TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL, THURSDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 25, 1900
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL
EV FRANK P. MAC tENNAJJ.
VOLUME XXVII No. 256
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily ecition, delivered v carrier, 30
cents a weeK to any part of Topeka or
suburbs, or at the sime price In any Kan
sas town where the paper kaa a carrier
JSy mail, one year " S
Ky mail, three months
"Weekly edition, one year....
Topeka State Journal building. 8fl0 and
Sea Kansas avenue, corner o Eighth.
XEW YORK OFFICE.
Temple Court Bldg.
A. Frank Richardson. Mgr.
Stock Exchange Bldg.
A. Frank Richardson, Met.
12 Red Lion Court, Fleet Street.
Business Office Bell 'Phone "!01
Reporters' Room. Bell 'Phono 677
Two weeks from this time some of the
election forecasts will look like 30 cents.
Both parties are hoping to sing "Mary
land, my Maryland" after election.
Sweden appears to have reached the
point when she has more business than
she has money to carry on.
Mr. Cleveland's latest bulletin regardr
lng his political status, leaves the guess
r more in the dark than ever.
"When the voters receive their ballots
on election day, they will discover who
is running for congress in their dis
trict. The new election law in Kentucky has
(een signed by the governor but It does
r.ot become effective until after the next
A copy of the Topeka registration
books might be sent to Director of the
Census Merriam, just as an evidence of
Governor Candler thinks the time has
arrived for Georgia to do a little busi
ness in the way of disfranchising- the
Newspaper readers, who are not inter
ested in politics, of whom there are not
many, will be especially glad when the
election is over.
Just to show that election forecasts
sre not convincing, it might be pointed
out that campaigners on both sides are
working harder than ever.
When so many people turn out to hear
Mr. Stevenson, that they can't all get
into the liouF?. there can no longer be
said to be apathy in the campaign.
Governor Roosevelt charges that Col
T'.ryan is not "toting fair" in the matter
of disfranchisement of voters in various
parts of the Vnited States domain.
On behalf of China, Prince Ching and
Li Kung Chang acknowledge that she
ought not have done it. If the powers
are wilting to take their pay In cash all
may yet be well.
Mr. Dooley: An' so it goes Croker an"
Carl Schoortz, Altgeld an" Olney, Rosen
felt an' Quay, Carlisle an" Stewart.
"What's a plain, foolish an' thoughtless
man like mesilf to do? Sure, they ought
to have wan place f r a citizen to vote
f'r his principles an' another to vote fr
The man in Knightstown who will not
vote for McKinley because the rates of
interest on mortgages have fallen so de
cidedly and mortgages become so scarce
that the business is no longer profitable
has a eenuino reason for his defection.
Isn't it about time this individual were
permanently located somewhere? He
has already appeared In Kansas, Ne
braska, and "Wyoming and the returns
are not yet all in.
The total cost of the Pan-American
Imposition which is to open In BufTalo.
May 1, ,1901, is estimated at $10,000,000,
and the chairman of the executive com
mittee says that $6,000,000 is already in
hand, or secured. Nearly five thousand
workmen are now employed, and the
work of construction is proceeding with
all possible speed. The Exposition
grounds are half a mile wide and a mile
and a Quarter long, comprising 350 acres.
A singular British custom is that
which permits a man to vote wherever
he ha3 a certain amount of property or
pays a. certain rent. The elections are
scattered over a number of days, in or
der that such men may vote In different
constituencies. In the general election
of 1S95, the man who had the greatest
number of votes was a Mr. "West, who
was entitled to vote in 21 counties, and,
although he was SI years old, managed
to vote in 17 of them. In the elections
which have just taken place the man
with the greatest number of votes was
a Mr. Baxendale, who had 43. He Is
eald to have taken so little interest in
politics that it is doubtful whether he
cast even one vote.
