TOPEKA STATE JOTJHNAI WEDNESDAY EVENTXG. DECEMT3EK 25, 1SOX.
AFTER PAYING THE BILL.
A TIP FOB HOUSEHOLDERS.
She: "Isn't the tide high at this place?"
He: "la there any thins here that isn't high?"
THEY BEGIN EAKLY.
I J ..'iff ly j ?, , J . . , I I -v. . -K.- ,J
. V" . ; 3
UIS KSEW TUB PLACE.
Mamma There, Bertie, this is a note
for pa to tell him I shan't be home till
late. Now, where shall I put it so that
he's sure to see it?
Bertie Lean it against the whisky
A TROUBLESOME BAIT.
... . i
Lady (solemnly) : "When yu see a boy always loafing round street corners,
what place la life do you suppose he is fitting himself for?"
Boy: "To be a policeman, mum!"
"Benny Bloombumper, how do we
knew that the moon is 240,000 miles'
distant from the earth?"
Benny (alarmed at the teacher's
manner) Y-y-you said so yourself, sir.
"Money talks, you know." said the
"Yes, I know," said the diner, "and
f'm groins to give you a quiet tip."
'TWOULD BE, MEAN TO DISAPPOINT HIM.
France: "Vait, valtl Don't do ce backdown just yet! I Tlsh to try my lee
tle boat!" Chicago Newa
"Hey, dar, yo hoss fly, I ain't fiyin" a
kite, I ain't! I'ze flshln'!" Scribner'a.
It was at dead of night when young Fitzgibbons, the amateur legerde
nainiac, stole down (airs quietly to behold the unholy gleam of a dark lantern
in the dining room. "Oh, Lar"!" he murmured. "There's a chiel among us
taking notes, or would be taking them if I kept them in the sideboard cup
board! He's too much for me single handed. I must resort to stratagem, with
a capital S."
air - vp
Later: "Ah! I thought it'd go hard if I couldn't manufacture a semblance
of a bulldog with the candle and my key chain. I haven't entertained with
the shadowgraph at smokers and church bazaars for nothing! -
"That's done him. Hope he won't break his neck. He's left a lot of little
things behind him. Ta, ta! Don't call next time you're passing!"
Liked His Meat Rare. - :
"What is your vocation?" asked the
cannibal king sternly, i "
"I er I am a weather bureau man,
your majesty," ventured the, weather
man timidly. - '
"Turn him loose, 'commanded the
cannibal king.- "He has been roasted
enough." Ohio State Journal.
WHEN CHOLXY HUNTS,
J iffff 1 1 '
First Chappie: "I say, old chap, I'm going on a hunting trip to the Adi
rondack. What sort of tip should I give the guide?"
Second Chappie: "It depeads where you hit him
HOW BROWN GOT IKRT.
01 'i.'.J-5rT 'i' 'f
T-Wf Mil 1 IM I I
r-i . k ?
CM -ar r-v j;i
- "Hello, Brown! Had a fall?"
"No er not exactly. I've Just given
the cook notice."
Mand Faircash And what did father
say when you asked him If you might
pay your addresses to me?
Toung Sparedaub He said he was
surprised to hear that I was capable of
Them He Gave Up.
"What is your age?" asked the great,
coarse business man of the applicant
for the position of cashier.
"Well er I can't tell you that," she
"Do you know what day you were .
born or ..
"Oh, yes; I was bora en a Sunday."
Philadelphia Press. . .
TFrom the London Chronicle
As your columns are open to the dis
cussion of literary questions, I shall
be greatly obliged to you if you will
tell me of any means by which a person
engaged in public work can be spared
the biography" and "interview." I am
at present the recipient of daily Insult
from various quarters of Journalism on
account of a small "bijou biographv"
of m, which the publisher, Mr. Drane.
tias Issued to companion similar vol
ume concerning John Burns, Joseph
Chamberlain, Lord Kitchener.Lord Rob
erts, and last, not least, his ma3esty
the king. None of these distinguished
gentlemen have been accused in the
press of writing their "biographies"
themselves, and issuing them with Mr.
