The Topeka state journal. [volume], January 07, 1906, EDITION FOR SUNDAY, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
'HE- T0P2SA- DAIX.Y
STATE J0UB1TAS. SUNDAY HORNING.
'::::a state' iieml
- 1 n WX P. MAC LEXSAX
" - s - ! f'-r Every Day In the Year.
f v ntered July 1, 1S75, as second class
r -r i e postoffice at Topeka, Kan.,
' -' t ip a' t of congress. J
I T'MB XXXIII No- "t
O'.ciai Taper City ol Topeka.
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xiunv ton the editiox fok
M .MUY MOHXING.
The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
teif-erapU report of that great news or
ganization for exclusive evening publi
cation. The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wtr$ report of the
Publishers' Press for the Edition for Sun
day morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
nal building ever wires for this sole pur-roe.
H. H. Rogers is one of those birds
that can sing but won't.
The editor of the Square Deal, the
new paper at Atwood, evidently intends
to give it to his subscribers.
Chicago drove Yerkes out of town
and he got even by leaving his money
end art treasures to New York.
Attorney General Hadley has succeed
ed In leading the Standard horse to wa
ter but he can't make him drink.
The acreage of the candidate crop Is
large this year but the condition does
not appear to be above normal.
In the new double state to be formed
in the southwest, Arizona is to get the
name but New Mexico will have the
votes.
If the president's railroad policy shall
be enacted into law. Colonel Bryan may
conclude that it is not worth while to
return.
If Kansas City wishes a new union
depot why doesn't she go ahead and
build it and then charge the railroads
rent for using it?
Ohio Republicans are hoping for the
best, but they are afraid the world will
never survive having a Democratic gov
ernor in that state.
Another good result of the movement
of the railroads toward cutting off
passes might be the elimination of the
"fast mail" grafters.
The Indications are that General
Bingham, Mayor McClellan's new police
commissioner, will have trouble in liv
ing up to his advance notices.
A headline in the Chanute Sun says
a young woman down there was hit on
the head by a mortar board. And yet
in some places young -women wear
mortar boards on their heads.
Incidentally we would like to ask
what D. W. Blaine haa done with his
Auroaborealis and Equatorial canal
since he has started his shippers' as
sociation. He must have mislaid it.
Jacob H. Schiff, Wall street banker
&nd broker, is making a noise like a
man who wants to resuscitate the Pop
ulist party, but it may be that he is
merely on the bear side of the market.
During the recent financial flurry on
Wall street it appears that both the
bulls and the bears got after Secretary
Shaw. Each crowd tried to take him
into its own camp and he wisely took
to the Chicago woods.
The latest British peeress is Mrs.
Forbes-Leith, formerly . Miss Marie
Louise January of St. Louis. There is
no indication, however, that the former
Miss January is a relative of "January"
Jones, the Nevada Peer.
The managers and agents of "The
System" refuse to answer the questions
put to them by the attorney general of
Missouri. He should call Lawson if he
wants information regarding the opera
tions of the Standard Oil company.
There has been a great deal of fighting
going on in the last few years, but Ger
many has not been in any of it. Ger
many is aching so for a fight that she
Is liable to start one some of these days
whether she has any provocation or not.
Here's a good Joke for the farmers:
A decorative artist from New York
has been painting the mural decora
tions in the Iowa state house. Being
a rural state, the artist put a yoke of
oxen in the picture, but he put the
driver on the right that is, the wrong
side of the oxen. This may be para
doxical, but it is true, and the Iowa
farmers are laughing about it.
James W. W"adsworth, the new
f peaker of New York's general assem
by is a member of the "young crowd"
Bure enough. He was born in 1S77,
and graduated from Yale in 189S. In
cidentally he saw military service as a
private it Porto Rico and the Philip
pines. He owes his elevation to his
present position partly to the fact that
lie belongs to the small group of re
formers who brought about the legis
lative end of the present upheaval in
New York, and partly to his alliance
by marriage with the house of Hay.
II is a son-in-law of the late secretary
e ? stata.
A SERMON FOK TOfi V
A good name is rather to be cho
great riches. Proverbs 2:1:1.
than
This proverb of King Solomon isquot- ,
ed so often that it seems almost useless
to repeat it. Nearly every thinking
person w ill concede its truth in the ab- :
stract, yet so many, many men and
women, too deny it in practice that
Memory is strewn with the remem
brance of ruined lives and wrecked rep
utations, lost in the pursuit' of riches.