Springfield Republican: Forecasts of
the election based on straw votes, par
tial polls of fractional voting precincts
end other fragmentary tests are as thick
as falling leaves just at this time and
It may be said of all of them that they
are mere guesses. The most elaborate
of the current reviews of the situation is
given by the New Tork Herali. which
concludes that a landslide is forming in
favor of the Republican ticket, giving it
a larger electoral vote than it had in
1SH6 2S.2 for McKinley and 165 for Bry
an, against 271 and ITS respectively four
years ago. This review concedes Ken
tucky to the Democrats, but claims all
of the othei- doubtful states for McKin
ley. Neverthelesa it is admitted that
several cf them are very doubtful, and
rone more so than Illinois, which gave
McKinley nearly 150,000 plurality in 1S'j6.
Kven if the Democratic electors fail
there, it is said that the Democratic
rtate ticket may win. That does not
point to much of a landslide. It is still
a. wavering contest, with an unusually
large silent vote, which will go nobody
can tell how. But the betting and the
juessing are predominantly Republican.
fFrom the Atchison Globe.
People who laugh the loudest are the
least apt to know what they axe laugh
Some people have so little business
that the carrying of a message swells
An Atchison young man is called
"Lily" by his acquaintances, because
he toils not.
Nearly every man believes he is the
only person living who can tell you all
about real work.
Every man who goes to a dentist's
office determines to have hia teeth ex
amined every month, but never does it.
"Every day of my life," said a pale,
dyspeptic looking man today. "I eat
cheese." Tea, and that's what the
matter with him.
What a man says about the smart
ness of his baby, is about as reliable
an what a candidate says about the
patriotism of his party.
Considerable sympathy is felt for an
Atchison neighborhood where a young
woman resides who has just been
graduated in piano playing.
Did you ever remark that a locomo
tive attached to a passenger train has
a more important whistle than a loco
motive attached to a freight .train?
Wi never knew but . one man who
told the truth about a hunting trip:
A. W. Stevens, who recently spent two
days at Bean lake, and says.alj he got
was a crow and a mud hen. '
A continued story in a magaaine Is
like a popular man: it is exploited
awhile in the first pages, with many
pictures, but later on it appears in the
back pages without pictures.
"When a man is in love with a woman,
he tells her so: when a woman is in
love with a man, she keeps it from him
so long that he becomes doubtful, and
sometimes disgusted that his atten
tions receive so little return.
It is said the reason the same faces
are seen at every afternoon reception
is that three Atchison women have a
reception list, and when the other wo
men give a reception they borrow one
of the lists and invite every one on it.
People are so often abused for fail
ure to rave over alleged beautiful
things that are not beautiful. People
rarely fail to appreciate genuine worth
and beauty it is never necessary to
abuse people for failure to appreciate a
The people who are unfair in their
business methods, are never properly
disciplined: if a grocer disciplines a
customer who violates all the decent
rules of business, the customer goes to
another grocer and is given to under
stand that he has been treated in an
Servant girls are getting harder to
please every day. An Atchison wo
man's cook does not like to be dis
turbed before 7:30 in the morning,
and as the woman's husband has to
go to work at 7, the woman tip-toes
around and gets breakfast early with
out disturbing her cook.
From the Chicago News.
The best way to kill time is by hard
Each rose haa its thorn; each foun
tain its mud.
Courtship may be blisa, but marriage
The wise teacher never attempts to
teach more than he knows.
Every time the grocer sells a pound
of sugar he gives it a-weigh.
The church with the highest steeple
Isn't always the nearest heaven.
A schoolboy wants to know how many
square rods It takes to make a wise
acre. There Isn't much difference between
animals eating grass and grass-eating
A pebble in a state of circumgyration
acquires not the lichen of rural vegeta
tion. A doctor is a man who kills you today
in order to save you the troubla of dying
A woman may be a friend of the man
she never loved, but she will be an
enemy of the man she loved and lost.
