnasium. A fever has to be pretty high for a fellow not to get over it. The made-up complexion la seldom what it's cracked up to be. The discreet business man sella every thing but his customers. As a rule the star's farewell perform ances are much adieu about nothing. There's a difference between having something to say and having to say something. Sillicus "I believe in a man having his joke." Cynicus "So do I and keep ing it." "Are these socks all wool?" asked the customer. "I er don't think so," re plied the new clerk; "they're marked on the box half hose.' " "Don't judge by appearances." says the Manayunk Philosopher. "The spoon is an insignificant looking article, but it has caused more stir than anything else." He wooed her with a will. As he was 87 and it was made out in her favor, don't waste any time working up sym pathy for the suitor, dear reader. He won out. hands down. "Are you perfectly sure this milk is free from germs?" asked the careful housekeeper. "Yes, lady," replied the milkman, confidentially; "we boil every drop of water that goes into it." When you can riot sleep for cottghing, it is hardiy necessary that any one should tell yu that you reed a few doses of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to allay the irri.ati-m of the throat, an.l m-ke sleep possible. It is good. Try it. For sale by all druggists. 00GAINEDRUNKS. Topeka Police Hare a New Dis sipation to Contend With. People Who Use Cocaine as an Intoxicant. WRECKS THE MIND. Exhilarates at First But Ends in Collapse. Stores Do a Big Business in the Drug. A form of dissipation that is growing in Topeka is the use of cocaine. It is not generally known, but it Is a fact that the worst form of drunken ness that the Topeka police have to con tend with is the cocaine drunk. In this city there are more habitual users of cocaine who are brought before the po lice judge than there are habitual whisky drunkards. The use of cocaine is becoming general and any druggist will tell you that it is in constant demand by people who are continually under its influence. In the south there are drug stores where one half of the Income is from the sale of cocaine. It 13 used by the negroes be cause they can get on a drunk with cocaine much cheaper than they can with whisky and It is more lasting in its effect. Cocaine is an alkaloid obtained from Erythroxylon Coca and is used by the physicians as a local anesthetic. It has a soothing effect when taken internally and makes one feel very benevolent un less taken in large doses when it has the same effect as the vilest kind of whisky. A cocaine fiend is not nervous as the steady drinker is, but his hands and arms will jerk and with continued use of the drug the mind is invariably ruined and the fiend becomes insane. It is taken by making a solution of about one per cent and then snuffing up the nostril. It is also injected and is taken with wine. The local Sends gen erally snuff it up the nostril, but there have been cases in the jail where the cocaine fiend used it just as morphine is used in hypodermic injections. It will also be news to the public that there have been cocaine joints in the city where people addicted to its use could go and enjoy themselves much as the Chinese do in an opium joint. Sev eral of the women who have been under the charge of Mrs. Thorpe have told her that there were places where they could go and enjoy themselves in this manner. The use of the drug seems to be more popular with the women than the men, and it Is well known by the police that a great majority of the women of the street use it. During the past two months two young men have been sent to the asylum be cause they had destroyed their minds by the use of the drug. There is without doubt one hundred habitual cocaine users in the city of Topeka and a num ber of them will soon follow in the foot steps of the young men. There is no law against the sale of the drug and any one who applies at a drug store can get it. The sale should be re stricted so that it could be obtained only on the prescription of a physician. COXGER TO GO AHEAD. United States Minister Has Full Au thority to Open Negotiations. Washington, Oct. 25. Minister Conger has been authorized by his government to begin negotiations at once with the Chinese envoys on the basis of the points in the German and French notes upon which all of the powers are agreed. Upon these points where divergence of views has been found to exist, the gov ernment of the powers themselves will negotiate with a view to reaching a fur ther understanding. It is understood that the ministerial representatives at Pekin of the other powers have similar instructions, but whether they have or not Mr. Conger is not to be restrained. The Berlin statement this morning that Germany has agreed to Japan's proposals that peace negotiations with China shall for the present be entrusted to the foreign representatives at Pekin is regarded here as an indication