Drane for the purpose of "advertise
ment," but this libellous accusation is
being freely circulated with regard to
myself. Will you permit me to say that,
as a matter of act, I made every effort
to prevent this "biography" from being
issued, and Mr. Drane, if asked, could
entirely confirm this statement. Asking
a solicitor's advice on the subject, I
Was told, "If the biography does not
give publicity to anything false er libel
lous, you could not successfully take
exception to It in any court of law."' I
shall be glad to learn if I can "success
fully take exception in a court of law"
to the "false and libellous" statements
made in certain quarters of the press
with regard to this matter, as such
statements can certainly be proved both
damaging and injurious. The other day
I saw an Interesting account of the
career .of my kindly and popular neigh
bor. Sir Arthur Hodgson, in a Birming
ham paper. Am I tp suppose he wrote
it himself, and had it inserted as an
"advertisement?" Has Lord Roberts
found it necessary to taka the name of
"Ernest 1 Russell" and write his own
biography for the benefit of Mr. Drane?
Were I to accuse others as wrongfully
as I am myself accused. I should be
served, and deservedly so, with endlesa
writs for libel. Personally I should like
to be told how to avoid being known at
all save by my books for.as the "Court
Circular" obligingly says of me, "It
would be much better if she could sink
her personality altogether, and let the
public judge of her simply and solely
by her writings." This is precisely what
I have always desired, but apparently
this is not allowed. If X refuse to grant
"interviews" they are straightway in
vented on hearsay; and, though I "de
cline to be photographed, "fancy" like
nesses of me are constantly published.
(I have a scrap-book containing various
portraits of myself -which, -thank God,
are not me). If .1 travel ten miles dis
tant I am reported as having "high
times in Italy and on the Riviera," and
quite recently I was accredited with
the ownership of a house in Venice, with
a garden "covered with vines," where
I wrote . 'The Master Christian." It
you, sir, will give me any talisman of
protection against this wholly undesired
vulgar and objectionable notoriety, I
aaaU forever ba grateful. I cannot vary
IAD MISCELLANEOUS All
FREE MESSENGER EOR WANTS
PULL a Postal Telegraph-Cable box or
call by telephone No. 417 and have yur
Want Ads brought to the State Journal
office by free messenger. No charge to
you for messenger service. Cost of clasei
ned ads E cents per line of 6 words t t
uuu every iraction merwi.
WAJJ TED SITUATIONS.
WANTED Situation by a young girl, a
place to help with housework. 46 Fair
WANTED A job by a colored man with
good references. Address C. C, to care
WHEN you want to hire a man or boy,
call un Y. M. C A., telephone SU. w
have a list of men and confidential ref
erences concerning them. T. M. C. A.
Employment Bureau. 117 East Elrhta St.
WANTED FEUAIiB HELP.
WANTED Experienced woman for gen
eral housework to go to Indian Terri
tory. Mrs. Soper, S27 Topeka ave.
WANTED A girl for light housework; no
washing; small family. Call at 82i North
Tyler at. after 6 o'clock.
WANTED MALE HELP.
WANTED An experienced Are insurance
man capable of handling office and
earning J100 per month: must invest J200
guarantee ef good faith. An excellent
opening for right party. Address "Insur
ance," care Journal.
WANTED Men to learn barber trade;
only 8 weeks required. Special induce
ments for 38 days; can earn scholarship,
board. tools. transportation and wages Sat
urdays, if desired. Positions guaranteed:
catalogue free. Write, Moler Barber col
lege, St. Louis, Mo.. ,
WANTED MISCELLANEO U3.
WANTED A good driving horse. Call 123J
North Van Buren st, Wednesday eve..
TRUSSES fitted to women - FREE at
Smith Co.'s Thursday. Friday and Sat
urday, 2 to 3 p. m. Lady assistant.
WANTED Horses to beard ; best of care.
Livery at reasonable rates, delivered to
any part of city. Stables 617 and 619 West
Tenth St., G. V. Stamey, prop.
FOE RENT ROOMS.
FOR RENT 2 unfurnished rooms south
west corner 6th and Polk sts.
FOR RENT 2 large furnished rooms. In
quire southwest corner 6th and Polk St.
FOR RENT HOUSES.
FOR RENT 6 room houses, all conven
iences, barn, etc., Emmett St., W. See
Charles G. Dodds, 3 Kaw St.
FOR RENT 2 houses. 6 and g rooms.
modern, and paved streets. 1102 and 1110
Quincy at. John Ritchie.
FOR RENT 9 room house, modern, fur
nished or unfurnished. 700 Western ave.
FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS.
FOR SALE 2 buggies and harness.
winneia ave., oaitiana. -
FOR SALE Cheap, 1 square piano, ill
Chandler st. -
FOR SALE OR RENT House and lota.
inquire ilia winneid. ave., Oakland, nan.