To encounter a banana peel on the
sidewalk is a sign that the hoodooed
person will shortly encounter the side
walk. A St. Louis man, being requested by
his wife to bring home the latest pattern
sheet, astonished the clerk by asking for
the latest pattern for a sheet.
From the Philadelphia Record.
No one need hope to shake the hand
The latest developments can be found
in the gymnasium.
A fever has to be pretty high for a
fellow not to get over it.
The made-up complexion la seldom
what it's cracked up to be.
The discreet business man sella every
thing but his customers.
As a rule the star's farewell perform
ances are much adieu about nothing.
There's a difference between having
something to say and having to say
Sillicus "I believe in a man having
his joke." Cynicus "So do I and keep
"Are these socks all wool?" asked the
customer. "I er don't think so," re
plied the new clerk; "they're marked on
the box half hose.' "
"Don't judge by appearances." says
the Manayunk Philosopher. "The spoon
is an insignificant looking article, but it
has caused more stir than anything
He wooed her with a will. As he was
87 and it was made out in her favor,
don't waste any time working up sym
pathy for the suitor, dear reader. He
won out. hands down.
"Are you perfectly sure this milk is
free from germs?" asked the careful
housekeeper. "Yes, lady," replied the
milkman, confidentially; "we boil every
drop of water that goes into it."
When you can riot sleep for cottghing,
it is hardiy necessary that any one should
tell yu that you reed a few doses of
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to allay the
irri.ati-m of the throat, an.l m-ke sleep
possible. It is good. Try it. For sale by
Topeka Police Hare a New Dis
sipation to Contend With.
People Who Use Cocaine as an
WRECKS THE MIND.
Exhilarates at First But Ends
Stores Do a Big Business in the
A form of dissipation that is growing
in Topeka is the use of cocaine.
It is not generally known, but it Is a
fact that the worst form of drunken
ness that the Topeka police have to con
tend with is the cocaine drunk. In this
city there are more habitual users of
cocaine who are brought before the po
lice judge than there are habitual
The use of cocaine is becoming general
and any druggist will tell you that it is
in constant demand by people who are
continually under its influence. In the
south there are drug stores where one
half of the Income is from the sale of
cocaine. It 13 used by the negroes be
cause they can get on a drunk with
cocaine much cheaper than they can
with whisky and It is more lasting in
Cocaine is an alkaloid obtained from
Erythroxylon Coca and is used by the
physicians as a local anesthetic. It has
a soothing effect when taken internally
and makes one feel very benevolent un
less taken in large doses when it has
the same effect as the vilest kind of
whisky. A cocaine fiend is not nervous
as the steady drinker is, but his hands
and arms will jerk and with continued
use of the drug the mind is invariably
ruined and the fiend becomes insane.
It is taken by making a solution of
about one per cent and then snuffing up
the nostril. It is also injected and is
taken with wine. The local Sends gen
erally snuff it up the nostril, but there
have been cases in the jail where the
cocaine fiend used it just as morphine
is used in hypodermic injections.
It will also be news to the public that
there have been cocaine joints in the
city where people addicted to its use
could go and enjoy themselves much as
the Chinese do in an opium joint. Sev
eral of the women who have been under
the charge of Mrs. Thorpe have told her
that there were places where they could
go and enjoy themselves in this manner.
The use of the drug seems to be more
popular with the women than the men,
and it Is well known by the police that
a great majority of the women of the
street use it.
During the past two months two young
men have been sent to the asylum be
cause they had destroyed their minds
by the use of the drug. There is without
doubt one hundred habitual cocaine
users in the city of Topeka and a num
ber of them will soon follow in the foot
steps of the young men.
There is no law against the sale of the
drug and any one who applies at a drug
store can get it. The sale should be re
stricted so that it could be obtained
only on the prescription of a physician.
COXGER TO GO AHEAD.
United States Minister Has Full Au
thority to Open Negotiations.
Washington, Oct. 25. Minister Conger
has been authorized by his government
to begin negotiations at once with the
Chinese envoys on the basis of the
points in the German and French notes
upon which all of the powers are agreed.
