The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 25, 1905, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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. PAILY STATE-JOURNAL. UOITD AY. NIGHT.
i W A S 1 ATij J v L It j ALa
EY FRANK P. MAC 1XNXAN.
Istntetl tor Every Day In the Tear.
(S.ntered July 1. 3WS. second e!ui
tra?ttr at the pcatoffice at Tcpeka. ICan.
ni'fr tha fcct of con graaa.)
VOLUME XXXII ...No. 317
OflicinI Paper City of Tcpelca.
OiTidal Paper Kansas State Iteration
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The State Journal !s a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for exclusive evening publi
cation In Topeka.
The B'ata Journal receives for exclusive
Publication the leased wire report of tn
Publishers' Press for the edition for Sun
Cay morning;.
The news is received In the State Jour
nal building over wl?es for this sole pur
pose. ,
Of what practical use is an insur
ance president anyway.
Wonder if the czar got a nice, fat
Isomb in his Christmas stocking.
Netr York's superintendent of In
surance is also having a hard time
explaining some things.
If Mr. Roosevelt wishes to under
take a real reform, why doesn't he try
to abolish these Christmas . shopping
rushes?
Among others who did not receive a
Jitile Christmas reminder from Sen
ator Burton today was Senator Bailey
of Texas.
You w'ill notice that millionaires
never endow theaters. Some of them
do the next thing, however. They
marry actresses.
George Dewey and Lillian Russell
were married out in central Kansas
last week, but there was no actress
scandal connected with it. -
Things do not seem as calm and
peaceful between the city attorney and
some of the councilmen as they should
at this glad Christmastide.
The anthracite coal strike next year
really won't make so much difference
to Topeka. If Mr. Baer shoves up the
price we can bum natural gas.
Senator Bailey says no senator be
lieves there are more than four dis
honest members of the United States
senate. Who are the other three?
Odell charges that Roosevelt and
Higglns are trying to wreck the Re
publican party of New York. Odell
evidently considers himself the Repub
lican party.
The Chicago Tribune, in Its opposi
tion to public ownership, advances
this: "Public ownership of lead pen
cils has been tried in a Kansas school
and found to be n. g."
Very likely the senate will play to
standing room only oh the day that
Senator Spooner shows his new col
league, Senator LaFollette, the sena
torial ropes.
If it comes to a vote in the senate
on the question of expelling the senior
senator from Kansas, the country will
watch with interest the way the sen
ators from New York vote.
It is said that Admiral Togo will
come to this country next year with a
fleet, just for a friendly call. If he
will sail up the Kaw to Topeka we will
try to show him a real good time.
The Phillipsburg Dispatch thinks it
is about time the newspapers quit
paragraphing the insurance presidents.
That's so. They have had about all the
free advertising they are entitled to.
One of the Christmas presents sche
duled for a Junction City boy today
is a Colorado burro. It reached Junc
tion a day or two ago and when it was
unloaded from the train it attracted as
much attention as a swell circus.
Perhaps Mr. Harriman was hinting
to Mr. Ryan that he would like to
have a nice fat life insurance com
pany in his Christmas stocking, but
it's pretty safe to say he didn't get it.
Whoever first called Chauncey De
pew a "peach" knew what he was talk
ing about. And Judging from the way
Chauncey is hanging on to that seat in
the senate he is one of the cling
variety.
Since the live stock show in Chi
cago, the Tribune there has become so
enthusiastic over shows of live things
that it thinks a live burglar show
would prove highly popular, if it
could be given in conveniently ar
ranged cells.
Goner Davies: The Topeka Journal
inquiries: By the way do those Rus
sian rioters kiss one another before
starting a riot? Well, we don't know
about that, but we do know that if we
had to kiss the best looking Russian
we ever saw, there would be a riot
started right oft.
Ellis Garten solemnly affirms that a
Gray county cow has adopted a litter
of pigs. She first formed an attach
ment with only one of them, but after
wards fell in love with the whole
bunch, making as much fuss over them
bs over a young calf. Perhaps she had
reen some society woman with a pet
X-oodla.
THE CATTLEMEN'S DEFENSE.
vnne not mentioning his own
case or referring to it in any way, Sen
ator Fred Dumont Smith takes occa
sion to present. In the last issue of his
paper, the Kinsley Mercury, the de
fense of the cattlemen who have been
Indicted in connection with the land
cases in western Kansas. He says:
"The long and strong arm of the
federal government Is just now after
some of the cattlemen in Stevens and
Morton counties. Some ten or twelve
of them are under indictment for
illegally fencing government land.
Practically, they do not deny this but
they allege in defense that the neces
sities of the country compelled them
to- use this vacant land, or leave the
country and abandon their homes.