Probably very few people start in life
with the deliberate intention of sacri--flcing
their good names their reputa
tion for mere wealth. But they be
come intoxicated in the pursuit of
money, and when the temptation comes
to do something just a little wrong they
yield. Unfortunately for them, per
haps, their wrong-doing gains its end
and goes undiscovered. The temptation
to do something worse presents itself,
again they yield, and again they are not
found out. The practice grows little by
little, and In the same degree their
moral sense is blunted. Eventually they
do as a matter of course things which
the strictly honorable man would ab-;
hqr, and when the opportunity comes
to commit some absolute crime they are
easy victims.
Perhaps they are able to cover up
their crimes for years, but at last must
come a day of reckoning. Then the
whole miserable story is laid bare, and
they are scorned of men. No amount
of money can buy the respect of decent
people.
A conspicuous example of a man who
forfeited his good name for wealth and
then tried in vain to buy it back was
the late Charles T. Yerkes. Mr. Yerkes
had a natural gift for making money,
and even early in his career it led him
to be an accomplice in the misuse of
public funds, for which he was sent to
prison. Upon his release he determined
to retrieve his reputation, but he went
about it in the wrong way. His talent
and his passion for wealth-getting
led him to devote himself to the accum
ulation of riches, and while he ever af
terwards succeeded in keeping free from
the law, his moral sense was so blunted
that his methods were absolutely dis
reputable. In Chicago, where Yerkes made his
fame as a traction builder, he has left
behind him a reputation as one of the
worst of corruptionists. A Kansas boy
went to Chicago in 1S93 to see the
World's fair. At that time Yerkes was
dominating Chicago as a traction mag
nate, and the Chicago papers which he
did not control were full of denuncia
tion of him for stealing franchises from
the city by bribery and corruption. The
boy from the prairies was amazed that
the people of Chicago would allow a
man, whom everybody conceded was
guilty of the crimes of which he was
publicly accused daily in the newspa
pers, to go unpunished. And yet the
same thing has happened in Kansas'.
Yerkes piled millions upon millions
through his corruption in Chicago and
then he began to try to regain the re
spect of his fellow men. He turned his
attention to philanthropy. He aided
educational and scientific enterprises,
and newspapers that he controlled
praised him. But men would not re
spect him, nor would self-respecting
women receive his wife into their cir
cles. His blunted moral sense doubt
less made it difficult for him to dis
tinguish between right and wrong. He
left the scene of his corrupt successes
and went across the seas to accumulate
more millions, but still men refused
him the homage of their honor and
their respect.
The other day the end came to Charles
T. Yerkes; and along with the discovery
that he had left some of his millions to
philanthropy came the unmasking of his
private life that he had succeeded, in
a degree at least, in keeping hidden.
From all directions the gaunt skeletons
of iniquity came stalking forth and, not
withstanding his philanthropy, Charles
T. Yerkes went to his grave mote
scorned by the world than ever before.
The corruption practiced by Yerkes in
his business dealings may have had
nothing to do with his private life and
yet, as was pointed out in these col
umns not long ago, the man -who habit
ually breaks the eighth commandment
will not be troubled over a fracture of
the seventh and vice versa.
It is not Mr. Yerkes wealth that
makes his name a reproach among men
today, but it was the methods he used
to acquire it. Very likely with his great
talents he might have amassed a great
fortune and retained his good name and
the respect Of his fellows, but in his
haste for wealth he chose to sacrifice
his reputation.
It is better to come to the end of
one's life with little of this world's
goods but with the kindly feeling, the
respect and the good will of one's world,
than it is to. possess the wealth of a
Rockefeller if it must stand as a monu
ment of infamy, oppression and wrong
doing. AS TO "PROTECnO.V
The State Journal is in receipt of the
"address and resolutions" adopted at
the twentieth annual meeting of the
American Protective Tariff League,
which has its headquarters at No. 339
Broadway, New York. Along with the
address comes an inquiry as to whether
the State Journal is in favor of a pro
tective tariff.
The answer to this inquiry depends.
It may be affirmative and it may be
negative. It depends upon who is pro
tected, what he is protected from, and
to what extent.
