TOPEKA STATE JOITRNAXh SATURDAY EVENING. AUGUST 2 1902,
Better When Old
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MR. BOWSER S APPETITE.
THE MOESER ICE AND COLD STORAGE CO.
2nd and Polk Streets, Topeka, Kansas.
Manufacturers and Wholesalers of ICE.
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Say "TIN TAG"
to your grocer and you will get the largest
and best loaf of bread in the city. ' :
Insist on getting your tags save ioo bring
them to the store and we will give you your
choice of any layer cake in the house.
Don't say " No " until you have tried it. Over
ioo cakes given away during June at I
113 East Sixth Street.
. aa.m :.: f j 1 1 t t 1 1
J. Thomas & Son's
North Topeka, Kansas.
t Telephone 422-3.
4.. 4 4 t
It Longs For the Head Cheese of
(Copyright, 1902, by C. B. Lewis.)
When Mr. Bowser sat down to din
ner the other evening, he looked about
him in a dissatisfied way, and to Mrs.
Bowser's inquiries as to what was the
matter he replied:
"The fact is I have no appetite and
don't care whether I eat or not."
'But your appetite has been all right
up to just now. Have you been drink
ing a large quantity of buttermilk this
"What have I got to do with butter
milk?" he demanded in loud tones. "Do
you imagine I go around guzzling down
116 West FiftH Street.
Telephone 488 2 Rings.
I" Horses called for and delivered to
any part of the city. "
"WHAT HAVE I GOT TO DO WITH
- BUTTERMILK?" -
stuff like a hog? I tell you my appe
tite is off and wants to be coaxed back.
The eternal sameness of your dinners
"I will have pork and beans tomor
row." "Then you'll eat 'em all yourself.
You don't seem to understand that I'm
no lumberman or day laborer." -;
"If your appetite craves any particu
lar things why don't you tell me and
let me get it?" asked Mrs. Bowser.
"Well, I want some head cheese. It's
just possible that you may have heard
of such a dish some time in your life."
"Yes, I have. Our mothers used to
"Yes, our dear old mothers used t
make it," sighed Mr. Bowser, "and if
I had a pound or two tonight it would
sharpen my appetite up like a razor.
Oh, for the little delicacies of bygone
"You mean the grease of bygone
days There is nothing more greasy
and hearty than head cheese."
"I mean what I mean. Head cheese
is a delicacy. You'd deny it on general
principles, of course, but if you had a
proper interest in your table you'd see
that such -tidbits were placed before
Mrs. Bowser said no more, but she
determined to set out next morning
and find head cheese if any butcher
made it, and she'd have at least seven
dishes of it on the table for dinner.
After dinner .Mr. Bowser sat down to
smoke and read, but at the end of five
minutes got up to walk around and
"By George, but I'm dying -for a
out of head -cheese, and he returned
home to say to Mrs. Bowser:
"They can all go to thunder, and 1 11
sell this house and move out of the
neighborhood the first chance I get!
The idea that there is no head cheese
to be found within a mile of us! It's
a Jay town, that's what."
'I'll leave an order with some butch
er tomorrow," said Mrs. Bowser. . "I
have no doubt he'll make np a small
quantity to order."
"But I want it tonight and can't
sleep without it - If you were a true
wife, you'd have my interests at
'Could I tell that you would sudden
ly crave for head cheese?"
'Certainly you could, but you were
looking out for yourself. How is the J
"I don't believe I know."
"And why not? It is your business
to know. Suppose I said I didn't know,
how to saw a board in two?"
"I I think there's pork and grease
in it" she faltered.
"And you may think there's tar and
gravel in it also. By John, but the
woman of today has about as much
idea of housekeeping as a cat has or
playing the .piano! It is costing me
millions of dollars a year to run this
house, and yet if I want a pound of
head cheese I can't get it!"
Mrs. Bowser felt helpless in the mat
ter and therefore wanted to drop the
subject, but after walking about for a
few minutes and glaring at the cat In
a way to make the poor feline shiver
Mr. Bowser suddenly declared:
"I believe I can make the stuff my
self." v .
"I don't see how you can."
"No, of course not. But I do, and
I'm going down to the kitchen. Should
you want. to go to bed before I get
through don't wait for me." -- .
He went down ' to the kitchen and
the icebox, and in the latter he found
some ; cold - beefsteak, cold potatoes,
eggs, celery,'- -radishes, bananas and
cheese.' For a minute he stood and let
his mind wander back to bygone days,
but he couldn't remember how his
mother made the dish he craved for.
