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TOPEKA STATE JOTJHNAI WEDNESDAY EVENTXG. DECEMT3EK 25, 1SOX.
AFTER PAYING THE BILL. A TIP FOB HOUSEHOLDERS. V . She: "Isn't the tide high at this place?" He: "la there any thins here that isn't high?" THEY BEGIN EAKLY. I J ..'iff ly j ?, , J . . , I I -v. . -K.- ,J . V" . ; 3 "i,7 UIS KSEW TUB PLACE. Mamma There, Bertie, this is a note for pa to tell him I shan't be home till late. Now, where shall I put it so that he's sure to see it? Bertie Lean it against the whisky decanter. A TROUBLESOME BAIT. ... . i ,AN it Lady (solemnly) : "When yu see a boy always loafing round street corners, what place la life do you suppose he is fitting himself for?" Boy: "To be a policeman, mum!" Be7i Mease. "Benny Bloombumper, how do we knew that the moon is 240,000 miles' distant from the earth?" Benny (alarmed at the teacher's manner) Y-y-you said so yourself, sir. Gvldcm Silemce. "Money talks, you know." said the waiter. "Yes, I know," said the diner, "and f'm groins to give you a quiet tip." Tonkers Statesman. 'TWOULD BE, MEAN TO DISAPPOINT HIM. France: "Vait, valtl Don't do ce backdown just yet! I Tlsh to try my lee tle boat!" Chicago Newa "Hey, dar, yo hoss fly, I ain't fiyin" a kite, I ain't! I'ze flshln'!" Scribner'a. fMzjW If 4 i) It was at dead of night when young Fitzgibbons, the amateur legerde nainiac, stole down (airs quietly to behold the unholy gleam of a dark lantern in the dining room. "Oh, Lar"!" he murmured. "There's a chiel among us taking notes, or would be taking them if I kept them in the sideboard cup board! He's too much for me single handed. I must resort to stratagem, with a capital S." it i 3 y. -a. air - vp 7 is ; lift Later: "Ah! I thought it'd go hard if I couldn't manufacture a semblance of a bulldog with the candle and my key chain. I haven't entertained with the shadowgraph at smokers and church bazaars for nothing! - jlp "That's done him. Hope he won't break his neck. He's left a lot of little things behind him. Ta, ta! Don't call next time you're passing!" Liked His Meat Rare. - : "What is your vocation?" asked the cannibal king sternly, i " "I er I am a weather bureau man, your majesty," ventured the, weather man timidly. - ' "Turn him loose, 'commanded the cannibal king.- "He has been roasted enough." Ohio State Journal. WHEN CHOLXY HUNTS, J iffff 1 1 ' First Chappie: "I say, old chap, I'm going on a hunting trip to the Adi rondack. What sort of tip should I give the guide?" Second Chappie: "It depeads where you hit him HOW BROWN GOT IKRT. 01 'i.'.J-5rT 'i' 'f f ,1. T-Wf Mil 1 IM I I r-i . k ? CM -ar r-v j;i WW - "Hello, Brown! Had a fall?" "No er not exactly. I've Just given the cook notice." CRUSHED HIM. Mand Faircash And what did father say when you asked him If you might pay your addresses to me? Toung Sparedaub He said he was surprised to hear that I was capable of paying anything. Them He Gave Up. "What is your age?" asked the great, coarse business man of the applicant for the position of cashier. "Well er I can't tell you that," she replied. "Do you know what day you were . born or .. "Oh, yes; I was bora en a Sunday." Philadelphia Press. . . "BIOGRAPHING." TFrom the London Chronicle As your columns are open to the dis cussion of literary questions, I shall be greatly obliged to you if you will tell me of any means by which a person engaged in public work can be spared the biography" and "interview." I am at present the recipient of daily Insult from various quarters of Journalism on account of a small "bijou biographv" of m, which the publisher, Mr. Drane. tias Issued to companion similar vol ume concerning John Burns, Joseph Chamberlain, Lord Kitchener.Lord Rob erts, and last, not least, his ma3esty the king. None of these distinguished gentlemen have been accused in the press of writing their "biographies" themselves, and issuing them with Mr. Drane for the purpose of "advertise ment," but this libellous accusation is being freely circulated with regard to myself. Will you permit me to say that, as a matter of act, I