Upon these points where divergence of
views has been found to exist, the gov
ernment of the powers themselves will
negotiate with a view to reaching a fur
ther understanding. It is understood
that the ministerial representatives at
Pekin of the other powers have similar
instructions, but whether they have or
not Mr. Conger is not to be restrained.
The Berlin statement this morning
that Germany has agreed to Japan's
proposals that peace negotiations with
China shall for the present be entrusted
to the foreign representatives at Pekin
is regarded here as an indication that
Germany has taken similar action in the
case of Minister Munn von Sehwartzen
stein. Some surprise is expressed here at the
insistence by some of the powers upon a
settlement of the question of the suffi
ciency of c redentials of the Chinese en
voys at this point. It is stated that it
i3 the invariable practice in peace nego
tiations to allow the plenipotentiaries
themselves to pass upon the credentials
of the envoys, which invariably is de
ferred until the first meeting of the plen
ipotentiaries. COLORADO EL YE It.
Via "Great. Rock Island Route."
Leaves Topeka 8:10 p. m., arriving
Colorado Springs 10:35, Denver 11:00
o'clock next a. m.
Everybody (to stout party in the ro:d) "Hi, Grover! Come Quick'
OFF FOR DENTER.
Washburns Leave For Their Satur
The Washburn football team left at
noon today over the Santa Fe for Den
ver to meet the team of the Denver
Athletic club Saturday.
For several years the Washburn team
has been playing the D. A. C. and have
won and lost games. The team that
goes to the mountains this year Is the
strongest the college has sent out. A
delegation of Washburn rooters accom
panied the team to the train. Manager
Huron and the following players make
up the party:
Hitchcock, left end; Captain Hughes,
left tackle; Clark, left guard; Dadisman,
center; White, right guard; Gill, right
tackle; Banks, right end; Owens, quar
ter; Roberts, left half; Moore, right half;
Mehl, full. Substitutes: "Stub" Clark,
R. Stewart, J. Stewart and Read.
A RECORD BREAKER.
Chicago Republicans Expect a Mon
ster Parade on Saturday.
Chicago, Oct. 23. The sound money pa
rade Saturday promises to be the grand
est pageant of its kind ever witnessed in
the west. Men from all walks of busi
ness and commercial life will participate,
and pledges of marchers already received
malce the prospect of 100 000 paraders high
ly probable. The streets of the city will
be gay with bunting, with the national
colors predominating. There will be visi
tors from the east. The renowned Amer
icus club of Pittsburg, two hundred
strong, will be the guests of the Hamil
ton club, by whom they will be escorted
in the line. The famous Tippecanoe club
of 1840 will ride in carriages. Occupants
of office buildings will represent their re
spective sky scrapers by divisions in the
parade. Banks, business houses, factories,
mills, wholesale establishments, the clear
ing house, board of trade, and in all like
lihood the Stock Exchange will close for
INTO NEW QUARTERS.
Southwestern Fuel Company Secures
a Fine Location.
The Southwestern Fuel Co. has leased
the eligible room at 734 Kansas avenue,
in the Davies building, at the northeast
corner of Eighth. A new front entrance
will be arranged and the entire ground
floor beautifully fitted up to form a
handsome suite of offices.
Mr. W. E. Thomas, the president and
treasurer of the company, believes that
business is tending southward on Kan
sas avenue, and having an opportunity
to secure this good location, made a long
lease for the premises. He is the prin
cipal stockholder of the company, and
has been with the concern for eight
years. Under his administration the
amount of coal business done has grown
to mammoth proportions. The wholesale
and retail business from the Topeka
office will amount to $1,000,000 annually.
Mr. P. J. Morgan is the efficient man
ager and assistant treasurer.