That they could not afford to fence
and water single holdings. Dealing
with the only class of cattle that suited
the country they must hold a sufficient
number, not less than a thousand head,
to afford to employ help to look after
them. To fence a single quarter or
even a section and put a watering
plant on it was too expensive. They
could only exist by fencing in large
tracts, the greater portion of which
they owned, but scattered through
which were here and there tracts of
government land. By so doing they
were enabled to handle herds that
made them a little money, not much,
and the title of 'cattle barons' applied
to them is as absurd as to call a Kan
sas congressman a duke. No one
wanted these lands, it. is not claimed
that any intending settler was ever ex
cluded from them, or any just object
of the homestead law infringed upon,
it was a mere technical violation of a
statute that had served its purpose
long ago. Not only that but It is
claimed and can be proven, that agent
after agent of the interior department
who visited that section and knew the
situation, promised : them that they
should have ample notice before their
fences were cut. That they should
not be disturbed until settlers desired
the lands. W'orking under that agree
ment they continued their industry,
the only one of which the country was
capable, and now without notice or
warning they are indicted, charged
with a serious offense, and face the
chances of fine and imprisonment. Not
only that but such papers as the To
peka Capital denounce them as crim
inals, land grabbers and perjurers.
Their claim of protection in their busi
ness Is scoffed at and they are held up
as examples of the Mitchell-Herman
type of land grabbers. The whole
matter is an outrage, an attempt to
brand the best citizens of that country
as outlaws and robbers, and the gov
ernment of the United States is in
mighty small business, when it ignores
the stupendous land frauds in Kansas
and lays its heavy hands on these
sturdy settlers who have been main
taining their homes under the most ad
verse circumstances and by the only
course possible."
Senator Smith makes a strong de
fense on the premises he lays down,
but there is this trouble with his
premises: The most flagrant offenders
among the "best citizens" and "sturdy
settlers" who have been indicted by
the grand jury', are rich residents of
other sections. They do not even live
in Kansas, but hire others to do their
work for them.
Another noticeable feature about
Senator Smith's defense is that what is
"a mere technical violation" of an
obsolete statute when the "sturdy set
tlers" committed it, becomes "a serious
offense" when the grandj jury charges
them with committing it. But that is
only natural, of course.
THE CASE OF IIUJIMEL.
It is an encouraging sign that a New
York lawyer, guilty of corruption, has
been summarily convicted and sentenced
to punishment for his wrong-doing. And
he was by no means one of the "small
fry." On the contrary he was recog
nized as one of the leading attorneys of
New York, a man of great prominence
in certain lines of litigation.
District Attorney Jerome said that
"Abe" Hummel had been a menace to
the law-abiding people of New York
for twenty years. He was sharp and
shrewd, but like too many attorneys,
he was not over-scrupulous in his
methods of winning his cases nor deal
ing with his clients. At last he was
caught in his dishonest practices and is
now facing a term in prison and a
heavy fine.
An attorney is, in theory, an officer
of the court. That is why he is "ad
mitted to the bar." Theoretically he is
supposed to aid the court in arriving at
a correct opinion and in dispensing
justice. In the practice of law it is cus
tomary for attorneys to present to the
court all the facts and legal opinions
on the side of their respective clients,
and when ail the facts and arguments
are before it the court renders its de
cision. But this is theory; and with too
many lawyers it is only theory. Their
practice, like that of "Abe" Hummel,
is entirely different. They resort to
tricks and subterfuges to gain a point.
They will do anything for a fee, not only
defeating the ends of justice in the
courts, but also accepting commissions
from oppressive trusts or dishonest in
dividuals to secure or defeat legislation
in law-making bodies.
Such lawyers are not indigenous to
New York alone; they exist in almost
every community. Many are of small
Importance, but there are others who,
like "Abe" Hummel, have achieved
prominence. It is these prominent at
torneys who resort to dishonest prac
tices, who are the greatest menace, for
they set the example which the lesser
lights follow.
It is therefore encouraging that the
courts of New York have set about rais
ing the standard of legal ethics. It is
to be hoped that the good work will be
carried forward until the legal profes
sion once more approaches the high
standard that should belong to it. There
are, it is true, many lawyers who would
scorn to do anything not strictly honor
able and who would not touch a fee
tainted in the least with corrup.ion and
injustice, but there are also ethers.
WHY THE DIFFERENCE.
A week or so ago William Allen
White reached over the boundary line
and took a few chips in the congres
sional game that is going on in . the
Second district. Mr. White took occa
sion to give a few brief words of ad
vice to W. R. Stubbs, telling him to
make up with Henry "Allen Instead of
fighting him so bitterly. One of Mr.
Stubbs' alleged organs at Lawrence
replied for Mr. Stubbs, intimating that
that gentleman is on a pedestal so high
and lofty that he could not think of
being friendly to a political sinner like
Hemy Allen.
It is recalled, however, that Mr.