made every effort to prevent this "biography" from being issued, and Mr. Drane, if asked, could entirely confirm this statement. Asking a solicitor's advice on the subject, I Was told, "If the biography does not give publicity to anything false er libel lous, you could not successfully take exception to It in any court of law."' I shall be glad to learn if I can "success fully take exception in a court of law" to the "false and libellous" statements made in certain quarters of the press with regard to this matter, as such statements can certainly be proved both damaging and injurious. The other day I saw an Interesting account of the career .of my kindly and popular neigh bor. Sir Arthur Hodgson, in a Birming ham paper. Am I tp suppose he wrote it himself, and had it inserted as an "advertisement?" Has Lord Roberts found it necessary to taka the name of "Ernest 1 Russell" and write his own biography for the benefit of Mr. Drane? Were I to accuse others as wrongfully as I am myself accused. I should be served, and deservedly so, with endlesa writs for libel. Personally I should like to be told how to avoid being known at all save by my books for.as the "Court Circular" obligingly says of me, "It would be much better if she could sink her personality altogether, and let the public judge of her simply and solely by her writings." This is precisely what I have always desired, but apparently this is not allowed. If X refuse to grant "interviews" they are straightway in vented on hearsay; and, though I "de cline to be photographed, "fancy" like nesses of me are constantly published. (I have a scrap-book containing various portraits of myself -which, -thank God, are not me). If .1 travel ten miles dis tant I am reported as having "high times in Italy and on the Riviera," and quite recently I was accredited with the ownership of a house in Venice, with a garden "covered with vines," where I wrote . 'The Master Christian." It you, sir, will give me any talisman of protection against this wholly undesired vulgar and objectionable notoriety, I aaaU forever ba grateful. I cannot vary IAD MISCELLANEOUS All FREE MESSENGER EOR WANTS PULL a Postal Telegraph-Cable box or call by telephone No. 417 and have yur Want Ads brought to the State Journal office by free messenger. No charge to you for messenger service. Cost of clasei ned ads E cents per line of 6 words t t uuu every iraction merwi. WAJJ TED SITUATIONS. WANTED Situation by a young girl, a place to help with housework. 46 Fair child at. WANTED A job by a colored man with good references. Address C. C, to care of Journal. WHEN you want to hire a man or boy, call un Y. M. C A., telephone SU. w have a list of men and confidential ref erences concerning them. T. M. C. A. Employment Bureau. 117 East Elrhta St. WANTED FEUAIiB HELP. WANTED Experienced woman for gen eral housework to go to Indian Terri tory. Mrs. Soper, S27 Topeka ave. WANTED A girl for light housework; no washing; small family. Call at 82i North Tyler at. after 6 o'clock. WANTED MALE HELP. WANTED An experienced Are insurance man capable of handling office and earning J100 per month: must invest J200 guarantee ef good faith. An excellent opening for right party. Address "Insur ance," care Journal. WANTED Men to learn barber trade; only 8 weeks required. Special induce ments for 38 days; can earn scholarship, board. tools. transportation and wages Sat urdays, if desired. Positions guaranteed: catalogue free. Write, Moler Barber col lege, St. Louis, Mo.. , WANTED MISCELLANEO U3. WANTED A good driving horse. Call 123J North Van Buren st, Wednesday eve.. TRUSSES fitted to women - FREE at Smith Co.'s Thursday. Friday and Sat urday, 2 to 3 p. m. Lady assistant. WANTED Horses to beard ; best of care. Livery at reasonable rates, delivered to any part of city. Stables 617 and 619 West Tenth St., G. V. Stamey, prop. FOE RENT ROOMS. FOR RENT 2 unfurnished rooms south west corner 6th and Polk sts. FOR RENT 2 large furnished rooms. In quire southwest corner 6th and Polk St. FOR RENT HOUSES. FOR RENT 6 room houses, all conven iences, barn, etc., Emmett St., W. See Charles G. Dodds, 3 Kaw St. FOR RENT 2 houses. 