There are three branch offices: one at
Omaha, one at Leavenworth, and one
at Kansas City. The aggregate business
of the four offices will amount to about
$2,000,000. The office force at Topeka
numbers nine. The trade supplied from
this office in addition to the local retail
business covers the supplies for coal
companies all over Kansas and for the
branch offices at Omaha, Leavenworth
and Kansas City. The company is sale3
agent for the Mt. Carmel coal, whose
mines are at Frontenac, Marceline, and
in Osage county. Anthracite, Arkansas
and Colorado coals are also handled as
well as coke and sand.
LAWS FOR CITIES.
Mayor Drew and Attorney Bird Will
Discuss Them "With Others.
Mayor Drew and City Attorney Bird
will go to Kansas City tomorrow where
they will attend the meeting of the city
attorneys who are members of the muni
The object of the meeting is to prepare
bills which will be presented to the Muni
cipal League at the meeting which will
be held in this city the first week in De
cember. The bills that are accepted by
the league will be presented to the legis
lature this winter. The object of the
Municipal League is to secure legislation
needed in the cities of the first class.
Adlai Stevenson Finishes Hia Michi
Chicago, Oct. 25. Adlai Stevenson,
Democratic candidate for vice president,
returned from Michigan today and after
a visit to national headquarters left for
Plattville, Wis., where he will speak to
night. He will speak at Milwaukee to
morrow night and return to Chicago on
Saturday in time to participate in. the
reception to be given him by the Iroquois
club that afternoon.
DEATHS AND FUNERALS.
The funeral of Peter Gayhart will be
held from the residence, 125 West
Twenty-second street, tomorrow after
noon at 2 o'clock. Burial will be In the
The body of Mrs. Hannah Pickaid,
mother of Mrs. George M. Herrick, who
died at the home of President Herrick
of Washburn, was sent to Lena, 111.,
this afternoon for burial. The funeral
was held at the residence this afternoon
Gertrude Frost, the eight-year-old
child of Mr. and Mrs. William Frost, of
Fifteenth and Washington streets, died
this morning. The funeral will be held
at the residence tomorrow morning at
10 o'clock. Burial will be In the Ritchie
Greets Col. Bryan on His En
trance Into New Jersey.
Washington Park, N. J., Oct. 25. Mr.
Bryan crossed the Delaware and touched
New Jersey soil at 12:10 today at this
point. He remained In his carriage, but
the people surged about him in vast num.
bers. He shook hands with every one who
could get to him. When the boat touched
the wharf and from there to the speak
ers' stand the ovation was pronounced.
Mr. Bryan spoke in Washington Park. He
said In part:
"I do not know whether I can make my
self heard over this vast audience, but
it is. very gratifying to have an oppor
tunity to meet so many of the people in
such a short time to pass judgment on
the issues before the country. I only re
gret that my time and strength are not
sufficient for me to come into contact
with every voter and defend our cause in
every part of this country. I am confi
dent that we are right and it is my faith
in the ultimate triumph of that which is
right, as well as my observation that
make me believe that we are bound to
win this fight. I can not believe that the
American people. Intelligent and patriotic,
can give their support to the policies for
which the Republican party now stands.
If any Republican asks you why we
spend our time discussing the new ques
tions," you reply that our position on the
old questions is known and our reasons
Mr. Bryan then devoted himself to an
elaboration of the charges of inconsis
tency on the part of the Republican party.
In the campaign of 1806, he said Mr.
McKinley had as a candidate said that
he would "open the mills instead of the
mints," and the first thing he did, said
Mr. Bryan, "was to place on the statutes
a tariff measure which was intended
to allow the tariff barons to get back the
money which they had expended in the
The question of trusts had especial
attention, and almost every sentiment
was applauded to the echo. Mr. Bryan
"I read the other day of the forma
tion of, a milk trust. Think of it. A
milk trust to meet the infant when he
comes into the world, and when the In
fant grows into manhood the coal trust
looks after him in the winter time and
the ice trust in the summer time, and
the coffin trust waits for him at the
bottom of the hill when life's fitful
dream is over."