Stubbs supported Tom Kelly with all
his might only a few months ago, al
though admitting privately that Kelly
was not straight. As it is somewhat
difficult to harmonize that with the po
sition he is now attempting to main
tain on a lofty pedestal of political
purity, Mr. White writes the follow
ing in the Emporia Gazette:
"The esteemed Lawrence Journal
swells its shirt front with pride, and
replies to the Gazette that Stubbs
would not make friends with Henry
Allen and help Allen to the congress
man because he is unfit for the job of
congressman. The Lawrence Journal
chestily declares that the time for that
kind of thing is past. Let us fondly
hope that it is past. Let us fondly
hope that when Stubbs made a deal
looking to the nomination of Tom Kel
ly, whom he knew to be an improper
person, and whose money Stubbs took
to nominate Hoch let us hope when
Stubbs did that he learned his lesson.
And yet at that time Mr. Stubbs was
professing his complete political re
generation and redemption and his
complete purification from all sin,
when he joined up with Tom Kelly
just as he is now. The Gazette ad
mires Stubbs, and believes he is hon
est, but his friends have a way of
making statements about him that
make him appear a very cheap hypo
crite. "Everyone in Kansas knows that
Henry Allen is far superior to Tom
Kelly, with whom Stubbs allied him
self for political purposes. And Stubbs
would probably frankly say so. The
Gazette does not believe that Stubbs
should support Allen for congress: but
he should treat him decently, and make
it possible to get Allen's support for
Scott if Scott is nominated, or make
it possible for Stubbs to support .Allen
if Allen is nominated, without eating
too much dirt.
"Far be it from the Gazette to as
sume to dictate wisdom to the child
of the sun; but simply as a worm of
the dust who sees but little light, it
does seem to the Gazette, so long as
the subject has been opened again by
a defender of the prophet, that if
Stubbs could afford- to make a political
alliance with a dishonest man for a
worthy end: he can afford to emit quar
reling with an honest man for an
equally worthy purpose."
JOUiaUL ENTRIES
Governor Penny-packer is mad because
his picture was printed in a Philadelphia
paper, but if you ever saw Governor
Pennypacker you wouldn't blame him.
One of the sorest troubles of the aver
age small boy this morning was that his
stocking wasn t half large enough.
m m
Bill Doolittle is limping today. "Had
my leg pulled so hard - last -wee,'"' "he
explained.
Another good thing about 25-cent gas:
It isn't so hard on the pocketbook of
the man who has three daughters with
steadies.
A week from today will be a good time
for the railroads to again resolve to
abolish the rebates they don't give.
m
Nick Longworth's crimes are findine
him out. It has been discovered that he
plays the fiddle.
a a
Better be practicing on writing it 1906.
J AY HA WKER JOTS
The lid appears to be sliding off at
Salina again. At least it is claimed
that a big black snake was discovered
up there recently.
Jewell county is planning a b' wolf
hunt on New Year's day to eliminate
the coyotes. It will cover ten or
twelve square miles.
James Allen, of Cimarron, raised $200
worth of watermelons in his garden this
summer. Cimarron, you remember, is
away out in the shortgrass country.
A Smith county man found six dead
steers in his herd one morning last
week, and he can't figure out the cause.
They had been running in the stalks
for two weeks, but had apparently been
all right till they died.
Wamego has captured a horned rab
bit the first one that has been discov
ered for several years. The Times
thinks it is quite as interesting as the
four-legged fish or the cinder beetle of
the shortgrass country.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
Than Slimmer hppansp in n-inlnr tvA.,
don't look so thin.
Yon mav still h vnnnw v..,f
j .v. kJ IJ L JUl
fripnHs rlnn't thinlr crt if . .
red flannels and coal for Christmas.
This is the gratitude a man gets for
what he cives his -u-ifo chn
what on earth possessed him to buy
X Iltl t.
Thprp arp enme. ncnnu ...i ,
carry cheerfulness so far that they
..uum "tiuai.u puiiusopny irom the rat
in a trap.
There seem trt b D(nnn ...i
--- - --- - - " uLaaiuUB Wlltfll
it is improper to mention the cost: At a
funeral, and when on a honeymoon.
The combination of wealth and gen
erosity In a bachelor uncle beats this
fairy godmother business by a thou
sand miles.
Whpn it is rtrnrtaA
- - --- -i v o. mar
ried a rich man, how critical people are
of hpr clothes tho fire- Hm.
, v. nullity
home after her marriage!
In every hen yard there is one hen
that all the others pick on. Same way
in every family: There is one member
mat me unlets unite in aisiiKlng.
It is a eood idea to lav in cn.i a .-t-i.
of patience upon arising every morning
"i ii win not dc exnaustea when the
egg is over-inea at Dreaktast.