This question of protection is largely
a question of locality. The Democratic
state of Louisiana comes close to being
in favor of a protective tariff because
the Louisiana sugar planters wish a
tariff on sugar that will operate against
the sugar from Cuba and allow them
to make a big profit. Ditto the beet
sugar trust which operates in Michi
gan, Colorado and California. The
shoe manufacturers of Massachusetts
are opposed to a tariff on hides and in
favor of a tariff on shoes, so that they
can buy low and sell high. The fruit
growers of Califorina are In favor of a
tariff on fruits to keep out those from
Mexico. Therefore one's views on the
tariff are apt to be shaped very largely
by one's locality and business.
The address of this Protective Tariff
League states that "seven years of re
stored prosDeritv" hava resulted "ai-
most wholly from the operations of a
Tariff law affording needful and ade
quate Protection" with a capital "P"
to industry. Not a word Is said
about good crops, or the wars that
have helped to make good prices, or
the great output of the mines, gold,
iron and others. These things had
nothing to do with prosperity. It was
"almost -wholly" the tariff.
In closing the address the league re
solves "that a tariff emanating from
the brains of theorists, reformers and
revisionists will prove an infinitely less
desirable tariff than the one we now
have."
Of course it will to the trusts who
are now protected in oppressing and
robbing the people. It is quite prob
able, that a tariff revised by men who
have the welfare of the people and not
of the steel trust and its allies at heart,
would prove infinitely more desirable
to the people than is the present tariff.
The State Journal believes in pro
tecting those industries that need it
sufficiently to allow them to build up
with a modest and reasonable profit,
but it does not believe in protecting the
steel trust, for instance, to the extent
that the trust is able to ship steel rails
to Europe and sell them at $20 a ton
while it "holds up" Americans for $28
a ton for the same rails right at home.
Perhaps it may be argued that the
Kansas farmer doesn't have to buy
steel rails, so what does he care? He
doesn't have to buy steel rails, but he
does have to buy farm implements,
and it works the same way there. The
steel trust gets at Cj: farmer through
the harvester trust. American farm
machinery is used all over the world,
but the Kansas farmer is made to pay
outrageous prices for the same imple
ments that are shipped to Europe and
sold in cpmpetition with home-made
machinery there.
We can see how the tariff on hides
-would be a good thing for the Kansas
cattleman, provided the theory worked
all right. It would give him a higher
price for his cattle. To be sure he
would pay more for his shoes, and his
harness and saddles, and other leather
goods, but what of that? He would
more than play even on the price of
his cattle provided the theory does
not slip a cog. But suppose the beef
trust steps in and gets control of the
cattle market, as many cattlemen say
it does, and suppose the beef trust
fixes the price of cattle just high
enough to keep the cattlemen going.
What difference does the tariff on hides
make to the cattleman then? The
beef trust sticks the increased price
of the hides down in its pocket, and the
cattleman goes on paying a high price
for his shoes and leather goods.
No, the State Journal's answer to
that question depends on whether the
trusts or the people are to be pro
tected, i
GEAZIXG LEASES.
Congressman Curtis introduced a bill
last week, as noted in Friday's State
Journal, "to permit grazing leases on
western lands."
The text of the bill is not yet at
hand, but such a measure can not be
too carefully watched. If it is in the
nature of the Lacey bill which pro
vides that a landholder may lease to
the amount of twenty times his hold
ings it should be killed. Indeed it
must be a very good bill indeed to
merit approval at all.
Never before since the civil war are
the eyes of the settler turned towards
western Kansas lands as they are to
day. If the government means to benefit
the largest number it will be careful
to keep open for the actual settler,
the small farmer, the few lands we
still have available for the purpose
rather than Dermit the big non-resident
cattle owner to fence whole sec
tions and parts of townships under
lease. The government is just now in
dicting these non-resident land owners
for fencing lands they do not own.
Is the Curtis bill to enable these
men to go on fencing the lands they
do not own, but under a rental law,
and thereby do legally what is illegal
now and keep out the small resident
owner?
A Year of Moral Awakening.
From the Chicago News.
If a nation's progress is to be reck
oned by its moral and intellectual con
dition the year just ended has been
uisuueuy one oi advancement. in a
large sense it has been a time of self
analysis ana seir questioning, of a
hstruggle toward better ideals, of a
widespread house cleaning movement
taking in all departments of public
life. Seldom has there been a twelve
month in which so many outwardly
imposing but unworthy idols have
been swept from their pedestals. Sel
dom has there been a period in which
the work of removing the coating of
respectability from whited sepulchers
has gone on at so brisk a pace. Men
of questionable standards of conduct
in business or politics, corrupt bosses,
"paragon bankers" and lawless cor
poration managers have been cast out
of public life or stamped with the
stigma of pubic reproach with stern
impartiality.