Referring to his remedy, requiring a
state license for trusts, Mr. Bryan said
he would shut up a corporation in the
state of its origin until it can show
that it is going into other states on a
peaceful mission and not as a highway
man. Taking up the question of the increase
of the standing army, Mr. Bryan said:
"If the president knew when he en
tered upon his policy it meant a large
army and war and bloodshed, then he
acted deliberately, and the case is worse
In connection he said that tne Kepuo
licana contend that the constitution can
not be stretched outside the United
States, while the president can stretch
himself all over the globe until it gets
to be all president and no constitution."
Frank S. Thomas left today for Chi
cago to attend the final meeting of the
Democratic state central committee.
The federal court has not completed
its session in Leavenworth, but all the
federal officers from this city have come
The heating apparatus in the city
building will be given another test this
afternoon. If it proves successful the
building committee will make its report
The registration at noon today was 9,
721. There is no question but that it will
pass the 10,000 mark as the last day has
always been the largest, never being less
H. P. Farrelly, Fusion candidate for
attorney general, and S. J. Kent, labor
commissioner of Nebraska, will address
the Fusion meeting at the Grand Opera
There was no session of the police
court this morning. The case against
George Klauer for selling liquor will
come up this afternoon and the case
against H. Dowling for the same of
fense will be called tomorrow.
Councilman Elliott, who is chairman of
the streets and walks committee, went
out on Walnut and Piercy streets where
the grading and paving is being done to
see the people who were complaining of
the lines. He succeeded in adjusting and
explaining matters to the satisfaction of
all the residents and the work will now
proceed without any further delay.
The case against George Dupree, who
was arrested charged with running a
policy game, has been settled. Dupree
put up a cash bond of $10 which he will
forfeit. This arrangement was made be
cause the city did not consider the case
Btrong enough to fight, the complaining
witness having left the city. This is an
other example of suppressing gambling.
A gambling house was raided last week
and the proprietor escaped with a fine
of $10 "because the case was not strong
It doesn't take a married man long to
discover that when the cook expects
company the dinner is always better.
MADE A TOURIST AGENT.
Topeka Man Guide For Rock Island
One of the four tourist agents that
will be in charge of the Rock Island's
personally conducted tourist excursions
thafrwill be run weekly between Boston,
Mass., Califoria and Puget Sound
points, will be Charles Phillips of To
peka. Mr. Phillips is in the passenger
department office here.
These excursions go through the west
by the far famed scenic route. These
personally conducted tours have proven
very popular. There is a possibility that
another popular Rock Island office em
ploye will be appointed a tourist agent
for one of the other trains also.
In crossing the continent in charge of
these trains, about a week is consumed
each way, with a two day layoff at
either end. This makes the position of
conductor or tourist guide a very con
MEN FOR M' ARTHUR.
Two Thousand Recruits to Go For
ward Next Month.
New Tork, Oct 25. Colonel Kimball,
assistant quartermaster general of the
United States army, announced today
that 2.000 recruits will leave for the Phil
ippines in the next three weeks. The
first 1.000 will leave on the transport
Buford on November 5. The second
transport carrying the other 1,000 will
be the Kilpatrick, which will leave on
November 10. The recruits on the Buf
ord will be in command of Colonel Jacob
Kline of the Twenty-first infantry, and
those on the Kilpatrick by Colonel
EASTERN STAR OFFICERS.
Grand Lodge Will Meet In Sioux
City Next Year.
Des Moines, la., Oct, 25. The grand
lodge of the Order of the Eastern Star
for Iowa elected officers today as fol
lows: Mrs. Fred A. Oppenheimer, Webster
City, worthy grand matron.
A. J. Small, Des Moines.grand matron.
Mrs. Jane Weber, Cherokee, associate
Dr. J. C. W. Cox, Washington, associ
ate grand patron.