Perhaps one reason married men away
from home try to pass off as single is
that they want to kei he Blow from
the women as long as possibl. . ....
The only difference between a man's
Christmas buying and a woman's is
that a woman takes six weeks to get
her friends what they don't want, and a
man takes six minutes.
Pint tpae ai.-l . . i .
- ' - .. ' i woe luncilfons
having had their day, an . Atchison
nuiuaij- iiaB otriii. JliVlianonS out to a
Snnttpri Tea a n th,c?A t
" v. "..j "'" iivl invited say
that means there win be spots oa the
i-ium( as usual
F - i
I KANSAS COMMENT
SANTA CLAUS.
Santa Claus never grows old. His hair
was white many years ago, but he has
drunk at the fountain of perpetual
youth and his heart is forever young.
His radiant face smiles in childhood's
happy dreams, and his name is on the
lisping lips of little babes. From mystic
lands he comes, with jingling bells, and
little children shout their welcome. The
laughter of his voice ripples on the wind
and when the night is come they put
their little faces to the window pane
and peer into the dark that perchance
they might see him passing by. And
the old man too finds joy in the coming
of this saint of Christmas Time. The
grandchild on his knee listens open-eyed
to the old tale he tells again of the
reindeer and the sleigh and the bursting
pack, and the old man's heart grows
young again to see the clapping of dim
pled hands. And yet regardless of the
joy and happiness he brings, some folks
of crabbed soul declare there is no San
ta Claus. There is no Santa Claus?
Oh, ye of little faith! The man alone
who looks but on the cold and sombre
side of life; for whom reality consists
but in the things that he can grasp with
sordid hands, will say there is no Santa
Claus. There 13 a Santa Claus, and to
those whose hearts are tuned to catch
the music of the world his friendship is
a great delight. And so he comes again
with laughter and with cheer and the
world is brighter for his coming.
Marion Record.
ENFORCINGPROHIBITION.
Gradually the prohibition law is weav
ing itself into mosquito tight meshes
and the defendant and the witness must
know something and answer intelligent
ly and fully just the same as in any
other lawsuit. Time was when the wit
ness could get funny or smart or idiotic.
It was fashionable to laugh with or at
such witness; he was more or less of
a hero. Now it is changed. There is
not much monkeying, very little more
than in ordinary suits. The other day
over in Ottawa county the owner of the
building in which a joint had been con
ducted was a witness and was asked
to whom he rented the building. The
witness refused to answer the question
on the constitutional grounds" that it
might incriminate himself. Judge Rees
held that the question must be answer
ed. And he did answer. Another judge
down in the southeast gets a list of
government licenses, turns if over to
the sheriff, and there is not a joint in
that district. The time is near when
the prohibition law can be enforced by
any set of officers who so intend. It
can then be enforced also by a mere
handful of determined citizens. Clay
Center Times.
o
A WARNING.
Half a dozen merchants in this town
have notices in the paper this week to
call in and settle up before the first of
the year. Unless some of you fellows
come in and square your accounts on
the books of this paper we may be writ
ing this column next week on the inside
of the county jail. Washington Repub
lican Register.
OLD KIND TAKEN.
A new fonn of money order has been
Introduced by Uncle Sam. ' However,
until further notice we will not refuse
any old kind of money orders. Belle
ville Telescope.
TRAIN WRECKING.
If all said about them should be true,
yet 'corporations ate -angels of "mercy
and .goodness ;beside.. the nian who will
wreck a train and thus endanger the
lives of hundreds of innocent people to
get revenge upon the railroad for fan
cied or real Injuries. In England and
other European countries the roads are
so guarded that train wreckers have no
chance to commit such murderous out
rages. It is coming to that in this coun
try. The losses occasioned by accidents
caused by train wrecks and other
causes which careful guarding would
prevent would more than pay the
guards. Holton Recorder.
FROM OTHER PENS
FLEAS AND PNEUMONIA.
Rats carry plague, mosquitoes yellow
fever, bedbugs scrofula, and now the
flea is dispensing pneumonia. That
means we should have less pneumonia
if we washed our unwashed. The rela
tion between flea bite us and phlebitis
Is undetermined. Brooklyn Eagle.
SHARPS.
A movement is on foot in New Jersey
to disbar "sharp" lawyers who try by
dragging in foolish technicalities to
thwart the ends of justice. This is en
couraging. The sharp" lawyer is a
costly luxury, and it is time to abolish
him. Chicago Record-Herald.
o
LIKES THE LIMELIGHT.
Fearing the papers were beginning to
neglect him, the sultan dons his coat of
mail and stops an assassin's bullet. The
bullet-proof coat is a fiction we have
always with us. Pittsburg Gazette.
o
A NEW BEATITUDE.
Blessed be the man or woman whose
Christmas bounty reaches out toward
lonely, obscure and unfortunate folk.