He had a dim recollection that she
mixed things up and used a bowl and
2. chopping knife, and that was what
he proceeded to do. If he used beef,
there would be no grease, and If he
threw in the rest of the ingredients he
would have a salad out of it anyhow.
As he chopped away at the beef he
added the other things one at a time,
and in the course of half an hour he
scraped all into a dish, poured on olive
oil and vinegar and peppered and salt
ed it to his taste.
"By John, but I've struck it!" he
softly exclaimed as he carried the first
spoonful to his mouth. "This is the
stuff to sharpen the appetite and make
a man feel as if he could eat nails. It's
head cheese and way beyond, and 1 be
lieve if I was to put it up in paper
boxes it would sell like hot cakes."
Mr. Bowser ate heartily. Whenever
his appetite hesitated, he added a little
more vinegar and set the wheels going
again. Toward the last he found a Ber
muda onion and a part of a pineapple
and added them to the contents, and
he enthusiastically decided that they
increased the "twang." When he could
hold no more, he went up to the sitting
room. Mrs. Bowser had gone up stairs,
and he sat down to finish his smoke
and newspaper. All went well for a
quarter of an hour, and a cricket was
singing on the hearth and the cat rub
bing against his legs when a sudden
pain seized him. It lasted only two or
three seconds, but by the time he had
sunk back in his chair it came again.
and this time it lifted him to his feet.
The cat looked up at him in wonder,
"WOMAN, TELEPHONE FOR THE DOCTOR!"
taste of head cheese! I wonder if it
can be had in the butcher shops." "
"I think I've seen it at the butcher's,
but it was in the winter," replied Mrs.
Bowser. "Such heavy stuff as that
cannot be the thing to eat at this sea
son of the year." ,
"Season be hanged! There's no more
season for head cheese than for straw
berry jam. I'm going out to look for
Mr. , Bowser went to the nearest
butcher's and asked for head cheese,
and after a look at him the butcher
"I quit making it two months ago.
It's too late in the season."
"How too late?"
"Too hearty and greasy, yon know,
for spring." ,
"That's all bosh. When I was a boy,
we nsed to have it the year round."
"And maybe you had boils and pim
ples the year round. You might try
Mr. Bowser glared at him and felt
his gorge rise, but managed to hang
on to himself and back out He called
at two more shops, but they were also
and he had doubts whether it was the
toothache or a new corn. Not for long.
however. The next pain humped him
up and twisted him around, and lifted
his heels, and he yelled for Mrs. Bow
ser and fell upon the lounge.
"Well?" she asked as she came down
'""I I've got awful pains! he gasped.
"What did you eat?"
"M-most everything. It must be i
case of bilious colic. Lord, bnt how I
suffer! Say, I'm a dead man!"
"I never heard of head cheese killing
"But it's killing me! Ouch! Woof:
Woman, telephone for the doctor or I
won't live an hourl By gum! By thun
der! By John!"
Half an hour later the doctor arrived,
and he worked over the patient for a
long hour before he was ready to go.
He had his hat ,on when Mr. Bowser
"D-doctor. will I 1-live?" "
Oh,' yes," was the cheerful reply.
"Yes; an ass always lives to be sixty
years old, no matter what he eats, and
I believe you are only fifty 1"
An Hoar Too Late.
f From the Free Lance. 1
The Man of Science walked up the
street with a dazed look in his face. ,
Some one had been talking .to him
some on who wasn't a man of science
but a Woman of the World, which is
quite another thing. She hadtalked in
the rapid, bewildering way that her
kind affects. At first the Man of ScU
ence hadn't attended much, being deep
at the time in the mental speculation
as to the effects of certain bacilli on a
given ground in a given temperature.
But eventually he did listen, because it
was borne upon him that this creature,
who didn't know the difference between
Schizomycetes and Schizophyta, was
actually presuming to lecture him!
'Look here, doctor, it's all very well.
You may know all that's worth know
ing about hearts and brains and all that
sort of thing, but so far as human na
ture goes you're a fool. There's that
pretty little wife of yours, for instance.
eating out her heart and straining her
sensitive brain for a bit of human com
panionship, a scrap of human love.
while you go about looking at your
fellow men yes, at her, too, I dare say
merely as probable subjects for your
Those were her actual words, and
before the doctor had sufficiently re
covered from his indignation to speak
she had whisked away, with a flushed
face, a panting chest and an irritating
frou-frou" of silken skirts. Yes, but
her last remark the remark thrown at
him over her shoulder as she disappear
"You deserve to lose her, and I hope
The Man of Science gazed after her
for full 10 minutes. "You deserve to
lose her, and I hope you wilL" The
doctor trembled; then he clenched his
nands ana unclenched them again.