that Germany has taken similar action in the case of Minister Munn von Sehwartzen stein. Some surprise is expressed here at the insistence by some of the powers upon a settlement of the question of the suffi ciency of c redentials of the Chinese en voys at this point. It is stated that it i3 the invariable practice in peace nego tiations to allow the plenipotentiaries themselves to pass upon the credentials of the envoys, which invariably is de ferred until the first meeting of the plen ipotentiaries. COLORADO EL YE It. Via "Great. Rock Island Route." Leaves Topeka 8:10 p. m., arriving Colorado Springs 10:35, Denver 11:00 o'clock next a. m. Everybody (to stout party in the ro:d) "Hi, Grover! Come Quick' OFF FOR DENTER. Washburns Leave For Their Satur day's Game. The Washburn football team left at noon today over the Santa Fe for Den ver to meet the team of the Denver Athletic club Saturday. For several years the Washburn team has been playing the D. A. C. and have won and lost games. The team that goes to the mountains this year Is the strongest the college has sent out. A delegation of Washburn rooters accom panied the team to the train. Manager Huron and the following players make up the party: Hitchcock, left end; Captain Hughes, left tackle; Clark, left guard; Dadisman, center; White, right guard; Gill, right tackle; Banks, right end; Owens, quar ter; Roberts, left half; Moore, right half; Mehl, full. Substitutes: "Stub" Clark, R. Stewart, J. Stewart and Read. A RECORD BREAKER. Chicago Republicans Expect a Mon ster Parade on Saturday. Chicago, Oct. 23. The sound money pa rade Saturday promises to be the grand est pageant of its kind ever witnessed in the west. Men from all walks of busi ness and commercial life will participate, and pledges of marchers already received malce the prospect of 100 000 paraders high ly probable. The streets of the city will be gay with bunting, with the national colors predominating. There will be visi tors from the east. The renowned Amer icus club of Pittsburg, two hundred strong, will be the guests of the Hamil ton club, by whom they will be escorted in the line. The famous Tippecanoe club of 1840 will ride in carriages. Occupants of office buildings will represent their re spective sky scrapers by divisions in the parade. Banks, business houses, factories, mills, wholesale establishments, the clear ing house, board of trade, and in all like lihood the Stock Exchange will close for the day. INTO NEW QUARTERS. Southwestern Fuel Company Secures a Fine Location. The Southwestern Fuel Co. has leased the eligible room at 734 Kansas avenue, in the Davies building, at the northeast corner of Eighth. A new front entrance will be arranged and the entire ground floor beautifully fitted up to form a handsome suite of offices. Mr. W. E. Thomas, the president and treasurer of the company, believes that business is tending southward on Kan sas avenue, and having an opportunity to secure this good location, made a long lease for the premises. He is the prin cipal stockholder of the company, and has been with the concern for eight years. Under his administration the amount of coal business done has grown to mammoth proportions. The wholesale and retail business from the Topeka office will amount to $1,000,000 annually. Mr. P. J. Morgan is the efficient man ager and assistant treasurer. There are three branch offices: one at Omaha, one at Leavenworth, and one at Kansas City. The aggregate business of the four offices will amount to about $2,000,000. The office force at Topeka numbers nine. The trade supplied from this office in addition to the local retail business covers the supplies for coal companies all over Kansas and for the branch offices at Omaha, Leavenworth and Kansas City. The company is sale3 agent for the Mt. Carmel coal, whose mines are at Frontenac, Marceline, and in Osage county. Anthracite, Arkansas and Colorado coals are also handled as well as coke and sand. LAWS FOR CITIES. Mayor Drew and Attorney Bird Will Discuss Them "With Others. Mayor Drew and City Attorney Bird will go to Kansas City tomorrow where they will attend the meeting of the city attorneys who are members of the muni cipal league. The object of the meeting is to prepare bills which will be presented to the Muni cipal League at the meeting which will be held in this city the first week in De cember. The bills that are accepted by the league will be presented to the legis lature this winter. The object of the Municipal League is to secure legislation needed in the cities of the first class. INTO WISCONSIN. Adlai Stevenson Finishes Hia Michi gan Campaign. Chicago, Oct. 25. Adlai Stevenson, Democratic candidate for vice president, returned from Michigan today and after a visit to national headquarters left for Plattville, Wis., where he will speak to night. He will speak at Milwaukee to morrow night and return to Chicago on Saturday in time to participate in. the reception to be given