Not all of them are poor. The Congre
gationalism BETWEEN THE MILLSTONES.
The protest of Korea against being
swallowed by Japan recalls a remark
by Mr. Howells. He was asked during
the war, whether he sympathized with
Japan or with Russia. He replied: "I
sympathize with Korea." New York
Evening Post.
A HIT AT CONGRiLSSME?
Apparently, it would be an easier mat
ter to enforce discipline at Annapolis
if the underground wires at Washing
ton were cut. Philadelphia Inquirer.
DISCIPLINE AT ANNAPOLIS.
If the power of the nation cannot pre
vent fist fighting and hazing in a school
whose students are educated and sup
ported at public expense, how can
schools dependent on students who pay
for their education expect to enforce or
der and honor. Boston Herald.
PEONAGE.
A tale of white peonage comes from
Mississippi which enforces the old lesson
that a community which tolerates op
pression of the black man opens the
way to oppression of the white man.
Cruelty and tyranny are no respectors
of color. New York Tribune.
o
A GOOD EFFECT.
Thanks to the insurance investiga
tion there is no hesitation in nipping in
the bud anything that contains the pos
sibility of financial scandal. Those Chi
cago banks selected an in opportune mo
ment for straining their credit. Wash
ington Star.
o
TO THE-'RIGHT LAWYER!
All it cost the Bankers' Life to get a
good "atmosphere" at Albany was a
12.000 fee to the right lawyer. But, of
course, the Bankers' was a very small
company. Chicago Record-Herald, ,
CHRISTMAS TREASURES.
I count my treasures o'er with care
A little toy that taby knew,
A little sock of faded hue,
A little lock of golden hair.
Long years ago this Christmas-time
My little one my Ml to me
Sat, robed in whitf upon my knee,
And heard the merry Christmas chime.
"Tell me, my little goldn-head.
If Santa Claus should come tonight.
What shall he bring my baby bright.
What treasure for my boy?'- I said,
And then he named the little toy.
While in his round and truthful eyes
There came a look of glad surprise
That spoke his trustful, -jhiUlish joy.
And, as he lisped his ev'ninr prayer.
He asked the boon with baby gra'e.
And, toddling to the chicnnev-plaee,
He hung his little stocking there.
That night, as lengthening shadows crept;
I saw the white-winged angels come
With music to our humble home,
And kiss my darling as he slept.
They must have heard that baby prayer,
For in the morn, with glowing face.
He toddled to the chimnev place
And found the little treasure there.
They came again one Christmas-tide,
That angel host, so fair and white.
And, singing all the Christmas night,
They lured my darling from my side.
A little sock, a little tov.
A little lock of golden hair.
The Christmas music on the air,
A watching for my baby boy.
But if again that angel train
And golden-head come back to me.
To bear me to eternity.
My watching will not be in vain.
Eugene Field.
A Srrioker's Mistake.
Smokers have heard much, in these
days of microbes, of the disinfecting
powers of the fumes of tobacco; so
much, indeed, that the practice of
blowing a whiff of cigar smoke into
the speaking bell of the telephone to
discourage any germs that may be
lurking there has become a pretty gen
eral habit.
One frequent user of the 'phone,
however, is only now recovering from
the lesson which taught him, a few
weeks ago never to blow before he
looks, and it is probable that he will
not again be so windy, whether he
On the occasion in question the
smoker blew a whiff of fragrant Ha
vana into the 'phone, when there
emerged from the dark interior a
winged fury in the shape of a wasp,
which lit on the nose of the blower
and lost no time in make a lasting im
pression. In the suddenness of his retreat the
smoker knocked over a $30 vase, which
was smashed, and damaged a type
writing machine by letting the tele
phone receiver fall on it. The nose is
only now assuming its normal func
tions. Philadelphia Record.
Cow Didn't Look Well.
Assistant Attorney General Charles II.
Robb, who became famous by his work
in running down the postal grafters a
couple of years ago, began tl practice
of law 4ii a small village in Vermont,
says the Boston Herald. He knew all
the people of the town, as well as many
of the farmers In the surrounding coun
try. "One day," said Mr. Robb, "a tall,
lank Yankee came into my office. It
seems that he had got into trouble as a
result of trading a cow. He had suc
ceeded in palming off on an unsuspect
ing neighbor an uncertain looking ani
mal which proved to be stone blind. In
addition it was lean and run down gen
erally. On finding that the cow couldn't
see the farmer who had been imposed
upon brought suit against my client. I
questioned the man.
"'Did. you tell the farmer 'that the
flow .was blind? I asked.
" 'Indeed 1 did,' protested my client,
with a sheepish look. -I told him that
she didn't look well." "
Stirpes'! the Native.
John Roberts, the English billiard
player, has just returned from a trip to
Australia. One day he was in a small
city on tha big island when a local
player . entered the billiard room where
Roberts was. The local man did not
know Roberts. Some of his friends who
did put up a joke on the Australian.