Mrs. Maria Jackson. Council Bluffs,
The next annual convention will be
held in Sioux City. The change in the
constitution reducing delegations from
each chapter so as to number two in
stead of three, was reported upon favor
ably by the committee, but was defeated
in the convention.
Work of Abstinence Union.
The officers of the Twentieth Century
Total Abstinence union, of which Miss
Olive P. Bray is president and Mrs. L.
E. Thorpe, city police matron, is vice
president, are preparing a new leaflet
showing the progress of the movement
during the first six months of its ex
istence. The new movement is a total
abstinence crusade which works, not by
meetings, but by the personal efforts of
the members. Each active member
agrees to endeavor to secure three new
active members within thirty days.
Attention Post 71 O. A. R.
The members of Topeka nost No. 71,
G. A. It., will assemble athe hall to
morrow at 1 o'clock p. m. sharp, to at
tend the funeral of Comrade Peter Gay
hart. Funeral at 2 o'clock p. m., from
residence, 125 West Twenty-second
street. All comrades and corps invited.
Car from transfer station for those with
DANIEL WARREN, Commander.
G. BEDELL, Adjutant.
Universal Wage Scale.
Pittsburg, Oct. 25. The national associa
tion of bridge and KtrurturaJ iron work
ers in session here today adopted a uni
versal scale fixing the rate on wages at
fifty cents an hour with eight hours as
a day's work. The scale will go into ef
fect next May. It was also decided to
nd an organizer to Bouth Africa and
Egypt to organize structural iron workers
In those countries.
Curtis at Valley Falls.
Congressman Charles Curtis will
speak in Valley Falls on the evening of
Saturday, October 27. Jackson's band
will be taken to furnish the music for
the occasion. A special coach has been
engaged for the band and all others who
desire to go. The train will leave Topeka
at about 4 o'clock and will return after
Robbed Nickel Flate Depot.
Vermillion, O., Oct. 25. Three un
known masked men entered the Nickel
Plate depot early today, bound the agent
and robbed the safe of several hundred
Sims Reeves Dead.
London, Oct. 25. Sims Reeves, the
veteran English singer, died today at
HUMOR OF THE DA Y.
"Against these hideous Belgian hares,"
now states in great dejection
Our home-grown Bunny, "I would like to
beg my friends' protection."
Miss Yellow-leaf (coyly) I never saw
any one act so foolish as Mr. Sophtie
when he's alone with a girl.
Miss Peppery Alonewith a girl! How
could you ever see him under such cir
cumstances? Philadelphia Times.
"Are you an out-and-out patriot?"
asked the earnest citizen.
"Well," answered Senator Sorghun
"I'm a patriot; but I'm not an out-and
out one. What I'm looking for is to gel
my innings." Washington Star.
"Fine, patriotic fellow, that Watklns'
When he heard of the Chinese war he
cut off the heads of ail his prize chick
ens." "What had they to do with it?"
"They were Shanghais." Buffalo
The nervous young man backed into
the nearest chair. The fair girl glared
at him. "Tou're a bird!" Bhe cried sar
castically. "Why er what?" he gasped.
"Tou're on my hat!" she fairly
Jackson The baby's getting more like
its mother every day.
Johnson That so?
Jackson Tes: it's learning to talk.
Rose Let's play keeping house!
Maisie All right. Pretend you're a
lady and I'm calling on you.
Rose That'll be fun. Now sit down
and ask me how I like my new cook.
Fltznoodle (to gamekeeper) When I
was in Australia I shot the biggest kan
garoo the natives said they ever saw.
Gamekeeper Kindeed, sir! What was
you a-haimin' at? Tit-Bita
Customer1 Some crabs, please.
Waiter Shirtwaist or hunting caseT
Customer What do you mean?
Waiter Soft or hard shell, sir? Puck.
Artist Will you permit me to palnl
that boat of yours?
First-class rianos.in choice new
styles, In most handntme Hungar
ian Walnut, Amrical Burl Walnut,
San Domingo Mahojny, English
Oak and Golden Oak.