him by the Iroquois club that afternoon. DEATHS AND FUNERALS. The funeral of Peter Gayhart will be held from the residence, 125 West Twenty-second street, tomorrow after noon at 2 o'clock. Burial will be In the Topeka cemetery. The body of Mrs. Hannah Pickaid, mother of Mrs. George M. Herrick, who died at the home of President Herrick of Washburn, was sent to Lena, 111., this afternoon for burial. The funeral was held at the residence this afternoon at 1:30. Gertrude Frost, the eight-year-old child of Mr. and Mrs. William Frost, of Fifteenth and Washington streets, died this morning. The funeral will be held at the residence tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock. Burial will be In the Ritchie cemetery. VAST AUDIENCE Greets Col. Bryan on His En trance Into New Jersey. Washington Park, N. J., Oct. 25. Mr. Bryan crossed the Delaware and touched New Jersey soil at 12:10 today at this point. He remained In his carriage, but the people surged about him in vast num. bers. He shook hands with every one who could get to him. When the boat touched the wharf and from there to the speak ers' stand the ovation was pronounced. Mr. Bryan spoke in Washington Park. He said In part: "I do not know whether I can make my self heard over this vast audience, but it is. very gratifying to have an oppor tunity to meet so many of the people in such a short time to pass judgment on the issues before the country. I only re gret that my time and strength are not sufficient for me to come into contact with every voter and defend our cause in every part of this country. I am confi dent that we are right and it is my faith in the ultimate triumph of that which is right, as well as my observation that make me believe that we are bound to win this fight. I can not believe that the American people. Intelligent and patriotic, can give their support to the policies for which the Republican party now stands. If any Republican asks you why we spend our time discussing the new ques tions," you reply that our position on the old questions is known and our reasons are known." Mr. Bryan then devoted himself to an elaboration of the charges of inconsis tency on the part of the Republican party. In the campaign of 1806, he said Mr. McKinley had as a candidate said that he would "open the mills instead of the mints," and the first thing he did, said Mr. Bryan, "was to place on the statutes a tariff measure which was intended to allow the tariff barons to get back the money which they had expended in the campaign." The question of trusts had especial attention, and almost every sentiment was applauded to the echo. Mr. Bryan said: "I read the other day of the forma tion of, a milk trust. Think of it. A milk trust to meet the infant when he comes into the world, and when the In fant grows into manhood the coal trust looks after him in the winter time and the ice trust in the summer time, and the coffin trust waits for him at the bottom of the hill when life's fitful dream is over." Referring to his remedy, requiring a state license for trusts, Mr. Bryan said he would shut up a corporation in the state of its origin until it can show that it is going into other states on a peaceful mission and not as a highway man. Taking up the question of the increase of the standing army, Mr. Bryan said: "If the president knew when he en tered upon his policy it meant a large army and war and bloodshed, then he acted deliberately, and the case is worse than supposed." In connection he said that tne Kepuo licana contend that the constitution can not be stretched outside the United States, while the president can stretch himself all over the globe until it gets to be all president and no constitution." LOCAjL MENTION. Frank S. Thomas left today for Chi cago to attend the final meeting of the Democratic state central committee. The federal court has not completed its session in Leavenworth, but all the federal officers from this city have come home. The heating apparatus in the city building will be given another test this afternoon. If it proves successful the building committee will make its report tomorrow. The registration at noon today was 9, 721. There is no question but that it will pass the 10,000 mark as the last day has always been the largest, never being less than 400. H. P. Farrelly, Fusion candidate for attorney general, and S. J. Kent, labor commissioner of Nebraska, will address the Fusion meeting at the Grand Opera House tonight. There was no session of the police court this morning. The case against George Klauer for selling liquor will come up this afternoon and the case against H. Dowling for the same of fense will be called tomorrow. Councilman Elliott, who is chairman of the streets and walks committee, went out on Walnut and Piercy streets where the grading and paving is being done to see the people who were complaining of the lines. He succeeded in adjusting and explaining matters to the satisfaction of