Tin y wh:sp-re 1 to their unsuspecting
champion that the stranger in the cor
ner was a very good player, who might
be Rble. to give him a few points. The
provincial,. -was nothing loath, and re
quested Roberts to play a game of 100
with him. Roberts replied that ' he
would be pleased, and as to a handicap
he said he would reserve the right to frx
that after he had sepn the local man
play his first stroke. This offer was con
sidered a somewhat strange one by the
challenger, but he accepted it and open
ed the game with his usual miss. in balk.
Roberts then said, as he placed his ball
on the table, "I will give you 99," and
proceeded to run out wKh an unfinished
break of 100. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He Had the Bullet.
"When I was a little more inex
perienced than I am now," said an
army surgeon. "I had a very embar
rassing time performing an operation
on an officer who had been shot in the
abdomen. It was in the Cuban cam
paign, and after an engagement this
man came in suffering terribly from a
flesh wound below the ribs.
"I have hardly ever seen such a
calm endurance of such agony. He
positively refused to take anything to
put him out of consciousness. 'Blaze
away!' said he. So another assistant
and I went to work on him. After we
had puttered around for five minutes
with probes and scalpels, and when
our patient must have been wearied
with pain and loss of blood, he raised
his head enough to look at us.
" 'What In thunder are you fellows
doing?" said he. 'Why don't you get
busy and sew up that wound?'
" 'We are probing for the bullet,"
said I.
" 'Probing for the bullet!' he ex
claimed. 'Why, you idiots, I've got
the bullet here in my pocket!' "
Harper's Weekly.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
Even the lowly hog wants the lion's
share.
A woman's face may be a druggist's
fortune.
Many a man who smiles and says
nothing is a liar.
It takes a deaf mute to sing those
songs without words.
A man who profits by wrongdoing
always has an excuse ready.
Many a glum man smiles but only
the bartender sees him do it.
Women dress to please themselves
and to displease their neighbors.
When a man boasts of having sown
his wild oats he never pauses to explain
just what he means.
It costs twice as much to live now as
it did a hundred years ago but it's
worth every cent of the difference.
Many a man's excellent reputation
is due to the fact that his wife doesn't
tell all she happens to know.
Inventors seem to be getting the air
ship down fine but they still have
some trouble when it comes to getting
it up.
How often it happens that the cream
of society is made up of people who
have money but are unable to remem
ber how they g-ot it.
THE E VEHING STOR Y J
The Doctor's Christmas Gift.
(By Jeanne Olive Loizeaux.)
It was the afternoon of the twenty
fourth of December, and night was
beginning to fall, cold and cheerless.
The doctor stood at his office window
with his hands in his pockets and bit
the end of his cigar viciously as he
watched the lights come out, and the
street cars lunge and roll past with
their loads of happy folk finishing up
the last end of their shopping tours.
People were hurrying past on the
sidewalks below, and merriment and
holly seemed to be everywhere.
But the doctor hated it as he had
never hated festivities in all his thirty
two busy years, the years in which he
had worked his way through college
and medical school, and then through
more school in Europe. He was tired,
for all day his rooms had been filled
with waiting sick, and all day they had
filed from his consultation room with
hope or despair in their hearts. Philip
Antrim always told his patients and
himself the plain truth. He had
been called out several times that day
on long, cold drives, he had attended
faithfully to charity cases, but through
it all was that dull feeling of "What's
the use?" What was he doing it all
for? His people were all dead his
nearest relations were a few uninter
ested cousins. Who cared whether he
succeeded?
And all this discontent was because
of a girl's face, because he could not
forget the sweet, dark little head, the
pretty small figure of Marian Stelling.
Then he hated his brother physician
across the street, John Pembroke,
with whom he had been on such
friendly terms until a few months be
fore. After all. he thought, why
should he be angry at Pembroke? No
mortal man could help loving her, and
at first she had seemed impartial. The
doctor's bitter reverie of how she had
gradually seemed to prefer Pembroke,
and of how he himself had gone to
see her less and less, were broken by
the entrv of a bent old Irish woman.
"Oh, it's yerself, is it doctor? an' office
hours long past, too, an' it's wore out ye
look, an' I hate to ask ye to come see
my shmall Kathleen, but she's that sick,
the crather, an' nobody can put the life
in the wee ones like yerself, docther.
An' to think of it's bein' Christmas eve,
an' the choild sick, an' me not a cint to
pay ye wid till I wash fer it the week."
The tears ran down her face, but he re
assured her.