Rich Piano Scarf and Stools
AU Prices Marked in Rain Figures
on AU Slyle
Piease pive us a call whether yon
want a J'iano or not, r whether
you may want one in a yar or five
years from the present tune.
HUB OF THE UNIVERSE."
A fine, late, two-ste-p gVen to all
visitors during the exhibit
Our Salesroom Will Be
Open Every Evening
Pianos For Rent
Both New and Second'Hind.
E. B. Guild Music Co.
Crawford Opera House Building.
The Other You can tar 'er if ye like
she don't want no paint. Gaiety.
Mrs. Gadabout That Mrs. Hardhead
next door doesn't seem to have many
Hostess (wearily) No; I wonder how
she manages it? Tid-Bi ta
ller father "And I s'pose you expert If
I ocnsellt to let you have my fi;iu;lilfr
that 1 will set you up in buslm-m una
make you rich?"
Mr. Stipliigh "No. I rnl!y haven't liny
such extravagant ex M'eta.i tons an that.
I'm willing to take her .lust for uiy board
and clothes." j?paro Moments.
"A sail!" shouted the lucknut,
The admiral knit Id brown.
"1 hope it's the enemy!" he muttered.
"I have enouah powiier to tit-'ht a battle,
but not enough to fire a saline!"
With this he folded Ids arms und .loom
ily contemplated the horlsoii. Indianapo
Mrs. Nttgshy (impatiently rulUnn i Nor i
drop everything at once and come to me!
Nora Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. NaKsby Now, what' the buby
Nora 'Cause I dropped him, ma'm.
Glasgow Kvenlng limes.
It Happened in a Drug Store.
"One day lHt wlnfr a lady mm to mv
drug store and asked for a brand of cough
medicine that 1 did not have In pIoik."
sav Mr. ('. H. Qrandln, the popular drug
gist of Ontario. N. Y. "She was disap
pointed and wanted to know what ruiiKh
preparation I could recommend. I mid
to her that I could freelv recommend
Chamberlain's Cough Itenu-tly. und th:it
she could take a bottle of the remedy m'cI
Kfter giving it a lair trial If sh dal not
find it worth the money to btlna bac k
the bottle and I would refund the prtcw
faid. In the course of a clay or two itr
adv came back In company with a friend
in need of a courh medicine and ndvined
her to buy a bottle of Chamberlain'
Cough Remedy. 1 consider that a very
good recommendation for the remedy." It
is for sale by all UrugHlsin.
A social dance will be given at K. I,
hall October 25. Admittance, 25 rents
per couple. Extra ladies, 10 cent
Oven thermometers at t hus. Bennett's
optical store. 7;i0 Kansns avenue.
"Mr. Freshlelgh," said the business
man to hia clerk, "I wish you would takf
this bill and try to collect it." "No soon
er said than dun," murmured Mr.Fresh
lelgh. THURSDAY, Oct. 25.
Fred Raymonds's greatest Scetilo
Production of the Age
An eclipse of all former scenic pro
ductions. Prices: 2,r)C, 35c, 60c, 75c.
FRIDAY, Oct. 20.
New York's Favorite Comedian,
John T. Swartwnod. and pretty
Theresa Belmont-Walters in the de
lightfully funny Farce.
"WHERE IS COBB?"
A comedy with a plot.
Prices: 75c, 60o, Sic, 2.",o,
2 PKRI'ORMANCES 2
Matinee and Saturday
Night, Oct. 27.
A 20th Century Jubilee.
3D FARCE COMEDY FTAI18-30
Ladies and Children's Matinee.
Prices: Children, 10 cents; adults
SPECIAL See the parade at noon
of the Rough Riders and the Jovial
MONDAY, Oct. 29.
WOOD & WARDS
Jolly Jingling Farce
An Indian Ragtime Operatic Com
edy in three acta.
A Refined Comedy.
Prices: 76c, 50o, 3e and 25 o.
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