6 and g rooms. modern, and paved streets. 1102 and 1110 Quincy at. John Ritchie. FOR RENT 9 room house, modern, fur nished or unfurnished. 700 Western ave. FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS. FQRSAlGsFree FOR SALE 2 buggies and harness. winneia ave., oaitiana. - 87J FOR SALE Cheap, 1 square piano, ill Chandler st. - FOR SALE OR RENT House and lota. inquire ilia winneid. ave., Oakland, nan. FOR SALE Oood clean stock of groceries eood trade: other business reasons for selling. Call 1701 Kansas, avo. FOR SALE Cheap, lady's cape, almost new. also iacket and coat. 7z3 Clav st. Call mornings or after ft o'clock evenings. FOR SALE For storage goods belonging to M. C. Haas of Wichita, Kan., consist ing of 1 cook stove and pipe, 1 lounge. C. D. Skinner, S. W. corner th and Quincy, Saturday at 2 p. m., January 4, 1902. FOR SALE Horse, buggy and harness, cheap. S. W. cor. Cth and Pslk sts. - . FOR SALE The best bank counter In Topeka and other furniture. May bt seen at 816 Kansas ave. Address C C Baker. 113 E. Eixhth St. FOR BALE REAL ESTATE. FOR SALE The Arlington hotel and liv ery stable, also other property adjoin ing. Address A. Sharp, Blue Rapids, Kan. FOR SALE Acre tracts on West Sixth and West Tenth sts., close in. FRANK J. BROWN, 17 Columbian Blag. M .. FOR SALE By M. Keery, 328 Monroe at, houses and lota on time payments. well live altogether in one room and refuse to see any human creature, but as matters stand (owing, I suppose, to the "smart" Journalist's greed for "copy") I can neither walk, drive, talk or entertain friends without being made the subject of a paragraph, by which the paragraphia t poMibly may maka half a crown. I do not grudge him (or her) the money, but I would pay more than a dozen half crowns to bo let alone. MARIE COKELLI. QUEER GEORGIA ITEMS. From the Atlanta Constitution. "The supper for the benefit of the new church lightning rod was a grand suc cess." "A dinner in the interest of the scheol house bell was gen en Wednesday last." "A strawberry festival for the bene fit of the town cemetery is aoheduled for the near future." "Tomorrow a barbecue will be given for the new courthouse stepa." A WRECK. , ' From the Detroit Journal.! We contemplated the alcoholic wreck with unmingled pity. "A sinking chip indeed!" wa ex claimed. "But the rats do not leave met" shrieked the fellow, gesturing wildly. We extende to- him the helping hand, of course, but he shrank away, mistak ing this for a pink elephant. A Dead Heat With On Entry. . , From the, Philadelphia Presa.J . ""What's the funniest thing ' I ever saw?" repeated the gentleman of aport ing tendencies. -"Well, I guesa it was a dead heat in an event where there -was only one -entry." "How in the world was that?" came from the other end of the store and when the answer came, "A cremation," the questioner ordered the drinks. TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN T hereby give notice that I will not bo responsible for debts contracted by my wile, Mrs. Mary J. McGuire. J. C. MoUuire. TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN My np plication for a permit to sell intoxicat ing liquors, according to law, st 12 and 124 East Fourth street, in the Second ward of the city of Topeka, is now on file In the office of the probate Jurtee of Shawnee county, Kan. The hearing ot the same is set for Friday st o'clock a. ta., Jaauary 14, 1902. M- A. FT7NCHES3. TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN My ap plication tor a permit to sell intoxicat ing liquors, according to law. t 11 East Sixth St., in the Second ward of the eity of Topeka, is now on file in the office of the probate judge of Shawnee county, Kansas. The bearing of the same is set for Thursday at t o'clock a. m., January I, 1902. J. HBMRIETTA. LOST AND KDHD. LOST Monday a. m. a small gold clas pin (C. H. 8. '01). Please return to fc2 Tyler st. or telephorfe SOI. LOST A lady's black fur collarette be tween Pot win tnii Clay st. on th