"It's all right, Mrs. Mulvaney. I'd
come if you never paid me a cent, but
I know you will, and I'll be along as
soon as ever I can close up here. What's
the number again?" She gave it to him,
and he noted instantly that it was on
a little side-street not far from Marian's
lovely home. That was another thing
that stood against him; he was young
and already becoming noted through
his skilful surgery, but he did much
work out of a kind heart and had saved
little. But Pembroke always had money
his profession was a pleasure,
and a necessity, and his practice was
among the very rich his old friends.
He was kind and gay, but he had never
been poor, and what could he know of
the sorrws of the poor? Mrs. Mul
vaney never would have gone to Penn
broke !
"All right, decthor, I'll be trottin' back
to the childer, an' come when ye're
ready it ain't sech a hurry, docther."
She went out and he closed his desk,
donned his coat and looked about him
before turning off the lights. It was
cheerless enough, but hardly less so
than -his- apartments in a fashionable
hotel, hardly more like home. Home!
he thought, and as his unseeing eyes
reveled in a dream home with Marian
in it some one opened the door. The
doctor turned and saw Pembroke. They
both stood rather embarrassed a mo
ment, and then Pembroke put out his
hand; the doctor took it.
"Look here, Antrim, we used to be
friendly, and we ought to be now
unless you have anything against me.
If you have, man, spit it out, and I'll
do my best to clear things out."
"I have nothing at all against you,
Pembroke. I am sure." He tried to be
cordial and he thought he spoke the
truth. Pembroke had as much yes,
more right to love her as he him
self. But Pembroke was not satisfied.
He went on:
"We're in the same set, and I re
spect your ability and like you, and
still I never meet you anywhere. You
turn down invitations, you shun the
club, and perhaps I'm a fool, but I
thought you avoided me! What have
I done? I have no right to say it, to
mention it, for I have no business to
assume that you care, but it has come
to me that peThaps you thought I had
not played fair with oh, hang it all,
man, I'm trying to say that I've al
ways been square about Miss Stel
ling! I haven't stood in your way, but
of course I love her, you can't blame
me for that, and I've done what I
could to win her fairly. This is
Christmas eve, and I am going to her
house to call her downstairs and ask
her flatly to marry me. I have no
idea whether or not she will. I have
even thought she liked you much
more, I thought I'd tell you. If you
say so I will let you go first if you
care to."
The doctor picked up his medicine
case and tried to think in a flash. His
first impulse was to tell Pembroke he
was mistaken and to send him about
his business, then he came back as
usual to the good solid truth. It was
fair of Pembroke and very generous.
"Well, I will not deny that I want
her. You know it anyhow, but she
seemed to care less and less about
seeing me, and I kept away for my
own peace of mind. I shall continue
to do so, Pembroke. I shall not see
her, and I wish you luck. You have
always had it," he added, a little bit
terly, "and that must be because you
deserve it. I have a hurry call on B
street and at the risk of seeming in
hospitable I must start."
"Well, thank you, Antrim, and I'll
walk part way with you. It's not
far from her house." The two walked
along in silence till they parted at
Marian's door, the doctor going on to
Mrs. Mulvaney's.
His knock at the door of the little
dirty house was answered not by its
mistress, but by Marian! He started
and paled he had not seen her for sev
eral months to speak to, and even he
had. failed to remember all her loveli
ness. She led him to the sick child on
the old sofa while Mrs. Mulvaney called
down Irish blessings cn her head for
coming to see her washerwoman's child,
for being an "angel" in general and a
"real neighbor" in particular, and for
the big basket of Christmas cheer she
had brought the children. The doctor
found nothing very serious the matter
with the child, left her some drops and
took up his case. Marian looked at him
doubtfully and then Mrs. Mulvaney
came to the rescue.
"Oh, docther, an' ye can take Miss
Marian home safe, for it ain't fit her
goin' alone!" And before he knew it he
felt the little hand on his arm, and was
walking gloriously down the snowy
street, telling her that he was very busy
in answer to her gentle reproaching that
she never saw him these days and
missed him. He could have sworn he
detected more than mere friendliness in
her blush when she opened the Mul
vaney door and saw him, but now he
dared not speak he could not be less
generous than Pembroke and take ad
vantage of this blessecS etiance meeting
to hinder him from his right to ask her
first. He walked as fast as he dared
and at her door steadfastly refused to
enter. She was hurt and showed 1. but
he hurried away. He knew Pembroke
awaited her within, and he went
wretchedly back to his office. He could
not have touched dinner and he would
study up that case of Brown's and try
to forget.
An hour later he sat with his head
iri his hands when the phone rang. He
rose wearily to answer It. It was Pem
broke's voice.
'Antrim," Pembroke said. "I am at
my office and in a hurry, and you must
do exactly as I say. Go to the Stelling
house immediately to see Miss Marian
she Is Injured and needs attention, i
also want to tell you you are biggest
idiot I ever met. Good-by,' hanging
up the receiver without waiting for a
reply.