To assJime that this unsettling of
established tradition and demolition of
popular idols has been a destructive
process would be to misread wholly
one of the chief lessons of the year.
The downfall of the old regime means
merely that a better one is coming to
take its place. It means that the time
nas passea wnen any man or any
agency Having; money behind it can
command respect and continue to ex
ert power simply by putting on an im
posing front and placarding itself as
respectable. Some of the idols that
have fallen the hardest and made the
loudest crash were the most eminently
imposing of the lot. Not a few of the
men mixed tip in the New York in
surance scandals enployed the bound
less confidence of the public until
Lawyer Hughes began the inquisitorial
operations.
Much remains to be done, but the
people have reason to congratulate
themselves on the assurance that the
conditions at the opening of 1906 are
appreciably better than were those
prevailing at the opening of the pres
ent year. The moral tone of the
country is better. The public con
science is more sensitive. The men
who lead in civic and commercial life
are more fully awakened to a sense of
their responsibilities. Standards of
honor and honesty have been raised
and the reprobation falling on those
who fail to meet them has become
correspondingly severe. Altogether
the nation has reason to feel that the
year has been one o progress in. the
best sense and that the year to come
will see still further advancement
along the same lines.
To Reform Legislators.
From the Los Angeles Express.
For years the American people have
been familiar with, the spectacle of cer
tain citizens and corporations going be
fore legislative bodies and using money
and influence to obtain special priv
ileges. Concurrent with the develop
ment of this species of corruption there
have been the birth and growth of the
"cinch" legislator, the man who intro
duces bills aimed at corporations with
the intention of securing money to
prevent their passage.
Ordinarily this might be regarded as
an example of righteous retribution, but
the recent revelations before the insur
ance investigating committee in New
York show that the cash comes from
the pockets of policy holders, and thus
the common citizen" is robbed not only
of his money after he has earned it, but
is despoiled of his collective interest in
franchises for public utilities.
In his message to the Ohio legisla
ture Monday, retiring Governor Her
rick earnestly repeats his former rec
ommendation for legislation to prevent
lobbying, but he despairs of any pos
sible enactment which will act as a
bar to the operations of the blackmail
ing legislator who introduces "milking
bills for the purpose of extorting
money from special interests. The sole
remedy which occurs to him is public
expression of contempt for those who
engage in the pernicious practice.
evidently this is the next great ques
tion to engage the attention of the
American people. Public opinion is be
coming pretty well aroused on the sub
ject, but the remedy suggested by Gov
ernor Herricit does not seem to hold
much promise. Expressions of con
tempt do not usually bring dismay to
the average boodling legislator, and it
is extremely difficult to place such er-rine-
ones in strict retirement with a
suit of striped clothing. .
About the only remedy left to tne
people is the recall. The English use
it in turning governments out of office.
This is done often where there are no
overt acts or deep transgression, and
n instances where a cabinet simply
fails to retain the "confidence of the
people." This procedure might be ap
plied to the American legislator who is
suspected of "cinching or ' milking.
This method of reform, coupled with
Governor Folk's plan of treating lob
byists as ticket-of-leave men, might
have a purifying effect upon legislation
in the United States.
Beloit paid $212 one night recently
in solving the problem, "Was She to
Blame?" It might have spent more,
but the capacity of the opera house
was limited. And still the town is in
doubt about it.
M
There is this about the Topeka
Democratic Flambeau club: It is one
place where a Democrat can be elected
to office in Kansas.
.
The czar has about decided to do
something "drastic" to put down the
revolution. Can you imagine the czar
getting any more "drastic" than he
has been?
a
This is the day that those people
who resolved to go church more dur
ing 1906 will break that resolution.
It seems as though Mr. H. H. Rogers
ought to . take something for his
memory.
?
Alabama has a Phatt City. That
must be where all the tourist printers
go in the winter time.
m
This is the time of year when Oyster
Bay goes into a state of hibernation.
.
Among other things, there ought to
be a law prohibiting a man on a party
line asking: central to call him at
4:30 in the morning, and then refus
ing to answer the phone when he
wakes up.
An Arkansas City man thinks so much
of a pup that was stolen from him re
cently that he offers five dollars reward
for its return.
John Upton of Junction City has gone
to Hawaii in search of a new business
location, and failing to find one there
he will go on to Manila.