What did she mean? Lose her, indeed!
Kosie was in perfect health. Why, he
had registered her pulse only yesterday
to use It as an example in the booK
he was writing and to compare it with
other and less steady pulses. Did she
mean to insinuate that he wasn t at
tentive enough? Rosie had never oom
Dlained. and surelv women always did
complain when they 'were miserable.
He made an effort to throw off the
vague alarm which possessed him and
to go back comfortably to the bacilli.
But he couldn't for, once in a way.
they got on his nerves.
To calm himself he stonoed a- boy
and bought a copy of a daily papei.
noping to nnd in it tne finish or a
scientific discussion. He made an effort
to read it as he walked. Generally he
read better so than at other times, but
now he found himself staring at the
date on the first page over and over
again, June the 10th. There was some
thing in his mind that he associated
with June the 10th. Was it on that dav
that he had made his famous dis
covery? No, of course not! It was the
day on which he had married Rosie
Roeie all pink and. white and trusting
Rosie fresh from her country home
Rosie as frolicsome and beguiling as a
young kitten, i For the first few months
it was almost delightful to have his.
precious books thrown across the room
into a far corner, and to find Rosie
perching oil his knee instead. But af
terward well; perhaps afterward he
had been a little preoccupied. Fame
was very absorbing. Had there been
room for fame and Rosie in his life of
A sudden tenderness overwhelmed him.
Little things that he had fore-otten surg
ed into his memory. He saw himself
sicK, well nigh unto death, and he saw
the strained, anxious look in Rosie's
child-eyes. He remembered that, in
spite of the best nurses to be procured
for money, she. herself had never left
him day or night- He recalled, with a
pang, their early married life bow she
would sit up with him in his study not
tne luxurious sanctum it was now, but
a tiny, shabby room till the gray dawn
crept, through the blinds, and made her
look gray too, while he worked on, un
heeding time or companionship.
The better the day. the better the
deed. June 10th his wedding day his
and Rosie's. Let science take care of
itself for awhile. The woman was right;
now, at once, he would make amends to
His usually brisk footsteps had
brought him to the corner of Bond
street, opposite a big shop where gems
of all kinds dazzled the gaze. He hesi
tated, straightened his round shoulders
and pushed open the glass door.
"A diamond bracelet, please; the best
In ten minutes more the Scientific
Man had completed his unscientific pur
chase, and was tramping out of the
shop, with a smart velvet case in his
pocket, and a pleasurable warm glow of
excitement about him that transformed
his thin face and made it human.
Half an hour later he thrust aside the
astonished butler and hurried up the
stairs of his own house to his wife's
boudoir. He felt a boy again and a
reckless, happy boy, too! He hoped she
would be- out, and she was; so he ex
tracted the velvet case and arranged
it. on a small window table, placing it
where the sun's rays caught its content
best. Then he stood back, almost
trembling, to admire it.
"Prof. Steinway to see you, sir," said
the butler at the door.
"Tell him," said the Man of Science,
without turning round, "tell him that
His eye hoved round the room. He
felt wanton now that he had let him
self go, and coveted fresh worlds to
conquer; in other words, fresh surprises
that should greet Rosie on her return.
Flowers! Happy idea! Women al
ways liked flowers. He was rushing
out in quest of some when a small iink
envelope, lyiAg on another table near
the door, caught his eye an envelope
with his own name inscribed in Rosie's
rounded writing. He picked it up quick
ly, and, with a strange feeling in bis
throat as of sudden suffocation, he tore
import. Then he read it again slowly,
twice, thrice, then he put it down, still
slowly, and glanced at the clock. It was
exactly four, and on the first nage of
the letter in the corner Rosie had writ
ten "3 p. m." A curious pallor spread
it open. At first he didn't gather its
over his face. He took the bracelet from
Its case, and? dashing it on the floor, he
ground it under his heel asain and
again till it was a worthless, shameless
Then he went downstairs to his study,
locked himself in, and read on and on,
page after page, until far into the next
And no one ever suspected; no one
ever knew. They thought afterward
that he had found the bracelet and had
vented his fury on it because it was
the price of blood.
"Well," said the Woman of the World,
as she stirred her tea thoughtfully three
days later, "I did warn him I shall al
ways pride myself on that But of
course, he didn't believe me, and equal
ly, of course, he doesn't care. I always
said there was some horrid mechanical
contrivance-in his chest instead of a
But even a woman of the world makes
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