FOR SALE Oood clean stock of groceries
eood trade: other business reasons for
selling. Call 1701 Kansas, avo.
FOR SALE Cheap, lady's cape, almost
new. also iacket and coat. 7z3 Clav st.
Call mornings or after ft o'clock evenings.
FOR SALE For storage goods belonging
to M. C. Haas of Wichita, Kan., consist
ing of 1 cook stove and pipe, 1 lounge. C.
D. Skinner, S. W. corner th and Quincy,
Saturday at 2 p. m., January 4, 1902.
FOR SALE Horse, buggy and harness,
cheap. S. W. cor. Cth and Pslk sts. - .
FOR SALE The best bank counter In
Topeka and other furniture. May bt
seen at 816 Kansas ave. Address C C
Baker. 113 E. Eixhth St.
FOR BALE REAL ESTATE.
FOR SALE The Arlington hotel and liv
ery stable, also other property adjoin
ing. Address A. Sharp, Blue Rapids, Kan.
Acre tracts on West Sixth and West
Tenth sts., close in.
FRANK J. BROWN,
17 Columbian Blag.
FOR SALE By M. Keery, 328 Monroe at,
houses and lota on time payments.
well live altogether in one room and
refuse to see any human creature, but
as matters stand (owing, I suppose, to
the "smart" Journalist's greed for
"copy") I can neither walk, drive, talk
or entertain friends without being made
the subject of a paragraph, by which
the paragraphia t poMibly may maka
half a crown. I do not grudge him (or
her) the money, but I would pay more
than a dozen half crowns to bo let
alone. MARIE COKELLI.
QUEER GEORGIA ITEMS.
From the Atlanta Constitution.
"The supper for the benefit of the new
church lightning rod was a grand suc
cess." "A dinner in the interest of the scheol
house bell was gen en Wednesday
"A strawberry festival for the bene
fit of the town cemetery is aoheduled
for the near future."
"Tomorrow a barbecue will be given
for the new courthouse stepa."
A WRECK. , '
From the Detroit Journal.!
We contemplated the alcoholic wreck
with unmingled pity.
"A sinking chip indeed!" wa ex
claimed. "But the rats do not leave met"
shrieked the fellow, gesturing wildly.
We extende to- him the helping hand,
of course, but he shrank away, mistak
ing this for a pink elephant.
A Dead Heat With On Entry. . ,
From the, Philadelphia Presa.J .
""What's the funniest thing ' I ever
saw?" repeated the gentleman of aport
ing tendencies. -"Well, I guesa it was a
dead heat in an event where there -was
only one -entry." "How in the world
was that?" came from the other end
of the store and when the answer
came, "A cremation," the questioner
ordered the drinks.
TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN T hereby
give notice that I will not bo responsible
for debts contracted by my wile, Mrs.
Mary J. McGuire. J. C. MoUuire.
TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN My np
plication for a permit to sell intoxicat
ing liquors, according to law, st 12 and
124 East Fourth street, in the Second
ward of the city of Topeka, is now on file
In the office of the probate Jurtee of
Shawnee county, Kan. The hearing ot
the same is set for Friday st o'clock a.
ta., Jaauary 14, 1902.
M- A. FT7NCHES3.
TO WHOM IT MAT CONCERN My ap
plication tor a permit to sell intoxicat
ing liquors, according to law. t 11 East
Sixth St., in the Second ward of the eity
of Topeka, is now on file in the office of
the probate judge of Shawnee county,
Kansas. The bearing of the same is set
for Thursday at t o'clock a. m., January
I, 1902. J. HBMRIETTA.
LOST AND KDHD.
LOST Monday a. m. a small gold clas
pin (C. H. 8. '01). Please return to fc2
Tyler st. or telephorfe SOI.
LOST A lady's black fur collarette be
tween Pot win tnii Clay st. on th st.
Return to tho Jewel grocery, SM W. ith.
RUNKENNESS CURED Guaranteed.
no injury, no publicity. Call Topeka ho
tel, room 2, 6th and Jackson sts.
BEST for you because best made. Satin
Skin Cream and Powder. Sbd. L'so la
proof. Now Model.
THE OFFICE of the Capita! C!ty Vitri
fied Brick and Paving Co. haa boon re
moved to 11 West Eighth st.
' , L 9
STAMPS, SEALS AND STENOILS
THE S. C. DARLINO CO.. 7S4 Ksn. Avo.