Mystified, dazed, half angry, the doc
tor started. Could she be really in
jured? Had she fallen? If so, would
they have sent for him instead ot an
older, less Interested man? He board
ed the first car. He swung off and
hurried to the door. A servant met
him.
"This way, doctor," and he was ush
ered into a dim. lovely little sitting
room. Marian, flushed with glad eyes,
came toward him from , the glowing
hearth fire. He stood staring at her,
but she reached him both her hands;
then he took them and stammered out:
"Was Pembroke joking? He told
me to come here he said you were
Injured he " Her eyes suddenly
filled with tears.
"Oh," she said, "I am I am! It's
an old hurt " she put her hand to her
heart and looked away from him.
"Can't you see? John Pembroke told
me he said that you oh, Philip
must I say it?" He suddenly took her
into his arms and held her close, then
he put her into the big chair and knelt
beside her.
"Dearest do you mean it? Am I to
have you for "
"For a Christmas gift," she laughed
through a mist of tears. "I thought
you'd never come, never see! How
could I tell you ? Poor John, I'm sorry
about him," she said softly, and her
face sobered. Then she put her hands
on his shoulders where he still knelt.
She spoke slowly.
"I believe you're a good doctor,
Philip my heart is better already
better for the change."-
The doctor's answer was unspoken
(Copyright, 1905, by Ruby Douglas.)
HUMOR OF THE DAY
Teacher "Tommy, what is the name of
the largest known diamond?" Tommy
"The Ace." Cleveland Leader.
"Here!" shouted the depot official,
"what do you mean by throwing those
trunks around like that?"
The baggagemen gasped in astonish
ment and several travelers pinched them
selves to make sure that It was real. Then
the official spoke again to the baggage
man. "Don't you see that you are making big
dents in "this concrete platform? "Smart
Set.
"Well, after all," said Mrs. Nassret,
finally, "there's just one little bit o mil
linery that I desire most"
"And I tell you, I won't buy it for you,"
snapped Mr. Nagget.
"No, dear; you won't be here to pay
for it. It's a widow's bonnet." Phila
delphia Press.
"Did the photographer take a good pic
ture of the baby?'' asked the anxious
mother.
vSplendid!'' replied the father showing
the proofs. "He caught one of those ex
pressions when you can't tell whether
he's laughing or crying." Detroit Free
Press.
She The evil that men do always lives
after them, you know.
He Sure; but it's a good deal more un
comfortable when it gets after them.
Boston Transcript.
Gobang Do you think there Is any real
danger in the yellow peril?
I'kerdeck Oh, yes, of course. But the
red or black autos are just as bad. St.
Louis Post Dispatch.
Orville Tuffun How did youse guys
manage ter raise all dat disturbance wid
out gcttin' pinched?
Muggsy Dat was a cinch. W'enever
we seen a cop comin' de gang would give
a college yell. Den de cop would t'inic
we was students, an' go awsy. Cleveland
leader.
Mamie I believe in woman's rights.
Gertie Then you think every woman
should have a vote?
Mamie No; but I think every woman
should have a voter. Chicago Record
Herald. "Buy my Christmas presents early?Not
much. I always wait until the last mo
ment." "Why?"
"Because then I'm sure to forget some
thing and that's just so much saved."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She This is the time of the year when
a woman appreciates having a little mon
ey of her own.
Ho Urn. It's the time when her hus
band appreciates it, too. Detroit! Free
Press.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
The motor dealer's signature is not
necessarily auto-graft.
Most fellows would marry for love
if they felt they could afford It.
When a man Can't pay for his coal
ne expects it to oe put on the slate.
'A painter may feel that he is way
up in art when his pictures are skied.
Some people claim that heaven is
their home and then move every time
the rent comes due.
If the fool killer should ever really
get down to work the lawyers would
starve to death.
No, Maude, dear, a farmer doesn't
have to be a magician to turn a cow
into a ten acre lot.
It would take more than asbestos
lining to keep money from burning a
hole in some fellows' pockets.
Blobbs "I hear Easymark has been
operated on." Slobbs "On what'"
Blobbs "On the stock exchange."
The anecdotes of famous men
Are all right in their way;
Yet fame may oft' depend upon
The things we do not say.
Tommy "Pop, why do men swear
more than women?" Tommy's Pop
"Because, my son. the women don't
have to pay the bills."
"Love me little, love me long,"
Was the burden of his song;
But there is another sort:
"Will she love me when I'm short?"
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.
A mighty nice w ay to make money Is
to inherit it.
It is investment when you win, spec- '
ulation when you lose. '
One way a girl has of showing she
likes a man is to pretend she doesn't.
A boy is most as miserable over learn
ing to smoke as he is over wanting to
begin.
It's funny if a man went to a dinner
the night before and has a cold the next
day how suspicious everybody is about
what makes his voice hoarse.