The Ottawa Republic made the state
ment Tuesday that it hadn't received a
single poem on the beautiful snow this
year. But the year was only two days
old then.
A former Wichita man now living in
T.ns Ane-eles claims he has personally
met two hundred people from Wichita
there this winter, among them, Senator
James W. Tapp.
Commenting on the fact that a Clay
rnimtv farmer has discovered a six
foot vein of talc, Tom Charles says a
Republic county farmer has too, only
he spells it "talk."
When a Sabetha young man called on
a certain young lady recently, accord
ing to the Herald, her 5-year-old broth
er came in to announce that his sister
was in her room but would be out in a
few minutes. The young man waited a
long time. When she did not appear he
asked the boy what his sister was do
ing "She is glowing her cheeks," said
the boy innocently.
Good bov story by Ralph Tennal: You
have often heard of children being
obliged to pick up their playthings, but
did you ever see one mat aid so r we
never aid until we mti naivej xiamco,
Harvev is brought up in the good old-
fashioned way to mind. He not only
nicks nn bis tovs and puts tnem away,
but he obliges his "company" to pick
up the things they get around.
The oeople of Dodge City did a kind
ly deed the other day. A Missouri man
had taken his family west for the bene
fit of his wife's health, but running out
of money he was obliged to return wun
them to Missouri. He had just money
enough to buy their tickets and pet
them home, but on the train the wife
died. The body was taken off at Dodge
City, but the poor man aid not nave
any funds with which to purchase a
casket for the body. As soon as this
fact was discovered, forty dollars was
quicklv raised by the people of Dodge
to provide the coffin, and ten dollars ad
ditional to help the sorrowinf husband
to take the body of his dead wife to
their old home for burial.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.
A girl at 16 likes men older than her
self; at 36. younger.
Every boy falls in love with his
schoolmarm, but none ever tries to
marry her.
There is hardly ever any fun in any
thing for a boy if his parents give him
permission to do it.
The only New Year's resolutions that
will be kept will be by those who re
solved not to make any.
There is something mighty nice about
a girl's giggle when she is doing it be
cause she is nervous over whether you
are eoing to kiss her against her will.
JQVIWAL EMTPJES
'' . I " ', I ,1 'l 1 I
JA YIIA WKER JOTS
EJUS AS COMMENT
SOME AMAZING MARRIAGES.
Don't be too free with your opinions
about marriage. We once knew a
drunken grass widower to marry a
sixteen-year-old girl and become a
splendid husband. A doctor of our
acquaintance quarreled and quarreled
with his wife and at midnight one
night she went to a neighbor's and
never returned because of his abuse ot
her. He married an old maid ten
years later, and the union has been
an ideal one. A deaf and dumb boy
who had had one arm taken off by the
cars afterwards married a grand
mother. After fully ten years he still
loves her dearly, and has her married
children, who are older than he is,
come to see him. A man whom we
have seen in the gutter a dozen times.
and who was deserted by his wife and
child because ne abused them and
would not support them, was after
wards married to an equal suffragist
lecturer. She reformed him and elect
ed him to the legislature. Often a
marriage which at first seems ill
advised turned out splendidly. Mar
riage is certainly a lottery, and the
best way is to let the contracting par
ties do the guessing. Sabetha Herald.
WHERE ENGLAND IS AHEAD.
They do some things better in Eng
land than we do here. For instance,
a member of parliament there will
not vote on any measure in any of
its stages of progress to enactment.
the passage of which will affect his
financial interests; that is, affect any
company in which he is a stockholder.
How many votes would be cast in the
senate of the United States if this were
the rule there? And this is not a
written, but an unwritten law, enforced
by public opinion among the members
or the parliament, the concrete ex
pression of the sentiment that such an
action is "bad form, don't you know."
That's all, and it's enough. It would
be a good thing for our senators and
representatives to adopt as their rule
of conduct. Olathe Mirror.
r
HOW TO DO IT.
The other day we had a "man come
to the office to tell us of a grievance
with the paper. He thought a great
injustice had been done him, and he
wanted it corrected. He was a perfect
gentleman, pleasant and agreeable
about his request, and do you know
that we rather liked the fellow before
he left. Did he get the Item correct-
led? Well, I guess he did. How many
or you ao as tnis young man aid wnen
you have a grievance with the news
paper? Very few newspapers ever
willfully and maliciously do a man
injustice; they can't afford to. If
they make a mistake they are willing
to correct it. Remember this the next
time you want a correction in the
paper. Belleville Freeman.