all the residents and the work will now proceed without any further delay. The case against George Dupree, who was arrested charged with running a policy game, has been settled. Dupree put up a cash bond of $10 which he will forfeit. This arrangement was made be cause the city did not consider the case Btrong enough to fight, the complaining witness having left the city. This is an other example of suppressing gambling. A gambling house was raided last week and the proprietor escaped with a fine of $10 "because the case was not strong enough." It doesn't take a married man long to discover that when the cook expects company the dinner is always better. Chicago Record. MADE A TOURIST AGENT. Topeka Man Guide For Rock Island Tourist Excursions. One of the four tourist agents that will be in charge of the Rock Island's personally conducted tourist excursions thafrwill be run weekly between Boston, Mass., Califoria and Puget Sound points, will be Charles Phillips of To peka. Mr. Phillips is in the passenger department office here. These excursions go through the west by the far famed scenic route. These personally conducted tours have proven very popular. There is a possibility that another popular Rock Island office em ploye will be appointed a tourist agent for one of the other trains also. In crossing the continent in charge of these trains, about a week is consumed each way, with a two day layoff at either end. This makes the position of conductor or tourist guide a very con genial one. MEN FOR M' ARTHUR. Two Thousand Recruits to Go For ward Next Month. New Tork, Oct 25. Colonel Kimball, assistant quartermaster general of the United States army, announced today that 2.000 recruits will leave for the Phil ippines in the next three weeks. The first 1.000 will leave on the transport Buford on November 5. The second transport carrying the other 1,000 will be the Kilpatrick, which will leave on November 10. The recruits on the Buf ord will be in command of Colonel Jacob Kline of the Twenty-first infantry, and those on the Kilpatrick by Colonel Tully McCreary. EASTERN STAR OFFICERS. Grand Lodge Will Meet In Sioux City Next Year. Des Moines, la., Oct, 25. The grand lodge of the Order of the Eastern Star for Iowa elected officers today as fol lows: Mrs. Fred A. Oppenheimer, Webster City, worthy grand matron. A. J. Small, Des Moines.grand matron. Mrs. Jane Weber, Cherokee, associate grand matron. Dr. J. C. W. Cox, Washington, associ ate grand patron. Mrs. Maria Jackson. Council Bluffs, grand secretary. The next annual convention will be held in Sioux City. The change in the constitution reducing delegations from each chapter so as to number two in stead of three, was reported upon favor ably by the committee, but was defeated in the convention. Work of Abstinence Union. The officers of the Twentieth Century Total Abstinence union, of which Miss Olive P. Bray is president and Mrs. L. E. Thorpe, city police matron, is vice president, are preparing a new leaflet showing the progress of the movement during the first six months of its ex istence. The new movement is a total abstinence crusade which works, not by meetings, but by the personal efforts of the members. Each active member agrees to endeavor to secure three new active members within thirty days. Attention Post 71 O. A. R. The members of Topeka nost No. 71, G. A. It., will assemble athe hall to morrow at 1 o'clock p. m. sharp, to at tend the funeral of Comrade Peter Gay hart. Funeral at 2 o'clock p. m., from residence, 125 West Twenty-second street. All comrades and corps invited. Car from transfer station for those with out conveyances. DANIEL WARREN, Commander. G. BEDELL, Adjutant. Universal Wage Scale. Pittsburg, Oct. 25. The national associa tion of bridge and KtrurturaJ iron work ers in session here today adopted a uni versal scale fixing the rate on wages at fifty cents an hour with eight hours as a day's work. The scale will go into ef fect next May. It was also decided to nd an organizer to Bouth Africa and Egypt to organize structural iron workers In those countries. Curtis at Valley Falls. Congressman Charles Curtis will speak in Valley Falls on the evening of Saturday, October 27. Jackson's band will be taken to furnish the music for the occasion. A special coach has been engaged for the band and all others who desire to go. The train will leave Topeka at about 4 o'clock and will return after the speech. Robbed Nickel Flate Depot. Vermillion, O., Oct. 25. Three un known masked men entered the Nickel Plate depot early today, bound the agent and robbed the safe of several hundred dollars. Sims Reeves Dead. London, Oct. 25. Sims Reeves, the veteran English singer, died today at Worthington, Sussex. HUMOR OF THE DA Y. "Against these hideous Belgian hares," now states in great dejection Our home-grown Bunny, "I would like to beg my friends' protection." Indianapolis Journal. Miss Yellow-leaf (coyly) I never saw any one act so foolish