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THE BOSS RAISED HIM FIRST.
A GOOD EEASON".
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The Tran-i: "Give us a chance, guv'nor! I bin follerin you fer half an
l-.,.ur. reckonin you couldn't smoke your cigar too short wiv a mustarsher like
that. An, now, blow me if you ain't goin to finish it in your cigar holder!"
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First Rat: "How do you know there's a eat in this vicinity?"
Second Rat: "Well, for goodness' sake, isn't this pile of old shoes and
things sufficient evidence?" Scribner's.
HE WASN'T AFEAID.
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, Employer (to clerk who haa been sent to collect some money): "Well,
what did he say to you?"
Clerk: "That he would break every bone In my body and pitch me out of
the window If I showed my face there again!"
Employer: "Did he? Then go back at once and tell him that he Is vastly
mistaken if he thinks he will intimidate me by hia violence."
TITLES THAT DON'T SEEM TO FIT, SOMEHOW.
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1. Hia "serene highness." His
"angry lowness" would be nearer
the mark, wouldn't it?
2. His "grace." Not exactly
study in gracefulness though.
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3. The "master of the house." We
should be inclined to call him "the
worm of tha hc-u."
4. The "lady of the house." And
we're afraid there are a few of these
'"aJies" about too.
Employer (to office boy): "I was very pleased to ob
serve just now, Thomas, that you picked up a pin from ,
the floor. It shows great thoughtf ulness and thrift on What Tommy had In his mind when he picked up the pin.
your part, and to show my appreciation I will raise your
salary 50 cents a week." (Profuse thanks from Tommy.)
IN THE AIRSHIP DAYS.
Designing Spinster: "They told me there was a man up here, but I don't seem to see one!"
BURGLAR BILL'S GREAT INVENTION.
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The Wayfarer: "Here's luck! A purse and a lot of loose money!"
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Papa: "Tou know, James, how much I disapprove of fighting. Still it Is
gratifying to know that you have beaten a bigger boy than yourself. Why did
you fight him?"
James: "He said I looked like you, dad."
THE EEAINY MONK.
The Footpad: "Smart dodge, ain't it, cully? Does away with the bother of hayin to go shares with a pardner!"
40 -Mf' Aa
GIVING U S THE GRIP.
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