AN INDICATION.
It is usually true that when everything
else fails in attempting to check a can
diate's growing chances a story is start
ed that he is going to have trouble in
carrying his own county. That story
has been started about Henry Allen and
you can bet his opposition is scared.
La Cygne Journal.
o
DIFFERENT.
W. H. Barnes, the secretary of the
state board of horticulture, says that
the legislature nor the people appre
ciate his work. Must be something
lacking in Barnes; you notice that
there is no lack of appreciation of
Cobnrn's work. Belleville Freeman.
LONGWORTH'S SUPPORT.
As we understand it even if Congress
man Longworth refuses to support the
president's policies he is willing to make
a promise to support the president's
daughter. Parsons Sun.
FROM OTHER PENS
ATTRACTIONS OF THE FARM.
There are wonders on the farm more
attractive, rightly seen, than those oi
the city. But what farmer is careful
to open these gates to his children?
Burbank is as truly a great discoverer
as Columbus, but what effort is being
made to show the farmer boys of this
country the significance of his adven
turous journeyings from plant to
place? How many farmers are careful
to offer the boy the books of Lubboch
and his peers which would open to
them the fairyland of the worlds be
neath their feet? Make the country
pleasant and its attractions will keep
the boys and draw many back from the
cities. Florida Times-Union.
. -o
HE'LL GET IT YET.
The weatherman has thus far suc
ceeded in pleasing everybody but the
coal man; but the latter will have his
turn in the course of a short time, be
cause winter cannot be altogether de
nied. Milwaukee Wisconsin.
TAFT'S ADVANTAGE.
Secretary Taft is a great traveler, but
he has one advantage. It must be easy
for him to close his trunk, so that he
can lock it after he has got it packed.
Somerville Journal.
NOT FOR SANTOS.
Aeronaut Dumont denies the report
that he will accompany the crowd w hich
will attempt to fly to the pole. Santos
has proved that he is a brave man al
ready, and, besides, he hasn't lost any
north pole. Los Angeles Express.
GETTING GOOD.
Germany has apologized to Brazil,
Castro has backed down before France
and the sultan of Turkey Has gracious
ly agreed to reform. New York Com
mercial. o
GIVE HIM TIME.
It will be all right if In days to come
Mrs. Longworth doesn't give Nick the
deuce because he cannot provide her a
home like papa's. Philadelphia Tele
graph. WITH THEIR MONEY ANTWAY.
The precious sfones imported into this
country during the past year exceed in
value by more than $10,000,000 the total
imports for any other year. Probably
some of these gems were bought by
policyholders, too. Chicago Record
Herald. A SUGGESTION.
Perhaps Russia is merely working
herself up to a condition favorable to
the introduction of football into the
country. Atlanta Constitution.
NOT "LATELY" STARTED.
Speaking of the craze for long-distance
runs, do not overlook those lately
started by Messrs. Shaw and Fairbanks.
Chicago News.
TRUE ENOUGH!
The old truths are the truths we live
by, or ought to live by, and the truths
by which we have our best living. St.
Louis Republic.
WE "WON'T.
Sir Oliver Lodge, scientist, says the
sun will be cold in 20,000,000 years; but
don't let that worry you. New York
Herald. (
SEVEX MONTHS TODAY.
Just seven months, my baby girl,
Just seven months today
So when you creep up to my chair
I'll lay my book away;
For there's a story in those eyes.
Oh, brown-eyed baby mine!
Far sweeter than the grandest prose
Or poet's richest line.
So come up to my arms, sweetheart.
And watch the moo-cows pass.
And make the nicest marks and noise
On mamma's window glass,
And see the doggie chase the cat
'Way up the maple tree;
Yes, hold on tight to mamma, dear.
Because lie can't get me.
Those two cute teeth, just peeping
through.
Are mamma's chief delight;
Oh! I must make you laugh just once
To show their tiny white!
So come, let's play at pat-a-cake
Give me those dimpled hands;
It's dreadful hard for baby girls.
But mamma understands.
Now pat-a-cake all by yourself,
Dear little baker man,
And make those cookies just as fast,
Sweet darling, as you can;
Ah, there! I see those little teeth
A-shining through that smile!
Now let us put the cookies in
The oven for a while.
Dada! Oh! say it once again!
Your very newest word
For mamma thinks it is the sweetest
Music ever heard.
m m m
The sand man's here Our lesson's done,
And I must have my pay
A hundred kisses, baby girl.