Rubber stamps, brass and aluminum trade
checks. Prices low. Catalogue f roe. Tel. Ms.
Co., packs, shiDS ane stores housebote
goods. Tel. tfft. Clarence Skinner. W M.
Sixth at. .
FREE . DISPENSART. 12S Kansas v..
north of 1st St.. under management of
seven Topeka physicians, where those
who are unable to pay for medical troet
ment may have the same free ef charge.
BR j. ALpEHT BERRY, tU Kansas
ave.. tel. 7 Diseases ot tne organs ex
digestion, including the mouth, int.
threat, stomach and intestines.
FARM LOANS Low rate, best terms,
to 10 years; privilege to pay la full er
In partial payments before due. Leans
can be closed at enoe. Call en er -write
The Kansas Mutual Life Ins. Co.. 701
Jackson st.. Topeka, Kas.
TO LOAN Money on Topeka real estate.
Pay back monthly. Low interest rets.
Shawnee Building and Loan Association.
See Eastman at 115 West Sixth st.
MONET TO LOAN en live stock, piano.
organs, typewriters, household roods one
personal security. L. Biscee. 622 Kan. ave.
ATTORN 3ETB-AT-LA W.
TTDrHJMFHRYTUwyer! has r
- moved his office to 604 Kansas ave.
WATCHES cleaned, 75c: clocks, sec: main
springs, 7dc: crystals, loc. tJasn paia lor
old gold or silver. All work guaranteed.
Old jewelry exchanged for new. It hard
up. see Uncle Sam, 12 Kansas eve
JAMES B. HATDEN, Jeweler end Opti
cian. Complete stock of watches, dia
monds, silverware, etc. Eyes examined
and spectacles properly fitted.
PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS.
IDA C. BARNES, M. D.
Office 728 Kansas ave. Residence Thlr.
teenth and Clay. Office hours: t a. m. to
11 a. m.. and t p. m. to 6 p. tm. Telephoae
68 residence and 1C office.
DR. EVA HARDING, Horoeopathist. 2
Kansas ave. Telephone 402.
SWITCHES, shampooing, wigs for Santa
Clause, etc Mrs. Van Vleck, 22J E. 6th
St. Tel. 7i.
TOPEKA CYCLE Co., 109-111 E. Ith t.
Tel. 7M. Bicycles and sundries ; eK-ycl.e
and tandems for rent; repairing ef all
U. S. CYCLE Co., lit E. 8th St. National
and Union bicycles. Sundries, repairs.
HIDES AND FURS.
wivtrb Hides and furs: highest rear-
ket price paid. 817 W. tfc St. T. J.
J. A. ROSEN Attorney and counselor In
patent, traaernara ana ropynim
Patents procured; trademarks registered.
Office, Rosen Building. 41 Kansas Ave.
MRS. J. R. HAOUE. Bonst, 117 Kansas
ave. 'Phone 02.
CUT FLOWERS and floral destg-na a
Hayes'. 17 West Eigath st. 'Phone Ui
. . , 3
SPECIAL SALE high grade candles until
Christmas, half price. KUS Kansas ave.
riiv aell er trade runs: fine resalrina.
machine, patent models, sporting goods
E05 Kan. av. H. B. Howard. Goidca Rule.
RAILROAD TIME TABLES.
ROCK ISLAND ROUTE.
Texas Express No. 1......12:M pm
St. J. Topeka No. 139.12:4opm
Night Colo, r jyer . ouujjra
Night Texas Ex. No. 3.. .31 :45 pm 12:01am
8. W. Express rno. at v"
K. C. Chickasha No. 35 S JU am
4 :20 a m
Eastbound Limited No. 2 3:30 pm
lopeka & St. Joe No. 14.
East Ex. & Mail No. 4.. 5:30 am
Col. & K. C. Flyer No. 10
Topeka A St. Joe No. 26.
r-hit Xr K.C. No. 36... 7:00 pm
All trains dally except No. 35 and Stt
daily except Sunday.
Den. PaC Coast No. B.12:W pm 12:3" pm
Limited No. 1 ll:lpm 11:10 m
June. City Pass. No. 3.. E:iu pm
Atlantic Ex. No. 4N 3:00 pm
Limited No. 2 5:itaOT
K. C. Pass. No. ( 8:06 am
Topeka -Ft- Scott Accoro.
No. 26 6:00 pm
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