st. Return to tho Jewel grocery, SM W. ith. PERSONAL. RUNKENNESS CURED Guaranteed. no injury, no publicity. Call Topeka ho tel, room 2, 6th and Jackson sts. SATIN-SKIN SPECIALTIES, BEST for you because best made. Satin Skin Cream and Powder. Sbd. L'so la proof. Now Model. .PAVINCA THE OFFICE of the Capita! C!ty Vitri fied Brick and Paving Co. haa boon re moved to 11 West Eighth st. ' , L 9 STAMPS, SEALS AND STENOILS THE S. C. DARLINO CO.. 7S4 Ksn. Avo. Rubber stamps, brass and aluminum trade checks. Prices low. Catalogue f roe. Tel. Ms. STORAGE. Co., packs, shiDS ane stores housebote goods. Tel. tfft. Clarence Skinner. W M. Sixth at. . FREE DISPENSARY. FREE . DISPENSART. 12S Kansas v.. north of 1st St.. under management of seven Topeka physicians, where those who are unable to pay for medical troet ment may have the same free ef charge. SPECIALISTS. BR j. ALpEHT BERRY, tU Kansas ave.. tel. 7 Diseases ot tne organs ex digestion, including the mouth, int. threat, stomach and intestines. MONET. FARM LOANS Low rate, best terms, to 10 years; privilege to pay la full er In partial payments before due. Leans can be closed at enoe. Call en er -write The Kansas Mutual Life Ins. Co.. 701 Jackson st.. Topeka, Kas. TO LOAN Money on Topeka real estate. Pay back monthly. Low interest rets. Shawnee Building and Loan Association. See Eastman at 115 West Sixth st. MONET TO LOAN en live stock, piano. organs, typewriters, household roods one personal security. L. Biscee. 622 Kan. ave. ATTORN 3ETB-AT-LA W. TTDrHJMFHRYTUwyer! has r - moved his office to 604 Kansas ave. WATCHMAKER. WATCHES cleaned, 75c: clocks, sec: main springs, 7dc: crystals, loc. tJasn paia lor old gold or silver. All work guaranteed. Old jewelry exchanged for new. It hard up. see Uncle Sam, 12 Kansas eve JIWJELER3 JAMES B. HATDEN, Jeweler end Opti cian. Complete stock of watches, dia monds, silverware, etc. Eyes examined and spectacles properly fitted. a PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS. IDA C. BARNES, M. D. Office 728 Kansas ave. Residence Thlr. teenth and Clay. Office hours: t a. m. to 11 a. m.. and t p. m. to 6 p. tm. Telephoae 68 residence and 1C office. DR. EVA HARDING, Horoeopathist. 2 Kansas ave. Telephone 402. HAIR DRESSING. SWITCHES, shampooing, wigs for Santa Clause, etc Mrs. Van Vleck, 22J E. 6th St. Tel. 7i. illCTCLEa. TOPEKA CYCLE Co., 109-111 E. Ith t. Tel. 7M. Bicycles and sundries ; eK-ycl.e and tandems for rent; repairing ef all kinds- . U. S. CYCLE Co., lit E. 8th St. National and Union bicycles. Sundries, repairs. HIDES AND FURS. wivtrb Hides and furs: highest rear- ket price paid. 817 W. tfc St. T. J. Brown. .PATENTS. J. A. ROSEN Attorney and counselor In patent, traaernara ana ropynim Patents procured; trademarks registered. Office, Rosen Building. 41 Kansas Ave. FLORISTS. MRS. J. R. HAOUE. Bonst, 117 Kansas ave. 'Phone 02. CUT FLOWERS and floral destg-na a Hayes'. 17 West Eigath st. 'Phone Ui . . , 3 MISCELLANEOUS, SPECIAL SALE high grade candles until Christmas, half price. KUS Kansas ave. MACHINE SHOPS. riiv aell er trade runs: fine resalrina. machine, patent models, sporting goods E05 Kan. av. H. B. Howard. Goidca Rule. RAILROAD TIME TABLES. ROCK ISLAND ROUTE. WESTBOUND. Arrive. Texas Express No. 1......12:M pm St. J. Topeka No. 139.12:4opm Night Colo, r jyer . ouujjra Leave. 1:00 pm 6:10 pm Night Texas Ex. No. 3.. .31 :45 pm 12:01am 8. W. Express rno. at v" K. C. Chickasha No. 35 S JU am :3o am 3:35 pm 8:36 pm 4 :20 a m 7:30 an 7:.TI am 7:W im Eastbound Limited No. 2 3:30 pm lopeka & St. Joe No. 14. East Ex. & Mail No. 4.. 5:30 am Col. & K. C. Flyer No. 10 Topeka A St. Joe No. 26. r-hit Xr K.C. No. 36... 7:00 pm All trains dally except No. 35 and Stt daily except Sunday. UNION PACIFIC. WESTBOUND. Arrive. Lesf Den. PaC Coast No. B.12:W pm 12:3" pm Limited No. 1 ll:lpm 11:10 m June. City Pass. No. 3.. E:iu pm EASTBOUNO. Atlantic Ex. No. 4N 3:00 pm Limited No. 2 5:itaOT K. C. Pass. No. ( 8:06 am MISSOURI PACIFIC. Arrive. :25 pm 8:00 pm 6:50 am 8:20 a:u Topeka -Ft- Scott Accoro. No. 26 6:00 pm Leave. t:00 am