Just seven months today.
Sara Josephine Albright.
Virginia Mammy's Trouble.
A big, fat colored woman, evidently
a Virginia mammy, encountered what
was to her serious trouble a few days
ago. She was, to judge from appear
ances, a native of some rural district,
and the chances are, came to town to
sell produce outside the Center mar
ket. The woman from the Old Domin
ion is certainly not familiar with city
ways, and beyond doubt is an absolute
stranger to new fangled contrivances,
even those in every day use.
She had occasion to go to the city
postoffice, and there her difficulties
were met. One of the revolving doora
of the Pennsylvania avenue entrance
to the big granite structure caused her
to halt. It struck her fancy as being
in the nature of a contrivance to bring
about the death of human beings by
the slow torture process. Only after
a dozen or more individuals had pass
ed through the doorway safely did the
visitor from Virginia dare enter one
of the four compartments of the door.
Of course, she pushed in tho wrong di
rection, and naturally the door became
jammed. It required the efforts of
two postoffice department watchmen
and three citizens for several minutes
to release the woman. She hastened
in the direction of the market mutter
ing: "I don't want no mo' of dem squirrel
cages for mine, nohow, I don't."
Washington Star.
Foreigners In Russia.
In relating an interview with a Rus
sian official in his article, "Russian
Peasant Riots," in the January Every
body's, Ernest Poole says:
"The chancellor smiled.
" 'Not long ago,' he replied, 'a gen
tleman came here with just such a let
ter. But meanwhile the governor had
received different orders from some
one in St. Petersburg. The gentleman
did not see the peasants.
" 'Let's get out of this,' I said,
speaking in low- English. 'Let's hire a
sleigh, and just begin looking, just as
we did in those other villages. At
least we can see something before we
get expelled.'
"Unfortunately, the chancellor
caught my meaning.
" 'If you try to see the peasants by
yourselves.' he said, 'you will not only
be watched by the police, but some at
least of the peasants to whom you talk
will be our spies. We have telephones
to every village, and in two hours at
latest we shall know not only whom
yjti have seen,, but also what you
yuorselves have said. Meanwhile you
will have been seized and thrown into
a village iail, awaiting our orders.' He
smiled grimly. 'Our village police are
rough fellows. They would doubtless
flo you both in jail before we could
inf.-uni them who you were. Of cours"
we should be sorry for this, and
should reprimand them. But in the
meantime, you see, you woui-1 have
bet'ii flogged.' "
On Tom Tteicl.
The following is stold of Thomas B.
Reed: When a young man, just com
pleting study of law. he wrote to the
postmaster of a small Arkansas town,
asking what opportunities it offered for
an honest lawyer, and stating he was a
Republican. This answer came back:
"If you are a Republican the game laws
would protect you, and if you are an
honest lawyer there will be no competi
tion." Exchange.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
Remember when tempted to do some
thing you shouldn't that all the neigh
bors are at the window.
One of the sorrows of a newspaper
reporter's life is that every night he
has to revise his list of friends.
Every man who has paid dry goods
bills is satisfied that Adam lived and
died without appreciating his good for
tune. Every man is advised to keep up his
courage and laugh at misfortune and
he obey by laughing at the misfortunes
of others.
An intimate acquaintance with a
woman always develops that her wom
en friends are not as perfect as you had
thought them.
The Coolidge Enterprise strives to
please, but confesses that when it puts
forth its best efforts, it fails. A
Coolidge princess is very indignant over
a compliment she received in the paper,
and the Enterprise, in Its determination
to begin the New Year right, makes a
public apology to the offended princess.
The Enterprise says the compliment is
retracted and never should have been
printed; that it was uncalled-for and
undeserved, and If the Enterprise had
known the wrathful princess then as it
knows her now, the compliments to her
never would have appeared on its pages.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
An egotist is a man who points with
pride. .
If they couldn't remarry few women
would want a divorce.
Some men find it easier to stand ad
versity than prosperity.
Generally the widow's grief lasts as
long as the bride s happiness.
There are - some pretty well fixed
stars in the theatrical firmament.
Let them give credit to whom credit
is due but Insist on spot cash for
yourself.
A woman is never old enough to
know that she will know more when
she Is older.
sometimes tne ousmess cares or a
man fail to worry him until he goes
home to dinner.
Every woman is a firm believer In
the biblical statement that "it is not
sood for man to live alone."