as Mr. Sophtie when he's alone with a girl. Miss Peppery Alonewith a girl! How could you ever see him under such cir cumstances? Philadelphia Times. "Are you an out-and-out patriot?" asked the earnest citizen. "Well," answered Senator Sorghun "I'm a patriot; but I'm not an out-and out one. What I'm looking for is to gel my innings." Washington Star. "Fine, patriotic fellow, that Watklns' When he heard of the Chinese war he cut off the heads of ail his prize chick ens." "What had they to do with it?" "They were Shanghais." Buffalo News. The nervous young man backed into the nearest chair. The fair girl glared at him. "Tou're a bird!" Bhe cried sar castically. "Why er what?" he gasped. "Tou're on my hat!" she fairly screamed. Jackson The baby's getting more like its mother every day. Johnson That so? Jackson Tes: it's learning to talk. Indianapolis Sun. Rose Let's play keeping house! Maisie All right. Pretend you're a lady and I'm calling on you. Rose That'll be fun. Now sit down and ask me how I like my new cook. Tit-Bita. Fltznoodle (to gamekeeper) When I was in Australia I shot the biggest kan garoo the natives said they ever saw. Gamekeeper Kindeed, sir! What was you a-haimin' at? Tit-Bita Customer1 Some crabs, please. Waiter Shirtwaist or hunting caseT Customer What do you mean? Waiter Soft or hard shell, sir? Puck. Artist Will you permit me to palnl that boat of yours? EXMSBSI ALL TIIISWEEK. First-class rianos.in choice new styles, In most handntme Hungar ian Walnut, Amrical Burl Walnut, San Domingo Mahojny, English Oak and Golden Oak. Rich Piano Scarf and Stools display. AU Prices Marked in Rain Figures on AU Slyle Piease pive us a call whether yon want a J'iano or not, r whether you may want one in a yar or five years from the present tune. HUB OF THE UNIVERSE." A fine, late, two-ste-p gVen to all visitors during the exhibit i Our Salesroom Will Be Open Every Evening This Week. Pianos For Rent Both New and Second'Hind. E. B. Guild Music Co. Crawford Opera House Building. The Other You can tar 'er if ye like she don't want no paint. Gaiety. Mrs. Gadabout That Mrs. Hardhead next door doesn't seem to have many friends. Hostess (wearily) No; I wonder how she manages it? Tid-Bi ta ller father "And I s'pose you expert If I ocnsellt to let you have my fi;iu;lilfr that 1 will set you up in buslm-m una make you rich?" Mr. Stipliigh "No. I rnl!y haven't liny such extravagant ex M'eta.i tons an that. I'm willing to take her .lust for uiy board and clothes." j?paro Moments. "A sail!" shouted the lucknut, The admiral knit Id brown. "1 hope it's the enemy!" he muttered. "I have enouah powiier to tit-'ht a battle, but not enough to fire a saline!" With this he folded Ids arms und .loom ily contemplated the horlsoii. Indianapo lis Journal. Mrs. Nttgshy (impatiently rulUnn i Nor i drop everything at once and come to me! Nora Yes, ma'am. Mrs. NaKsby Now, what' the buby crying for? Nora 'Cause I dropped him, ma'm. Glasgow Kvenlng limes. It Happened in a Drug Store. "One day lHt wlnfr a lady mm to mv drug store and asked for a brand of cough medicine that 1 did not have In pIoik." sav Mr. ('. H. Qrandln, the popular drug gist of Ontario. N. Y. "She was disap pointed and wanted to know what ruiiKh preparation I could recommend. I mid to her that I could freelv recommend Chamberlain's Cough Itenu-tly. und th:it she could take a bottle of the remedy m'cI Kfter giving it a lair trial If sh dal not find it worth the money to btlna bac k the bottle and I would refund the prtcw faid. In the course of a clay or two itr adv came back In company with a friend in need of a courh medicine and ndvined her to buy a bottle of Chamberlain' Cough Remedy. 1 consider that a very good recommendation for the remedy." It is for sale by all UrugHlsin. A social dance will be given at K. I, hall October 25. Admittance, 25 rents per couple. Extra ladies, 10 cent Calkins' orchestra. Oven thermometers at t hus. Bennett's optical store. 7;i0 Kansns avenue. "Mr. Freshlelgh," said the business man to hia clerk, "I wish you would takf this bill and try to collect it." "No soon er said than dun," murmured Mr.Fresh lelgh. THURSDAY, Oct. 25. Fred Raymonds's greatest Scetilo Production of the Age "OLD ARKANSAW." An eclipse of all former scenic pro ductions. Prices: 2,r)C, 35c, 60c, 75c. FRIDAY, Oct. 20. New York's Favorite Comedian, John T. Swartwnod. and pretty Theresa Belmont-Walters in the de lightfully funny Farce. "WHERE IS COBB?" A comedy with a plot. Prices: 75c, 60o, Sic, 2.",o, 2 PKRI'ORMANCES 2 Matinee and Saturday Night, Oct. 27. A 20th Century Jubilee. "The Irish Rough Riders." 3D FARCE COMEDY FTAI18-30 Ladies and Children's Matinee. Prices: Children, 10 cents; adults 23 cents. SPECIAL See the parade at noon of the Rough Riders and the Jovial Jolly Jacks. MONDAY, Oct. 29. WOOD & WARDS Jolly Jingling Farce "Two Merry Tramps." An Indian Ragtime Operatic Com edy in three acta. A Refined Comedy. Prices: 76c, 50o, 3e and 25 o.