3.l (Wr: 'if
Und so long es I didtndt make any
resilooshuns, I feels dot id iss oop to
me to help break some uf dem vot der
Oder fellers made. I hates to blay short
horse ven anyding like dot come opp.
De Goferner uf Mrs. Sippy musd haf
spent a few dayss in der ruffneck dis
drict uf Topeka, er he vouldn't know
how bad der niggeros iss.
Dere iss somedlng else vot I do not
tink I vlould choos to be, und dot iss
Col. Miller, uf Franklin, Pencilvany.
Posd Mortem.
Der Oder night Gus Gobblesteinhauser
vas rubbering mit a noosbaper ven he
vake a liddle oop und say: "Hans, der
vorst disadwantage uf dying iss, dot
der supchect cannod read der sdory uf
his life vich appearss pressendtly in der
bapers."
Afder Gus haf voke clear opp und
vent home, I thinks seferal toughts
aboudt vot he remarks, und den 1 yells,
"You-reeker, I haf maked a discofer-
mendt!" I ducks der mug vich der
barten I mean der grocery clerk, fires
ad me, und jots down der solemn
tought: "Der anser to der ooniversal
kvesdion, 'Life, death den vot?" iss:
'Live, death, discofery.' In Oder vords
und more uf dem, 'Fairsd come
Life, den a brief spassum uf Death, fol
lered py a long series uf bawlings
oudt.' "
Along dese lines you may haf opserf
dot a feller iss dead, es a rool, longer
den he iss alife. Derefore, uf you vill
figger id oudt, you might opserf furder
dot vile a man half only aboudt skixdy
er skefendy yearss ad der mosd to do
tings, der Pooblic haf kvite a vile to
talk aboudt vot he do. Hence, dere
fore, der Man vot doess der tings iss der
looser. Mr. Bunnypardt uf Corsica vas
filed avaw kvite a vile ago, so vas Mr.
Nero, late uf Rome,- but der Vorld is3
sdill roasding dem.
Vile a man iss alife, mit some care
und lots uf vigilance, he can keeb der
buttons sewed on der lid uf hiss Skel
lington Box. Uf he croak, der Bones
iss oudt un cake-valking aroundt pe
fore der undertaker haf dime to mail
der fabric on der front door. Der lid
comes ouf, es it vere.
Uf der Deceased haf a prifate home
der Skellington iss 5er come-along mit
der key. Uf dere iss any decayed spots
In his pasd, id Iss der Skellington vot
pegins to dig fer dem like a razzer-back
shoat afder a sveet-potato.
All dis und blenty more iss earning
to der feller vot so far fergidts hls
seluf es to go dead. Death iss worse
den running fer offis es a bawler-oudt.
Vy? Pecaus der feller vot iss running
fer offis iss alife, und aple to make a
denials, vile der feller vich Iss real dead
half to stand fer id und make a nois
like a boiled aigg.
Fer mine, I haf nefer peen a crook, but
uf id iss all der same to der Reaper, I
vould like aboud six veeks notis. How
aboudt you?
UF COURS DOT ISS ID.
Mitoudt a doubt ven you vas oudt
Last night you dakes some tumbles;
Berhabs you yells, "Bananna shells!"
Pecaus you slibs und stumbles.
Berhabs you tought dot you had bought
Too many fizzy drinklets;
Be calm, my frlendt, und do nod spendt
Your dime in finking t'inklets.
Here iss a tip: A skinch you slip
Und busd your constitooshuns;
(Likevise your purse), on nodings vorse,
Den fractured resilooshuns.
HANS.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Some men are stronger in adversity
than in prosperity.
A necessity always seems less im
portant than a luxury.
It is better to take a canter before
breakfast than a decanter.
Politeness is generally expended on
people we don't know very well.
It's a good plan to forgive your en
emy, if he has the drop on you.
The marriageable age generally de
pends on the size of the bank account.
A man makes allowances for his
faults, even though his wife may be
one of them.
Oldbatch "And have you told her
everything in your past life?" Newly
wed "Not yet. We've only been mar
ried two weeks."
The young man of today may not
be quite up to the mark, but don't
turn him down for the uncertainty of
the young man of tomorrow.
The fellow who Is always talking
about what he has done is almost as
tiresome as the fellow who is always
telling you what he is going to do.
Scribbler "You don't hear of liter
ary men starving to death any more "
Scrawler "No; a poet can always bor
row breakfast money from some plu
tocratic ad. writer!"
I HhW OF J
5
if f